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That Can Help Students Thrive and Schools Succeed By Jennifer Bryandp Independent School ideas tu rn out to be inadequate.

— John Dewey, psychologist, educator G iv e n h o w p e r v a s iv e ly p o l i t i ­ cal, cu ltu ra l, ed u c atio n al, an d religious in s titu tio n s are b u ilt o n a fo u n d a tio n o f stereotypes a n d b inary a ss u m p tio n s , it is easy to u n d e r s ta n d why people find th e c u r re n t re a s s e s s m e n t o f all th in g s gen d e r disq u ietin g and disruptive. T he co n sequences o f this upheaval can be fo u n d in all corners o f pre-K-12 schooling, from the first- grade boy who w ants to wear a dress to school, to th e m iddle school girl who w ants to play football, to gen d e rq u ee r h ig h school stu d e n ts seeking affirm a­ tion an d inclusion.

W hen I began w orking with in d e­ p e n d e n t sch o o ls o n g e n d e r-re la te d issues 16 years ago, the goal was to open educators’ hearts an d m inds, and help th e m u n d e r s ta n d ch ild re n and adolescents who were diverse in term s o f th eir gender and sexuality. At the time, u sin g the LGB (and reluctantly, T) fram ework was the standard approach.

Even i f teachers w eren’t comfortable saying the words lesbian, gay, bisexual, an d transgender out loud, LGBT was a recognizable acronym that organized thinking and actions. Over the years, however, this narrow fram ew ork has perpetuated a focus on “gay kids” or stu ­ dents who are “different.” As a result, we have m isse d the broad im pact o f sex­ ism , hom ophobia, an d heteronormativ- ity o n all students, o f every age.

A R o b o tic s Tale A fou rth -g rad e teac h er sh a re d w ith m e his observation th a t th e boys in his robotics class typically do m in ate the building, p ro g ra m m in g , an d o p erat­ ing, while the girls m ake th e colorfulp o sters for th e ir team . “I try to en c o u r­ age the girls to get m o re involved, b u t they are really re lu c ta n t,” h e said. He invited m e to visit a n d observe. After a h a lf hour, w ith the te a c h e r’s blessing, I stopped the class to share a th re e -m in ­ u te video m o n tag e w ith th e stu d en ts.

T he video exposes Lego’s sexist, binary approach to m ark e tin g th e salon, the mall, an d th e Lego Friends beach party to girls an d the volcano heavy-lift h e li­ copter, deep-sea operations base, an d heavy-haul tra in set to boys. I re ad a seven-year-old girl’s letter to Lego in w hich she com plains th a t boys get to go o n adventures a n d work, while the girls shop a n d d o n ’t have jobs. W hen th ese fourth-graders learn ed th at Lego did m ake a very cool set o f w o m en scientists a few years ago a n d th en , in spite o f its e n o rm o u s popularity, disco n tin u ed the product, they grew in d ig n an t. F ourth-graders care a lot about fairness, an d they saw Lego’s g endered m ark e tin g m a n ip u la tio n s as blatantly unfair.

T h e n I s h a r e d m y o b se rv a tio n s w ith th e class: T he boys are, indeed, doing m o s t o f th e b u ild in g an d cool stuff, a n d th e girls are m a k in g the po st­ ers. W h e n I asked, “W hy do you th in k th at is?” th e discu ssio n th a t e n su e d was rich w ith d is c e r n m e n t, critical th inking, an d hum anity. T he stu d en ts u n d e rsto o d th a t w h a t was h a p p e n in g in th e ir classro o m w as m o re c o m ­ plicated th a n “boys tak in g over” an d “girls bein g shy.” T he tea c h e r em ailed m e a week later to say th a t h is stu d e n ts were them selves w orking to m ix u p the team re sp o n sib ilitie s a n d frequently u s e d th e video an d o u r d iscu ssio n as a reference point. They w a n t to u n d o the imbalance and disrupt sexist stereotypes; they want to play fair.

How does ch an g in g the gender dynamics in elem entary school m a t­ ter? Susan Silbey o f the M assachusetts In stitu te o f Technology has been studying gender patterns in e n g in e e r i n g e d u c a ­ tion for years. Her recent article, “Why Do So Many Women Who Study Engi­ neering Leave the Field?” (Harvard Business Review, A u g u s t 2016) d e m o n ­ strates the ram pant sex­ ism women experience in the group-project format — a format central to work in engineering. What begins as exclusion in fourth-grade robotics becomes a corrosive perpetua­ tion of marginalization and workplace hostility.

While independent schools invest heavily in STEM initiatives, female students who go on to pursue a career in science are at high risk o f being harassed out o f the field.1 Every Student Is Affected, Some More Than Others Because they live and breathe gender stereotypes from the m o m e n t they are born (or before they are born!), too many students reject all kinds of activities and subjects, even before they are old enough to know why they are doing so. Boys don’t dance.

Girls don’t wrestle. Boys are good at m ath. Girls are better at English. And the gender bias leads seamlessly into sexuality bias. Boys who are “too fem i­ n in e ” are gay; adolescent girls who are “too m asculine” are threatening.

Boys who have sex are players; girls who have sex are sluts. The impact o f sexism, misogyny, hom ophobia, heterosexism, and heteronormativity on the healthy gender and sexuality identity development o f all children at every age has been ignored at great cost to our students.

Students who don’t fit the het- eronormative paradigm often endureG e n d e r & S e x u a lity D iv e r s it y in PK-12 O ld Story? S am e S tory? N e w S to ry Dr. Jennifer Bryan TEAW flrJU l aM n U £ MlSSiOrJ TwtRsrrV GRAPHIC RECORDING BY MATT ARGUELLOA psychological, physical, and sexual h a ra ssm e n t th ro u g h o u t elementary, middle, and high school. In 2015, the federal government used its biannual Youth Risk Behavior Survey for the first time to document that students who identify as lesbian, gay, and bisex­ ual, or those who have sexual contact with people of the same sex or both sexes, are at m uch greater risk than students who identify as heterosexual for physical violence, sexual violence, bullying, substance abuse, depression, unw anted pregnancies, and sexually transm itted diseases.2 A senior official at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found the results o f the survey “heartbreaking,”3 yet middle and high school educators have wit­ nessed the vulnerability and victimiza­ tion of nonheteronormative students for decades.

Shifting the Framework; Gathering Data This m agazine devoted its sum m er 2010 issue to examining the role of gender and sexuality in independent schools. I contributed an article back then that proposed a new framework for thinking about these issues, and I developed the concept further in a book, From the Dress-Up Comer to the Senior Prom: Navigating Gender and Sexuality Diversity in PreK-12 Schools (Rowman and Littlefield Education, 2012). In the article and book, I arguethat we need to shift our th in k in g about sex, g e n ­ der, and sexuality from a prim arily binary view to one that is m ore accurately inclusive of all. To do so, we need to think in term s of Gender and Sexuality Diver­ sity (GSD), which is a broad construct that includes all sexes, genders, and sexuali­ ties — even those we might n o t yet know a b o u t or m ight not yet have named.

GSD allow s u s to c o n ­ sider the multiple, complex, in te r r e la te d c o m p o n e n ts that make up biological sex, gender, and sexuality for every hum an being.

Even though there have been regu­ lar additions to LGBT (QQIAA)4 over the past 10 years, this long queue of identities cannot accom modate the depth and breadth of our collective gender and sexuality diversity, no m at­ ter how many letters we add. In the years that I have been using GSD in my work with independent schools, pre-K-12 educators have had a variety o f responses to this conceptual frame­ work and to the New Diagram of Sex, Gender, and Sexuality (NDSGS) (see diagram on page 83), which I use as a teaching tool. Perusing a handout of the NDSGS, some teachers let out a small yip of recognition:

Hey! There I am! Others are cautiously enthusi­ astic, as they consider each spectrum a n d t h in k a b o u t w h e re d iff e re n t people in their own lives m ight fit in this schema. Some are perplexed by how different this way of thinking is.

Yet almost every teacher is quick to recognize a paradigm that adequately encompasses and affirms every single student, every family, and every col­ league with whom they have ever worked. Instead o f th in k in g about some children as “not fitting into the box,” teachers can locate all of their students along a normative spectrum of possibilities.

Take a m om ent and locate yourself on these spectrums. Where are you in term s of your identity, expression, and(D Independent School (a n a to m y , c h r o m o s o m e s , h o r m o n e s ) m a lein te rs e x fe m a le GENDER IDENTITY (s u b je c tiv e se n se o f o n e ’ s o w n g e n d e r) <--------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------> id e n t if ie s as a m a n g e n d e rq u e e r id e n t if ie s as a w o m a n GENDER EXPRESSION ( c o m m u n ic a t io n o f g e n d e r a n d g e n d e re d t r a it s ) < ----------------- -------------------------------------------------------------- --------------- ► s te r e o ty p ic a lly “ m a s c u lin e ” g e n d e r flu id s te r e o ty p ic a lly “ f e m in i n e ” ATTRACTION/SEXUAL ORIENTATION ( a t tr a c t e d t o p e o p le w h o id e n t if y as w o m e n ) •< ----------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ► n o t a t all a ttra c te d v e ry a ttra c te d ATTRACTION/SEXUAL ORIENTATION ( a ttra c te d t o p e o p le w h o id e n tify as m e n ) < -------------- ------------------------------------------------------- -------------- > n o t a t all a tt r a c t e d v e ry a tt r a c t e d ATTRACTION/SEXUAL ORIENTATION (a ttra c te d t o p e o p le w h o id e n t if y as n e it h e r m a n n o r w o m a n , o r a c o m b in a t io n o f b o th ) < ------- --------------------------- -------- ► n o t a t a ll a ttra c te d v e ry a ttr a c te d asexualDEGREE OF SEXUAL ATTRACTION/AROUSAL sexual v e ry sexual SEXUAL BEHAVIOR ( e r o t ic a n d / o r sexual a c tiv ity ) is se xu a l w it h w o m e n is se xu a l w it h t w o o r m o r e g e n d e rs is sexual w it h m e n SEXUAL IDENTITY (h o w o n e id e n t if ie s t h e i r s e x u a lity ) • S t r a i g h t / H e t e r o • G a y / L e s b ia n / H o m o s e x u a l • B i-sexual • A se xu a l - Q u e e r • P ansexual CREDIT: JENNIFER BRYAN, SEBASTIAN BARR, A N D CHRISTOPHER OVERTREE; M O D IF IE D FROM DIAGRAM OF SEX A N D GENDER © 2 0 0 0 CENTER FOR GENDER SANITY behavior? Now take another m om ent and th in k about your 15-year-old self.

How would you have identified back then i f given these options? When we ask large groups o f educators to do this self-assessment, here’s what happens:

“How many people changed between age 15 and today?” Plenty of hands go up. “How many didn’t?” Plenty of hands go up. “Let’s look at that again.” It is quiet during the second round of hand-raising as people survey the room, and then there is a buzz o f recog­ nition. This in-the-moment experience of variation conveys the truth of hum an developm ent in a way no textbook ever could. Even though we associate “normal” development with linearity and consistency over time, fluidity can be part of healthy gender and sexuality identity development as well.

The fundam ental prem ise o f GSD is that an exclusively binary view of our biology, gender, and sexuality is inac­ curate and ultimately harmful. In our recent research project, Team Finch Consultants tested the hypothesis that, for some individuals, sex, gender, and sexuality are not categorical, but varied and continuous. We speculated that the inherent diversity o f h u m an beings would be m ore fully represented by a collection of spectrums, rather than binary categories. (e.g., one is either a m an or a woman). The results o f the study w ent beyond confirm ing the existence of a variety of nonbinary bio­ logical sexes, genders, and sexualities.5 The findings also suggest that gender diversity is not limited to transgender people and that sexual diversity is not limited to LGBTQ+ people.

This challenges a question we hear often at our client schools: “Why are we spending so m uch time on issues that affect a very small percentage of our students?” Here are the big takeaways:

• not everyone fits in a binary box; • some people do fit in binary boxes; • some o f those who fit in the box express themselves outside the box when given the chance; and • everyone is affected by gender bias and sexuality bias regardless of how they identify (see fourth-grade robotics story above).Gender and Sexuality Diversity at School Independent schools have many more resources and operate under different and fewer rules than public schools.

Their greatest privilege is having the pedagogical freedom to create educa­ tional comm unities that actually teach to their m ission rather than to stan­ dardized state tests. W hen trustees,a d m i n is t r a t o r s , faculty, a n d s ta f f pair the school’s mission and values with the GSD framework, the entire community benefits (see sidebar on page 84).

W hen a risin g senior who had been at a girls’ school since seventh grade wanted to complete his gender transition and graduate as a boy, the head of school called me. “How should-inter 2017 83 w h w b u i i u r n « i M m w i iinnii i i i ' M n w M g B M the community respond?” she asked.

“What should the policy on transgen­ der students be? Are we a single-sex school or a single-gender school?” These profound questions get to the heart of the school’s identity. What does it m ean to be an institution com­ m itted to educating girls when the definition o f girl is in flux? In truth,there is no widely accepted answer to that question yet. This student was valued as an integral m em ber of the school com m unity, respected, and loved. Ultimately, the school’s values o f acceptance, inclusion, and respect prom pted the head to support the stu d e n t’s graduation in his affirmed gender identity.

G S D P R O F E S S I O N A L D E V E L O P M E N T GSD pro fe ssio n al d evelopm ent c o n s is ts o f fa r more th a n a cq u irin g content knowledge. Interactive, hands-on learning o p p o rtu n itie s allow teachers to reflect on th e ir own experience, create practice and curricu la r intentions, and invest in in s titu tio n a l e ffo rts to increase in c lu s iv ity . Here is a sam pling o f teacher responses from a p re -K -1 2 school I worked w ith at the b eg inning o f the school year.

W h a t m i g h t y o u d o i n t h e f i r s t t w o w e e k s o f s c h o o l t o p r o a c t i v e l y c r e a t e a f o u n d a t i o n o f s a f e t y in r e l a t i o n t o G S D ?

• Talk a bout h eteronorm ative s te re o ty p e s in s u m m e r reading.

• Make these topics as much a part o f the experience as “traditional” ones.

• Look at my lessons to see how in clu sive my c o nte nt is.

• Will use the social tru s t b arom eter and other tools.

• Set classroom norms that address equality for all groups, including GSD.

• Look more closely at the la yo ut o f the classroom and m aterials available.

• Listen more w ith these ideas in m ind as I w atch in teractio n s among the children.

• Not divide s tu d e n ts up b o y/g irl.

• Be more conscious o f the language I use to refer to sex, gender, and sexuality.

H o w m i g h t y o u a d j u s t , a d d to , r e i n t e r p r e t y o u r c u r r i c u l u m t o i n c l u d e m o r e / d i f f e r e n t / d e e p e r G SD w o r k ?

• Incorporate more books th a t re fle ct GSD.

• Be more in ten tio na l about m oving away from the binary.

• I am already th in k in g about th is . So how can I represent a more in c lu ­ sive social s tu d ie s c o nte nt?

• Learn about m e tho d s o fte a c h in g th a t address h o w to pose q ue stio ns to children and increase th e ir th in k in g a b o u t gender issues.

• When we are creating d a n ce s/b o oks in Spanish, ask the s tu d e n ts to create th e ir own g e n d er/ide n tity.

• Since I teach science, I w ill look fo r m aterials th a t p ortray s c ie n tists, inventors, etc. who come from a v a rie ty o f backgrounds.

• Create more projects around GSD issues.

• Last year I did a [fifth -g ra d e ] math project on the Oscars [race and gender], I w a n t to s ta rt w ith the Olympics. What do you notice ? What do you wonder?Making hard-and-fast policy in the m idst of not knowing is risky busi­ ness. As we find our way through this cultural transform ation — where no one can predict exactly where we will end up — best practices can be found by pairing greater understanding of gender and sexuality diversity with m ission values. For example, many trustees feel that creating new policies related to GSD is a compulsory part of board governance. I have found that board education about sex, gender, and sexuality goes a long way in softening hard-line opposition to (and fear of) any discussion o f change or accom­ modation. There are still strong differ­ ences of opinion, but with greater con­ ceptual understanding and a shared accurate language, trustees are less reactive, more productive, and better prepared to make 21st-century deci­ sions that honor the purpose o f their schools. And not all decisions come in the form o f policies.

There is a growing awareness that school leaders need to reassess many long-standing practices in pre-K-12 independent schools. A short list:

• A d m is s io n d e p a r t m e n t s m u s t explore the in te n tio n o f asking questions about sex (or gender) on the application form. What infor­ m ation are you really looking for and will checking boxes marked male and female provide it? I f the first invitation to identify a prospec­ tive student is binary, how many families will look elsewhere?

• Dress code battles are age-old, yet today’s struggles over in a p ­ propriate (read: too sexual) dress for girls creates a superb learning opportunity. Schools m ust address culturally driven sexualization of girls and figure out how to create equitable standards of dress for all students.

• Athletic directors wonder how to a c co m m o d a te tr a n s g e n d e r s t u ­ dents in physical education and team sports. The sum m er Olym­ pics in Rio provided a vivid educa­ tion in how the binary organiza­ tion of sports serves m ost athletesth Independent School S C H O O L M IS S IO NG E N D E R A N D S E X U A L IT Y D IV E R S I T Y F R A M E W O R K IVe a re c o m m it t e d to w o r k in g w ith th e w h o le child.S tu d e n ts ’ sex, gender, and s e x u a lity are e s s e n tia l p a rts o f t h e ir w h o le n e s s .

The s c h o o l p r id e s i t s e l f on b e in g a d iv e rs e c o m m u n it y in p a r t n e r s h ip w ith f a m ilie s .Our c o m m u n it y w e lc o m e s s tu d e n t s , te a c h e rs , and p a re n ts o f a ll sexes, g e n d e rs , and s e x u a litie s .

H/e e m p h a s iz e in t e g r it y , le a d e rs h ip , d iv e r s it y , a n d s e r v ic e as w e ll a s re s p e c t f o r s e l f a n d o th e rs .R e s p e c tin g s e lf and o th e rs in c lu d e s u n d e r s ta n d in g th e m a n y w a y s p eo ple e x p re s s t h e ir g e n d e r and s e x u a lity .

\Ne e n c o u ra g e c o n s t r u c t iv e a n d r e s p o n s ib le g lo b a l c itiz e n s h ip .A c o n te m p o ra ry , e x p a n s iv e u n d e r s ta n d in g o f sex, gender, and s e x u a lity w ill h elp s tu d e n t s n a v ig a te a c ro s s c u lt u r e s and c o u n trie s .

O urs is a d iv e r s e c o m m u n it y t h a t b a la n c e s th e v a lu e o f s c h o la r s h ip a n d th e in t e lle c t w ith th e im p o r t a n c e o f m e a n in g f u l a n d s u s t a in e d re la tio n s h ip s .C h a lle n g in g g e n d e r and s e x u a lity bias th ro u g h c ritic a l t h i n k i n g a nd, in th e c o n te x t o f v a lu a b le re la tio n s h ip s , b u ild s s k ills and c o m m u n ity .

but not all. For students who are ge n d e r fluid, belonging to and competing on a coeducational team such as Ultimate Frisbee provides a nonbinary alternative.

• B oarding schools m u s t reckon with residential life policies that still operate on heteronorm ative a s s u m p tio n s th a t all biological females identify and behave like girls, want to date boys, and should live in one dorm, and that all bio­ logical males identify and behave like boys, want to date girls, and should live in another dorm.

• In addition to learning about their own identity, students benefit from a curriculum that provides critical o p p o rtu n itie s to explore gender and sexuality across cultures, conti­ nents, and history.

Leading fro m th e Front N A I S w e lc o m e s a n d cele b ra tes th e d iv e r ­ s i ty o f o u r m e m b e r schools; w e e x p e c t m e m b e r sch o o ls to c r e a te a n d s u s t a i n d iver se, in c lu s iv e , e q u ita b le , a n d j u s t c o m ­ m u n i t i e s t h a t a re sa fe a n d w e lc o m in g f o r all; w e r e c o g n iz e to d o so re q u ires c o m m i t ­ m e n t , re fle c tio n , d e lib e r a te p l a n n i n g a n d a c ti o n , a n d o n g o in g a c c o u n ta b ility .

— NAIS Principles of Good PracticeThe field o f e d u c atio n has an opportunity to lead the way in this new era of expansive thinking about hum an identities. In d ep e n d e n t schools, in particular, are uniquely positioned to intentionally and fearlessly explore the role of gender and sexuality diversity through the lens of mission, values, and goals. Doing so will provide steady, rational leadership at a tim e when the needs o f school children have been obscured by political debates and legal arguments.

Fortunately, there are many ready vehicles for the work required:

• Offer ongoing professional devel­ opm ent that allows teachers and staff to learn, reflect, and practice (see sidebar on page 84).

• Use reaccreditation self-study for explicit GSD inquiry.

• Include GSD vision and priorities in the strategic plan.

• Invite students to conduct a GSD audit as part o f coursework in sta­ tistics, ethics, or gender studies.

• Develop comprehensive sexuality education that provides GSD scaf­ folding for all students pre-K-12.

Making the GSD paradigm shift will increase pre-K-12 schools’ abilityto achieve their overarching educa­ tional goals. In this time o f bigger is better, a little acronym may be just what we need. GSD has fewer letters, bu t it encom passes everyone, and striving for that kind o f equity and inclusivity is a hallmark value o f an independent school education.

Jennifer Bryan is a psychologist and educational consultant, specializing in gender and sexuality consultation for pre-K-12 schools (www.teamfinch consultants.com).

N o t e s 1. Joan C. Williams and Kate Massinger, “How Women Are Harassed Out o f Science," The Atlantic, July 2016.

2. Adolescent and School Health, Health Risks Among Sexual Minority Youth, wmv.cdc.gov/ healthyyouth/disparities/smy.htm.

3. Jan Hoffman, “Gay and Lesbian High School Students Report 'Heartbreaking’ Levels o f Violence," The New York Times, August 12, 2016.

4. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Agender.

5. An executive sum mary o f Letting Go o f the Binary: Comparing Continuous Versus Categorical Measures o f Sex, Gender and Sexuality, 2015, (Jennifer Bryan, Sebastian M. Barr, Christopher Overtree, and Joe Mangine) is available from the author.

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