Need help editing the essay to fit the criteria

Writing a philosophy paper Philosophy verbs for describing someone’s argument: maintains, asserts, states, contends, holds, implies, defends, contradicts, puts forth, shows, posits, refutes, denies, observes, proceeds to, explains, rejects E.g., “Amber Carpenter maintains that fables are one of the important reasons Indian thinkers never insisted on a hard distinction between human and non -human animals.” Aim to be precise and concise . Without sacrificing accuracy or completeness, s ay exactly what you need to say to convey the information in the minimum number of words. Be deliberate in your writing. Each sentence and paragraph are important and as such should be deliberately placed and constructed. Write in the present tense when discussing an author’s position: “Carl Cohen argues that animals do not have rights.” NOT: “Carl Cohen argued that animals do not have rights.” Outline your essay before writing : for example (this is just an example outline – yours shouldn’t necessarily look like this if you are writing on Regan): A – Introduction - Tom Regan in his “The Case for Animal Right s” argues that... I – introduce topic of discussion II – first thing he argues III – next thing he argues IV – next thing he argues Etc. B – Body I – first thing he argues a – details b – details c – details II – next thing a – details Etc. III – next thing a - details Etc. C – Conclusion I – briefly recap major arguments II – conclude with author’s conclusion or the implications of the argument (the position they argued for) and how the ‘steps’ you described in the Body support that conclusion Th e idea behind outlining is to get your essay to “flow.” Each paragraph should flow naturally into the following one, creating an arc the reader can follow. Each sentence should flow into the next as well, so your essay does not “jump” from one point to ano ther. Introduction example: In “Illuminating Community: Animals in Classical Indian Thought,” Amber Carpenter observes that, unlike in the Western philosophical tradition, classical Indian thinkers did not insist on a hard distinction between humans and n on -humans. She contends that the dominant reason for this is not straightforwardly , as one might assume, the rebirth cosmology which was the backdrop of cultural and intellectual life in ancient India. Instead, Carpenter maintains that ancient Indians saw continuity between humans and nonhumans on account of being alive and sharing the capacity to be harmed. In addition to this, the prominence of animals in fables and epics highlights the assumption that humans and animals lived in a shared world, with each individual navigating birth, life, death, and rebirth alongside other creatures, human and non -human. Each sentence in your introduction should be there for a reason . Delete all filler sentences. In the above paragraph, every se ntence does something . The point of the introduction is to let the reader know what you’re going to be discussing in the rest of the essay . You can do this explicitly (“In this essay I describe...” - Yes, you can use the first person! ) or implicitly, as se en in the paragraph above. The introduction is the most important part of the essay! If the reader doesn’t know what you’ll be doing in the following pages, they will be confused throughout your essay. Quotation example: A division of possible realms for rebirth...represents a way of conceiving the human condition. Humans live and move within a world populated by other animals ” (7). The fact that one can be reborn as an animal implies that animals are living beings who are subjects and experience the world , suffer, and have desires, which changes how humans think of animals. This realization implies a continuity between the human and the non -human, which accounts, as Carpenter contends, for observed lack of fundamental difference between animals and humans. Quotes do not speak for themselves . Precede and follow each quote with information which contextualizes the quote. Pay attention to the order of the quotation symbol, parentheses, page number, and period : … animals” (7). The best quotations are those which highlight the point you are trying to make . Since you are writing about an author’s arguments, the best quotes will be those that succinctly represent the author’s position. If your quote takes up more than 4 lines, use block quotes, such as in the f ollowing: Some argue that in a rebirth cosmology, one never knows if a nearby animal is a deceased friend or relative, so one would naturally be disinclined to harm animals. This, they argue, is why we do not find Indian thinkers insisting on a fundamenta l difference between humans and animals. Rejecting these simple rebirth arguments for why humans and animals are non -different, Carpenter argues: “We should consider the picture the rebirth cosmology presents as a whole. A division of possible realms for rebirth...represents a way of conceiving the human condition. Humans live and move within a world populated by other animals.” (7) The fact that one can be reborn as an animal implies that animals are living beings who are subjects and experience the world, suffer, and have desires, which changes how humans think of animals.. .