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Bradley J. Thames PHI208: THESIS STATEMENTS Ashford University THESIS STATEMENTS This guide is intended to help you construct a strong thesis statement for an ethics paper. But it should not take the place of the resources provided through the Ashford Writing Center, especially when using those resources is part of th e assignment instructions. The Thesis Generator is a helpful resource that can be found by going to the Ashford Writing Center at awc.ashford.edu. Look under the "Writing Resources" tab, then under "Writing Tools ,” and click on "Thesis Generator .” For addi tional help on crafting a good thesis statement, look under the "Writing Resources" tab, then under "Essay Development ,” and click on "Thesis Statements .” The thesis serves as the backbone of your paper. Or if you like, it states the central idea of the paper, around which everything else revolves. Every part of your paper is meant to in some way explain and defend that thesis. So it’s really important to construct a thesis that is focused enough that you can defend it in the space given to your paper, and for that thesis to be clear, concrete and specific , and to include a statement of the primary reasons for that position. So let’s look at some examples of some strong and some weaker theses. We’re going to be looking at topics that are not under the lis t of options, but you can use them as models for how to construct a thesis on the topic that you choose from this list. First, you will be presented with a weak thesis statement, and then, you should try to think about why it’s weak and what might make it stron ger before reading the explanation. 1. Weak Thesis Abortion is a really tough issue that has sparked a lot of controversy and debate for over four decades, and there are many good arguments on both sides. W hat makes it weak ?
No position . In other words, y ou don’t really tell me what your stand is on this issue; you simply reiterate that it is an ethically important issue, which should already be obvious. Be sure that your thesis clearly states your position. Some Stronger Alternatives • Even though abortio n involves taking the life of a biologically human creature, its relative lack of development, considered in comparison to the burdens a woman may face in carrying it to term, means that abortion may be morally justified in some cases, and that is a determ ination that should be left up to the individual woman to make with the full support of the law. Bradley J. Thames PHI208: THESIS STATEMENTS Ashford University • Anytime there is uncertainty about whether a class of beings is human, a liberal democratic society should always err on the side of humanity, thus we should consider fetuses to be human and criminalize most cases of abortion. These statements specify the position that the person takes and provide a concise statement of the primary reasons for that position. They also limit themselves to one particular aspect of this wide and complex debate. Compare that with the next thesis. 2. Weak Thesis Racism is a problem in this country because blacks are treated as inferiors, there is too much prejudice within law enforcement, and there are many racist stereotypes in the media and popular culture. What makes it weak?
Too broad . While each of these points is worth considering, it would be impossible to adequately defend all of these claims within the scope of a single paper. It is important to make sure that the claim being defended is narrow and focused enough that you can adequately defended it in the space provided by the assignment.
Remember that it is better to be narrow and deep, rather than broad and shallow. Some Stronger Alternatives • When we examine rates of in carceration and instances of police brutality, we find that people of color are targ eted at much higher rates than w hites, and this reveals an inherent racism within the criminal justice system that is unjust and demands substantial and concerted efforts t o change. • While some people may find the image of the “Mammy” character in literature, media, and advertising to be warm and comforting, it reinforces the idea that the “proper place” of the black woman is in a servile position, which in turn supports a conception of the inherent inferiority of blacks that conflicts with the notion that all humans are inherently equal. Notice how each of these theses limits itself to one of the many ways in which racism might be a force in society. Moreover , it doesn't simply describe the sociological facts; it also includes a clear ethical claim, i.e., a claim that invokes conceptions of value, right and wrong, and so forth. Compare that with the next thesis. 3. Weak Thesis Placing more restrictions on gun ownership will make it much harder for potential criminals to have access to guns. Bradley J. Thames PHI208: THESIS STATEMENTS Ashford University What makes it weak?
Not an ethical thesis . The claim made by this thesis statement is a sociological one, not an ethical one, strictly speaking ; in other words, it is a claim about what effects on society certain policies will most likely have . An ethical thesis would state the ethical significance of that claim, if it were true. T he truth of the claim may mean that we have a responsibility to impose tighter restrictions on gun ownership, but it may not. Whether or not it does depends on how that fact relates to our conceptions of ethical value and moral responsibility . Some Stronger Alternatives • While supporters of gun control are correct in holding that there should be some restrictions on gun ownership, I will argue that restrictions similar to those in many European countries would cause more harm than it would prevent if implemented in the United States, given how many people in our society depend upon guns for protection. • While t ighter gun control measures might mean that some people will not be able to engage as freely in certain leisure activities like sport hunting and target shooting, the fact that human life itself is far more valuable than such activities and that lives that would be saved by tighter gun control measures justifies the inconvenience such measures would cause for a few people. In the first case, the thesis appeals to the idea that our moral responsibility is to ensure the greatest good and least harm. In the second case, it appeals to the ethical idea that the value of human life itself outweighs the value of any particular enjoyments within that life. These ideas are all debatable, as are the sociological facts, but the relation between the two is the focus o f the thesis; the body of the paper would be focused on de fending these debatable claims. 4. Weak Thesis I believe that doctors have an obligation to always respect the rights of their patients. What makes it w eak?
Too vague about some of the key terms. Watch out for terms like “rights” and “respect” and others that can mean many different things. You want to instead be as specific as you can . In the alternatives below, notice how the “rights” in question are specified, and what it means to “respect” a pati ent (and what it doesn’t mean) are also clarified. Some Stronger Alternatives • A patient always has the right to be told the truth by his or her doctor so that he or she can make the most informed decisions, even when telling the truth results in greater harm than good. Bradley J. Thames PHI208: THESIS STATEMENTS Ashford University • A patient has the right to the most effective form of treatments possible from her doctor, and if a doctor believes that a patient will be better treated if they aren’t aware of the whole situation, then it is permissible for the doctor to lie. 5. Weak Thesis Criminals are scourges on society and it’s ridiculous to think they deserve to keep living. What makes it weak?
Too extreme, indefensible , uses inflammatory language . This is a formal philosophical essay, not a screed, not a Facebook post or blog comment, not a conversation among friends. Make sure your position can be adequately defended with reasons and evidence, and that you maintain a respectful, formal tone . Some Strong er Alternatives • When someone knowingly and deliberately take s the life of someone else without just cause, the only kind of punishment that truly fits that crime and satisfies the demands of justice is to have his or her own life taken in return. • It is never right to take the life of an innocent person, and since there is always a possibility that we might execute an innocent person, capital punishment is not justified. 6. Weak Thesis Everyone has their own religious beliefs, and who are we to force them to pray if they don’t want to? What makes it weak?
Rhetoric al question, not a statement. Remember that this is a thesis statement. In fact, avoid using rhetorical questions anywhere in your essay . Ideas are almost always communicated much more clearly and precisely when they are stated positively and directly. Some Stronger Alternatives • Since public prayer implicitly expresses an endorsement of religious belief, officially sanctioned prayer in public schools constitutes a violation of religious freedom and should not be allowed. • While official school prayers ar e a violation of religious freedom, banning any student -led prayer gathering on campus grounds is equally a violation of religious freedom. Bradley J. Thames PHI208: THESIS STATEMENTS Ashford University Again, remember that a thesis announces your position, and it is something you can argue for. I should know what conclusion you will be trying to defend on this topic, and the primary reasons supporting that conclusion. And for ethics papers, the thesis should have a clear ethical statement to make. In sum, you should avoid a thesis statement that 1. Doesn’t state th e position clearly and directly. 2. Is too broad. 3. Does not state an ethical claim .
4. Is too vague.
5. Is extreme, indefensible , or uses inflammatory language. 6. Uses rhetorical questions. When you have constructed your thesis, run through these examples and consider whether your thesis statement makes any of these mistakes. If it does, try to revise it, and if you are unsure or are having trouble, please consult your instructor.
