Persuasive Paper Part 3: Possible Disadvantages, Answers, with Visuals

ENG 215 – Appendix A: Peer Review Feedback Form 2

Appendix A: Peer Review Feedback Form 2
Reviewer’s Name: Luiz Carlos DaSilva	Date: 02/25/16
Writer’s Assigned #: Valerie Hayes
Course: ENG 215: Research and Writing ____	Section: 2

Assignment 4: Persuasive Paper Part 2: Solution and Advantages

Peer reviews should provide feedback to a peer on the criteria expected in the paper. Follow these instructions:

Receive a classmate’s paper from your professor (in class if on-ground; by e-mail if online).
Copy the Peer Review Feedback Form from the Appendix.
Comment on all criteria, noting strengths and / or areas for improvement on the feedback form.
Provide completed Peer Review Feedback Form and classmate’s paper to your professor.

Note: On-ground students should submit the feedback form and paper to the professor during the class meeting in which the paper is reviewed; online students should submit the feedback form and paper to the professor via the Assignment Tab in the course shell.

Criteria	+ Strengths	Comments < Areas for Improvement
Part 1
1. Revise, using feedback from the professor and classmates, your Persuasive Paper Part I - A Problem Exists.	Great job readdressing the issues brought up on your first review.
Part 2
2. Included a defensible, relevant thesis statement clearly in the first paragraph.		The introduction had a few key words in which could misled the reader on a wrong conclusion of the paper
3. Explain a detailed, viable solution that supports your thesis. This should be one or two (1-2) paragraphs.		The paper isn’t very clear on any specific issue.
4. State, explain, and support the first advantage (economic, social, political, environmental, social, equitable, ethical/moral, etc.) to your solution. This should be one or two (1-2) paragraphs.	Good job explaining the issue and how it can affect all of us
5. State, explain, and support the second advantage (economic, social, political, environmental, social, equitable, ethical/moral, etc.) to your solution. This should be one or two (1-2) paragraphs.	Writer stated the problem and solution.
6. State, explain, and support the third (and fourth if desired) advantage (economic, social, political, environment, social, equitable, ethical/moral, etc.) to your solution. This should be one or two (1-2) paragraphs.	Good job stating the problem	However, the language could be addressed to a larger amount of readers. The language was a little confusing.
7. Use effective transitional words, phrases, and sentences.	Good usage of transition words
8. Provide a concluding paragraph /transitional paragraph that summarizes the proposed solution and its advantages.
9. Develop a coherently structured paper with an introduction, body, and conclusion.	Good	However, I would recommend not labeling each topic. It gives the impression they are several different essays.
10. Use one or more rhetorical strategies (ethos, logos, pathos) to explain advantages.	Yes, good amount of data show the importance of educating our selves.
11. Support advantage claims with at least three (3) additional quality relevant references. Use at least six (6) total for Parts 1 & 2.	Yes, 6 total sources
12. Other		The language used was a little too complex. I would recommend the usage of grammaly to help changing some of the language. Words such as ascribe, delve, spheres and inceptions. Mislead the reader and makes the reader think too much on the introduction and the compulsion. The conclusion, it may be helpful to use an expert’s experience to help finding possible solution to help educating technology users on appropriate behaviors and ways to protect the users.