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Final Draft

Manmohan Singh

Name

HUMN430 (22S-C-BC_8A) - Topics in Power and Society

University

New Westminster Campus

Professor Name: Sunny Mangat

Why do people often actively choose to believe lies?

Abstract

Many people accept lies because they are accustomed to doing so, and for a variety of reasons. Lying is primarily motivated by the need to preserve one's sense of self-worth and perpetuate delusion. Denial of reality, vulnerability, and the need to find answers to problems are some of the reasons why people believe falsehoods. An investigation of the causes for believing falsehoods is presented in the project. To deal with their stress and worry, many people turn to lying as a coping mechanism. Despite this discovery, we still do not know much about how excellent liars are able to elude detection. Liars put their audience at danger, making them more susceptible to being deceived. They are susceptible to manipulation, which increases the risks of accepting lies as fact, even if nature makes it clear that they are false (Serota, 2021).

Introduction

A liar is a person who intends to communicate in an untruthful manner. False statements made with the intention of deceiving another person are known as lies. The act of telling a falsehood is known as lying, and the person doing so is referred to as a liar. Lying is a social behaviour that involves engaging with people and is an aspect of communication. Because we are wired to avoid suffering, we're also wired to seek out pleasure (Serota, 2021). It is become a normal part of our daily routines. where it is impossible to go a day without being caught in the act of fabricating anything. Often, people don't realise how many falsehoods they tell themselves. Parents, lovers, friends, and coworkers are just a few of the people we lie to. People tell lies for a variety of reasons, including to get out of trouble or to avoid certain obligations. Individuals fear the consequences of revealing the truth, therefore they choose to lie. Solving a problem by telling a falsehood might create more harm than good if the truth is disclosed later (Serota, 2021).When it comes to lying, there are a variety of factors to consider: the degree of deceit, frequency, aim, and rationale. If, for example, a person refuses to speak in a situation when they know they are lying, then they are lying. Lying may take a variety of shapes is a quick fix to a short-term problem that does not need much forethought, as opposed to a long-term solution that does? The psychology of lying might be difficult to grasp since people lie for a variety of reasons. What motivates someone not to speak the truth explains why they do it. Some individuals tell lies to protect the sentiments of others, while others intentionally mislead others. Some people lie on the spur of the moment, while others do so to appear more appealing to others. As a result, this article focuses on why people choose to accept or believe falsehoods from diverse sources and for varying lengths of time (Serota, 2021).

Context

Believing in lies even after you know the truth may causes difficulties for a person. Everyone understands what it means to lie and what it means to believe them. Believing them can cause you to lose faith in the liar. When parents ask their children if they use drugs, when an employer asks an applicant why they left their job, when leaders around the world consider each other's threats or promises, when a voter evaluates a candidate's promises, when a couple evaluates the number of sexual partners each other - in all these situations, person is more likely to believe the other even when they know the person is lying (Nancy L. Stein, 2013). They still want to remain silent and continue choose to believe the lie. There can be many reasons for that which we will discuss later. A person mostly tends to lie to them with whom he interacts like the parents, spouse, friends, or management at the workplace. Sometimes, people just believe the lies to escape from their responsibilities. They may believe the lies because they fell the shame or risk if they admit the truth (Nancy L. Stein, 2013).

Main reasons

Actively choosing to believe the lies may come up from many reasons. Most of the time, people are mostly able to detect the lie from the behaviour of the person who is lying. So, still people choose to discard the thought of lie. One of the major reasons of this could be people putting or preferring their feelings over the facts (Barth, 2019). They do not want to hurt other people or their feelings. They will avoid the facts that talks about the lying. A person will be more trustful to the person who is physically or emotionally attached to him. It can be painful for the person to believe because they care so much for them but still the person is hurting their feelings by lying them which makes them non-trustworthy in future. So, not to knowing that they cannot trust them anymore, they just believe the lie (Barth, 2019). For example, if a parent gets to know of their child’s girlfriend or boyfriend and their child stayed the night with them. If parents expect the honesty from their child as they are very open to him. he still chooses not to tell even when his parents asked him. Then, his parents will be most likely to believe lies from their child than accepting the truth that they got to know from someone. Maybe they expect the feeling of honesty from him which makes difficult for believing truth. So, they choose to accept the lies. Sometimes, the intent in which a person speaks lie is more convincible than believing the truth (Nancy L. Stein, 2013). A person may speak the false statement but did not intend to mislead you. Most people assume that magicians aren't liars, however Uri Geller, an Israeli-British illusionist, is a liar because he claims that his acts aren't magic. Also, acting done by actors in movies, television is more likely to believable but by an imposter is not because actor do not want to mislead you whereas imposter does. So, sometimes, it is the intent of liar that make you believe them even after knowing the truth, because they do not want to deceive you (Nancy L. Stein, 2013).

Also, sometimes people just want to show that they do not know the truth. Fabrication sometimes sounds more appealing than the truth. They may know the truth before the person lies, they just want to stay quiet over it and accept the lie. There can be basically 2 reasons why people do not want to show that they know the truth (Vrij, 2008). First reason is they fear the consequences of the truth. They will not be able to bear the repercussions. They do not have the ability or courage to face the results of the truth. 50% of men and 40% of women have the extramarital affairs (Vrij, 2008). Many of them never discovered. A husband or wife is more likely to find out their partner’s affairs because of their changing behaviour and from many other things than anybody else in the family. Still, they do not face the truth. They don’t have the power of facing the consequences of that truth. There might be many reasons why can not face the truth because of financial or emotional dependability, for the sake of their family or children. What if a husband decides to leave his wife after his wife discovered the extra marital affair of his husband? His wife might be house-wife and can be financially dependent on him. So, after facing the truth, she will not be able bear the consequences of her husband leaving her and marrying the other. Maybe she is not facing the truth for the sake of their children. What will their children if her husband decides to leave them too? In this case, wife may decide to just not show that she knows the truth of her husband. She may just continue the life by not saying anything. So, these are the reasons why person do not want to show that they know the truth and just actively choose to believe the lie. The second reason why people do not want to show that they know the truth is what will they do if they face the truth (Vrij, 2008). As previously said, they do not have the ability or courage to accept the truth. If someone have courage or he/she might be believed in ethics of marriage, he/she can face the truth. Then if they face the truth, what will they do for that. If the above example of husband and wife continues, wife cannot do anything if she faces the truth of her husband. She might not be able to trust him again or she may decide to love someone else or get attention of someone else by the consequences of facing it. But she herself once betrayed cannot do anything regarding the acceptance of the truth of his husband. Another great example of this is assume in a marriage, the gift’s opening ceremony is going on. A guest asked the couple whose gift was just opened in front of all guests, about they like the gift or not because he feels like from their expressions that they did not like the gift. When asked, what if the couple says they do not like the gift. A guest may change the gift later, or may bring some other new gift later, but at that same time he/she will not be able to bring or change the gift. In those type of cases, people just want to believe in lies rather than going for what they feel (Vrij, 2008).

Believing Lies

Lying is associated with human nature, especially to escape the pain. People find it hard to tell the truth, and therefore end up lying daily. Those we interact with, such as parents, friends, and schoolmates, end up being the victims of our lies. Some people tend to lie to avoid shame, while others do so to avoid taking responsibility. Lying has variations because of frequency, reasons for doing so, and target. Moreover, the process associated with lying can require a short or long period to succeed. An individual’s lying behavior can be better explained using psychology as it explains the reasons that make individuals not reveal the truth. Various reasons make individuals actively believe lies even when evidence suggests otherwise, as outlined in this paper (Bicchieri et al., 2018).

The inability to differentiate lies and what is regarded as truthful

It is expected that individuals believe a person even after having evidence that they are being lied to (Bicchieri et al., 2018). To illustrate this, a parent can choose to believe that a child is innocent, and they are not into drugs, even after finding the child has some drugs in their possession. Additionally, an individual can believe that the person they are in love with is faithful even after hearing them receive unknown calls or see unfamiliar clothes (underpants) while doing laundry. Another example is when an investor believes that their business is making genuine losses instead of accepting the fact that their business partner is stealing from the business. Some individuals lie so that they can be seen as likable by others. Also, using what members of the community believe to be true can be used as a basis to lie. This can be seen in religious places where those tasked with spreading the word of God lie to their followers to obtain financial gains. Perceiving lying as an expression of honesty can make individuals believe lies. It is hard for people to know if someone is telling the truth by looking at their body movements and facial expression (Ekman, 2017). When we are psychologically or emotionally linked to an individual, it is typical to believe they are not lying. More specifically, we can lose trust in a person we trust or care about if we find they are lying. Believing that they are untruthful can be very painful. The brain has a way of ensuring that we do not experience this pain. This is since it unconsciously guarantees we do not credit what we believe to be true. Individuals choose to believe lies as it is a method of dealing with stress, anxiety, and even painful thoughts. Also, believing lies aids in dealing with threatening information and emotional stress. The denial enables individuals to reassure themselves that all is fine, while it is not (Bicchieri et al., 2018). Additionally, the reassurance allows people to find possible alternatives to the lies since one is not anxious. It is possible for people to see believing in lies as a possible solution to being comfortable with others. The denial allows them to cope with their partners, friends, or family members. Still, denial has adverse consequences. This is since we cannot solve a problem if we are not able to acknowledge it exists. To illustrate this, it can be destructive for a parent to ignore that their child is engaging in alcohol abuse even after finding proof. The child can end up being an addict, destroying their future. Therefore, parents should provide appropriate guidance to their children, especially after discovering they are abusing drugs.

Not wanting to harm beneficial relationships with others

In some cases, kids who are abused sexually by a grown-up are not always believed by other adults; it is unhappily common to hear some moms accepting lies told by siblings, husbands, and boyfriends concerning the truth told by a kid. For various reasons, the mother may not have the emotional strength to reply in any other form. At times the mom may be more scared of the criminal than the crime. Or they might have been mistreated or hurt as kids themselves or feel powerless to care for their children on their own. Often the mothers feel that their family would be much worse off if they stood on their kids’ behalf. They come to feel like their only physiological option is to trust the untruth. Also, it can be challenging to believe that a trusted coworkers is doing something devious in business. Therefore, we accept their lies until they destroy us undeniably. Such truth denial can hurt many individuals, including clients, staff as well as coworkers. In the worst-case scenario, accepting lies can damage a business and cause untold harm to several people. One believes the untruth when they feel defenseless to let the truth and its consequences manifest in their lives (Prado, 2018). One frequently feels awfully deceived, and one can lose trust in their capability to make moral decisions when the trust emerges. Therefore, individuals sometimes continue lying to themselves long enough after reality seems unavoidable to defend against that pain. Other couples who have lived together despite there being lies ranging from work, addiction, infidelity, and finances. Some women and men had left their relations when they revealed even slight lies because they could no longer trust the other individual. This decision is almost always an effort to find stability between self-esteem and caring. If one thinks they accept someone’s lies, instead of confronting them, they should talk to an individual who will not judge them, like a mentor who can be unbiased or a mental health worker. Then they can help them feel safe enough to take a step toward improved stability. However, it is essential to recall that accepting lies is self-protection, not a symbol of weakness or immorality. With our loved ones, coworkers, and friends, it is essential to recall that it can take work and time for them to grow the capacity to face reality. Pointing out reality as one sees or getting annoyed will not move one out of denial (Berinsky, 2018). Therefore, it is vital to accept that individuals have diverse perceptions while clarifying that one is not judging them. One should let their friends or family members know that they are willing and ready to talk about their viewpoint if they find that advantageous. Even though they might reject you today, they might turn to you for support in the future.

According to my opinion, if individuals commonly did not speak the truth, life would become very difficult because nobody could be accepted then nothing you heard or read could be trusted you would have to find out everything on your own, which is why lying is wrong because it destroys trust between people. Many individuals who lie do so to preserve their own feelings, whether it is their self-esteem, their self-confidence, or any other personal emotion. Some people who lie do so to spare the feelings of someone else and prevent them from experiencing sorrow or hurt. But a woman says anything to the effect of I did not want to get that job anyhow, when in fact she did want the job, she is lying to cover herself. There are a lot of individuals in the world who believe falsehoods because they are trying to shield themselves from bad experiences or conflicts that might hurt or kill them later in life. Because some people who lie do so often with the best of intentions, trusting their lies might be helpful in sparing sentiments and clearing the air regarding the situation.

Conclusion

In conclusion, various reasons make individuals actively believe lies even when evidence suggests otherwise. For instance, the inability to differentiate between lies and what is regarded as truthful, and individuals choose to believe lies as it is a method of dealing with stress, anxiety, and even painful thoughts. Also, not wanting to harm beneficial relationships with others and finding it painful to break trust if one discovers a person, they are emotionally linked to is lying are additional reasons for believing in lies.

References

Barth, F. D. (2019). Why do we believe liars? Retrieved from: https://www.nbcnews.com/think/opinion/why-do-we-believe-liars-ncna993816

Nancy L. Stein, P. A. (2013). Memory for Everyday and Emotional Events. Psychology Press. Retrieved from: https://books.google.ca/books?hl=en&lr=&id=m28eAgAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PA333&dq=why+people+putting+feelings+over+facts+while+believing+lies%3F&ots=UcIp2MVNYz&sig=Zb193wXp8p2o1Dvo_Hu5QO7gSwY&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

Serota, K. B., Levine, T. R., & Docan-Morgan, T. (2021). Unpacking variation in lie prevalence: Prolific liars, bad lie days, or both? Communication Monographs, 1-25. Retrieved from: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/03637751.2021.1985153

Vrij, A. (2008). Detecting Lies and Deceit: Pitfalls and Opportunities. John Wiley & Sons. Retrieved from: https://books.google.ca/books?hl=en&lr=&id=20pg76wmAucC&oi=fnd&pg=PR7&dq=why+do+people+often+actively+choose+to+believe+lies%3F&ots=wgqpciDjgh&sig=7y8vCsA1sYKV-NXLEeewE2A139s&redir_esc=y#v=onepage&q&f=false

Berinsky, A. J. (2018). Telling the truth about believing the lies? Evidence for the limited prevalence of expressive survey responding. The Journal of Politics, 80(1), 211-224. Retrieved from: https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/694258?journalCode=jop

Bicchieri, C., Dimant, E., & Sonderegger, S. (2018). It’s not a lie if you believe it: Lying and belief distortion under norm-uncertainty. Philosophy, Politics and Economics (PPE) Working Papers, University of Pennsylvania. Retrieved from: https://ideas.repec.org/p/ppc/wpaper/0012.html

Ekman, P. (2017). Facial expressions. The science of facial expression, 39-56. Retrieved from: https://oxford.universitypressscholarship.com//mobile/view/10.1093/acprof:oso/9780190613501.001.0001/acprof-9780190613501

Prado, C. G. (2018). Believing Lies. The Philosophers' Magazine, (82), 58-62. Retrieved from: https://archive.philosophersmag.com/believing-lies/