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Can relationships boost longevity and well-being?

Harvard research suggests meaningful relationships are a prescription for better emotional, mental, and physical health.

MIND, MOOD, AND MEMORY

attached relationship is protective in your 80s. Those people’s memories stay sharper longer,” says Dr. Waldinger “People who feel they can’t count on the other person experience early memory decline.”

You probably know there are many ways to improve your

well-being and chances of living longer, such as exercising more or eating better. But did you know that maintaining meaningful relationships also may play an important role in health, happiness, and longevity? “Good, close relationships appear to buffer us from the problems of getting old,” says Dr. Robert Waldinger, a psychiatrist with Harvard-affiliated Massachusetts General Hospital.

Eight decades of research Dr. Waldinger is the current director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, an ongoing analysis that’s followed more than 700 men since they were teenagers in 1938. More than 60 of the original participants, now in their 90s, are still taking part.

Over the years, researchers have interviewed the men in person, collected their health information (even brain scans and blood samples), and asked them to answer questions about their work and home lives, as well as mental and emotional wellness. Researchers eventually began interviewing the men’s spouses and grown children.

The importance of relationships

In terms of findings, it hasn’t mattered much if the men in the study came from privileged or humble beginnings, or if they experienced a lot of personal triumphs or travails; the end results have been consistent when it comes to what’s made them happy in their older years and how happiness has affected their health. It boils down to several lessons about relationships: Social connections appear to be good for health. “People who are more so-

www.health.harvard.edu

These study findings simply suggest an association; they don’t prove that good relationships lead to more happiness or better health. But other studies have supported most of the findings.

What you can do

Maintaining meaningful relationships with your friends and loved ones appears to lead to better health and more happiness in the long run.

cially connected to family, friends, and community are happier, healthier, and live longer than people who are less well connected,” says Dr. Waldinger.

Loneliness appears to be toxic. “People who are more isolated than they want to be are less happy, their health declines earlier in midlife, their brain function declines sooner, and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely,” explains Dr. Waldinger.

Relationship quality matters. “Living in conflict, such as in a high-conflict marriage, is bad for your health. Liv-

volunteering. For example, when the study looked at men who were happy in retirement, these were the men who filled the gap left by work buddies with new friends. “Maybe they found new friends by taking up golf or playing bridge or volunteering in the community,” says Dr. Waldinger.

It’s also important to nurture or improve existing relationships with family, friends, and spouses. “People who work on their relationships and stay in relationships are happier,” explains Dr. Waldinger—even if the relationships have ups and downs. “It doesn’t have to be smooth all the time,” he says, “as long as you feel you can count on the other when the going gets tough.”

It’s not too late to develop close relationships. That might mean making new friends by joining a club or

ing in the midst of warm He recommends doing relationships is perhaps WANT TO something new together protective,” says Dr. LEARN MORE? to put some spark into

Waldinger. He points Watch a lecture Dr. Waldinger a stale relationship, out that people in gave on this subject at or reaching out to the study who www.health.harvard.edu/happy. a family member were most satisfied Or check out the Harvard you haven’t talked in their relation- Special Health Report Positive to in years. ships at age 50 were Psychology at www. Finally, don’t think the healthiest at age 80. health.harvard.edu/PP. of having close relation-

partnered men and wom-

en reported in their 80s that on days when they had more physical pain, their mood stayed just as happy.” Good relationships appear to protect our brains. “Being in a securely

it as part of self-care. “Stay-

ing connected and involved is actually a form of taking care of yourself, just like exercise or eating right,” says Dr. Waldinger. “This is an important prescription for health.”

“And our most happily ships as a chore; think of

June 2017 | Harvard Health Letter | 5

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