i need an answer of 300 words for the question below and its going to be from the Help book
The H elp KATH RYN S T O CK ETT Penguin G ro up U SA Table o f C onte nts C opyrig ht P age D ed ic a tio n A IB IL EEN c hap te r 1 - A ugust 1 962 c hap te r 2 M IN NY c hap te r 3 c hap te r 4 M IS S S K EETER c hap te r 5 c hap te r 6 A IB IL EEN c hap te r 7 M IS S S K EETER c hap te r 8 c hap te r 9 M IN NY c hap te r 1 0 M IS S S K EETER c hap te r 1 1 c hap te r 1 2 c hap te r 1 3 A IB IL EEN chap te r 1 4 chap te r 1 5 chap te r 1 6 MIN NY chap te r 1 7 chap te r 1 8 MIS S S K EETER chap te r 1 9 chap te r 2 0 chap te r 2 1 AIB IL EEN chap te r 2 2 chap te r 2 3 MIN NY chap te r 2 4 TH E B EN EFIT chap te r 2 5 MIN NY chap te r 2 6 MIS S S K EETER chap te r 2 7 chap te r 2 8 AIB IL EEN chap te r 2 9 MIN NY chap te r 3 0 AIB IL EEN chap te r 3 1 MIN NY chap te r 3 2 MIS S S K EETER chap te r 3 3 AIB IL EEN chap te r 3 4 Ack now le d gem en ts TO O L IT TLE , T O O L ATE ABO U T T H E A U TH OR AM Y E IN HORN B O OKS Pub lis h ed b y G . P . P utn am 's S ons Publis h ers S in ce 1 838 Pub lis h ed b y th e P enguin G ro up Penguin G ro up ( U SA ) I n c., 3 75 H ud so n S tr e et, N ew Y ork , N ew Y ork 1 0014, U SA P enguin Gro up ( C anad a), 9 0 E glin to n A venue E ast, S uit e 7 00, T oro nto , O nta rio M 4P 2 Y 3, C anad a ( a d iv is io n o f Pears o n C anad a I n c.) P enguin B ooks L td , 8 0 S tr a nd , L ond on W C2R 0 R L, E ngla nd P enguin Ire la nd , 2 5 S t S te p hen's G re en, D ub lin 2 , I re la nd ( a d iv is io n o f P enguin B ooks L td ) P enguin Gro up ( A ustr a lia ), 2 50 C am berw ell R oad , C am berw ell, V ic to ria 3 124, A ustr a lia ( a d iv is io n of P ears o n A ustr a lia G ro up P ty L td ) P enguin B ooks I n d ia P vt L td , 1 1 C om munit y C entr e , Panchsh eel P ark , N ew D elh i- 1 1 0 0 17, I n d ia P enguin G ro up ( N Z), 6 7 A pollo D riv e, R ose d ale , North S ho re 0 632, N ew Z eala nd ( a d iv is io n o f P ears o n N ew Z eala nd L td ) P enguin B ooks (S outh A fr ic a) ( P ty ) L td , 2 4 S tu rd ee A venue, R ose b ank , J o hannesb urg 2 196, S outh A fr ic a Penguin B ooks L td , R egis te re d O ffic es: 8 0 S tr a nd , L ond on W C2R 0 R L, E ngla nd Fir s t p ub lis h ed in th e U nit e d S ta te s b y A my E in ho rn B ooks, p ub lis h ed b y G . P . P utn am 's S ons Copyrig ht ( c ) 2 009 b y K ath ry n S to ck ett All r ig hts r e se rv ed . N o p art o f th is b ook m ay b e r e p ro duced , s c anned , o r d is tr ib ute d in a ny prin te d or e le ctr o nic fo rm w it h o ut p erm is sio n. P le ase d o n o t p artic ip ate in o r e nco ura ge p ir a cy o f co pyrig hte d mate ria ls in v io la tio n o f th e a uth o r's r ig hts . P urc hase o nly a uth o riz e d e d it io ns.
Pub lis h ed s im ult a neo usly in C anad a A C IP c ata lo gue r e co rd o f th is b ook is a vaila b le fr o m th e U .S . L ib ra ry o f C ongre ss.
This is a w ork o f fic tio n. N am es, c hara cte rs , p la ces, a nd in cid ents e it h er a re th e p ro duct o f th e auth o r's im agin atio n o r a re u se d fic tit io usly , a nd a ny r e se m bla nce to a ctu al p ers o ns, liv in g o r d ead , busin esse s, c o m panie s, e vents , o r lo cale s is e ntir e ly c o in cid enta l.
While th e a uth o r h as m ad e e very e ffo rt to p ro vid e a ccura te te le p ho ne n um bers a nd I n te rn et ad dre sse s at th e tim e o f p ub lic atio n, n eit h er th e p ub lis h er n o r th e a uth o r a ssu m es a ny r e sp onsib ilit y fo r e rro rs , or fo r c hanges th at o ccur a fte r p ub lic atio n. F urth er, th e p ub lis h er d oes n o t h ave a ny c o ntr o l o ver and d oes n o t a ssu m e a ny r e sp onsib ilit y fo r a uth o r o r th ir d -p arty w eb sit e s o r th eir c o nte nt.
eIS B N : 9 78-1 -4 40-6 9763-0 http :/ /u s.p enguin gro up .c o m T o G ra nd ad dy S to ck ett, th e b est s to ry te lle r o f a ll AIB IL E EN ch ap te r 1 August 1 962 M AE M OBLEY w as b orn o n a e arly S und ay m orn in g in A ugust, 1 960. A c hurc h b ab y w e lik e to c all it . T ak in g c are a w hit e b ab ie s, th at's w hat I d o, a lo ng w it h a ll th e c o okin g a nd th e c le anin g. I d one r a is e d s e vente en k id s in m y lif e tim e. I k no w h o w to g et th em b ab ie s to s le ep , s to p c ry in g, a nd g o in th e to ile t b ow l b efo re th ey m am as e ven g et o ut a b ed in th e m orn in g.
B ut I a in 't n ever s e en a b ab y y ell lik e M ae M oble y L eefo lt . F ir s t d ay I w alk in th e d oor, th ere s h e b e, r e d -h o t a nd h o lle rin g w it h th e c o lic , fig htin g th at b ottle lik e it 's a r o tte n tu rn ip . M is s L eefo lt , s h e l o ok te rrif ie d a h er o w n c hild . " W hat a m I d oin g w ro ng? W hy c an't I s to p it ? " I t?
T hat w as m y fir s t h in t: s o m eth in g is w ro ng w it h th is s it u atio n.
S o I to ok th at p in k , s c re am in g b ab y in m y a rm s. B ounced h er o n m y h ip to g et th e g as m ovin g a nd it d id n't ta k e tw o m in ute s fo re B ab y G ir l s to pped h er c ry in g, g o t to s m ilin g u p a t m e lik e s h e d o. B ut M is s L eefo lt , s h e d on't p ic k u p h er o w n b ab y fo r th e r e st a th e d ay. I s e en p le nty a w om ens g et th e b ab y b lu es a fte r th ey d one b ir th in g. I r e ck on I th o ught th at's w hat it w as.
H ere 's s o m eth in g a b out M is s L eefo lt : s h e n o t ju st fr o w nin g a ll th e tim e, s h e s k in ny. H er le gs is s o s p in d ly , s h e lo ok lik e s h e d one g ro w ed e m la st w eek . T w enty -th re e y ears o ld a nd s h e la nk y a s a f o urte en-y ear- o ld b oy. E ven h er h air is th in , b ro w n, s e e-th ro ugh. S he tr y to te ase it u p , b ut it o nly m ak e it lo ok th in ner. H er fa ce b e th e s a m e s h ap e a s th at r e d d evil o n th e r e d ho t c and y b ox, p oin ty c hin a nd a ll. F act, h er w ho le b ody b e s o fu ll a s h arp k no bs a nd c o rn ers , it 's n o w ond er s h e c an't s o oth e th at b ab y. B ab ie s lik e fa t. L ik e to b ury th ey fa ce u p in y o u a rm pit a nd g o to s le ep . T hey lik e b ig fa t le gs to o. T hat I k no w .
B y th e tim e s h e a y ear o ld , M ae M oble y fo llo w in g m e a ro und e verw here I g o . F iv e o 'c lo ck w ould c o m e r o und a nd s h e'd b e h angin g o n m y D r. S cho ll s h o e, d ra ggin g o ver th e flo or, c ry in g lik e I w ere n't n ever c o m in g b ack . M is s L eefo lt , s h e'd n arro w u p h er e yes a t m e lik e I d one s o m eth in g w ro ng, u nhit c h th at c ry in g b ab y o ff m y fo ot. I r e ck on th at's th e r is k y o u r u n, le ttin g s o m eb ody e ls e r a is e y o u c hillu ns.
M ae M oble y tw o y ears o ld n o w . S he g o t b ig b ro w n e yes a nd h o ney-c o lo r c urls . B ut th e b ald s p ot i n th e b ack o f h er h air k in d a th ro w th in gs o ff. S he g et th e s a m e w rin k le b etw een h er e yeb ro w s w hen s h e w orrie d , lik e h er m am a. T hey k in d a fa vo r e xcep t M ae M oble y s o fa t. S he a in 't g o ne b e n o b eauty q ueen. I th in k it b oth er M is s L eefo lt , b ut M ae M oble y m y s p ecia l b ab y.
I L O ST M Y O W N B O Y, T re elo re , r ig ht b efo re I s ta rte d w ait in g o n M is s L eefo lt . H e w as tw enty - f o ur y ears o ld . T he b est p art o f a p ers o n's lif e . I t ju st w asn 't e no ugh tim e liv in g in th is w orld .
H e h ad h im a lit tle a p artm ent o ver o n F ole y S tr e et. S eein g a r e al n ic e g ir l n am e F ra nces a nd I s p ec th ey w as g o ne g et m arrie d , b ut h e w as s lo w b out th in gs lik e th at. N ot c ause h e lo okin g fo r so m eth in g b ette r, ju st c ause h e th e th in k in g k in d . W ore b ig g la sse s a nd r e ad in g a ll th e tim e. H e e ven sta rt w rit in g h is o w n b ook, b out b ein g a c o lo re d m an liv in g a nd w ork in g in M is sis sip pi. L aw , th at mad e m e p ro ud . B ut o ne n ig ht h e w ork in g la te a t th e S canlo n-T aylo r m ill, lu ggin g tw o-b y-fo urs to th e tr u ck , s p lin te rs s lic in g a ll th e w ay th ro ugh th e g lo ve. H e to o s m all fo r th at k in d a w ork , to o sk in ny, b ut h e n eed ed th e jo b. H e w as tir e d . I t w as r a in in g. H e s lip o ff th e lo ad in g d ock , fe ll d ow n on th e d riv e. T ra cto r tr a ile r d id n't s e e h im a nd c ru sh ed h is lu ngs fo re h e c o uld m ove. B y th e tim e I fo und o ut, h e w as d ead .
That w as th e d ay m y w ho le w orld w ent b la ck . A ir lo ok b la ck , s u n lo ok b la ck . I la id u p in b ed a nd sta re d a t th e b la ck w alls a m y h o use . M in ny c am e e ver d ay to m ak e s u re I w as s till b re ath in g, fe ed me fo od to k eep m e liv in g. T ook th re e m onth s fo re I e ven lo ok o ut th e w in d ow , s e e if th e w orld s till th ere . I w as s u rp ris e to s e e th e w orld d id n't s to p ju st c ause m y b oy d id .
Fiv e m onth s a fte r th e fu nera l, I lif te d m yse lf u p o ut a b ed . I p ut o n m y w hit e u nif o rm a nd p ut m y lit tle go ld c ro ss b ack a ro und m y n eck a nd I w ent to w ait o n M is s L eefo lt c ause s h e ju st h ave h er b ab y gir l. B ut it w ere n't to o lo ng b efo re I s e en s o m eth in g in m e h ad c hanged . A b it te r s e ed w as p la nte d in sid e a m e. A nd I ju st d id n't fe el s o a ccep tin g a nym ore .
"G ET T H E H O USE s tr a ig hte ned u p a nd th en g o o n a nd fix s o m e o f th at c hic k en s a la d n o w ," s a y Mis s L eefo lt .
It's b rid ge c lu b d ay. E very fo urth W ed nesd ay a th e m onth . A c o urs e I a lr e ad y g o t e verth in g r e ad y to go --m ad e th e c hic k en s a la d th is m orn in g, ir o ned th e ta b le clo th s y este rd ay. M is s L eefo lt s e en m e a t it to o. S he a in 't b ut tw enty -th re e y ears o ld a nd s h e lik e h earin g h ers e lf te ll m e w hat to d o.
She a lr e ad y g o t th e b lu e d re ss o n I ir o ned th is m orn in g, th e o ne w it h six ty -fiv e p le ats o n th e w ais t, so tin y I g o t to s q uin t th ro ugh m y g la sse s to ir o n. I d on't h ate m uch in lif e , b ut m e a nd th at d re ss is not o n g o od te rm s.
"A nd y o u m ak e s u re M ae M oble y's n o t c o m in g in o n u s, n o w . I te ll y o u, I a m s o b urn ed u p a t h er- - to re u p m y g o od s ta tio nery in to fiv e th o usa nd p ie ces a nd I 'v e g o t fif te en th ank -y o u n o te s fo r th e Ju nio r L eague to d o . . ." I a rra nge th e-th is a nd th e-th at fo r h er la d y fr ie nd s. S et o ut th e g o od c ry sta l, p ut th e s ilv er s e rv ic e out. M is s L eefo lt d on't p ut u p n o d in k y c ard ta b le lik e th e o th er la d ie s d o. W e s e t a t th e d in in g r o om ta b le . P ut a c lo th o n to p to c o ver th e b ig L -sh ap ed c ra ck , m ove th at r e d flo w er c ente rp ie ce to th e sid eb oard to h id e w here th e w ood a ll s c ra tc hed . M is s L eefo lt , s h e lik e it fa ncy w hen s h e d o a lu ncheo n. M ayb e s h e tr y in g to m ak e u p fo r h er h o use b ein g s m all. T hey a in 't r ic h fo lk , th at I k no w .
Ric h fo lk d on't tr y s o h ard .
I'm u se d to w ork in g fo r y o ung c o up le s, b ut I s p ec th is is th e s m alle st h o use I e ver w ork ed in . I t's ju st th e o ne s to ry . H er a nd M is te r L eefo lt 's r o om in th e b ack b e a fa ir s iz e , b ut B ab y G ir l's r o om b e tin y. T he d in in g r o om a nd th e r e gula r liv in g r o om k in d a jo in u p . O nly tw o b ath ro om s, w hic h is a re lie f c ause I w ork ed in h o use s w here th ey w as fiv e o r s ix . T ak e a w ho le d ay ju st to c le an to ile ts .
Mis s L eefo lt d on't p ay b ut n in ety -fiv e c ents a n h o ur, le ss th an I b een p aid in y ears . B ut a fte r T re elo re die d , I to ok w hat I c o uld . L and lo rd w asn 't g o ne w ait m uch lo nger. A nd e ven th o ugh it 's s m all, M is s Leefo lt d one th e h o use u p n ic e a s s h e c an. S he p re tty g o od w it h th e s e w in g m achin e. A nyth in g s h e can't b uy n ew o f, s h e ju st g et h er s o m e b lu e m ate ria l a nd s e w it a c o ver.
The d oorb ell r in g a nd I o pen it u p .
"H ey, A ib ile en," M is s S keete r s a y, c ause s h e th e k in d th at s p eak to th e h elp . " H ow y o u?" "H ey, M is s S keete r. I 'm a lr ig ht. L aw , it 's h o t o ut th ere ." Mis s S keete r r e al ta ll a nd s k in ny. H er h air b e y ello w a nd c ut s h o rt a b ove h er s h o uld ers c ause s h e get th e fr iz z y ear r o und . S he tw enty -th re e o r s o , s a m e a s M is s L eefo lt a nd th e r e st o f e m . S he s e t her p ock etb ook o n th e c hair , k in d a it c h a ro und in h er c lo th es a s e co nd . S he w earin g a w hit e la ce blo use b utto ned u p lik e a n un, fla t s h o es s o I r e ck on s h e d on't lo ok a ny ta lle r. H er b lu e s k ir t g ap s open in th e w ais t. M is s S keete r a lw ays lo ok lik e s o m eb ody e ls e to ld h er w hat to w ear.
I h ear M is s H illy a nd h er m am a, M is s W alt e r, p ull u p th e d riv ew ay a nd to ot th e h o rn . M is s H illy don't liv e b ut te n fe et a w ay, b ut s h e a lw ays d riv e o ver. I le t h er in a nd s h e g o r ig ht p ast m e a nd I fig ure it 's a g o od tim e to g et M ae M oble y u p fr o m h er n ap .
Soon a s I w alk in h er n urs e ry , M ae M oble y s m ile a t m e, r e ach o ut h er fa t lit tle a rm s.
"Y ou a lr e ad y u p , B ab y G ir l? W hy y o u d id n't h o lle r fo r m e?" She la ugh, d ance a lit tle h ap py jig w ait in g o n m e to g et h er o ut. I g iv e h er a g o od h ug. I r e ck on s h e don't g et to o m any g o od h ugs lik e th is a fte r I g o h o m e. E ver s o o fte n, I c o m e to w ork a nd fin d h er baw lin g in h er c rib , M is s L eefo lt b usy o n th e s e w in g m achin e r o llin g h er e yes lik e it 's a s tr a y c at stu ck in th e s c re en d oor. S ee, M is s L eefo lt , s h e d re ss u p n ic e e ver d ay. A lw ays g o t h er m ak eup o n, go t a c arp ort, d oub le -d oor F rig id air e w it h th e b uilt - in ic eb ox. Y ou s e e h er in th e J it n ey 1 4 g ro cery , yo u n ever th in k s h e g o a nd le ave h er b ab y c ry in g in h er c rib lik e th at. B ut th e h elp a lw ays k no w .
Today is a g o od d ay th o ugh. T hat g ir l ju st g rin s.
I s a y, " A ib ile en." She s a y, " A ib -e e." I s a y, " L ove." She s a y, " L ove." I s a y, " M ae M oble y." She s a y, " A ib -e e." A nd th en s h e la ugh a nd la ugh. S he s o tic k le d s h e ta lk in g a nd I g o t to s a y, it 's ab out tim e. T re elo re d id n't s a y n o th in g till h e tw o e it h er. B y th e tim e h e in th ir d g ra d e, th o ugh, h e g et to ta lk in g b ette r th an th e P re sid ent a th e U nit e d S ta te s, c o m in g h o m e u sin g w ord s lik e co nju gatio n and parlia m en ta ry . H e g et in ju nio r h ig h a nd w e p la y th is g am e w here I g iv e h im a r e al s im ple w ord and h e g o t to c o m e u p w it h a fa ncy o ne lik e it . I s a y house ca t , h e s a y dom estic iz e d f e lin e , I s a y mix er a nd h e s a y moto riz e d r o tu nda.
O ne d ay I s a y Cris c o .
H e s c ra tc h h is h ead . H e ju st c an't belie ve I d one w on th e g am e w it h s o m eth in g s im ple a s Cris c o . C am e to b e a s e cre t jo ke w it h u s, meanin g s o m eth in g y o u c an't d re ss u p n o m atte r h o w y o u tr y . W e s ta rt c allin g h is d ad dy Cris c o cause y o u c an't fa ncy u p a m an d one r u n o ff o n h is fa m ily . P lu s h e th e g re asie st n o -c o unt y o u e ver kno w n.
I to te M ae M oble y in to th e k it c hen a nd p ut h er in h er h ig h c hair , th in k in g a b out tw o c ho re s I n eed to fin is h to day fo re M is s L eefo lt h ave a fit : s e p ara te th e n ap kin s th at s ta rte d to fr a y a nd s tr a ig hte n u p th e s ilv er s e rv ic e in th e c ab in et. L aw , I 'm o n h ave to d o it w hile th e la d ie s is h ere , I g uess.
I ta k e th e tr a y a d evil e ggs o ut to th e d in in g r o om . M is s L eefo lt s e ttin g a t th e h ead a nd to h er le ft b e Mis s H illy H olb ro ok a nd M is s H illy 's m am a, M is s W alt e r, w ho M is s H illy d on't tr e at w it h n o re sp ect. A nd th en o n M is s L eefo lt 's r ig ht b e M is s S keete r.
I m ak e th e e gg r o und s, s ta rtin g w it h o le M is s W alt e r fir s t c ause s h e th e e ld er. I t's w arm in h ere , b ut sh e g o t a th ic k b ro w n s w eate r d ro oped a ro und h er s h o uld ers . S he s c o op a e gg u p a nd n ear b out dro p it c ause s h e g ettin g th e p als y. T hen I m ove o ver to M is s H illy a nd s h e s m ile a nd ta k e tw o. M is s Hilly g o t a r o und fa ce a nd d ark b ro w n h air in th e b eehiv e. H er s k in b e o liv e c o lo r, w it h fr e ck le s a nd mole s. S he w ear a lo t a r e d p la id . A nd s h e g ettin g h eavy in th e b otto m . T oday, s in ce it 's s o h o t, s h e wearin g a r e d s le evele ss d re ss w it h n o w ais t to it . S he o ne a th o se g ro w n la d ie s th at s till d re ss lik e a lit tle g ir l w it h b ig b ow s a nd m atc hin g h ats a nd s u ch. S he a in 't m y fa vo rit e .
I m ove o ver to M is s S keete r, b ut s h e w rin k le h er n o se u p a t m e a nd s a y, " N o, th ank s," c ause s h e don't e at n o e ggs. I te ll M is s L eefo lt e ver tim e s h e h ave th e b rid ge c lu b a nd s h e m ak e m e d o th em eggs a nyw ays. S he s c are d M is s H illy b e d is a p poin te d .
Fin ally , I d o M is s L eefo lt . S he th e h o ste ss s o s h e g o t to p ic k u p h er e ggs la st. A nd s o on a s I 'm done, M is s H illy s a y, " D on't m in d if I d o," a nd s n atc h h ers e lf tw o m ore e ggs, w hic h d on't s u rp ris e me.
"G uess w ho I r a n in to a t th e b eauty p arlo r? " M is s H illy s a y to th e la d ie s.
"W ho 's th at? " a sk M is s L eefo lt .
"C elia F oote . A nd d o y o u k no w w hat s h e a sk ed m e? I f s h e c o uld h elp w it h th e B enefit th is y ear." "G ood," M is s S keete r s a y. " W e n eed it ." "N ot th at b ad , w e d on't . I to ld h er, I s a id , 'C elia , y o u h ave to b e a L eague m em ber o r a s u sta in er to partic ip ate .' W hat d oes s h e th in k th e J a ck so n L eague is ? O pen r u sh ?" "A re n't w e ta k in g n o nm em bers th is y ear? S in ce th e B enefit 's g o tte n s o b ig ?" M is s S keete r a sk .
"W ell, y es," M is s H illy s a y. " B ut I w asn 't a b out to te ll her th at." "I c an't b elie ve J o hnny m arrie d a g ir l s o ta ck y lik e s h e is ," M is s L eefo lt s a y a nd M is s H illy n o d. S he sta rt d ealin g o ut th e b rid ge c ard s. I s p oon o ut th e c o ngeale d s a la d a nd th e h am s a nd w ic hes, c an't h elp b ut lis te n to th e c hatte r. O nly th re e th in gs th em la d ie s ta lk a b out: th ey k id s, th ey c lo th es, a nd th ey fr ie nd s. I h ear th e w ord Ken ned y , I k no w th ey a in 't d is c ussin g n o p olit ic . T hey ta lk in g a b out w hat M is s J a ck ie d one w ore o n th e te e-v ee.
When I g et a ro und to M is s W alt e r, s h e d on't ta k e b ut o ne lit tle o ld h alf a s a nd w ic h fo r h ers e lf .
"M am a," M is s H illy y ell a t M is s W alt e r, " T ak e a no th er s a nd w ic h. Y ou a re s k in ny a s a te le p ho ne pole ." M is s H illy lo ok o ver a t th e r e st a th e ta b le . " I k eep te llin g h er, if th at M in ny c an't c o ok s h e need s to ju st g o o n a nd fir e h er." My e ars p erk u p a t th is . T hey ta lk in g b out th e h elp . I 'm b est fr ie nd s w it h M in ny.
"M in ny c o oks fin e," s a y o le M is s W alt e r. " I'm ju st n o t s o h ungry lik e I u se d to b e." Min ny n ear b out th e b est c o ok in H in d s C ounty , m ayb e e ven a ll a M is sis sip pi. T he J u nio r L eague Benefit c o m e a ro und e ver fa ll a nd th ey b e w antin g h er to m ak e te n c ara m el c ak es to a uctio n o ff. S he ought a b e th e m ost s o ught- a fte r h elp in th e s ta te . P ro ble m is , M in ny g o t a m outh o n h er. S he a lw ays ta lk in g b ack . O ne d ay it b e th e w hit e m anager a th e J it n ey J u ngle g ro cery , n ext d ay it b e h er husb and , a nd e ver d ay it 's g o ne b e th e w hit e la d y s h e w ait in g o n. T he o nly r e aso n s h e w ait in g o n Mis s W alt e r s o lo ng is M is s W alt e r b e d eaf a s a d oe-n o b.
"I th in k y o u'r e m aln utr it io ned , M am a," h o lle r M is s H illy . " T hat M in ny is n 't fe ed in g y o u s o th at s h e can s te al e very la st h eir lo om I h ave le ft." M is s H illy h uff o ut a h er c hair . " I'm g o in g to th e p ow der ro om . Y 'a ll w atc h h er in c ase s h e c o lla p se s d ead o f h unger." When M is s H illy g o ne, M is s W alt e r s a y r e al lo w , " I b et y o u'd lo ve th at." E verb ody a ct lik e th ey did n't h ear. I b ette r c all M in ny to nig ht, te ll h er w hat M is s H illy s a id .
In th e k it c hen, B ab y G ir l's u p in h er h ig h c hair , g o t p urp le ju ic e a ll o ver h er fa ce. S oon a s I w alk in , sh e s m ile . S he d on't m ak e n o fu ss b ein g in h ere b y h ers e lf , b ut I h ate to le ave h er to o lo ng. I k no w sh e s ta re a t th at d oor r e al q uie t till I c o m e b ack .
I p at h er lit tle s o ft h ead a nd g o b ack o ut to p our th e ic e te a. M is s H illy 's b ack in h er c hair lo okin g a ll bow ed u p a b out s o m eth in g e ls e n o w .
"O h H illy , I w is h y o u'd u se th e g uest b ath ro om ," s a y M is s L eefo lt , r e arra ngin g h er c ard s. " A ib ile en doesn 't c le an in th e b ack u ntil a fte r lu nch." Hilly r a is e h er c hin u p . T hen s h e g iv e o ne a h er " a h-h em 's ." S he g o t th is w ay a c le arin g h er th ro at re al d elic ate -lik e th at g et e verb ody's a tte ntio n w it h o ut th ey e ven k no w in g s h e m ad e e m d o it .
"B ut th e g uest b ath ro om 's w here th e h elp g o es," M is s H illy s a y.
Nobody s a ys a nyth in g fo r a s e co nd . T hen M is s W alt e r n o d, lik e s h e e xp la in in g it a ll. " S he's u p se t cause th e N ig ra u se s th e in sid e b ath ro om a nd s o d o w e." Law , n o t th is m ess a gain . T hey a ll lo ok o ver a t m e s tr a ig hte nin g th e s ilv er d ra w er in th e s id eb oard and I k no w it 's tim e fo r m e to le ave. B ut b efo re I c an g et th e la st s p oon in th ere , M is s L eefo lt g iv e me th e lo ok, s a y, " G o g et s o m e m ore te a, A ib ile en." I g o lik e s h e te ll m e to , e ven th o ugh th ey c up s is fu ll to th e r im .
I s ta nd a ro und th e k it c hen a m in ute b ut I a in 't g o t n o th in g le ft to d o in th ere . I n eed to b e in th e d in in g ro om s o I c an fin is h m y s ilv er s tr a ig hte nin g. A nd I s till g o t th e n ap kin c ab in et to s o rt th ro ugh to day but it 's in th e h all, r ig ht o uts id e w here th ey s e ttin g. I d on't w ant a s ta y la te ju st c ause M is s L eefo lt pla yin g c ard s.
I w ait a fe w m in ute s, w ip e a c o unte r. G iv e B ab y G ir l m ore h am a nd s h e g o bble it u p . F in ally , I s lip out to th e h all, p ra y n o body s e e m e.
All fo ur o f e m g o t a c ig are tte in o ne h and , th ey c ard s in th e o th er. " E liz a b eth , if y o u h ad th e c ho ic e," I hear M is s H illy s a y, " w ould n't y o u r a th er th em ta k e th eir b usin ess o uts id e?" Real q uie t, I o pen th e n ap kin d ra w er, m ore c o ncern ed a b out M is s L eefo lt s e ein g m e th an w hat th ey sa yin g. T his ta lk a in 't n ew s to m e. E verw here in to w n th ey g o t a c o lo re d b ath ro om , a nd m ost th e ho use s d o to o. B ut I lo ok o ver a nd M is s S keete r's w atc hin g m e a nd I fr e eze , th in k in g I 'm a b out to get in tr o ub le .
"I b id o ne h eart," M is s W alt e r s a y.
"I d on't k no w ," M is s L eefo lt s a y, fr o w nin g a t h er c ard s, " W it h R ale ig h s ta rtin g h is o w n b usin ess a nd ta x s e aso n n o t fo r s ix m onth s . . . th in gs a re r e al tig ht fo r u s r ig ht n o w ." Mis s H illy ta lk s lo w , lik e s h e s p re ad in g ic in g o n a c ak e. " Y ou ju st te ll R ale ig h e very p enny h e s p end s on th at b ath ro om h e'll g et b ack w hen y 'a ll s e ll th is h o use ." S he n o d lik e s h e a gre ein g w it h h ers e lf .
"A ll th ese h o use s th ey'r e b uild in g w it h o ut m aid 's q uarte rs ? I t's ju st p la in d angero us. E very b ody kno w s th ey c arry d if fe re nt k in d s o f d is e ase s th an w e d o. I d oub le ." I p ic k u p a s ta ck a n ap kin s. I d on't k no w w hy, b ut a ll a s u d den I w ant a h ear w hat M is s L eefo lt go ne s a y to th is . S he m y b oss. I g uess e verb ody w ond er w hat th ey b oss th in k a th em .
"It w ould b e n ic e," M is s L eefo lt s a y, ta k in g a lit tle p uff a h er c ig are tte , " n o t h avin g h er u se th e o ne in th e h o use . I b id th re e s p ad es." "T hat's e xactly w hy I 'v e d esig ned th e H om e H elp S anit a tio n I n it ia tiv e," M is s H illy s a y. " A s a dis e ase -p re venta tiv e m easu re ." I'm s u rp ris e d b y h o w tig ht m y th ro at g et. I t's a s h am e I le arn ed to k eep d ow n a lo ng tim e a go .
Mis s S keete r lo ok r e al c o nfu se d . " T he H om e... th e w hat? " "A b ill th at r e q uir e s e very w hit e h o m e to h ave a s e p ara te b ath ro om fo r th e c o lo re d h elp . I 'v e e ven no tif ie d th e s u rg eo n g enera l o f M is sis sip pi to s e e if h e'll e nd ors e th e id ea. I p ass." Mis s S keete r, s h e fr o w nin g a t M is s H illy . S he s e t h er c ard s d ow n fa ceup a nd s a y r e al m atte r- a -fa ct, "M ayb e w e o ught to ju st b uild y o u a b ath ro om o uts id e, H illy ." And L aw , d o th at r o om g et q uie t.
Mis s H illy s a y, " I d on't th in k y o u o ught to b e jo kin g a ro und a b out th e c o lo re d s it u atio n. N ot if y o u want to s ta y o n a s e d it o r o f th e L eague, S keete r P hela n." Mis s S keete r k in d a la ugh, b ut I c an te ll s h e d on't th in k it 's fu nny. " W hat, y o u'd . . . k ic k m e o ut?
For d is a gre ein g w it h y o u?" Mis s H illy r a is e a e yeb ro w . " I w ill d o w hate ver I h ave to d o to p ro te ct o ur to w n. Y our le ad , M am a." I g o in th e k it c hen a nd d on't c o m e o ut a gain till I h ear th e d oor c lo se a fte r M is s H illy 's b ehin d .
WHEN I K NOW M is s H IL LY G O NE, I p ut M ae M oble y in h er p la yp en, d ra g th e g arb age b in o ut to th e s tr e et c ause th e tr u ck 's c o m in g b y to day. A t th e to p a th e d riv ew ay, M is s H illy a nd h er c ra zy mam a n ear b out b ack o ver m e in th ey c ar, th en y ell o ut a ll fr ie nd ly h o w s o rry th ey is . I w alk in th e ho use , g la d I a in 't g o t tw o n ew b ro ken le gs.
When I g o in th e k it c hen, M is s S keete r's in th ere . S he le anin g a gain st th e c o unte r, g o t a s e rio us lo ok on h er fa ce, e ven m ore s e rio us th an u su al. " H ey, M is s S keete r. I g et y o u s o m eth in g?" She g la nce o ut a t th e d riv e w here M is s L eefo lt 's ta lk in g to M is s H illy th ro ugh h er c ar w in d ow . " N o, I'm ju st . . . w ait in g." I d ry a tr a y w it h a to w el. W hen I s n eak a lo ok o ver, s h e's s till g o t h er w orrie d e yes o n th at w in d ow .
She d on't lo ok lik e o th er la d ie s, b ein g s h e s o ta ll. S he g o t r e al h ig h c heek bones. B lu e e yes th at tu rn dow n, g iv in g h er a s h y w ay a b out h er. I t's q uie t, e xcep t fo r th e lit tle r a d io o n th e c o unte r, p la yin g th e go sp el s ta tio n. I w is h s h e'd g o o n o ut a h ere .
"Is th at P re acher G re en's s e rm on y o u'r e p la yin g o n th e r a d io ?" s h e a sk .
"Y es m a'a m , it is ." Mis s S keete r k in d a s m ile . " T hat r e m in d s m e s o m uch o f m y m aid g ro w in g u p ." "O h I k new C onsta ntin e," I s a y.
Mis s S keete r m ove h er e yes fr o m th e w in d ow to m e. " S he r a is e d m e, d id y o u k no w th at? " I n o d, w is h in g I h ad n't s a id n o th in g. I k no w to o m uch a b out th at s it u atio n.
"I'v e b een tr y in g to g et a n a d dre ss fo r h er fa m ily in C hic ago ," s h e s a y, " b ut n o body c an te ll m e anyth in g." "I d on't h ave it e it h er, m a'a m ." Mis s S keete r m ove h er e yes b ack to th e w in d ow , o n M is s H illy 's B uic k . S he s h ak e h er h ead , ju st a lit tle . " A ib ile en, th at ta lk in th ere . . . H illy 's ta lk , I m ean . . ." I p ic k u p a c o ffe e c up , s ta rt d ry in g it r e al g o od w it h m y c lo th .
"D o y o u e ver w is h y o u c o uld ... c hange th in gs? " s h e a sk s.
And I c an't h elp m yse lf . I lo ok a t h er h ead o n. C ause th at's o ne a th e s tu p id est q uestio ns I e ver heard . S he g o t a c o nfu se d , d is g uste d lo ok o n h er fa ce, lik e s h e d one s a lt e d h er c o ffe e in ste ad a su gare d it .
I tu rn b ack to m y w ash in g, s o s h e d on't s e e m e r o llin g m y e yes. " O h n o , m a'a m , e verth in g's fin e." "B ut th at ta lk in th ere , a b out th e bath ro om --" a nd s m ack o n th at w ord , M is s L eefo lt w alk in th e kit c hen.
"O h, th ere y o u a re , S keete r." S he lo ok a t u s b oth k in d a fu nny. " I'm s o rry , d id I . . . in te rru p t so m eth in g?" W e b oth s ta nd th ere , w ond erin g w hat s h e m ig ht a h eard .
"I h ave to r u n," M is s S keete r s a ys. " S ee y o u to m orro w , E liz a b eth ." S he o pen th e b ack d oor, s a y, "T hank s, A ib ile en, fo r lu nch," a nd s h e g o ne.
I g o in th e d in in g r o om , s ta rt c le arin g th e b rid ge ta b le . A nd ju st lik e I k new s h e w ould , M is s L eefo lt co m e in b ehin d m e w earin g h er u p se t s m ile . H er n eck 's s tic k in g o ut lik e s h e fix in g to a sk m e so m eth in g. S he d on't lik e m e ta lk in g to h er fr ie nd s w hen s h e a in 't a ro und , n ever h as. A lw ays w antin g to k no w w hat w e s a yin g. I g o r ig ht o n p ast h er in to th e k it c hen. I p ut B ab y G ir l in h er h ig h c hair a nd sta rt c le anin g th e o ven.
Mis s L eefo lt fo llo w m e in th ere , e yeb all a b uck et a C ris c o , p ut it d ow n. B ab y G ir l h o ld h er a rm s o ut fo r h er m am a to p ic k h er u p , b ut M is s L eefo lt o pen a c ab in et, a ct lik e s h e d on't s e e. T hen s h e s la m it c lo se , o pen a no th er o ne. F in ally s h e ju st s ta nd th ere . I 'm d ow n o n m y h and s a nd k nees. P re tty so on m y h ead 's s o fa r in th at o ven I lo ok lik e I 'm tr y in g to g as m yse lf .
"Y ou a nd M is s S keete r lo oked lik e y o u w ere ta lk in g a w fu l s e rio us a b out s o m eth in g." "N o m a'a m , s h e ju st... a sk in g d o I w ant s o m e o ld c lo th es," I s a y a nd it s o und lik e I 'm d ow n in a well- h o le . G re ase a lr e ad y w ork in g it s e lf u p m y a rm s. S m ell lik e a u nd era rm in h ere . D on't ta k e n o tim e fo re s w eat's r u nnin g d ow n m y n o se a nd e ver tim e I s c ra tc h a t it , I g et a p lu g a c ru d o n m y fa ce.
Got to b e th e w ors t p la ce in th e w orld , in sid e a o ven. Y ou in h ere , y o u e it h er c le anin g o r y o u g ettin g co oked . T onig ht I ju st k no w I 'm o n h ave th at d re am I 'm s tu ck in sid e a nd th e g as g ets tu rn ed o n. B ut I k eep m y h ead in th at a w fu l p la ce c ause I 'd r a th er b e a nyw here s id es a nsw erin g M is s L eefo lt 's questio ns a b out w hat M is s S keete r w as tr y in g to s a y to m e. A sk in g d o I w ant to ch ange th in gs.
Afte r w hile , M is s L eefo lt h uff a nd g o o ut to th e c arp ort. I fig ure s h e lo okin g a t w here s h e g o ne b uild me m y n ew c o lo re d b ath ro om .
ch ap te r 2 Y O U'D N EV ER K NOW I T liv in g h ere , b ut J a ck so n, M is sis sip pi, b e fille d w it h tw o h und re d t h o usa nd p eo ple s. I s e e th em n um bers in th e p ap er a nd I g o t to w ond er, w here d o th em p eo ple s l iv e? U nd erg ro und ? C ause I k no w ju st a b out e verb ody o n m y s id e a th e b rid ge a nd p le nty a w hit e f a m ilie s to o, a nd th at s u re d on't a d d u p to b e n o tw o h und re d th o usa nd .
S ix d ays a w eek , I ta k e th e b us a cro ss th e W oodro w W ils o n B rid ge to w here M is s L eefo lt a nd a ll h er w hit e fr ie nd s liv e, in a n eig hb orh o od c all B elh aven. R ig ht n ext to B elh aven b e th e d ow nto w n a nd t h e s ta te c ap it a l. C ap it o l b uild in g is r e al b ig , p re tty o n th e o uts id e b ut I n ever b een in it . I w ond er w hat th ey p ay to c le an th at p la ce.
D ow n th e r o ad fr o m B elh aven is w hit e W oodla nd H ills , th en S herw ood F ore st, w hic h is m ile s a b ig l iv e o ak s w it h th e m oss h angin g d ow n. N obody liv in g in it y et, b ut it 's th ere fo r w hen th e w hit e fo lk s i s r e ad y to m ove s o m ew here e ls e n ew . T hen it 's th e c o untr y , o ut w here M is s S keete r liv e o n th e L ongle af c o tto n p la nta tio n. S he d on't k no w it , b ut I p ic k ed c o tto n o ut th ere in 1 931, d urin g th e D ep re ssio n, w hen w e d id n't h ave n o th in g to e at b ut s ta te c heese .
S o J a ck so n's ju st o ne w hit e n eig hb orh o od a fte r th e n ext a nd m ore s p rin gin g u p d ow n th e r o ad . B ut t h e c o lo re d p art a to w n, w e o ne b ig a nth ill, s u rro und ed b y s ta te la nd th at a in 't fo r s a le . A s o ur n um bers g et b ig ger, w e c an't s p re ad o ut. O ur p art a to w n ju st g ets th ic k er.
I g et o n th e n um ber s ix b us th at a fte rn o on, w hic h g o es fr o m B elh aven to F aris h S tr e et. T he b us t o day is n o th in g b ut m aid s h ead in g h o m e in o ur w hit e u nif o rm s. W e a ll c hattin g a nd s m ilin g a t e ach o th er lik e w e o w n it - -n o t c ause w e m in d if th ey's w hit e p eo ple o n h ere , w e s it a nyw here w e w ant to n o w th ank s to M is s P ark s--ju st c ause it 's a fr ie nd ly fe elin g.
I s p ot M in ny in th e b ack c ente r s e at. M in ny s h o rt a nd b ig , g o t s h in y b la ck c urls . S he s e ttin g w it h h er l e gs s p la yed , h er th ic k a rm s c ro sse d . S he s e vente en y ears y o unger th an I a m . M in ny c o uld p ro bab ly l if t th is b us u p o ver h er h ead if s h e w ante d to . O ld la d y lik e m e's lu ck y to h ave h er a s a fr ie nd .
I ta k e th e s e at in fr o nt a h er, tu rn a ro und a nd lis te n. E verb ody lik e to lis te n to M in ny.
" . . . s o I s a id , M is s W alt e rs , th e w orld d on't w ant a s e e y o ur n ak ed w hit e b ehin d a ny m ore th an t h ey w ant a s e e m y b la ck o ne. N ow , g et in th is h o use a nd p ut y o ur u nd erp ants a nd s o m e c lo th es o n." " O n th e fr o nt p orc h? N ak ed ?" K ik i B ro w n a sk .
" H er b ehin d h angin g to h er k nees." T he b us is la ughin g a nd c huck lin g a nd s h ak in g th ey h ead s.
" L aw , th at w om an c ra zy," K ik i s a y. " I d on't k no w h o w y o u a lw ays s e em to g et th e c ra zy o nes, M in ny." " O h, lik e y o ur M is s P atte rs o n a in 't ? " M in ny s a y to K ik i. " S ho ot, s h e c all th e r o ll a th e c ra zy la d y c lu b ." T he w ho le b us b e la ughin g n o w c ause M in ny d on't lik e n o body ta lk in g b ad a b out h er w hit e l a d y e xcep t h ers e lf . T hat's h er jo b a nd s h e o w n th e r ig hts . The b us c ro ss th e b rid ge a nd m ak e th e fir s t s to p in th e c o lo re d n eig hb orh o od. A d oze n o r s o m aid s get o ff. I g o s e t in th e o pen s e at n ext to M in ny. S he s m ile , b um p m e h ello w it h h er e lb ow . T hen s h e re la x b ack in h er s e at c ause s h e d on't h ave to p ut o n n o s h o w fo r m e.
"H ow y o u d oin g? Y ou h ave to ir o n p le ats th is m orn in g?" I la ugh, n o d m y h ead . " T ook m e a h o ur a nd a h alf ." "W hat y o u fe ed M is s W alt e rs a t b rid ge c lu b to day? I w ork ed a ll m orn in g m ak in g th at fo ol a c ara m el cak e a nd th en s h e w ould n't e at a c ru m b." That m ak es m e r e m em ber w hat M is s H illy s a y a t th e ta b le to day. A ny o th er w hit e la d y a nd n o o ne would c are , b ut w e'd a ll w ant a k no w if M is s H illy a fte r u s. I ju st d on't k no w h o w to p ut it .
I lo ok o ut th e w in d ow a t th e c o lo re d h o sp it a l g o b y, th e fr u it s ta nd . " I th in k I h eard M is s H illy s a y so m eth in g a b out th at, b out h er m am a g ettin g s k in ny." I s a y th is c are fu l a s I c an. " S ay m ayb e s h e gettin g m al- n utr it io us." Min ny lo ok a t m e. " S he d id , d id s h e?" J u st th e n am e m ak e h er e yes n arro w . " W hat e ls e M is s H illy sa y?" I b ette r ju st g o o n a nd s a y it . " I th in k s h e g o t h er e ye o n y o u, M in ny. J u st . . . b e e xtr a c are fu l a ro und her." "M is s H illy o ught to b e e xtr a c are fu l a ro und me.
W hat s h e s a y, I c an't c o ok? S he s a y th at o ld b ag a bones a in 't e atin g c ause I c an't fe ed h er? " M in ny s ta nd u p , th ro w h er p urs e u p o n h er a rm .
"I'm s o rry , M in ny, I o nly to ld y o u s o y o u s ta y o ut a h er- -" "S he e ver s a y th at to m e, s h e g o ne g et a p ie ce a M in ny fo r lu nch." S he h uff d ow n th e s te p s.
I w atc h h er th ro ugh th e w in d ow , s to m pin g o ff to w ard h er h o use . M is s H illy a in 't s o m eb ody to m ess wit h . L aw , m ayb e I s h o uld a ju st k ep t it to m yse lf .
A C O UPLE M ORN IN GS L ATER , I g et o ff th e b us, w alk th e b lo ck to M is s L eefo lt 's h o use .
Park ed in fr o nt is a o ld lu m ber tr u ck . T hey's tw o c o lo re d m ens in sid e, o ne d rin k in g a c up a c o ffe e, th e o th er a sle ep s e ttin g s tr a ig ht u p . I g o o n p ast, in to th e k it c hen.
Mis te r R ale ig h L eefo lt s till a t h o m e th is m orn in g, w hic h is r a re . W henever h e h ere , h e lo ok lik e h e ju st c o untin g th e m in ute s till h e g et to g o b ack to h is a cco untin g jo b. E ven o n S atu rd ay. B ut to day h e carry in g o n b out s o m eth in g.
"T his is m y d am n h o use a nd I p ay fo r w hat g o ddam n g o es in it ! " M is te r L eefo lt y ell. Mis s L eefo lt tr y in g to k eep u p b ehin d h im w it h th at s m ile th at m ean s h e a in 't h ap py. I h id e o ut in th e wash ro om . I t's b een tw o d ays s in ce th e b ath ro om ta lk c o m e u p a nd I w as h o pin g it w as o ver.
Mis te r L eefo lt o pens th e b ack d oor to lo ok a t th e tr u ck s e ttin g th ere , s la m it b ack c lo se a gain .
"I p ut u p w it h th e n ew c lo th es, a ll th e d am n tr ip s to N ew O rle ans w it h y o ur s o ro rit y s is te rs , b ut th is ta k es th e g o ddam n c ak e." "B ut it 'll in cre ase th e v alu e o f th e h o use . H illy s a id s o !" I 'm s till in th e w ash ro om , b ut I c an a lm ost hear M is s L eefo lt tr y in g to k eep th at s m ile o n h er fa ce.
"W e c an't a ffo rd it ! A nd w e d o n o t ta k e o rd ers fr o m th e H olb ro oks!" Everth in g g et r e al q uie t fo r a m in ute . T hen I h ear th e pap-p ap a lit tle fe etu m p aja m as.
"D a-d ee?" I c o m e o ut th e w ash ro om a nd in to th e k it c hen th en c ause M ae M oble y's m y b usin ess.
Mis te r L eefo lt a lr e ad y k neelin g d ow n to h er. H e's w earin g a s m ile lo ok lik e it 's m ad e o ut a r u b ber.
"G uess w hat, h o ney?" She s m ile b ack . S he w ait in g fo r a g o od s u rp ris e .
"Y ou'r e n o t g o in g to c o lle ge s o y o ur m am a's fr ie nd s d on't h ave to u se th e s a m e b ath ro om a s th e maid ." He s to m p o ff a nd s la m th e d oor s o h ard it m ak e B ab y G ir l b lin k .
Mis s L eefo lt lo ok d ow n a t h er, s ta rt s h ak in g h er fin ger. " M ae M oble y, y o u k no w y o u'r e n o t su p pose d to c lim b u p o ut o f y o ur c rib !" Bab y G ir l, s h e lo okin g a t th e d oor h er d ad dy s la m med , s h e lo okin g a t h er m am a fr o w nin g d ow n a t her. M y b ab y, s h e s w allo w in g it b ack , lik e s h e tr y in g r e al h ard n o t to c ry .
I r u sh p ast M is s L eefo lt , p ic k B ab y G ir l u p . I w his p er, " L et's g o o n in th e liv in g r o om a nd p la y w it h th e ta lk in g to y. W hat th at d onk ey s a y?" "S he k eep s g ettin g u p . I p ut h er b ack in b ed th re e tim es th is m orn in g." "C ause s o m eb ody n eed s c hangin g. W ho ooow eeee." Mis s L eefo lt tis k , s a y, " W ell I d id n't r e aliz e . . ." b ut s h e a lr e ad y s ta rin g o ut th e w in d ow a t th e lu m ber tr u ck .
I g o o n to th e b ack , s o m ad I 'm s to m pin g. B ab y G ir l b een in th at b ed s in ce e ig ht o 'c lo ck la st n ig ht, a co urs e s h e n eed c hangin g! M is s L eefo lt tr y to s it in tw elv e h o urs w orth a b ath ro om m ess w it h o ut gettin g u p !
I la y B ab y G ir l o n th e c hangin g ta b le , tr y to k eep m y m ad in sid e. B ab y G ir l s ta re u p a t m e w hile I ta k e o ff h er d ia p er. T hen s h e r e ach o ut h er lit tle h and . S he to uch m y m outh r e al s o ft.
"M ae M o b een b ad ," s h e s a y.
"N o, b ab y, y o u a in 't b een b ad ," I s a y, s m ooth in g h er h air b ack . " Y ou b een g o od. R eal g o od." I L IV E O n G ESSU M A V EN UE, w here I b een r e ntin g s in ce 1 942. Y ou c o uld s a y G essu m g o t a lo t a p ers o nalit y . T he h o use s a ll b e s m all, b ut e very fr o nt y ard 's d if fe re nt- -so m e s c ru b by a nd g ra ssle ss lik e a b ald -h ead ed o ld m an. O th ers g o t a za le a b ush es a nd r o se s a nd th ic k g re en g ra ss. M y y ard , I re ck on it b e s o m ew here in b etw een.
I g o t a fe w r e d c am ellia b ush es o ut fr o nt a th e h o use . M y g ra ss b e k in d a s p otty a nd I s till g o t a b ig yello w m ark w here T re elo re 's p ic k up s a t fo r th re e m onth s a fte r th e a ccid ent. I a in 't g o t n o tr e es. B ut th e b ack yard , n o w it lo oks lik e th e G ard en o f E den. T hat's w here m y n ext- d oor n eig hb or, I d a P eek , go t h er v egeta b le p atc h.
Id a a in 't g o t n o b ack yard to s p eak o f w hat w it h a ll h er h usb and 's ju nk --c ar e ngin es a nd o ld re fr ig era to rs a nd tir e s. S tu ff h e s a y h e g o ne fix b ut n ever d o. S o I te ll I d a s h e c o m e p la nt o n m y s id e.
That w ay I d on't h ave n o m ow in g to te nd to a nd s h e le t m e p ic k w hate ver I n eed , s a ve m e tw o o r th re e d olla rs e ver w eek . S he p ut u p w hat w e d on't e at, g iv e m e ja rs fo r th e w in te r s e aso n. G ood tu rn ip g re ens, e ggp la nt, o kra b y th e b ush el, a ll k in d a g o urd s. I d on't k no w h o w s h e k eep th em b ugs out a h er to m ato es, b ut s h e d o. A nd th ey g o od.
That e venin g, it 's r a in in g h ard o uts id e. I p ull o ut a ja r a I d a P eek 's c ab bage a nd to m ato , e at m y la st slic e a le fto ver c o rn b re ad . T hen I s e t d ow n to lo ok o ver m y fin ances c ause tw o th in gs d one h ap pen:
th e b us g o ne u p to fif te en c ents a r id e a nd m y r e nt g o ne u p to tw enty -n in e d olla rs a m onth . I w ork fo r M is s L eefo lt e ig ht to fo ur, s ix d ays a w eek e xcep t S atu rd ays. I g et p aid fo rty -th re e d olla rs e ver Frid ay, w hic h c o m e to $ 172 a m onth . T hat m eans a fte r I p ay th e lig ht b ill, th e w ate r b ill, th e g as b ill, and th e te le p ho ne b ill, I g o t th ir te en d olla rs a nd fif ty c ents a w eek le ft fo r m y g ro cerie s, m y c lo th es, gettin g m y h air d one, a nd tit h in g to th e c hurc h. N ot to m entio n th e c o st to m ail th ese b ills d one g o ne up to a n ic k el. A nd m y w ork s h o es is s o th in , th ey lo ok lik e th ey s ta rv in g to d eath . N ew p air c o st se ven d olla rs th o ugh, w hic h m eans I 'm o n b e e atin g c ab bage a nd to m ato till I tu rn in to B r'e r R ab bit .
Thank th e L ord fo r I d a P eek , e ls e I b e e atin g n o th in g.
My p ho ne r in g, m ak in g m e ju m p. B efo re I c an e ven s a y h ello , I h ear M in ny. S he w ork in g la te to nig ht.
"M is s H illy s e nd in g M is s W alt e rs to th e o ld la d y h o m e. I g o t to fin d m yse lf a n ew jo b. A nd y o u kno w w hen s h e g o in g? N ext week .
" "O h no , M in ny." "I b een lo okin g, c all te n la d ie s to day. N ot e ven a s p eck a in te re st." I a m s o rry to s a y I a in 't s u rp ris e d . " I a sk M is s L eefo lt fir s t th in g to m orro w d o s h e k no w a nyb ody need h elp ." "H ang o n," M in ny s a y. I h ear o ld M is s W alt e r ta lk in g a nd M in ny s a y, " W hat y o u th in k I a m ? A chauffe ur? I a in 't d riv in g y o u to n o c o untr y c lu b in th e p ourin g r a in ." Sid es s te alin g, w ors e th in g y o u'n d o fo r y o ur c are er a s a m aid is h ave a s m art m outh . S till, s h e s u ch a g o od c o ok, s o m etim es it m ak es u p fo r it .
"D on't y o u w orry , M in ny. W e g o ne fin d y o u s o m eb ody d eaf a s a d oe-k no b, ju st lik e M is s W alt e r." "M is s H illy b een h in tin g a ro und fo r m e to c o m e w ork fo r h er." "W hat? " I ta lk s te rn a s I c an: " N ow y o u lo ok a h ere , M in ny, I s u p port y o u m yse lf fo re I le t y o u work fo r th at e vil la d y." "W ho y o u th in k y o u ta lk in g to , A ib ile en? A m onk ey? I m ig ht a s w ell g o w ork fo r th e K KK. A nd yo u k no w I n ever ta k e Y ule M ay's jo b a w ay." "I'm s o rry , L ord y m e." I ju st g et s o n erv o us w hen it c o m e to M is s H illy . " I c all M is s C aro lin e o ver o n Honeysu ck le , s e e if s h e k no w s o m eb ody. A nd I c all M is s R uth , s h e s o n ic e it n ear b out b re ak y o ur heart. U se d to c le an u p th e h o use e ver m orn in g s o I d id n't h ave n o th in g to d o b ut k eep h er co m pany. H er h usb and d ie d a th e s c arle t fe ver, m m-h m m." "T hank y o u, A . N ow c o m e o n, M is s W alt e rs , e at u p a lit tle g re en b ean fo r m e." M in ny s a y g o odbye and h ang u p th e p ho ne.
TH E N EX T M ORN IN G, th ere th at o ld g re en lu m ber tr u ck is a gain . B angin g's a lr e ad y s ta rte d b ut Mis te r L eefo lt a in 't s to m pin g a ro und to day. I g uess h e k no w h e d one lo st th is o ne b efo re it e ven sta rte d .
Mis s L eefo lt s e ttin g a t th e k it c hen ta b le in h er b lu e-q uilt b ath ro be ta lk in g o n th e te le p ho ne. B ab y Gir l's g o t r e d s tic k y a ll o ver h er fa ce, h angin g o n to h er m am a's k nees tr y in g to g et h er lo ok a t h er.
"M orn in g, B ab y G ir l, " I s a y.
"M am a! M am a!" s h e s a y, tr y in g to c ra w l u p in M is s L eefo lt 's la p .
"N o, M ae M oble y." M is s L eefo lt n ud ge h er d ow n. " M am a's o n th e te le p ho ne. L et M am a ta lk ." "M am a, p ic k u p ," M ae M oble y w hin e a nd r e ach o ut h er a rm s to h er m am a. " P ic k M ae M o u p ." "H ush ," M is s L eefo lt w his p er.
I s c o op B ab y G ir l u p r ig ht q uic k a nd ta k e h er o ver to th e s in k , b ut s h e k eep c ra nin g h er n eck aro und , w hin in g, " M am a, Mam a ," tr y in g to g et h er a tte ntio n.
"J u st lik e y o u to ld m e to s a y it ." M is s L eefo lt n o ddin g in to th e p ho ne. " S om ed ay w hen w e m ove, it 'll ra is e th e v alu e o f th e h o use ." "C om e o n, B ab y G ir l. P ut y o ur h and s h ere , u nd er th e w ate r." But B ab y G ir l w rig glin g h ard . I 'm tr y in g to g et th e s o ap o n h er fin gers b ut s h e tw is tin g a nd tu rn in g and s h e s n ak e r ig ht o ut m y a rm s. S he r u n s tr a ig ht to h er m am a a nd s tic k o ut h er c hin a nd th en s h e je rk th e p ho ne c o rd h ard a s s h e c an. T he r e ceiv er c la tte r o ut a M is s L eefo lt 's h and a nd h it th e flo or.
"M ae M oble y!" I s a y.
I r u sh to g et h er b ut M is s L eefo lt g et th ere fir s t. H er lip s is c urle d b ack fr o m h er te eth in a s c ary sm ile . M is s L eefo lt s la p B ab y G ir l o n th e b ack a h er b are le gs s o h ard I ju m p fr o m th e s tin g.
Then M is s L eefo lt g ra b M ae M oble y b y th e a rm , je rk it h ard w it h e ver w ord . " D on't y o u to uch th is pho ne a gain , M ae M oble y!" s h e s a y. " A ib ile en, h o w m any tim es d o I h ave to te ll y o u to k eep h er aw ay fr o m m e w hen I a m o n th e p ho ne!" "I'm s o rry ," I s a y a nd I p ic k u p M ae M oble y, tr y to h ug h er to m e, b ut s h e b aw lin g a nd h er fa ce is re d a nd s h e fig htin g m e.
"C om e o n, B ab y G ir l, it 's a ll r ig ht, e verth in g--" Mae M oble y m ak e a n u gly fa ce a t m e a nd th en s h e r e ar b ack a nd bow p ! S he w hack m e r ig ht o n th e e ar.
Mis s L eefo lt p oin t a t th e d oor, y ell, " A ib ile en, y o u b oth ju st g et out ." I c arry h er o ut th e k it c hen. I 'm s o m ad a t M is s L eefo lt , I 'm b it in g m y to ngue. I f th e fo ol w ould ju st pay h er c hild s o m e a tte ntio n, th is w ould n't h ap pen! W hen w e m ak e it to M ae M oble y's r o om , I s e t in th e r o ck in g c hair . S he s o b o n m y s h o uld er a nd I r u b h er b ack , g la d s h e c an't s e e th e m ad o n m y fa ce. I d on't w ant h er to th in k it 's a t h er.
"Y ou o kay, B ab y G ir l? " I w his p er. M y e ar s m artin g fr o m h er lit tle fis t. I 'm s o g la d s h e h it m e in ste ad a h er m am a, c ause I d on't k no w w hat th at w om an w ould a d one to h er. I lo ok d ow n a nd s e e r e d fin germ ark s o n th e b ack a h er le gs.
"I'm h ere , b ab y, A ib ee's h ere ," I r o ck a nd s o oth e, r o ck a nd s o oth e.
But B ab y G ir l, s h e ju st c ry a nd c ry .
ARO UN D L U N CHTIM E, w hen m y s to rie s c o m e o n te e-v ee, it g ets q uie t o ut in th e c arp ort. M ae Moble y's in m y la p h elp in g m e s tr in g th e b eans. S he s till k in d a fu ssy fr o m th is m orn in g. I r e ck on I am to o, b ut I d one p ush ed it d ow n to a p la ce w here I d on't h ave to w orry w it h it .
We g o in th e k it c hen a nd I fix h er b alo ney s a nd w ic h. I n th e d riv ew ay, th e w ork m en is s e ttin g in th ey tr u ck , e atin g th ey o w n lu nches. I 'm g la d fo r th e p eace. I s m ile o ver a t B ab y G ir l, g iv e h er a str a w berry , s o g ra te fu l I w as h ere d urin g th e tr o ub le w it h h er m am a. I h ate to th in k w hat w ould a hap pen if I w asn 't . S he s tu ff th e s tr a w berry in h er m outh , s m ile b ack . I th in k s h e fe el it to o.
Mis s L eefo lt a in 't h ere s o I th in k a b out c allin g M in ny a t M is s W alt e r, s e e if s h e fo und a ny w ork y et.
But b efo re I g et a ro und to it , th ey's a k no ck o n th e b ack d oor. I o pen it to s e e o ne a th e w ork m en sta nd in g th ere . H e r e al o ld . G ot c o vera lls o n o ver a w hit e c o lla r s h ir t.
"H id ee, m a'a m . T ro ub le y o u fo r s o m e w ate r? " h e a sk . I d on't r e co gniz e h im . M ust liv e s o m ew here so uth a to w n.
"S ho n uff," I s a y.
I g o g et a p ap er c up fr o m th e c up board . I t's g o t h ap py b ir th d ay b allo ons o n it fr o m w hen M ae Moble y tu rn tw o. I k no w M is s L eefo lt d on't w ant m e g iv in g h im o ne a th e g la sse s.
He d rin k it in o ne lo ng s w allo w a nd h and m e th e c up b ack . H is fa ce b e r e al tir e d . K in d a lo neso m e in th e e yes.
"H ow y 'a ll c o m in g a lo ng?" I a sk .
"It's w ork ," h e s a y. " S till a in 't n o w ate r to it . R eck on w e r u n a p ip e o ut y o nd er fr o m th e r o ad ." "O th er fe lla n eed a d rin k ?" I a sk .
"B e m ig hty n ic e." H e n o d a nd I g o g et h is fr ie nd a lit tle fu nny-lo okin g c up to o, fill it u p fr o m th e s in k .
He d on't ta k e it to h is p artn er r ig ht a w ay.
"B eg a p ard on," h e s a y, " b ut w here . . ." H e s ta nd th ere a m in ute , lo ok d ow n a t h is fe et. " W here mig ht I g o to m ak e w ate r? " He lo ok u p a nd I lo ok a t h im a nd fo r a m in ute w e ju st b e lo okin g. I m ean, it 's o ne a th em fu nny th in gs. N ot th e h a-h a fu nny b ut th e fu nny w here y o u b e th in k in g: H uh. H ere w e is w it h tw o in th e ho use a nd o ne b ein g b uilt a nd th ey s till a in 't n o p la ce fo r th is m an to d o h is b usin ess.
"W ell . . ." I a in 't n ever b een in th is p osit io n b efo re . T he y o ung'u n, R obert, w ho d o th e y ard e ver tw o week s, I g uess h e g o fo re h e c o m e o ver. B ut th is fe lla , h e a o ld m an. G ot h eavy w rin k le d h and s.
Seventy y ears a w orry d one p ut s o m any lin es in h is fa ce, h e lik e a r o ad m ap .
"I s p ec y o u g o ne h ave to g o in th e b ush es, b ack a th e h o use ," I h ear m yse lf s a y, b ut I w is h it w ere n't me. " D og's b ack th ere , b ut h e w on't b oth er y o u." "A lr ig ht th en," h e s a y. " T hank y a." I w atc h h im w alk b ack r e al s lo w w it h th e c up a w ate r fo r h is p artn er.
The b angin g a nd th e d ig gin g g o o n th e r e st a th e a fte rn o on. All T H E N EX T D AY L O NG, th ey's h am merin g a nd d ig gin g g o in g o n in th e fr o nt y ard . I d on't a sk Mis s L eefo lt n o q uestio ns a b out it a nd M is s L eefo lt d on't o ffe r n o e xp la natio n. S he ju st p eer o ut th e back d oor e ver h o ur to s e e w hat's g o in g o n.
Thre e o 'c lo ck th e r a ck et s to ps a nd th e m ens g et in th ey tr u ck a nd le ave. M is s L eefo lt , s h e w atc h e m driv e o ff, le t o ut a b ig s ig h. T hen s h e g et in h er c ar a nd g o d o w hate ver it is s h e d o w hen s h e a in 't nerv o us b out a c o up le a c o lo re d m ens h angin g r o und h er h o use .
Afte r w hile , th e p ho ne r in g.
"M is s L eef- -" "S he te llin g e verb ody in to w n I 'm s te alin g! T hat's w hy I c an't g et n o w ork ! T hat w it c h d one tu rn ed me in to th e S m art- M outh ed C rim in al M aid a H in d s C ounty !" "H old o n, M in ny, g et y o ur b re ath --" "B efo re w ork th is m orn in g, I g o to th e R enfr o es' o ver o n S ycam ore a nd M is s R enfr o e n ear b out chase m e o ff th e p ro perty . S ay M is s H illy to ld h er a b out m e, e verb ody k no w I s to le a c and ela b ra fr o m M is s W alt e rs !" I c an h ear th e g rip s h e g o t o n th e p ho ne, s o und lik e s h e tr y in g to c ru sh it in h er h and . I h ear K in d ra ho lle r a nd I w ond er w hy M in ny a lr e ad y h o m e. S he u su ally d on't le ave w ork till fo ur.
"I a in 't d one n o th in g b ut fe ed th at o ld w om an g o od fo od a nd lo ok a fte r h er!" "M in ny, I k no w y o u h o nest. G od k no w y o u h o nest." Her v o ic e d ip d ow n, lik e b ees o n a c o m b. " W hen I w alk in to M is s W alt e rs ', M is s H illy b e th ere a nd sh e tr y to g iv e m e tw enty d olla rs . S he s a y, 'T ak e it . I k no w y o u n eed it ,' a nd I b out s p it in h er fa ce.
But I d id n't . N o s ir ." S he s ta rt m ak in g th is p antin g n o is e , s h e s a y, " I d id worse ." "W hat y o u d id ?" "I a in 't te llin g. I a in 't te llin g n o body a b out th at p ie . B ut I g iv e h er w hat s h e d ese rv e!" S he w ailin g n o w and I fe el a r e al c o ld fe ar. A in 't n o g am e c ro ssin g M is s H illy . " I a in 't n ever g o ne g et n o w ork a gain , Lero y g o ne k ill m e . . ." Kin d ra g ets to c ry in g in th e b ack gro und . M in ny h ang u p w it h o ut e ven s a yin g g o odbye. I d on't k no w what s h e ta lk in g a b out a p ie . B ut L aw , k no w in g M in ny, it c o uld n o t h ave b een g o od.
TH AT N IG HT, I p ic k m e a p oke s a la d a nd a to m ato o ut a I d a's g ard en. I fr y u p s o m e h am , m ak e a lit tle g ra vy fo r m y b is c uit . M y w ig b een b ru sh ed o ut a nd p ut u p , g o t m y p in k r o lle rs in , a lr e ad y sp ra yed th e G ood N uff o n m y h air . I b een w orrie d a ll a fte rn o on, th in k in g b out M in ny. I g o t to p ut it out a m y m in d if I 'm o n g et s o m e s le ep to nig ht.
I s e t a t m y ta b le to e at, tu rn o n th e k it c hen r a d io . L it tle S te vie W ond er's s in gin g " F in gertip s." B ein g co lo re d a in 't n o th in g o n th at b oy. H e tw elv e y ears o ld , b lin d , a nd g o t a h it o n th e r a d io . W hen h e done, I s k ip o ver P asto r G re en p la yin g h is s e rm on a nd s to p o n W BLA . T hey p la y th e ju k e jo in t blu es.
I lik e th em s m oky, liq uo r- d rin k in g s o und s w hen it g et d ark . M ak es m e fe el lik e m y w ho le h o use is fu ll a p eo ple . I c an a lm ost s e e e m , s w ayin g h ere in m y k it c hen, d ancin g to th e b lu es. W hen I tu rn o ff th e c eilin g lig ht, I p re te nd w e a t T he R aven. T hey's lit tle ta b le s w it h r e d -c o vere d lig hts . I t's M ay o r Ju ne a nd w arm . M y m an C ly d e fla sh m e h is w hit e -to oth ed s m ile a nd s a y Honey, y o u w ant y o u a drin k?
A nd I s a y, Bla ck M ary s tr a ig ht u p a nd th en I g et to la ughin g a t m yse lf , s e ttin g in m y k it c hen havin g th is d ayd re am , c ause th e r a cie st th in g I e ver ta k e is th e p urp le N ehi.
Mem phis M in ny g et to s in gin g o n th e r a d io h o w le an m eat w on't fr y , w hic h is a b out h o w th e lo ve don't la st. T im e to tim e, I th in k I m ig ht fin d m yse lf a no th er m an, o ne fr o m m y c hurc h. P ro ble m is , much a s I lo ve th e L ord , c hurc h-g o in g m an n ever d o a ll th at m uch fo r m e. K in d a m an I lik e a in 't th e kin d th at s ta ys a ro und w hen h e d one s p end in g a ll y o u m oney. I m ad e th at m is ta k e tw enty y ears a go .
When m y h usb and C ly d e le ft m e fo r th at n o -c o unt h ussy u p o n F aris h S tr e et, o ne th ey c all C oco a, I fig ure d I b ette r s h ut th e d oor fo r g o od o n th at k in d a b usin ess.
A c at g et to s c re echin g o uts id e a nd b rin g m e b ack to m y c o ld k it c hen. I tu rn th e r a d io o ff a nd th e lig ht b ack o n, fis h m y p ra yer b ook o ut m y p urs e . M y p ra yer b ook is ju st a b lu e n o te p ad I p ic k u p a t th e B en F ra nk lin s to re . I u se a p encil s o I c an e ra se till I g et it r ig ht. I b een w rit in g m y p ra yers s in ce I was in ju nio r h ig h. W hen I te ll m y s e venth -g ra d e te acher I a in 't c o m in g b ack to s c ho ol c ause I g o t to help o ut m y m am a, M is s R oss ju st a b out c rie d .
"Y ou'r e th e s m arte st o ne in th e c la ss, A ib ile en," s h e s a y. " A nd th e o nly w ay y o u'r e g o in g to k eep sh arp is to r e ad and w rit e e very d ay." So I s ta rte d w rit in g m y p ra yers d ow n in ste ad a s a yin g e m . B ut n o body's c alle d m e s m art s in ce.
I tu rn th e p ages a m y p ra yer b ook to s e e w ho I g o t to nig ht. A fe w tim es th is w eek , I th o ught a b out mayb e p uttin g M is s S keete r o n m y lis t. I 'm n o t r e al s u re w hy. S he a lw ays n ic e w hen s h e c o m e o ver.
It m ak es m e n erv o us, b ut I c an't h elp b ut w ond er w hat s h e w as g o ne a sk m e in M is s L eefo lt 's kit c hen, a b out d o I w ant to c hange th in gs. N ot to m entio n h er a sk in g m e th e w here ab outs a Consta ntin e, h er m aid g ro w in g u p . I k no w w hat h ap pen b etw een C onsta ntin e a nd M is s S keete r's mam a a nd a in 't n o w ay I 'm o n te ll h er th at s to ry .
The th in g is th o ugh, if I s ta rt p ra yin g fo r M is s S keete r, I k no w th at c o nvers a tio n g o ne c o ntin ue th e next tim e I s e e h er. A nd th e n ext a nd th e n ext. C ause th at's th e w ay p ra yer d o. I t's lik e e le ctr ic it y , it keep s th in gs g o in g. A nd th e b ath ro om s it u atio n, it ju st a in 't s o m eth in g I r e ally w ant to d is c uss. I s c an d ow n m y p ra yer lis t. M y M ae M oble y g o t th e n um ber o ne r u ng, th en th ey's F anny L ou a t churc h, a ilin g fr o m th e r h eum atis m . M y s is te rs I n ez a nd M ab le in P ort G ib so n th at g o t e ig hte en k id s betw een e m a nd s ix w it h th e flu . W hen th e lis t b e th in , I s lip in th at o ld s tin k y w hit e fe lla th at liv e behin d th e fe ed s to re , th e o ne lo st h is m in d fr o m d rin k in g th e s h o e p olis h . B ut th e lis t b e p re tty fu ll to nig ht.
And lo ok a th ere w ho e ls e I d one p ut o n th is lis t. B ertr in a B esse m er a a ll p eo ple ! E verb ody k no w Bertr in a a nd m e d on't ta k e to e ach o th er e ver s in ce s h e c all m e a n ig ga fo ol fo r m arry in g C ly d e um pte en y ears a go .
"M in ny," I s a y la st S und ay, " w hy B ertr in a a sk me to p ra y fo r h er? " We w alk in g h o m e fr o m th e o ne o 'c lo ck s e rv ic e. M in ny s a y, " R um or is y o u g o t s o m e k in d a p ow er pra yer, g ets b ette r r e su lt s th an ju st th e r e gula r v arie ty ." "S ay w hat? " "E ud ora G re en, w hen s h e b ro ke h er h ip , w ent o n y o ur lis t, u p w alk in g in a w eek . I s a ia h fe ll o ff th e co tto n tr u ck , o n y o ur p ra yer lis t th at n ig ht, b ack to w ork th e n ext d ay." Hearin g th is m ad e m e th in k a b out h o w I d id n't e ven g et th e c hance to p ra y fo r T re elo re . M ayb e th at's w hy G od to ok h im s o fa st. H e d id n't w ant a h ave to a rg ue w it h m e.
"S nuff W ash in gto n," M in ny s a y, " L olly J a ck so n--h eck , L olly g o o n y o ur lis t a nd tw o d ays la te r s h e pop u p fr o m h er w heelc hair lik e s h e to uched J e su s. E verb ody in H in d s C ounty k no w a b out th at one." "B ut th at a in 't m e," I s a y. " T hat's ju st p ra yer." "B ut B ertr in a--" M in ny g et to la ughin g, s a y, " Y ou k no w C oco a, th e o ne C ly d e r u n o ff w it h ?" "P hhh. Y ou k no w I n ever fo rg et h er." "W eek a fte r C ly d e le ft y o u, I h eard th at C oco a w ak e u p to h er c o otc hie s p oilt lik e a r o tte n o yste r.
Did n't g et b ette r fo r th re e m onth s. B ertr in a, s h e g o od fr ie nd s w it h C oco a. S he know y o ur p ra yer work s." My m outh d ro p o pen. W hy s h e n ever te ll m e th is b efo re ? " Y ou s a yin g p eo ple th in k I g o t th e b la ck magic ?" "I k new it m ak e y o u w orry if I to ld y o u. T hey ju st th in k y o u g o t a b ette r c o nnectio n th an m ost. W e all o n a p arty lin e to G od, b ut y o u, y o u s e ttin g r ig ht in h is e ar." My te ap ot s ta rt fu ssin g o n th e s to ve, b rin gin g m e b ack to r e al lif e . L aw , I r e ck on I ju st g o a head a nd put M is s S keete r o n th e lis t, b ut h o w c o m e, I d on't k no w . W hic h r e m in d s m e a w hat I d on't w ant a th in k a b out, th at M is s L eefo lt 's b uild in g m e a b ath ro om c ause s h e th in k I 'm d is e ase d . A nd M is s Skeete r a sk in g d on't I w ant to c hange th in gs, lik e c hangin g J a ck so n, M is sis sip pi, g o ne b e lik e changin g a lig htb ulb . I'm S TR IN GIN G B EA N S in M is s L eefo lt 's k it c hen a nd th e p ho ne r in gs. I 'm h o pin g it 's M in ny to sa y s h e fo und s o m eth in g. I d one c alle d e verb ody I e ver w ait e d o n a nd th ey a ll to ld m e th e s a m e th in g: " W e a in 't h ir in g." B ut w hat th ey r e ally m ean is : " W e a in 't h ir in g Min ny ." Even th o ugh M in ny a lr e ad y h ad h er la st d ay a w ork th re e d ays a go , M is s W alt e r c all M in ny in s e cre t la st n ig ht, a sk h er to c o m e in to day c ause th e h o use fe el to o e m pty , w hat w it h m ost th e fu rn it u re alr e ad y ta k en a w ay b y M is s H illy . I s till d on't k no w w hat h ap pen w it h M in ny a nd M is s H illy . I re ck on I d on't r e ally w ant to k no w .
"L eefo lt r e sid ence." "U m, h i. T his is . . ." T he la d y s to p, c le ar h er th ro at. " H ello . M ay I . . . m ay I p le ase s p eak to Eliz a b eth L eer- fo lt ? " "M is s L eefo lt a in 't h o m e r ig ht n o w . M ay I ta k e a m essa ge?" "O h," s h e s a y, lik e s h e g o t a ll e xcit e d o ver n o th in g.
"M ay I a sk w ho c allin g?" "T his is . . . C elia F oote . M y h usb and g ave m e th is n um ber h ere a nd I d on't k no w E liz a b eth , b ut . . .
well, h e s a id s h e k no w s a ll a b out th e C hild re n's B enefit a nd th e L ad ie s L eague." I k no w th is n am e, but I c an't q uit e p la ce it . T his w om an ta lk lik e s h e fr o m s o d eep in th e c o untr y s h e g o t c o rn g ro w in g in h er s h o es. H er v o ic e is s w eet th o ugh, h ig h-p it c h. S till, s h e d on't s o und lik e th e la d ie s r o und h ere do.
"I g iv e h er y o ur m essa ge," I s a y. " W hat's y o ur n um ber? " "I'm k in d o f n ew h ere a nd , w ell, th at's n o t tr u e, I 'v e b een h ere a p re tty g o od s tr e tc h, g o sh , o ver a year n o w . I ju st d on't r e ally k no w a nyb ody. I d on't . . . g et o ut to o m uch." She c le ar h er th ro at a gain a nd I 'm w ond erin g w hy s h e te llin g m e a ll th is . I 'm th e m aid , s h e a in 't g o ne win n o fr ie nd s ta lk in g to m e.
"I w as th in k in g m ayb e I c o uld h elp o ut w it h th e C hild re n's B enefit fr o m h o m e," s h e s a y.
I r e m em ber th en w ho s h e is . S he th e o ne M is s H illy a nd M is s L eefo lt a lw ays ta lk in g tr a sh o n c ause sh e m arry M is s H illy 's o ld b oyfr ie nd .
"I g iv e h er th e m essa ge. W hat y o u s a y y o ur n um ber is a gain ?" "O h, b ut I 'm fix in g to s c o ot o ff to th e g ro cery s to re . O h, m ayb e I s h o uld s it a nd w ait ." "S he d on't r e ach y o u, s h e le ave a m essa ge w it h y o ur h elp ." "I d on't h ave a ny h elp . I n fa ct, I w as p la nnin g o n a sk in g h er a b out th at to o, if s h e c o uld p ass a lo ng th e n am e o f s o m eb ody g o od." "Y ou lo okin g fo r h elp ?" "I'm in a s tit c h tr y in g to fin d s o m eb ody to c o m e a ll th e w ay o ut to M ad is o n C ounty ." Well, w hat d o y o u k no w . " I k no w s o m eb ody r e al g o od. S he k no w n fo r h er c o okin g a nd s h e lo ok afte r y o u k id s to o. S he e ven g o t h er o w n c ar to d riv e o ut to y o u h o use ." "O h, w ell . . . I 'd s till lik e to ta lk to E liz a b eth a b out it . D id I a lr e ad y te ll y o u m y n um ber? " "N o m a'a m ," I s ig h. " G o h ead ." M is s L eefo lt n ever g o ne r e co m mend M in ny, n o t w it h a ll a M is s Hilly 's lie s.
She s a y, " It's M is su s J o hnny F oote a nd it 's E m ers o n tw o-six ty -six -o h-n in e." Ju st in c ase I s a y, " A nd h er n am e is M in ny, s h e a t L ak ew ood e ig ht- fo ur- fo ur- th re e-tw o. Y ou g o t th at? " Bab y G ir l tu g o n m y d re ss, s a y, " T um -m y h urt," a nd s h e r u b bin g h er b elly .
I g et a n id ea. I s a y, " H old o n, w hat's th at M is s L eefo lt ? U h-h uh, I te ll h er." I p ut th e p ho ne b ack to my m outh a nd s a y, " M is s C elia , M is s L eefo lt ju st w alk in a nd s h e s a y s h e a in 't fe elin g g o od b ut fo r yo u to g o o n a nd c all M in ny. S he s a y s h e c all y o u if s h e b e n eed in g h elp w it h th e B enefit ." "O h! T ell h er I s a id th ank y o u. A nd I s u re d o h o pe s h e g ets to fe elin g b ette r. A nd to c all m e u p anytim e." "T hat's M in ny J a ck so n a t L ak ew ood e ig ht- fo ur- fo ur- th re e-tw o. H ang o n, w hat's th at? " I g et a co okie a nd g iv e it to M ae M oble y, fe el n o th in g b ut d elig ht a t th e d evil in m e. I a m ly in g a nd I d on't even c are .
I te ll M is s C elia F oote , " S he s a y d on't te ll n o body b out h er tip o n M in ny, c ause a ll h er fr ie nd s w ant a hir e h er a nd th ey b e r e al u p se t if th ey fin d o ut s h e g iv e h er to s o m eb ody e ls e ." "I w on't te ll h er s e cre t if s h e w on't te ll m in e. I d on't w ant m y h usb and to k no w I 'm h ir in g a m aid ." Well, if th at a in 't p erfe ct th en I d on't k no w w hat is .
Soon a s w e h ang u p , I d ia l M in ny q uic k a s I c an. B ut ju st a s I d o, M is s L eefo lt w alk in th e d oor.
This a r e al p re d ic am ent, s e e. I g ave th is M is s C elia w om an M in ny's n um ber a t h o m e, b ut M in ny work in g to day c ause M is s W alt e r lo nely . S o w hen s h e c all, L ero y g o ne g iv e h er M is s W alt e r n um ber cause h e a fo ol. I f M is s W alt e r a nsw er th e p ho ne w hen M is s C elia c all, th en th e w ho le jig is u p .
Mis s W alt e r g o ne te ll th is w om an e verth in g M is s H illy b een s p re ad in g a ro und . I g o t to g et to M in ny or L ero y b efo re a ll th is h ap pen. Mis s L eefo lt h ead b ack to h er b ed ro om a nd , ju st lik e I fig ure d , th e fir s t th in g s h e d o is tie u p th e pho ne. F ir s t s h e c all M is s H illy . T hen s h e c all th e h air d re sse r. T hen s h e c all th e s to re a b out a wed din g p re se nt, ta lk in g, ta lk in g, ta lk in g. S oon a s s h e h ang u p , s h e c o m e o ut a nd a sk w hat th ey havin g fo r s u p per th is w eek . I p ull o ut th e n o te b ook a nd g o d ow n th e lis t. N o, s h e d on't w ant p ork cho ps. S he tr y in g to g et h er h usb and to r e d uce. S he w ant s k ille t s te ak a nd g re en s a la d . A nd h o w many c alo rie s d o I s p ec th em m erin gue th in gie s h ave? A nd d on't g iv e n o m ore c o okie s to M ae Moble y c ause s h e to o fa t a nd --a nd --a nd -- Law ! F or a w om an w ho a in 't s a id n o th in g to m e b ut d o th is a nd u se th at b ath ro om , a ll a s u d den s h e ta lk in g to m e lik e I 'm h er b est fr ie nd . M ae M oble y's d ancin g a h o t- fo ot jig tr y in g to g et h er m am a to no tic e h er. A nd ju st w hen M is s L eefo lt a b out to b end d ow n to p ay h er s o m e a tte ntio n, w ho ops!
Mis s L eefo lt r u n o ut th e d oor c ause s h e fo rg o t s h e g o t a e rra nd to r u n a nd a b lo om in g h o ur d one passe d a lr e ad y.
I c an't m ak e m y fin gers g o r o und th at d ia l fa st e no ugh.
"M in ny! I g o t a jo b lin ed u p . B ut y o u g o t to g et to th e p ho ne--" "S he a lr e ad y c all. " M in ny's v o ic e is fla t. " L ero y g iv e h er th e n um ber." "S o M is s W alt e r a nsw er it ," I s a y.
"D eaf a s d oo-d oo a nd a ll a s u d den it 's lik e a m ir a cle fr o m G od, s h e h ear th e p ho ne r in gin g. I 'm go in g in a nd o ut a th e k it c hen, n o t p ayin g a tte ntio n, b ut a t th e e nd I h ear m y n am e. T hen L ero y c all and I k no w th at's w hat it w as." M in ny s o und w ore o ut, a nd s h e th e k in d th at d on't e ver g et tir e d .
"W ell. M ayb e M is s W alt e r d id n't te ll h er th em lie s M is s H illy s ta rte d . Y ou n ever k no w ." B ut e ven I ain 't fo ol e no ugh to b elie ve th is .
"E ven if s h e d id n't , M is s W alt e rs k no w a ll a b out h o w I g o t b ack a t M is s H illy . Y ou d on't k no w a b out th e T errib le A w fu l T hin g I d id . I d on't e ver w ant y o u to k no w . I 'm s u re M is s W alt e rs te ll th is w om an I'm n o th in g s h o rt a th e d evil h is se lf ." H er v o ic e s o und e erie . L ik e s h e a r e co rd p la yer g o in g to o s lo w .
"I'm s o rry . I w is h I c o uld a c alle d y o u e arlie r s o y o u c o uld p ic k u p th at p ho ne." "Y ou d one w hat y o u c an. N oth in g n o body c an d o fo r m e n o w ." "I b e p ra yin g fo r y o u." "T hank y o u," s h e s a y, a nd th en h er v o ic e b re ak d ow n. " A nd I th ank y o u fo r tr y in g to h elp m e." We h ang u p a nd I g o to m oppin g. T he s o und a M in ny's v o ic e s c are m e.
She a lw ays b een a s tr o ng w om an, a lw ays fig htin g. A fte r T re elo re d ie d , s h e c arry s u p per o ver to m e ever n ig ht fo r th re e m onth s s tr a ig ht. A nd e ver d ay s h e s a y, " N uh-u h, y o u a in 't le avin g m e o n th is so rry e arth w it h o ut y o u," b ut I te ll y o u, I w as s u re e no ugh th in k in g a b out it .
I a lr e ad y h ad th e r o pe tie d w hen M in ny fo und it . T he c o il w as T re elo re 's , fr o m b ack w hen h e d oin g a s c ie nce p ro je ct w it h p ulle ys a nd r in gs. I d on't k no w if I 's g o ne u se it , k no w in g it 's a s in a gain st God, b ut I w asn 't in m y r ig ht m in d . M in ny, th o ugh, s h e d on't a sk n o q uestio ns a b out it , ju st p ull it o ut fr o m u nd er th e b ed , p ut it in th e c an, ta k e it to th e s tr e et. W hen s h e c o m e b ack in , s h e b ru sh h er hand s to geth er lik e s h e c le anin g th in gs u p a s u su al. S he a ll b usin ess, th at M in ny. B ut n o w , s h e s o und bad . I g o t a m in d to c heck u nd er h er b ed to nig ht.
I p ut d ow n th e b uck et a S unsh in e c le aner th em la d ie s is a lw ays s m ilin g a b out o n th e te e-v ee. I g o t to se t d ow n. M ae M oble y c o m e u p h o ld in g h er tu m my, s a y, " M ak e it n o t h urt." She la y h er fa ce o n m y le g. I s m ooth h er h air d ow n o ver a nd o ver till s h e p ra ctic ally p urrin g, fe elin g th e lo ve in m y h and . A nd I th in k a b out a ll m y fr ie nd s, w hat th ey d one fo r m e. W hat th ey d o e ver d ay fo r th e w hit e w om en th ey w ait in g o n. T hat p ain in M in ny's v o ic e. T re elo re d ead in th e g ro und . I lo ok dow n a t B ab y G ir l, w ho I k no w , d eep d ow n, I c an't k eep fr o m tu rn in g o ut lik e h er m am a. A nd a ll o f it to geth er r o ll o n to p a m e. I c lo se m y e yes, s a y th e L ord 's p ra yer to m yse lf . B ut it d on't m ak e m e fe el a ny b ette r.
Law h elp m e, b ut s o m eth in g's g o ne h ave to b e d one.
BA BY G ir l H ug O n M Y L EG S a ll a fte rn o on to w here I b out fa ll o ver a fe w tim es. I d on't m in d .
Mis s L eefo lt a in 't s a id n o th in g to m e o r M ae M oble y s in ce th is m orn in g. B een w ork in g s o b usy o n th at s e w in g m achin e in h er b ed ro om . T ry in g to c o ver u p s o m eth in g e ls e s h e d on't lik e th e lo ok o f in th e h o use .
Afte r w hile m e a nd M ae M oble y g o in th e r e gula r liv in g r o om . I g o t a lo ad a M is te r L eefo lt 's s h ir ts to ir o n a nd a fte r th is I 'm o n g et a p ot r o ast g o in g. I c le aned th e b ath ro om s a lr e ad y, g o t th e s h eets changed , th e r u gs v acuum ed . I a lw ays tr y to fin is h u p e arly s o m e a nd B ab y G ir l c an s e t to geth er and p la y.
Mis s L eefo lt c o m e in a nd w atc h m e ir o nin g. S he d o th at s o m etim es. F ro w n a nd lo ok. T hen s h e sm ile r e al q uic k w hen I g la nce u p . P at u p th e b ack a h er h air , tr y in g to m ak e it p uffy .
"A ib ile en, I h ave a s u rp ris e fo r y o u." She s m ilin g b ig n o w . S he d on't h ave n o te eth s h o w in g, ju st a lip s m ile , k in d y o u g o t to w atc h.
"M is te r L eefo lt a nd I h ave d ecid ed to b uild y o u y o ur v ery o w n b ath ro om ." S he c la p h er h and s to geth er, d ro p h er c hin a t m e. " It's r ig ht o ut th ere in th e g ara ge." "Y es m a'a m ." W here s h e th in k I b een a ll th is tim e?
"S o, fr o m n o w o n, in ste ad o f u sin g th e g uest b ath ro om , y o u c an u se y o ur o w n r ig ht o ut th ere . W on't th at b e n ic e?" "Y es m a'a m ." I k eep ir o nin g. T ee-v ee's o n a nd m y p ro gra m 's fix in g to s ta rt. S he k eep s ta nd in g th ere lo okin g a t m e th o ugh.
"S o y o u'll u se th at o ne o ut in th e g ara ge n o w , y o u u nd ers ta nd ?" I d on't lo ok a t h er. I 'm n o t tr y in g to m ak e n o tr o ub le , b ut s h e d one m ad e h er p oin t.
"D on't y o u w ant to g et s o m e tis su e a nd g o o n o ut th ere a nd u se it ? " "M is s L eefo lt , I d on't r e ally h ave to g o r ig ht th is s e co nd ." Mae M oble y p oin t a t m e fr o m th e p la yp en, s a y, " M ae M o ju ic e?" "I g et y o u s o m e ju ic e, b ab y," I s a y.
"O h." M is s L eefo lt lic k h er lip s a fe w tim es. " B ut w hen y o u d o, y o u'll g o o n b ack th ere a nd u se th at one n o w , I m ean... o nly th at o ne, r ig ht? " Mis s L eefo lt w ear a lo t a m ak eup , c re am y-lo okin g s tu ff, th ic k . T hat y ello w is h m ak eup 's s p re ad acro ss h er lip s to o, s o y o u c an b are ly te ll s h e e ven g o t a m outh . I s a y w hat I k no w s h e w ant to h ear:
"I u se m y c o lo re d b ath ro om fr o m n o w o n. A nd th en I g o o n a nd C lo ro x th e w hit e b ath ro om a gain re al g o od." "W ell, th ere 's n o h urry . A nytim e to day w ould b e fin e." But b y th e w ay s h e s ta nd in g th ere fid dlin g w it h h er w ed din g r in g, s h e r e ally m ean fo r m e to d o it r ig ht no w .
I p ut th e ir o n d ow n r e al s lo w , fe el th at b it te r s e ed g ro w in m y c hest, th e o ne p la nte d a fte r T re elo re die d . M y fa ce g o es h o t, m y to ngue tw it c hy. I d on't k no w w hat to s a y to h er. A ll I k no w is , I a in 't sa yin g it . A nd I k no w s h e a in 't s a yin g w hat s h e w ant a s a y e it h er a nd it 's a s tr a nge th in g h ap penin g here c ause n o body s a yin g n o th in g a nd w e s till m anagin g to h ave u s a c o nvers a tio n.
MIN NY ch ap te r 3 S TA N DIN G O n th at w hit e la d y's b ack p orc h, I te ll m yse lf , Tuck it in , M in ny.
T uck in w hate ver m ig ht fly o ut m y m outh a nd tu ck in m y b ehin d to o. L ook lik e a m aid w ho d oes w hat s h e's to ld . T ru th i s , I 'm s o n erv o us r ig ht n o w , I 'd n ever b ack ta lk a gain if it m eant I 'd g et th is jo b.
I y ank m y h o se u p fr o m s a ggin g a ro und m y fe et- -th e tr o ub le o f a ll fa t, s h o rt w om en a ro und th e w orld . T hen I r e hears e w hat to s a y, w hat to k eep to m yse lf . I g o a head a nd p unch th e b ell.
T he d oorb ell r in gs a lo ng bin g-b ong , fin e a nd fa ncy fo r th is b ig m ansio n o ut in th e c o untr y . I t lo oks l ik e a c astle , g ra y b ric k r is in g h ig h in th e s k y a nd le ft a nd r ig ht to o. W oods s u rro und th e la w n o n e very s id e. I f th is p la ce w as in a s to ry b ook, th ere 'd b e w it c hes in th o se w oods. T he k in d th at e at k id s.
T he b ack d oor o pens a nd th ere s ta nd s M is s M arily n M onro e. O r s o m eth in g k in to h er.
" H ey th ere , y o u'r e r ig ht o n tim e. I 'm C elia . C elia R ae F oote ." T he w hit e la d y s tic k s h er h and o ut to m e a nd I s tu d y h er. S he m ig ht b e b uilt lik e M arily n, b ut s h e a in 't r e ad y fo r n o s c re en te st. S he's g o t flo ur in h er y ello w h air d o. F lo ur in h er g lu e-o n e yela sh es.
A nd flo ur a ll o ver th at ta ck y p in k p ants u it . H er s ta nd in g in a c lo ud o f d ust a nd th at p ants u it b ein g s o t ig ht, I w ond er h o w s h e c an b re ath e.
" Y es m a'a m . I 'm M in ny J a ck so n." I s m ooth d ow n m y w hit e u nif o rm in ste ad o f s h ak in g h er h and . I d on't w ant th at m ess o n m e. " Y ou c o okin g s o m eth in g?" " O ne o f th o se u p sid ed ow n c ak es fr o m th e m agazin e?" S he s ig hs. " It a in 't w ork in g o ut to o g o od." I fo llo w h er in sid e a nd th at's w hen I s e e M is s C elia R ae F oote 's s u ffe re d o nly a m in o r in ju ry in th e f lo ur fia sc o . T he r e st o f th e k it c hen to ok th e r e al h it . T he c o unte rto ps, th e d oub le -d oor r e fr ig era to r, t h e K it c hen-A id m ix er a re a ll s it tin g in a b out a q uarte r- in ch o f s n o w flo ur. I t's e no ugh m ess to d riv e m e c ra zy. I a in 't e ven g o t th e jo b y et, a nd I 'm a lr e ad y lo okin g o ver a t th e s in k fo r a s p onge.
M is s C elia s a ys, " I g uess I h ave s o m e le arn in g to d o." " Y ou s u re d o," I s a y. B ut I b it e d ow n h ard o n m y to ngue.
Don't y o u g o s a ssin g t h is w hit e la dy lik e y o u d one t h e o th er. S asse d h er a ll t h e w ay t o t h e n ursin g h om e.
B ut M is s C elia , s h e ju st s m ile s, w ash es th e m uck o ff h er h and s in a s in k fu ll o f d is h es. I w ond er if m ayb e I 'v e fo und m yse lf a no th er d eaf o ne, lik e M is s W alt e rs w as. L et's h o pe s o .
" I ju st c an't s e em to g et th e h ang o f k it c hen w ork ," s h e s a ys a nd e ven w it h M arily n's w his p ery H olly w ood v o ic e, I c an te ll r ig ht o ff, s h e's fr o m way o ut in th e c o untr y . I lo ok d ow n a nd s e e th e fo ol d oesn 't h ave a ny s h o es o n, lik e s o m e k in d o f w hit e tr a sh . N ic e w hit e la d ie s d on't g o a ro und b are fo ot.
S he's p ro bab ly te n o r fif te en y ears y o unger th an m e, tw enty -tw o, tw enty -th re e, a nd s h e's r e al p re tty , b ut w hy's s h e w earin g a ll th at g o o o n h er fa ce? I 'll b et s h e's g o t o n d oub le th e m ak eup th e o th er w hit e la d ie s w ear. S he's g o t a lo t m ore b oso m to h er, to o. I n fa ct, s h e's a lm ost a s b ig a s m e e xcep t sh e's s k in ny in a ll th o se p la ces I a in 't . I ju st h o pe s h e's a n e ate r. B ecause I 'm a c o oker a nd th at's why p eo ple h ir e m e.
"C an I g et y o u a c o ld d rin k ?" s h e a sk s. " S et d ow n a nd I 'll b rin g y o u s o m eth in g." And th at's m y c lu e: s o m eth in g fu nny's g o in g o n h ere .
"L ero y, s h e g o t to b e c ra zy," I s a id w hen s h e c alle d m e u p th re e d ays a go a nd a sk ed if I 'd c o m e in te rv ie w , " c ause e verb ody in to w n th in k I s to le M is s W alt e rs ' s ilv er. A nd I k no w s h e d o to o c ause sh e c all M is s W alt e rs u p o n th e p ho ne w hen I w as th ere ." "W hit e p eo ple s tr a nge," L ero y s a id . " W ho k no w s, m ayb e th at o ld w om an g iv e y o u a g o od w ord ." I lo ok a t M is s C elia R ae F oote h ard . I 'v e n ever in m y lif e h ad a w hit e w om an te ll m e to s it d ow n s o sh e c an s e rv e m e a c o ld d rin k . S ho ot, n o w I 'm w ond erin g if th is fo ol e ven p la ns o n h ir in g a m aid o r if s h e ju st d ru g m e a ll th e w ay o ut h ere fo r s p ort.
"M ayb e w e b ette r g o o n a nd s e e th e h o use fir s t, m a'a m ." She s m ile s lik e th e th o ught n ever e nte re d th at h air s p ra yed h ead o f h ers , le ttin g m e s e e th e h o use I mig ht b e c le anin g.
"O h, o f c o urs e . C om e o n in y o nd er, M axie . I 'll s h o w y o u th e fa ncy d in in g r o om fir s t." "T he n am e," I s a y, " is M in ny." Mayb e s h e's n o t d eaf o r c ra zy. M ayb e s h e's ju st s tu p id . A s h in y h o pe r is e s u p in m e a gain .
All o ver th at b ig o le d oodie d u p h o use s h e w alk s a nd ta lk s a nd I fo llo w . T here a re te n r o om s dow nsta ir s a nd o ne w it h a s tu ffe d g riz zly b ear th at lo oks lik e it a te u p th e la st m aid a nd is b id in g fo r th e n ext o ne. A b urn ed -u p C onfe d era te fla g is fr a m ed o n th e w all, a nd o n th e ta b le is a n o ld s ilv er pis to l w it h th e n am e " C onfe d era te G enera l J o hn F oote " e ngra ved o n it . I b et G re at- G ra nd ad dy Foote s c are d s o m e s la ves w it h th at th in g.
We m ove o n a nd it s ta rts to lo ok lik e a ny n ic e w hit e h o use . E xcep t th is o ne's th e b ig gest I 'v e e ver been in a nd fu ll o f d ir ty flo ors a nd d usty r u gs, th e k in d fo lk s w ho d on't k no w a ny b ette r w ould s a y is worn o ut, b ut I k no w a n a ntiq ue w hen I s e e o ne. I 'v e w ork ed in s o m e fin e h o m es. I ju st h o pe s h e ain 't s o c o untr y s h e d on't o w n a H oover.
"J o hnny's m am a w ould n't le t m e d eco ra te a th in g. I h ad m y w ay, th ere 'd b e w all- to -w all w hit e c arp et and g o ld tr im a nd n o ne o f th is o ld s tu ff." "W here y o ur p eo ple fr o m ?" I a sk h er.
"I'm fr o m . . . S ugar D it c h." H er v o ic e d ro ps d ow n a lit tle . S ugar D it c h is a s lo w a s y o u c an g o in Mis sis sip pi, m ayb e th e w ho le U nit e d S ta te s. I t's u p in T unic a C ounty , a lm ost to M em phis . I s a w pic tu re s in th e p ap er o ne tim e, s h o w in g th o se te nant s h ack s. E ven th e w hit e k id s lo oked lik e th ey had n't h ad a m eal fo r a w eek .
Mis s C elia tr ie s to s m ile , s a ys, " T his is m y fir s t tim e h ir in g a m aid ." "W ell y o u s u re n eed o ne." Now , M in ny -- "I w as r e al g la d to g et th e r e co m mend atio n fr o m M is su s W alt e rs . S he to ld m e a ll a b out y o u. S aid yo ur c o okin g is th e b est in to w n." That m ak es z e ro s e nse to m e. A fte r w hat I d id to M is s H illy , r ig ht in fr o nt o f M is s W alt e rs to s e e?
"S he s a y... a nyth in g e ls e a b out m e?" But M is s C elia 's a lr e ad y w alk in g u p a b ig c urv in g s ta ir c ase . I fo llo w h er u p sta ir s , to a lo ng h all w it h su n c o m in g th ro ugh th e w in d ow s. E ven th o ugh th ere a re tw o y ello w b ed ro om s fo r g ir ls a nd a b lu e one a nd a g re en o ne fo r b oys, it 's c le ar th ere a re n't a ny c hild re n liv in g h ere . J u st d ust.
"W e'v e g o t fiv e b ed ro om s a nd fiv e b ath ro om s o ver h ere in th e m ain h o use ." S he p oin ts o ut th e win d ow a nd I s e e a b ig b lu e s w im min g p ool, a nd b ehin d th at, anoth er h o use . M y h eart th um ps hard .
"A nd th en th ere 's th e p oolh o use o ut y o nd er," s h e s ig hs.
I'd ta k e a ny jo b I c an g et a t th is p oin t, b ut a b ig h o use lik e th is s h o uld p ay p le nty . A nd I d on't m in d bein g b usy. I a in 't a fr a id to w ork . " W hen y o u g o ne h ave y o u s o m e c hillu ns, s ta rt fillin g u p a ll th ese bed s? " I tr y to s m ile , lo ok fr ie nd ly .
"O h, w e'r e g o nna h ave s o m e k id s." S he c le ars h er th ro at, fid gets . " I m ean, k id s is th e o nly th in g worth liv in g fo r." S he lo oks d ow n a t h er fe et. A s e co nd p asse s b efo re s h e h ead s b ack to th e s ta ir s . I fo llo w b ehin d , n o tic in g h o w s h e h o ld s th e s ta ir r a il tig ht o n th e w ay d ow n, lik e s h e's a fr a id s h e m ig ht fa ll.
It's b ack in th e d in in g r o om th at M is s C elia s ta rts s h ak in g h er h ead . " It's a n a w fu l lo t to d o," s h e sa ys. " A ll th e b ed ro om s a nd th e flo ors . . ." "Y es m a'a m , it 's b ig ," I s a y, th in k in g if s h e s a w m y h o use w it h a c o t in th e h all a nd o ne to ile t fo r s ix behin d s, s h e'd p ro bab ly r u n. " B ut I g o t lo ts a e nerg y." ". . . a nd th en th ere 's a ll th is s ilv er to c le an." She o pens u p a s ilv er c lo se t th e s iz e o f m y liv in g r o om . S he fix es a c and le th at's tu rn ed fu nny o n th e cand ela b ra a nd I c an s e e w hy s h e's lo okin g s o d oub tfu l.
Afte r th e to w n g o t w ord o f M is s H illy 's lie s, th re e la d ie s in a r o w h ung u p o n m e th e m in ute I s a id my n am e. I r e ad y m yse lf fo r th e b lo w .
Say it , la dy. S ay w hat y o u t h in kin g a bout m e a nd y o ur silv er.
I fe el lik e c ry in g th in k in g a b out h o w th is jo b w ould s u it m e fin e a nd w hat M is s H illy 's d one to keep m e fr o m g ettin g it . I fix m y e yes o n th e w in d ow , h o pin g a nd p ra yin g th is is n 't w here th e in te rv ie w e nd s.
"I k no w , th o se w in d ow s a re a w fu l h ig h. I n ever tr ie d to c le an th em b efo re ." I le t m y b re ath g o . W in d ow s a re a h eck o f a lo t b ette r s u b je ct fo r m e th an s ilv er. " I a in 't a fr a id a n o win d ow s. I c le an M is s W alt e rs ' to p to b otto m e ver fo ur w eek s." "D id s h e h ave ju st th e o ne flo or o r a d oub le d eck er? " "W ell, o ne . . . b ut th ey's a lo t to it . O ld h o use s g o t a lo t a n o oks a nd c ra nnie s, y o u k no w ." Fin ally , w e g o b ack in th e k it c hen. W e b oth s ta re d ow n a t th e b re ak fa st ta b le , b ut n eit h er o ne o f u s sit s . I 'm g ettin g s o jit te ry w ond erin g w hat s h e's th in k in g, m y h ead s ta rts to s w eat.
"Y ou g o t a b ig , p re tty h o use ," I s a y. " A ll th e w ay o ut h ere in th e c o untr y . L ot a w ork to b e d one." She s ta rts fid dlin g w it h h er w ed din g r in g. " I g uess M is su s W alt e rs ' w as a lo t e asie r th an th is w ould be. I m ean, it 's ju st u s n o w , b ut w hen w e g et to h avin g k id s . . ." "Y ou, u h, g o t s o m e o th er m aid s y o u c o nsid erin g?" She s ig hs. " A b unch h ave c o m e o ut h ere . I ju st h aven't fo und ... th e r ig ht o ne y et." S he b it e s o n h er fin gern ails , s h if ts h er e yes a w ay.
I w ait fo r h er to s a y I 'm n o t th e r ig ht o ne e it h er, b ut w e ju st s ta nd th ere b re ath in g in th at flo ur. F in ally , I p la y m y la st c ard , w his p er it b ecause it 's a ll I g o t le ft.
"Y ou k no w , I o nly le ft M is s W alt e rs c ause s h e g o in g u p to th e r e st h o m e. S he d id n't fir e m e." But s h e ju st s ta re s d ow n a t h er b are fe et, b la ck -so le d b ecause h er flo ors h aven't b een s c ru b bed sin ce s h e m oved in th is b ig o ld d ir ty h o use . A nd it 's c le ar, th is la d y d oesn 't w ant m e.
"W ell, " s h e s a ys, " I a p pre cia te y o u d riv in g a ll th is w ay. C an I a t le ast g iv e y o u s o m e m oney fo r th e gas? " I p ic k u p m y p ock etb ook a nd th ru st it u p u nd er m y a rm pit . S he g iv es m e a c heery s m ile I c o uld wip e o ff w it h o ne s w at.
Dam n th at H illy H olb ro ok.
"N o m a'a m , n o , y o u c anno t." "I k new it w as g o nna b e a c ho re fin d in g s o m eo ne, b ut . . ." I s ta nd th ere lis te nin g to h er a ctin g a ll s o rry b ut I ju st th in k , Get it o ver w it h , la dy, s o I c a n t e ll Lero y w e g ot t o m ove a ll t h e w ay t o t h e N orth P ole n ex t t o S anty C la us w here n obody's h ea rd Hilly 's lie s a bout m e.
". . . a nd if I w ere y o u I w ould n't w ant to c le an th is b ig h o use e it h er." I lo ok a t h er s q uare o n. N ow th at's ju st e xcusin g h ers e lf a lit tle to o m uch, p re te nd in g M in ny a in 't gettin g th e jo b c ause M in ny d on't want th e jo b.
"W hen y o u h ear m e s a y I d on't w ant a c le an th is h o use ?" "It's a lr ig ht, fiv e m aid s h ave a lr e ad y to ld m e it 's to o m uch w ork ." I lo ok d ow n a t m y h und re d -a nd -six ty -fiv e-p ound , fiv e-fo ot- ze ro s e lf p ra ctic ally b ustin g o ut o f m y unif o rm . " T oo m uch fo r m e?" She b lin k s a t m e a s e co nd . " Y ou . . . y o u'll d o it ? " "W hy y o u th in k I d ro ve a ll th e w ay o ut h ere to k in gd om c o m e, ju st to b urn g as? " I c la m p m y m outh sh ut.
Don't g o r u ir n in g t h is n ow , s h e o ffe rin g y o u a j a y-o -b ee.
" M is s C elia , I b e h ap py to w ork fo r y o u." She la ughs a nd th e c ra zy w om an g o es to h ug m e, b ut I s te p b ack a lit tle , le t h er k no w th at's n o t th e kin d o f th in g I d o.
"H ang o n n o w , w e g o t to ta lk a b out s o m e th in gs fir s t. Y ou g o t to te ll m e w hat d ays y o u w ant m e here a nd ... a nd th at k in d a th in g." Lik e h ow m uch y o u p ayin g.
"I g uess . . . w henever y o u fe el lik e c o m in g," s h e s a ys.
"F or M is s W alt e rs I w ork S und ay th ro ugh F rid ay." Mis s C elia c hew s s o m e m ore o n h er p in k p in k y-n ail. " Y ou c an't c o m e h ere o n w eek end s." "A lr ig ht." I n eed th e d ays, b ut m ayb e la te r o n s h e'll le t m e d o s o m e p arty s e rv in g o r w hatn o t.
"M ond ay th ro ugh F rid ay th en. N ow , w hat tim e y o u w ant m e h ere in th e m orn in g?" "W hat tim e d o y o u w ant to c o m e in ?" I'v e n ever h ad th is c ho ic e b efo re . I fe el m y e yes n arro w u p . " H ow b out e ig ht. T hat's w hen M is s Walt e rs u se d to g et m e in ." "A lr ig ht, e ig ht's r e al g o od." T hen s h e s ta nd s th ere lik e s h e's w ait in g fo r m y n ext c heck er m ove.
"N ow y o u s u p pose d to te ll m e w hat tim e I g o t to le ave." "W hat tim e?" a sk s C elia .
I r o ll m y e yes a t h er. " M is s C elia , y o u s u p pose d to te ll m e th at. T hat's th e w ay it w ork s." She s w allo w s, lik e s h e's tr y in g r e al h ard to g et th is d ow n. I ju st w ant to g et th ro ugh th is b efo re s h e changes h er m in d a b out m e.
"H ow b out fo ur o 'c lo ck ?" I s a y. " I w ork e ig ht to fo ur a nd I g ets s o m e tim e fo r lu nch o r w hat- h ave- yo u." "T hat's ju st fin e." "N ow . . . w e g o t to ta lk b out p ay," I s a y a nd m y to es s ta rt w rig glin g in m y s h o es. I t m ust n o t b e much if fiv e m aid s a lr e ad y s a id n o .
Neit h er o ne o f u s s a ys a nyth in g.
"N ow c o m e o n, M is s C elia . W hat y o ur h usb and s a y y o u c an p ay?" She lo oks o ff a t th e V eg-O -M atic I b et s h e c an't e ven u se a nd s a ys, " J o hnny d oesn 't k no w ." "A lr ig ht th en. A sk h im to nig ht w hat h e w ants to p ay." "N o, J o hnny d oesn 't k no w I 'm b rin gin g in h elp ." My c hin d ro ps d ow n to m y c hest. " W hat y o u m ean h e d on't k no w ?" "I a m not te llin g J o hnny." H er b lu e e yes a re b ig , lik e s h e's s c are d to d eath o f h im .
"A nd w hat's M is te r J o hnny g o ne d o if h e c o m e h o m e a nd fin d a c o lo re d w om an u p in h is k it c hen?" "I'm s o rry , I ju st c an't - -" "I'll te ll y o u w hat h e's g o ne d o, h e's g o ne g et th at p is to l a nd s h o ot M in ny d ead r ig ht h ere o n th is n o - wax flo or." Mis s C elia s h ak es h er h ead . " I'm n o t te llin g h im ." "T hen I g o t to g o ," I s a y.
Shit . I k new it . I k new s h e w as c ra zy w hen I w alk ed in t h e d oor -- "It's n o t th at I 'd b e fib bin g to h im . I ju st n eed a m aid --" "A c o urs e y o u n eed a m aid . L ast o ne d one g o t s h o t in th e h ead ." "H e n ever c o m es h o m e d urin g th e d ay. J u st d o th e h eavy c le anin g a nd te ach m e h o w to fix s u p per and it 'll o nly ta k e a fe w m onth s--" My n o se p ric k le s fr o m s o m eth in g b urn in g. I s e e a w aft o f s m oke c o m in g fr o m th e o ven. " A nd th en what, y o u g o ne fir e m e a fte r th em fe w m onth s? " "T hen I 'll . . . te ll h im ," s h e s a y b ut s h e's fr o w nin g a t th e th o ught. " P le ase , I w ant h im to th in k I c an do it o n m y o w n. I w ant h im to th in k I 'm . . . w orth th e tr o ub le ." "M is s C elia . . ." I s h ak e m y h ead , n o t b elie vin g I 'm a lr e ad y a rg uin g w it h th is la d y a nd I h aven't work ed h ere tw o m in ute s. " I th in k y o u d one b urn ed u p y o ur c ak e." She g ra b s a r a g a nd r u sh es to th e o ven a nd je rk s th e c ak e o ut. " O ww! D aw go n it ! " I s e t m y p ock etb ook d ow n, s id le h er o ut o f th e w ay. " Y ou c an't u se n o w et to w el o n a h o t p an." I g ra b a d ry r a g a nd ta k e th at b la ck c ak e o ut th e d oor, s e t it d ow n o n th e c o ncre te s te p .
Mis s C elia s ta re s d ow n a t h er b urn ed h and . " M is su s W alt e rs s a id y o u w ere a r e al g o od c o ok." "T hat o ld w om an e at tw o b utte rb eans a nd s a y s h e fu ll. I c o uld n't g et h er to e at n o th in g." "H ow m uch w as s h e p ayin g y o u?" "D olla r a n h o ur," I s a y, fe elin g k in d o f a sh am ed . F iv e y ears a nd n o t e ven m in im um w age.
"T hen I 'll p ay y o u tw o." And I fe el a ll th e b re ath s lip o ut o f m e.
"W hen M is te r J o hnny g et o ut th e h o use in th e m orn in g?" I a sk , c le anin g u p th e b utte rs tic k m elt in g rig ht o n th e c o unte r, n o t e ven a p la te u nd er it .
"S ix . H e c an't s ta nd to d o-d ad a ro und h ere v ery lo ng. T hen h e h ead s b ack fr o m h is r e al e sta te o ffic e ab out fiv e." I d o s o m e fig urin g a nd e ven w it h th e fe w er h o urs it 'd b e m ore p ay. B ut I c an't g et p aid if I g et s h o t dead . " I'll le ave a t th re e th en. G iv e m yse lf tw o h o urs c o m in g a nd g o in g s o I c an s ta y o ut a h is w ay." "G ood." S he n o ds. " It's b est to b e s a fe ." On th e b ack s te p , M is s C elia d um ps th e c ak e in a p ap er s a ck . " I'll h ave to b ury th is in th e w aste b in so h e w on't k no w I 'v e b urn ed u p a no th er o ne." I ta k e th e b ag o ut o f h er h and s. " M is te r J o hnny a in 't s e ein g n o th in g. I 'll th ro w it o ut a t m y h o use ." "O h, th ank y o u." M is s C elia s h ak es h er h ead lik e th at's th e n ic est th in g a nyo ne's e ver d one fo r h er.
She h o ld s h er h and s in tig ht lit tle fis ts u nd er h er c hin . I w alk o ut to m y c ar.
I s it in th e s a ggin g s e at o f th e F ord L ero y's s till p ayin g h is b oss tw elv e d olla rs e very w eek fo r. R elie f hit s m e. I h ave fin ally g o tte n m yse lf a jo b. I d on't h ave to m ove to th e N orth P ole . W on't S anty Cla us b e d is a p poin te d .
"S IT D O W N O n Y O UR B EH IN D, M in ny, b ecause I 'm a b out to te ll y o u th e r u le s fo r w ork in g in a Whit e L ad y's h o use ." I w as fo urte en y ears o ld to th e d ay. I s a t a t th e lit tle w ooden ta b le in m y m am a's k it c hen e yein g th at cara m el c ak e o n th e c o olin g r a ck , w ait in g to b e ic ed . B ir th d ays w ere th e o nly d ay o f th e y ear I w as allo w ed to e at a s m uch a s I w ante d .
I w as a b out to q uit s c ho ol a nd s ta rt m y fir s t r e al jo b. M am a w ante d m e to s ta y o n a nd g o to n in th gra d e--sh e'd a lw ays w ante d to b e a s c ho olt e acher in ste ad o f w ork in g in M is s W oodra 's h o use . B ut wit h m y s is te r's h eart p ro ble m a nd m y n o -g o od d ru nk d ad dy, it w as u p to m e a nd M am a. I a lr e ad y knew a b out h o use w ork . A fte r s c ho ol, I d id m ost o f th e c o okin g a nd th e c le anin g. B ut if I w as g o in g off to w ork in s o m eb ody e ls e 's h o use , w ho 'd b e lo okin g a fte r o urs ?
Mam a tu rn ed m e b y th e s h o uld ers s o I 'd lo ok a t h er in ste ad o f th e c ak e. M am a w as a c ra ck -w hip . She w as p ro per. S he to ok n o th in g fr o m n o body. S he s h o ok h er fin ger s o c lo se to m y fa ce, it m ad e me c ro ss-e yed .
"R ule N um ber O ne fo r w ork in g fo r a w hit e la d y, M in ny: it is n o body's b usin ess. Y ou k eep y o ur n o se out o f y o ur W hit e L ad y's p ro ble m s, y o u d on't g o c ry in g to h er w it h y o urs --y o u c an't p ay th e lig ht bill? Y our fe et a re to o s o re ? R em em ber o ne th in g: w hit e p eo ple a re n o t y o ur fr ie nd s. T hey d on't want to h ear a b out it . A nd w hen M is s W hit e L ad y c atc hes h er m an w it h th e la d y n ext d oor, y o u keep o ut o f it , y o u h ear m e?
"R ule N um ber T w o: d on't y o u ev er le t th at W hit e L ad y fin d y o u s it tin g o n h er to ile t. I d on't c are if yo u'v e g o t to g o s o b ad it 's c o m in g o ut o f y o ur h air b ra id s. I f th ere 's n o t o ne o ut b ack fo r th e h elp , yo u fin d y o urs e lf a tim e w hen s h e's n o t th ere in a b ath ro om s h e d oesn 't u se .
"R ule N um ber T hre e--" M am a je rk ed m y c hin b ack a ro und to fa ce h er b ecause th at c ak e h ad lu re d me in a gain . " R ule N um ber T hre e: w hen y o u'r e c o okin g w hit e p eo ple 's fo od, y o u ta ste it w it h a dif fe re nt s p oon. Y ou p ut th at s p oon to y o ur m outh , th in k n o body's lo okin g, p ut it b ack in th e p ot, mig ht a s w ell th ro w it o ut.
"R ule N um ber F our: Y ou u se th e s a m e c up , s a m e fo rk , s a m e p la te e very d ay. K eep it in a s e p ara te cup board a nd te ll th at w hit e w om an th at's th e o ne y o u'll u se fr o m h ere o n o ut.
"R ule N um ber F iv e: y o u e at in th e k it c hen.
"R ule N um ber S ix : y o u d on't h it o n h er c hild re n. W hit e p eo ple lik e to d o th eir o w n s p ank in g." "R ule N um ber S even: th is is th e la st o ne, M in ny. A re y o u lis te nin g to m e? N o s a ss-m outh in g." "M am a, I k no w h o w --" "O h, I h ear y o u w hen y o u th in k I c an't , m utte rin g a b out h avin g to c le an th e s to vep ip e, a b out th e la st lit tle p ie ce o f c hic k en le ft fo r p oor M in ny. Y ou s a ss a w hit e w om an in th e m orn in g, y o u'll b e s a ssin g out o n th e s tr e et in th e a fte rn o on." I s a w th e w ay m y m am a a cte d w hen M is s W oodra b ro ught h er h o m e, a ll Y es M a'a m in g, N o Ma'a m in g, I s u re d o th ank y o u M a'a m in g.
Why I g ot t o b e lik e t h at? I k now h ow t o s ta nd u p t o peo ple .
"N ow c o m e h ere a nd g iv e y o ur m am a a h ug o n y o ur b ir th d ay--L ord , y o u a re h eavy a s a h o use , Min ny." "I a in 't e ate n a ll d ay, w hen c an I h ave m y c ak e?" "D on't s a y a in 't , y o u s p eak p ro perly n o w . I d id n't r a is e y o u to ta lk lik e a m ule ." Fir s t d ay a t m y W hit e L ad y's h o use , I a te m y h am s a nd w ic h in th e k it c hen, p ut m y p la te u p in m y sp ot in th e c up board . W hen th at lit tle b ra t s to le m y p ock etb ook a nd h id it in th e o ven, I d id n't who op h er o n th e b ehin d .
But w hen th e W hit e L ad y s a id : " N ow I w ant y o u to b e s u re a nd h and w ash a ll th e c lo th es fir s t, th en put th em in th e e le ctr ic m achin e to fin is h u p ." I s a id : " W hy I g o t to h and w ash w hen th e p ow er w ash er g o ne d o th e jo b? T hat's th e b ig gest w aste a tim e I e ver h eard o f." That W hit e L ad y s m ile d a t m e, a nd fiv e m in ute s la te r, I w as o ut o n th e s tr e et.
WORK IN G F O R M is s C ELIA , I 'll g et to s e e m y k id s o ff to S pann E le m enta ry in th e m orn in g a nd still g et h o m e in th e e venin g w it h tim e to m yse lf . I h aven't h ad a n ap s in ce K in d ra w as b orn in 1 957, but w it h th ese h o urs --e ig ht to th re e--I c o uld h ave o ne e very d ay if th at w as m y id ea o f a fin e tim e.
Sin ce n o b us g o es a ll th e w ay o ut to M is s C elia 's , I h ave to ta k e L ero y's c ar.
"Y ou a in 't ta k in g m y c ar e very d ay, w om an, w hat if I g et th e d ay s h if t a nd n eed to --" "S he p ayin g m e s e venty d olla rs c ash e very F rid ay, L ero y." "M ayb e I ta k e S ugar's b ik e." On T uesd ay, th e d ay a fte r th e in te rv ie w , I p ark th e c ar d ow n th e s tr e et fr o m M is s C elia 's h o use , aro und a c urv e s o y o u c an't s e e it . I w alk fa st o n th e e m pty r o ad a nd u p th e d riv e. N o o th er c ars co m e b y.
"I'm h ere , M is s C elia ." I s tic k m y h ead in h er b ed ro om th at fir s t m orn in g a nd th ere s h e is , p ro pped up o n th e c o vers w it h h er m ak eup p erfe ct a nd h er tig ht F rid ay-n ig ht c lo th es o n e ven th o ugh it 's Tuesd ay, r e ad in g th e tr a sh in th e Holly w ood D ig est lik e it 's th e H oly B .
"G ood m orn in g, M in ny! I t's r e al g o od to s e e y o u," s h e s a ys, a nd I b ris tle , h earin g a w hit e la d y b ein g so fr ie nd ly .
I lo ok a ro und th e b ed ro om , s iz in g u p th e jo b. I t's b ig , w it h c re am -c o lo re d c arp et, a y ello w k in g cano py b ed , tw o fa t y ello w c hair s . A nd it 's n eat, w it h n o c lo th es o n th e flo or. T he s p re ad 's m ad e u p und ern eath h er. T he b la nk et o n th e c hair 's fo ld ed n ic e. B ut I w atc h, I lo ok. I c an fe el it . S om eth in g's wro ng.
"W hen c an w e g et to o ur fir s t c o okin g le sso n?" s h e a sk s. " C an w e s ta rt to day?" "I r e ck on in a fe w d ays, a fte r y o u g o to th e s to re a nd p ic k u p w hat w e n eed ." She th in k s a b out th is a s e co nd , s a ys, " M ayb e y o u o ught to g o , M in ny, s in ce y o u k no w w hat to b uy and a ll. " I lo ok a t h er. M ost w hit e w om en lik e to d o th eir o w n s h o ppin g. " A lr ig ht, I g o in th e m orn in g, th en." I s p ot a s m all p in k s h ag r u g s h e's p ut o n to p o f th e c arp et n ext to th e b ath ro om d oor. K in d o f c atty - co rn ere d . I 'm n o d eco ra to r, b ut I k no w a p in k r u g d oesn 't m atc h a y ello w r o om .
"M is s C elia , fo re I g et g o in g h ere , I n eed to k no w . E xactly w hen y o u p la nnin g o n te llin g M is te r Jo hnny b out m e?" She e yes th e m agazin e in h er la p . " In a fe w m onth s, I r e ck on. I o ught to k no w h o w to c o ok a nd s tu ff by th en." "B y a fe w , is y o u m eanin g tw o?" She b it e s h er lip stic k y lip s. " I w as th in k in g m ore lik e . . . fo ur." Say w hat?
I 'm n o t w ork in g fo ur m onth s lik e a n e sc ap ed c rim in al. " Y ou a in 't g o ne te ll h im till 1 963?
No m a'a m , befo re C hris tm as." She s ig hs. " A lr ig ht. B ut r ig ht b efo re ." I d o s o m e fig urin g. " T hat's a h und re d a nd . . . s ix te en d ays th en. Y ou g o ne te ll h im . A h und re d a nd six te en d ays fr o m n o w ." She g iv es m e a w orrie d fr o w n. I g uess s h e d id n't e xp ect th e m aid to b e s o g o od a t m ath . F in ally s h e sa ys, " O kay." Then I te ll h er s h e n eed s to g o o n in th e liv in g r o om , le t m e d o m y w ork in h ere . W hen s h e's g o ne, I eyeb all th e r o om , a t h o w n eat it a ll lo oks. R eal s lo w , I o pen h er c lo se t a nd ju st lik e I th o ught, fo rty - fiv e th in gs fa ll d ow n o n m y h ead . T hen I lo ok u nd er th e b ed a nd fin d e no ugh d ir ty c lo th es to w here I bet s h e's h asn 't w ash ed in m onth s.
Every d ra w er is a w re ck , e very h id den c ra nny fu ll o f d ir ty c lo th es a nd w ad ded -u p s to ck in gs. I fin d fif te en b oxes o f n ew s h ir ts fo r M is te r J o hnny s o h e w on't k no w s h e c an't w ash a nd ir o n. F in ally , I lif t up th at fu nny-lo okin g p in k s h ag r u g. U nd ern eath , th ere 's a b ig , d eep s ta in th e c o lo r o f r u st. I sh ud der.
TH AT A FTER N OON, M is s C elia a nd I m ak e a lis t o f w hat to c o ok th at w eek , a nd th e n ext morn in g I d o th e g ro cery s h o ppin g. B ut it ta k es m e tw ic e a s lo ng b ecause I h ave to d riv e a ll th e w ay to th e w hit e J it n ey J u ngle in to w n in ste ad o f th e c o lo re d P ig gly W ig gly b y m e s in ce I fig ure s h e w on't eat fo od fr o m a c o lo re d g ro cery s to re a nd I r e ck on I d on't b la m e h er, w it h th e p ota to es h avin g in ch- lo ng e yes a nd th e m ilk a lm ost s o ur. W hen I g et to w ork , I 'm r e ad y to fig ht w it h h er o ver a ll th e re aso ns I 'm la te , b ut th ere M is s C elia is o n th e b ed lik e b efo re , s m ilin g lik e it d oesn 't m atte r. A ll dre sse d u p a nd g o in g n o w here . F or fiv e h o urs s h e s it s th ere , r e ad in g th e m agazin es. T he o nly tim e I se e h er g et u p is fo r a g la ss o f m ilk o r to p ee. B ut I d on't a sk . I 'm ju st th e m aid .
Afte r I c le an th e k it c hen, I g o in th e fo rm al liv in g r o om . I s to p in th e d oorw ay a nd g iv e th at g riz zly bear a g o od lo ng s ta re . H e's s e ven fe et ta ll a nd b arin g h is te eth . H is c la w s a re lo ng, c urle d , w it c hy- lo okin g. A t h is fe et la ys a b one-h and le d h untin g k nif e . I g et c lo se r a nd s e e h is fu r's n ap py w it h d ust.
There 's a c o bw eb b etw een h is ja w s.
Fir s t, I s w at a t th e d ust w it h m y b ro om , b ut it 's th ic k , m atte d u p in h is fu r. A ll th is d oes is m ove th e dust a ro und . S o I ta k e a c lo th a nd tr y a nd w ip e h im d ow n, b ut I s q uaw k e very tim e th at w ir y h air to uches m y h and .
Whit e p eo ple . I m ean, I h ave c le aned e very th in g fr o m r e fr ig era to rs to r e ar e nd s but w hat m ak es th at la d y th in k I k no w h o w to c le an a d am n g riz zly b ear?
I g o g et th e H oover. I s u ck th e d ir t o ff a nd e xcep t fo r a fe w s p ots w here I s u ck ed to o h ard a nd th in ned h im , I th in k it w ork ed o ut p re tty g o od.
Afte r I 'm d one w it h th e b ear, I d ust th e fa ncy b ooks n o body r e ad s, th e C onfe d era te c o at b utto ns, th e s ilv er p is to l. O n a ta b le is a g o ld p ic tu re fr a m e o f M is s C elia a nd M is te r J o hnny a t th e a lt a r a nd I lo ok c lo se to s e e w hat k in d o f m an h e is . I 'm h o pin g h e's fa t a nd s h o rt- le gged in c ase it c o m es to ru nnin g, b ut h e's n o t a nyw here c lo se . H e's s tr o ng, ta ll, th ic k . A nd h e's n o s tr a nger e it h er. L ord . H e's th e o ne w ho w ent s te ad y w it h M is s H illy a ll th o se y ears w hen I fir s t w ork ed fo r M is s W alt e rs . I never m et h im , b ut I s a w h im e no ugh tim es to b e s u re . I s h iv er, m y fe ars tr ip lin g. B ecause th at a lo ne sa ys m ore a b out th at m an th an a nyth in g.
AT O NE O 'C LO CK , M is s C elia c o m es in th e k it c hen a nd s a ys s h e's r e ad y fo r h er fir s t c o okin g le sso n. S he s e ttle s o n a s to ol. S he's w earin g a tig ht r e d s w eate r a nd a r e d s k ir t a nd e no ugh m ak eup to s c are a h o oker.
"W hat y o u k no w h o w to c o ok a lr e ad y?" I a sk .
She th in k s th is o ver, w rin k lin g h er fo re head . " M ayb e w e c o uld ju st s ta rt a t th e b egin nin g." "M ust b e s o m eth in g y o u k no w . W hat y o ur m am a te ach y o u g ro w in g u p ?" She lo oks d ow n a t th e w eb by fe et o f h er p anty h o se , s a ys, " I c an c o ok c o rn p one." I c an't h elp b ut la ugh. " W hat e ls e y o u k no w h o w to d o s id es c o rn p one?" "I c an b oil p ota to es." H er v o ic e d ro ps e ven q uie te r. " A nd I c an d o g rit s . W e d id n't h ave e le ctr ic curre nt o ut w here I liv ed . B ut I 'm r e ad y to le arn r ig ht. O n a r e al s to veto p." Lord . I 'v e n ever m et a w hit e p ers o n w ors e o ff th an m e e xcep t fo r c ra zy M is te r W ally , liv es b ehin d th e C anto n fe ed s to re a nd e ats th e c at fo od.
"Y ou b een fe ed in g y o ur h usb and g rit s a nd c o rn p one e ver d ay?" Mis s C elia n o ds. " B ut y o u'll te ach m e to c o ok r ig ht, w on't y o u?" "I'll tr y ," I s a y, e ven th o ugh I 'v e n ever to ld a w hit e w om an w hat to d o a nd I d on't r e ally k no w h o w to sta rt. I p ull u p m y h o se , th in k a b out it . F in ally , I p oin t to th e c an o n th e c o unte r.
"I r e ck on if th ere 's a nyth in g y o u o ught a k no w a b out c o okin g, it 's th is ." "T hat's ju st la rd , a in 't it ? " "N o, it a in 't ju st la rd ," I s a y. " It's th e m ost im porta nt in ventio n in th e k it c hen s in ce ja rre d mayo nnais e ." "W hat's s o s p ecia l a b out" - -sh e w rin k le s h er n o se a t it - -"p ig fa t? " "A in 't pig , it 's v egeta b le ." W ho in th is w orld d oesn 't k no w w hat C ris c o is ? " Y ou d on't h ave a c lu e o f all th e th in gs y o u c an d o w it h th is h ere c an." She s h ru gs. " F ry ?" "A in 't ju st fo r fr y in g. Y ou e ver g et a s tic k y s o m eth in g s tu ck in y o ur h air , lik e g um ?" I ja ck ham mer m y fin ger o n th e C ris c o c an. " T hat's r ig ht, C ris c o . S pre ad th is o n a b ab y's b otto m , y o u w on't e ven kno w w hat d ia p er r a sh is ." I p lo p th re e s c o ops in th e b la ck s k ille t. " S ho ot, I s e en la d ie s r u b it u nd er th ey e yes a nd o n th ey h usb and 's s c aly fe et." "L ook h o w p re tty it is ," s h e s a ys. " L ik e w hit e c ak e fr o stin g." "C le an th e g o o fr o m a p ric e ta g, ta k e th e s q ueak o ut a d oor h in ge. L ig hts g et c ut o ff, s tic k a w ic k in it a nd b urn it lik e a c and le ." I tu rn o n th e fla m e a nd w e w atc h it m elt d ow n in th e p an. " A nd a fte r a ll th at, it 'll s till fr y y o ur chic k en." "A lr ig ht," s h e s a ys, c o ncentr a tin g h ard . " W hat's n ext? " "C hic k en's b een s o ak in g in th e b utte rm ilk ," I s a y. " N ow m ix u p th e d ry ." I p our flo ur, s a lt , m ore s a lt , pep per, p ap rik a, a nd a p in ch o f c ayenne in to a d oub le d p ap er s a ck .
"N ow . P ut th e c hic k en p arts in th e b ag a nd s h ak e it ." Mis s C elia p uts a r a w c hic k en th ig h in , b um ps th e b ag a ro und . " L ik e th is ? J u st lik e th e S hak e 'n Bak e c o m merc ia ls o n th e te e-v ee?" "Y eah," I s a y a nd r u n m y to ngue u p o ver m y te eth b ecause if th at's n o t a n in su lt , I d on't k no w w hat is . " J u st lik e th e S hak e 'n B ak e." B ut th en I fr e eze . I h ear th e s o und o f a c ar m oto r o ut o n th e r o ad . I ho ld s till a nd lis te n. I s e e M is s C elia 's e yes a re b ig a nd s h e's lis te nin g to o. W e'r e th in k in g th e s a m e th in g: W hat if it 's h im a nd w here w ill I h id e?
The c ar m oto r p asse s. W e b oth b re ath e a gain .
"M is s C elia ," I g rit m y te eth , " h o w c o m e y o u c an't te ll y o ur h usb and a b out m e? A in 't h e g o ne k no w when th e c o okin g g ets g o od?" "O h, I d id n't th in k o f th at! M ayb e w e o ught to b urn th e c hic k en a lit tle ." I lo ok a t h er s id ew ays. I a in 't b urn in g n o c hic k en. S he d id n't a nsw er th e r e al q uestio n, b ut I 'll g et it out o f h er s o on e no ugh.
Real c are fu l, I la y th e d ark m eat in th e p an. I t b ub ble s u p lik e a s o ng a nd w e w atc h th e th ig hs a nd le gs tu rn b ro w n. I lo ok o ver a nd M is s C elia 's s m ilin g a t m e.
"W hat? S om eth in g o n m y fa ce?" "N o," s h e s a ys, te ars c o m in g u p in h er e yes. S he to uches m y a rm . " I'm ju st r e al g ra te fu l y o u'r e h ere ." I m ove m y a rm b ack fr o m u nd er h er h and . " M is s C elia , y o u g o t a lo t m ore to b e g ra te fu l fo r th an me." "I k no w ." S he lo oks a t h er fa ncy k it c hen lik e it 's s o m eth in g th at ta ste s b ad . " I n ever d re am ed I 'd have th is m uch." "W ell, a in 't y o u lu ck y." "I'v e n ever b een h ap pie r in m y w ho le lif e ." I le ave it a t th at. U nd ern eath a ll th at h ap py, s h e s u re d oesn 't lo ok h ap py.
TH AT N IG HT, I c all A IB IL EEN .
"M is s H illy w as a t M is s L eefo lt 's y este rd ay," A ib ile en s a ys. " S he a sk if a nyb ody k new w here y o u was w ork in g." "L ord y, s h e fin d m e o ut th ere , s h e r u ir n it fo r s u re ." I t's b een tw o w eek s s in ce th e T errib le A w fu l Thin g I d id to th at w om an. I k no w s h e'd ju st lo ve to s e e m e fir e d o n th e s p ot.
"W hat L ero y s a y w hen y o u to ld h im y o u g o t th e jo b?" A ib ile en a sk s.
"S ho ot. H e s tr u t a ro und th e k it c hen lik e a p lu m ed r o oste r c ause h e in fr o nt a th e k id s," I s a y. " A ct lik e h e th e o nly o ne s u p portin g th e fa m ily a nd I 'm ju st d oin g th is to k eep m y p oor s e lf e nte rta in ed .
Late r o n th o ugh, w e in b ed a nd I th o ught m y b ig o ld b ull fo r a h usb and g o ne c ry ." Aib ile en la ughs. " L ero y g o t a lo t a p rid e." "Y eah, I ju st g o t to m ak e s u re M is te r J o hnny d on't c atc h u p w it h m e." "A nd s h e a in 't to ld y o u w hy s h e d on't w ant h im to k no w ?" "A ll s h e s a y is s h e w ant h im to th in k s h e c an d o th e c o okin g a nd th e c le anin g h ers e lf . B ut th at a in 't why. S he h id in g s o m eth in g fr o m h im ." "A in 't it fu nny h o w th is w ork ed o ut. M is s C elia c an't te ll n o body, e ls e it 'll g et b ack to M is te r J o hnny.
So M is s H illy w on't fin d o ut, c ause M is s C elia c an't te ll n o body. Y ou c o uld n't a fix ed it u p b ette r yo urs e lf ." "M m-h m m" is a ll I s a y. I d on't w ant to s o und u ngra te fu l, s in ce A ib ile en's th e o ne w ho g o t m e th e jo b. B ut I c an't h elp b ut th in k th at I 'v e ju st d oub le d m y tr o ub le , w hat w it h M is s H illy a nd n o w M is te r Jo hnny to o.
"M in ny, I b een m eanin g to a sk y o u." A ib ile en c le ars h er th ro at. " Y ou k no w th at M is s S keete r? " "T all o ne, u se d to c o m e o ver to M is s W alt e rs fo r b rid ge?" "Y eah, w hat y o u th in k a b out h er? " "I d on't k no w , s h e w hit e ju st lik e th e r e st o f e m . W hy? W hat s h e s a y a b out m e?" "N oth in g a b out y o u," A ib ile en s a ys. " S he ju st . . . a fe w w eek s a go , I d on't k no w w hy I k eep th in k in g a b out it . S he a sk m e s o m eth in g. A sk d o I w ant to c hange th in gs. W hit e w om an n ever ask ed --" But th en L ero y s tu m ble s in fr o m th e b ed ro om w antin g h is c o ffe e b efo re h is la te s h if t.
"S ho ot, h e's u p ," I s a y. " T alk q uic k ." "N aw , n ever m in d . I t's n o th in g," A ib ile en s a ys.
"W hat? W hat's g o in g o n? W hat th at la d y te ll y o u?" "It w as ju st ja b ber. I t w as n o nse nse ." ch ap te r 4 M Y F IR ST W EEK a t M is s C elia 's , I s c ru b th e h o use u ntil th ere is n 't a d ust r a g o r a s tr ip ped s h eet o r e ven a r u n p anty h o se le ft to w ip e w it h . S eco nd w eek , I s c ru b th e h o use a gain b ecause it 's lik e t h e d ir t g re w b ack . T hir d w eek , I a m s a tis fie d a nd s e ttle in m y w ays.
E very d ay, M is s C elia lo oks lik e s h e ju st c an't b elie ve I 'v e c o m e b ack to w ork . I 'm th e o nly th in g t h at in te rru p ts a ll th at q uie t a ro und h er. M y h o use is a lw ays fu ll o f fiv e k id s a nd n eig hb ors a nd a h usb and . M ost d ays w hen I c o m e in to M is s C elia 's , I a m g ra te fu l fo r th e p eace.
M y h o use k eep in g ta sk s fa ll o n th e s a m e d ay fo r e very jo b I ta k e: o n M ond ay, I o il u p th e fu rn it u re .
T uesd ay, I w ash a nd ir o n th e d am n s h eets , th e d ay I h ate . W ed nesd ay is fo r s c ru b bin g th e b ath tu b r e al g o od e ven th o ugh I w ip e it d ow n e very m orn in g. T hurs d ay is fo r p olis h in g flo ors a nd s u ck in g r u gs, m in d in g th e a ntiq ue o nes w it h a h and b ro om s o th ey d on't th re ad . F rid ay is h eavy c o okin g fo r t h e w eek end a nd w hat- h ave-y o u. A nd e very d ay is m oppin g, w ash in g c lo th es a nd ir o nin g s h ir ts s o t h ey d on't g o g ettin g o ut o f h and , a nd g enera lly k eep in g th in gs c le an. S ilv er a nd w in d ow s, th ey'r e a s n eed ed . S in ce th ere a re n't a ny k id s to lo ok a fte r, th ere 's a m ple tim e le ft fo r M is s C elia 's s o -c alle d c o okin g le sso n.
M is s C elia n ever d oes a ny e nte rta in in g, s o w e ju st fix w hate ver s h e a nd M is te r J o hnny a re h avin g fo r s u p per: p ork c ho ps, fr ie d c hic k en, r o ast b eef, c hic k en p ie , la m b r a ck , b ak ed h am , fr ie d to m ato es, m ash ed p ota to es, p lu s th e v egeta b le s. O r a t le ast I c o ok a nd M is s C elia fid gets , lo okin g m ore lik e a f iv e-y ear- o ld th an th e r ic h la d y p ayin g m y r e nt. W hen th e le sso n's o ver, s h e r u sh es b ack to la yin g d ow n. I n fa ct, th e o nly tim e M is s C elia w alk s te n fe et is to c o m e in th e k it c hen fo r h er le sso n o r to s n eak u p sta ir s e very tw o o r th re e d ays, u p in th e c re ep y r o om s.
I d on't k no w w hat s h e d oes fo r fiv e m in ute s o n th e s e co nd flo or. I d on't lik e it u p th ere th o ugh.
T ho se b ed ro om s s h o uld b e s ta ck ed fu ll o f k id s la ughin g a nd h o lle rin g a nd p oopin g u p th e p la ce. B ut i t 's n o ne o f m y b usin ess w hat M is s C elia d oes w it h h er d ay, a nd a sk m e, I 'm g la d s h e's s ta yin g o ut o f m y w ay. I 'v e fo llo w ed la d ie s a ro und w it h a b ro om in o ne h and a nd a tr a sh c an in th e o th er tr y in g to k eep u p w it h th eir m ess. A s lo ng a s s h e s ta ys in th at b ed , th en I 'v e g o t a jo b. E ven th o ugh s h e h as z e ro k id s a nd n o th in g to d o a ll d ay, s h e is th e la zie st w om an I 'v e e ver s e en.
In clu din g m y s is te r D ore ena w ho n ever lif te d a r o yal fin ger g ro w in g u p b ecause s h e h ad th e h eart d efe ct th at w e la te r f o und o ut w as a fly o n th e X -ra y m achin e.
A nd it 's n o t ju st th e b ed . M is s C elia w on't le ave th e house e xcep t to g et h er h air fr o ste d a nd h er e nd s tr im med . S o fa r, th at's o nly h ap pened o nce in th e th re e w eek s I 'v e b een w ork in g. T hir ty -six y ears o ld a nd I c an s till h ear m y m am a te llin g m e, It a in 't n obody's b usin ess.
B ut I w ant to k no w w hat th at la d y's s o s c are d o f o uts id e th is p la ce.
E V ERY P A Y DAY, I g iv e M is s C elia th e c o unt. " N in ety -n in e m ore d ays till y o u te ll M is te r J o hnny b out m e." "G olly , th e tim e's g o in g b y q uic k ," s h e'll s a y w it h k in d o f a s ic k lo ok.
"C at g o t o n th e p orc h th is m orn in g, b out g iv e m e a c ad illa c a rre st th in k in g it w as M is te r J o hnny." Lik e m e, M is s C elia g ets a lit tle m ore n erv o us th e c lo se r w e g et to th e d ead lin e. I d on't k no w w hat th at m an w ill d o w hen s h e te lls h im . M ayb e h e'll te ll h er to fir e m e.
"I h o pe th at's e no ugh tim e, M in ny. D o y o u th in k I 'm g ettin g a ny b ette r a t c o okin g?" s h e s a ys, a nd I lo ok a t h er. S he's g o t a p re tty s m ile , w hit e s tr a ig ht te eth , b ut s h e is th e w ors t c o ok I h ave e ver s e en.
So I b ack u p a nd te ach h er th e s im ple st th in gs b ecause I w ant h er to le arn a nd le arn it fa st. S ee, I need h er to e xp la in to h er h usb and w hy a h und re d -a nd -six ty -fiv e-p ound N egro w om an h as k eys to his h o use . I n eed h im to k no w w hy I h ave h is s te rlin g s ilv er a nd M is s C elia 's z illio n-k ara t r u b y earrin gs in m y h and e very d ay. I need h im to k no w th is b efo re h e w alk s in o ne fin e d ay a nd c alls th e polic e. O r s a ves a d im e a nd ta k es c are o f b usin ess h im se lf .
"G et th e h am h o ck o ut, m ak e s u re y o u g o t e no ugh w ate r in th ere , th at's r ig ht. N ow tu rn u p th e fla m e. S ee th at lit tle b ub ble th ere , th at m eans th e w ate r's h ap py." Mis s C elia s ta re s d ow n in to th e p ot lik e s h e's lo okin g fo r h er fu tu re . " A re y o u h ap py, M in ny?" "W hy y o u a sk m e fu nny q uestio ns lik e th at? " "B ut a re y o u?" "C ours e I 's h ap py. Y ou h ap py to o. B ig h o use , b ig y ard , h usb and lo okin g a fte r y o u." I fr o w n a t M is s Celia a nd I m ak e s u re s h e c an s e e it . B ecause a in 't th at w hit e p eo ple fo r y o u, w ond erin g if th ey a re hap py en ough .
And w hen M is s C elia b urn s th e b eans, I tr y a nd u se s o m e o f th at s e lf - c o ntr o l m y m am a s w ore I w as born w it h o ut. " A lr ig ht," I s a y th ro ugh m y te eth , " w e'll d o a no th er b atc h fo re M is te r J o hnny g et ho m e." Any o th er w om an I 'v e w ork ed fo r, I w ould 'v e lo ved to h ave h ad ju st o ne h o ur o f b ossin g th em aro und , s e e h o w th ey lik e it . B ut M is s C elia , th e w ay s h e s ta re s a t m e w it h th o se b ig e yes lik e I 'm th e b est th in g s in ce h air s p ra y in th e c an, I a lm ost r a th er s h e'd o rd er m e a ro und lik e s h e's s u p pose d to . I s ta rt to w ond er if h er la yin g d ow n a ll th e tim e h as a nyth in g to d o w it h h er n o t te llin g M is te r Jo hnny a b out m e. I g uess s h e c an s e e th e s u sp ic io us in m y e ye to o, b ecause o ne d ay, o ut o f th e b lu e sh e s a ys:
"I g et th ese n ig htm are s a lo t, th at I h ave to g o b ack to S ugar D it c h a nd liv e? T hat's w hy I la y d ow n so m uch." T hen s h e n o ds r e al fa st, lik e s h e's b een r e hears in g th is . " C ause I d on't s le ep r e al w ell a t nig ht." I g iv e h er a s tu p id s m ile , lik e I r e ally b elie ve th is , a nd g o b ack to w ip in g th e m ir ro rs .
"D on't d o it to o g o od. L eave s o m e s m ud ges." It's a lw ays s o m eth in g, m ir ro rs , flo ors , a d ir ty g la ss in th e s in k o r th e tr a sh c an fu ll. " W e'v e g o t to mak e it b elie vab le ," s h e'll s a y a nd I fin d m yse lf r e achin g fo r th at d ir ty g la ss a h und re d tim es to w ash it . I lik e th in gs c le an, p ut a w ay.
"I W IS H I C O ULD T EN D to th at a za le a b ush o ut th ere ," M is s C elia s a ys o ne d ay. S he's ta k en to la yin g o n th e c o uch w hile m y s to rie s a re o n, in te rru p tin g th e w ho le tim e. I 'v e b een tu ned in to The Guid in g L ig ht fo r tw enty -fo ur y ears , s in ce I w as te n y ears o ld a nd lis te nin g to it o n M am a's r a d io .
A D re ft c o m merc ia l c o m es o n a nd M is s C elia s ta re s o ut th e b ack w in d ow a t th e c o lo re d m an r a k in g up th e le aves. S he's g o t s o m any a za le a b ush es, h er y ard 's g o in g to lo ok lik e Gone W it h t h e W in d co m e s p rin g. I d on't lik e a za le as a nd I s u re d id n't lik e th at m ovie , th e w ay th ey m ad e s la very lo ok lik e a b ig h ap py te a p arty . I f I 'd p la yed M am my, I 'd o f to ld S carle tt to s tic k th o se g re en d ra p erie s u p her w hit e lit tle p ooper. M ak e h er o w n d am n m an-c atc hin g d re ss.
"A nd I k no w I c o uld m ak e th at r o se b ush b lo om if I p ru ned it b ack ," M is s C elia s a ys. " B ut th e fir s t th in g I 'd d o is c ut d ow n th at m im osa tr e e." "W hat's w ro ng w it h th at tr e e?" I p re ss th e c o rn er o f m y ir o n in to M is te r J o hnny's c o lla r- p oin t. I d on't even h ave a s h ru b , m uch le ss a tr e e, in m y e ntir e y ard .
"I d on't lik e th o se h air y flo w ers ." S he g aze s o ff lik e s h e's g o ne s o ft in th e h ead . " T hey lo ok lik e lit tle bab y h air s ." I g et th e c re ep ers w it h h er ta lk in g th at w ay. " Y ou k no w a b out flo w ers ? " She s ig hs. " I u se d to lo ve to te nd to m y flo w ers b ack in S ugar D it c h. I le arn ed to g ro w th in gs h o pin g I c o uld p re tty u p a ll th at u glin ess." "G o h ead o uts id e th en," I s a y, tr y in g n o t to s o und to o e xcit e d . " T ak e s o m e e xerc is e . G et s o m e fr e sh air ." Get o ut a h ere .
"N o," M is s C elia s ig hs. " I s h o uld n't b e r u nnin g a ro und o ut th ere . I n eed to b e s till. " It's r e ally s ta rtin g to ir rit a te m e h o w s h e n ever le aves th e h o use , h o w s h e s m ile s lik e th e m aid w alk in g in e very m orn in g is th e b est p art o f h er d ay. I t's lik e a n it c h. E very d ay I r e ach fo r it a nd c an't q uit e sc ra tc h it . E very d ay, it it c hes a lit tle w ors e . E very d ay s h e's th ere .
"M ayb e y o u o ught to g o m ak e s o m e fr ie nd s," I s a y. " L ot a la d ie s y o ur a ge in to w n." She fr o w ns u p a t m e. " I'v e b een tr y in g. I c an't te ll y o u th e u m pte en tim es I 'v e c alle d th o se la d ie s to se e if I c an h elp w it h th e C hild re n's B enefit o r d o s o m eth in g fr o m h o m e. B ut th ey w on't c all m e back . N one o f th em ." I d on't s a y a nyth in g to th is b ecause a in 't th at a s u rp ris e . W it h h er b oso m s h angin g o ut a nd h er h air co lo re d G old N ugget. "G o s h o ppin g th en. G o g et y o u s o m e n ew c lo th es. G o d o w hate ver w hit e w om en d o w hen th e maid 's h o m e." "N o, I th in k I 'll g o r e st a w hile ," s h e s a ys a nd tw o m in ute s la te r I h ear h er c re ep in g a ro und u p sta ir s in th e e m pty b ed ro om s.
The m im osa b ra nch k no ck s a gain st th e w in d ow a nd I ju m p, b urn m y th um b. I s q ueeze m y e yes s h ut to s lo w m y h eart. N in ety -fo ur m ore d ays o f th is m ess a nd I d on't k no w h o w I c an ta k e a m in ute more .
"M am a, fix m e s o m eth in g to e at. I 'm h ungry ." T hat's w hat m y y o ungest g ir l, K in d ra , w ho 's fiv e, s a id to m e la st n ig ht. W it h a h and o n h er h ip a nd h er fo ot s tu ck o ut.
I h ave fiv e k id s a nd I ta k e p rid e th at I ta ught th em yes m a'a m a nd ple a se b efo re th ey c o uld e ven sa y co okie .
All e xcep t o ne.
"Y ou a in 't h avin g n o th in g till s u p per," I to ld h er.
"W hy y o u s o m ean to m e? I hate y o u," s h e y elle d a nd r a n o ut th e d oor.
I s e t m y e yes o n th e c eilin g b ecause th at's a s h o ck I w ill n ever g et u se d to , e ven w it h fo ur b efo re h er.
The d ay y o ur c hild s a ys s h e h ate s y o u, a nd e very c hild w ill g o th ro ugh th e p hase , it k ic k s lik e a fo ot in th e s to m ach.
But K in d ra , L ord . I t's n o t ju st a p hase I 'm s e ein g. T hat g ir l is tu rn in g o ut ju st lik e m e.
I'm s ta nd in g in M is s C elia 's k it c hen th in k in g a b out la st n ig ht, w hat w it h K in d ra a nd h er m outh , B enny and h is a sth m a, m y h usb and L ero y c o m in g h o m e d ru nk tw o tim es la st w eek . H e k no w s th at's th e one th in g I c an't s ta nd a fte r n urs in g m y d ru nk d ad dy fo r te n y ears , m e a nd M am a w ork in g o urs e lv es to d eath s o h e h ad a fu ll b ottle . I g uess I o ught to b e m ore u p se t a b out a ll th is , b ut la st n ig ht, a s a n I'm s o rry , L ero y c am e h o m e w it h a s a ck o f e arly o kra . H e k no w s it 's m y fa vo rit e th in g to e at.
Tonig ht I 'm g o in g to fr y u p th at o kra in s o m e c o rn m eal a nd e at lik e m y m am a n ever le t m e.
That's n o t th e o nly tr e at to m y d ay e it h er. I t's O cto ber fir s t a nd h ere I a m p eelin g p eaches. M is te r Jo hnny's m am a b ro ught b ack tw o c ra te s fr o m M exic o , h eavy a s b ase b alls . T hey a re r ip e a nd s w eet and lik e c uttin g th ro ugh b utte r. I d on't ta k e c harit y fr o m w hit e la d ie s b ecause I know th ey ju st w ant me to o w e th em . B ut w hen M is s C elia to ld m e to ta k e a d oze n p eaches h o m e I p ulle d o ut a s a ck and p lo pped tw elv e r ig ht in . W hen I g et h o m e to nig ht, I 'm e atin g fr ie d o kra fo r s u p per a nd p each co bble r fo r d esse rt.
I'm w atc hin g th e lo ng, fu zzy p eel fo ld d ow n in to M is s C elia 's b asin , p ayin g n o m in d a t a ll to th e driv ew ay. U su ally w hen I 'm s ta nd in g a t h er k it c hen s in k , I m ap o ut m y g eta w ay fr o m M is te r J o hnny.
The k it c hen's th e b est r o om fo r it b ecause th e fr o nt w in d ow lo oks o ut to th e s tr e et. T all a za le a bush es h id e m y fa ce, b ut I c an s e e th ro ugh e no ugh to s p ot a n a p pro acher. I f h e c am e in th e fr o nt door, th e b ack d oor w ould e sc ap e m e in to th e g ara ge. I f h e c am e in th e b ack , I c o uld s lip o ut th e fr o nt. A no th er d oor in th e k it c hen le ad s o ut to th e b ack yard , ju st in c ase . B ut w hat w it h th e ju ic e ru nnin g d ow n m y h and a nd m e n eara b out d ru nk o n th e b utte r s m ell, I a m lo st in a p each-p eelin g re verie . I d on't e ven n o tic e th e b lu e tr u ck p ull in .
The m an's m ad e it h alf w ay u p th e w alk b y th e tim e I lo ok u p . I c atc h a s liv er o f a w hit e s h ir t, th e varie ty o f w hic h I 'm u se d to ir o nin g e very d ay, a nd th e le g o f a p air o f k hak i p ants lik e I h ang u p in Mis te r J o hnny's c lo se t. I c ho ke o n a y elp . M y k nif e c la tte rs in th e s in k .
"M is s C elia !" I d ash in to h er b ed ro om . " M is te r J o hnny hom e !" Mis s C elia ju m ps o ut o f b ed fa ste r th an I 'v e s e en h er m ove b efo re . I tu rn a ro und in a n id io t c ir c le .
Where a m I g oin g? W hic h w ay d o I g o? W hat h appen ed t o m y g eta w ay p la n?
A nd th en I s n ap in to d ecis io n--th e g uest b ath ro om !
I s lip in a nd k eep th e d oor c ra ck ed . I c ro uch u p o n th e to ile t s e at s o h e c an't s e e m y fe et u nd er th e door. I t's d ark in h ere a nd h o t. I fe el lik e m y h ead 's o n fir e . S w eat d rip s o ff m y c hin a nd s p la ts o n th e flo or. I fe el s ic k b y th e th ic k s m ell o f g ard enia s o ap s b y th e s in k .
I h ear fo ots te p s. I h o ld m y b re ath .
The fo ots te p s s to p. M y h eart is th um pin g lik e a c at in a c lo th es d ry er. W hat if M is s C elia p re te nd s sh e d oesn 't k no w m e s o s h e w on't g et in tr o ub le ? A cts lik e I 'm a b urg la r? Oh, I h ate h er! I h ate th at s tu pid w om an!
I lis te n, b ut a ll I c an h ear is m y o w n p antin g. T he th ud -th ud in m y c hest. M y a nk le s h urt a nd c re ak , ho ld in g u p m y b ody lik e th is .
My e yes g ro w s h arp er in th e d ark . A fte r a m in ute , I s e e m yse lf in th e m ir ro r o ver th e s in k . C ro uched lik e a fo ol o n to p o f a w hit e la d y's to ile t.
Look a t m e. L ook w hat it 's c o m e to fo r M in ny J a ck so n to m ak e a d am n liv in g.
MIS S S K EETE R ch ap te r 5 I D RIV E M Y m am a's C ad illa c fa st o n th e g ra vel r o ad , h ead ed h o m e. P ats y C lin e c an't e ven b e h eard o n th e r a d io a nym ore , fo r a ll th e r o ck s b angin g th e s id e o f th e c ar. M oth er w ould b e fu rio us, b ut I ju st d riv e fa ste r. I c an't s to p th in k in g a b out w hat H illy s a id to m e to day a t b rid ge c lu b .
H illy a nd E liz a b eth a nd I h ave b een b est fr ie nd s s in ce P ow er E le m enta ry . M y fa vo rit e p ho to gra p h is o f th e th re e o f u s s it tin g in th e fo otb all s ta nd s in ju nio r h ig h, a ll ja m med to geth er, s h o uld er to s h o uld er. W hat m ak es th e p ic tu re , th o ugh, is th at th e s ta nd s a re c o m ple te ly e m pty a ro und u s. W e s a t c lo se b ecause w e w ere c lo se .
A t O le M is s, H illy a nd I r o om ed to geth er fo r tw o y ears b efo re s h e le ft to g et m arrie d a nd I s ta yed o n to g ra d uate . I r o lle d th ir te en c urle rs in h er h air e very n ig ht a t th e C hi O mega h o use . B ut to day, s h e th re ate ned to th ro w m e o ut o f th e L eague. N ot th at I c are s o m uch a b out th e L eague, b ut I w as h urt b y h o w e asily m y fr ie nd w ould b e w illin g to c ast m e a sid e.
I tu rn u p th e la ne th at le ad s to L ongle af, m y fa m ily 's c o tto n p la nta tio n. T he g ra vel q uie ts to s m ooth , y ello w d ust a nd I s lo w d ow n b efo re M oth er s e es h o w fa st I 'm d riv in g. I p ull u p to th e h o use a nd g et o ut. M oth er is r o ck in g o n th e fr o nt p orc h.
" C om e s it , d arlin g," s h e s a ys, w avin g m e to w ard a r o ck in g c hair b esid e h er. " P asc ago ula 's ju st w axed th e flo ors . L et th em d ry a w hile ." " A lr ig ht, M am a." I k is s h er p ow dery c heek . B ut I d on't s it . I le an o n th e p orc h r a ilin g, lo ok o ut o n t h e th re e m ossy o ak tr e es in th e fr o nt y ard . E ven th o ugh it 's o nly fiv e m in ute s o uts id e o f to w n, m ost p eo ple c o nsid er th is th e c o untr y o ut h ere . S urro und in g o ur y ard lie te n th o usa nd a cre s o f D ad dy's c o tto n fie ld s, th e p la nts g re en a nd s tr o ng, ta ll a s m y w ais t. A fe w c o lo re d m en s it u nd er a d is ta nt s h ed , s ta rin g in to th e h eat. E very o ne is w ait in g fo r th e s a m e th in g, fo r th e c o tto n b olls to o pen.
I th in k a b out h o w th in gs a re d if fe re nt b etw een H illy a nd m e, s in ce I c am e h o m e fr o m s c ho ol. B ut w ho is th e d if fe re nt p ers o n, h er o r m e?
" D id I te ll y o u?" M oth er s a ys. " F anny P eatr o w g o t e ngaged ." " G ood fo r F anny." " N ot e ven a m onth a fte r s h e g o t th at te lle r jo b a t th e F arm er's B ank ." " T hat's g re at, M oth er." " I k no w ," s h e s a ys, a nd I tu rn to s e e o ne o f th o se lig htb ulb -p oppin g lo oks o f h ers . " W hy d on't y o u g o d ow n to th e b ank a nd a p ply fo r a te lle r jo b?" " I d on't w ant to b e a b ank te lle r, M am a." M oth er s ig hs, n arro w s h er e yes a t th e s p anie l, S helb y, lic k in g h is n eth er p arts . I e ye th e fr o nt d oor, t e m pte d to r u in th e c le an flo ors a nyw ay. W e'v e h ad th is c o nvers a tio n s o m any tim es.
" F our y ears m y d aughte r g o es o ff to c o lle ge a nd w hat d oes s h e c o m e h o m e w it h ?" s h e a sk s. "A d ip lo m a?" "A p re tty p ie ce o f p ap er," M oth er s a ys.
"I to ld y o u. I d id n't m eet a nyb ody I w ante d to m arry ," I s a y.
Moth er r is e s fr o m h er c hair , c o m es c lo se s o I 'll lo ok h er in h er s m ooth , p re tty fa ce. S he's w earin g a navy b lu e d re ss, n arro w a lo ng h er s lim b ones. A s u su al h er lip stic k is ju st s o , b ut w hen s h e s te p s in to th e b rig ht a fte rn o on s u n, I s e e d ark s ta in s, d eep a nd d rie d , o n th e fr o nt o f h er c lo th es. I s q uin t m y eyes, tr y in g to s e e if th e s ta in s a re r e ally th ere . " M am a? A re y o u fe elin g b ad ?" "If y o u'd ju st s h o w a lit tle g um ptio n, E ugenia --" "Y our d re ss is a ll d ir ty o n th e fr o nt." Moth er c ro sse s h er a rm s. " N ow , I ta lk ed to F anny's m oth er a nd s h e s a id F anny w as p ra ctic ally sw im min g in o pportu nit ie s o nce s h e g o t th at jo b." I d ro p th e d re ss is su e. I 'll n ever b e a b le to te ll M oth er I w ant to b e a w rit e r. S he'll o nly tu rn it in to yet a no th er th in g th at s e p ara te s m e fr o m th e m arrie d g ir ls . N or c an I te ll h er a b out C harle s G ra y, m y math s tu d y p artn er la st s p rin g, a t O le M is s. H ow h e'd g o tte n d ru nk s e nio r y ear a nd k is se d m e a nd th en s q ueeze d m y h and s o h ard it s h o uld 'v e h urt b ut it d id n't , it fe lt w ond erfu l th e w ay h e w as ho ld in g m e a nd lo okin g in to m y e yes. A nd th en h e m arrie d fiv e-fo ot J e nny S prig .
What I n eed ed to d o w as fin d a n a p artm ent in to w n, th e k in d o f b uild in g w here s in gle , p la in g ir ls liv ed , s p in ste rs , s e cre ta rie s, te achers . B ut th e o ne tim e I h ad m entio ned u sin g m oney fr o m m y tr u st fu nd , M oth er h ad c rie d --re al te ars . " T hat is n o t w hat th at m oney's fo r, E ugenia . T o liv e in s o m e ro om in g h o use w it h s tr a nge c o okin g s m ells a nd s to ck in gs h angin g o ut th e w in d ow . A nd w hen th e money r u ns o ut, w hat th en? W hat w ill y o u liv e o n?" T hen s h e'd d ra p ed a c o ld c lo th o n h er h ead a nd go ne to b ed fo r th e d ay.
And n o w s h e's g rip pin g th e r a il, w ait in g to s e e if I 'll d o w hat fa t F anny P eatr o w d id to s a ve h ers e lf .
My o w n m oth er is lo okin g a t m e a s if I c o m ple te ly b affle h er m in d w it h m y lo oks, m y h eig ht, m y h air .
To s a y I h ave fr iz zy h air is a n u nd ers ta te m ent. I t is k in k y, m ore p ub ic th an c ra nia l, a nd w hit is h b lo nd , bre ak in g o ff e asily , lik e h ay. M y s k in is fa ir a nd w hile s o m e c all th is c re am y, it c an lo ok d ow nrig ht death ly w hen I 'm s e rio us, w hic h is a ll th e tim e. A ls o , th ere 's a s lig ht b um p o f c artila ge a lo ng th e to p of m y n o se . B ut m y e yes a re c o rn flo w er b lu e, lik e M oth er's . I 'm to ld th at's m y b est fe atu re .
"It's a ll a b out p uttin g y o urs e lf in a m an-m eetin g s it u atio n w here y o u c an--" "M am a," I s a y, ju st w antin g to e nd th is c o nvers a tio n, " w ould it r e ally b e s o te rrib le if I n ever m et a husb and ?" Moth er c lu tc hes h er b are a rm s a s if m ad e c o ld b y th e th o ught. " D on't . D on't s a y th at, E ugenia . W hy, every w eek I s e e a no th er m an in to w n o ver s ix fe et a nd I th in k , If E ugen ia w ould j u st t r y . . ." S he pre sse s h er h and to h er s to m ach, th e v ery th o ught a d vancin g h er u lc ers .
I s lip o ff m y fla ts a nd w alk d ow n th e fr o nt p orc h s te p s, w hile M oth er c alls o ut fo r m e to p ut m y sh o es b ack o n, th re ate nin g r in gw orm , m osq uit o e ncep halit is . T he in evit a b ilit y o f d eath b y n o s h o es.
Death b y n o h usb and . I s h ud der w it h th e s a m e le ft- b ehin d fe elin g I 'v e h ad s in ce I g ra d uate d fr o m co lle ge, th re e m onth s a go . I 'v e b een d ro pped o ff in a p la ce I d o n o t b elo ng a nym ore . C erta in ly n o t here w it h M oth er a nd D ad dy, m ayb e n o t e ven w it h H illy a nd E liz a b eth .
". . . h ere y o u a re tw enty -th re e y ears o ld a nd I 'd a lr e ad y h ad C arlt o n J r. a t y o ur a ge . . ." M oth er sa ys.
I s ta nd u nd er th e p in k c re p e m yrtle tr e e, w atc hin g M oth er o n th e p orc h. T he d ay lilie s h ave lo st th eir blo om s. I t is n early S ep te m ber.
I W AS N OT a c ute b ab y. W hen I w as b orn , m y o ld er b ro th er, C arlt o n, lo oked a t m e a nd d ecla re d to th e h o sp it a l r o om , " It's n o t a b ab y, it 's a s k eete r!" a nd fr o m th ere th e n am e s tu ck . I w as lo ng a nd le ggy a nd m osq uit o -th in , a r e co rd -b re ak in g tw enty -fiv e in ches a t B ap tis t H osp it a l. T he n am e g re w even m ore a ccura te w it h m y p oin ty , b eak -lik e n o se w hen I w as a c hild . M oth er's s p ent m y e ntir e lif e tr y in g to c o nvin ce p eo ple to c all m e b y m y g iv en n am e, E ugenia .
Mrs . C harlo tte B oud re au C antr e lle P hela n d oes n o t lik e n ic k nam es.
By s ix te en I w asn 't ju st n o t p re tty , I w as p ain fu lly ta ll. T he k in d o f ta ll th at p uts a g ir l in th e b ack r o w of c la ss p ic tu re s w it h th e b oys. T he k in d o f ta ll w here y o ur m oth er s p end s h er n ig hts ta k in g d ow n hem s, y ank in g a t s w eate r s le eves, fla tte nin g y o ur h air fo r d ances y o u h ad n't b een a sk ed to , fin ally pre ssin g th e to p o f y o ur h ead a s if s h e c o uld s h rin k y o u b ack to th e y ears w hen s h e h ad to r e m in d yo u to s ta nd u p s tr a ig ht. B y th e tim e I w as s e vente en, M oth er w ould r a th er I s u ffe re d fr o m ap ople ctic d ia rrh ea th an s ta nd u p s tr a ig ht. S he w as fiv e-fo ot- fo ur a nd fir s t- ru nner- u p a s M is s S outh Caro lin a. S he d ecid ed th ere w as o nly o ne th in g to d o in a c ase lik e m in e.
Mrs . C harlo tte P hela n's G uid e to H usb and -H untin g, R ule N um ber O ne: a p re tty , p etit e g ir l s h o uld accentu ate w it h m ak eup a nd g o od p ostu re . A ta ll p la in o ne, w it h a tr u st fu nd .
I w as fiv e-fo ot- e le ven b ut I h ad tw enty -fiv e th o usa nd c o tto n d olla rs in m y n am e a nd if th e b eauty in th at w as n o t a p pare nt th en, b y G od, h e w asn 't s m art e no ugh to b e in th e fa m ily a nyw ay.
. . .
MY C HIL D HO OD B ED RO OM is th e to p flo or o f m y p are nts ' h o use . I t h as w hit e -fr o stin g c hair ra ils a nd p in k c heru b s in th e m old in g. I t's p ap ere d in m in t g re en r o se b ud s. I t is a ctu ally th e a ttic w it h lo ng, s lo pin g w alls , a nd I c anno t s ta nd s tr a ig ht in m any p la ces. T he b ox b ay w in d ow m ak es th e ro om lo ok r o und . A fte r M oth er b era te s m e a b out fin d in g a h usb and e very o th er d ay, I h ave to s le ep in a w ed din g c ak e. And y et, it is m y s a nctu ary . T he h eat s w ells a nd g ath ers lik e a h o t- a ir b allo on u p h ere , n o t e xactly welc o m in g o th ers . T he s ta ir s a re n arro w a nd d if fic ult fo r p are nts to c lim b. O ur p re vio us m aid , Consta ntin e, u se d to s ta re th o se fo rw ard -slo pin g s ta ir s d ow n e very d ay, lik e it w as a b attle b etw een th em . T hat w as th e o nly p art I d id n't lik e a b out h avin g th e to p flo or o f th e h o use , th at it s e p ara te d me fr o m m y C onsta ntin e.
Thre e d ays a fte r m y c o nvers a tio n w it h M oth er o n th e p orc h, I s p re ad o ut th e h elp -w ante d a d s fr o m th e Ja ck so n J o urn al o n m y d esk . A ll m orn in g, M oth er's b een fo llo w in g m e a ro und w it h a n ew h air - str a ig hte nin g th in g w hile D ad dy's b een o n th e fr o nt p orc h g ro w lin g a nd g o ddam nin g th e c o tto n fie ld s because th ey'r e m elt in g lik e s u m mer s n o w . B esid es b oll w eevils , r a in is ju st a b out th e w ors t th in g th at c an h ap pen a t h arv est tim e. I t's h ard ly S ep te m ber b ut th e fa ll d re nches h ave a lr e ad y b egun.
My r e d p en in h and , I s c an th e s q uat, s in gle c o lu m n u nd er H ELP W AN TED : F EM ALE.
Ken nin gto n's D ep t. S tr. s e ek s s a le sg ir ls w /p ois e , m anners & a s m ile !
Trim , y o ung s e cre ta ry w ante d . T yp in g n ot n ec. C all M r. S anders.
J e su s, if h e d oesn 't w ant h er to ty p e, w hat d oes h e w ant h er to d o?
Jr. S te n ogra pher w ante d , P erc y & G ra y, L P, $ 1.2 5/h r.
T his is n ew . I d ra w a c ir c le a ro und it .
No o ne c o uld a rg ue th at I h ad n't w ork ed h ard a t O le M is s. W hile m y fr ie nd s w ere o ut d rin k in g r u m and C okes a t P hi D elt a T heta p artie s a nd p in nin g o n m um c o rs a ges, I s a t in th e s tu d y p arlo r a nd wro te fo r h o urs --m ostly te rm p ap ers b ut a ls o s h o rt s to rie s, b ad p oetr y , e p is o des o f Dr. K ild are , P all Mall jin gle s, le tte rs o f c o m pla in t, r a nso m n o te s, lo ve le tte rs to b oys I 'd s e en in c la ss b ut h ad n't h ad th e n erv e to s p eak to , a ll o f w hic h I n ever m aile d . S ure , I d re am ed o f h avin g fo otb all d ate s, b ut m y re al d re am w as th at o ne d ay I w ould w rit e s o m eth in g th at p eo ple w ould a ctu ally r e ad .
Fourth te rm o f m y s e nio r y ear, I o nly a p plie d to o ne jo b, b ut it w as a g o od o ne, b ein g s ix h und re d mile s a w ay fr o m M is sis sip pi. P ilin g tw enty -tw o d im es in th e O xfo rd M art p ay p ho ne, I 'd in q uir e d ab out a n e d it o r p osit io n a t th e H arp er & R ow p ub lis h in g h o use o n 3 3rd S tr e et in M anhatta n. I 'd se en th e a d in The N ew Y o rk T im es d ow n a t th e O le M is s lib ra ry a nd m aile d th em m y r e su m e th at very d ay. O n a s p rig o f h o pe, I e ven c alle d a b out a n a p artm ent lis tin g o n E ast 8 5th S tr e et, a o ne- bed ro om w it h h o t p la te fo r fo rty -fiv e d olla rs a m onth . D elt a A ir lin es to ld m e a o ne-w ay tic k et to Id le w ild A ir p ort w ould c o st s e venty -th re e d olla rs . I d id n't h ave th e s e nse to a p ply fo r m ore th an o ne jo b a t a tim e a nd I n ever e ven h eard b ack fr o m th em .
My e yes d rif t d ow n to H ELP W AN TED : M ALE. T here a re a t le ast fo ur c o lu m ns fille d w it h b ank managers , a cco unta nts , lo an o ffic ers , c o tto n c o lla te o pera to rs . O n th is s id e o f th e p age, P erc y & Gra y, L P, is o ffe rin g J r. S te no gra p hers fif ty c ents m ore a n h o ur.
"M is s S K EETER , y o u g o t a p ho ne c all, " I h ear P asc ago ula h o lle r a t th e b otto m o f th e s ta ir s . I g o d ow nsta ir s to th e o nly p ho ne in th e h o use . P asc ago ula h o ld s th e p ho ne o ut to m e. S he is a s tin y as a c hild , n o t e ven fiv e fe et ta ll, a nd b la ck a s n ig ht. H er h air is c urly a ro und h er h ead a nd h er w hit e unif o rm d re ss h as b een ta ilo re d to fit h er s h o rt a rm s a nd le gs.
"M is s H illy o n th e p ho ne fo r y o u," s h e s a ys, a nd h and s it to m e w it h a w et h and .
I s it a t th e w hit e ir o n ta b le . T he k it c hen is la rg e a nd s q uare a nd h o t. B la ck -a nd -w hit e lin o le um tile s are c ra ck ed in p la ces, w orn th in in fr o nt o f th e s in k . T he n ew s ilv er d is h w ash in g m achin e s it s in th e mid dle o f th e r o om , a tta ched to a h o se s tr e tc hed fr o m th e fa ucet.
"H e's c o m in g n ext w eek end ," H illy s a ys. " O n S atu rd ay n ig ht. Y ou fr e e?" "G ee, le t m e c heck m y c ale nd ar," I s a y. A ll tr a ces o f o ur b rid ge-c lu b a rg um ent a re g o ne fr o m H illy 's vo ic e. I 'm s u sp ic io us b ut r e lie ved .
"I c an't b elie ve th is is fin ally g o in g to h ap pen," H illy s a ys, b ecause s h e's b een tr y in g to s e t m e u p fo r month s w it h h er h usb and 's c o usin . S he's in te nt o n it e ven th o ugh h e's m uch to o g o od-lo okin g fo r m e, no t to m entio n a s ta te s e nato r's s o n.
"D on't y o u th in k w e s h o uld ... m eet fir s t? " I a sk . " I m ean, b efo re w e g o o ut o n a n a ctu al d ate ?" "D on't b e n erv o us. W illia m a nd I w ill b e r ig ht n ext to y o u th e w ho le tim e." I s ig h. T he d ate 's b een c ancele d tw ic e a lr e ad y. I c an o nly h o pe it 'll b e p ut o ff a gain . A nd y et I 'm fla tte re d th at H illy h as s o m uch fa it h th at s o m eo ne lik e h im w ould b e in te re ste d in s o m eo ne lik e m e.
"O h, a nd I n eed y o u to c o m e o n b y a nd p ic k u p th ese n o te s," H illy s a ys. " I w ant m y in it ia tiv e in th e next n ew sle tte r, a fu ll p age n ext to th e p ho to o ps." I p ause . " T he b ath ro om th in g?" E ven th o ugh it w as o nly a fe w d ays a go th at s h e'd b ro ught th is u p a t brid ge c lu b , I 'd h o ped it w as fo rg o tte n.
"It's c alle d th e H om e H elp S anit a tio n I n it ia tiv e-- Willia m J u nio r y o u g et d ow n o r I w ill s n atc h y o u bald hea ded Y u le M ay g et in h ere --a nd I w ant it in th is w eek ." I a m e d it o r o f th e L eague n ew sle tte r. B ut H illy is p re sid ent. A nd s h e's tr y in g to te ll m e w hat to p rin t.
"I'll s e e. I d on't k no w if th ere 's r o om ," I lie .
Fro m th e s in k , P asc ago ula s n eak s a lo ok a t m e, a s if s h e c an h ear w hat H illy 's s a yin g. I lo ok o ver a t Consta ntin e's b ath ro om , n o w P asc ago ula 's . I t's o ff th e k it c hen. T he d oor's h alf o pen a nd I c an s e e a tin y r o om w it h a to ile t, a p ull s tr in g flu sh er a t th e to p, a b ulb w it h a y ello w in g p la stic s h ad e. T he s m all co rn er s in k h ard ly h o ld s a g la ss o f w ate r. I 'v e n ever o nce b een in sid e. W hen w e w ere k id s, M oth er to ld u s s h e'd s p ank u s if w e w ent in C onsta ntin e's b ath ro om . I m is s C onsta ntin e m ore th an a nyth in g I'v e e ver m is se d in m y lif e .
"T hen m ak e r o om ," H illy s a ys, " b ecause th is is p re tty d arn im porta nt." CO NSTA N TIN E L IV ED A BO UT a M IL E fr o m o ur h o use , in a s m all N egro n eig hb orh o od c alle d Hots ta ck , n am ed a fte r th e ta r p la nt th at u se d to o pera te b ack th ere . T he r o ad to H ots ta ck r u ns alo ng th e n o rth s id e o f o ur fa rm , a nd fo r a s lo ng a s I c an r e m em ber, c o lo re d k id s h ave w alk ed a nd pla yed a lo ng th at m ile s tr e tc h, k ic k in g a t th e r e d d ust, m ak in g th eir w ay to w ard th e b ig C ounty R oad 49 to c atc h a r id e.
I u se d to w alk th at h o t m ile m yse lf , w hen I w as a g ir l. I f I b egged a nd p ra ctic ed m y c ate chis m , Moth er w ould s o m etim es le t m e g o h o m e w it h C onsta ntin e o n F rid ay a fte rn o ons. A fte r tw enty min ute s o f w alk in g s lo w , w e'd p ass th e c o lo re d fiv e-a nd -d im e s to re , th en a g ro cer w it h h ens la yin g in b ack , a nd a ll a lo ng th e w ay, d oze ns o f s h ack y-lo okin g r o ad sid e h o use s w it h tin r o ofs a nd s la ntin g porc hes, a lo ng w it h a y ello w o ne th at e very b ody s a id s o ld w his k ey fr o m th e b ack d oor. I t w as a th rill to b e in s u ch a d if fe re nt w orld a nd I 'd fe el a p ric k ly a w are ness o f h o w g o od m y s h o es w ere , ho w c le an m y w hit e p in afo re d re ss th at C onsta ntin e h ad ir o ned fo r m e. T he c lo se r w e g o t to Consta ntin e's h o use , th e m ore s h e'd s m ile .
"H i- d o, C arl B ir d ," C onsta ntin e'd h o lle r a t th e r o ot- se llin g m an s it tin g in h is r o ck in g c hair o n th e back o f h is p ic k up . B ags o f s a ssa fr a s a nd lic o ric e r o ot a nd b ir d eye v in e s a t o pen fo r b arg ain in g, a nd by th e tim e w e p oked a ro und th o se a m in ute , C onsta ntin e's w ho le b ody'd b e r a m blin g a nd lo ose in th e jo in ts . C onsta ntin e w asn 't ju st ta ll, s h e w as s to ut. S he w as a ls o w id e in th e h ip s a nd h er k nees gave h er tr o ub le a ll th e tim e. A t th e s tu m p o n h er c o rn er, s h e w ould s tic k a p in ch o f H ap py D ays sn uff in h er lip a nd s p it ju ic e s tr a ig ht a s a n a rro w . S he'd le t m e lo ok a t th e b la ck p ow der in it s r o und tin , b ut s a y, " D on't te ll y o ur m am a, n o w ." There w ere a lw ays d ogs, h o llo w -sto m ached a nd m angy, la id o ut in th e r o ad . F ro m a p orc h a y o ung co lo re d w om an n am ed C at- B it e w ould h o lle r, " M is s S keete r! T ell y o ur d ad dy h ey fo r m e. T ell h im I's d oin g fin e." M y o w n d ad dy g ave h er th at n am e y ears a go . D ro ve b y a nd s a w a r a b id c at atta ck in g a lit tle c o lo re d g ir l. " T hat c at n ear a b out a te h er u p ," D ad dy'd to ld m e a fte rw ard . H e'd kille d th e c at, c arrie d th e g ir l to th e d octo r, a nd s e t h er u p fo r th e tw enty -o ne d ays o f r a b ie s s h o ts .
A lit tle fa rth er o n, w e'd g et to C onsta ntin e's h o use . I t h ad th re e r o om s a nd n o r u gs a nd I 'd lo ok a t th e s in gle p ho to gra p h s h e h ad , o f a w hit e g ir l s h e to ld m e s h e lo oked a fte r fo r tw enty y ears o ver in Port G ib so n. I w as p re tty s u re I k new e very th in g a b out C onsta ntin e--sh e h ad o ne s is te r a nd g re w up o n a s h are cro ppin g fa rm in C orin th , M is sis sip pi. B oth h er p are nts w ere d ead . S he d id n't e at p ork as a r u le a nd w ore a s iz e s ix te en d re ss a nd a s iz e te n la d ie s' s h o e. B ut I u se d to s ta re a t th e to oth y sm ile o f th at c hild in th e p ic tu re , a lit tle je alo us, w ond erin g w hy s h e d id n't h ave a p ic tu re o f m e u p to o.
Som etim es tw o g ir ls fr o m n ext d oor w ould c o m e o ver to p la y w it h m e, n am ed M ary N ell a nd M ary Roan. T hey w ere s o b la ck I c o uld n't te ll th em a p art a nd c alle d th em b oth ju st M ary .
"B e n ic e to th e lit tle c o lo re d g ir ls w hen y o u'r e d ow n th ere ," M oth er s a id to m e o ne tim e a nd I re m em ber lo okin g a t h er fu nny, s a yin g, " W hy w ould n't I b e?" B ut M oth er n ever e xp la in ed . Afte r a n h o ur o r s o , D ad dy w ould p ull u p , g et o ut, h and C onsta ntin e a d olla r. N ot o nce d id Consta ntin e in vit e h im in sid e. E ven b ack th en, I u nd ers to od w e w ere o n C onsta ntin e's tu rf a nd s h e did n't h ave to b e n ic e to a nyb ody a t h er o w n h o use . A fte rw ard , D ad dy w ould le t m e g o in th e co lo re d s to re fo r a c o ld d rin k a nd s u ck in g c and y.
"D on't te ll y o ur m am a I g ave C onsta ntin e a lit tle e xtr a , n o w ." "O kay, D ad dy," I 'd s a y. T hat's a b out th e o nly s e cre t m y d ad dy a nd I h ave e ver s h are d .
TH E F IR ST T IM E I w as e ver c alle d u gly , I w as th ir te en. I t w as a r ic h fr ie nd o f m y b ro th er Carlt o n's , o ver to s h o ot g uns in th e fie ld .
"W hy y o u c ry in g, g ir l? " C onsta ntin e a sk ed m e in th e k it c hen.
I to ld h er w hat th e b oy h ad c alle d m e, te ars s tr e am in g d ow n m y fa ce.
"W ell? I s y o u?" I b lin k ed , p ause d m y c ry in g. " Is I w hat? " "N ow y o u lo ok a h ere , E ugenia "- -b ecause C onsta ntin e w as th e o nly o ne w ho 'd o ccasio nally fo llo w Mam a's r u le . " U gly liv e u p o n th e in sid e. U gly b e a h urtfu l, m ean p ers o n. I s y o u o ne a th em peo ple s? " "I d on't k no w . I d on't th in k s o ," I s o bbed .
Consta ntin e s a t d ow n n ext to m e, a t th e k it c hen ta b le . I h eard th e c ra ck in g o f h er s w olle n jo in ts . S he pre sse d h er th um b h ard in th e p alm o f m y h and , s o m eth in g w e b oth k new m eant Lis te n . L is te n t o me.
"E ver m orn in g, u ntil y o u d ead in th e g ro und , y o u g o ne h ave to m ak e th is d ecis io n." C onsta ntin e w as so c lo se , I c o uld s e e th e b la ck ness o f h er g um s. " Y ou g o ne h ave to a sk y o urs e lf , Am I g one b elie v e what t h em f o ols s a y a bout m e t o day?
" She k ep t h er th um b p re sse d h ard in m y h and . I n o dded th at I u nd ers to od. I w as ju st s m art e no ugh to r e aliz e s h e m eant w hit e p eo ple . A nd e ven th o ugh I s till fe lt m is e ra b le , a nd k new th at I w as, m ost lik ely , u gly , it w as th e fir s t tim e s h e e ver ta lk ed to m e lik e I w as s o m eth in g b esid es m y m oth er's w hit e child . A ll m y lif e I 'd b een to ld w hat to b elie ve a b out p olit ic s, c o lo re d s, b ein g a g ir l. B ut w it h Consta ntin e's th um b p re sse d in m y h and , I r e aliz e d I a ctu ally h ad a c ho ic e in w hat I c o uld b elie ve.
CO NSTA N TIN E C AM E T O W ORK in o ur h o use a t s ix in th e m orn in g, a nd a t h arv est tim e, s h e cam e a t fiv e. T hat w ay s h e c o uld fix D ad dy h is b is c uit s a nd g ra vy b efo re h e h ead ed to th e fie ld . I woke u p n early e very d ay to h er s ta nd in g in th e k it c hen, P re acher G re en p la yin g o n th e r a d io th at sa t o n th e k it c hen ta b le . T he m in ute s h e s a w m e, s h e s m ile d . " G ood m orn in g, b eautif u l g ir l! " I 'd s it a t th e k it c hen ta b le a nd te ll h er w hat I 'd d re am ed . S he c la im ed d re am s to ld th e fu tu re .
"I w as in th e a ttic , lo okin g d ow n a t th e fa rm ," I 'd te ll h er. " I c o uld s e e th e to ps o f th e tr e es." "Y ou g o ne b e a b ra in s u rg eo n! T op a th e h o use m ean th e h ead ." Moth er a te h er b re ak fa st e arly in th e d in in g r o om , th en m oved to th e r e la xin g r o om to d o need le p oin t o r w rit e le tte rs to m is sio narie s in A fr ic a. F ro m h er g re en w in g c hair , s h e c o uld s e e every o ne g o in g a lm ost a nyw here in th e h o use . I t w as s h o ck in g w hat s h e c o uld p ro cess a b out m y ap peara nce in th e s p lit s e co nd it to ok fo r m e to p ass b y th at d oor. I u se d to d ash b y, fe elin g lik e a dartb oard , a b ig r e d b ull's -e ye th at M oth er p in ged d arts a t.
"E ugenia , y o u k no w th ere is n o c hew in g g um in th is h o use ." "E ugenia , g o p ut a lc o ho l o n th at b le m is h ." "E ugenia , m arc h u p sta ir s a nd b ru sh y o ur h air d ow n, w hat if w e h ave a n u nexp ecte d v is it o r? " I le arn ed th at s o ck s a re s te alt h ie r tr a nsp orta tio n th an s h o es. I le arn ed to u se th e b ack d oor. I le arn ed to w ear h ats , c o ver m y fa ce w it h m y h and s w hen I p asse d b y. B ut m ostly , I le arn ed to ju st s ta y in th e k it c hen.
A S U M MER M ONTH C O ULD S TR EC H o n fo r y ears , o ut o n L ongle af. I d id n't h ave fr ie nd s co m in g o ver e very d ay--w e liv ed to o fa r o ut to h ave a ny w hit e n eig hb ors . I n to w n, H illy a nd Eliz a b eth s p ent a ll w eek end g o in g to a nd fr o m e ach o th er's h o use s, w hile I w as o nly a llo w ed to sp end th e n ig ht o ut o r h ave c o m pany e very o th er w eek end . I g ru m ble d o ver th is p le nty . I to ok Consta ntin e fo r g ra nte d a t tim es, b ut I th in k I k new , fo r th e m ost p art, h o w lu ck y I w as to h ave h er th ere .
When I w as fo urte en, I s ta rte d s m okin g c ig are tte s. I 'd s n eak th em fr o m C arlt o n's p ack s o f Marlb oro s h e k ep t in h is d re sse r d ra w er. H e w as a lm ost e ig hte en a nd n o o ne m in d ed th at h e'd b een sm okin g fo r y ears a nyw here h e w ante d to in th e h o use o r o ut in th e fie ld s w it h D ad dy. S om etim es Dad dy s m oked a p ip e, b ut h e w asn 't a c ig are tte m an a nd M oth er d id n't s m oke a nyth in g a t a ll, e ven th o ugh m ost o f h er fr ie nd s d id . M oth er to ld m e I w asn 't a llo w ed to s m oke u ntil I w as s e vente en.
So I 'd s lip in to th e b ack yard a nd s it in th e tir e s w in g, w it h th e h uge o ld o ak tr e e c o ncealin g m e. O r, la te a t n ig ht, I 'd h ang o ut o f m y b ed ro om w in d ow a nd s m oke. M oth er h ad e agle -e yes, b ut s h e h ad alm ost z e ro s e nse o f s m ell. C onsta ntin e k new im med ia te ly , th o ugh. S he n arro w ed h er e yes, w it h a lit tle s m ile , b ut s a id n o th in g. I f M oth er h ead ed to th e b ack p orc h w hile I w as b ehin d th e tr e e, Consta ntin e w ould r u sh o ut a nd b ang h er b ro om h and le o n th e ir o n s ta ir r a il.
"C onsta ntin e, w hat a re y o u d oin g?" M oth er w ould a sk h er, b ut b y th en I w ould 'v e s tu b bed it o ut a nd dro pped th e b utt in th e h o le in th e tr e e.
"J u st c le anin g th is h ere o ld b ro om , M is s C harlo tte ." "W ell, fin d a w ay to d o it a lit tle q uie te r, p le ase . O h, E ugenia , w hat, d id y o u g ro w a no th er in ch overn ig ht? W hat a m I g o in g to d o? G o... p ut o n a d re ss th at fit s ." "Y es m a'a m ," C onsta ntin e a nd I w ould s a y a t th e s a m e tim e a nd th en p ass e ach o th er a lit tle s m ile .
Oh, it w as d elic io us to h ave s o m eo ne to k eep s e cre ts w it h . I f I 'd h ad a s is te r o r a b ro th er c lo se r in age, I g uesse d th at's w hat it w ould b e lik e. B ut it w asn 't ju st s m okin g o r s k ir tin g a ro und M oth er. I t was h avin g s o m eo ne lo ok a t y o u a fte r y o ur m oth er h as n early fr e tte d h ers e lf to d eath b ecause y o u are fr e ak is h ly ta ll a nd fr iz zy a nd o dd. S om eo ne w ho se e yes s im ply s a id , w it h o ut w ord s, Yo u a re f in e wit h m e.
Still, it w asn 't a ll s w eet ta lk w it h h er. W hen I w as fif te en, a n ew g ir l h ad p oin te d a t m e a nd a sk ed , "W ho 's th e s to rk ?" E ven H illy h ad tu ck ed b ack a s m ile b efo re s te erin g m e a w ay, lik e w e h ad n't heard h er.
"H ow ta ll a re y o u, C onsta ntin e?" I a sk ed , u nab le to h id e m y te ars .
Consta ntin e n arro w ed h er e yes a t m e. " H ow ta ll is y o u?" "F iv e-e le ven," I c rie d . " I'm a lr e ad y ta lle r th an th e b oys' b ask etb all c o ach." "W ell, I 'm fiv e-th ir te en, s o q uit fe elin g s o rry fo r y o urs e lf ." Consta ntin e's th e o nly w om an I 'v e e ver h ad to lo ok u p to , to lo ok h er s tr a ig ht in th e e ye.
What y o u n o tic ed fir s t a b out C onsta ntin e, b esid es h er ta lln ess, w ere h er e yes. T hey w ere lig ht bro w n, s tr ik in gly h o ney-c o lo re d a gain st h er d ark s k in . I 'v e n ever s e en lig ht b ro w n e yes o n a c o lo re d pers o n. I n fa ct, th e s h ad es o f b ro w n o n C onsta ntin e w ere e nd le ss. H er e lb ow s w ere a b so lu te ly bla ck , w it h a d ry w hit e d ust o n th em in th e w in te r. T he s k in o n h er a rm s a nd n eck a nd fa ce w as a dark e b ony. T he p alm s o f h er h and s w ere o ra ngey-ta n a nd th at m ad e m e w ond er if th e s o le s o f h er fe et w ere to o, b ut I n ever s a w h er b are fo ote d .
"J u st y o u a nd m e th is w eek end ," s h e s a id w it h a s m ile .
It w as th e w eek end th at M oth er a nd D ad dy w ere d riv in g C arlt o n to lo ok a t L SU a nd T ula ne. M y bro th er w as g o in g to c o lle ge n ext y ear. T hat m orn in g, D ad dy h ad m oved th e c o t in to th e k it c hen, next to h er b ath ro om . T hat's w here C onsta ntin e a lw ays s le p t w hen s h e s p ent th e n ig ht.
"G o lo ok w hat I g o t," s h e s a id , p oin tin g to th e b ro om c lo se t. I w ent a nd o pened it a nd s a w , tu ck ed in h er b ag, a fiv e-h und re d -p ie ce p uzzle w it h a p ic tu re o f M ount R ush m ore o n it . I t w as o ur fa vo rit e th in g to d o w hen s h e s ta yed o ver. That n ig ht, w e s a t fo r h o urs , m unchin g o n p eanuts , s if tin g th ro ugh th e p ie ces s p re ad o ut o n th e kit c hen ta b le . A s to rm r a ged o uts id e, m ak in g th e r o om c o zy w hile w e p ic k ed o ut th e e d ges. T he bulb in th e k it c hen d im med th en b rig hte ned a gain .
"W hic h o ne h e?" C onsta ntin e a sk ed , s tu d yin g th e p uzzle b ox th ro ugh h er b la ck -rim med g la sse s.
"T hat's J e ffe rs o n." "O h it s u re is . W hat a b out h im ?" "T hat's --" I le aned o ver. " I th in k th at's . . . R oose velt ." "O nly o ne I r e co gniz e is L in co ln . H e lo ok lik e m y d ad dy." I s to pped , p uzzle p ie ce in h and . I w as fo urte en a nd h ad n ever m ad e le ss th an a n A . I w as s m art, b ut I w as a s n aiv e a s th ey c o m e. C onsta ntin e p ut th e b ox to p d ow n a nd lo oked o ver th e p ie ces a gain .
"B ecause y o ur d ad dy w as s o . . . ta ll? " I a sk ed .
She c huck le d . " C ause m y d ad dy w as w hit e . I g o t th e ta ll fr o m m y m am a." I p ut th e p ie ce d ow n. " Y our . . . fa th er w as w hit e a nd y o ur m oth er w as . . . c o lo re d ?" "Y up ," s h e s a id a nd s m ile d , s n ap pin g tw o p ie ces to geth er. " W ell, lo ok a th ere . G ot m e a m atc h." I h ad s o m any q uestio ns-- Who w as h e?
Where w as h e? I k new h e w asn 't m arrie d to C onsta ntin e's moth er, b ecause th at w as a gain st th e la w . I p ic k ed a c ig are tte fr o m m y s ta sh I 'd b ro ught to th e ta b le .
I w as fo urte en b ut, fe elin g v ery g ro w n u p , I lit it . A s I d id , th e o verh ead lig ht d im med to a d ull, d ir ty bro w n, b uzzin g s o ftly .
"O h, m y d ad dy lo oooved m e. A lw ays s a id I w as h is fa vo rit e ." S he le aned b ack in h er c hair . " H e use d to c o m e o ver to th e h o use e ver S atu rd ay a fte rn o on, a nd o ne tim e, h e g iv e m e a s e t a te n h air rib bons, te n d if fe re nt c o lo rs . B ro ught e m o ver fr o m P aris , m ad e o ut a J a p anese s ilk . I s a t in h is la p fr o m th e m in ute h e g o t th ere u ntil h e h ad to le ave a nd M am a'd p la y B essie S m it h o n th e V ic tr o la h e bru ng h er a nd h e a nd m e'd s in g:
It's m ig hty s tr a nge, w it h out a d oubt Nobody k now s y o u w hen y o u'r e d ow n a nd o ut I lis te ned w id e-e yed , s tu p id . G lo w in g b y h er v o ic e in th e d im lig ht. I f c ho co la te w as a s o und , it would 'v e b een C onsta ntin e's v o ic e s in gin g. I f s in gin g w as a c o lo r, it w ould 'v e b een th e c o lo r o f th at cho co la te .
"O ne tim e I w as b oo-h o oin g o ver h ard fe elin gs, I r e ck on I h ad a lis t a th in gs to b e u p se t a b out, bein g p oor, c o ld b ath s, r o tte n to oth , I d on't k no w . B ut h e h eld m e b y th e h ead , h ugged m e to h im fo r th e lo ngest tim e. W hen I lo oked u p , h e w as c ry in g to o a nd h e . . . d id th at th in g I d o to y o u s o yo u k no w I m ean it . P re ss h is th um b u p in m y h and a nd h e s a y . . . h e s o rry ." We s a t th ere , s ta rin g a t th e p uzzle p ie ces. M oth er w ould n't w ant m e to k no w th is , th at C onsta ntin e's fa th er w as w hit e , th at h e'd a p olo giz e d to h er fo r th e w ay th in gs w ere . I t w as s o m eth in g I w asn 't su p pose d to k no w . I fe lt lik e C onsta ntin e h ad g iv en m e a g if t.
I fin is h ed m y c ig are tte , s tu b bed it o ut in th e s ilv er g uest a sh tr a y. T he lig ht b rig hte ned a gain .
Consta ntin e s m ile d a t m e a nd I s m ile d b ack .
"H ow c o m e y o u n ever to ld m e th is b efo re ?" I s a id , lo okin g in to h er lig ht b ro w n e yes.
"I c an't te ll y o u e ver s in gle th in g, S keete r." "B ut w hy?" S he k new e very th in g a b out m e, e very th in g a b out m y fa m ily . W hy w ould I e ver k eep se cre ts fr o m h er?
She s ta re d a t m e a nd I s a w a d eep , b le ak s a d ness th ere , in sid e o f h er. A fte r a w hile , s h e s a id , "S om e th in gs I ju st g o t to k eep fo r m yse lf ." WHEN I T W as M Y T urn to g o o ff to c o lle ge, M oth er c rie d h er e yes o ut w hen D ad dy a nd I p ulle d aw ay in th e tr u ck . B ut I fe lt fr e e. I w as o ff th e fa rm , o ut fr o m u nd er th e c rit ic is m . I w ante d to a sk Moth er, Are n 't y o u g la d? A re n 't y o u r e lie v ed t h at y o u d on't h ave t o w orry -w art o ver m e e v ery day a nym ore ?
B ut M oth er lo oked m is e ra b le .
I w as th e h ap pie st p ers o n in m y fr e sh m an d orm . I w ro te C onsta ntin e a le tte r o nce a w eek , te llin g h er ab out m y r o om , th e c la sse s, th e s o ro rit y . I h ad to m ail h er le tte rs to th e fa rm s in ce th e p ost d id n't deliv er to H ots ta ck a nd I h ad to tr u st th at M oth er w ould n't o pen th em . T w ic e a m onth , C onsta ntin e wro te m e b ack o n p arc hm ent p ap er th at fo ld ed in to a n e nvelo pe. H er h and w rit in g w as la rg e a nd lo vely , a lt h o ugh it r a n a t a c ro oked a ngle d ow n th e p age. S he w ro te m e e very m und ane d eta il o f Longle af:
My b ack p ain s a re b ad b ut it 's m y f e et t h at a re w orse , o r The m ix er b ro ke o ff f ro m th e b ow l a nd f le w w ild a ro und t h e k it c h en a nd t h e c a t h olle re d a nd r a n o ff. I h aven 't s e en h er sin ce.
S he'd te ll m e th at D ad dy h ad a c hest c o ld o r th at R osa P ark s w as c o m in g to h er c hurc h to sp eak . O fte n s h e d em and ed to k no w if I w as h ap py a nd th e d eta ils o f th is . O ur le tte rs w ere lik e a yearlo ng c o nvers a tio n, a nsw erin g q uestio ns b ack a nd fo rth , c o ntin uin g fa ce-to -fa ce a t C hris tm as o r betw een s u m mer s c ho ol s e ssio ns.
Moth er's le tte rs s a id , Say y o ur p ra yers a nd Don't w ea r h eels b eca use t h ey m ake y o u t o o t a ll clip ped to a c heck fo r th ir ty -fiv e d olla rs .
In A pril o f m y s e nio r y ear, a le tte r c am e fr o m C onsta ntin e th at s a id , I h ave a s u rp ris e f o r y o u, Skeete r. I a m s o e x cit e d I a lm ost c a n't s ta nd m yse lf . A nd d on't y o u g o a sk in g m e a bout it neit h er. Y o u w ill s e e f o r y o urse lf w hen y o u c o m e h om e.
That w as c lo se to fin al e xam s, w it h g ra d uatio n o nly a m onth a w ay. A nd th at w as th e la st le tte r I e ver go t fr o m C onsta ntin e.
I S K IP PED M Y G RA DUATIO N C ER EM ONY a t O le M is s. A ll m y c lo se fr ie nd s h ad d ro pped o ut to g et m arrie d a nd I d id n't s e e th e p oin t in m ak in g M am a a nd D ad dy d riv e th re e h o urs ju st to w atc h me w alk a cro ss a s ta ge, w hen w hat M oth er r e ally w ante d w as to w atc h m e w alk d ow n th e a is le . I still h ad n't h eard fr o m H arp er & R ow , s o in ste ad o f b uyin g a p la ne tic k et to N ew Y ork , I r o de h o m e to J a ck so n in s o pho m ore K ay T urn er's B uic k , s q ueeze d in th e fr o nt w it h m y ty p ew rit e r a t m y fe et and h er w ed din g d re ss b etw een u s. K ay T urn er w as m arry in g P erc y S ta nho pe n ext m onth . F or th re e h o urs I lis te ned to h er w orry a b out c ak e fla vo rs .
When I g o t h o m e, M oth er s te p ped b ack to g et a b ette r lo ok a t m e. " W ell, y o ur s k in lo oks b eautif u l, " sh e s a id , " b ut y o ur h air . . ." S he s ig hed , s h o ok h er h ead .
"W here 's C onsta ntin e?" I a sk ed . " In th e k it c hen?" And lik e s h e w as d eliv erin g th e w eath er, M oth er s a id , " C onsta ntin e is n o lo nger e m plo yed h ere .
Now le t's g et a ll th ese tr u nk s u np ack ed b efo re y o u r u in y o ur c lo th es." I tu rn ed a nd b lin k ed a t h er. I d id n't th in k I 'd h eard h er c o rre ctly . " W hat d id y o u s a y?" Moth er s to od s tr a ig hte r, s m ooth in g d ow n h er d re ss. " C onsta ntin e's g o ne, S keete r. S he w ent to liv e wit h h er p eo ple u p in C hic ago ." "B ut . . . w hat? S he d id n't s a y a nyth in g in h er le tte rs a b out C hic ago ." I k new th at w asn 't h er s u rp ris e .
She w ould 'v e to ld m e s u ch te rrib le n ew s im med ia te ly .
Moth er to ok a d eep b re ath , s tr a ig hte ned h er b ack . " I to ld C onsta ntin e s h e w asn 't to w rit e to y o u ab out le avin g. N ot in th e m id dle o f y o ur fin al e xam s. W hat if y o u'd flu nk ed a nd h ad to s ta y o n ano th er y ear? G od k no w s, fo ur y ears o f c o lle ge is m ore th an e no ugh." "A nd s h e . . . a gre ed to th at? N ot to w rit e m e a nd te ll m e s h e w as le avin g?" Moth er lo oked o ff, s ig hed . " W e'll d is c uss it la te r, E ugenia . C om e o n to th e k it c hen, le t m e in tr o duce yo u to th e n ew m aid , P asc ago ula ." But I d id n't fo llo w M oth er to th e k it c hen. I s ta re d d ow n a t m y c o lle ge tr u nk s, te rrif ie d b y th e th o ught of u np ack in g h ere . T he h o use fe lt v ast, e m pty . O uts id e, a c o m bin e w hir re d in a c o tto n fie ld .
By S ep te m ber, n o t o nly h ad I g iv en u p h o pe o f e ver h earin g b ack fr o m H arp er & R ow , I g ave u p o n ever fin d in g C onsta ntin e. N o o ne s e em ed to k no w a th in g o r h o w I c o uld r e ach h er. I fin ally s to pped ask in g p eo ple w hy C onsta ntin e h ad le ft. I t w as lik e s h e'd s im ply d is a p peare d . I h ad to a ccep t th at Consta ntin e, m y o ne tr u e a lly , h ad le ft m e to fe nd fo r m yse lf w it h th ese p eo ple .
ch ap te r 6 O N A H O T S EPTEM BER M ORN IN G, I w ak e u p in m y c hild ho od b ed , s lip o n th e h uara che s h o es m y b ro th er, C arlt o n, b ro ught m e b ack fr o m M exic o . A m an's p air s in ce, e vid ently , M exic an g ir ls ' fe et d on't g ro w to s iz e n in e-a nd -a -h alf . M oth er h ate s th em a nd s a ys th ey'r e tr a sh y-lo okin g.
O ver m y n ig htg o w n, I p ut o n o ne o f D ad dy's o ld b utto n-d ow n s h ir ts a nd s lip o ut th e fr o nt d oor.
M oth er is o n th e b ack p orc h w it h P asc ago ula a nd J a m eso w hile th ey s h uck o yste rs .
" Y ou c anno t le ave a N egro a nd a N ig ra to geth er u nchap ero ned ," M oth er'd w his p ere d to m e, a lo ng t im e a go . " It's n o t th eir fa ult , th ey ju st c an't h elp it ." I h ead d ow n th e s te p s to s e e if m y m ail- o rd er c o py o f Catc h er in t h e R ye is in th e b ox. I a lw ays o rd er th e b anned b ooks fr o m a b la ck m ark et d eale r in C alif o rn ia , fig urin g if th e S ta te o f M is sis sip pi b anned th em , th ey m ust b e g o od. B y th e tim e I r e ach th e e nd o f th e d riv e, m y h uara ches a nd a nk le s a re c o vere d w it h fin e y ello w d ust.
O n e it h er s id e o f m e, th e c o tto n fie ld s a re a g la rin g g re en, fa t w it h b olls . D ad dy lo st th e b ack fie ld s t o th e r a in la st m onth , b ut th e m ajo rit y b lo om ed u nharm ed . T he le aves a re ju st s ta rtin g to s p ot b ro w n w it h d efo lia nt a nd I c an s till s m ell th e s o ur c hem ic al in th e a ir . T here a re n o c ars o n th e C ounty R oad . I o pen th e m ailb ox.
A nd th ere , u nd ern eath M oth er's Ladie s' H om e J o urn al , is a le tte r a d dre sse d to M is s E ugenia P hela n. T he r e d r a is e d fo nt in th e c o rn er s a ys H arp er & R ow , P ub lis h ers . I te ar it o pen r ig ht th ere in t h e la ne, in n o th in g b ut m y lo ng n ig htg o w n a nd D ad dy's o ld B ro oks B ro th ers s h ir t.
S ep te m ber 4 , 1 962 D ea r M is s P hela n, I a m r e sp ondin g p erso nally t o y o ur r e su m e b eca use I f o und it a dm ir a ble t h at a y o ung la dy w it h a bso lu te ly n o w ork e x perie n ce w ould a pply f o r a n e d it in g j o b a t a p ublis h er a s p re stig io us a s o urs. A m in im um o f f iv e y ea rs in t h e b usin ess is m andato ry f o r s u ch a j o b.
Y o u'd k now t h is if y o u'd d one a ny a m ount o f r e se a rc h o n t h e b usin ess.
H avin g o nce b een a n a m bit io us y o ung la dy m yse lf , h ow ev er, I 'v e d ecid ed t o o ffe r y o u s o m e a dvic e: g o t o y o ur lo ca l n ew sp aper a nd g et a n e n tr y -le v el j o b. Y o u in clu ded in y o ur le tte r t h at y o u " im men se ly e n jo y w rit in g." W hen y o u'r e n ot m akin g m im eo gra phs o r f ix in g y o ur b oss's c o ffe e, lo ok a ro und, in vestig ate , a nd w rit e . D on't w aste y o ur t im e o n t h e o bvio us t h in gs. W rit e a bout w hat d is tu rb s y o u, p artic u la rly if it b oth ers n o o ne e ls e .
Y o urs s in cere ly , E la in e S te in , S en io r E dit o r, A dult B ook D iv is io n Belo w th e p ic a ty p e is a h and w rit te n n o te , in a c ho ppy b lu e s c ra w l:
P.S . I f y o u a re t r u ly s e rio us, I 'd b e w illin g t o lo ok o ver y o ur b est id ea s a nd g iv e m y o pin io n. I offe r t h is f o r n o b ette r r e a so n, M is s P hela n, t h an s o m eo ne o nce d id it f o r m e.
A tr u ck fu ll o f c o tto n r u m ble s b y o n th e C ounty R oad . T he N egro in th e p asse nger s id e le ans o ut and s ta re s. I 'v e fo rg o tte n I a m a w hit e g ir l in a th in n ig htg o w n. I h ave ju st r e ceiv ed c o rre sp ond ence, mayb e e ven e nco ura gem ent, fr o m N ew Y ork C it y a nd I s a y th e n am e a lo ud : " E la in e S te in ." I 'v e never m et a J e w is h p ers o n.
I r a ce b ack u p th e la ne, tr y in g to k eep th e le tte r fr o m fla p pin g in m y h and . I d on't w ant it w rin k le d . I dash u p th e s ta ir s w it h M oth er h o lle rin g to ta k e o ff th o se ta ck y M exic an m an s h o es, a nd I g et to work w rit in g d ow n e very g o ddam n th in g th at b oth ers m e in lif e , p artic ula rly th o se th at d o n o t s e em to fa ze a nyo ne e ls e . E la in e S te in 's w ord s a re r u nnin g h o t s ilv er th ro ugh m y v ein s a nd I ty p e a s fa st a s I c an. T urn s o ut, it is a s p ecta cula rly lo ng lis t.
By th e n ext d ay, I a m r e ad y to m ail m y fir s t le tte r to E la in e S te in , lis tin g th e id eas I th o ught w orth y jo urn alis m m ate ria l: th e p re vale nce o f illit e ra cy in M is sis sip pi; th e h ig h n um ber o f d ru nk -d riv in g accid ents in o ur c o unty ; th e lim it e d jo b o pportu nit ie s fo r w om en.
It's n o t u ntil a fte r I m ail th e le tte r th at I r e aliz e I p ro bab ly c ho se th o se id eas s h e w ould th in k im pre ssiv e, r a th er th an o nes I w as r e ally in te re ste d in .
I T A K E a D EEP B REATH a nd p ull o pen th e h eavy g la ss d oor. A fe m in in e lit tle b ell tin k le s h ello . A no t- so -fe m in in e r e cep tio nis t w atc hes m e. S he is e no rm ous a nd lo oks u nco m fo rta b le in th e s m all wooden c hair . " W elc o m e to th e Ja ck so n J o urn al.
C an I h elp y o u?" I h ad m ad e m y a p poin tm ent d ay b efo re y este rd ay, h ard ly a n h o ur a fte r I 'd r e ceiv ed E la in e S te in 's le tte r. I a sk ed fo r a n in te rv ie w fo r a ny p osit io n th ey m ig ht h ave. I w as s u rp ris e d th ey s a id th ey'd s e e me s o s o on.
"I'm h ere to s e e M is te r G old en, p le ase ." The r e cep tio nis t w ad dle s to th e b ack in h er te nte d d re ss. I tr y a nd c alm m y s h ak in g h and s. I p eek th ro ugh th e o pen d oor to a s m all, w ood-p anele d r o om in th e b ack . I n sid e, fo ur m en in s u it s b ang aw ay o n ty p ew rit e rs a nd s c ra tc h w it h p encils . T hey a re b ent o ver, h aggard , th re e w it h ju st a ho rs e sh o e o f h air le ft. T he r o om is g auzy w it h c ig are tte s m oke.
The r e cep tio nis t r e ap pears , th um bs m e to fo llo w h er, c ig are tte d anglin g in h er h and . " C om e o n back ." D esp it e m y n erv es, a ll I c an th in k o f is th e o ld c o lle ge r u le , A C hi O m eg a n ev er w alk s w it h a c ig are tte .
I fo llo w h er th ro ugh th e d esk s o f s ta rin g m en, th e h aze o f s m oke, to a n in te rio r o ffic e.
"C lo se th at th in g b ack ," M is te r G old en h o lle rs a s s o on a s I 'v e o pened th e d oor a nd s te p ped in .
"D on't le t a ll th at d am n s m oke in h ere ." Mis te r G old en s ta nd s u p b ehin d h is d esk . H e's a b out s ix in ches s h o rte r th an m e, tr im , y o unger th an my p are nts . H e h as lo ng te eth a nd a s n eer, th e g re ase d b la ck h air o f a m ean m an.
"D id n't y o u h ear? " h e s a id . " T hey a nno unced la st w eek c ig are tte s'll k ill y o u." "I h ad n't h eard th at." I c an o nly h o pe it h ad n't b een o n th e fr o nt p age o f h is n ew sp ap er.
"H ell, I k no w n ig gers a h und re d y ears o ld lo ok y o unger th an th o se id jit s o ut th ere ." H e s it s b ack dow n, b ut I k eep s ta nd in g b ecause th ere a re n o o th er c hair s in th e r o om .
"A lr ig ht, le t's s e e w hat y o u g o t." I h and h im m y r e su m e a nd s a m ple a rtic le s I 'd w rit te n in s c ho ol. I gre w u p w it h th e Jo urn al s it tin g o n o ur k it c hen ta b le , o pen to th e fa rm r e p ort o r th e lo cal s p orts page. I r a re ly h ad tim e to r e ad it m yse lf .
Mis te r G old en d oesn 't ju st lo ok a t m y p ap ers , h e e d it s th em w it h a r e d p encil. " M urra h H ig h e d it o r th re e y ears , Reb el R ouse r e d it o r tw o y ears , C hi O mega e d it o r th re e y ears , d oub le m ajo r E nglis h and jo urn alis m , g ra d uate d n um ber fo ur...
Dam n , g ir l, " h e m utte rs , " d id n't y o u h ave any fu n?" I c le ar m y th ro at. " Is . . . th at im porta nt? " He lo oks u p a t m e. " Y ou'r e p eculia rly ta ll b ut I 'd th in k a p re tty g ir l lik e y o u'd b e d atin g th e w ho le go ddam n b ask etb all te am ." I s ta re a t h im , n o t s u re if h e's m ak in g fu n o f m e o r p ayin g m e a c o m plim ent.
"I a ssu m e y o u k no w h o w to c le an . . ." H e lo oks b ack to m y a rtic le s, s tr ik es th em w it h v io le nt r e d mark s.
My fa ce flu sh es h o t a nd q uic k . " C le an? I 'm n o t h ere to c le an. I 'm h ere to writ e ." Cig are tte s m oke is b le ed in g u nd er th e d oor. I t's lik e th e e ntir e p la ce is o n fir e . I fe el s o s tu p id th at I th o ught I c o uld ju st w alk in a nd g et a jo b a s a jo urn alis t.
He s ig hs h eavily , h and s m e a th ic k fo ld er o f p ap ers . " I g uess y o u'll d o. M is s M yrn a's g o ne s h it - h o use cra zy o n u s, d ru nk h air s p ra y o r s o m eth in g. R ead th e a rtic le s, w rit e th e a nsw ers lik e s h e d oes, no body'll k no w th e d am n d if fe re nce." "I . . . w hat? " A nd I ta k e th e fo ld er b ecause I d on't k no w w hat e ls e to d o. I h ave n o id ea w ho th is Mis s M yrn a is . I a sk th e o nly s a fe q uestio n I c an th in k o f. " H ow m uch . . . d id y o u s a y it p ays? " He g iv es m e a s u rp ris in gly a p pre cia tiv e lo ok, fr o m m y fla t s h o es to m y fla t h air s ty le . S om e d orm ant in stin ct te lls m e to s m ile , r u n m y h and th ro ugh m y h air . I fe el r id ic ulo us, b ut I d o it .
"E ig ht d olla rs , e very M ond ay." I n o d, tr y in g to fig ure o ut h o w to a sk h im w hat th e jo b is w it h o ut g iv in g m yse lf a w ay.
He le ans fo rw ard . " Y ou d o k no w w ho M is s M yrn a is , d on't y o u?" "O f c o urs e . W e . . . g ir ls r e ad h er a ll th e tim e," I s a y, a nd a gain w e s ta re a t e ach o th er lo ng e no ugh fo r a d is ta nt te le p ho ne to r in g th re e tim es.
"W hat th en? E ig ht's n o t e no ugh? J e su s, w om an, g o c le an y o ur h usb and 's to ile t fo r fr e e." I b it e m y lip . B ut b efo re I c an u tte r a nyth in g, h e r o lls h is e yes.
"A lr ig ht, te n .
C opy's d ue o n T hurs d ays. A nd if I d on't lik e y o ur s ty le , I 'm n o t p rin tin g it o r p ayin g yo u s q uat." I ta k e th e fo ld er, th ank h im m ore th an I p ro bab ly s h o uld . H e ig no re s m e a nd p ic k s u p h is p ho ne a nd mak es a c all b efo re I 'm e ven o ut th e d oor. W hen I g et to m y c ar, I s in k d ow n in to th e s o ft C ad illa c le ath er. I s it th ere s m ilin g, r e ad in g th e p ages in th e fo ld er.
I ju st g o t a jo b.
I C O M E H O M E S TA N DIN G u p s tr a ig hte r th an I h ave s in ce I w as tw elv e, b efo re m y g ro w th s p urt.
I a m b uzzin g w it h p rid e. E ven th o ugh e very c ell in m y b ra in s a ys d o n o t, s o m eho w I c anno t r e sis t te llin g M oth er. I r u sh in to th e r e la xin g r o om a nd te ll h er e very th in g a b out h o w I 'v e g o tte n a jo b writ in g M is s M yrn a, th e w eek ly c le anin g a d vic e c o lu m n.
"O h th e ir o ny o f it ." S he le ts o ut a s ig h th at m eans lif e is h ard ly w orth liv in g u nd er s u ch c o nd it io ns.
Pasc ago ula fr e sh ens h er ic ed te a.
"A t le ast it 's a s ta rt," I s a y.
"A s ta rt a t w hat? G iv in g a d vic e o n h o w to k eep u p a h o m e w hen . . ." S he s ig hs a gain , lo ng a nd s lo w lik e a d efla tin g tir e .
I lo ok a w ay, w ond erin g if e very o ne in to w n w ill b e th in k in g th e s a m e th in g. A lr e ad y th e jo y is fle etin g.
"E ugenia , y o u d on't e ven k no w h o w to p olis h s ilv er, m uch le ss a d vis e o n h o w to k eep a h o use cle an." I h ug th e fo ld er to m y c hest. S he's r ig ht, I w on't k no w h o w to a nsw er a ny o f th e q uestio ns. S till, I th o ught s h e'd a t le ast b e p ro ud o f m e.
"A nd y o u w ill n ever m eet a nyb ody s it tin g a t th at ty p ew rit e r. E ugenia , h ave s o m e s e nse ." Anger w ork s it s w ay u p m y a rm s. I s ta nd u p s tr a ig ht a gain . " Y ou th in k I want to liv e h ere ? W it h yo u ?" I la ugh in a w ay I 'm h o pin g w ill h urt h er.
I s e e th e q uic k p ain in h er e yes. S he p re sse s h er lip s to geth er a t th e s tin g. S till, I h ave n o d esir e to ta k e b ack m y w ord s b ecause fin ally , fin ally , I h ave s a id s o m eth in g s h e's lis te nin g to .
I s ta nd th ere , r e fu sin g to le ave. I w ant to h ear w hat s h e'll s a y to th is . I w ant to h ear h er s a y s h e's so rry .
"I n eed to . . . a sk y o u s o m eth in g, E ugenia ." S he tw is ts h er h and kerc hie f, g rim aces. " I r e ad th e o th er day a b out h o w s o m e . . . s o m e g ir ls g et u nb ala nced , s ta rt th in k in g th ese --w ell, th ese u n natu ra l th o ughts ." I h ave n o id ea w hat s h e's ta lk in g a b out. I lo ok u p a t th e c eilin g fa n. S om eo ne's s e t it g o in g to o fa st.
Cla ck ety -c la ck ety -c la ck ety . . .
"A re y o u . . . d o y o u . . . fin d m en a ttr a ctiv e? A re y o u h avin g u nnatu ra l th o ughts a b out . . ." S he sh uts h er e yes tig ht. " G ir ls o r- -o r w om en?" I s ta re a t h er, w is h in g th e c eilin g fa n w ould fly fr o m it s p ost, c ra sh d ow n o n u s b oth .
"B ecause it s a id in th is a rtic le th ere 's a c ure , a s p ecia l r o ot te a--" "M oth er," I s a y, s h uttin g m y e yes tig ht. " I w ant to b e w it h g ir ls a s m uch a s y o u'd lik e to b e w it h . . .
Ja m eso ." I h ead fo r th e d oor. B ut I g la nce b ehin d m e. " I m ean, u nle ss, o f c o urs e , y o u d o?" Moth er s tr a ig hte ns, g asp s. I p ound u p th e s ta ir s .
TH E N EX T D AY, I s ta ck th e M is s M yrn a le tte rs in a n eat p ile . I h ave th ir ty -fiv e d olla rs in m y p urs e , th e m onth ly a llo w ance M oth er s till g iv es m e. I g o d ow nsta ir s w earin g a th ic k C hris tia n s m ile . L iv in g at h o m e, w henever I w ant to le ave L ongle af, I h ave to a sk M oth er if I c an b orro w h er c ar. W hic h means s h e'll a sk w here I 'm g o in g. W hic h m eans I h ave to lie to h er o n a d aily b asis , w hic h is in it s e lf enjo yab le b ut a lit tle d egra d in g a t th e s a m e tim e.
"I'm g o in g d ow n to th e c hurc h, s e e if th ey n eed a ny h elp g ettin g r e ad y fo r S und ay s c ho ol. " "O h, d arlin g, th at's ju st w ond erfu l. T ak e y o ur tim e w it h th e c ar." I d ecid ed , la st n ig ht, w hat I n eed is a p ro fe ssio nal to h elp m e w it h th e c o lu m n. M y fir s t id ea w as to ask P asc ago ula , b ut I h ard ly k no w h er. P lu s I c o uld n't s ta nd th e th o ught o f M oth er n o sin g a ro und , crit ic iz in g m e a ll o ver a gain . H illy 's m aid , Y ule M ay, is s o s h y I d oub t s h e'd w ant to h elp m e. T he only o th er m aid I s e e o fte n e no ugh is E liz a b eth 's m aid , A ib ile en. A ib ile en r e m in d s m e o f C onsta ntin e in a w ay. P lu s s h e's o ld er a nd s e em s to h ave p le nty o f e xp erie nce. On m y w ay to E liz a b eth 's , I g o b y th e B en F ra nk lin s to re a nd b uy a c lip board , a b ox o f n um ber tw o pencils , a b lu e-c lo th n o te b ook. M y fir s t c o lu m n is d ue to m orro w , o n M is te r G old en's d esk b y tw o o'c lo ck .
"S keete r, c o m e o n in ." E liz a b eth o pens h er o w n fr o nt d oor a nd I fe ar A ib ile en m ig ht n o t b e w ork in g to day. S he h as o n a b lu e b ath ro be a nd ju m bo-siz e d r o lle rs , m ak in g h er h ead lo ok h uge, h er b ody even m ore w aif - lik e th an it is . E liz a b eth g enera lly h as r o lle rs in a ll d ay, c an n ever g et h er th in h air fu ll eno ugh.
"S orry I 'm s u ch a m ess. M ae M oble y k ep t m e u p h alf th e n ig ht a nd n o w I d on't e ven k no w w here Aib ile en's g o tte n o ff to ." I s te p in sid e th e tin y fo yer. I t's a lo w -c eilin ged h o use w it h s m all r o om s. E very th in g h as a s e co nd hand lo ok--th e fa d ed b lu e flo ra l c urta in s, th e c ro oked c o ver o n th e c o uch. I h ear R ale ig h's n ew acco untin g b usin ess is n 't d oin g w ell. M ayb e u p in N ew Y ork o r s o m ew here it 's a g o od th in g, b ut in Ja ck so n, M is sis sip pi, p eo ple ju st d on't c are to d o b usin ess w it h a r u d e, c o nd esc end in g a ssh o le .
Hilly 's c ar is o ut fr o nt, b ut s h e's n o w here to b e s e en. E liz a b eth s it s a t th e s e w in g m achin e s h e h as o n th e d in in g r o om ta b le . " I'm a lm ost d one," s h e s a ys. " L et m e ju st h em th is la st s e am . . ." E liz a b eth sta nd s, h o ld s u p a g re en c hurc h d re ss w it h a r o und w hit e c o lla r. " N ow b e h o nest," s h e w his p ers w it h eyes th at a re p le ad in g fo r m e to b e a nyth in g b ut. " D oes it lo ok h o m em ad e?" The h em o n o ne s id e h angs lo nger th an th e o th er. I t's w rin k le d a nd a c uff is a lr e ad y fr a yin g. " O ne hund re d p erc ent s to re -b ought. S tr a ig ht fr o m M ais o n B la nche's ," I s a y b ecause th at is E liz a b eth 's dre am s to re . I t is fiv e s to rie s o f e xp ensiv e c lo th es o n C anal S tr e et in N ew O rle ans, c lo th es th at co uld n ever b e fo und in J a ck so n. E liz a b eth g iv es m e a g ra te fu l s m ile .
"M ae M oble y's s le ep in g?" I a sk .
"F in ally ." E liz a b eth fid dle s w it h a c lu m p o f h air th at's s lip ped o ut o f h er r o lle r, g rim aces a t it s obstin acy. S om etim es h er v o ic e ta k es o n a h ard e d ge w hen s h e ta lk s a b out h er lit tle g ir l.
The d oor to th e g uest b ath ro om in th e h all o pens a nd H illy c o m es o ut ta lk in g, " . . . s o m uch b ette r.
Every b ody h as th eir o w n p la ce to g o n o w ." Eliz a b eth fid dle s w it h th e m achin e n eed le , s e em s w orrie d b y it .
"Y ou te ll R ale ig h I s a id Yo u a re w elc o m e ," H illy a d ds, a nd it h it s m e, th en, w hat's b ein g s a id .
Aib ile en h as h er o w n b ath ro om in th e g ara ge n o w .
Hilly s m ile s a t m e a nd I r e aliz e s h e's a b out to b rin g u p th e in it ia tiv e. " H ow 's y o ur m am a?" I a sk , e ven th o ugh I k no w th is is h er le ast fa vo rit e s u b je ct. " S he g et s e ttle d in th e h o m e a lr ig ht? " "I g uess." H illy p ulls h er r e d s w eate r d ow n o ver th e p ud gy r o ll in h er w ais t. S he h as o n r e d -a nd - gre en p la id p ants th at s e em to m agnif y h er b otto m , m ak in g it r o und er a nd m ore fo rc efu l th an e ver.
"O f c o urs e s h e d oesn 't a p pre cia te a th in g I d o. I h ad to fir e th at m aid fo r h er, c aught h er tr y in g to ste al th e d am n s ilv er r ig ht u nd er m y n o se ." H illy n arro w s h er e yes a b it . " Y 'a ll h aven't h eard , b y th e way, if th at M in ny J a ck so n is w ork in g s o m ew here , h ave y o u?" We s h ak e o ur h ead s n o .
"I d oub t s h e'll fin d w ork in th is to w n a gain ," E liz a b eth s a ys.
Hilly n o ds, m ullin g th is o ver. I ta k e a d eep b re ath , a nxio us to te ll th em m y n ew s.
"I ju st g o t a jo b a t th e Ja ck so n J o urn al ," I s a y.
There is q uie t in th e r o om . S ud denly E liz a b eth s q ueals . H illy s m ile s a t m e w it h s u ch p rid e, I b lu sh and s h ru g, lik e it 's n o t th at b ig o f a d eal.
"T hey'd b e a fo ol n o t to h ir e y o u, S keete r P hela n," H illy s a ys a nd r a is e s h er ic ed te a a s a to ast.
"S o . . . u m , h ave e it h er o f y 'a ll a ctu ally r e ad M is s M yrn a?" I a sk .
"W ell n o ," H illy s a ys. " B ut I b et th e p oor w hit e tr a sh g ir ls in S outh J a ck so n r e ad it lik e th e K in g Ja m es." Eliz a b eth n o ds. " A ll th o se p oor g ir ls w it h o ut h elp , I b et th ey d o." "W ould y o u m in d if I ta lk ed to A ib ile en?" I a sk E liz a b eth . " T o h elp m e a nsw er s o m e o f th e le tte rs ? " Eliz a b eth is v ery s till a s e co nd . " A ib ile en?
My A ib ile en?" " I s u re d on't k no w th e a nsw ers to th ese q uestio ns." "W ell . . . I m ean, a s lo ng a s it d oesn 't in te rfe re w it h h er w ork ." I p ause , s u rp ris e d b y th is a ttit u d e. B ut I r e m in d m yse lf th at E liz a b eth is p ayin g h er, a fte r a ll.
"A nd n o t to day w it h M ae M oble y a b out to g et u p o r e ls e I 'll h ave to lo ok a fte r h er m yse lf ." "O kay. M ayb e . . . m ayb e I 'll c o m e b y to m orro w m orn in g th en?" I c o unt th e h o urs o n m y h and . I f I fin is h ta lk in g to A ib ile en b y m id m orn in g, I 'll h ave tim e to r u sh h o m e to ty p e it u p , th en g et it b ack to to w n b y tw o.
Eliz a b eth fr o w ns d ow n a t h er s p ool o f g re en th re ad . " A nd o nly fo r a fe w m in ute s. T om orro w 's silv er- p olis h in g d ay." "It w on't b e lo ng, I p ro m is e ," I s a y.
Eliz a b eth is s ta rtin g to s o und ju st lik e m y m oth er.
TH E N EX T M ORN IN G A T T EN , E liz a b eth o pens h er d oor, n o ds a t m e lik e a s c ho olt e acher. "A lr ig ht. G o o n in . A nd n o t to o lo ng n o w . M ae M oble y'll b e w ak in g u p a ny tim e." I w alk in to th e k it c hen, m y n o te b ook a nd p ap ers u nd er m y a rm . A ib ile en s m ile s a t m e fr o m th e s in k , her g o ld to oth s h in in g. S he's a lit tle p lu m p in th e m id dle , b ut it is a fr ie nd ly s o ftn ess. A nd s h e's m uch sh o rte r th an m e, b ecause w ho is n 't ? H er s k in is d ark b ro w n a nd s h in y a gain st h er s ta rc hy w hit e unif o rm . H er e yeb ro w s a re g ra y e ven th o ugh h er h air is b la ck .
"H ey, M is s S keete r. M is s L eefo lt s till a t th e m achin e?" "Y es." I t's s tr a nge, e ven a fte r a ll th ese m onth s h o m e, to h ear E liz a b eth b ein g c alle d M is s L eefo lt - -n o t Mis s E liz a b eth o r e ven h er m aid en n am e, M is s F re d eric k s.
"M ay I ? " I p oin t to th e r e fr ig era to r. B ut b efo re I c an h elp m yse lf , A ib ile en's o pened it fo r m e.
"W hat y o u w ant? A C o-C ola ?" I n o d a nd s h e p ops th e c ap o ff w it h th e o pener m ounte d o n th e c o unte r, p ours it in to a g la ss.
"A ib ile en"- -I ta k e a d eep b re ath --"I w as w ond erin g if I c o uld g et y o ur h elp o n s o m eth in g." I te ll h er ab out th e c o lu m n th en, g ra te fu l w hen s h e n o ds th at s h e k no w s w ho M is s M yrn a is .
"S o m ayb e I c o uld r e ad y o u s o m e o f th e le tte rs a nd y o u c o uld ... h elp m e w it h th e a nsw ers . A fte r a while , m ayb e I 'll c atc h o n a nd . . ." I s to p. T here is n o w ay I 'll e ver b e a b le to a nsw er c le anin g questio ns m yse lf . H onestly , I h ave n o in te ntio n o f le arn in g h o w to c le an. " It s o und s u nfa ir , d oesn 't it , me ta k in g y o ur a nsw ers a nd a ctin g lik e th ey'r e m in e. O r M yrn a's , I m ean." I s ig h.
Aib ile en s h ak es h er h ead . " I d on't m in d th at. I ju st a in 't s o s u re M is s L eefo lt g o ne a p pro ve." "S he s a id it w as a lr ig ht." "D urin g m y r e gula r h o urs w ork in g?" I n o d, r e m em berin g th e p ro prie ty in E liz a b eth 's v o ic e.
"A lr ig ht th en." A ib ile en s h ru gs. S he lo oks u p a t th e c lo ck a b ove th e s in k . " I p ro bab ly h ave to s to p when M ae M oble y g ets u p ." "S ho uld w e s it ? " I p oin t to th e k it c hen ta b le .
Aib ile en g la nces a t th e s w in gin g d oor. " Y ou g o h ead , I 'm fin e s ta nd in g." I s p ent la st n ig ht r e ad in g e very M is s M yrn a a rtic le fr o m th e p re vio us fiv e y ears , b ut I h aven't h ad tim e to s o rt th ro ugh th e u nansw ere d le tte rs y et. I s tr a ig hte n m y c lip board , p encil in h and . " H ere 's a le tte r fr o m R ank in C ounty .
" ' Dea r M is s M yrn a, ' " I r e ad , " 'h ow d o I r e m ove t h e r in gs f ro m m y f a t s lo ven ly h usb and's sh ir t c o lla r w hen h e is s u ch a p ig a nd . . . a nd s w ea ts lik e o ne t o o . . .' " Wond erfu l. A c o lu m n o n c le anin g a nd r e la tio nsh ip s.
Tw o th in gs I k no w a b so lu te ly n o th in g a b out.
"W hic h o ne s h e w ant a g et r id o f? " A ib ile en a sk s. " T he r in gs o r th e h usb and ?" I s ta re a t th e p age. I w ould n't k no w h o w to in str u ct h er to d o e it h er o ne.
"T ell h er a v in egar a nd P in e-S ol s o ak . T hen le t it s e t in th e s u n a lit tle w hile ." I w rit e it q uic k ly o n m y p ad . " S it in th e s u n fo r h o w lo ng?" "B out a n h o ur. L et it d ry ." I p ull o ut th e n ext le tte r a nd , ju st a s q uic k ly , s h e a nsw ers it . A fte r fo ur o r fiv e, I e xhale , r e lie ved .
"T hank y o u, A ib ile en. Y ou h ave n o id ea h o w m uch th is h elp s." "A in 't n o tr o ub le . L ong a s M is s L eefo lt d on't n eed m e." I g ath er u p m y p ap ers a nd ta k e a la st s ip o f m y C oke, le ttin g m yse lf r e la x fo r fiv e s e co nd s b efo re I have to g o w rit e th e a rtic le . A ib ile en p ic k s th ro ugh a s a ck o f g re en fid dle head s. T he r o om is q uie t excep t fo r th e r a d io p la yin g s o ftly , P re acher G re en a gain .
"H ow d id y o u k no w C onsta ntin e? W ere y o u r e la te d ?" "W e . . . in th e s a m e c hurc h c ir c le ." A ib ile en s h if ts h er fe et in fr o nt o f th e s in k .
I fe el w hat h as b eco m e a fa m ilia r s tin g. " S he d id n't e ven le ave a n a d dre ss. I ju st- -I c an't b elie ve s h e quit lik e th at." Aib ile en k eep s h er e yes d ow n. S he s e em s to b e s tu d yin g th e fid dle head s v ery c are fu lly . " N o, I 'm rig ht s u re s h e w as le t g o ." "N o, M am a s a id s h e q uit . B ack in A pril. W ent to liv e u p in C hic ago w it h h er p eo ple ." Aib ile en p ic k s u p a no th er fid dle head , s ta rts w ash in g it s lo ng s te m , th e c urly g re en e nd s. " N o m a'a m ," sh e s a ys a fte r a p ause .
It ta k es m e a fe w s e co nd s to r e aliz e w hat w e'r e ta lk in g a b out h ere .
"A ib ile en," I s a y, tr y in g to c atc h h er e ye. " Y ou r e ally th in k C onsta ntin e w as fir e d ?" But A ib ile en's fa ce h as g o ne b la nk a s th e b lu e s k y. " I m ust b e m is re m em orin g," s h e s a ys a nd I c an te ll s h e th in k s s h e's s a id to o m uch to a w hit e w om an.
We h ear M ae M oble y c allin g o ut a nd A ib ile en e xcuse s h ers e lf a nd h ead s th ro ugh th e s w in gin g d oor.
A fe w s e co nd s p ass b efo re I h ave th e s e nse to g o h o m e.
WHEN I W alk in T H E H O USE te n m in ute s la te r, M oth er is r e ad in g a t th e d in in g r o om ta b le .
"M oth er," I s a y, c lu tc hin g m y n o te b ook to m y c hest, " d id y o u fir e C onsta ntin e?" "D id I . . .
what ?" M oth er a sk s. B ut I k no w s h e's h eard m e b ecause s h e's s e t th e D AR n ew sle tte r dow n. I t ta k es a h ard q uestio n to p ull h er e yes o ff th at r iv etin g m ate ria l.
"E ugenia , I to ld y o u, h er s is te r w as s ic k s o s h e w ent u p to C hic ago to liv e w it h h er p eo ple ," s h e sa ys. " W hy? W ho to ld y o u d if fe re nt? " I w ould n ever in a m illio n y ears te ll h er it w as A ib ile en. " I h eard it th is a fte rn o on. I n to w n." "W ho w ould ta lk a b out s u ch a th in g?" M oth er n arro w s h er e yes b ehin d h er r e ad in g g la sse s. " It must'v e b een o ne o f th e o th er N ig ra s." "W hat d id y o u do to h er, M oth er? " Moth er lic k s h er lip s, g iv es m e a g o od, lo ng lo ok o ver h er b if o cals . " Y ou w ould n't u nd ers ta nd , Eugenia . N ot u ntil y o u'v e h ir e d h elp o f y o ur o w n." "Y ou . . .
fir e d h er? F or w hat? " "It d oesn 't m atte r. I t's b ehin d m e n o w a nd I ju st w on't th in k a b out it a no th er m in ute ." "M oth er, s h e r a is e d m e. Y ou te ll m e r ig ht n o w w hat h ap pened !" I 'm d is g uste d b y th e s q ueak in ess o f my v o ic e, th e c hild is h s o und o f m y d em and s.
Moth er r a is e s h er e yeb ro w s a t m y to ne, ta k es h er g la sse s o ff. " It w as n o th in g b ut a c o lo re d th in g.
And th at's a ll I 'm s a yin g." S he p uts h er g la sse s b ack o n a nd lif ts h er D AR s h eet to h er e yes.
I'm s h ak in g, I 'm s o m ad . I p ound m y w ay u p th e s ta ir s . I s it a t m y ty p ew rit e r, s tu nned th at m y moth er c o uld c ast o ff s o m eo ne w ho 'd d one h er th e b ig gest fa vo r o f h er lif e , r a is e h er c hild re n, te ach me k in d ness a nd s e lf - re sp ect. I s ta re a cro ss m y r o om a t th e r o se w allp ap er, th e e yele t c urta in s, th e yello w in g p ho to gra p hs s o fa m ilia r th ey a re n early c o nte m ptib le . C onsta ntin e w ork ed fo r o ur fa m ily fo r tw enty -n in e y ears .
FO R T H E N EX T W EEK , D ad dy r is e s b efo re d aw n. I w ak e to tr u ck m oto rs , th e c hug o f th e co m bin es s ta rtin g, th e h o lle rs to h urry . T he fie ld s a re b ro w n a nd c ris p w it h d ead c o tto n s ta lk s, defo lia te d s o th e m achin es c an g et to th e b olls . C otto n h arv est is h ere .
Dad dy d oesn 't e ven s to p fo r c hurc h d urin g h arv est tim e, b ut o n S und ay n ig ht, I c atc h h im in th e dusk y h all, b etw een h is s u p per a nd s le ep . " D ad dy?" I a sk . " W ill y o u te ll m e w hat h ap pened to Consta ntin e?" He is s o d og-tir e d , h e s ig hs b efo re h e a nsw ers .
"H ow c o uld M oth er fir e h er, D ad dy?" "W hat? D arlin ', C onsta ntin e q uit . Y ou k no w y o ur m oth er w ould n ever fir e h er." H e lo oks dis a p poin te d in m e fo r a sk in g s u ch a th in g.
"D o y o u k no w w here s h e w ent? O r h ave h er a d dre ss? " He s h ak es h is h ead n o . " A sk y o ur m am a, s h e'll k no w ." H e p ats m y s h o uld er. " P eo ple m ove o n, Skeete r. B ut I w is h s h e'd s ta yed d ow n h ere w it h u s." He w and ers d ow n th e h all to b ed . H e is to o h o nest a m an to h id e th in gs s o I k no w h e d oesn 't h ave any m ore fa cts a b out it th an I d o.
That w eek a nd e very w eek , s o m etim es tw ic e, I s to p b y E liz a b eth 's to ta lk to A ib ile en. E ach tim e, Eliz a b eth lo oks a lit tle w arie r. T he lo nger I s ta y in th e k it c hen, th e m ore c ho re s E liz a b eth c o m es u p wit h u ntil I le ave: th e d oork no bs n eed p olis h in g, th e to p o f th e r e fr ig era to r n eed s d ustin g, M ae Moble y's fin gern ails c o uld u se a tr im . A ib ile en is n o m ore th an c o rd ia l w it h m e, n erv o us, s ta nd s a t th e k it c hen s in k a nd n ever s to ps w ork in g. I t's n o t lo ng b efo re I a m a head o f c o py a nd M is te r Gold en s e em s p le ase d w it h th e c o lu m n, th e fir s t tw o o f w hic h o nly to ok m e a b out tw enty m in ute s to writ e .
And e very w eek , I a sk A ib ile en a b out C onsta ntin e. C an't s h e g et h er a d dre ss fo r m e? C an't s h e te ll me a nyth in g a b out w hy s h e g o t fir e d ? W as th ere a b ig to -d o, b ecause I ju st c an't im agin e Consta ntin e s a yin g yes m a'a m a nd w alk in g o ut th e b ack d oor. M am a'd g et c ro ss w it h h er a b out a ta rn is h ed s p oon a nd C onsta ntin e w ould s e rv e h er to ast b urn ed u p fo r a w eek . I c an o nly im agin e ho w a fir in g w ould 'v e g o ne.
It h ard ly m atte rs , th o ugh, b ecause a ll A ib ile en w ill d o is s h ru g a t m e, s a y s h e d on't k no w n o th in g.
One a fte rn o on, a fte r a sk in g A ib ile en h o w to g et o ut to ugh tu b r in gs ( n ever h avin g s c ru b bed a bath tu b in m y lif e ), I c o m e h o m e. I w alk p ast th e r e la xin g r o om . T he te le vis io n s e t is o n a nd I g la nce at it . P asc ago ula 's s ta nd in g a b out fiv e in ches a w ay fr o m th e s c re en. I h ear th e w ord s Ole M is s a nd on th e fu zzy s c re en I s e e w hit e m en in d ark s u it s c ro w din g th e c am era , s w eat r u nnin g o ff th eir b ald head s. I c o m e c lo se r a nd s e e a N egro m an, a b out m y a ge, s ta nd in g in th e m id dle o f th e w hit e m en, wit h A rm y m en b ehin d h im . T he p ic tu re p ans b ack a nd th ere is m y o ld a d m in is tr a tio n b uild in g.
Govern o r R oss B arn ett s ta nd s w it h h is a rm s c ro sse d , lo okin g th e ta ll N egro in th e e ye. N ext to th e go vern o r is o ur S enato r W hit w orth , w ho se s o n H illy 's b een tr y in g to s e t m e u p w it h o n a b lin d d ate .
I w atc h th e te le vis io n, r iv ete d . Y et I a m n eit h er th rille d n o r d is a p poin te d b y th e n ew s th at th ey m ig ht le t a c o lo re d m an in to O le M is s, ju st s u rp ris e d . P asc ago ula , th o ugh, is b re ath in g s o lo ud I c an h ear her. S he s ta nd s s to ck -still, n o t a w are I a m b ehin d h er. R oger S tic k er, o ur lo cal r e p orte r, is n erv o us, sm ilin g, ta lk in g fa st. " P re sid ent K enned y h as o rd ere d th e g o vern o r to s te p a sid e fo r J a m es M ere d it h , I r e p eat, th e P re sid ent o f th e U nit e d --" "E ugenia , P asc ago ula ! T urn th at s e t o ff r ig ht th is m in ute !" Pasc ago ula je rk s a ro und to s e e m e a nd M oth er. S he r u sh es o ut o f th e r o om , h er e yes to th e flo or.
"N ow , I w on't h ave it , E ugenia ," M oth er w his p ers . " I w on't h ave y o u e nco ura gin g th em lik e th at." "E nco ura gin g? I t's n atio nw id e n ew s, M am a." Moth er s n if fs . " It is n o t a p pro pria te fo r th e tw o o f y o u to w atc h to geth er," a nd s h e flip s th e c hannel, sto ps o n a n a fte rn o on r e ru n o f L aw re nce W elk .
"L ook, is n 't th is s o m uch n ic er? " On a H O T S ATU RD AY in la te S ep te m ber, th e c o tto n fie ld s c ho pped a nd e m pty , D ad dy c arrie s a new R C A c o lo r te le vis io n s e t in to th e h o use . H e m oves th e b la ck -a nd -w hit e o ne to th e k it c hen.
Sm ilin g a nd p ro ud , h e p lu gs th e n ew T V in to th e w all o f th e r e la xin g r o om . T he O le M is s v ers u s LSU fo otb all g am e b la re s th ro ugh th e h o use fo r th e r e st o f th e a fte rn o on.
Mam a, o f c o urs e , is g lu ed to th e c o lo r p ic tu re , o ohin g a nd a ahin g a t th e v ib ra nt r e d s a nd b lu es o f th e te am . S he a nd D ad dy liv e b y R eb el fo otb all. S he's d re sse d u p in r e d w ool p ants d esp it e th e sw elt e rin g h eat a nd h as D ad dy's o ld K ap pa A lp ha b la nk et d ra p ed o n th e c hair . N o o ne m entio ns Ja m es M ere d it h , th e c o lo re d s tu d ent th ey le t in .
I ta k e th e C ad illa c a nd h ead in to to w n. M oth er fin d s it in exp lic ab le th at I d on't w ant to w atc h m y alm a m ate r th ro w a b all a ro und . B ut E liz a b eth a nd h er fa m ily a re a t H illy 's w atc hin g th e g am e s o Aib ile en's w ork in g in th e h o use a lo ne. I 'm h o pin g it 'll b e a lit tle e asie r o n A ib ile en if E liz a b eth 's n o t th ere . T ru th is , I 'm h o pin g s h e'll te ll m e s o m eth in g, a nyth in g, a b out C onsta ntin e.
Aib ile en le ts m e in a nd I fo llo w h er b ack to th e k it c hen. S he s e em s o nly th e s m alle st b it m ore re la xed in E liz a b eth 's e m pty h o use . S he e yes th e k it c hen ta b le , lik e s h e w ants to s it to day. B ut w hen I a sk h er, s h e a nsw ers , " N o, I 'm fin e. Y ou g o h ead ." S he ta k es a to m ato fr o m a p an in th e s in k a nd sta rts to p eel it w it h a k nif e .
So I le an a gain st th e c o unte r a nd p re se nt th e la te st c o nund ru m : h o w to k eep th e d ogs fr o m g ettin g in to y o ur tr a sh cans o uts id e. B ecause y o ur la zy h usb and fo rg ets to p ut it o ut o n th e r ig ht p ic k -u p d ay.
Sin ce h e d rin k s a ll th at d am n b eer.
"J u st p our s o m e p neum onia in th at g arb age. D ogs w on't s o m uch a s w in k a t th em c ans." I jo t it dow n, a m end in g it to a m monia , a nd p ic k o ut th e n ext le tte r. W hen I lo ok u p , A ib ile en's k in d o f sm ilin g a t m e.
"I d on't m ean n o th in g d is re sp ectfu l, M is s S keete r, b ut . . . a in 't it k in d a s tr a nge y o u b ein g th e n ew Mis s M yrn a w hen y o u d on't k no w n o th in g a b out h o use k eep in g?" She d id n't s a y it th e w ay M oth er d id , a m onth a go . I fin d m yse lf la ughin g in ste ad , a nd I te ll h er w hat I'v e to ld n o o ne e ls e , a b out th e p ho ne c alls a nd th e r e su m e I 'd s e nt to H arp er & R ow . T hat I w ant to b e a w rit e r. T he a d vic e I r e ceiv ed fr o m E la in e S te in . I t's n ic e to te ll s o m eb ody.
Aib ile en n o ds, tu rn s h er k nif e a ro und a no th er s o ft r e d to m ato . " M y b oy T re elo re , h e lik e to w rit e ." "I d id n't k no w y o u h ad a s o n." "H e d ead . T w o y ears n o w ." "O h, I 'm s o s o rry ," I s a y a nd fo r a m om ent it 's ju st P re acher G re en in th e r o om , th e s o ft p at o f to m ato s k in s a gain st th e s in k .
"M ad e s tr a ig ht A s o n e ver E nglis h te st h e ta k e. T hen la te r, w hen h e g ro w n, h e p ic k h im se lf u p a ty p ew rit e r a nd s ta rt w ork in g o n a id ea . . ." T he p in -tu ck ed s h o uld ers o f h er u nif o rm s lu m p d ow n.
"S ay h e g o ne w rit e h im se lf a b ook." "W hat k in d o f id ea?" I a sk . " I m ean, if y o u d on't m in d te llin g . . ." Aib ile en s a ys n o th in g fo r a w hile . K eep s p eelin g to m ato es a ro und a nd a ro und . " H e r e ad th is b ook call In vis ib le M an.
W hen h e d one, h e s a y h e g o ne w rit e d ow n w hat it w as lik e to b e c o lo re d work in g fo r a w hit e m an in M is sis sip pi. " I lo ok a w ay, k no w in g th is is w here m y m oth er w ould s to p th e c o nvers a tio n. T his is w here s h e'd sm ile a nd c hange th e s u b je ct to th e p ric e o f s ilv er p olis h o r w hit e r ic e.
"I r e ad In vis ib le M an , to o, a fte r h e d id ," A ib ile en s a ys. " I lik ed it a lr ig ht." I n o d, e ven th o ugh I 'v e n ever r e ad it . I h ad n't th o ught o f A ib ile en a s a r e ad er b efo re .
"H e w ro te a lm ost fif ty p ages," s h e s a ys. " I le t h is g ir l F ra nces k eep h o ld o f e m ." Aib ile en s to ps p eelin g. I s e e h er th ro at m ove w hen s h e s w allo w s. " P le ase d on't te ll n o body th at," s h e sa ys, s o fte r n o w , " h im w antin g to w rit e a b out h is w hit e b oss." S he b it e s h er lip a nd it s tr ik es m e th en th at s h e's s till a fr a id fo r h im . E ven th o ugh h e's d ead , th e in stin ct to b e a fr a id fo r h er s o n is s till th ere .
"It's fin e th at y o u to ld m e, A ib ile en. I th in k it w as . . . a b ra ve id ea." Aib ile en h o ld s m y g aze fo r a m om ent. T hen s h e p ic k s u p a no th er to m ato a nd s e ts th e k nif e a gain st th e s k in . I w atc h, w ait fo r th e r e d ju ic e to s p ill. B ut A ib ile en s to ps b efo re s h e c uts , g la nces a t th e kit c hen d oor.
"I d on't th in k it 's fa ir , y o u n o t k no w in g w hat h ap pen to C onsta ntin e. I ju st- -I'm s o rry , I d on't fe el rig ht ta lk in g to y o u a b out it ." I s ta y q uie t, n o t s u re w hat's s p urre d th is , n o t w antin g to r u in it .
"I'll te ll y o u th o ugh, it w as s o m eth in g to d o w it h h er d aughte r. C om in g to s e e y o ur m am a." "D aughte r? C onsta ntin e n ever to ld m e s h e h ad a d aughte r." I k new C onsta ntin e fo r tw enty -th re e years . W hy w ould s h e k eep th is fr o m m e?
"It w as h ard fo r h er. T he b ab y c o m e o ut r e al . . . p ale ." I h o ld s till, r e m em berin g w hat C onsta ntin e to ld m e, y ears a go . " Y ou m ean, lig ht? L ik e . . . w hit e ?" Aib ile en n o ds, k eep in g a t h er ta sk in th e s in k . " H ad to s e nd h er a w ay, u p n o rth I th in k ." "C onsta ntin e's fa th er w as w hit e ," I s a y. " O h . . . A ib ile en . . . y o u d on't th in k . . ." A n u gly th o ught is ru nnin g th ro ugh m y h ead . I a m to o s h o ck ed to fin is h m y s e nte nce.
Aib ile en s h ak es h er h ead . " N o n o , n o m a'a m . N ot... th at. C onsta ntin e's m an, C onno r, h e w as co lo re d . B ut s in ce C onsta ntin e h ad h er d ad dy's b lo od in h er, h er b ab y c o m e o ut a h ig h y ello w . I t . . .
hap pens." I fe el a sh am ed fo r h avin g th o ught th e w ors t. S till, I d on't u nd ers ta nd . " W hy d id n't C onsta ntin e e ver te ll m e?" I a sk , n o t r e ally e xp ectin g a n a nsw er. " W hy w ould s h e s e nd h er a w ay?" Aib ile en n o ds to h ers e lf , lik e s h e u nd ers ta nd s. B ut I d on't . " T hat w as th e w ors t o ff I e ver s e en h er.
Consta ntin e m ust a s a id a th o usa nd tim es, s h e c o uld n't w ait fo r th e d ay w hen s h e g o t h er b ack ." "Y ou s a id th e d aughte r, s h e h ad s o m eth in g to d o w it h C onsta ntin e g ettin g fir e d ? W hat h ap pened ?" At th is , A ib ile en's fa ce g o es b la nk . T he c urta in h as d ra w n. S he n o ds to w ard th e M is s M yrn a le tte rs , mak in g it c le ar th at's a ll s h e's w illin g to s a y. A t le ast r