CAN YOU DO THIS FOR ME DUE 10/10/2019 Case Study 6  Chapter 14, "Applications: Retention - Deciding to Act": answer questions 1– 4. Submit this assignment by 10:59 p.m. (CST) on Friday.  The statement

Brenda Traylor

WEEK 6, DB Forum 3

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Discussion Board Forum 3

Rapport and Relational Alignment

• As an ‘S’ personality type, Brodie prefers a consistent familiar environment; disruption to family stability through the death of his family members is particularly troubling for him (Carbonell 2008, 17; Rice 2019, 11).

• Brodie is now attending his third counseling session.  The consistency and familiarity of a single counselor, the room in which the counseling is done, and the flow of the same goals from one counseling session to another is both comforting and reassuring to Brodie (Carbonell 2008, 17).

• I can maintain fit with Brodie by demonstrating that I care about his well-being; I listen with empathy (Professional/Leadership 2008, 11).  I try to understand Brodie rather than judge him (Petersen 2015, 249).

• One way in which I demonstrate fit is to mourn with Brodie as he relates his emotional pain during counseling by a sympathizing tone of voice and with a compassionate facial expression (Kollar 2011, 95).

Phase Three Distinctive Features

• Purpose: 

• • Brodie’s primary goal at this point is to forgive Justin for his primary role in the death of his mother and sister (Rice 2019, 9).  He also does not want to live in a state of anger, which is stemming from a spirit of unforgiveness (Clinton & Hawkins 2009, 39).

  •  If Brodie can forgive Justin in reality, he would be happier with himself and better able to accept his present family life without the thought that it would have been better if he had died with his mother and sister (Rice 2019, 11).  To be the person that God desires for Brodie means that Brodie must be forgiving as God forgives (Ps 103:12, KJV; Nichols 2017, 71).  Therefore, for Brodie to move forward, he must forgive Justin from the heart (Matt 6:14-15, KJV; Nichols 2017, 71).

• Goal:

• • To move Brodie in the direction of forgiving Justin, I will ask him to describe a time when he offended a person and how did he feel afterward (Clinton & Hawkins 2009, 127).  This will help establish an empathetic mind set toward Justin (ibid.).

  • Have Brodie make a list of all hurts that he feels that began on the day of the tragic accident (ibid.).  Explain to Brodie that change is within his control (Greenberg & Ganshorn 2001, 2).  Ask Brodie if he is willing to forgive Justin of those hurts, thereby freeing Brodie from unresolved anger and at the same time giving Justin a “gift of forgiveness” (Clinton & Hawkins 2009, 127). 

  • Brodie affirms that he wants to progress toward God’s plan for him (Rom 8:28, KJV).  Then, handing Brodie a red pen, I will instruct Brodie to boldly write across his list of hurts the word, ‘Cancelled,’ signifying that Brodie has forgiven the debt created by Justin’s action the day of the accident (Clinton & Hawkins 2009, 127).

• Chief Aim:

• • The chief aim is to execute the above plan well (“SbStPC” 2019, 4). 

  • The chief aim must be bathed in prayer and in truth (Younce 2011, 44).  Brodie’s spiritual aim is to be kind and forgiving, even as God has forgiven him, so that bitterness does not poison his relationships (Eph 4:31-32, KJV; Nichols 2017, 66).

  • To assess how well this plan was implemented in the reality of Brodie’s heart, I will use a scaling question, such as, “On a scale of one to ten, with ten being how completely you have forgiven Justin and with one being that you still harbor bitterness and anger toward him, where would you say you are on that scale right now” (Kollar 2011, 133)?

• Role/Responsibility:  I will build continue to establish rapport with Brodie by listening attentively with a “curious, non-judgmental attitude” by openly displaying my curiosity with statements, such as, “Oh, now I understand why you thought that” or “Now I understand why you responded that way” (Petersen 2015, 124-25).  I will help clarify Brodie’s goals by allowing him to think out loud as he describes his pain, but then constructively use those statements to refine Brodie’s goal of forgiving Justin (Kollar 2011, 94; Petersen 2015, 125-26).   

• Guiding Assumptions:

• • For Brodie to want to forgive Justin is a huge step from when he first entered counseling.  Clearly, God is at work in Brodie’s heart (Kollar 2011, 85).

  • Though Brodie’s unforgiving spirit was complicated with secondary anger and loss of interest in living, they all sprang from a single source (“Crossroads” 2007, 00:25:38 – 00:26:08).  The solution therefore did not need to be complex; rather, the solution needed to be targeted toward practical measures of “doing a small piece of the envisioned goal,” that is, forgiving Justin from the heart (Kollar 2011, 85, 152).

  • Brodie is the expert on Brodie; therefore, what godly goals that Brodie desires will likely be accomplished because of God’s grace giving him the power to succeed (ibid., 85-86).

Supportive Feedback Break

• Reassure Brodie that it is normal to have feelings of hurt and anger when a loved one dies (Clinton & Hawkins 2009, 41; Kollar 2011, 191).

• Reassure Brodie that forgiving one who has wronged you is attainable, as well as maintaining a forgiving spirit toward that person (Kollar 2011, 191).

• Compliment Brodie on his willingness to continue the counseling sessions and on his desire to seek godly goals so that he can move toward God’s plan for Brodie (ibid.).

• Let Brodie know that there is something additional that he ought to do that would help maintain his focus on his determination to forgive Justin (ibid.).

• Brodie ought to start attending one of our Small Group Ministries, specifically, Singles on Fire for God (“SbStPC” 2019, 5; Kollar 2011, 191).  Tell Brodie that each of the participants of the group have some specific issue with which they are struggling; however, they meet because they want to overcome their struggle through Christ Jesus.  Tell him that I will be glad to meet him at the group meeting place this Tuesday at 7:15 p.m. to introduce him to our group leader.  Reassure Brodie that this additional step signifies that he is serious in his desire to forgive Justin and that he wants to know God in a deeper way (Nichols 2017, 48-49).

Phase Three Marker

• Brodie willingly engaged in making a list of the hurts caused by Justin; when finished with his list, he eagerly took the red pen and wrote the word, ‘Cancelled’ across the top of his list (Clinton & Hawkins 2009, 127).

• When asked if we could pray to the Lord that Brodie would be able by God’s grace to completely forgive Justin, Brodie asked if he could pray the prayer (Clinton & Hawkins 2009, 126).  So, he did, even praying for Justin (ibid.).

• When asked how well he thought that he had forgiven Justin (the scaling question), Brodie thoughtfully responded with the number six.

•  Since we want to keep this forward motion, I suggested that Brodie attend the singles Bible study group on Tuesday evenings, to which he eagerly agreed.  Brodie is still maintaining a willing position with progress (Kollar 2011, 80-81).

Food for Thought

• Should Brodie begin to blame Justin for his loss of family, he will fail to “see himself as part of the solution” (Kollar 2011, 81).  Rather, Brodie will want Justin to change and himself as incapable of changing the relationship (ibid.).  Very likely, Brodie would develop a helpless ‘victim’ mentality and perhaps even believe the solution “as outside of himself” (ibid.).

• As these thoughts would be a regression from the willing position, the counselor ought to remind the counselee that following Christ is not easy (Kollar 2011, 81; Nichols 2017, 44).  The scriptures state that Jesus learned “obedience by the things which he suffered” (Heb 5:8, KJV).  Becoming transformed into God’s plan is an obedience which requires persistence; the road is not easy and there is likely to be suffering along the way, yet the Christian learns obedience to Christ in all things by the events that God brings into his life (Rom 12:1-2, KJV; Nichols 2017, 44).

• Additionally, the counselor could ask the counselee if he or she is willing to let go of the ‘miracle life’ that he once had envisioned (the miracle question) (Greenberg & Ganshorn 2001, 2).  If the counselee blames someone or something else for the problem, then the ‘miracle day,’ to which the counselee holds the solution is no longer attainable because he loses the picture of the goal that he created (ibid.).  As the goal slips, so the solution slips.  To prevent this from happening, the counselor needs to rely upon the Holy Spirit’s power and presence to supply “grace to help in time of need” (Heb 4:16, KJV; Hawkins 2019, Slide 2).  

Bibliography

Carbonell, Mels. How to Solve the People Puzzle: Understanding Personality Patterns. Blue Ridge, GA: Uniquely You Resources, 2008. Accessed September 14, 2019. www.uniquelyyou.org.

“Crossroads: A Story of Forgiveness.” Directed by John Kent Harrison. Posted November 27, 2016. Hallmark Hall of Fame, 2007. Accessed August 21, 2019. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alZLXVLWe.G0.

Greenberg, Gail R. & Keren Ganshorn. “Solution-Focused Therapy: A Solution Driven Model for Change.” PDF. Adapted from “Solution-Focused Therapy. A Counseling Model for Busy Family Physicians.” Canadian Family Physician 47, (2001): 2289-2295. Accessed September 19, 2019. https://learn.liberty.edu/bbcswebdav/courses/PACO500_B07_201940/Module/Week%203%20-%20Exploring%20Solution-Focused%20Brief%20Therapy/Additional%20Materials/MECStat/MECSTAT.pdf.

Hawkins, Ron. “Guiding Principles for the Pastoral Counselor.” Presentation. Lynchburg, VA: Liberty University Online, PACO500, Week 1, 2019. Accessed September 14, 2019. https://learn.liberty.edu/bbcswebdav/pid-42188104-dt-message-rid-400302550_1/xid-400302550_1. 

Professional/Leadership DISC Profile: Uniquely You Report: Brenda Traylor. Blue Ridge, GA: Uniquely You Resources, 2008. PDF.

Rice, Dwight D. “A Case Study on Crossroads: A Story of Forgiveness.” Lynchburg, VA: Liberty University Online, PACO500, Week 1, 2019.

“Solution-Based Short-Term Pastoral Counseling (SbStPC) Handout.” Lynchburg, VA: Liberty University Online, PACO500, Week 3, 2019.

Younce, Craig L. “The Significance of Developing Core Counseling Competencies in Pastoral Care Ministry.” PhD diss., Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary, December 2, 2011. Accessed August 30, 2019. https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/58

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