make the necessary changes that the instructor has advised and strengthened the contents of my argument. See the attach file.

The Pros and Cons of Using Social Media to Grieve a Loss

Hattie L Isaac

PHI301

Instructor Cora Moore

May 20, 2019

The Pros and Cons of Using Social Media to Grieve a Loss

Essay (Thesis)

If you spend time on social media, most likely you have seen or participated in posting on a page about the loss of a loved one. Actively profiling its members after they pass away, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram keep the memories and information of the loved one alive long after they are dead. This new era of mourning a loved one is taking the place of the private and personal traditional process, which has been the modern way for centuries. Using social media as a foundation to express or share particular sadness and sympathy has a positive emotional effect when people come together and talk about the past experiences they shared with the deceased. However, not all agree that this means of grieving is appropriate for the occasion. Understanding how we share grief and what way is considerate relevant will reviewed from both ends. We will look at grief from a cultural view and a personal one, and come to a conclusion that will express why it is critical to distinguish empathy toward both. We will review the pros and cons of how social media has influenced grieving positively and negatively and get a better understanding of how and why some choose to use the internet as a method of the method of communicating when paying homage to the deceased.

Grieving From a Cultural Viewpoint

Grieving is understood as “the pain and suffering experience after a loss”(Small, 2001) The process is complicated on a family: especially younger ones who have developed deep emotional ties with the deceased. When that person or animal dies, the attachment is difficult to cope with, leaving the bereaved feeling sad and abandoned. Culture, which is the mix of beliefs, values, behaviors, rituals, and customs that a group share, have their restrictions of how the grieving process of a loved one should be celebrated at the time of death. “Their ways help them to accept and appreciate death and the dead and follow a routine that is traditional and normal” (OngWalter, 1982). In the United States, we have the freedom to grieve in any fashion we wish, as long as we respect the emotions and traditions of others. Being of various religions and nationalities, we respect those from other countries that bring, but do not impose, their rituals.

In the social media forum, everyone can participate in the grieving ceremony from the comfort of their living room, from all over the world. In some states, like Louisiana, funeral practices blend traditional European and African culture by having a jazz band lead the decease from the funeral home to the grave. In the central Pacific, the bodies are exhumed after a few months, and the skull is taken to be polished, oiled, preserved and displayed in the home. Those viewing it offer tobacco and food to it out of respect. In Buddhism, bodies are cremated, or given to the animals to be eaten after death. So the way that we use social media as a foundation for grieving can’t be any worse than the traditions of other countries. We give respect to the deceased in many possible ways as long as those ways are healthy and acceptable and do not conflict with others.

The Pros of Using Social Media to Grieve

Some use social media to express their grief publically, which allows them to reach people the deceased may know to make them aware of the death. It speaks volumes in connecting with friends and family of the deceased who wish to attend the funeral or send words of encouragement to the dead. As well as being beneficial to those who could not participate in the funeral because of the distance, work schedules, sickness, etc. In this manner, all types of communication processes, from digital sympathy cards, or typing an email, is appropriate. Happy or sad face mojos can be used for limited speaking options, and quick messages can be applied to the decease’s page within seconds after being posted. Social media has become an outlet that allows them to continue an emotional bond with the deceased through the people he or she knew. To the younger Facebook users, it is a positive way to relieve and deal with the loss and separation.

Using social media as a foundation to express or share personal sadness and sympathy has become a definite emotional idea where people come together and talk about the past experiences they shared with the deceased. But it can also cause major conflicting issues when used negatively.

There is also verification that social media has a grief site, to help others dealing with the death of a loved one. No matter the circumstances, the site can teach how to cope with death, how to move forward from the devastation and tools to help you get back to a normal life, as possible.

Years ago, grieving was considered a private experience (Hockey, Katz,& Small, 2001). Now,

more than ever, grief has come to the forefront as a public means of expressing the process. Lately,

the experience of pain and the way people grieve is changing. Social media encourages followers

to express their condolences by sending lasting words of comfort to the bereaved through their

page. Following the death of a loved one, it can be stressful, leaving the family exhausted.

emotionally. For some, it is even more of a problem if the grieving person(s) becomes sick because

of grieving. The need and longing for the physical person can be sad and debilitating.

Because it is a private emotion, grief turns into mourning and mourning is defined as "the period.

of time which signs of grief become visible” (Small, 2001, p. 20).

Grief differs from person to person and from culture to culture, influenced by the physical and

environmental beliefs and characteristics of the group. From a psychological standpoint, the

griever may become isolated and secluded. Others may find themselves working excessively or

becoming.involved in activities that help to keep the mind distracted from the loss. And there are

those who

find that reaching out to others on social media helps with coping with the lonliness and the

reality that their loved one is no longer in existence. Here in the social media forum, everyone can

participate in the grieving ceremony over the death. This public expression allows friends to

respond to others posts and show who responses to death. But it can also be expressed through

cultures, which is the mix of beliefs, values, behaviors, rituals, and customs that a group share, have

their influence of expression when it comes to death and grieving. Their ways help them to

accept and appreciate death and the dead and follow a routine and normalcy.

I believed that the grieving process has a positive emotional effect when people come together.

and commemorate their loved ones through social media. So many people can be reached.

who, otherwise, would be nearly impossible to contact. Social media allows so many people to

reach an abundance of supportive avenues, express the ways they feel and emotionally release their

final goodbyes in this time of sadness. It can be used as a tool for preparing for the funeral.

itself, letting others who are at a distance know of the death and getting people together who shared

interests and connections with the family of the deceased. This type of psychological relief would

be one of the ways people theorize their emotions when paying homage to the deceased.

The Cons of Using Social Media to Grieve

Sadly enough, by using social media as a foundation to express and share personal grief over.

the loss of a loved was a mistake. I thought that by announcing my friend’s death on Facebook, it.

would return positive feed. Instead, there were negative remarks from people claiming he owed

money and they were going to go after the family for the remaining balance. For some reason, this.

felt like a threat to me, so I reported the tag to Facebook support to investigate. There were also posts

about negative things he did in his past and how it would all be revealed on social media. The

sympathy was overridden with messages of disappointment and attitude.Wanting to remember the good

things that you both shared became difficult. There were people out there, rude and insensitive people,

who wanted to defame my friend and may have had reason to, but I never expected them to do it

publicly and after he has died. Going back over my friend’s page and reading comments he made to

others and their comments to him, his public life was filled with disappointing relationships and bad

associations. I did not know about that area of his life, and I was hurt to find out through social

media about it. I requested to have his Facebook page removed after showing verification that he was

deceased. I learned that you wouldn't know a person through social media.

The people you’re sending messages and responding to on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest,

or any of the public sites, may not be who you think they are. False identifications and using others

photographs are not unusual in the digital community. I should have questioned and evaluated the past

responses of death and grieving through the internet before posting my emotional message. Other

reasons would be:

*Social media can also cause a deceased person’s identity to be stolen. Hackers may take

advantage of stealing email address, phone number, and social security information

*Facebook page remained open after a person has died leaves opportunity for others to steal

the deceased’s information, pictures, and personal information to sell or swap in the black market.

*Too much information can be revealed that may upset family members. Sadly, some people

found out a family member or friend died by reading their Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, or

Instagram post. This can be devastating to close family members who had no close

communications contacts with the deceased.

Conclusion:

Understandably, in the space of public and private areas, we realize that the ways we normally

process grieving is changing. However, what isn’t changing is the behavior and attitudes of social

media toward the emotions and the freedom of using it. Forgetting about whose reading the posts,

vulgar language and expression are common and used frequently. While using social media is a

a secondary method of communication, we shouldn't neglect using the ordinary ways to connect to

others by writing letters and making phone calls. These ways are traditional and sometimes

necessary for those that are computer illiterate or do not have the accessibility of using iPhones. If

youare in mourning, please understand how sites like Facebook, Instagram,

Twitter and Snapchat can positively and negatively affect you. If you are using or plan to use

these sites to express your emotions and concerns take caution in being aware of who you may draw

interest from. You can use certain precautions like Blocking certain people from viewing your

page. Hiding certain Facebook friends access you feel they may have conflicting views or may start a

negative feed would eliminate comments that are derogatory and degrading to the deceased and

their family. Also, taking time out from social media can help in more ways than you know. This

will help with the coping of grief and give you a new mindset. The easier it becomes to get through

the emotional part of grieving, the easier the process becomes to moving forward with life and

acceptance of death as being an end of one experience to the beginning of another.

We should also be aware different individuals may have conflicting ideas about

the use of social media and the role it plays in communication across the globe. Although they

act, cope and express dealing with grief differently, there is an acceptance that pain can be

approached in many acceptable ways. Social media is one of those networks, where you can form

A connection, simply by signing in and requesting friends. It's a choice that you may or may not

be approved from a friend request, and no one is required to respond if you post a message.

Because technology is advancing, we are pressured to adapt to the changes in the digital world.

Grieving has been added to those advancements and is beneficial in its opportunity to get across

to so many so fast. Using it in the grieving process allows for a full span of communication and

the realization that we do need it to assist in our lives.

References

Dennis, M. R. (2012) Do grief self-help books convey contemporary perspectives on grieving? Death Studies. 36.393-418. Doi: 10.1080/07481187.2011.553326

Hardy, J., Foster, C., & Zúñiga y Postigo, G. (2015). With good reason: A guide to critical thinking. Retrieved from https://content.ashford.edu/

Ong.W.J. (1082) Orality and Literacy: The technologizing of the word. London Methuen.

Small, N (2001) Theories of grief: A critical review. In J. Hockey. J. Katz, & N. Small

(eds.). Grief, morning, and death ritual (pp. 19-48). Buckingham, UK: Open University Press.