i need help revising and editing my paper. it is supposed to be apa format . i will include my outline that i need to add into my paper and my unedited paper

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Gender Socialization Reflection Paper

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Ever since I was a child, I remember hearing “Cubrete” or “Te van a ver, ponte otra cosa,” meaning “Cover up” or “They are going to see you, put something else” when it came to seeing male family members at family functions. I always respected my elders so I followed their instructions without questioning them. However, I could not help but notice the difference between how girls and boys were treated. My male cousins could be outside playing basketball without their shirts on because it was “too hot” and no one seemed concerned. Even at a young age, there was an unspoken expectation that girls needed to hide their bodies,while boys were free to live comfortably without criticism.

As I got older, I started to go out and have fun with my friends. I experienced first hand how girls are often sexualized in public spaces. One day as my friends and I were walking together, a man was following us saying inappropriate comments that I wish to never hear again. At that moment I realized that I was never dressed inappropriately. The problem was not how I was dressed but the way some people choose to view and objectify women and girls. It was those around me that sexualized everything that even a girl or woman messes with their mind which is sickening and disgusting that even thinking about it gives me chills all over my body. No matter the age or how I was dressed to avoid “attention”, men will always find a way to catcall. That experience made me aware of how girls' bodies are often sexualized,and it shaped how I see myself.

During middle school, another experience began shaping how I viewed gender expectation. When I transitioned from 7th grade to 8th grade, I started preferring cross-country than cheerleading. My mom never fully understood why I would rather run outside, get mud on my shoes, and push myself physically instead of focusing on cheer routines and appearance. To her, cheerleading seemed more traditionally feminine , while running felt unusual for a girl to prefer. What I never told her, however, was that I often felt discouraged from being in my favorite sport due to the favoritism from boys to girls my coaches had, As discussed in Infancy, Childhood and Adolescents “ Boys receive more opportunities,encouragement and support for participating in sports” ,(Dumith et al.,2011). Although we trained just as hard, it often felt as though our efforts were not valued in the same way.

During these times boys and girls traveled together on the same bus to cross-country competitions. One day, I sat next to someone I considered my best friend. I felt comfortable talking to him because we ran the same event and he often gave me advice about improving my times. However, in the middle of our conversation, he suddenly measured my thighs with his and said “ you have bigger thighs than me “. He compared our legs and repeated the comment several times. I remember feeling shocked and embarrassed. I lowered my head and asked quietly “ Is that bad?” His response was simple: “ Yeah, you just need to lose some weight.” Although it may have seemed like a small comment to him, it stayed with me for years

From that moment up until junior year of high school, I became extremely conscious of what I ate. I would constantly compare myself with models.Without fully realizing it at that time, I began developing unhealthy eating habits that slowly grew into an eating disorder.“ the media portrays images and messages typifying the thin feminine ideal, suggesting that women and girls ought to be thin” ( Northup & Liebler,2010; Talbot et al., 2017)

Another significant moment in my life occurred when I experienced my first menstrual cycle. When I was younger I would wait for my mom to come to the restroom to braid my hair. In the bathroom that my sister,my mom and I shared, I often noticed square packaging that would rip apart, in the bottom drawer. I was curious and so like any other kid during my age would do, I asked my mom. But, she would always respond, “ Cuando estes mas grande the platico,” meaning, “When you're older I'll tell you.” She did not realize how soon that moment would arrive.

About a week after my younger sister was born, I came home from practice with severe stomach pain. Thinking I was just hungry, I grabbed a slice of old pizza and ate it quickly. Later that evening, while my family members were visiting to meet the baby, the pain became worse. I ran to the restroom and believed the pizza had upset my stomach. My mom had already warned me about the pizza but embarrassingly i called her and i profusely apologized for not listening to her warning. She quickly realized what had happened, I had started my menstrual cycle. She explained what it meant and showed me how to hide my pad so no one else would notice.

“ women are taught to conceal the fact that they are menstruating; even within the family household,menstruation is often a sensitive topic that is not openly discussed” ( Johnston-Robledo & Chrysler,2013). As I got older, I also experienced severe premenstrual symptoms that sometimes caused me to miss school. “Women reduce their social activities and adapt their lives in order to manage heavy menstrual bleeding and severe pain” (O’Flynn,2006; Santer, Wyke & Warner,2008).

Another way I began to understand gender inequality was by observing the experiences of my mother. When my sister and I were younger, my mom would work extremely hard to provide for us. Sometimes she had to leave us in order to go to work, and people would criticize her for not always being at home with her children. However, my biological father was never judged for not being present in the same way. When people spoke about it, they would simply shrug and say “ that's just what men do”. Hearing those comments made me realize that society often holds mothers and fathers to very different standards.

Later,when my mom remarried, I saw how unequal gender expectations could affect a relationship within a household. Over time,her ex-husband began to treat her as though her role was to take care of everyone. She was expected to pay most of the household bills, raise her children, cook meals, and clean the house. Meanwhile he contributed very little. Despite everything she faced, she continued to support us . Seeing her strength while also seeing the unfair expectation placed on her which helped me understand how deeply gender roles can shape people’s lives.

Throughout my life, I also struggled with understanding my own identity. The first time I realized I had feelings for another girl, I immediately blocked her and stopped speaking to her. I had grown up hearing that those feelings were wrong, and I felt ashamed for even having them. My fear grew even stronger when one of my cousins came out as part of the lgbtq+ community. Many family members reacted negatively and stopped speaking to her. The only person who continued supporting her was my mom, who was also her godmother. At the time, my grandparents were visiting from Mexico, and because they came from a very traditional background, being gay was seen as a sin. Watching how my cousins were treated made me afraid that I would face the same rejection if I shared my feelings.

Because of this fear, I kept many parts of my life hidden. I did not talk about my eating disorder, the bullying I experience, or the confusion about my sexuality. Carrying all of these struggles along eventually affected my mental health, and I developed generalized anxiety disorder and depression. In my first relationship with a boy, I often felt like I was pretending to be someone I was not. I dated him partly so that I could say I had my first boyfriend and appear to fit into the heterosexual expectations.

Reflecting on these experiences now, I understand that many of these challenges were not simply personal struggles but reflection of larger society expectations about gender. From childhood messages to the pressure of conforming to specific identities, I was constantly navigating how to be a girl.

6 scholarly

2 of my own

Lastname, C. (2008). Title of the source without caps except Proper Nouns or: First word after colon. The Journal or Publication Italicized and Capped, Vol#(Issue#), Page numbers.

Lastname, O. (2010). Online journal using DOI or digital object identifier. Main Online Journal Name, Vol#(Issue#), 159-192. doi: 10.1000/182

Lastname, W. (2009). If there is no DOI use the URL of the main website referenced. Article Without DOI Reference, Vol#(Issue#), 166-212. Retrieved from http://www.example.com