Assignment: Action Plan 4: Supporting Families of Divorce Application: Action Plan 4: Supporting Families of Divorce Almost one out of two marriages in the United States ends in divorce (Berns, 2015,

Children And Divorce | American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry\ Login | Help | Contact Us Facts for Families ● Facts for Families ● Facts for Families by Keyword ● Facts for Families in Numerical Order Children And Divorce No. 1; Updated May 2008 One out of every two marriages today ends in divorce and many divorcing \ families include children. Parents who are getting a divorce are frequently worried about\ the effect the divorce will have on their children. During this difficult period, parents may be pre\ occupied with their own problems, but continue to be the most important people in their children\ 's lives.

While parents may be devastated or relieved by the divorce, children are\ invariably frightened and confused by the threat to their security. Some parents feel so hurt or o\ verwhelmed by the divorce that they may turn to the child for comfort or direction. Divorce can be\ misinterpreted by children unless parents tell them what is happening, how they are involved and no\ t involved, and what will happen to them.

Children often believe they have caused the conflict between their paren\ ts. Many children assume the responsibility for bringing their parents back together, some\ times by sacrificing themselves. Vulnerability to both physical and mental illnesses can orig\ inate in the traumatic loss of one or both parents through divorce. With care and attention, however\ , a family's strengths can be mobilized during a divorce, and children can be helped to deal constr\ uctively with the resolution of parental conflict.

Talking to children about a divorce is difficult. The following tips can\ help both the child and parents with the challenge and stress of these conversations: ● Do not keep it a secret or wait until the last minute. ● Tell your child together with your spouse. ● Keep things simple and straight-forward. ● Tell them the divorce is not their fault. ● Admit that this will be sad and upsetting for everyone. ● Reassure your child that you both still love them and will always be the\ ir parents. ● Do not discuss each other’s faults or problems with the child.

Parents should be alert to signs of distress in their child or children.\ Young children may react to divorce by becoming more aggressive and uncooperative or by withdrawing.\ Older children may feel deep sadness and loss. Their schoolwork may suffer and behavior pro\ blems are common. As teenagers and adults, children of divorce can have trouble with their ow\ n relationships and experience problems with self-esteem.

Children will do best if they know that their mother and father will sti\ ll be their parents and remain involved with them even though the marriage is ending and the parents wo\ n't live together. Long custody disputes or pressure on a child to "choose" sides can be particu\ larly harmful for the http://www.aacap.org/page.ww?section=Facts for Families&name=Children an\ d Divorce (1 of 2) [1/14/2009 11:13:16 AM] Children And Divorce | American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry\ youngster and can add to the damage of the divorce. Research shows that \ children do best when parents can cooperate on behalf of the child.

Parents' ongoing commitment to the child's well-being is vital. If a chi\ ld shows signs of distress, the family doctor or pediatrician can refer the parents to a child and a\ dolescent psychiatrist for evaluation and treatment. In addition, the child and adolescent psychiat\ rist can meet with the parents to help them learn how to make the strain of the divorce easier \ on the entire family.

Psychotherapy for the children of a divorce, and the divorcing parents, \ can be helpful.

For additional information see Facts for Families: #8 Children and Grief #34 Children’s Sleep Problems #4 The Depressed Child #27 Stepfamily Problems #52 Comprehensive Psychiatric Evaluation #00 Definition of a Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist See also: Your Child (1998 Harper Collins) / Your Adolescent (1999 Harper Collins) Click here to order Your Child from Harper Collins Click here to order Your Adolescent from Harper Collins ### If you find Facts for Families© helpful and would like to make good mental health a reality for all\ children, please consider donating to the Campaign for America's Kids. Your support will help us continue to produ\ ce and distribute Facts for Families, as well as other vital mental health information, free of charge.

You may also mail in your contribution. Please make checks payable to th\ e AACAP and send to Campaign for America's Kids, P.O. Box 96106, Washington, DC 20090.

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) repres\ ents over 7,500 child and adolescent psychiatrists who are physicians with at least five years of additional training beyond medica\ l school in general (adult) and child and adolescent psychiatry.

Facts for Families© information sheets are developed, owned and distributed by the Amer\ ican Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) and are supported by a grant from the Klingenstein Third Gener\ ation Foundation. Hard copies of Facts sheets may be reproduced for personal or educational use without written permission, but cannot b\ e included in material presented for sale or profit. All Facts can be viewed and printed from the AACAP website (www.aacap.org). Facts sheet\ s many not be reproduced, duplicated or posted on any other Internet website without written consent from AACAP. Organizations are p\ ermitted to create links to AACAP's website and specific Facts sheets. To purchase complete sets of Facts for Families, please contact \ the AACAP's Development and Communications Assistant at 800.333.7636, ext. 140.

The information on this website is provided for general reference purpos\ es. It does not constitute medical or other professional advice and should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of yo\ ur child and adolescent psychiatrist or other physician. Only a qualified, licensed physician can determine the individual treatment tha\ t is appropriate for your particular circumstances. All decisions about clinical care should be made in consultation with a physician.