Ecomap

Sandra Lombardino is 69 years old. Except for being overweight and having arthritis, she is in fairly good health. She is personable, well-groomed, kind, and articulate. She retired two years ago from her job as an elementary school teacher; she was well liked by students and her fellow teachers in her 33 years of teaching. She raised four children, all of whom have started careers and families of their own.

Mrs. Lombardino would like to use her retirement years to travel and do volunteer work. She has worked hard for many years and has looked forward to enjoying her retirement.

She is increasingly frustrated because her husband’s demands and offensive behavior are destroying her retirement dreams. Her husband, Benedito, has a number of health-care needs. Benedito used to be a carpenter and at one time was a good athlete. But he has been a heavy drinker for more than 40 years. When drunk, he has been physically and verbally abusive to his wife and to his children. His children left home to escape from him as soon as they were financially able to do so. The children love their mother but despise their father.

In many ways, Sandra Lombardino has been a martyr. She took a marriage vow to stay married for better or worse until death. She has fulfilled that vow, despite the urging of her friends and relatives to seek a divorce. Several years ago, Benedito was diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver and had to stop working. He now receives a monthly disability check. Despite his illness, Benedito has continued to drink heavily and has developed high blood pressure and diabetes. He is grossly overweight and is often incontinent. The drinking and illnesses have caused brain deterioration; he now has difficulty walking, talking, and grooming himself, and he frequently hallucinates. His behavior has resulted in a loss of friends. Benedito has been pressured into attending a number of alcoholism treatment programs, including Alcoholics Anonymous, but he has always returned to drinking.

Sandra Lombardino is in a quandary about what she should do. She is angry that she has to spend most of her waking hours caring for someone who is obnoxious and verbally abusive. She resents not being able to travel and to leave home to do volunteer work. Sometimes she wishes her husband would die so that she could get on with her life. At other times, she feels guilty about wishing he would die.

She has contemplated getting a divorce, but such a process would mean her husband would get half of the property that she has worked so many years to acquire. She has also considered placing Benedito in a nursing home, but she feels an obligation to care for him herself and realizes that the expenses of a nursing home would deplete her life savings. Mrs. Lombardino feels that the cruelest injustice would be for her to die before her husband dies, so that she would be robbed of her chances to achieve her retirement dreams.

Reference: Zastrow, Charles, Karen Kirst-Ashman. Brooks/Cole Empowerment Series: Understanding Human Behavior and the Social Environment. Cengage Learning, 02/2012. VitalSource Bookshelf Online.