write an argument paper of A Drug Called Tradition

EA RLY B IR D B O OKS FR ESH E BO OK D EA LS, D ELIV ER ED D AIL Y BE T H E F IR ST T O K NO W A BO UT FR EE A ND D IS C O UNTED E BO OKS NEW D EA LS H ATC H E V ER Y D AY!

" * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" T he L on e R an ger a n d T on to Fis tfig h t i n H ea ven Sherm an A le x ie " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" For B ob, D ic k, M ark , a nd R on For A dria n, J o y, L eslie , S im on, and a ll t h ose N ativ e w rite rs whose w ord s a nd m usic have m ade m in e p ossib le " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" Con te n ts Pro lo gue In tr o ductio n Every L ittle H urric an e A D ru g C alle d T ra d itio n B ecau se M y F ath er A lw ay s S aid H e W as t h e O nly I n dia n W ho Saw J im i H en drix P la y “ T he S ta r-S pan gle d B an ner” a t Woodsto ck Cra zy H ors e D re am s The O nly T ra ffic S ig nal o n t h e R ese rv atio n D oesn ’t F la sh R ed Anym ore Am use m en ts This I s W hat I t M ean s t o S ay P hoen ix , A riz o na The F un H ouse All I W an te d t o D o W as D an ce The T ria l o f T hom as B uild s-th e-F ir e Dis ta n ces Je su s C hris t’ s H alf -B ro th er I s A liv e a n d W ell o n t h e S pokan e In dia n R ese rv atio n A T ra in I s a n O rd er o f O ccu rre n ce D esig ned t o L ead t o S om e Resu lt " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" A G ood S to ry The F ir s t A nnual A ll- In dia n H ors e sh oe P itc h a n d B arb ecu e Im ag in in g t h e R ese rv atio n The A ppro xim ate S iz e o f M y F av orite T um or In dia n E ducatio n The L one R an ger a n d T onto F is tf ig ht i n H eav en Fam ily P ortr a it Som eb ody K ep t S ay in g P ow wow Witn esse s, S ecre t a n d N ot Flig ht Ju nio r P ola tk in ’s W ild W est S how A B io gra p hy o f S herm an A le x ie "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" There ’s a l ittle b it o f m agic i n e very th in g and t h en s o m e l o ss t o e ven t h in gs o ut.

—Lou R eed I l is te n t o t h e g unfir e w e c a nnot h ea r, a nd b eg in th is j o urn ey w ith t h e l ig ht o f k n ow in g th e r o ot o f m y o w n f u rio us l o ve.

—Jo y H arjo " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" Pro lo gu e An e m ail e xch ange b etw een J ess W alte r a nd S herm an A le xie F ro m : S herm an A le x ie 
 T o: J e ss W alte r 
 S en t: T hurs d ay , J u ne 2 0 
 S ubje ct: T w en tie th A nniv ers a ry Lone R anger a nd T onto S A :

S o I ’v e b een t r y in g t o w rite t h e i n tr o t o t h e 2 0th a n niv ers a ry e d itio n, b ut it fe els to o se lf -c o ngra tu la to ry , so d o y ou w an t to h av e a n e m ail e x ch an ge a b out i t a n d u se t h at a s t h e i n tr o ?

J W :

The L one R anger a nd T o nto F is tfig ht in H ea ven is 2 0!? !

Y our e m ail s e n t m e s c u rry in g t o m y s ig ned c o py. I l o oked a t t h e j a ck et p hoto a n d th ere y ou a re , w ith th e g re ate st Bre a kfa st C lu b p ro -w re stlin g w arrio r m ulle t o f a ll t im e.

S A :

T he re z m ulle t! I a ls o fin d m y fo rm er h air c u t a m usin g in s ty lis tic t e rm s. I t’s e m barra ssin g n ow . B ut t h ere ’s a lw ay s b een a c o nsc io us a n d s u bco nsc io us c la ssis t/r a cis t e d ge to m ulle t jo kes, e sp ecia lly w hen it co m es to w hite g uys w ith m ulle ts . If o ne m ean s t o t e ll a r a cis t/c la ssis t j o ke, t h en m ak e i t a g ood o ne, b ut I " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" don’t actu ally th in k th at m an y fo lk s re aliz e th e cu ltu ra l im porta n ce o f th e m ulle t in N ativ e A m eric an w arrio r h is to ry .

Tak e a l o ok a t C hie f J o se p h.

Unra v el t h ose b ra id s, m y f rie n d, a n d y ou’v e g ot a l e g en dary mulle t, co m para b le to m in e. T he co nte m pora ry m otto fo r th e mulle t w eare r is “ b usin ess in fro nt, p arty in th e b ack ,” b ut th e In dia n m ulle t w arrio r m otto w as “ I d on’t w an t m y h air to g et in my ey es as I’m k ic k in g y our ass.” T he In dia n m ulle t m otto , co in cid en ta lly o r n ot, i s t h e s a m e a s t h e m otto f o r h ock ey m ulle t weare rs . S om eb ody n eed s t o d o a s tu dy … Lookin g a t m y h air th ro ugh a s lig htly m ore s e rio us le n s, I th in k I wore su ch an ex ag gera te d m ulle t as a m ean s of ag gre ssiv ely d ecla rin g m y I n dia n i d en tity . A nd m y c la ss i d en tity .

When The L one R anger w as p ublis h ed , I w as b ein g f ê te d b y th e publis h in g w orld w hile I w as back liv in g on th e re z, afte r co lle g e. I w as c alle d “ o ne o f th e m ajo r ly ric v oic es o f o ur tim e” but a t t h e s a m e t im e I w as s le ep in g i n a U .S . A rm y s u rp lu s b ed i n th e u nfin is h ed b ase m en t b ed ro om in m y fa m ily ’s g overn m en t- built h ouse .

The c o ntr a st b etw een m y lite ra ry lif e a n d m y re al lif e w as ep ic . Scary . Even dan gero us. A nd it fe lt ep ic , sc ary , an d dan gero us f o r m an y y ears .

My m ulle t w as an in se cu rity sh ie ld . M y m ulle t w as an "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" eth nic h atc h et. M y m ulle t w as a n a rro w o n f ir e .

My m ulle t s a id t o t h e l ite ra ry w orld , “ H ello , y ou p riv ile g ed pre p -s c h ool a ssh ole s, I’m h ere to s te al y our th under, lig htn in g, an d b ook s a le s.” JW :

Y es, u ndoubte d ly : C hie f J o se p h’s b usin ess in fro nt c arrie s more p ow er a n d m ean in g th an s a y, B ria n B osw orth ’s . ( M y o w n unfo rtu nate m ulle t in clu ded a bra id ed ra tta il— ju st in case I wasn ’t w hite tr a sh e n ough.) A nd in y our a u th or p hoto f ro m th at tim e th ere is a fie rc e, ste ad y en gag em en t in your ey es th at re fle cts e x actly t h at q uality i n t h e b ook— you a re d ra w n i n b y t h e hum or, th e s o rro w , a n d th e a n ger o ver in ju stic e, th e s te ad y a n d unblin kin g c o st o f a d m is sio n. I r e m em ber s o c le arly th e r e v ie w s you w ere g ettin g, a n d e sp ecia lly th at p hra se fro m th e New Y o rk Tim es Book Revie w ’s co ver sto ry on The Busin ess of Fancyd ancin g —“o ne o f t h e m ajo r l y ric v oic es o f o ur t im e”— but I co uld n’t hav e co m pre h en ded th e pre ssu re th at su ch pra is e brin gs, e sp ecia lly th e id en tity c o m ponen t o f it, a n d s o e arly in your w ritin g lif e . T o f o llo w th ose r e v ie w s w ith a b ook lik e Lone Ranger , is , fra n kly , k in d o f fu ck in g re m ark ab le . T he b ook w on th e P E N /H em in gw ay A w ard fo r b est fir s t fic tio n a n d g arn ere d ev en m ore p ra is e , b ut it m ust h av e fe lt lik e e v en m ore w eig ht; ev ery w rite r dre am s of “stu nnin g” an d “d azzlin g,” but The "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Chic a go T rib une w ritin g, “ The L one R anger a nd T o nto F is tfig ht in H ea ven is fo r th e A m eric an In dia n w hat R ic h ard W rig ht’s Nativ e S on w as fo r th e b la ck A m eric an in 1 940.” W hat d oes a 26-y ear-o ld d o w ith t h at?

The p re ssu re o f str a d dlin g tw o w orld s co m es th ro ugh in Lone R anger . In “ A G ood S to ry ,” th e g ap is re p re se n te d b y th e sw eete st b it o f p ostm odern is t b re ak in g o f th e fo urth w all, in whic h y ou, th e a u th or, s e em to b e ly in g o n th e c o uch a n d y our moth er p le ad s w ith y ou t o “ w rite a s to ry a b out s o m eth in g g ood.” Anoth er e x am ple o f th e d is p ara te w orld s y ou’v e su dden ly fo und y ours e lf s tr a d dlin g is o ne o f m y a ll- tim e-fa v orite s to rie s, “T he T ria l of T hom as B uild s-th e-F ir e ,” w hic h beg in s w ith a wonderfu lly ap t ep ig ra p h fro m K afk a’s The Tria l : “S om eo ne must h av e b een te llin g lie s a b out J o se p h K ., f o r w ith out h av in g done a n yth in g w ro ng h e w as a rre ste d o ne fin e m orn in g.” Y our nam e, y our b oy’s n am e: J o se p h. Y ou a lm ost s e em to b e s ta k in g out te rrito ry o n th e lite ra ry sid e o f th at d iv id e, a n d h av in g to defe n d yours e lf to both sid es. T hat sto ry als o m oves to w ard so m eth in g I s e e in y our w ork — a b ro th erh ood in c la ss, T hom as on th e b us to p ris o n w ith “ fo ur A fric an m en , o ne C hic an o, a n d a white m an f ro m th e s m alle st to w n in th e s ta te ,” d eliv erin g th em to “ a n ew k in d o f re se rv atio n, b arrio , g hetto , lo ggin g-to w n tin sh ack .” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" SA :

A nd n ow I r e m em ber a New Y o rk er m ag azin e p arty e arly in my c are er w hen I s te p ped o ut o f a p en th ouse a p artm en t e le v ato r an d s a w S te p hen K in g a n d S alm an R ush die h uggin g e ach o th er.

What d oes a r e z b oy d o w ith t h at v is u al i n fo rm atio n?

Oh b oy, d o I still fe el lik e a c la ss w arrio r in th e lite ra ry world . I n th e w hole w orld , r e ally . T hese s to rie s a re d re n ch ed in poverty a n d h elp le ssn ess.

We’v e ta lk ed a b out th is a f e w tim es. I o fte n m ak e th e jo ke th at y our t r a ile r p ark p overty m ak es m y r e z p overty l o ok g ood.

But t h at’s a n o verlo oked p art o f t h ese s to rie s, I t h in k. I g re w up i n t h e t r ib e c alle d t h e R ura l P oor, a s d id y ou, a n d I d on’t t h in k fo lk s th in k o f u s th at w ay. I g re w u p in w heat f ie ld s. I g re w u p clim bin g to th e to ps o f p in e tr e es. I g re w u p a n gry a n d r e ad y to punch a r ic h g uy i n t h e e ar.

So, y eah , r e alis m is m y th in g in th is b ook. A uto bio gra p hy, to o. N ot a n a u to bio gra p hy o f d eta ils b ut a n a u to bio gra p hy o f th e so ul.

One t h in g: I w ro te t h is b ook i n t h e m id dle o f a d ecad e-lo ng eff o rt t o b elie v e i n G od. S o i t’s c u rio us t o s e e t h e u ncy nic al G od hunger i n t h e b oy I w as.

JW :

O h m an ! T hat’s a little m ore h ig h-p ow ere d h ug th an y ou an d I huggin g at th e LA T im es B ook F estiv al in 1 996. I still "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" re m em ber, you sa id , “W hat are you doin g here ?” T hen you in tr o duced m e to H ele n F ie ld in g, o f all p eo ple . “T his is Je ss Walte r, th e se co nd-b est write r fro m Ste v en s County , Wash in gto n.” A nd w e b oth l a u ghed , b ecau se y ou a n d I k new t h at I w as t h e O NLY o th er w rite r f ro m S te v en s C ounty , W ash in gto n.

To m y sh am e now , I gre w up em barra sse d ab out bein g blu eco lla r, a fir s t- g en era tio n co lle g e stu den t, a 19-y ear- o ld fa th er. W e u su ally th in k o f p assin g in te rm s o f r a ce, b ut p eo ple tr y t o p ass a s a n oth er c la ss, t o o. I d id t h at.

You, h ow ev er, se em ed to k now — at le ast as a w rite r— to cla im c la ss a s a s u bje ct, th at lite ra tu re b elo ngs to th e p oor s h its , to o. Y our s to rie s a re s n eak y th at w ay : T hey c o nfro nt r e ad ers o n th at l e v el; t h ere ’s a q uie t i n sis te n ce t h at T H IS W ORLD i s a s r ic h a l ite ra ry w orld a s L ondon o r N ew Y ork , t h at B en ja m in L ak e c an be a s p ro fo und a p la ce a s W ald en P ond, th at T sh im ik ain C re ek can h av e e v ery b it a s m uch l ite ra ry r e so nan ce a s t h e T ham es.

But p la ce a n d c la ss a re o nly p art o f th e s to ry . M an y p eo ple te ll m e t h at t h ey h ad n o p ic tu re o f c o nte m pora ry r e se rv atio n l if e , or ev en u rb an In dia n lif e , u ntil re ad in g The L one R anger a nd To nto F is tfig ht i n H ea ven . T o b re ak I n dia n s o ut o f m use u m s a n d movie s an d C hie f W ah oo— th at’s a le g acy fo r an y b ook. T he book an d Sm oke Sig nals gav e m an y th eir fir s t pic tu re of co nte m pora ry N ativ e A m eric an l if e .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Auto bio gra phy o f th e so ul is a g re at p hra se . I re m em ber so m eo ne o n th e r e se rv atio n te llin g m e b ack w hen I c o vere d th e Spokan e T rib e a n d y our b ook c am e u p, “ Y ou k now w hat th at book s e em ed l ik e t o m e? T he n ew s.” So, w hat d o y ou m ak e o f p eo ple w ho h av e c alle d y our w ork “m ag ic al r e alis m ”? I w onder if th ere is n ’t a c u ltu ra l g ap in th at phra se , a w hiff o f c o lo nia lis m . I ’m a b ig G arc ía M árq uez f a n a n d re ad in g h is a u to bio gra p hy is n ot s o m uch d iff e re n t th an r e ad in g his f ic tio n.

SA :

D esc rib in g m y b ook a s “ m ag ic al re alis m ” d oes m ak e m e fe el l ik e a w itc h d octo r i n b lu e j e an s. I ’v e g ot a f rie n d w ho c alls me S ham an P erp le x y. I l ik e t h at. I s n ’t a ll f ic tio n ( a n d n onfic tio n) mag ic al re alis m ? A re n ’t w e a ll m ak in g s h it u p, a n d if w e d o it well e n ough, i t c an f e el s u rre al? A nyw ay, I ’m n ot n early a s m uch of a m ag ic al r e alis t a s F la n nery O ’C onnor.

What i s y our f a v orite s to ry i n t h e b ook?

JW :

W hat f e els s u rre al to m e a re th ose s to rie s o f k id s g ro w in g up o n th e U pper E ast S id e, g oin g to su m mer c am p, th en p re p sc h ool, t h en c h oosin g b etw een H arv ard a n d Y ale … s c i- fi.

“Je su s C hris t’s H alf -B ro th er … ” is a h uge sto ry , d re am y an d p la in tiv e. I ’m n ot s u rp ris e d to h ear y ou w ere c o nte m pla tin g your f a ith a s y ou w ork ed o n t h is b ook. I h av e a s e n tim en ta l s w eet "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" sp ot fo r th e sto rie s ab out bask etb all, esp ecia lly “In dia n Educatio n” an d “T he O nly T ra ff ic S ig nal on th e R ese rv atio n Doesn ’t F la sh R ed A nym ore .” O ne o f m y fa v orite fir s t lin es is fro m “T he Fir s t A nnual A ll- In dia n H ors e Shoe Pitc h an d Barb ecu e”: “ S om eb ody f o rg ot t h e c h arc o al; b la m e t h e B IA .” B ut I t h in k t h e s to ry t h at m oved m e t h e m ost a t t h e t im e w as “ T his I s What it M ean s to S ay P hoen ix , A riz o na.” W hen I w en t b ack to th at sto ry , I w as am azed y ou acco m plis h ed all o f th at in 1 6 pag es. T hat s to ry w as a n ovel i n m y m in d.

Jess W alte r i s t h e a uth or o f e ig ht b ooks, i n clu din g t h e b ests e lle r Beau tif u l R uin s and The Z ero , a fin alis t fo r th e N atio nal B ook Aw ard . H e g re w u p in S poka ne a nd o n a s m all r a nch b ord erin g th e Spoka ne R ese rv a tio n. H e and Sherm an A le xie have been fr ie n ds f o r t w en ty y ea rs.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" In tr o d uctio n I N F E B RU ARY 1 992 H an gin g L oose P re ss o f B ro okly n, N ew Y ork , p ublis h ed m y fir s t b ook o f p oem s a n d sto rie s, The B usin ess o f F ancyd ancin g, a n d I fig ure d it w ould se ll tw o h undre d c o pie s, o ne h undre d a n d tw en ty -fiv e o f th em p urc h ase d b y m y m oth er.

A fte r a ll, it w as a fir s t b ook b y a tw en ty -s ix -y ear- o ld S pokan e R ese rv atio n In dia n b oy fro m e aste rn W ash in gto n. T here w as a g ood c h an ce it w ould o nly s e ll tw en ty -tw o c o pie s, s e v en te en o f t h em p urc h ase d b y m y m oth er, th e fo rm alis t, w ho co nsta n tly a sk ed m e w hy m y p oem s d id n’t r h ym e.

“It’s f re e v ers e ,” I s a id . “ A nd s o m e o f th em d o r h ym e. I ’v e w ritte n s o nnets , s e stin as, a n d v illa n elle s. I’v e w ritte n in ia m bic p en ta m ete r.” “W hat’ s t h at? ” “It’s th e ba-b um p, b a-b um p so und o f th e h eartb eat, o f th e d eer r u nnin g th ro ugh th e g re en p in e f o re st, o f th e e ag le s in gin g i ts w ay t h ro ugh t h e s k y.” “D on’t p ull th at In dia n sh am an cra p o n m e,” m y m oth er s a id .

So m y m oth er c erta in ly w asn ’t i m pre sse d b y m y i n dig en ous r h eto ric , but sh e w ould hav e been delir io usly hap py if I’d " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" beco m e a m essia n ic d octo r o r l a w yer ( o r a d octo r o r l a w yer w ith only a m essia h c o m ple x ) a n d sa v ed th e tr ib e. In a c ap ita lis tic se n se , th at’s w hat th e tr ib e n eed ed ( a n d s till n eed s). B ut I w as a fo rm er p re m ed ic in e m ajo r w ho c o uld n’t h an dle h um an a n ato m y, an d I k new fa r to o m an y la w yers , so I ch ose th e th ir d m ost lu cra tiv e p urs u it: s m all- p re ss p oetr y .

My fa m ily w as su rp ris e d , b ut th ey w ere n ’t d is a p poin te d .

Sin ce I w as o ne o f th e fe w p eo ple fro m m y tr ib e to e v er g o to co lle g e, I w as alr e ad y a su ccess sto ry . M y m oth er w ork ed a se rie s o f lo w -w ag e s o cia l- w ork jo bs f o r th e tr ib e, a n d m y f a th er was a ra n dom ly em plo yed b lu e-c o lla r alc o holic . I m ad e m ore money d eliv erin g p iz zas th an th ey d id w hile w ork in g fa r m ore im porta n t j o bs. I m ig ht h av e b een c o nsid ere d a b la ck s h eep i f I ’d co m e f ro m a m ore f in an cia lly s u ccessfu l f a m ily , b ut m y lite ra ry am bitio ns m ad e m e a w hite s h eep , a lb eit a la m b w ho p ublis h ed in tin y poetr y m ag azin es lik e The B la ck B ea r R evie w , G ia nts Pla y W ell i n t h e D riz zle , I m petu s, a n d Slip str e a m .

Don’t get m e w ro ng. I w as ex cite d an d pro ud to be a publis h in g p oet ( a n d s till h av e c o pie s o f e v ery j o urn al w here I ’v e been publis h ed ), but I als o kep t m y day jo b as a pro gra m in fo rm atio n c o ord in ato r ( s e cre ta ry ) f o r P eo ple to P eo ple , a h ig h sc h ool i n te rn atio nal- e x ch an ge p ro gra m i n S pokan e. I k new t h at I would e v en tu ally r e tu rn t o c o lle g e ( I l e ft t h re e c re d its s h y o f m y "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" B.A . in A m eric an stu die s), get th at deg re e, an d th en tr u dge th ro ugh g ra d uate sc h ool in cre ativ e w ritin g. B ut I w as in n o hurry to do th at. I ju st w an te d to w rite m y poem s (a n d th e occasio nal s to ry ) a n d liv e a s c h eap ly a s p ossib le . I k new h ow to liv e in p overty , h av in g g ro w n u p o n a n A m eric an th ir d -w orld re se rv atio n, so m y urb an six -d olla rs -a n -h our jo b w as alm ost lu xurio us.

But a New Yo rk Tim es B ook R evie w ed ito r nam ed R ic h Nic h olls ch an ged m y lif e w hen he notic ed The B usin ess of Fan cyd ancin g ly in g in a n o ff ic e s lu sh p ile . A s h e la te r to ld m e, he t h ought t h e c o ver w as e x tr a o rd in arily b eau tif u l— it f e atu re d a su rre al p hoto gra p h o f a N av ajo fa n cy dan cer th at so m e re ad ers wro ngly assu m ed was m y se lf -p ortr a it— an d th at was th e prim ary r e aso n h e p ic k ed i t u p a n d f lip ped t h ro ugh t h e p ag es. H e assig ned th e b ook, a s w ell a s a f e w o th ers a s p art o f a s u rv ey o f co nte m pora ry N ativ e A m eric an lite ra tu re , to J a m es K in caid , a n Englis h p ro fe sso r a t th e U niv ers ity o f S outh ern C alif o rn ia . M y Han gin g L oose e d ito rs w ere s h ock ed to h ear o ne o f th eir b ooks was b ein g re v ie w ed , b ecau se th ere are P ulitz er P riz e– w in nin g poets w hose b ooks d on’t g et c o vere d in th e T im es. A nd m ore sh ock in g, m y b ook w as p art o f a fro nt- p ag e re v ie w . Y ep , rig ht th ere o n t h e c o ver o f t h e T im es B ook R evie w w as a p hoto gra p h o f so m e In dia n g uy o n a m oto rc y cle (I’m te rrif ie d o f a n y v eh ic le "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" with le ss th an fo ur w heels ), an d in sid e th at re v ie w w as M r.

Kin caid decla rin g m e “o ne of th e m ajo r ly ric voic es of our tim e.” I w as sittin g at m y desk at P eo ple to P eo ple w hen m y Han gin g L oose e d ito r, B ob H ers h on, f a x ed m e a n a d van ce c o py of th e re v ie w . I re ad it o nce, ra n to th e b ath ro om to th ro w u p, th en re tu rn ed to m y d esk to re ad o ne s e n te n ce a g ain a n d a g ain :

“M r. A le x ie ’s i s o ne o f t h e m ajo r l y ric v oic es o f o ur t im e.” As K ean u Reev es, th e H aw aiia n balla d eer, w ould sa y, “W hoa.” I d id n’t b elie v e I w as o ne o f th e m ajo r ly ric v oic es o f o ur tim e ( th ough I ’m p ro bab ly i n t h e t o p 5 03 b y n ow ), b ut I g uesse d th at re v ie w w as g oin g to h elp m y c are er. In fa ct, th at re v ie w to sse d m y ass over th e sta d iu m fe n ce dir e ctly in to th e big le ag ues. A fte r K in caid ’s co m plim en ts w en t public , I sta rte d re ceiv in g p hone c alls f ro m a g en ts a n d e d ito rs . M an y p hone c alls .

Dozen s o f c alls . A H olly w ood p ro ducer i n te rro gate d m e.

“A re t h e f ilm r ig hts a v aila b le ?” h e a sk ed .

“W ell, y eah ,” I s a id . “ B ut y ou k now i t’ s a b ook o f p oem s? ” “W hat d o y ou m ean , a b ook o f p oem s? ” “I m ean , poem s, you know , w ith sk in ny lin es, sta n zas, mostly f re e v ers e , b ut s o m e r h ym in g s tu ff , to o. M y m om th in ks th ey ’re p re tty c o ol.” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “Y ou m ean p oem p oem s? ” “Y es.” “D o y our p oem s t e ll a s to ry ?” “M ost o f t h em a re n arra tiv e.” “T hat’s g ood, t h at’s g ood. C ould y ou s e n d m e a c o py o f t h e book?” “Y ou h av en ’t r e ad i t? ” “N o,” he sa id . “B ut I re ad th e re v ie w . T he re v ie w w as gre at.” Dozen s o f ag en ts an d ed ito rs lo ved th e re v ie w (th ough I wonder h ow m an y o f th em h ad re ad th e b ook), an d th ey all wan te d t o k now i f I w ro te f ic tio n.

“W ell,” I s a id t o t h em . “ It’s n ot j u st a b ook o f p oetr y . T here are f o ur s h ort s to rie s i n t h ere , t o o. A nd a l o t o f p ro se p oem s.” “B ut d o y ou w rite f ic tio n?” “I h av e a m an usc rip t o f s h ort s to rie s. T here m ust b e th ir ty or f o rty s to rie s i n i t.” “B ut d o y ou w rite f ic tio n?” I d id n’t re aliz e th at “fic tio n” w as a sy nonym fo r “S ure , we’ll p ublis h y our b ook o f o bsc u re s h ort s to rie s a s lo ng a s w e can a ls o p ublis h y our s lig htly l e ss o bsc u re f ir s t n ovel a s p art o f a tw o-b ook d eal.” I w as te rrif ie d b y a ll o f th ese b ig -tim e a g en ts a n d e d ito rs , "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" an d e sp ecia lly o f o ne p artic u la r a g en t, w ho e n jo yed m ore fa m e an d f o rtu ne t h an a n y o f h er c lie n ts d id .

“S en d m e t h e m an usc rip t t o day ,” t h e f a m ous a g en t o rd ere d .

Bullie d , te rrif ie d , a n d n aiv e, I se n t h er m y m an usc rip t o f sh ort sto rie s, gla cia lly prin te d out by a fiv e-h undre d -d olla r Bro th er w ord p ro cesso r.

“Y ou’re n ot re ad y,” sh e sa id afte r sh e’d re ad th em . “I’ll ta k e y ou o n a s a c lie n t, b ut w e’re g oin g t o h av e t o w ork o n t h ese sto rie s f o r a y ear o r t w o b efo re I s e n d t h em o ut t o p ublis h ers .” I w as s h ock ed . I h ad b een d re am in g a b out im med ia te f a m e an d f o rtu ne.

“B ut w ait,” I s a id . “ I th ought I w as o ne o f th e m ajo r ly ric voic es o f o ur t im e.” “A cco rd in g t o t h e m an usc rip t I ’v e g ot s ittin g i n f ro nt o f m e, you’re n ot e v en o ne o f t h e m ajo r l y ric v oic es o n m y d esk .” Ouch . T hat o ne re ally h urt. A nd th is w om an w an te d to b e my a g en t? W as th at h ow a g en ts w ere s u ppose d to ta lk to th eir clie n ts ? A nd w ho t h e h ell w as I , c allin g m yse lf o ne o f t h e m ajo r ly ric v oic es o f o ur t im e? I w as w onderin g i f I s h ould g et b usin ess card s th at id en tif ie d m e as su ch , or perh ap s le av e it on m y an sw erin g m ach in e.

Hello , yo u’v e re a ch ed S herm an A le xie , o ne o f th e m ajo r ly ric v o ic es o f o ur t im e. P le a se l e a ve a m essa ge i f y o u’re n ot t o o "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" in tim id ate d and I’ll get back to yo u, w ith m y versa tile and melliflu ous v o ic e, a s s o on a s p ossib le .

Of c o urs e , th ese d ay s m y w if e , D ia n e, o nly r e fe rs to m e a s “o ne o f th e m ajo r ly ric v oic es o f o ur tim e” w hen I stu tte r o r mis p ro nounce a w ord o r sa y so m eth in g so in an e a n d a rro gan t th at it d efie s lo gic . A fe w y ears ag o, as w e arg ued ab out th e pote n tia l d an ger in u sin g a c ra ck ed c o ff e ep ot, I sh oute d , “ Y ou can ’t h eat c ra ck ed g la ss! I t w ill s h atte r! I m ajo re d in c h em is tr y !

I k now g la ss! W hat d o y ou k now a b out g la ss? ” Yep , I hav e ju st off e re d you sc ie n tif ic pro of of th e majo rn ess o f m y v oic e.

“B ut th e th in g is ,” I s a id to th e fa m ous a g en t. “ I th in k m y sto rie s a re p re tty g ood. A nd I h ate to b e r e p etitiv e, b ut th ey s a id I’m o ne o f t h e m ajo r l y ric v oic es o f o ur t im e.” “T hese s to rie s a re n ot m ajo r. B ut y ou’v e g ot p ote n tia l. I ’m a gre at e d ito r. I f w e t a k e i t s lo w , w e c an m ak e t h is b ook t h e b est i t can b e.” “I d on’t k now ,” I s a id . “ I w as h opin g t h in gs w ould g o m uch fa ste r.” “G oin g f a st w ould b e a m is ta k e f o r y ou.” “I d on’t w an t t o g o s lo w . I c an ’t a ffo rd t o g o s lo w .” “T hen w e w on’t b e w ork in g t o geth er. C all m e i f y ou c h an ge your m in d.” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" She h ung u p w ith out s a y in g g ood-b ye. I’d a lw ay s h eard o f peo ple w ho h ung u p w ith out s a y in g g ood-b ye. I ’d s e en th em o n te le v is io n a n d in m ovie s, b ut I ’d n ev er ta lk ed to s o m eb ody w ho hung u p w ith out s a y in g g ood-b ye. S he r e m ain s t h e o nly p ers o n I know w ho h as e v er h ung u p o n m e w ith out s a y in g g ood-b ye.

I s till o w e h er a p hone c all.

I w ould lo ve to c all h er u p a n d sa y, “ W ell, M is s F if te en Perc en t, w e p ublis h ed t h is b ook a t t h e s p eed o f t h e l ig ht, a n d i t’s now in its 1 ,2 20,3 42nd p rin tin g, a n d it w as th e b asis f o r a r e ally co ol m ovie c alle d S m oke S ig nals . M ay be y ou’v e h eard o f th e movie ? I t w as r e le ase d b y M ir a m ax , y es, M ir a m ax , t h at’ s s p elle d M-I-R -A -M -A -X , a n d th e m ovie w on th e A udie n ce A w ard a n d th e F ilm mak ers ’ T ro phy a t th e S undan ce F ilm F estiv al in 1 998.

Yes, th at’s Robert F re a kin g R ed fo rd ’s S undance F ilm F estiv a l!

And I’v e p ublis h ed o ne m illio n b ooks s in ce th at fir s t o ne, a n d I’v e h ugged S te p hen K in g a n d b een k is se d o n th e c h eek b y A lly Sheed y a n d s a t in a b ig c o uch in K are em A bdul- J a b bar’s liv in g ro om w hile m y fe et d an gle d o ff th e flo or, s o p erh ap s y ou w ere wro ng a b out E V ERY TH IN G! A nd b y t h e w ay, w hat d o y ou k now ab out g la ss? ” As th ey sa y, re v en ge is a dis h best se rv ed w ith th e in tr o ductio n to th e te n th -a n niv ers a ry e d itio n o f a b ook o f s h ort sto rie s.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Even tu ally , d esp ite m y n arc is sis m a n d n aïv eté , a n d th an ks to th e re co m men datio ns of frie n ds, I m et th e ag en t N an cy Sta u ff e r Cah oon, who, afte r re ad in g m y m an usc rip t, sa id so m eth in g b eau tif u l a n d s u rp ris in g.

“T hat s to ry , ‘ F lig ht,’ th e o ne a b out th e k id a n d th e je t,” s h e sa id . “ T hat r e m in ds m e o f J a m es T ate ’s p oem ‘ T he L ost P ilo t.’ ” “W ow ,” I sa id , fa llin g in lite ra ry lo ve. “T hat sto ry w as dir e ctly i n flu en ced b y t h at p oem . N obody h as e v er n otic ed t h at.” “Y ou had m e at hello ,” R en ée Z ellw eg er sa id to Tom Cru is e .

“Y ou h ad m e a t J a m es T ate ,” I s a id t o N an cy .

Okay, I d id n’t re ally s a y th at to h er. B ut I w as im pre sse d th at sh e ta lk ed to m e fir s t in artis tic te rm s an d o nly la te r in fin an cia l te rm s. I h ir e d h er im med ia te ly ( o r d oes th e a g en t h ir e th e w rite r? ), w ork ed w ith her to ed it th e m an usc rip t, an d im med ia te ly cu t “F lig ht” an d a dozen oth er sto rie s. A s a se n tim en ta l g estu re , I’v e a d ded “ F lig ht” a n d “ Ju nio r P ola tk in ’s Wild W est S how ” to th is e d itio n. I th in k w e d ele te d “ F lig ht” fro m th e o rig in al b ook b ecau se it so unds m ore lik e c h ild re n ’s lite ra tu re an d “Ju nio r P ola tk in ’s W ild W est S how ” b ecau se it co nta in s th em es m ore ad ro itly co vere d in o th er sto rie s. R ead th em f o r y ours e lf a n d d ecid e w heth er w e s h ould h av e k ep t t h em .

Afte r N an cy a n d I g ot th e m an usc rip t in to s h ap e, w e s e n t it "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" to tw elv e o r f if te en p ublis h ers a n d s e t u p a n a u ctio n d ate . I w as goin g to b e a u ctio ned a s a lite ra te s te er! O n a F rid ay in J a n uary 1993, six or eig ht publis h ers jo in ed th e bid din g. D urin g th e au ctio n, I u pdate d B ob H ers h on, m y H an gin g L oose g od, an d Dia n e, m y n ew g ir lf rie n d ( a n d n ow w if e ). B y t h e e n d o f t h e d ay, Morg an Entr e k in an d A tla n tic M onth ly Pre ss had w on th e au ctio n; th en p ublis h ed th e b ook in S ep te m ber 1 993. D urin g th e tw en ty -s e v en -c ity b ook to ur th at fo llo w ed , I w ork ed w ith an d becam e frie n ds w ith , an d o w e m an y th an ks to , M org an , Ju dy Hotte n se n , M iw a M esse r, an d E ric P ric e, m y o rig in al D re am Team a t G ro ve.

Gro ve w on t h at o rig in al a u ctio n w ith a n a m ount o f c ash t h at ab so lu te ly b oggle d m y m in d. M y p are n ts h ad n’t m ad e t h at m uch money i n t h e l a st t e n y ears c o m bin ed . I r a n o uts id e, j u m ped i n to a s n ow ban k, a n d m ad e a n gels .

I w as ric h , ric h , ric h . O kay, to b e m ore accu ra te , I w as mid dle -c la ss, m id dle -c la ss, m id dle -c la ss. B ut th at w as a h uge le ap . I w as th e f ir s t A le x ie to e v er b eco m e m id dle -c la ss a n d a ll becau se I w ro te sto rie s an d p oem s ab out b ein g a p oor In dia n gro w in g u p i n a n a lc o holic f a m ily o n a n a lc o holic r e se rv atio n.

This b ook c o uld h av e e asily b een title d The L one R anger and T o nto G et D ru nk, F is tfig ht, a nd T hen F all i n to E ach O th er’s Arm s a nd C onfe ss T heir U ndyin g P la to nic L ove fo r E ach O th er "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" in H ea ven F ollo w ed b y a L ong E ven in g o f H ot D og R eg urg ita tio n and P ublic U rin atio n.

When th e b ook w as fir s t p ublis h ed , I w as (a n d c o ntin ue to be) vilif ie d in certa in cir c le s fo r m y alc o hol- s o ak ed sto rie s.

Rere ad in g t h em , I s u ppose m y c ritic s h av e a p oin t. E very body i n th is b ook is d ru nk o r in lo ve w ith a d ru nk. A nd in w ritin g a b out dru nk I n dia n s, I a m d ealin g w ith s te re o ty pic al m ate ria l. B ut I c an only re sp ond w ith th e tr u th . In m y fa m ily , co untin g pare n ts , sib lin gs, a n d d ozen s o f a u nts , u ncle s, a n d c o usin s, th ere a re le ss th an a d ozen w ho a re c u rre n tly s o ber, a n d o nly a f e w w ho h av e nev er dra n k. W hen I w rite ab out th e destr u ctiv e eff e cts of alc o hol o n I n dia n s, I a m n ot w ritin g o ut o f a lite ra ry s ta n ce o r a co lo niz ed m in d’s need to re in fo rc e ste re o ty pes. I am w ritin g au to bio gra p hy.

When th is book was fir s t re v ie w ed , peo ple ofte n co m men te d on its au to bio gra p hic al natu re , an d th at alw ay s pis se d m e o ff.

“Y ou s e e t h e d esc rip tio n o n t h e b ook,” I w ould s a y. “ It s a y s ‘F ic tio n.’ T hat’ s w hat t h is b ook i s .” Of c o urs e , I w as f u ll o f s h it. T his b ook i s a t h in ly d is g uis e d mem oir. I w as a ch ild at th e cra zy N ew Y ear’s E ve party dep ic te d in “E very L ittle H urric an e.” M y m oth er did punch an oth er w om an in th e fa ce durin g th at party . M y fa th er an d "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" co usin d id b re ak th ro ugh th e b ase m en t d oor w hile p la y in g fu ll- co nta ct N erf b ask etb all a n d ro ll d ow n th e sta ir s to geth er. T he best tr u th a b out th at s to ry is th at m y m oth er d id s to p d rin kin g afte r t h at h orrib le n ig ht a n d h as r e m ain ed s o ber s in ce. T he w ors t tr u th ? M y fa th er nev er did get so ber. H e w as in re sid en tia l tr e atm en t a fe w tim es, a tte n ded d ozen s o f A A m eetin gs, to ok Anta b use , m ad e e n dle ss p ro m is e s to h is f a m ily a n d h im se lf , b ut en ded u p o n d ia ly sis m ach in es d urin g h is la st y ears a n d lo st a fo ot to d ia b ete s b efo re h e p asse d a w ay in M arc h 2 003. O m y dru nk a n d lo vely fa th er! H e w as o ne o f th e In dia n s w ho to sse d his d ru nken f rie n d o nto t h e r o lle r c o aste r i n “ A m use m en ts .” H ow co uld o ne In dia n h av e d one su ch a th in g to a n oth er In dia n ? I nev er a sk ed m y fa th er w hy h e d id it, b ut I w ro te a s to ry a b out why I th ought it h ap pen ed , a n d e v en a fte r m y fa th er re ad th e sto ry , I s till d id n’t h av e th e c o ura g e to a sk h im w hy h e d id it.

How l a m e i s t h at?

What e ls e is tr u e? M y b est frie n d, S te v e, a n d I tr a v ele d to Phoen ix t o p ic k u p h is f a th er’s a sh es j u st l ik e V ic to r a n d T hom as do in “ T his I s W hat I t M ean s to S ay P hoen ix , A riz o na,” th ough th e f ic tio nal f a th er w as m uch m ore lik e m y f a th er th an S te v e’s .

And y es, t h ere w as a f le x ib le g ym nast o n t h e a ir p la n e d urin g t h e tr ip w ho t o ld S te v e a n d m e t h at s h e w as t h e f ir s t a lte rn ate o n t h e 1984 O ly m pic te am . I s th at w om an o ut th ere s o m ew here ? D oes "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" sh e re m em ber tw o In dia n guys sittin g acro ss fro m her on a Morris A ir flig ht fro m Spokan e th ro ugh Salt Lak e C ity to Phoen ix ?

A te rrif ie d m ouse did ru n up m y au nt’s pan t le g , but I wild ly e x ag gera te d th e a fte rm ath in “ T he F un H ouse .” M y a u nt did n’t g o s w im min g i n t h e c re ek , n ev er f e lt a n eed t o d iv orc e h er husb an d o r le av e h er s o n, a n d s h e w as m ad a t m e f o r s u ggestin g oth erw is e .

“Ju nio r,” sh e sa id . “P eo ple are g oin g to th in k th at re ally hap pen ed .” “B ut it d id re ally h ap pen , A untie . A t le ast th e m ouse p art.

It’ s a t r u e s to ry .” “Y eah , b ut i t’ s t r u er w hen i t’ s i n a b ook.” “In dia n E ducatio n” is a tr u e (a n d tr u er) acco unt of m y public s c h ool d ay s. I s till h av e n ig htm are s a b out m is sin g th ose tw o fre e th ro w s to lo se th at b ask etb all g am e a g ain st R itz v ille .

Tw en ty years la te r, I can te ll you th at Doug W ells a n dt, Ritz v ille ’s s ta r, h ad j u st f o ule d o ut a fte r h e i n te n tio nally k nock ed me to th e g ro und to p re v en t m e fro m h ittin g an easy la y up.

While I sto od at th e lin e to sh oot th e fre e th ro w s w ith six se co nds on th e clo ck , R itz v ille had K eith H um phre y, Jo hn Pow ers , D oug K och , M ile s C urtis , an d Je ff M cB ro om o n th e co urt w hile m y te am mate s— Ste v e L eB re t, S hau n S olid ay, J o hn "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Gra h am , an d B re tt S prin ger— were p ra y in g fo r m e to w in th e gam e. W e h ad co m e fro m six te en p oin ts d ow n in th e fo urth quarte r! I t w ould h av e b een a m ir a cle v ic to ry ! B ut I m is se d t h ose fu ck in g fre e th ro w s, c la n gin g th e b all o ff th e rim tw ic e. U ntil th at p oin t, I h ad b een a 9 0 p erc en t f re e-th ro w s h oote r. A fte r th at nig ht, I w as a 5 0 p erc en t lo se r. I w as a v ic tim o f a h ig h s c h ool bask etb all f o rm o f P ost- T ra u m atic F re e-T hro w S tr e ss S yndro m e.

When I s e e a n y o f m y f o rm er t e am mate s n ow , t h ey s till t e ase m e ab out lo sin g th at g am e. A y ear a fte r th ose m is se s, I h it tw o f re e th ro w s a n d tw o ju m p sh ots in th e la st m in ute to w in a b ig ger gam e a g ain st R itz v ille , b ut I n ev er d re am a b out th at. H ell, m y jo y i n w in nin g i s a lw ay s m uch s m alle r t h an m y p ain i n l o sin g.

I’m a p oet w ho c an w hin e i n m ete r.

And ju st lik e th e f a th er- s o n te am in “ W itn esse s, S ecre t a n d Not,” m y fa th er an d I once tr a v ele d to S pokan e becau se th e polic e w an te d to ta lk to h im a b out a lo ng-m is sin g a n d p re su m ed dead I n dia n m an . A nd y es, m y f a th er k new w ho k ille d a n d b urie d th at m an , a s d o m ost o f t h e p eo ple o n m y r e se rv atio n. T he p olic e know , t o o, b ut t h ey c an ’t m ak e a c ase a g ain st t h e k ille r. I s e e t h at man n ow a n d a g ain . H e’s s o ft- s p oken , fu nny, a n d a lw ay s w ears sla ck s a n d b utto n-d ow n d re ss sh ir ts . H e o nce a te d in ner a t m y house w hile I w orrie d w hat h e m ig ht d o w ith h is k nif e a n d f o rk .

But t h at’ s a w hole d if fe re n t s to ry , i s n ’t i t?

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" So w hy a m I te llin g y ou th at th ese s to rie s a re tr u e? F ir s t o f all, th ey ’re n ot r e ally tr u e. T hey a re th e v is io n o f o ne in div id ual lo okin g a t th e liv es o f h is fa m ily a n d h is e n tir e tr ib e, s o th ese sto rie s a re n ecessa rily b ia se d , in co m ple te , e x ag gera te d , d elu ded , an d o fte n ju st p la in w ro ng. B ut in tr y in g to m ak e th em tr u e a n d re al, I a m w ritin g w hat m ig ht b e c alle d r e se rv atio n r e alis m .

What is th e d efin itio n o f r e se rv atio n r e alis m ? W ell, I ’ll le t you r e ad t h e b ook a n d f ig ure t h at o ut f o r y ours e lf .

As f o r m e, in r e re ad in g th ese s to rie s, s o m e o f th em w ritte n when I w as o nly n in ete en y ears o ld , I f e el l ik e I ’m l is te n in g t o a str a n ger’s d re am s. T he y ounger v ers io n o f m e is a n grie r, m ore im puls iv e, a n d d eath ly a fra id o f p hysic al d esc rip tio n. E very d an g In dia n in th is book is desc rib ed as bein g id en tic ally dark sk in ned , w ith t h e s a m e l o ng b la ck h air. I t’s t h e S te p fo rd T rib e o f In dia n s. T here m ig ht b e fiv e o r six p in e tr e es a n d a c o uple o f riv ers a n d s tr e am s, o ne g riz zly b ear a n d a lo t o f d ogs, b ut th at’s ab out a ll t h e f lo ra a n d f a u na y ou’re g oin g t o g et. I t’s s im ple s tu ff but m an ag es to fe el m ore c o ncen tr a te d ra th er th an sp ars e . It’s fu nny, to o. I la u ghed a fe w tim es a t th e o ld jo kes, n ew to m e afte r te n y ears . B ut m ostly it fe els s a d , o fte n h opele ss, a n d h ot with l o nelin ess. I k ep t t r y in g t o f ig ure o ut t h e m ain t o pic , t h e b ig th em e, th e o vera rc h in g id ea, th e ep ic en te r. A nd it is th is : th e so ns i n t h is b ook r e ally l o ve a n d h ate t h eir f a th ers .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" EV ER Y L IT TLE HURRIC ANE A LT H OUGH IT W AS W IN TER , th e n eare st o cean fo ur h undre d m ile s a w ay, a n d th e T rib al W eath erm an a sle ep b ecau se o f b ore d om , a h urric an e d ro pped fro m th e s k y in 1 976 a n d fe ll s o h ard o n th e S pokan e I n dia n R ese rv atio n t h at i t k nock ed V ic to r f ro m b ed a n d h is l a te st n ig htm are .

It w as Ja n uary an d V ic to r w as nin e years old . H e w as s le ep in g i n h is b ed ro om i n t h e b ase m en t o f t h e H UD h ouse w hen i t h ap pen ed . H is m oth er an d fa th er w ere u psta ir s , h ostin g th e l a rg est N ew Y ear’s E ve p arty in tr ib al h is to ry , w hen th e w in ds i n cre ase d a n d t h e f ir s t t r e e f e ll.

“G oddam n i t,” o ne I n dia n y elle d a t a n oth er a s t h e a rg um en t b eg an . “ Y ou a in ’t s h it, y ou f u ck in g a p ple .” The tw o In dia n s ra g ed a cro ss th e ro om a t e ach o th er. O ne w as t a ll a n d h eav y, t h e o th er w as s h ort, m usc u la r. H ig h-p re ssu re a n d l o w -p re ssu re f ro nts .

The m usic w as so lo ud th at V ic to r c o uld b are ly h ear th e v oic es a s t h e t w o I n dia n s e sc ala te d t h e a rg um en t i n to a f is tf ig ht.

S oon th ere w ere n o v oic es to b e h eard , o nly g uttu ra l n ois e s th at c o uld hav e been cu rs e s or w ood bre ak in g. Then th e m usic " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" sto pped s o s u dden ly t h at t h e s ile n ce f rig hte n ed V ic to r.

“W hat th e fu ck ’s goin g on?” V ic to r’s fa th er yelle d , his voic e c o m in g q uic k ly a n d w ith fo rc e. It s h ook th e w alls o f th e house .

“A dolp h an d A rn old are fig htin g ag ain ,” V ic to r’s m oth er sa id . A dolp h a n d A rn old w ere h er b ro th ers , V ic to r’s u ncle s. T hey alw ay s f o ught. H ad b een f ig htin g s in ce t h e v ery b eg in nin g.

“W ell, te ll th em to get th eir goddam n asse s out of m y house ,” V ic to r’s fa th er y elle d a g ain , h is d ecib el le v el ris in g to meet t h e t e n sio n i n t h e h ouse .

“T hey a lr e ad y l e ft,” V ic to r’s m oth er s a id . “ T hey ’re f ig htin g out i n t h e y ard .” Vic to r h eard th is a n d ra n to h is w in dow . H e c o uld s e e h is uncle s s lu ggin g e ach o th er w ith s u ch f o rc e t h at t h ey h ad t o b e i n lo ve. S tr a n gers w ould n ev er w an t to h urt e ach o th er th at b ad ly .

But it w as s tr a n gely q uie t, lik e V ic to r w as w atc h in g a te le v is io n sh ow w ith t h e v olu m e t u rn ed a ll t h e w ay d ow n. H e c o uld h ear t h e party u psta ir s m ove to th e w in dow s, s te p o nto th e f ro nt p orc h to watc h t h e b attle .

Durin g o th er h urric an es b ro ad cast o n th e n ew s, V ic to r h ad se en c ra zy p eo ple tie th em se lv es to tr e es o n th e b each . T hose peo ple w an te d t o f e el t h e f o rc e o f t h e h urric an e f ir s th an d, w an te d it to b e lik e a n a m use m en t r id e, b ut th e th in r o pes w ere b ro ken "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" an d th e p eo ple w ere b ro ken . S om etim es th e tr e es th em se lv es were p ulle d fro m th e g ro und a n d b oth th e tr e es a n d th e p eo ple tie d t o t h e t r e es w ere c arrie d a w ay .

Sta n din g a t h is w in dow , w atc h in g h is u ncle s g ro w b lo ody an d t ir e d , V ic to r p ulle d t h e s tr in gs o f h is p aja m a b otto m s t ig hte r.

He sq ueezed h is h an ds in to fis ts an d p re sse d h is fa ce tig htly ag ain st t h e g la ss.

“T hey ’re g oin g to k ill e ach o th er,” s o m eb ody y elle d fro m an u psta ir s w in dow . N obody d is a g re ed an d n obody m oved to ch an ge th e situ atio n. W itn esse s. T hey w ere all w itn esse s an d noth in g m ore . F or h undre d s o f y ears , In dia n s w ere w itn esse s to crim es o f a n e p ic s c ale . V ic to r’s u ncle s w ere in th e m id st o f a mis d em ean or th at w ould re m ain o ne e v en if so m eb ody w as to die . O ne In dia n k illin g a n oth er d id n ot c re ate a s p ecia l k in d o f sto rm . T his little k in d o f h urric an e w as g en eric . It d id n’t e v en dese rv e a n am e.

Adolp h s o on h ad t h e b est o f A rn old , t h ough, a n d w as t r y in g to d ro w n h im in th e s n ow . V ic to r w atc h ed a s h is u ncle h eld h is oth er u ncle d ow n, s a w th e lo ok o f h ate a n d lo ve o n h is u ncle ’s fa ce a n d t h e t e rrif ie d a rm s o f h is o th er u ncle f la ilin g u se le ssly .

Then i t w as o ver.

Adolp h le t A rn old lo ose , e v en p ulle d h im to h is fe et, a n d th ey b oth sto od, fa cin g e ach o th er. T hey sta rte d to y ell a g ain , "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" unin te llig ib le a n d u nin te llig en t. T he v olu m e g re w a s o th er v oic es fro m th e p arty u psta ir s w ere a d ded . V ic to r c o uld a lm ost sm ell th e s w eat a n d w his k ey a n d b lo od.

Every body w as a sse ssin g th e d am ag e, c o nsid erin g o ptio ns.

Would th e fig ht c o ntin ue? W ould it d ecre ase in in te n sity u ntil both uncle s sa t quie tly in opposite co rn ers , ex hau ste d an d ash am ed ? C ould t h e I n dia n H ealth S erv ic e d octo rs f ix t h e b ro ken nose a n d s p ra in ed a n kle s?

But th ere w as o th er p ain . V ic to r k new th at. H e s to od a t h is win dow a n d t o uch ed h is o w n b ody. H is l e g s a n d b ack h urt f ro m a day o f s le d din g, h is h ead w as a l ittle s o re f ro m w here h e b um ped in to a d oor e arlie r i n t h e w eek . O ne m ola r a ch ed f ro m c av ity ; h is ch est t h ro bbed w ith a b se n ce.

Vic to r h ad s e en th e n ew s fo ota g e o f c itie s a fte r h urric an es had p asse d b y. H ouse s w ere fla tte n ed , th eir c o nte n ts th ro w n in ev ery d ir e ctio n. M em orie s n ot d estr o yed , b ut fo re v er ch an ged an d dam ag ed . W hic h is w ors e ? Vic to r w an te d to know if mem orie s o f h is p ers o nal h urric an es w ould b e b ette r if h e c o uld ch an ge t h em . O r i f h e j u st f o rg ot a b out a ll o f i t. V ic to r h ad o nce se en a p hoto gra p h o f a c ar th at a h urric an e h ad p ic k ed u p a n d carrie d fo r fiv e m ile s befo re it fe ll onto a house . Vic to r re m em bere d e v ery th in g e x actly t h at w ay .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" On C hris tm as Eve w hen he w as fiv e, V ic to r’s fa th er w ep t becau se h e d id n’t h av e a n y m oney f o r g if ts . O h, t h ere w as a t r e e tr im med w ith o rn am en ts , a f e w b ulb s f ro m t h e T ra d in g P ost, o ne str in g of lig hts , an d photo gra p hs of th e fa m ily w ith hole s punch ed th ro ugh th e to p, th re ad ed w ith d en ta l flo ss, a n d h ung fro m t in y b ra n ch es. B ut t h ere w ere n o g if ts . N ot o ne.

“B ut w e’v e g ot e ach o th er,” V ic to r’s m oth er s a id , b ut s h e knew it w as ju st d ry r e cita tio n o f th e o ld C hris tm as m ovie s th ey watc h ed o n te le v is io n. It w asn ’t re al. V ic to r w atc h ed h is fa th er cry h uge, g asp in g t e ars . I n dia n t e ars .

Vic to r im ag in ed th at h is fa th er’s te ars co uld h av e fro zen so lid in th e s e v ere re se rv atio n w in te rs a n d s h atte re d w hen th ey hit th e flo or. S en t m illio ns o f ic y k niv es th ro ugh th e a ir, e ach sp ecif ic a n d b eau tif u l. E ach d an gero us a n d r a n dom .

Vic to r im ag in ed th at he held an em pty box ben eath his fa th er’s e y es a n d c o lle cte d th e te ars , h eld th at b ox u ntil it w as fu ll. V ic to r w ould w ra p it in S unday c o m ic s a n d g iv e it to h is moth er.

Ju st t h e w eek b efo re , V ic to r h ad s to od i n t h e s h ad ow s o f h is fa th er’s d oorw ay a n d w atc h ed a s th e m an o pen ed h is w alle t a n d sh ook h is h ead . E m pty . V ic to r w atc h ed h is f a th er p ut th e e m pty walle t b ack i n h is p ock et f o r a m om en t, t h en p ull i t o ut a n d o pen it ag ain . Still em pty . V ic to r w atc h ed his fa th er re p eat th is "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" cere m ony ag ain an d ag ain , as if th e re p etitio n its e lf co uld guara n te e c h an ge. B ut i t w as a lw ay s e m pty .

Durin g all th ese kin ds of tin y sto rm s, V ic to r’s m oth er would ris e w ith h er m ed ic in e an d m ag ic . S he w ould p ull air dow n fro m em pty cu pboard s an d m ak e fry b re ad . S he w ould sh ak e th ic k b la n kets fre e fro m o ld b an dan as. S he w ould c o m b Vic to r’s b ra id s i n to d re am s.

In th ose d re am s, V ic to r a n d h is p are n ts w ould b e s ittin g in Moth er’s K itc h en re sta u ra n t in S pokan e, w aitin g o ut a sto rm .

Rain an d lig htn in g. U nem plo ym en t an d poverty . C om modity fo od. F la sh f lo ods.

“S oup,” V ic to r’s f a th er w ould a lw ay s s a y. “ I w an t a b ow l o f so up.” Moth er’s K itc h en w as a lw ay s w arm in th ose d re am s. T here was a lw ay s a g ood s o ng o n t h e j u keb ox, a s o ng t h at V ic to r d id n’t re ally k now b ut h e k new i t w as g ood. A nd h e k new i t w as a s o ng fro m h is p are n ts ’ y outh . I n t h ose d re am s, a ll w as g ood.

Som etim es, th ough, th e dre am becam e a nig htm are an d Moth er’s K itc h en w as out of so up, th e ju keb ox only pla y ed co untr y m usic , an d th e ro of le ak ed . R ain fe ll lik e d ru m s in to buck ets a n d p ots a n d p an s s e t o ut to c atc h w hate v er th ey c o uld .

In th ose n ig htm are s, V ic to r s a t in h is c h air a s r a in f e ll, d ro p b y dro p, o nto h is h ead .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" In th ose nig htm are s, V ic to r fe lt his sto m ach ach e w ith hunger. In fa ct, h e fe lt h is w hole in te rio r sw ay, n early b uck le , th en fa ll. G ra v ity . N oth in g fo r d in ner ex cep t sle ep . G ale an d unste ad y b aro m ete r.

In o th er n ig htm are s, i n h is e v ery day r e ality , V ic to r w atc h ed his f a th er t a k e a d rin k o f v odka o n a c o m ple te ly e m pty s to m ach .

Vic to r c o uld h ear t h at n ear- p ois o n f a ll, t h en h it, f le sh a n d b lo od, nerv e a n d v ein . M ay be it w as lik e lig htn in g te arin g a n o ld tr e e in to h alv es. M ay be it w as lik e a w all o f w ate r, a re se rv atio n ts u nam i, cra sh in g onto a sm all beach . M ay be it w as lik e Hir o sh im a o r N ag asa k i. M ay be it w as lik e a ll th at. M ay be. B ut afte r h e d ra n k, V ic to r’s fa th er w ould b re ath e in d eep a n d c lo se his e y es, s tr e tc h , a n d s tr a ig hte n h is n eck a n d b ack . D urin g th ose lo ng d rin ks, V ic to r’s f a th er w asn ’t s h ap ed lik e a q uestio n m ark .

He l o oked m ore l ik e a n e x cla m atio n p oin t.

Som e p eo ple lik ed th e r a in . B ut V ic to r h ate d it. R eally h ate d it.

The d am p. H um id ity . L ow c lo uds a n d l ie s. W eath erm en . W hen i t was r a in in g, V ic to r w ould a p olo giz e t o e v ery one h e t a lk ed t o .

“S orry a b out t h e w eath er,” h e w ould s a y .

Once, V ic to r’s c o usin s m ad e h im c lim b a ta ll tr e e d urin g a ra in sto rm . T he b ark w as s lic k , n early im possib le to h old o n to , but V ic to r k ep t c lim bin g. T he b ra n ch es k ep t m ost o f t h e r a in o ff "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" him , b ut th ere w ere a lw ay s s u dden fu nnels o f w ate r th at b ro ke th ro ugh, sta rtlin g e n ough to n early m ak e V ic to r lo se h is g rip .

Sudden r a in l ik e p ro m is e s, l ik e t r e atie s. B ut V ic to r h eld o n.

There w as s o m uch th at V ic to r f e are d , s o m uch h is in te n se im ag in atio n c re ate d . F or y ears , V ic to r fe are d th at h e w as g oin g to d ro w n w hile it w as ra in in g, so th at e v en w hen h e th ra sh ed th ro ugh t h e l a k e a n d o pen ed h is m outh t o s c re am , h e w ould t a ste ev en m ore w ate r fa llin g fro m th e sk y. S om etim es h e w as su re th at h e w ould f a ll f ro m t h e t o p o f t h e s lid e o r f ro m a s w in g a n d a whir lp ool w ould su dden ly ap pear b en eath h im an d carry h im dow n i n to t h e e arth , d ro w n h im a t t h e c o re .

And o f c o urs e , V ic to r d re am ed o f w his k ey, v odka, te q uila , th ose f lu id s s w allo w in g h im j u st a s e asily a s h e s w allo w ed t h em .

When h e w as f iv e y ears o ld , a n o ld I n dia n m an d ro w ned i n a m ud puddle a t t h e p ow wow . J u st p asse d o ut a n d f e ll f a ced ow n i n to t h e wate r c o lle cte d in a tir e tr a ck . E ven a t fiv e, V ic to r u nders to od what t h at m ean t, h ow i t d efin ed n early e v ery th in g. F ro nts . H ig hs an d l o w s. T herm als a n d u nderc u rre n ts . T ra g ed y.

When t h e h urric an e d esc en ded o n t h e r e se rv atio n i n 1 976, V ic to r was th ere to re co rd it. If th e v id eo c am era h ad b een a v aila b le th en , V ic to r m ig ht h av e film ed it, b ut h is m em ory w as m uch more d ep en dab le .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" His uncle s, A rn old an d A dolp h, gav e up th e fig ht an d walk ed b ack i n to t h e h ouse , i n to t h e N ew Y ear’s E ve p arty , a rm s lin ked , f o rg iv in g e ach o th er. B ut th e s to rm th at h ad c au se d th eir mom en ta ry a n ger h ad n ot d ie d . I n ste ad , it m oved f ro m I n dia n to In dia n a t t h e p arty , g iv in g e ach a s p ecif ic , p ain fu l m em ory .

Vic to r’s f a th er r e m em bere d t h e t im e h is o w n f a th er w as s p it on a s t h ey w aite d f o r a b us i n S pokan e.

Vic to r’s m oth er r e m em bere d h ow t h e I n dia n H ealth S erv ic e docto r s te riliz ed h er m om en ts a fte r V ic to r w as b orn .

Adolp h a n d A rn old w ere to uch ed b y m em orie s o f p re v io us battle s, sto rm s th at co ntin ually hau nte d th eir liv es. W hen ch ild re n g ro w u p to geth er in p overty , a b ond is fo rm ed th at is str o nger th an m ost a n yth in g. It’s th is s a m e b ond th at c au se s s o much pain . A dolp h an d A rn old re m in ded each oth er of th eir ch ild hood, h ow t h ey h id c ra ck ers i n t h eir s h are d b ed ro om s o t h ey would h av e s o m eth in g t o e at.

“D id y ou h id e th e c ra ck ers ? ” A dolp h a sk ed h is b ro th er s o man y t im es t h at h e s till w his p ere d t h at q uestio n i n h is s le ep .

Oth er I n dia n s a t th e p arty r e m em bere d th eir o w n p ain . T his pain gre w , ex pan ded . O ne pers o n lo st her te m per w hen sh e accid en ta lly b ru sh ed th e sk in o f a n oth er. T he fo re cast w as n ot good. In dia n s co ntin ued to drin k, hard er an d hard er, as if an tic ip atin g. T here ’s a fif ty p erc en t ch an ce o f to rre n tia l ra in , "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" bliz zard lik e co nditio ns, se is m ic activ ity . T hen th ere ’s a six ty perc en t c h an ce, t h en s e v en ty , e ig hty .

Vic to r w as b ack i n h is b ed , l y in g f la t a n d s till, w atc h in g t h e ceilin g l o w er w ith e ach s te p a b ove. T he c eilin g l o w ere d w ith t h e weig ht of each In dia n ’s pain , until it w as ju st in ch es fro m Vic to r’s n ose . H e w an te d t o s c re am , w an te d t o p re te n d i t w as j u st a n ig htm are o r a g am e i n ven te d b y h is p are n ts t o h elp h im s le ep .

The v oic es u psta ir s c o ntin ued to g ro w , ta k e s h ap e a n d fill sp ace u ntil V ic to r’s r o om , t h e e n tir e h ouse , w as c o nsu m ed b y t h e party . U ntil V ic to r c ra w le d fro m h is b ed a n d w en t to fin d h is pare n ts .

“Y a-h ey, little n ep hew ,” A dolp h s a id a s V ic to r s to od a lo ne in a c o rn er.

“H ello , U ncle ,” V ic to r s a id a n d g av e A dolp h a h ug, g ag ged at h is s m ell. A lc o hol a n d s w eat. C ig are tte s a n d f a ilu re .

“W here ’s m y d ad ?” V ic to r a sk ed .

“O ver t h ere ,” A dolp h s a id a n d w av ed h is a rm i n t h e g en era l dir e ctio n o f th e k itc h en . T he h ouse w as n ot v ery la rg e, b ut th ere were so m an y p eo ple a n d so m uch e m otio n fillin g th e sp aces betw een peo ple th at it w as lik e a m aze fo r little V ic to r. N o matte r w hic h w ay h e tu rn ed , h e co uld n ot fin d h is fa th er o r moth er.

“W here a re t h ey ?” h e a sk ed h is a u nt N ezzy .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “W ho?” s h e a sk ed .

“M om a n d D ad ,” V ic to r s a id , a n d N ezzy p oin te d t o w ard t h e bed ro om . V ic to r m ad e his w ay th ro ugh th e cro w d, hate d his te ars . H e d id n’t h ate th e fe ar an d p ain th at cau se d th em . H e ex pecte d th at. W hat h e h ate d w as th e w ay th ey fe lt a g ain st h is ch eek s, h is c h in , h is s k in a s th ey m ad e th eir w ay d ow n h is f a ce.

Vic to r c rie d u ntil h e f o und h is p are n ts , a lo ne, p asse d o ut o n t h eir bed i n t h e b ack b ed ro om .

Vic to r c lim bed u p o n th e b ed a n d la y d ow n b etw een th em .

His m oth er a n d fa th er b re ath ed d eep , n early c h okin g a lc o holic sn ore s. T hey w ere sw eatin g alth ough th e ro om w as co ld , an d Vic to r th ought th e a lc o hol s e ep in g th ro ugh th eir s k in m ig ht g et him d ru nk, m ig ht h elp h im s le ep . H e k is se d h is m oth er’s n eck , ta ste d t h e s a lt a n d w his k ey . H e k is se d h is f a th er’s f o re arm , t a ste d th e c h eap b eer a n d s m oke.

Vic to r c lo se d h is e y es tig htly . H e sa id h is p ra y ers ju st in case h is p are n ts h ad b een w ro ng a b out G od a ll th ose y ears . H e lis te n ed fo r h ours to e v ery little h urric an e s p un fro m th e la rg er hurric an e t h at b atte re d t h e r e se rv atio n.

Durin g th at n ig ht, h is a u nt N ezzy b ro ke h er a rm w hen a n unid en tif ie d In dia n w om an p ush ed h er d ow n th e s ta ir s . E ugen e Boyd b ro ke a d oor p la y in g in door b ask etb all. L este r F alls A part passe d o ut o n to p o f th e s to ve a n d s o m eb ody tu rn ed th e b urn ers "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" on h ig h. J a m es M an y H ors e s s a t in th e c o rn er a n d to ld s o m an y bad jo kes th at th re e o r f o ur I n dia n s th re w h im o ut th e d oor in to th e s n ow .

“H ow d o y ou g et o ne h undre d In dia n s to y ell Oh , sh it? ” Ja m es M an y H ors e s a sk ed a s h e s a t i n a d rif t o n t h e f ro nt l a w n.

“S ay Bin go,” Ja m es M an y H ors e s a n sw ere d h im se lf w hen nobody f ro m t h e p arty w ould .

Ja m es d id n’t s p en d v ery m uch t im e a lo ne i n t h e s n ow . S oon Sey m our a n d L este r w ere th ere , to o. S ey m our w as th ro w n o ut becau se h e k ep t f lir tin g w ith a ll th e w om en . L este r w as th ere to co ol o ff h is b urn s. S oon e v ery body f ro m t h e p arty w as o ut o n t h e la w n, d an cin g in th e s n ow , fu ck in g in th e s n ow , fig htin g in th e sn ow .

Vic to r la y b etw een h is p are n ts , h is a lc o holic a n d d re am le ss pare n ts , h is m oth er a n d f a th er. V ic to r l ic k ed h is i n dex f in ger a n d ra is e d it in to th e a ir to te st th e w in d. V elo city . D ir e ctio n. S le ep ap pro ach in g. T he p eo ple o uts id e s e em ed s o f a r a w ay, s o s tr a n ge an d im ag in ary . There w as a dow nsh if t of em otio n, te n sio n se em ed to w an e. V ic to r p ut o ne h an d o n h is m oth er’s s to m ach an d p la ced t h e o th er o n h is f a th er’s . T here w as e n ough h unger i n both , e n ough m ovem en t, e n ough g eo gra p hy a n d h is to ry , e n ough of e v ery th in g to d estr o y th e re se rv atio n a n d le av e o nly ra n dom deb ris a n d b ro ken f u rn itu re .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" But it w as o ver. V ic to r c lo se d h is e y es, fe ll a sle ep . It w as over. T he h urric an e th at fe ll o ut o f th e s k y in 1 976 le ft b efo re su nris e , an d all th e In dia n s, th e ete rn al su rv iv ors , g ath ere d to co unt t h eir l o sse s.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" A D RUG C ALLED TR ADIT IO N “ G ODDAM N I T , T H OM AS,” J U NIO R y elle d . “ H ow c o m e y our f rid ge i s a lw ay s f u ck in g e m pty ?” Thom as w alk ed o ver to th e re frig era to r, s a w it w as e m pty , a n d t h en s a t d ow n i n sid e.

“T here ,” T hom as s a id . “ It a in ’t e m pty n o m ore .” Every body in th e k itc h en la u ghed th eir a sse s o ff . I t w as th e s e co nd-la rg est p arty in re se rv atio n h is to ry a n d T hom as B uild s- t h e-F ir e w as th e h ost. H e w as th e h ost b ecau se h e w as th e o ne b uyin g a ll th e b eer. A nd h e w as b uyin g a ll th e b eer b ecau se h e h ad j u st g ot a t o n o f m oney f ro m W ash in gto n W ate r P ow er. A nd h e ju st got a to n of m oney fro m W ash in gto n W ate r Pow er b ecau se th ey h ad to p ay fo r th e le ase to h av e te n p ow er p ole s r u nnin g a cro ss s o m e l a n d t h at T hom as h ad i n herite d .

When In dia n s m ak e lo ts o f m oney fro m c o rp ora tio ns th at w ay, w e c an a ll h ear o ur a n cesto rs la u ghin g in th e tr e es. B ut w e n ev er can te ll w heth er th ey ’re la u ghin g at th e In dia n s o r th e w hite s. I t h in k t h ey ’re l a u ghin g a t p re tty m uch e v ery body.

“H ey, V ic to r,” Ju nio r sa id . “I hear you got so m e m ag ic m ush ro om s.” " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" “N o w ay,” I sa id . “Ju st G re en G ia n t m ush ro om s. I’m mak in g s a la d l a te r.” But I d id h av e th is b ra n d n ew d ru g an d h ad p la n ned o n in vitin g J u nio r a lo ng. M ay be a c o uple I n dia n p rin cesse s, t o o. B ut only if th ey w ere fu ll- b lo od. W ell, m ay be if th ey w ere a t le ast half -S pokan e.

“L is te n ,” I w his p ere d to J u nio r to k eep it s e cre t. “ I’v e g ot so m e g ood s tu ff , a n ew d ru g, b ut j u st e n ough f o r m e a n d y ou a n d may be a c o uple o th ers . K eep i t u nder y our w arb onnet.” “C ool,” Ju nio r sa id . “I’v e g ot m y n ew car o uts id e. L et’s go.” We d itc h ed th e p arty , d ecid ed to sa v e th e n ew d ru g fo r ours e lv es, an d ju m ped in to Ju nio r’s C am aro . T he en gin e w as co m ple te ly sh ot but th e ex te rio r w as good. Y ou se e, th e car lo oked m ean . M ostly w e ju st p ark ed it in fro nt o f th e T ra d in g Post a n d t r ie d t o l o ok l ik e h ors e p ow ere d w arrio rs . D riv in g i t w as a w hole o th er m atte r, t h ough. I t b elc h ed a n d f a rte d i ts w ay d ow n th e r o ad l ik e a n o ld m an . T hat d efin ite ly w asn ’t c o ol.

“W here d o y ou w an t t o g o?” J u nio r a sk ed .

“B en ja m in L ak e,” I s a id , a n d w e to ok o ff in a c lo ud o f o il an d e x hau st. W e d ro ve d ow n th e ro ad a little to w ard B en ja m in Lak e w hen w e s a w T hom as B uild s-th e-F ir e s ta n din g b y th e s id e of t h e r o ad . J u nio r s to pped t h e c ar a n d I l e an ed o ut t h e w in dow .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “H ey, T hom as,” I ask ed . “S hould n’t y ou b e at y our o w n party ?” “Y ou g uys k now i t a in ’t m y p arty a n yw ay,” T hom as s a id . “ I ju st p aid f o r i t.” We l a u ghed . I l o oked a t J u nio r a n d h e n odded h is h ead .

“H ey,” I sa id . “Ju m p in w ith us. W e’re goin g out to Ben ja m in L ak e to d o th is n ew d ru g I g ot. It’ ll b e v ery fu ck in g In dia n . S pir itu al s h it, y ou k now ?” Thom as c lim bed in b ack a n d w as ju st a b out re ad y to te ll an oth er o ne o f h is g oddam n s to rie s w hen I s to pped h im .

“N ow , lis te n ,” I sa id . “ Y ou c an o nly c o m e w ith u s if y ou don’t t e ll a n y o f y our s to rie s u ntil a fte r y ou’v e t a k en t h e d ru g.” Thom as t h ought t h at o ver a w hile . H e n odded h is h ead i n t h e aff ir m ativ e a n d w e d ro ve o n. H e l o oked s o h ap py t o b e s p en din g th e t im e w ith u s t h at I g av e h im t h e n ew d ru g.

“E at u p, T hom as,” I s a id . “ T he p arty ’s o n m e n ow .” Thom as d ow ned i t a n d s m ile d .

“T ell u s w hat y ou s e e, M r. B uild s-th e-F ir e ,” J u nio r s a id .

Thom as lo oked a ro und th e c ar. H ell, h e lo oked a ro und o ur world a n d t h en p oked h is h ead t h ro ugh s o m e h ole i n t h e w all i n to an oth er w orld . A b ette r w orld .

“V ic to r,” Thom as sa id . “I can se e you. God, you’re beau tif u l. Y ou’v e g ot b ra id s a n d y ou’re s te alin g a h ors e . W ait, "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" no. I t’ s n ot a h ors e . I t’ s a c o w .” Ju nio r a lm ost w re ck ed b ecau se h e l a u ghed s o h ard .

“W hy t h e f u ck w ould I b e s te alin g a c o w ?” I a sk ed .

“I’m j u st g iv in g y ou s h it,” T hom as s a id . “ N o, r e ally , y ou’re ste alin g a hors e an d you’re rid in g by m oonlig ht. V an G ogh sh ould ’v e p ain te d th is o ne, V ic to r. V an G ogh s h ould ’v e p ain te d you.” It w as a c o ld , c o ld n ig ht . I h ad c ra w le d th ro ugh th e b ru sh fo r hours , m oved by in ch es so th e O th ers w ould not hear m e. I wan te d o ne o f t h eir p onie s. I n eed ed o ne o f t h eir p onie s. I n eed ed to b e a h ero a n d e arn m y n am e.

I c ra w l c lo se e n ough t o t h eir c am p t o h ear v oic es, t o h ear a n old m an su ck in g th e la st b it o f m eat o ff a b one. I c an se e th e pony I w an t. H e is b la ck , tw en ty h an ds h ig h. I can fe el h im sh iv er b ecau se h e k now s I h av e c o m e fo r h im in th e m id dle o f th is c o ld n ig ht.

Cra w lin g m ore q uic k ly n ow , I m ak e m y w ay to th e c o rra l, rig ht b etw een t h e l e g s o f a y oung b oy a sle ep o n h is f e et. H e w as su ppose d to k eep w atc h f o r m en lik e m e. I b are ly to uch h is b are le g a n d h e s w ip es a t it, th in kin g it is a m osq uito . I f I s to od a n d kis se d th e y oung b oy f u ll o n th e m outh , h e w ould o nly th in k h e was d re am in g o f t h e g ir l w ho s m ile d a t h im e arlie r i n t h e d ay .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" When I fin ally c o m e c lo se to th e b eau tif u l b la ck p ony, I sta n d u p s tr a ig ht a n d t o uch h is n ose , h is m an e.

I h ave c o m e fo r y o u , I te ll th e h ors e , a n d h e m oves a g ain st me, k now s it is tr u e. I m ount h im a n d rid e s ile n tly th ro ugh th e cam p, rig ht in fro nt o f a b lin d m an w ho s m ells u s p ass b y a n d th in ks w e a re j u st a p le asa n t m em ory . W hen h e f in ds o ut t h e n ex t day w ho w e r e ally w ere , h e w ill r e m ain h au nte d a n d c ro w ded t h e re st o f h is l if e .

I a m rid in g th at p ony a cro ss th e o pen p la in , in m oonlig ht th at m ak es e v ery th in g a s h ad ow .

What’s y o ur n am e?

I a sk t h e h ors e , a n d h e r e ars b ack o n h is hin d le g s. H e p ulls a ir d eep in to h is lu ngs a n d ris e s a b ove th e gro und.

Flig ht , h e t e lls m e, my n am e i s F lig ht .

“T hat’ s w hat I s e e,” T hom as s a id . “ I s e e y ou o n t h at h ors e .” Ju nio r lo oked a t T hom as in th e re arv ie w m ir ro r, lo oked a t me, l o oked a t t h e r o ad i n f ro nt o f h im .

“V ic to r,” J u nio r s a id . “ G iv e m e s o m e o f t h at s tu ff.” “B ut y ou’re d riv in g,” I s a id .

“T hat’ ll m ak e it e v en b ette r,” h e sa id , a n d I h ad to a g re e with h im .

“T ell u s w hat y ou s e e,” T hom as s a id a n d l e an ed f o rw ard .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “N oth in g y et,” J u nio r s a id .

“A m I s till o n t h at h ors e ?” I a sk ed T hom as.

“O h, y eah .” We c am e u p o n th e tu rn off to B en ja m in L ak e, a n d J u nio r mad e i t i n to a s c re am in g c o rn er. J u st a n oth er I n dia n b oy e n gag ed in s o m e r o ugh p la y .

“O h, s h it,” J u nio r s a id . “ I c an s e e T hom as d an cin g.” “I d on’t d an ce,” T hom as s a id .

“Y ou’re dan cin g an d you ain ’t w earin g noth in g. Y ou’re dan cin g n ak ed a ro und a f ir e .” “N o, I ’m n ot.” “S hit, y ou’re n ot. I c an se e y ou, y ou’re ta ll a n d d ark a n d fu ck in g h uge, c o usin .” They’re a ll g one, m y tr ib e is g one . T hose b la n kets th ey g av e u s, in fe cte d w ith s m allp ox, h av e k ille d u s. I ’m t h e l a st, t h e v ery l a st, an d I ’m s ic k , t o o. S o v ery s ic k . H ot. M y f e v er b urn in g s o h ot.

I h av e to ta k e o ff m y c lo th es, fe el th e c o ld a ir, s p la sh th e wate r a cro ss m y b are s k in . A nd d an ce. I ’ll d an ce a G host D an ce.

I’ll b rin g th em b ack . C an y ou h ear th e d ru m s? I c an h ear th em , an d it’s m y g ra n dfa th er a n d m y g ra n dm oth er s in gin g. C an y ou hear t h em ?

I d an ce o ne s te p a n d m y s is te r ris e s fro m th e a sh . I d an ce "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" an oth er a n d a b uff a lo c ra sh es d ow n f ro m t h e s k y o nto a l o g c ab in in N eb ra sk a. W ith e v ery s te p , a n I n dia n r is e s. W ith e v ery o th er ste p , a b uffa lo f a lls .

I’m gro w in g, to o. M y blis te rs heal, m y m usc le s str e tc h , ex pan d. M y tr ib e d an ces b eh in d m e. A t fir s t th ey a re n o b ig ger th an c h ild re n . T hen th ey b eg in to g ro w , la rg er th an m e, la rg er th an th e tr e es a ro und u s. T he b uff a lo c o m e to jo in u s a n d th eir hooves sh ak e th e e arth , k nock a ll th e w hite p eo ple fro m th eir bed s, s e n d t h eir p la te s c ra sh in g t o t h e f lo or.

We d an ce in c ir c le s g ro w in g la rg er a n d la rg er u ntil w e a re sta n din g o n t h e s h ore , w atc h in g a ll t h e s h ip s r e tu rn in g t o E uro pe.

All th e w hite h an ds are w av in g g ood-b ye an d w e co ntin ue to dan ce, d an ce u ntil th e s h ip s f a ll o ff th e h oriz o n, d an ce u ntil w e are so ta ll a n d str o ng th at th e su n is n early je alo us. We d ance th at w ay .

“Ju nio r,” I y elle d . “ S lo w d ow n, s lo w d ow n.” J u nio r h ad th e c ar sp in nin g i n c ir c le s, d oin g d onuts a cro ss e m pty f ie ld s, c o m in g t o o clo se t o f e n ces a n d l o nely t r e es.

“T hom as,” J u nio r y elle d . “ Y ou’re d an cin g, d an cin g h ard .” I l e an ed o ver a n d s la m med o n t h e b ra k es. J u nio r j u m ped o ut of th e car an d ra n acro ss th e fie ld . I tu rn ed th e car o ff an d fo llo w ed h im . W e’d g otte n a b out a m ile d ow n th e ro ad to w ard "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Ben ja m in L ak e w hen T hom as c am e d riv in g b y.

“S to p t h e c ar,” I y elle d , a n d T hom as d id j u st t h at.

“W here w ere y ou g oin g?” I a sk ed h im .

“I w as c h asin g y ou a n d y our h ors e , c o usin .” “Je su s, th is s h it is p ow erfu l,” I s a id a n d s w allo w ed s o m e.

In sta n tly I s a w a n d h eard J u nio r s in gin g. H e s to od o n a s ta g e i n a rib bon s h ir t a n d b lu e j e an s. S in gin g. W ith a g uita r.

In dia ns m ake th e b est c o w boys . I can te ll y ou th at. I’v e b een sin gin g at th e P la n ta tio n sin ce I w as te n y ears o ld an d h av e alw ay s d ra w n b ig c ro w ds. A ll th e w hite fo lk s c o m e to h ear m y so ngs, m y little p ie ces o f I n dia n w is d om , a lth ough th ey h av e to sit in th e b ack o f th e th eate r b ecau se a ll th e I n dia n s g et th e b est tic k ets f o r m y s h ow s. I t’s n ot r a cis m . T he I n dia n s ju st c am p o ut all n ig ht to b uy tic k ets . E ven th e P re sid en t o f th e U nite d S ta te s, Mr. E dgar C ra zy H ors e h im se lf , c am e to h ear m e o nce. I p la y ed a so ng I w ro te fo r his gre at- g ra n dfa th er, th e fa m ous L ak ota warrio r w ho h elp ed u s w in t h e w ar a g ain st t h e w hite s:

Cra zy H orse , w hat h ave y o u d one?

Cra zy H orse , w hat h ave y o u d one?

It t o ok f o ur h undre d y ea rs and f o ur h undre d t h ousa nd g uns but t h e I n dia ns f in ally w on.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Ya-h ey, t h e I n dia ns f in ally w on.

Cra zy H orse , are y o u s till s in gin g?

Cra zy H orse , are y o u s till s in gin g?

I h onor y o ur o ld s o ngs and a ll t h ey k eep o n b rin gin g beca use t h e I n dia ns k eep w in nin g.

Ya-h ey , th e I n dia ns k eep w in nin g.

Belie v e m e, I’m th e b est g uita r p la y er w ho ev er liv ed . I can mak e m y g uita r s o und lik e a d ru m . M ore th an th at, I c an m ak e an y d ru m s o und lik e a g uita r. I c an ta k e a s in gle h air fro m th e bra id s o f a n In dia n w om an a n d m ak e it so und lik e a p ro m is e co m e t r u e. Lik e a t h ousa nd p ro m is e s c o m e t r u e .

“Ju nio r,” I a sk ed . “ W here ’d y ou l e arn t o s in g?” “I d on’t k now h ow t o s in g,” h e s a id .

We m ad e o ur w ay d ow n th e ro ad to B en ja m in L ak e an d sto od b y th e w ate r. T hom as s a t o n th e d ock w ith h is f e et in th e wate r a n d l a u ghed s o ftly . J u nio r s a t o n t h e h ood o f h is c ar, a n d I dan ced a ro und t h em b oth .

Afte r a little b it, I tir e d o ut a n d s a t o n th e h ood o f th e c ar with J u nio r. T he d ru g w as b eg in nin g to w ear o ff . A ll I c o uld s e e in m y v is io n o f J u nio r w as h is g uita r. J u nio r p ulle d o ut a c an o f "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" warm D ie t P ep si a n d w e p asse d it b ack a n d fo rth a n d w atc h ed Thom as t a lk in g t o h im se lf .

“H e’s t e llin g h im se lf s to rie s,” J u nio r s a id .

“W ell,” I s a id . “ A in ’t n obody e ls e g oin g t o l is te n .” “W hy’s he lik e th at? ” Ju nio r ask ed . “W hy’s he alw ay s ta lk in g a b out s tr a n ge s h it? H ell, h e d on’t e v en n eed d ru gs.” “S om e p eo ple s a y h e g ot d ro pped o n h is h ead w hen h e w as little . S om e o f t h e o ld p eo ple t h in k h e’s m ag ic .” “W hat d o y ou t h in k?” “I t h in k h e g ot d ro pped o n h is h ead a n d I t h in k h e’s m ag ic .” We la u ghed , a n d T hom as lo oked u p fro m th e w ate r, fro m his s to rie s, a n d s m ile d a t u s.

“H ey ,” h e s a id . “ Y ou t w o w an t t o h ear a s to ry ?” Ju nio r a n d I lo oked a t e ach o th er, lo oked b ack a t T hom as, an d d ecid ed th at it w ould b e a ll rig ht. T hom as c lo se d h is e y es an d t o ld h is s to ry .

It is n ow . T hre e I n dia n b oys a re d rin kin g D ie t P ep si a n d ta lk in g out b y B en ja m in L ak e. T hey are w earin g o nly lo in clo th s an d bra id s. A lth ough it is th e tw en tie th cen tu ry an d pla n es are passin g o verh ead , t h e I n dia n b oys h av e d ecid ed t o b e r e al I n dia n s to nig ht.

They all w an t to h av e th eir v is io n, to re ceiv e th eir tr u e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" nam es, t h eir a d ult n am es. T hat i s t h e p ro ble m w ith I n dia n s t h ese day s. T hey h av e th e sa m e n am es all th eir liv es. In dia n s w ear th eir n am es l ik e a p air o f b ad s h oes.

So th ey d ecid ed to b uild a fir e a n d b re ath e in th at sw eet sm oke. T hey h av e n ot e ate n f o r d ay s s o th ey k now th eir v is io ns sh ould a rriv e s o on. M ay be th ey ’ll s e e it in th e fla m es o r in th e wood. M ay be th e s m oke w ill ta lk in S pokan e o r E nglis h . M ay be th e c in ders a n d a sh w ill r is e u p.

The b oys sit b y th e fir e a n d b re ath e, th eir v is io ns a rriv e.

They a re a ll c arrie d a w ay to th e p ast, to th e m om en t b efo re a n y of t h em t o ok t h eir f ir s t d rin k o f a lc o hol.

The boy T hom as th ro w s th e beer he is off e re d in to th e garb ag e. T he b oy J u nio r th ro w s h is w his k ey th ro ugh a w in dow .

The b oy V ic to r s p ills h is v odka d ow n t h e d ra in .

Then th e b oys sin g. T hey sin g a n d d an ce a n d d ru m . T hey ste al h ors e s. I c an s e e t h em . They s te a l h orse s .

“Y ou d on’t r e ally b elie v e t h at s h it? ” I a sk ed T hom as.

“D on’t n eed t o b elie v e a n yth in g. I t j u st i s .” Thom as s to od u p a n d w alk ed a w ay. H e w ould n’t e v en t r y t o te ll u s a n y s to rie s a g ain f o r a f e w y ears . W e h ad n ev er b een v ery good to h im , e v en a s b oys, b ut h e h ad a lw ay s b een k in d to u s.

When h e s to pped e v en lo okin g a t m e, I w as h urt. H ow d o y ou "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" ex pla in t h at?

Befo re h e l e ft f o r g ood, t h ough, h e t u rn ed b ack t o J u nio r a n d me a n d y elle d a t u s. I c o uld n’t re ally u nders ta n d w hat h e w as sa y in g, b ut J u nio r s w ore h e to ld u s n ot to s lo w d an ce w ith o ur sk ele to ns.

“W hat t h e h ell d oes t h at m ean ?” I a sk ed .

“I d on’t k now ,” J u nio r s a id .

There are th in gs yo u sh ould le a rn . Y our past is a sk ele to n walk in g one ste p beh in d you, an d your fu tu re is a sk ele to n walk in g o ne s te p i n f ro nt o f y ou. M ay be y ou d on’t w ear a w atc h , but y our sk ele to ns d o, a n d th ey a lw ay s k now w hat tim e it is .

Now , t h ese s k ele to ns a re m ad e o f m em orie s, d re am s, a n d v oic es.

And th ey c an tr a p y ou in th e in -b etw een , b etw een to uch in g a n d beco m in g. B ut th ey ’re n ot n ecessa rily e v il, u nle ss y ou le t th em be.

What y ou h av e to d o is k eep m ovin g, k eep w alk in g, in s te p with y our s k ele to ns. T hey a in ’t e v er g oin g to le av e y ou, s o y ou don’t h av e to w orry ab out th at. Y our p ast ain ’t g oin g to fa ll beh in d, an d y our fu tu re w on’t g et to o fa r ah ead . S om etim es, th ough, y our s k ele to ns w ill ta lk to y ou, te ll y ou to s it d ow n a n d ta k e a re st, b re ath e a little . M ay be th ey ’ll m ak e y ou p ro m is e s, te ll y ou a ll t h e t h in gs y ou w an t t o h ear.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Som etim es y our s k ele to ns w ill d re ss u p a s b eau tif u l I n dia n wom en a n d a sk y ou to slo w d an ce. S om etim es y our sk ele to ns will d re ss u p a s y our b est f rie n d a n d o ff e r y ou a d rin k, o ne m ore fo r th e ro ad . S om etim es y our sk ele to ns w ill lo ok e x actly lik e your p are n ts a n d o ffe r y ou g if ts .

But, n o m atte r w hat th ey d o, k eep w alk in g, k eep m ovin g.

And d on’t w ear a w atc h . H ell, In dia n s n ev er n eed to w ear a watc h b ecau se y our s k ele to ns w ill a lw ay s r e m in d y ou a b out th e tim e. S ee, i t i s a lw ay s n ow . T hat’s w hat I n dia n t im e i s . T he p ast, th e f u tu re , a ll o f i t i s w ra p ped u p i n t h e n ow . T hat’s h ow i t i s . We are t r a pped i n t h e n ow .

Ju nio r a n d I sa t o ut b y B en ja m in L ak e u ntil d aw n. W e h eard voic es n ow a n d a g ain , sa w lig hts in th e tr e es. A fte r I sa w m y gra n dm oth er w alk in g a cro ss th e w ate r to w ard m e, I th re w a w ay th e r e st o f m y n ew d ru g a n d h id i n t h e b ack se at o f J u nio r’s c ar.

Late r th at d ay w e w ere p ark ed in f ro nt o f th e T ra d in g P ost, gossip in g a n d la u ghin g, ta lk in g sto rie s w hen B ig M om w alk ed up to th e c ar. B ig M om w as th e s p ir itu al le ad er o f th e S pokan e Trib e. S he h ad so m uch g ood m ed ic in e I th in k sh e m ay h av e been t h e o ne w ho c re ate d t h e e arth .

“I k now w hat y ou s a w ,” B ig M om s a id .

“W e d id n’t s e e n oth in g,” I s a id , b ut w e a ll k new th at I w as "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" ly in g.

Big M om s m ile d a t m e, s h ook h er h ead a little , a n d h an ded me a l ittle d ru m . I t l o oked l ik e i t w as a b out a h undre d y ears o ld , may be o ld er. I t w as s o s m all i t c o uld f it i n t h e p alm o f m y h an d.

“Y ou k eep t h at,” s h e s a id . “ Ju st i n c ase .” “Ju st i n c ase o f w hat? ” I a sk ed .

“T hat’s m y p ag er. J u st g iv e it a ta p a n d I ’ll b e r ig ht o ver,” sh e s a id a n d l a u ghed a s s h e w alk ed a w ay .

Now , I ’ll te ll y ou th at I h av en ’t u se d th e th in g. I n f a ct, B ig Mom d ie d a c o uple y ears b ack a n d I ’m n ot s u re s h e’d c o m e e v en if th e th in g d id w ork . B ut I k eep it re ally c lo se to m e, lik e B ig Mom s a id , j u st i n c ase . I g uess y ou c o uld c all i t t h e o nly r e lig io n I h av e, o ne d ru m t h at c an f it i n m y h an d, b ut I t h in k i f I p la y ed i t a l ittle , i t m ig ht f ill u p t h e w hole w orld .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" BEC AUSE M Y F A TH ER ALW AYS S A ID H E W AS T H E O NLY I N DIA N W HO S A W J IM I H EN DRIX P L A Y “T H E S T A R-S P A NG LED BA NNER ” A T WOODST O CK D URIN G T H E S IX TIE S , MY fa th er w as th e p erfe ct h ip pie , sin ce a ll t h e h ip pie s w ere t r y in g t o b e I n dia n s. B ecau se o f t h at, h ow c o uld a n yone re co gniz e th at m y fa th er w as tr y in g to m ak e a so cia l s ta te m en t?

But th ere is ev id en ce, a photo gra p h of my fa th er d em onstr a tin g in Spokan e, W ash in gto n, durin g th e V ie tn am W ar. T he p hoto gra p h m ad e it o nto th e w ir e se rv ic e an d w as r e p rin te d i n n ew sp ap ers t h ro ughout t h e c o untr y . I n f a ct, i t w as o n t h e c o ver o f Tim e .

In th e p hoto gra p h, m y f a th er is d re sse d in b ell- b otto m s a n d f lo w ere d sh ir t, his hair in bra id s, w ith re d peace sy m bols " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" sp la sh ed a cro ss h is fa ce lik e w ar p ain t. In h is h an ds m y fa th er hold s a r if le a b ove h is h ead , c ap tu re d i n t h at m om en t j u st b efo re he p ro ceed ed to b eat th e s h it o ut o f th e N atio nal G uard p riv ate ly in g p ro ne o n th e g ro und. A fe llo w d em onstr a to r h old s a s ig n th at is ju st b are ly v is ib le o ver m y f a th er’s le ft s h ould er. I t r e ad MAKE L O VE N OT W AR .

The p hoto gra p her w on a P ulitz er P riz e, a n d e d ito rs a cro ss th e c o untr y h ad a l o t o f f u n c re atin g c ap tio ns a n d h ead lin es. I ’v e re ad m an y o f th em c o lle cte d in m y fa th er’s s c ra p book, a n d m y fa v orite w as ru n in th e Sea ttle T im es . T he cap tio n under th e photo gra p h re ad DEM ONST R ATO R G OES T O W AR FO R PE A CE . T he ed ito rs c ap ita liz ed o n m y f a th er’s N ativ e A m eric an i d en tity w ith oth er head lin es lik e ONE W ARRIO R A GAIN ST W AR an d PE A CEFU L GATH ER IN G T U RN S I N TO N ATIV E U PR IS IN G .

Anyw ay, m y fa th er w as arre ste d , ch arg ed w ith atte m pte d murd er, w hic h w as re d uced to a ssa u lt w ith a d ead ly w eap on. It was a h ig h-p ro file c ase so m y fa th er w as u se d a s a n e x am ple .

Convic te d a n d se n te n ced q uic k ly , h e sp en t tw o y ears in W alla Walla Sta te Pen ite n tia ry . Alth ough his pris o n se n te n ce eff e ctiv ely k ep t h im o ut o f th e w ar, m y fa th er w en t th ro ugh a dif fe re n t k in d o f w ar b eh in d b ars .

“T here w as In dia n g an gs a n d w hite g an gs a n d b la ck g an gs an d M ex ic an g an gs,” h e t o ld m e o nce. “ A nd t h ere w as s o m eb ody "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" new k ille d e v ery d ay . W e’d h ear a b out s o m eb ody g ettin g i t i n t h e sh ow er o r w here v er a n d th e w ord w ould g o d ow n th e lin e. J u st one w ord . J u st t h e c o lo r o f h is s k in . R ed , w hite , b la ck , o r b ro w n.

Then w e’d c h alk it u p o n th e m en ta l s c o re b oard a n d w ait f o r th e nex t b ro ad cast.” My fa th er m ad e it th ro ugh all th at, nev er got in to an y se rio us t r o uble , s o m eh ow a v oid ed r a p e, a n d g ot o ut o f p ris o n j u st in tim e to h itc h hik e to W oodsto ck to w atc h J im i H en drix p la y “T he S ta r-S pan gle d B an ner.” “A fte r all th e sh it I’d b een th ro ugh,” m y fa th er sa id , “I fig ure d J im i m ust h av e k now n I w as th ere in th e c ro w d to p la y so m eth in g l ik e t h at. I t w as e x actly h ow I f e lt.” Tw en ty y ears la te r, m y f a th er p la y ed h is J im i H en drix ta p e until it w ore d ow n. O ver an d o ver, th e h ouse fille d w ith th e ro ck ets ’ r e d g la re a n d th e b om bs b urs tin g in a ir. H e’d s it b y th e ste re o w ith a c o ole r o f b eer b esid e h im a n d c ry , la u gh, c all m e over a n d h old m e t ig ht i n h is a rm s, h is b ad b re ath a n d b ody o dor co verin g m e l ik e a b la n ket.

Jim i H en drix a n d m y f a th er b ecam e d rin kin g b uddie s. J im i Hen drix w aite d f o r m y f a th er t o c o m e h om e a fte r a l o ng n ig ht o f drin kin g. H ere ’s h ow t h e c ere m ony w ork ed :

1. I w ould lie a w ak e a ll n ig ht a n d lis te n f o r th e s o unds "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" of m y f a th er’s p ic k up.

2. W hen I heard m y fa th er’s pic k up, I w ould ru n upsta ir s a n d t h ro w J im i’ s t a p e i n to t h e s te re o .

3. J im i w ould b en d h is g uita r i n to t h e f ir s t n ote o f “ T he Sta r-S pan gle d B an ner” j u st a s m y f a th er w alk ed i n sid e.

4. M y fa th er w ould w eep , a tte m pt to h um a lo ng w ith Jim i, a n d t h en p ass o ut w ith h is h ead o n t h e k itc h en t a b le .

5. I w ould f a ll a sle ep u nder t h e t a b le w ith m y h ead n ear my f a th er’s f e et.

6. W e’d d re am t o geth er u ntil t h e s u n c am e u p.

The d ay s a fte r, m y f a th er w ould f e el s o g uilty th at h e w ould te ll me s to rie s a s a m ean s o f a p olo gy.

“I m et y our m oth er a t a p arty in S pokan e,” m y fa th er to ld me o nce. “ W e w ere t h e o nly t w o I n dia n s a t t h e p arty . M ay be t h e only tw o In dia n s in th e w hole to w n. I th ought sh e w as so beau tif u l. I f ig ure d s h e w as th e k in d o f w om an w ho c o uld m ak e buff a lo w alk o n u p to h er a n d g iv e u p th eir liv es. S he w ould n’t hav e n eed ed to h unt. E very tim e w e w en t w alk in g, b ir d s w ould fo llo w u s a ro und. H ell, t u m ble w eed s w ould f o llo w u s a ro und.” Som eh ow m y fa th er’s m em orie s o f m y m oth er g re w m ore beau tif u l a s th eir r e la tio nsh ip b ecam e m ore h ostile . B y th e tim e th e d iv orc e w as fin al, m y m oth er w as q uite p ossib ly th e m ost "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" beau tif u l w om an w ho e v er l iv ed .

“Y our fa th er w as a lw ay s h alf c ra zy,” m y m oth er to ld m e more t h an o nce. “ A nd t h e o th er h alf w as o n m ed ic atio n.” But sh e lo ved him , to o, w ith a fe ro city th at ev en tu ally fo rc ed h er t o l e av e h im . T hey f o ught e ach o th er w ith t h e k in d o f gra cefu l an ger th at o nly lo ve can cre ate . S till, th eir lo ve w as passio nate , unpre d ic ta b le , an d se lf is h . M y m oth er an d fa th er would g et d ru nk a n d l e av e p artie s a b ru ptly t o g o h om e a n d m ak e lo ve.

“D on’t te ll y our fa th er I to ld y ou th is ,” m y m oth er sa id .

“B ut th ere m ust h av e b een a h undre d tim es h e p asse d o ut o n to p of m e. W e’d b e r ig ht i n t h e m id dle o f i t, h e’d s a y I lo ve y o u , h is ey es w ould ro ll back w ard s, an d th en out w en t his lig hts . It so unds s tr a n ge, I k now , b ut t h ose w ere g ood t im es.” I w as c o nceiv ed d urin g o ne o f th ose d ru nken n ig hts , h alf o f me f o rm ed b y m y f a th er’s w his k ey s p erm , t h e o th er h alf f o rm ed by m y m oth er’s v odka e g g. I w as b orn a g oofy r e se rv atio n m ix ed drin k, a n d m y f a th er n eed ed m e j u st a s m uch a s h e n eed ed e v ery oth er k in d o f d rin k.

One n ig ht m y fa th er a n d I w ere d riv in g h om e in a n ear- bliz zard a fte r a b ask etb all g am e, l is te n in g t o t h e r a d io . W e d id n’t ta lk m uch . O ne, b ecau se m y f a th er d id n’t t a lk m uch w hen h e w as so ber, an d tw o, becau se In dia n s don’t need to ta lk to "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" co m munic ate .

“H ello o ut th ere , fo lk s, th is is B ig B ill B ag gin s, w ith th e la te -n ig ht c la ssic s sh ow o n K RO C, 9 7.2 o n y our F M d ia l. W e hav e a re q uest fro m B etty in T ek oa. S he w an ts to h ear Jim i Hen drix ’s v ers io n o f ‘T he S ta r- S pan gle d B an ner’ re co rd ed liv e at W oodsto ck .” My f a th er s m ile d , tu rn ed th e v olu m e u p, a n d w e r o de d ow n th e h ig hw ay w hile J im i le d th e w ay lik e a s n ow plo w . U ntil th at nig ht, I’d a lw ay s b een n eu tr a l a b out J im i H en drix . B ut, in th at near- b liz zard w ith m y fa th er at th e w heel, w ith th e nerv ous sile n ce c au se d b y th e d an gero us ro ad s a n d Jim i’s g uita r, th ere se em ed to b e m ore to a ll th at m usic . T he r e v erb era tio n c am e to mean s o m eth in g, t o ok f o rm a n d f u nctio n.

That s o ng m ad e m e w an t t o l e arn t o p la y g uita r, n ot b ecau se I w an te d to b e J im i H en drix a n d n ot b ecau se I th ought I ’d e v er pla y fo r a n yone. I ju st w an te d to to uch th e s tr in gs, to h old th e guita r tig ht a g ain st m y b ody, in ven t a c h ord , a n d c o m e c lo se r to what J im i k new , t o w hat m y f a th er k new .

“Y ou k now ,” I sa id to m y fa th er a fte r th e so ng w as o ver, “m y g en era tio n o f I n dia n b oys a in ’t e v er h ad n o r e al w ar t o f ig ht.

The fir s t In dia n s h ad C uste r to fig ht. M y g re at- g ra n dfa th er h ad World W ar I, m y gra n dfa th er had W orld W ar II, you had Vie tn am . A ll I h av e i s v id eo g am es.” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" My f a th er l a u ghed f o r a l o ng t im e, n early d ro ve o ff t h e r o ad in to t h e s n ow y f ie ld s.

“S hit,” h e s a id . “ I d on’t k now w hy y ou’re f e elin g s o rry f o r yours e lf b ecau se y ou a in ’t h ad t o f ig ht a w ar. Y ou’re l u ck y. S hit, all y ou h ad w as th at d am n D ese rt S to rm . S hould h av e c alle d it Desse rt S to rm b ecau se it ju st m ad e th e f a t c ats g et f a tte r. I t w as all s u gar a n d w hip ped c re am w ith a c h erry o n to p. A nd b esid es th at, y ou d id n’t e v en h av e t o f ig ht i t. A ll y ou l o st d urin g t h at w ar was s le ep b ecau se y ou s ta y ed u p a ll n ig ht w atc h in g C N N.” We k ep t d riv in g th ro ugh th e sn ow , ta lk ed ab out w ar an d peace.

“T hat’s a ll th ere is ,” m y fa th er s a id . “ W ar a n d p eace w ith noth in g i n b etw een . I t’ s a lw ay s o ne o r t h e o th er.” “Y ou s o und l ik e a b ook,” I s a id .

“Y eah , w ell, th at’s h ow it is . Ju st b ecau se it’s in a b ook doesn ’t m ak e it n ot tr u e. A nd b esid es, w hy th e h ell w ould y ou wan t to fig ht a w ar fo r th is co untr y ? It’s b een tr y in g to k ill In dia n s s in ce th e v ery b eg in nin g. In dia n s a re p re tty m uch b orn so ld ie rs a n yw ay . D on’t n eed a u nif o rm t o p ro ve i t.” Those w ere th e k in ds o f co nvers a tio ns th at Jim i H en drix fo rc ed u s to h av e. I g uess e v ery s o ng h as a s p ecia l m ean in g f o r so m eo ne so m ew here . E lv is P re sle y is still sh ow in g u p in 7 -1 1 sto re s a cro ss th e c o untr y , e v en th ough h e’s b een d ead f o r y ears , "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" so I f ig ure m usic j u st m ig ht b e t h e m ost i m porta n t t h in g t h ere i s .

Music tu rn ed m y fa th er in to a re se rv atio n p hilo so pher. M usic had p ow erfu l m ed ic in e.

“I r e m em ber th e f ir s t tim e y our m oth er a n d I d an ced ,” m y fa th er to ld m e o nce. “ W e w ere in th is c o w boy b ar. W e w ere th e only r e al c o w boys th ere d esp ite th e f a ct th at w e’re I n dia n s. W e dan ced to a H an k W illia m s so ng. D an ced to th at re al sa d o ne, you k now . ‘ I’m S o L oneso m e I C ould C ry .’ E xcep t y our m oth er an d I w ere n ’t l o neso m e o r c ry in g. W e j u st s h uffle d a lo ng a n d f e ll rig ht g oddam n d ow n i n to l o ve.” “H an k W illia m s an d Jim i H en drix don’t hav e m uch in co m mon,” I s a id .

“H ell, y es, t h ey d o. T hey k new a ll a b out b ro ken h earts ,” m y fa th er s a id .

“Y ou s o und l ik e a b ad m ovie .” “Y eah , w ell, t h at’ s h ow i t i s . Y ou k id s t o day d on’t k now s h it ab out ro m an ce. D on’t k now s h it a b out m usic e ith er. E sp ecia lly you I n dia n k id s. Y ou a ll h av e b een s p oile d b y t h ose d ru m s. B een hearin g th em b eat s o lo ng, y ou th in k th at’s a ll y ou n eed . H ell, so n, e v en a n In dia n n eed s a p ia n o o r g uita r o r sa x ophone n ow an d a g ain .” My fa th er p la y ed in a b an d in h ig h sc h ool. H e w as th e dru m mer. I g uess h e’d b urn ed o ut o n t h ose . N ow , h e w as l ik e t h e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" univ ers a l d efe n der o f t h e g uita r.

“I re m em ber w hen y our fa th er w ould h au l th at o ld g uita r out a n d p la y m e s o ngs,” m y m oth er s a id . “ H e c o uld n’t p la y a ll th at w ell b ut h e tr ie d . Y ou c o uld se e h im th in kin g a b out w hat ch ord h e w as g oin g t o p la y n ex t. H is e y es g ot a ll s q ueezed u p a n d his fa ce tu rn ed all re d . H e k in d o f lo oked th at w ay w hen h e kis se d m e, t o o. B ut d on’t t e ll h im I s a id t h at.” Som e nig hts I la y aw ak e an d lis te n ed to m y pare n ts ’ lo vem ak in g. I k now w hite p eo ple k eep it q uie t, p re te n d th ey don’t e v er m ak e lo ve. M y w hite f rie n ds te ll m e th ey c an ’t e v en im ag in e th eir o w n p are n ts g ettin g it o n. I k now e x actly w hat it so unds lik e w hen m y p are n ts a re to uch in g e ach o th er. It m ak es up fo r know in g ex actly w hat th ey so und lik e w hen th ey ’re fig htin g. P lu s a n d m in us. A dd a n d su btr a ct. It c o m es o ut ju st ab out e v en .

Som e nig hts I w ould fa ll asle ep to th e so unds of m y pare n ts ’ lo vem ak in g. I w ould d re am Jim i H en drix . I c o uld se e my f a th er s ta n din g in th e f ro nt r o w in th e d ark a t W oodsto ck a s Jim i H en drix p la y ed “T he S ta r- S pan gle d B an ner.” M y m oth er was a t h om e w ith m e, b oth o f u s w aitin g f o r m y f a th er t o f in d h is way b ack h om e to th e r e se rv atio n. I t’s a m azin g to r e aliz e I w as aliv e, b re ath in g a n d w ettin g m y b ed , w hen Jim i w as a liv e a n d bre ak in g g uita rs .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" I d re am ed m y fa th er d an cin g w ith a ll th ese sk in ny h ip pie wom en , s m okin g a f e w jo in ts , d ro ppin g a cid , la u ghin g w hen th e ra in fe ll. A nd it d id ra in th ere . I’v e se en a ctu al n ew s fo ota g e.

I’v e s e en th e d ocu m en ta rie s. I t r a in ed . P eo ple h ad to s h are f o od.

Peo ple g ot sic k . P eo ple g ot m arrie d . P eo ple c rie d a ll k in ds o f te ars .

But a s m uch a s I d re am a b out i t, I d on’t h av e a n y c lu e a b out what it m ean t f o r m y f a th er to b e th e o nly I n dia n w ho s a w J im i Hen drix pla y at W oodsto ck . A nd m ay be he w asn ’t th e only In dia n th ere . M ost lik ely th ere w ere hundre d s but m y fa th er th ought h e w as th e o nly o ne. H e to ld m e th at a m illio n tim es when h e w as d ru nk a n d a c o uple h undre d tim es w hen h e w as so ber.

“I w as th ere ,” h e s a id . “ Y ou g ot to r e m em ber th is w as n ear th e e n d a n d th ere w ere n ’t a s m an y p eo ple a s b efo re . N ot n early as m an y. B ut I w aite d i t o ut. I w aite d f o r J im i.” A fe w y ears b ack , m y fa th er p ack ed u p th e fa m ily a n d th e th re e o f u s d ro ve t o S eattle t o v is it J im i H en drix ’s g ra v e. W e h ad our p hoto gra p h t a k en l y in g d ow n n ex t t o t h e g ra v e. T here i s n ’t a gra v esto ne t h ere . J u st o ne o f t h ose f la t m ark ers .

Jim i w as tw en ty -e ig ht w hen h e d ie d . T hat’s y ounger th an Je su s C hris t w hen h e d ie d . Y ounger th an m y f a th er a s w e s to od over t h e g ra v e.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “O nly t h e g ood d ie y oung,” m y f a th er s a id .

“N o,” m y m oth er sa id . “O nly th e cra zy p eo ple ch oke to death o n t h eir o w n v om it.” “W hy you ta lk in g ab out m y hero th at w ay ?” m y fa th er ask ed .

“S hit,” m y m oth er sa id . “O ld Je sse W ild S hoe ch oked to death o n h is o w n v om it a n d h e a in ’t a n ybody’s h ero .” I s to od b ack a n d w atc h ed m y p are n ts a rg ue. I w as u se d to th ese b attle s. W hen a n In dia n m arria g e s ta rts to fa ll a p art, it’s ev en m ore d estr u ctiv e a n d p ain fu l th an u su al. A h undre d y ears ag o, a n In dia n m arria g e w as b ro ken e asily . T he w om an o r m an ju st p ack ed u p a ll th eir p osse ssio ns a n d le ft th e tip i. T here w ere no a rg um en ts , n o d is c u ssio ns. N ow , I n dia n s f ig ht t h eir w ay t o t h e en d, h old in g o nto th e la st g ood th in g, b ecau se o ur w hole liv es hav e t o d o w ith s u rv iv al.

Afte r a w hile , a fte r to o m uch fig htin g a n d to o m an y a n gry word s h ad b een ex ch an ged , m y fa th er w en t o ut an d b ought a moto rc y cle . A b ig b ik e. H e l e ft t h e h ouse o fte n t o r id e t h at t h in g fo r h ours , s o m etim es f o r d ay s. H e e v en s tr a p ped a n o ld c asse tte pla y er t o t h e g as t a n k s o h e c o uld l is te n t o m usic . W ith t h at b ik e, he le arn ed so m eth in g new ab out ru nnin g aw ay. H e sto pped ta lk in g a s m uch , s to pped d rin kin g a s m uch . H e d id n’t d o m uch o f an yth in g e x cep t r id e t h at b ik e a n d l is te n t o m usic .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Then o ne n ig ht m y f a th er w re ck ed h is b ik e o n D ev il’s G ap Road a n d e n ded u p i n t h e h osp ita l f o r t w o m onth s. H e b ro ke b oth his l e g s, c ra ck ed h is r ib s, a n d p unctu re d a l u ng. H e a ls o l a cera te d his k id ney. T he d octo rs s a id h e c o uld h av e d ie d e asily . In fa ct, th ey w ere su rp ris e d he m ad e it th ro ugh su rg ery , le t alo ne su rv iv ed t h ose f ir s t f e w h ours w hen h e l a y o n t h e r o ad , b le ed in g.

But I w asn ’t s u rp ris e d . T hat’ s h ow m y f a th er w as.

And e v en th ough m y m oth er d id n’t w an t to b e m arrie d to him a n ym ore a n d h is w re ck d id n’t c h an ge h er m in d a b out th at, sh e s till c am e t o s e e h im e v ery d ay. S he s a n g I n dia n t u nes u nder her b re ath , i n t im e w ith t h e h um o f t h e m ach in es h ooked i n to m y fa th er. A lth ough m y fa th er co uld b are ly m ove, h e ta p ped h is fin ger i n r h yth m .

When h e h ad th e str e n gth to fin ally sit u p a n d ta lk , h old co nvers a tio ns, a n d t e ll s to rie s, h e c alle d f o r m e.

“V ic to r,” h e s a id . “ S tic k w ith f o ur w heels .” Afte r h e b eg an to re co ver, m y m oth er sto pped v is itin g a s ofte n . S he h elp ed h im t h ro ugh t h e w ors t, t h ough. W hen h e d id n’t need h er a n ym ore , s h e w en t b ack t o t h e l if e s h e h ad c re ate d . S he tr a v ele d to pow wow s, sta rte d to dan ce ag ain . She was a ch am pio n t r a d itio nal d an cer w hen s h e w as y ounger.

“I r e m em ber y our m oth er w hen s h e w as th e b est tr a d itio nal dan cer in th e w orld ,” m y fa th er s a id . “ E very one w an te d to c all "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" her s w eeth eart. B ut s h e o nly d an ced fo r m e. T hat’s h ow it w as.

She t o ld m e t h at e v ery o th er s te p w as j u st f o r m e.” “B ut t h at’ s o nly h alf o f t h e d an ce,” I s a id .

“Y eah ,” m y fa th er sa id . “S he w as keep in g th e re st fo r hers e lf . N obody c an g iv e e v ery th in g a w ay . I t a in ’t h ealth y.” “Y ou k now ,” I sa id , “ so m etim es y ou so und lik e y ou a in ’t ev en r e al.” “W hat’s re al? I ain ’t in te re ste d in what’s re al. I’m in te re ste d i n h ow t h in gs s h ould b e.” My f a th er’s m in d a lw ay s w ork ed t h at w ay. I f y ou d on’t l ik e th e th in gs y ou r e m em ber, th en a ll y ou h av e to d o is c h an ge th e mem orie s. In ste ad o f re m em berin g th e b ad th in gs, re m em ber what h ap pen ed im med ia te ly b efo re . T hat’s w hat I le arn ed fro m my f a th er. F or m e, I r e m em ber h ow g ood th e f ir s t d rin k o f th at Die t Pep si ta ste d in ste ad of how m y m outh fe lt when I sw allo w ed a w asp w ith t h e s e co nd d rin k.

Becau se of all th at, m y fa th er alw ay s re m em bere d th e se co nd b efo re m y m oth er le ft h im fo r g ood a n d to ok m e w ith her. N o. I re m em bere d th e se co nd befo re m y fa th er le ft m y moth er a n d m e. N o. M y m oth er re m em bere d th e s e co nd b efo re my f a th er l e ft h er t o f in is h r a is in g m e a ll b y h ers e lf .

But h ow ev er m em ory a ctu ally w ork ed , i t w as m y f a th er w ho clim bed on his m oto rc y cle , w av ed to m e as I sto od in th e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" win dow , a n d r o de a w ay. H e liv ed in S eattle , S an F ra n cis c o , L os Angele s, b efo re h e f in ally e n ded u p i n P hoen ix . F or a w hile , I g ot postc ard s n early e v ery w eek . T hen it w as o nce a m onth . T hen it was o n C hris tm as a n d m y b ir th day .

On a re se rv atio n, In dia n m en w ho a b an don th eir c h ild re n are tr e ate d w ors e th an w hite f a th ers w ho d o th e s a m e th in g. I t’s becau se w hite m en h av e b een d oin g th at f o re v er a n d I n dia n m en hav e j u st l e arn ed h ow . T hat’ s h ow a ssim ila tio n c an w ork .

My m oth er d id h er b est to e x pla in it a ll to m e, a lth ough I unders to od m ost o f w hat h ap pen ed .

“W as i t b ecau se o f J im i H en drix ?” I a sk ed h er.

“P art of it, yeah ,” sh e sa id . “T his m ig ht be th e only marria g e b ro ken u p b y a d ead g uita r p la y er.” “T here ’s a f ir s t t im e f o r e v ery th in g, e n it? ” “I g uess. Y our fa th er ju st lik es b ein g a lo ne m ore th an h e lik es b ein g w ith o th er p eo ple . E ven m e a n d y ou.” Som etim es I c au ght m y m oth er d ig gin g th ro ugh o ld p hoto alb um s o r s ta rin g a t th e w all o r o ut th e w in dow . S he’d g et th at lo ok o n h er fa ce th at I k new m ean t s h e m is se d m y fa th er. N ot en ough to w an t h im b ack . S he m is se d h im ju st e n ough f o r it to hurt.

On th ose n ig hts I m is se d h im m ost I lis te n ed to m usic . N ot alw ay s Jim i H en drix . U su ally I lis te n ed to th e blu es. R obert "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Jo hnso n m ostly . T he fir s t tim e I h eard R obert Jo hnso n sin g I knew h e u nders to od w hat i t m ean t t o b e I n dia n o n t h e e d ge o f t h e tw en ty -fir s t c en tu ry , e v en i f h e w as b la ck a t t h e b eg in nin g o f t h e tw en tie th . T hat m ust h av e b een h ow m y f a th er f e lt w hen h e h eard Jim i H en drix . W hen h e s to od t h ere i n t h e r a in a t W oodsto ck .

Then o n th e n ig ht I m is se d m y fa th er m ost, w hen I la y in bed a n d c rie d , w ith t h at p hoto gra p h o f h im b eatin g t h at N atio nal Guard p riv ate i n m y h an ds, I i m ag in ed h is m oto rc y cle p ullin g u p outs id e. I k new I w as d re am in g it a ll b ut I le t it b e re al fo r a mom en t.

“V ic to r,” m y f a th er y elle d . “ L et’ s g o f o r a r id e.” “I’ll b e r ig ht d ow n. I n eed t o g et m y c o at o n.” I ru sh ed a ro und th e h ouse , p ulle d m y s h oes a n d s o ck s o n, str u ggle d in to m y co at, an d ra n outs id e to fin d an em pty driv ew ay. I t w as s o q uie t, a r e se rv atio n k in d o f q uie t, w here y ou can h ear so m eb ody d rin kin g w his k ey o n th e ro ck s th re e m ile s aw ay. I sto od o n th e p orc h a n d w aite d u ntil m y m oth er c am e outs id e.

“C om e o n b ack i n sid e,” s h e s a id . “ It’ s c o ld .” “N o,” I s a id . “ I k now h e’s c o m in g b ack t o nig ht.” My m oth er d id n’t s a y a n yth in g. S he j u st w ra p ped m e i n h er fa v orite q uilt a n d w en t b ack to sle ep . I sto od o n th e p orc h a ll nig ht lo ng a n d im ag in ed I h eard m oto rc y cle s a n d g uita rs , u ntil "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" th e s u n r o se s o b rig ht t h at I k new i t w as t im e t o g o b ack i n sid e t o my m oth er. S he m ad e b re ak fa st fo r b oth o f u s a n d w e a te u ntil we w ere f u ll.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" C RAZY H ORSE D REA M S S HE T R IE D T O S TA ND c lo se to V ic to r a t th e f ry b re ad s ta n d, b ut h e m oved f ro m o pen s p ace t o o pen s p ace, b etw een t h e o th er I n dia n s e atin g an d drin kin g, w hile he hoped th e B la ck fo ot w aitr e ss w ould f in ally t a k e h is o rd er. W hen h e g re w t ir e d o f t h e c h ase , h e t u rn ed t o l e av e a n d s h e w as s ta n din g t h ere .

“T hey d on’t p ay y ou an y m in d b ecau se y our h air is to o s h ort,” s h e s a id .

She’s to o sh ort to b e th is h onest, h e th ought. H er b ra id s r e ach d ow n to h er w ais t, b ut o n a ta ll w om an th ey w ould b e s im ple , in sig nif ic an t. S he’s w earin g a fif ty -d olla r rib bon sh ir t m an ufa ctu re d b y a co m pan y in S pokan e. H e’d re ad ab out th e I n dia n g ra n dm oth er w ho d esig ns th em , e ach a n o rig in al, b efo re s h e s e lls th em f o r a s ta n dard o pera tin g f e e. H e r e m em bere d th e r e d head ed b an k te lle r w ho c ash ed h is c h eck a n d a sk ed h im if h e t h ought her sh ir t w as au th en tic . A uth en tic . H e sta re d at th is s m all I n dia n w om an s ta n din g i n h is w ay a n d w alk ed p ast h er.

“H ey , O ne-B ra id ,” s h e c alle d a fte r h im . “ T oo g ood f o r m e?” “N o,” h e s a id . “ T oo b ig .” He w alk ed aw ay, th ro ugh th e sa w ch ip s sp re ad over th e g ro und to k eep th e d ust d ow n, d ow n to th e s tic k gam e p av ilio n.

" * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" He w as s u rp ris e d to s e e W illie B oyd h old in g th e b ones, m ak in g gas m oney fo r th e rid e to th e n ex t p ow wow . H e d ug in to h is pock ets , fo und a fiv e-d olla r b ill, an d th re w it in w ith W illie .

Willie s h if te d th e b ones fro m h an d to h an d, a N ativ e m ag ic ia n work in g w ith out m ir ro rs , h is h an d a n in ch q uic k er th an th e e y es of t h e o ld w om an s ittin g o n t h e o th er s id e, t r y in g t o f in d t h e b one with t h e c o lo re d b an d. T he o ld w om an l a u ghed w hen s h e g uesse d wro ng, t h re w a f e w c ru m ple d b ills i n to t h e d ir t i n f ro nt o f W illie .

“L et it rid e a ll n ig ht, W illie ,” V ic to r sa id . “ I a in ’t g oin g now here .” It w as o nly th e fir s t n ig ht o f th e p ow wow , e v ery one h ad money in th eir p ock ets . A f iv e-d olla r b ill c o uld n’t m ean a th in g until th e en d, w hen th e la st v an h ead in g o ut o f B ro w nin g o r Popla r h ad ro om fo r o nly o ne m ore . W illie B oyd d ro ve a n R V with a te le v is io n a n d a re frig era to r, w ith a s u nro of th at to ok in all t h e a ir. W hen i t m atte re d , V ic to r t h ought, W illie B oyd w ould re m em ber t h at f iv e d olla rs . W illie B oyd a lw ay s r e m em bere d .

She w as sta n din g beh in d him , ag ain , w hen he tu rn ed to le av e.

“Y ou m ust b e a r ic h m an ,” s h e s a id . “ N ot m uch o f a w arrio r, th ough. Y ou k eep l e ttin g m e s n eak u p o n y ou.” “Y ou d on’t s u rp ris e m e,” h e s a id . “ T he P la in s In dia n s h ad wom en w ho ro de th eir h ors e s e ig hte en h ours a d ay. T hey c o uld "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" sh oot s e v en a rro w s c o nse cu tiv ely , h av e th em a ll in th e a ir a t th e sa m e tim e. T hey w ere th e b est lig ht c av alr y in th e h is to ry o f th e world .” “Ju st m y l u ck ,” s h e s a id . “ A n e d ucate d I n dia n .” “Y eah ,” h e s a id . “ R ese rv atio n U niv ers ity .” They both la u ghed at th e old jo ke. E very In dia n is an alu m nus.

“W here y ou f ro m ?” s h e a sk ed .

“W ellp in it,” h e s a id . “ I’m a S pokan e.” “I s h ould ’v e k now n. Y ou g ot t h ose f is h erm an ’s h an ds.” “A in ’t n o s a lm on le ft in o ur riv er. J u st a s c h ool b us a n d a fe w h undre d b ask etb alls .” “W hat t h e h ell y ou t a lk in g a b out? ” “O ur b ask etb all t e am d riv es i n to t h e r iv er a n d d ro w ns e v ery year,” h e s a id . “ It’ s t r a d itio n.” She l a u ghed . “ Y ou’re j u st a s to ry te lle r, a in ’t y ou?” “I’m ju st te llin g y ou th in gs b efo re th ey h ap pen ,” h e sa id .

“T he s a m e th in gs s o ns a n d d au ghte rs w ill te ll y our m oth ers a n d fa th ers .” “D o y ou e v er a n sw er a q uestio n s tr a ig ht? ” “D ep en ds o n t h e q uestio n,” h e s a id .

“D o y ou w an t t o b e m y p ow wow p ara d is e ?” She to ok h im b ack to h er W in neb ag o. In th e d ark , o n th e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" pla stic m attr e ss, sh e to uch ed h is so ft b elly . H is h an ds m oved over h er, fa n cy dan cers , e ach g oin g fa rth er a w ay fro m h is b ody.

He w as s h ak in g.

“W hat a re y ou s c are d o f? ” s h e a sk ed .

“E le v ato rs , e sc ala to rs , r e v olv in g d oors . A ny k in d o f f o rc ed movem en t.” “Y ou d on’t h av e to w orry a b out th ose k in d o f th in gs a t a pow wow .” “T hat’s n ot tr u e,” h e s a id . “ W e h ad a n I n dia n c o nfe re n ce a t th e S hera to n H ote l in S pokan e la st w in te r. A bout tw en ty o f u s cro w ded in to a n e le v ato r to g o u p to m y r o om a n d w e g ot s tu ck betw een th e tw elf th a n d f o urte en th f lo ors . T w en ty I n dia n s a n d a little o ld w hite e le v ato r m an h av in g a h eart a tta ck .” “Y ou’re l y in g,” s h e s a id . “ Y ou s to le t h at s to ry .” “W hat sc are s y ou?” h e ask ed . S he w as q uie t. S he sta re d hard at him , tr y in g to fin d his fe atu re s am ong th e sh ad ow s, fo rm ed a p ic tu re o f h im i n h er m in d. B ut s h e w as w ro ng. H is h air was th in ner, m ore bro w n th an bla ck . H is han ds w ere sm all.

Som eh ow s h e w as s till w aitin g f o r C ra zy H ors e .

“I h av e th is d re am a b out p la y in g b in go,” sh e sa id . “ It’s a millio n-d olla r bla ck out an d I only need B -6 . B ut th e calle r an nounces B -7 an d ev ery one els e in th e w hole d am n p la ce is yellin g o ut, Bin go!

” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “S ounds m ore lik e th e tr u th to m e,” h e s a id a s s h e r e ach ed acro ss h im a n d t u rn ed o n t h e l ig ht.

Vic to r w as su rp ris e d . S he h ad g ro w n. S he w as th e m ost en orm ous w om an h e h ad e v er s e en . H er h air f e ll d ow n o ver h er body, a n e x plo sio n o f h ors e s. S he w as m ore b eau tif u l th an h e wan te d , m ore o f a c h ild o f f re ew ay e x its a n d c ab le te le v is io n, a moth er to th e c h ild re n w ho w aite d o uts id e 7 -1 1 a sk in g h im to buy th em a c ase o f C oors L ig ht. S he sa t o n th e b us tr a v elin g upto w n to a co m munity co lle g e. S he sa t o n th e b us tr a v elin g to w ard citie s th at g re w , d ouble d . T here w as n oth in g h e co uld giv e h er f a th er to e arn h er h an d, n oth in g s h e w ould u nders ta n d, re m em ber.

“W hat’ s w ro ng?” s h e a sk ed , r e ach in g f o r t h e l ig ht a g ain , b ut he s to pped h er, h eld h er w ris t t ig htly , p ain fu lly .

“W hy d on’t y ou h av e a n y s c ars ? ” h e a sk ed , p ullin g h er f a ce clo se t o h is , h er b ra id s t o uch in g h is c h est.

“W hy d o y ou h av e s o f u ck in g m an y?” s h e a sk ed h im .

Then s h e w as a fra id o f t h e m an n ak ed b esid e h er, u nder h er, afra id o f th at m an w ho w as s im ple in c lo th es a n d c o w boy b oots , a f e ath er i n a b ottle .

“Y ou’re n oth in g im porta n t,” h e sa id . “ Y ou’re ju st a n oth er goddam ned I n dia n l ik e m e.” “W ro ng,” s h e s a id , t w is tin g f ro m h is g rip a n d s ittin g u p, h er "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" arm s c ro sse d o ver h er c h est. “ I’m t h e b est k in d o f I n dia n a n d I ’m in b ed w ith m y f a th er.” He l a u ghed . S he w as s ile n t. S he t h ought s h e c o uld b e s a v ed .

She t h ought h e c o uld t a k e h er h an d a n d o w ld an ce h er a ro und t h e cir c le . S he th ought s h e c o uld w atc h h im fa n cy dan ce, w atc h h is calf m usc le s g ro w m ore a n d m ore p erfe ct w ith e ach ste p . S he th ought h e w as C ra zy H ors e .

He g ot u p, p ulle d o n h is L ev i’s , b utto ned h is r e d -a n d-b la ck fla n nel sh ir t, th e k in d so m e w rite r calle d an In dia n sh ir t. H e ste p ped in to h is c o w boy b oots , o pen ed th e tin y r e frig era to r, a n d gra b bed a b eer.

“Y ou’re n oth in g. Y ou’re n oth in g,” h e s a id a n d l e ft.

Sta n din g i n t h e d ark , n ex t t o a t ip i w ith b lu e s m oke e sc ap in g fro m th e fir e in sid e, he w atc h ed th e W in neb ag o. F or hours , Vic to r w atc h ed t h e l ig hts g o o n a n d o ff , o n a n d o ff . H e w is h ed h e was C ra zy H ors e .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" TH E O NLY T R AFFIC SIG NAL O N T H E R ESE R VATIO N D O ESN ’T FL A SH R ED A NYM ORE “ G O A HEA D,” A DRIA N S A ID . “ P ull t h e t r ig ger.” I h eld a p is to l to m y te m ple . I w as s o ber b ut w is h ed I w as d ru nk e n ough t o p ull t h e t r ig ger.

“G o f o r i t,” A dria n s a id . “ Y ou c h ic k en sh it.” While I s till h eld th at p is to l to m y te m ple , I u se d m y o th er h an d t o f lip A dria n o ff . T hen I m ad e a f is t w ith m y t h ir d h an d t o g ath er a little b it o f c o ura g e o r s tu pid ity , a n d w ip ed s w eat f ro m m y f o re h ead w ith m y f o urth h an d.

“H ere ,” A dria n s a id . “ G iv e m e t h e d am n t h in g.” A dria n t o ok t h e p is to l, p ut th e b arre l in h is m outh , s m ile d a ro und th e m eta l, a n d p ulle d th e tr ig ger. T hen h e c u sse d w ild ly , la u ghed , a n d s p it o ut t h e B B.

“A re y ou d ead y et? ” I a sk ed .

“N ope,” h e s a id . “ N ot y et. G iv e m e a n oth er b eer.” “H ey , w e d on’t d rin k n o m ore , r e m em ber? H ow a b out a D ie t " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" Pep si? ” “T hat’ s r ig ht, e n it? I f o rg ot. G iv e m e a P ep si.” Adria n a n d I s a t o n th e p orc h a n d w atc h ed th e r e se rv atio n.

Noth in g h ap pen ed . F ro m o ur c h air s m ad e ro ck ers b y u nste ad y le g s, w e c o uld s e e th at th e o nly tr a ff ic s ig nal o n th e r e se rv atio n had s to pped w ork in g.

“H ey, V ic to r,” A dria n a sk ed . “ N ow w hen d id t h at t h in g q uit fla sh in g?” “D on’t k now ,” I s a id .

It w as s u m mer. H ot. B ut w e k ep t o ur s h ir ts o n to h id e o ur beer b ellie s a n d c h ic k en -p ox s c ars . A t l e ast, I w an te d t o h id e m y beer b elly . I w as a f o rm er b ask etb all s ta r f a lle n o ut o f s h ap e. I t’s alw ay s k in d o f sa d w hen th at h ap pen s. T here ’s n oth in g m ore unattr a ctiv e th an a v ain m an , a n d th at g oes d ouble f o r a n I n dia n man .

“S o,” A dria n a sk ed . “ W hat y ou w an t t o d o t o day ?” “D on’t k now .” We w atc h ed a g ro up o f In dia n b oys w alk b y. I’d lik e to th in k t h ere w ere t e n o f t h em . B ut t h ere w ere a ctu ally o nly f o ur o r fiv e. T hey w ere sk in ny, d ark en ed b y su n, th eir h air lo ng an d wild . N one o f t h em l o oked l ik e t h ey h ad s h ow ere d f o r a w eek .

Their s m ell m ad e m e j e alo us.

They w ere o ff to c au se tr o uble s o m ew here , I ’m s u re . L ittle "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" warrio rs l o okin g f o r h onor i n s o m e t w en tie th -c en tu ry v an dalis m .

Thro w a f e w r o ck s t h ro ugh w in dow s, k ic k a d og, s la sh a t ir e . R un lik e h ell w hen th e tr ib al c o ps d ro ve s lo w ly b y th e s c en e o f th e crim e.

“H ey ,” A dria n a sk ed . “ Is n ’t t h at t h e W in dm ak er b oy?” “Y eah ,” I sa id a n d w atc h ed A dria n le an fo rw ard to stu dy Ju liu s W in dm ak er, th e b est b ask etb all p la y er o n th e r e se rv atio n, ev en t h ough h e w as o nly f if te en y ears o ld .

“H e l o oks g ood,” A dria n s a id .

“Y eah , h e m ust n ot b e d rin kin g.” “Y et.” “Y eah , y et.” Ju liu s W in dm ak er was th e la te st in a lo ng lin e of re se rv atio n b ask etb all h ero es, g oin g a ll t h e w ay b ack t o A ris to tle Pola tk in , w ho w as sh ootin g ju m psh ots e x actly o ne y ear b efo re Ja m es N ais m ith s u ppose d ly i n ven te d b ask etb all.

I’d o nly s e en J u liu s p la y a fe w tim es, b ut h e h ad th at g if t, th at g ra ce, th ose fin gers lik e a g oddam n m ed ic in e m an . O ne tim e, w hen th e tr ib al sc h ool tr a v ele d to S pokan e to p la y th is white h ig h s c h ool te am , J u liu s s c o re d s ix ty -s e v en p oin ts a n d th e In dia n s w on b y f o rty .

“I d id n’t k now t h ey ’d b e r id in g h ors e s,” I h eard t h e c o ach o f th e w hite t e am s a y w hen I w as l e av in g.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" I m ean , Ju liu s w as an artis t, m oody. A co uple tim es h e walk ed r ig ht o ff th e c o urt d urin g th e m id dle o f a g am e b ecau se th ere w asn ’t en ough co m petitio n. T hat’s how he w as. Ju liu s co uld th ro w a cra zy p ass, su rp ris e u s all, an d se n d it o ut o f bounds. B ut n obody c alle d i t a t u rn over b ecau se w e a ll k new t h at one o f h is t e am mate s s h ould ’v e b een t h ere t o c atc h t h e p ass. W e lo ved h im .

“H ey, Ju liu s,” A dria n yelle d fro m th e porc h . “Y ou ain ’t sh it.” Ju liu s an d h is frie n ds la u ghed , flip ped u s o ff , an d sh ook th eir ta il fe ath ers a little a s th ey k ep t w alk in g d ow n th e ro ad .

They a ll k new J u liu s w as th e b est b allp la y er o n th e re se rv atio n th ese d ay s, m ay be th e b est e v er, a n d th ey k new A dria n w as ju st co nfir m in g t h at f a ct.

It w as e asie r fo r A dria n to te ase Ju liu s b ecau se h e n ev er re ally p la y ed b ask etb all. H e w as m ore d eta ch ed a b out th e w hole th in g. B ut I u se d to b e q uite a b allp la y er. M ay be n ot a s g ood a s so m e, c erta in ly n ot a s g ood a s J u liu s, b ut I s till f e lt th at a ch e in my b ones, t h at n eed t o b e b ette r t h an e v ery one e ls e . I t’ s t h at n eed to be th e best, th at fe elin g of im morta lity , th at driv es a ballp la y er. A nd w hen it d is a p pears , fo r w hate v er re aso n, th at ballp la y er i s n ev er t h e s a m e p ers o n, o n o r o ff t h e c o urt.

I k now w hen I lo st it, th at e d ge. D urin g m y s e n io r y ear in "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" hig h s c h ool w e m ad e it to th e s ta te f in als . I ’d b een p la y in g lik e cra zy, h ittin g ev ery th in g. It w as lik e th ro w in g ro ck s in to th e ocean fro m a little ro w boat. I c o uld n’t m is s. T hen , rig ht b efo re th e ch am pio nsh ip g am e, w e h ad o ur p re g am e m eetin g in th e fir s t- a id ro om o f th e co lle g e w here th e to urn am en t w as h eld ev ery y ear.

It to ok a w hile fo r o ur c o ach to sh ow u p so w e sp en t th e tim e lo okin g at th ese fir s t- a id m an uals . T hese books had all kin ds of horrib le in ju rie s. H an ds an d fe et sm ash ed fla t in prin tin g pre sse s, to rn ap art by la w nm ow ers , burn ed an d dis m em bere d . F aces th at h ad g one th ro ugh w in dsh ie ld s, d ra g ged over g ra v el, s p lit o pen b y g ard en t o ols . T he s tu ff w as d is g ustin g, but we kep t lo okin g, flip pin g th ro ugh photo gra p h afte r photo gra p h, t r a d in g b ooks, u ntil w e a ll w an te d t o t h ro w u p.

While I l o oked a t t h ose c lo se -u ps o f d eath a n d d estr u ctio n, I lo st it. I th in k e v ery body in th at ro om , e v ery body o n th e te am , lo st th at fe elin g of im morta lity . W e w en t out an d lo st th e ch am pio nsh ip g am e b y t w en ty p oin ts . I m is se d e v ery s h ot I t o ok.

I m is se d e v ery th in g.

“S o,” I a sk ed A dria n . “ Y ou th in k J u liu s w ill m ak e it a ll th e way ?” “M ay be, m ay be.” There ’s a d efin ite h is to ry o f re se rv atio n h ero es w ho n ev er "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" fin is h h ig h sc h ool, w ho n ev er fin is h b ask etb all se aso ns. H ell, th ere ’s b een o ne o r tw o g uys w ho p la y ed ju st a fe w m in ute s o f one g am e, ju st e n ough to s h ow w hat th ey c o uld h av e b een . A nd th ere ’s t h e f a m ous c ase o f S ila s S ir iu s, w ho m ad e o ne m ove a n d sc o re d o ne b ask et i n h is e n tir e b ask etb all c are er. P eo ple s till t a lk ab out i t.

“H ey ,” I a sk ed A dria n . “ R em em ber S ila s S ir iu s? ” “H ell,” A dria n s a id . “ D o I r e m em ber? I w as th ere w hen h e gra b bed th at d efe n siv e r e b ound, to ok a s te p , a n d f le w th e le n gth of th e co urt, d id a fu ll sp in in m id air, an d th en d unked th at fu ck in g b all. A nd I d on’t m ean i t l o oked l ik e h e f le w , o r i t w as s o beau tif u l i t w as a lm ost l ik e h e f le w . I m ean , h e f le w , p erio d.” I la u ghed , sla p ped m y le g s, an d knew th at I belie v ed Adria n ’s s to ry m ore a s i t s o unded l e ss t r u e.

“S hit,” h e c o ntin ued . “ A nd h e d id n’t g ro w n o w in gs. H e j u st kic k ed h is l e g s a l ittle . H eld t h at b all l ik e a b ab y i n h is h an d. A nd he w as s m ilin g. R eally . S m ilin g w hen h e f le w . S m ilin g w hen h e dunked it, s m ilin g w hen h e w alk ed o ff th e c o urt a n d n ev er c am e back . H ell, h e w as s till s m ilin g t e n y ears a fte r t h at.” I l a u ghed s o m e m ore , q uit f o r a s e co nd, t h en l a u ghed a l ittle lo nger b ecau se i t w as t h e r ig ht t h in g t o d o.

“Y eah ,” I s a id . “ S ila s w as a b allp la y er.” “R eal b allp la y er,” A dria n a g re ed .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" In t h e o uts id e w orld , a p ers o n c an b e a h ero o ne s e co nd a n d a n obody t h e n ex t. T hin k a b out i t. D o w hite p eo ple r e m em ber t h e nam es of th ose guys w ho dove in to th at ic y riv er to re sc u e passe n gers f ro m th at p la n e w re ck a f e w y ears b ack ? H ell, w hite peo ple d on’t e v en re m em ber th e n am es o f th e d ogs w ho sa v e en tir e f a m ilie s f ro m b urn in g u p in h ouse f ir e s b y b ark in g. A nd, to b e h onest, I d on’t r e m em ber n one o f t h ose n am es e ith er, b ut a re se rv atio n h ero is re m em bere d . A re se rv atio n h ero is a h ero fo re v er. In fa ct, th eir s ta tu s g ro w s o ver th e y ears a s th e s to rie s are t o ld a n d r e to ld .

“Y eah ,” A dria n sa id . “ It’s to o b ad th at d am n d ia b ete s g ot him . S ila s w as a lw ay s t a lk in g a b out a c o m eb ack .” “T oo b ad , t o o b ad .” We b oth le an ed fu rth er b ack in to o ur c h air s . S ile n ce. W e watc h ed t h e g ra ss g ro w , t h e r iv ers f lo w , t h e w in ds b lo w .

“D am n,” A dria n ask ed . “W hen did th at fu ck in g tr a ff ic sig nal q uit w ork in g?” “D on’t k now .” “S hit, t h ey b ette r f ix i t. M ig ht c au se a n a ccid en t.” We b oth lo oked a t e ach o th er, lo oked a t th e tr a ff ic s ig nal, knew t h at a b out o nly o ne c ar a n h our p asse d b y, a n d l a u ghed o ur asse s off . L au ghed so hard th at w hen w e tr ie d to re arra n ge ours e lv es, A dria n e n ded u p w ith m y a ss a n d I e n ded u p w ith h is .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" That l o oked s o f u nny t h at w e l a u ghed t h em o ff a g ain a n d i t t o ok us m ost o f a n h our t o g et t h em b ack r ig ht a g ain .

Then w e h eard g la ss b re ak in g i n t h e d is ta n ce.

“S ounds l ik e b eer b ottle s,” A dria n s a id .

“Y eah , C oors L ig ht, I t h in k.” “B ottle d 1 988.” We s ta rte d to la u gh, b ut a tr ib al c o p d ro ve b y a n d c ru is e d dow n t h e r o ad w here J u liu s a n d h is f rie n ds h ad w alk ed e arlie r.

“T hin k t h ey ’ll c atc h t h em ?” I a sk ed A dria n .

“A lw ay s d o.” Afte r a fe w m in ute s, th e tr ib al co p d ro ve b y ag ain , w ith Ju liu s i n t h e b ack se at a n d h is f rie n ds r u nnin g b eh in d.

“H ey ,” A dria n a sk ed . “ W hat d id h e d o?” “T hre w a b ric k th ro ugh a B IA p ic k up’s w in dsh ie ld ,” o ne o f th e I n dia n b oys y elle d b ack .

“T old y ou i t s o unded l ik e a p ic k up w in dow ,” I s a id .

“Y eah , y eah , a 1 982 C hev y.” “W ith r e d p ain t.” “N o, b lu e.” We la u ghed f o r ju st a s e co nd. T hen A dria n s ig hed lo ng a n d deep . H e ru bbed his head , ra n his fin gers th ro ugh his hair, sc ra tc h ed h is s c alp h ard .

“I t h in k J u liu s i s g oin g t o g o b ad ,” h e s a id .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “N o w ay ,” I s a id . “ H e’s j u st h ors in g a ro und.” “M ay be, m ay be.” It’s h ard to b e o ptim is tic o n th e re se rv atio n. W hen a g la ss sits o n a t a b le h ere , p eo ple d on’t w onder i f i t’s h alf f ille d o r h alf em pty . T hey j u st h ope i t’s g ood b eer. S till, I n dia n s h av e a w ay o f su rv iv in g. B ut it’s a lm ost lik e I n dia n s c an e asily s u rv iv e th e b ig stu ff . M ass m urd er, lo ss o f la n guag e an d la n d rig hts . It’s th e sm all t h in gs t h at h urt t h e m ost. T he w hite w aitr e ss w ho w ould n’t ta k e a n o rd er, T onto , t h e W ash in gto n R ed sk in s.

And, ju st lik e e v ery body e ls e , In dia n s n eed h ero es to h elp th em le arn h ow to s u rv iv e. B ut w hat h ap pen s w hen o ur h ero es don’t e v en k now h ow t o p ay t h eir b ills ?

“S hit, A dria n ,” I s a id . “ H e’s j u st a k id .” “A in ’t n o c h ild re n o n a r e se rv atio n.” “Y eah , y eah , I ’v e h eard th at b efo re . W ell,” I s a id . “ I g uess th at J u liu s i s p re tty g ood i n s c h ool, t o o.” “A nd?” “A nd h e w an ts t o m ay be g o t o c o lle g e.” “R eally ?” “R eally ,” I s a id a n d la u ghed . A nd I la u ghed b ecau se h alf o f me w as h ap py a n d h alf o f m e w asn ’t s u re w hat e ls e t o d o.

A y ear la te r, A dria n a n d I sa t o n th e sa m e p orc h in th e sa m e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" ch air s . W e’d d one th in gs in b etw een , lik e a te a n d s le p t a n d r e ad th e n ew sp ap er. I t w as a n oth er h ot s u m mer. T hen a g ain , s u m mer is s u ppose d t o b e h ot.

“I’m t h ir s ty ,” A dria n s a id . “ G iv e m e a b eer.” “H ow m an y tim es d o I h av e to te ll y ou? W e d on’t d rin k an ym ore .” “S hit,” A dria n s a id . “ I k eep f o rg ettin g. G iv e m e a g oddam n Pep si.” “T hat’ s a w hole c ase f o r y ou t o day a lr e ad y.” “Y eah , y eah , f u ck t h ese s u bstitu te a d dic tio ns.” We sa t th ere fo r a fe w m in ute s, hours , an d th en Ju liu s Win dm ak er s ta g gere d d ow n t h e r o ad .

“O h, lo ok at th at,” A dria n sa id . “N ot ev en tw o in th e afte rn oon a n d h e’s d ru nk a s a s k unk.” “D on’t h e h av e a g am e t o nig ht? ” “Y eah , h e d oes.” “W ell, I h ope h e s o bers u p i n t im e.” “M e, t o o.” I’d o nly p la y ed o ne g am e d ru nk a n d it w as in a n a ll- In dia n bask etb all to urn am en t a fte r I g ot o ut o f h ig h sc h ool. I’d b een drin kin g th e n ig ht b efo re a n d w oke u p f e elin g k in d o f s ic k , s o I got dru nk ag ain . T hen I w en t out an d pla y ed a gam e. I fe lt dis c o nnecte d th e w hole tim e. N oth in g s e em ed to fit rig ht. E ven "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" my s h oes, w hic h h ad f it p erfe ctly b efo re , f e lt t o o b ig f o r m y f e et.

I c o uld n’t e v en s e e th e b ask etb all o r b ask et c le arly . T hey w ere more lik e id eas. I m ean , I knew w here th ey w ere gen era lly su ppose d to b e, s o I g uesse d a t w here I s h ould b e. S om eh ow o r an oth er, I s c o re d t e n p oin ts .

“H e’s b een d rin kin g q uite a b it, e n it? ” A dria n a sk ed .

“Y eah , I h ear h e’s e v en b een d rin kin g S te rn o.” “S hit, t h at’ ll k ill h is b ra in q uic k er t h an s h it.” Adria n a n d I le ft th e p orc h th at n ig ht a n d w en t to th e tr ib al sc h ool to w atc h J u liu s p la y. H e s till lo oked g ood in h is u nif o rm , alth ough h e w as a little p uff y aro und th e ed ges. B ut h e ju st wasn ’t t h e b allp la y er w e a ll r e m em bere d o r e x pecte d . H e m is se d sh ots , tr a v ele d , th re w d um b p asse s th at w e a ll k new w ere d um b passe s. B y th e f o urth q uarte r, J u liu s s a t a t th e e n d o f th e b en ch , han gin g h is h ead , a n d t h e c ro w d f ile d o ut, a ll t a lk in g a b out w hic h of th e y ounger p la y ers lo oked g ood. W e ta lk ed a b out s o m e k id nam ed L ucy in th e th ir d g ra d e w ho a lr e ad y h ad a n ic e m ove o r tw o.

Every body t o ld t h eir f a v orite J u liu s W in dm ak er s to rie s, t o o.

Tim es lik e th at, o n a re se rv atio n, a b ask etb all g am e fe lt lik e a fu nera l a n d w ak e a ll r o lle d u p t o geth er.

Back a t h om e, o n th e p orc h , A dria n a n d I sa t w ra p ped in sh aw ls b ecau se t h e e v en in g w as k in d o f c o ld .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “It’s t o o b ad , t o o b ad ,” I s a id . “ I t h ought J u liu s m ig ht b e t h e one t o m ak e i t a ll t h e w ay .” “I t o ld y ou h e w ould n’t. I t o ld y ou s o .” “Y eah , y eah . D on’t r u b i t i n .” We s a t th ere in s ile n ce a n d re m em bere d a ll o f o ur h ero es, ballp la y ers f ro m s e v en g en era tio ns, a ll th e w ay b ack . I t h urts to lo se an y of th em becau se In dia n s kin d of se e ballp la y ers as sa v io rs . I m ean , if b ask etb all w ould h av e b een a ro und, I ’m s u re Je su s C hris t w ould ’v e b een th e b est p oin t g uard in N azare th .

Pro bab ly t h e b est p la y er i n t h e e n tir e w orld . A nd i n t h e b ey ond. I ju st c an ’t e x pla in h ow m uch l o sin g J u liu s W in dm ak er h urt u s a ll.

“W ell,” A dria n a sk ed . “ W hat d o y ou w an t t o d o t o m orro w ?” “D on’t k now .” “S hit, t h at d am n t r a ffic s ig nal i s s till b ro ken . L ook.” Adria n p oin te d d ow n th e r o ad a n d h e w as r ig ht. B ut w hat’s th e p oin t o f fix in g it in a p la ce w here th e ST O P sig ns a re ju st su ggestio ns?

“W hat t im e i s i t? ” A dria n a sk ed .

“I d on’t k now . T en , I t h in k.” “L et’ s g o s o m ew here .” “W here ?” “I d on’t k now , S pokan e, a n yw here . L et’ s j u st g o.” “O kay,” I s a id , a n d w e b oth w alk ed in sid e th e h ouse , s h ut "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" th e d oor, a n d l o ck ed i t t ig ht. N o. W e l e ft i t o pen j u st a l ittle b it i n case so m e cra zy In dia n need ed a pla ce to sle ep . A nd in th e morn in g w e fo und c ra zy Ju liu s p asse d o ut o n th e liv in g ro om carp et.

“H ey , y ou b um ,” A dria n y elle d . “ G et o ff m y f lo or.” “T his i s m y h ouse , A dria n ,” I s a id .

“T hat’s rig ht. I fo rg ot. H ey, you bum , get your ass off Vic to r’s f lo or.” Ju liu s g ro an ed a n d fa rte d b ut h e d id n’t w ak e u p. It re ally did n’t b oth er A dria n th at J u liu s w as o n th e f lo or, s o h e th re w a n old b la n ket o n to p o f h im . A dria n a n d I g ra b bed o ur m orn in g co ff e e a n d w en t b ack o ut to s it o n th e p orc h . W e h ad b oth ju st ab out f in is h ed o ur c u ps w hen a g ro up o f I n dia n k id s w alk ed b y, all h old in g b ask etb alls o f v ario us s h ap es a n d c o nditio ns.

“H ey , l o ok,” A dria n s a id . “ A in ’t t h at t h e L ucy g ir l? ” I sa w th at it w as, a little b ro w n g ir l w ith sc arre d k nees, wearin g h er d ad dy’s s h ir t.

“Y eah , t h at’ s h er,” I s a id .

“I h eard sh e’s so g ood th at sh e p la y s fo r th e six th g ra d e boys t e am .” “R eally ? S he’s o nly i n t h ir d g ra d e h ers e lf , i s n ’t s h e?” “Y eah , y eah , s h e’s a l ittle w arrio r.” Adria n a n d I w atc h ed th ose In dia n c h ild re n w alk d ow n th e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" ro ad , w alk in g t o w ard a n oth er b ask etb all g am e.

“G od, I h ope s h e m ak es i t a ll t h e w ay ,” I s a id .

“Y eah , y eah ,” A dria n s a id , s ta re d i n to t h e b otto m o f h is c u p, an d th en th re w it a cro ss th e y ard . A nd w e b oth w atc h ed it w ith all o f o ur ey es, w hile th e su n ro se str a ig ht u p ab ove u s an d se ttle d dow n beh in d th e house , w atc h ed th at cu p re v olv e, re v olv e, u ntil i t c am e d ow n w hole t o t h e g ro und.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" AM USE M EN TS I l o w er a f r a yed r o pe i n to t h e d ep th s a nd h ois t th e s a m e o ld I n dia n t e a rs t o m y e yes. T he l iq uid i s p ure a nd ir re sis tib le .

—Adria n C . L ouis A FT ER S U M MER H EAT a n d to o m uch c o at- p ock et w his k ey, D ir ty J o e p asse d o ut o n th e w orn g ra ss o f th e c arn iv al m id w ay a n d S ad ie a n d I s to od o ver h im , lo oked d ow n a t h is f la t f a ce, a m ap f o r a ll th e w ars h e fo ught in th e In dia n b ars . D ir ty J o e w as n o w arrio r in th e o ld s e n se . H e g ot h is n am e b ecau se h e c ru is e d th e t a v ern s at clo sin g tim e, d ra n k all th e h alf -e m ptie s an d n ev er c are d w ho m ig ht h av e l e ft t h em t h ere .

“W hat t h e h ell d o w e d o w ith h im ?” I a sk ed S ad ie .

“A h, V ic to r, l e t’ s l e av e t h e o ld b asta rd h ere ,” S ad ie s a id , b ut w e b oth k new w e c o uld n’t l e av e a n oth er I n dia n p asse d o ut i n t h e m id dle o f a w hite c arn iv al. T hen a g ain , w e d id n’t w an t to c arry h is te m pora rily d ead b ody to w here v er it w as w e w ere h ead ed n ex t.

“W e l e av e h im h ere a n d h e’s g oin g t o j a il f o r s u re ,” I s a id .

“M ay be th e d ru nk ta n k w ill d o h im s o m e g ood,” s h e s a id , " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" sa t d ow n h ard o n th e g ra ss, h er h air fa llin g o ut o f th e b ra id . A cen tu ry a g o s h e m ig ht h av e b een b eau tif u l, h er f a ce r e fle cte d in th e r iv er i n ste ad o f a m ir ro r. B ut a ll t h e y ears h av e c h an ged m ore th an th e s h ap e o f o ur b lo od a n d e y es. W e w ear fe ar n ow lik e a tu rq uois e c h oker, l ik e a f a m ilia r s h aw l.

We sa t th ere b esid e D ir ty Jo e an d w atc h ed all th e w hite to uris ts w atc h u s, la u gh, p oin t a fin ger, th eir fa ces tw is te d w ith hate an d d is g ust. I w as afra id o f all o f th em , w an te d to h id e beh in d m y I n dia n t e eth , t h e q uic k j o ke.

“S hit,” I sa id . “ W e sh ould b e c h arg in g a d m is sio n fo r th is sh ow .” “Y eah , a q uarte r a h ead a n d w e’d b e d rin kin g C oors L ig ht fo r a w eek .” “F or t h e r e st o f o ur l iv es, e n it? ” Afte r a w hile I sta rte d to a g re e w ith S ad ie a b out le av in g Dir ty J o e to th e b ro om a n d d ustp an . I w as ju st a b out to s ta n d u p when I h eard a s c re am b eh in d m e, tu rn ed q uic k to f in d o ut w hat th e h ell w as g oin g o n, a n d sa w th e re aso n: a m in ia tu re ro lle r co aste r c alle d t h e S ta llio n.

“S ad ie ,” I s a id . “ L et’ s p ut h im o n t h e r o lle r c o aste r.” She s m ile d fo r th e fir s t tim e in fo ur o r fiv e h undre d y ears an d g ot t o h er f e et.

“T hat’s a r e al s h itty t h in g t o d o,” s h e s a id , l a u ghed , g ra b bed "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" his a rm s w hile I g ot h is le g s, a n d w e c arrie d h im o ver to th e Sta llio n.

“H ey,” I a sk ed t h e c arn y. “ I’ll g iv e y ou t w en ty b uck s i f y ou le t m y c o usin h ere r id e t h is t h in g a ll d ay .” The carn y lo oked at m e, at D ir ty Jo e, back at m e an d sm ile d .

“H e’s d ru nk a s a s k unk. H e m ig ht g et h urt.” “S hit,” I s a id . “ In dia n s a in ’t a fra id o f a l ittle g ra v ity .” “O h, h ell,” t h e c arn y s a id . “ W hy n ot? ” We lo ad ed D ir ty Jo e in to th e la st car an d ch eck ed his pock ets fo r an yth in g pote n tia lly le th al. N oth in g. S ad ie an d I sto od th ere a n d w atc h ed D ir ty J o e rid e a fe w tim es a ro und th e cir c le , h is h ead ro llin g fro m sid e to sid e, b ack an d fo rth . H e lo oked l ik e a n o ld b la n ket w e g av e a w ay .

“O h, J e su s, J e su s,” S ad ie s c re am ed , la u ghed . S he le an ed o n my s h ould er a n d l a u ghed u ntil t e ars f e ll. I l o oked a ro und a n d s a w a c ro w d h ad g ath ere d a n d jo in ed in o n th e la u ghte r. T w en ty o r th ir ty w hite f a ces, o pen m outh s g ro w n l a rg e a n d d eafe n in g, w id e ey es tu rn ed to w ard S ad ie a n d m e. T hey w ere ju ry a n d ju dge f o r th e tw en tie th -c en tu ry fa n cy dan ce of th ese co urt je ste rs w ho would p our T hunderb ir d w in e i n to t h e H oly G ra il.

“S ad ie , I t h in k w e b ette r g et o ut o f h ere .” “O h, s h it,” s h e s a id , r e aliz in g w hat w e h ad d one. “ L et’ s g o.” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “W ait, w e h av e t o g et D ir ty J o e.” “W e a in ’t g ot tim e,” s h e s a id a n d p ulle d m e a w ay f ro m th e cro w d. W e w alk ed fa st an d did our best to be an yth in g but In dia n . T w o little re d head ed b oys ra n b y, m ad e In dia n n ois e s with t h eir m outh s, a n d a s I t u rn ed t o w atc h t h em , o ne p oin te d h is fin ger a t m e a n d s h ot.

“B an g,” h e y elle d . “ Y ou’re d ead , I n dia n .” I l o oked b ack o ver t o t h e S ta llio n, w atc h ed D ir ty J o e r e g ain co nsc io usn ess an d lif t his head an d se arc h fo r so m eth in g fa m ilia r.

“S ad ie , h e’s a w ak e. W e g ot t o g o g et h im .” “G o g et h im y ours e lf ,” s h e s a id a n d w alk ed a w ay f ro m m e. I watc h ed h er m ove a g ain st t h e c ro w d, t h e o nly p ers o n n ot r u nnin g to s e e th e d ru nk I n dia n r id in g th e S ta llio n. I tu rn ed b ack in tim e to w atc h D ir ty J o e s tu m ble f ro m t h e r o lle r c o aste r a n d e m pty h is sto m ach o n th e p la tf o rm . T he c arn y y elle d s o m eth in g I c o uld n’t hear, p ush ed D ir ty J o e f ro m b eh in d, a n d s e n t h im t u m blin g d ow n th e s ta ir s f a ce-fir s t i n to t h e g ra ss.

The c ro w d f o rm ed a c ir c le a ro und D ir ty J o e; s o m e t h in m an in a b ig h at c o unte d lik e D ir ty J o e w as a fig hte r o n th e c an vas.

Tw o s e cu rity g uard s p ush ed t h ro ugh t h e p eo ple , u sin g t h eir b illy clu bs fo r le v era g e. O ne k nelt d ow n b esid e D ir ty Jo e w hile th e oth er sp oke to th e carn y. T he carn y w av ed his arm s w ild ly , "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" ex pla in ed h is p ositio n, an d th ey b oth tu rn ed to w ard m e. T he carn y p oin te d , a lth ough h e d id n’t h av e to , a n d th e g uard ju m ped off t h e p la tf o rm .

“O kay, ch ie f,” he yelle d . “G et your ass over here .” I back ped ale d , t u rn ed a n d r a n , a n d c o uld h ear t h e g uard b eh in d m e as I ra n d ow n th e m id w ay, p ast a su rp ris e d c arn y in to th e fu n house w here I stu m ble d th ro ugh a re v olv in g tu nnel, ju m ped a ra ilin g, ra n th ro ugh a cu rta in , an d fo und m yse lf sta rin g at a th re e-fo ot- ta ll r e fle ctio n.

Cra zy m ir ro rs , I th ought a s th e s e cu rity g uard f e ll f ro m th e tu nnel, c lim bed to h is fe et, a n d p ulle d h is b illy c lu b fro m h is belt.

Cra zy m ir ro rs , I t h ought, t h e k in d t h at d is to rt y our f e atu re s, mak e y ou fa tte r, th in ner, ta lle r, sh orte r. T he k in d th at m ak e a white m an re m em ber h e’s th e m aste r o f cere m onie s, b ark in g ab out th e F at L ad y, th e D og-F aced B oy, th e I n dia n w ho o ff e re d up a n oth er I n dia n l ik e s o m e t r e aty .

Cra zy m ir ro rs , I t h ought, t h e k in d t h at c an n ev er c h an ge t h e dark o f y our e y es a n d th e fo ld in g s h ut o f th e g ood p art o f y our past.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" T H IS I S W HAT I T M EA NS TO S A Y P H OEN IX , ARIZ O NA J U ST A FT ER V IC TO R L O ST h is j o b a t t h e B IA , h e a ls o f o und o ut t h at h is f a th er h ad d ie d o f a h eart a tta ck in P hoen ix , A riz o na. V ic to r h ad n’t s e en h is f a th er in a f e w y ears , o nly ta lk ed to h im o n th e t e le p hone o nce o r t w ic e, b ut t h ere s till w as a g en etic p ain , w hic h w as s o on t o b e p ain a s r e al a n d i m med ia te a s a b ro ken b one.

Vic to r d id n’t h av e a n y m oney. W ho d oes h av e m oney o n a r e se rv atio n, e x cep t th e c ig are tte a n d fir e w ork s s a le sp eo ple ? H is f a th er h ad a s a v in gs a cco unt w aitin g to b e c la im ed , b ut V ic to r n eed ed t o f in d a w ay t o g et t o P hoen ix . V ic to r’s m oth er w as j u st a s p oor a s h e w as, a n d th e r e st o f h is f a m ily d id n’t h av e a n y u se a t a ll f o r h im . S o V ic to r c alle d t h e T rib al C ouncil.

“L is te n ,” V ic to r sa id . “M y fa th er ju st d ie d . I n eed so m e m oney t o g et t o P hoen ix t o m ak e a rra n gem en ts .” “N ow , V ic to r,” th e c o uncil s a id . “ Y ou k now w e’re h av in g a d if fic u lt t im e f in an cia lly .” “B ut I th ought th e c o uncil h ad sp ecia l fu nds se t a sid e fo r s tu ff l ik e t h is .” " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" “N ow , V ic to r, w e d o h av e so m e m oney av aila b le fo r th e pro per re tu rn o f tr ib al m em bers ’ b odie s. B ut I d on’t th in k w e hav e en ough to brin g your fa th er all th e w ay back fro m Phoen ix .” “W ell,” V ic to r s a id . “ It a in ’t g oin g t o c o st a ll t h at m uch . H e had t o b e c re m ate d . T hin gs w ere k in d o f u gly . H e d ie d o f a h eart atta ck in h is tr a ile r a n d n obody fo und h im fo r a w eek . It w as re ally h ot, t o o. Y ou g et t h e p ic tu re .” “N ow , Vic to r, we’re so rry fo r your lo ss an d th e cir c u m sta n ces. B ut w e c an re ally o nly a ff o rd to g iv e y ou o ne hundre d d olla rs .” “T hat’ s n ot e v en e n ough f o r a p la n e t ic k et.” “W ell, y ou m ig ht c o nsid er d riv in g d ow n t o P hoen ix .” “I don’t hav e a car. B esid es, I w as goin g to driv e m y fa th er’s p ic k up b ack u p h ere .” “N ow , V ic to r,” th e co uncil sa id . “W e’re su re th ere is so m eb ody w ho c o uld d riv e y ou t o P hoen ix . O r i s t h ere s o m eb ody who c o uld l e n d y ou t h e r e st o f t h e m oney ?” “Y ou know th ere ain ’t nobody aro und w ith th at kin d of money .” “W ell, w e’re s o rry , V ic to r, b ut t h at’ s t h e b est w e c an d o.” Vic to r a ccep te d th e T rib al C ouncil’s o ff e r. W hat e ls e c o uld he d o? S o h e s ig ned th e p ro per p ap ers , p ic k ed u p h is c h eck , a n d "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" walk ed o ver t o t h e T ra d in g P ost t o c ash i t.

While V ic to r s to od in lin e, h e w atc h ed T hom as B uild s-th e- Fir e s ta n din g n ear t h e m ag azin e r a ck , t a lk in g t o h im se lf . L ik e h e alw ay s did . T hom as w as a sto ry te lle r th at nobody w an te d to lis te n to . T hat’s lik e b ein g a d en tis t in a to w n w here e v ery body has f a ls e t e eth .

Vic to r a n d T hom as B uild s-th e-F ir e w ere th e s a m e a g e, h ad gro w n u p a n d p la y ed i n t h e d ir t t o geth er. E ver s in ce V ic to r c o uld re m em ber, i t w as T hom as w ho a lw ay s h ad s o m eth in g t o s a y .

Once, w hen t h ey w ere s e v en y ears o ld , w hen V ic to r’s f a th er still liv ed w ith th e fa m ily , T hom as clo se d his ey es an d to ld Vic to r t h is s to ry : “ Y our f a th er’s h eart i s w eak . H e i s a fra id o f h is ow n f a m ily . H e i s a fra id o f y ou. L ate a t n ig ht h e s its i n t h e d ark .

Watc h es t h e t e le v is io n u ntil t h ere ’s n oth in g b ut t h at w hite n ois e .

Som etim es h e fe els lik e h e w an ts to b uy a m oto rc y cle a n d rid e aw ay . H e w an ts t o r u n a n d h id e. H e d oesn ’t w an t t o b e f o und.” Thom as B uild s-th e-F ir e h ad k now n th at V ic to r’s f a th er w as goin g to le av e, k new it b efo re a n yone. N ow V ic to r s to od in th e Tra d in g Post w ith a one-h undre d -d olla r ch eck in his han d, wonderin g if T hom as k new th at V ic to r’s fa th er w as d ead , if h e knew w hat w as g oin g t o h ap pen n ex t.

Ju st t h en T hom as l o oked a t V ic to r, s m ile d , a n d w alk ed o ver to h im .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “V ic to r, I ’m s o rry a b out y our f a th er,” T hom as s a id .

“H ow d id y ou k now a b out i t? ” V ic to r a sk ed .

“I h eard it o n th e w in d. I h eard it f ro m th e b ir d s. I f e lt it in th e s u nlig ht. A ls o , y our m oth er w as j u st i n h ere c ry in g.” “O h,” V ic to r s a id a n d lo oked a ro und th e T ra d in g P ost. A ll th e o th er I n dia n s s ta re d , s u rp ris e d t h at V ic to r w as e v en t a lk in g t o Thom as. N obody ta lk ed to T hom as a n ym ore b ecau se h e to ld th e sa m e d am n s to rie s o ver a n d o ver a g ain . V ic to r w as e m barra sse d , but h e t h ought t h at T hom as m ig ht b e a b le t o h elp h im . V ic to r f e lt a s u dden n eed f o r t r a d itio n.

“I can le n d you th e m oney you need ,” Thom as sa id su dden ly . “ B ut y ou h av e t o t a k e m e w ith y ou.” “I c an ’t ta k e y our m oney,” V ic to r s a id . “ I m ean , I h av en ’t hard ly t a lk ed t o y ou i n y ears . W e’re n ot r e ally f rie n ds a n ym ore .” “I d id n’t s a y w e w ere f rie n ds. I s a id y ou h ad t o t a k e m e w ith you.” “L et m e t h in k a b out i t.” Vic to r w en t h om e w ith h is o ne h undre d d olla rs a n d s a t a t th e k itc h en ta b le . H e h eld h is h ead in h is h an ds an d th ought ab out T hom as B uild s-th e-F ir e , re m em bere d little d eta ils , te ars an d s c ars , t h e b ic y cle t h ey s h are d f o r a s u m mer, s o m an y s to rie s.

Thom as B uild s-th e-F ir e sa t o n th e b ic y cle , w aite d in V ic to r’s "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" yard . H e w as t e n y ears o ld a n d s k in ny. H is h air w as d ir ty b ecau se it w as t h e F ourth o f J u ly .

“V ic to r,” T hom as y elle d . “ H urry u p. W e’re g oin g to m is s th e f ir e w ork s.” Afte r a f e w m in ute s, V ic to r r a n o ut o f h is h ouse , j u m ped t h e porc h r a ilin g, a n d l a n ded g ra cefu lly o n t h e s id ew alk .

“A nd th e ju dges a w ard h im a 9 .9 5, th e h ig hest s c o re o f th e su m mer,” T hom as s a id , c la p ped , l a u ghed .

“T hat w as p erfe ct, c o usin ,” V ic to r s a id . “ A nd i t’s m y t u rn t o rid e t h e b ik e.” Thom as gav e up th e bik e an d th ey head ed fo r th e fa irg ro unds. It w as n early d ark a n d th e fir e w ork s w ere a b out to sta rt.

“Y ou know ,” T hom as sa id . “It’s str a n ge how us In dia n s cele b ra te t h e F ourth o f J u ly . I t a in ’t l ik e i t w as o ur i n dep en den ce ev ery body w as f ig htin g f o r.” “Y ou th in k a b out th in gs to o m uch ,” V ic to r s a id . “ It’s ju st su ppose d t o b e f u n. M ay be J u nio r w ill b e t h ere .” “W hic h Ju nio r? E very body on th is re se rv atio n is nam ed Ju nio r.” And t h ey b oth l a u ghed .

The fir e w ork s w ere sm all, h ard ly m ore th an a fe w b ottle ro ck ets a n d a fo unta in . B ut it w as e n ough fo r tw o In dia n b oys.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Years l a te r, t h ey w ould n eed m uch m ore .

Afte rw ard s, sittin g in th e dark , fig htin g off m osq uito es, Vic to r t u rn ed t o T hom as B uild s-th e-F ir e .

“H ey ,” V ic to r s a id . “ T ell m e a s to ry .” Thom as clo se d h is ey es an d to ld th is sto ry : “T here w ere th ese tw o I n dia n b oys w ho w an te d to b e w arrio rs . B ut it w as to o la te to b e w arrio rs in th e o ld w ay. A ll th e h ors e s w ere g one. S o th e t w o I n dia n b oys s to le a c ar a n d d ro ve t o t h e c ity . T hey p ark ed th e s to le n c ar in fro nt o f th e p olic e s ta tio n a n d th en h itc h hik ed back hom e to th e re se rv atio n. W hen th ey got back , all th eir frie n ds ch eere d an d th eir p are n ts ’ ey es sh one w ith p rid e. You were very bra ve , ev ery body sa id to th e tw o In dia n b oys. Very bra ve .” “Y a-h ey,” V ic to r s a id . “ T hat’s a g ood o ne. I w is h I c o uld b e a w arrio r.” “M e, t o o,” T hom as s a id .

They w en t h om e to geth er in th e d ark , T hom as o n th e b ik e now , V ic to r o n fo ot. T hey w alk ed th ro ugh sh ad ow s an d lig ht fro m s tr e etla m ps.

“W e’v e co m e a lo ng w ay s,” Thom as sa id . “W e hav e outd oor l ig htin g.” “A ll I n eed i s t h e s ta rs ,” V ic to r s a id . “ A nd b esid es, y ou s till th in k a b out t h in gs t o o m uch .” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" They s e p ara te d th en , e ach h ead ed fo r h om e, b oth la u ghin g all t h e w ay .

Vic to r sa t at his kitc h en ta b le . H e co unte d his one hundre d dolla rs a g ain a n d a g ain . H e k new h e n eed ed m ore to m ak e it to Phoen ix a n d b ack . H e k new h e n eed ed T hom as B uild s-th e-F ir e .

So h e p ut h is m oney in h is w alle t a n d o pen ed th e fro nt d oor to fin d T hom as o n t h e p orc h .

“Y a-h ey , V ic to r,” T hom as s a id . “ I k new y ou’d c all m e.” Thom as w alk ed in to th e liv in g ro om an d sa t dow n on Vic to r’s f a v orite c h air .

“I’v e g ot s o m e m oney s a v ed u p,” T hom as s a id . “ It’s e n ough to g et u s d ow n t h ere , b ut y ou h av e t o g et u s b ack .” “I’v e g ot th is h undre d d olla rs ,” V ic to r s a id . “ A nd m y d ad had a s a v in gs a cco unt I ’m g oin g t o c la im .” “H ow m uch i n y our d ad ’s a cco unt? ” “E nough. A f e w h undre d .” “S ounds g ood. W hen w e l e av in g?” When t h ey w ere f if te en a n d h ad l o ng s in ce s to pped b ein g f rie n ds, Vic to r a n d T hom as g ot i n to a f is tf ig ht. T hat i s , V ic to r w as r e ally dru nk a n d b eat T hom as u p fo r n o re aso n a t a ll. A ll th e o th er In dia n b oys sto od aro und an d w atc h ed it h ap pen . Ju nio r w as th ere an d so w ere L este r, S ey m our, an d a lo t o f o th ers . T he "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" beatin g m ig ht h av e g one o n u ntil T hom as w as d ead if N orm a Man y H ors e s h ad n’t c o m e a lo ng a n d s to pped i t.

“H ey, y ou b oys,” N orm a y elle d a n d ju m ped o ut o f h er c ar.

“L eav e h im a lo ne.” If it h ad b een s o m eo ne e ls e , e v en a n oth er m an , th e In dia n boys w ould ’v e ju st ig nore d th e w arn in gs. B ut N orm a w as a warrio r. S he w as p ow erfu l. S he c o uld h av e p ic k ed u p a n y t w o o f th e b oys a n d s m ash ed th eir s k ulls to geth er. B ut w ors e th an th at, sh e w ould h av e d ra g ged th em a ll o ver to so m e tip i a n d m ad e th em l is te n t o s o m e e ld er t e ll a d usty o ld s to ry .

The In dia n boys sc atte re d , an d N orm a w alk ed over to Thom as a n d p ic k ed h im u p.

“H ey , l ittle m an , a re y ou o kay ?” s h e a sk ed .

Thom as g av e h er a t h um bs u p.

“W hy t h ey a lw ay s p ic k in g o n y ou?” Thom as s h ook h is h ead , c lo se d h is e y es, b ut n o s to rie s c am e to h im , n o w ord s o r m usic . H e ju st w an te d to g o h om e, to lie in his b ed a n d l e t h is d re am s t e ll h is s to rie s f o r h im .

Thom as B uild s-th e-F ir e a n d V ic to r s a t n ex t to e ach o th er in th e air p la n e, co ach se ctio n. A tin y w hite w om an h ad th e w in dow se at. S he w as busy tw is tin g her body in to pre tz els . S he w as fle x ib le .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “I h av e to a sk ,” T hom as s a id , a n d V ic to r c lo se d h is e y es in em barra ssm en t.

“D on’t,” V ic to r s a id .

“E xcu se m e, m is s,” T hom as a sk ed . “ A re y ou a g ym nast o r so m eth in g?” “T here ’s no so m eth in g ab out it,” sh e sa id . “I w as fir s t alte rn ate o n t h e 1 980 O ly m pic t e am .” “R eally ?” T hom as a sk ed .

“R eally .” “I m ean , y ou u se d to b e a w orld -c la ss ath le te ?” T hom as ask ed .

“M y h usb an d s till t h in ks I a m .” Thom as B uild s-th e-F ir e s m ile d . S he w as a m en ta l g ym nast, to o. S he p ulle d h er le g s tr a ig ht u p a g ain st h er b ody s o th at s h e co uld ’v e k is se d h er k neecap .

“I w is h I c o uld d o t h at,” T hom as s a id .

Vic to r w as re ad y to ju m p o ut o f th e p la n e. T hom as, th at cra zy In dia n sto ry te lle r w ith ra tty o ld b ra id s a n d b ro ken te eth , was flir tin g w ith a b eau tif u l O ly m pic g ym nast. N obody b ack hom e o n t h e r e se rv atio n w ould e v er b elie v e i t.

“W ell,” t h e g ym nast s a id . “ It’ s e asy . T ry i t.” Thom as g ra b bed a t h is le g a n d tr ie d to p ull it u p in to th e sa m e p ositio n as th e g ym nast. H e co uld n’t ev en co m e clo se , "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" whic h m ad e V ic to r a n d t h e g ym nast l a u gh.

“H ey ,” s h e a sk ed . “ Y ou t w o a re I n dia n , r ig ht? ” “F ull- b lo od,” V ic to r s a id .

“N ot m e,” T hom as s a id . “ I’m h alf m ag ic ia n o n m y m oth er’s sid e a n d h alf c lo w n o n m y f a th er’s .” They a ll l a u ghed .

“W hat a re y our n am es? ” s h e a sk ed .

“V ic to r a n d T hom as.” “M in e i s C ath y. P le ase d t o m eet y ou a ll.” The t h re e o f t h em t a lk ed f o r t h e d ura tio n o f t h e f lig ht. C ath y th e gym nast co m pla in ed ab out th e govern m en t, how th ey sc re w ed t h e 1 980 O ly m pic t e am b y b oyco ttin g.

“S ounds lik e y ou a ll g ot a lo t in c o m mon w ith In dia n s,” Thom as s a id .

Nobody l a u ghed .

Afte r th e p la n e la n ded in P hoen ix a n d th ey h ad a ll fo und th eir w ay to th e te rm in al, C ath y th e g ym nast s m ile d a n d w av ed good-b ye.

“S he w as r e ally n ic e,” T hom as s a id .

“Y eah , but ev ery body ta lk s to ev ery body on air p la n es,” Vic to r s a id . “ It’ s t o o b ad w e c an ’t a lw ay s b e t h at w ay .” “Y ou a lw ay s u se d to te ll m e I th in k to o m uch ,” T hom as sa id . “ N ow i t s o unds l ik e y ou d o.” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “M ay be I c au ght i t f ro m y ou.” “Y eah .” Thom as an d V ic to r ro de in a ta x i to th e tr a ile r w here Vic to r’s f a th er d ie d .

“L is te n ,” V ic to r s a id a s th ey s to pped in f ro nt o f th e tr a ile r.

“I n ev er t o ld y ou I w as s o rry f o r b eatin g y ou u p t h at t im e.” “O h, it w as noth in g. W e w ere ju st kid s an d you w ere dru nk.” “Y eah , b ut I ’m s till s o rry .” “T hat’ s a ll r ig ht.” Vic to r p aid f o r t h e t a x i a n d t h e t w o o f t h em s to od i n t h e h ot Phoen ix s u m mer. T hey c o uld s m ell t h e t r a ile r.

“T his a in ’t g oin g to b e n ic e,” V ic to r s a id . “ Y ou d on’t h av e to g o i n .” “Y ou’re g oin g t o n eed h elp .” Vic to r w alk ed to th e fro nt d oor a n d o pen ed it. T he stin k ro lle d o ut a n d m ad e th em b oth g ag . V ic to r’s fa th er h ad la in in th at tr a ile r fo r a w eek in h undre d -d eg re e te m pera tu re s b efo re an yone fo und h im . A nd th e o nly re aso n a n yone fo und h im w as becau se o f t h e s m ell. T hey n eed ed d en ta l r e co rd s t o i d en tif y h im .

That’s ex actly w hat th e co ro ner sa id . They need ed den ta l re co rd s.

“O h, m an ,” V ic to r s a id . “ I d on’t k now i f I c an d o t h is .” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “W ell, t h en d on’t.” “B ut t h ere m ig ht b e s o m eth in g v alu ab le i n t h ere .” “I t h ought h is m oney w as i n t h e b an k.” “It is . I w as ta lk in g a b out p ic tu re s a n d le tte rs a n d s tu ff lik e th at.” “O h,” T hom as sa id as he held his bre ath an d fo llo w ed Vic to r i n to t h e t r a ile r.

When V ic to r w as tw elv e, h e s te p ped in to a n u nderg ro und w asp nest. H is f o ot w as c au ght i n t h e h ole , a n d n o m atte r h ow h ard h e str u ggle d , V ic to r c o uld n’t p ull fre e. H e m ig ht h av e d ie d th ere , stu ng a th ousa n d tim es, if T hom as B uild s-th e-F ir e h ad n ot c o m e by.

“R un,” T hom as y elle d an d p ulle d V ic to r’s fo ot fro m th e hole . T hey ra n th en , h ard as th ey ev er h ad , fa ste r th an B illy Mills , f a ste r t h an J im T horp e, f a ste r t h an t h e w asp s c o uld f ly .

Vic to r a n d T hom as r a n u ntil t h ey c o uld n’t b re ath e, r a n u ntil it w as c o ld a n d d ark o uts id e, r a n u ntil th ey w ere lo st a n d it to ok hours to f in d th eir w ay h om e. A ll th e w ay b ack , V ic to r c o unte d his s tin gs.

“S ev en ,” V ic to r s a id . “ M y l u ck y n um ber.” Vic to r d id n’t fin d m uch to k eep in th e tr a ile r. O nly a p hoto alb um a n d a s te re o . E very th in g e ls e h ad th at s m ell s tu ck in it o r "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" was u se le ss a n yw ay .

“I g uess t h is i s a ll,” V ic to r s a id . “ It a in ’t m uch .” “B ette r t h an n oth in g,” T hom as s a id .

“Y eah , a n d I d o h av e t h e p ic k up.” “Y eah ,” T hom as s a id . “ It’ s i n g ood s h ap e.” “D ad w as g ood a b out t h at s tu ff.” “Y eah , I r e m em ber y our d ad .” “R eally ?” V ic to r a sk ed . “ W hat d o y ou r e m em ber? ” Thom as B uild s-th e-F ir e c lo se d h is e y es a n d to ld th is s to ry :

“I re m em ber w hen I had th is dre am th at to ld m e to go to Spokan e, to s ta n d b y th e F alls in th e m id dle o f th e c ity a n d w ait fo r a s ig n. I k new I h ad t o g o t h ere b ut I d id n’t h av e a c ar. D id n’t hav e a l ic en se . I w as o nly t h ir te en . S o I w alk ed a ll t h e w ay, t o ok me a ll d ay, a n d I f in ally m ad e i t t o t h e F alls . I s to od t h ere f o r a n hour w aitin g. T hen y our d ad c am e w alk in g u p. What th e h ell a re yo u d oin g h ere ?

h e a sk ed m e. I s a id , Waitin g fo r a v is io n . T hen your fa th er sa id , All y o u’re g oin g to g et h ere is m ugged . S o h e dro ve m e o ver t o D en ny’s , b ought m e d in ner, a n d t h en d ro ve m e hom e to th e re se rv atio n. F or a lo ng tim e I w as m ad b ecau se I th ought m y d re am s h ad l ie d t o m e. B ut t h ey d id n’t. Y our d ad w as my vis io n. Ta ke ca re o f ea ch o th er is w hat m y d re am s w ere sa y in g. Take c a re o f e a ch o th er .” Vic to r w as q uie t f o r a lo ng tim e. H e s e arc h ed h is m in d f o r "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" mem orie s o f h is fa th er, fo und th e g ood o nes, fo und a fe w b ad ones, a d ded i t a ll u p, a n d s m ile d .

“M y fa th er n ev er to ld m e a b out fin din g y ou in S pokan e,” Vic to r s a id .

“H e s a id h e w ould n’t t e ll a n ybody. D id n’t w an t m e t o g et i n tr o uble . B ut h e sa id I h ad to w atc h o ut fo r y ou a s p art o f th e deal.” “R eally ?” “R eally . Y our f a th er s a id y ou w ould n eed th e h elp . H e w as rig ht.” “T hat’s w hy y ou c am e d ow n h ere w ith m e, is n ’t it? ” V ic to r ask ed .

“I c am e b ecau se o f y our f a th er.” Vic to r a n d T hom as c lim bed in to th e p ic k up, d ro ve o ver to th e b an k, a n d c la im ed th e th re e h undre d d olla rs in th e s a v in gs acco unt.

Thom as B uild s-th e-F ir e c o uld f ly .

Once, he ju m ped off th e ro of of th e tr ib al sc h ool an d fla p ped h is a rm s lik e a c ra zy e ag le . A nd h e f le w . F or a s e co nd, he h overe d , s u sp en ded a b ove a ll th e o th er I n dia n b oys w ho w ere to o s m art o r t o o s c are d t o j u m p.

“H e’s f ly in g,” J u nio r y elle d , a n d S ey m our w as b usy l o okin g "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" fo r th e tr ic k w ir e s o r m ir ro rs . B ut it w as r e al. A s r e al a s th e d ir t when T hom as l o st a ltitu de a n d c ra sh ed t o t h e g ro und.

He b ro ke h is a rm i n t w o p la ces.

“H e b ro ke h is w in g,” V ic to r c h an te d , a n d th e o th er In dia n boys j o in ed i n , m ad e i t a t r ib al s o ng.

“H e b ro ke h is w in g, h e b ro ke h is w in g, h e b ro ke h is w in g,” all th e I n dia n b oys c h an te d a s th ey r a n o ff , f la p pin g th eir w in gs, wis h in g th ey c o uld f ly , to o. T hey h ate d T hom as f o r h is c o ura g e, his b rie f m om en t a s a b ir d . E very body h as d re am s a b out f ly in g.

Thom as f le w .

One o f h is d re am s c am e tr u e f o r ju st a s e co nd, ju st e n ough to m ak e i t r e al.

Vic to r’s f a th er, h is a sh es, f it i n o ne w ooden b ox w ith e n ough l e ft over t o f ill a c ard board b ox.

“H e a lw ay s w as a b ig m an ,” T hom as s a id .

Vic to r c arrie d p art o f h is f a th er a n d T hom as c arrie d t h e r e st out to th e p ic k up. T hey s e t h im d ow n c are fu lly b eh in d th e s e ats , put a c o w boy h at o n th e w ooden b ox a n d a D odgers c ap o n th e card board b ox. T hat’ s t h e w ay i t w as s u ppose d t o b e.

“R ead y t o h ead b ack h om e,” V ic to r a sk ed .

“It’ s g oin g t o b e a l o ng d riv e.” “Y eah , t a k e a c o uple d ay s, m ay be.” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “W e c an t a k e t u rn s,” T hom as s a id .

“O kay,” V ic to r s a id , b ut t h ey d id n’t t a k e t u rn s. V ic to r d ro ve fo r six te en hours str a ig ht north , m ad e it half w ay up N ev ad a to w ard h om e b efo re h e f in ally p ulle d o ver.

“H ey , T hom as,” V ic to r s a id . “ Y ou g ot t o d riv e f o r a w hile .” “O kay .” Thom as B uild s-th e-F ir e slid b eh in d th e w heel a n d sta rte d off d ow n th e r o ad . A ll th ro ugh N ev ad a, T hom as a n d V ic to r h ad been a m azed a t th e la ck o f a n im al lif e , a t th e a b se n ce o f w ate r, of m ovem en t.

“W here i s e v ery th in g?” V ic to r h ad a sk ed m ore t h an o nce.

Now w hen T hom as w as fin ally d riv in g th ey sa w th e fir s t an im al, m ay be th e o nly a n im al in N ev ad a. It w as a lo ng-e are d ja ck ra b bit.

“L ook,” V ic to r y elle d . “ It’ s a liv e.” Thom as a n d V ic to r w ere b usy c o ngra tu la tin g t h em se lv es o n th eir d is c o very w hen th e ja ck ra b bit d arte d o ut in to th e r o ad a n d under t h e w heels o f t h e p ic k up.

“S to p th e goddam n car,” V ic to r yelle d , an d T hom as did sto p, b ack ed t h e p ic k up t o t h e d ead j a ck ra b bit.

“O h, m an , he’s dead ,” V ic to r sa id as he lo oked at th e sq uash ed a n im al.

“R eally d ead .” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “T he o nly th in g a liv e in th is w hole s ta te a n d w e ju st k ille d it.” “I d on’t k now ,” T hom as s a id . “ I t h in k i t w as s u ic id e.” Vic to r lo oked aro und th e d ese rt, sn iff e d th e air, fe lt th e em ptin ess a n d l o nelin ess, a n d n odded h is h ead .

“Y eah ,” V ic to r s a id . “ It h ad t o b e s u ic id e.” “I can ’t belie v e th is ,” Thom as sa id . “Y ou driv e fo r a th ousa n d m ile s a n d th ere a in ’t e v en a n y b ugs sm ash ed o n th e win dsh ie ld . I d riv e f o r te n s e co nds a n d k ill th e o nly liv in g th in g in N ev ad a.” “Y eah ,” V ic to r s a id . “ M ay be I s h ould d riv e.” “M ay be y ou s h ould .” Thom as B uild s-th e-F ir e w alk ed th ro ugh th e co rrid ors of th e tr ib al sc h ool b y h im se lf . N obody w an te d to b e a n yw here n ear him b ecau se o f a ll t h ose s to rie s. S to ry a fte r s to ry .

Thom as c lo se d h is e y es a n d t h is s to ry c am e t o h im : “ W e a re all giv en one th in g by w hic h our liv es are m easu re d , one dete rm in atio n. M in e are th e sto rie s w hic h can ch an ge o r n ot ch an ge t h e w orld . I t d oesn ’t m atte r w hic h a s l o ng a s I c o ntin ue t o te ll th e s to rie s. M y f a th er, h e d ie d o n O kin aw a in W orld W ar I I, die d fig htin g fo r th is c o untr y , w hic h h ad tr ie d to k ill h im fo r years . M y m oth er, s h e d ie d g iv in g b ir th to m e, d ie d w hile I w as "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" still in sid e h er. S he p ush ed m e o ut in to th e w orld w ith h er la st bre ath . I h av e n o b ro th ers o r s is te rs . I h av e o nly m y s to rie s w hic h cam e to m e b efo re I e v en h ad th e w ord s to sp eak . I le arn ed a th ousa n d s to rie s b efo re I to ok m y f ir s t th ousa n d s te p s. T hey a re all I h av e. I t’ s a ll I c an d o.” Thom as B uild s-th e-F ir e to ld h is sto rie s to all th ose w ho would s to p a n d l is te n . H e k ep t t e llin g t h em l o ng a fte r p eo ple h ad sto pped l is te n in g.

Vic to r a n d T hom as m ad e i t b ack t o t h e r e se rv atio n j u st a s t h e s u n was ris in g. It w as th e b eg in nin g o f a n ew d ay o n e arth , b ut th e sa m e o ld s h it o n t h e r e se rv atio n.

“G ood m orn in g,” T hom as s a id .

“G ood m orn in g.” The tr ib e w as w ak in g u p, re ad y fo r w ork , e atin g b re ak fa st, re ad in g th e n ew sp ap er, ju st lik e e v ery body e ls e d oes. W ille n e LeB re t w as o ut in h er g ard en w earin g a b ath ro be. S he w av ed when T hom as a n d V ic to r d ro ve b y.

“C ra zy I n dia n s m ad e it,” s h e s a id to h ers e lf a n d w en t b ack to h er r o se s.

Vic to r sto pped th e p ic k up in fro nt o f T hom as B uild s-th e- Fir e ’s H UD h ouse . T hey b oth y aw ned , s tr e tc h ed a little , s h ook dust f ro m t h eir b odie s.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “I’m t ir e d ,” V ic to r s a id .

“O f e v ery th in g,” T hom as a d ded .

They b oth se arc h ed fo r w ord s to en d th e jo urn ey. V ic to r need ed to th an k T hom as fo r h is h elp , fo r th e m oney, a n d m ak e th e p ro m is e t o p ay i t a ll b ack .

“D on’t w orry ab out th e m oney,” T hom as sa id . “It don’t mak e a n y d if fe re n ce a n yhow .” “P ro bab ly n ot, e n it? ” “N ope.” Vic to r k new t h at T hom as w ould r e m ain t h e c ra zy s to ry te lle r who ta lk ed to d ogs a n d c ars , w ho lis te n ed to th e w in d a n d p in e tr e es. V ic to r knew th at he co uld n’t re ally be frie n ds w ith Thom as, e v en a fte r a ll t h at h ad h ap pen ed . I t w as c ru el b ut i t w as re al. A s re al a s th e a sh es, a s V ic to r’s fa th er, s ittin g b eh in d th e se ats .

“I k now h ow i t i s ,” T hom as s a id . “ I k now y ou a in ’t g oin g t o tr e at m e an y b ette r th an y ou d id b efo re . I k now y our frie n ds would g iv e y ou t o o m uch s h it a b out i t.” Vic to r w as a sh am ed o f h im se lf . W hate v er h ap pen ed to th e tr ib al tie s, th e se n se of co m munity ? T he only re al th in g he sh are d w ith a n ybody w as a b ottle a n d b ro ken d re am s. H e o w ed Thom as s o m eth in g, a n yth in g.

“L is te n ,” V ic to r s a id a n d h an ded T hom as t h e c ard board b ox "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" whic h c o nta in ed h alf o f h is f a th er. “ I w an t y ou t o h av e t h is .” Thom as t o ok t h e a sh es a n d s m ile d , c lo se d h is e y es, a n d t o ld th is s to ry : “ I’m g oin g to tr a v el to S pokan e F alls o ne la st tim e an d t o ss t h ese a sh es i n to t h e w ate r. A nd y our f a th er w ill r is e l ik e a s a lm on, le ap o ver th e b rid ge, o ver m e, a n d f in d h is w ay h om e.

It w ill be beau tif u l. H is te eth w ill sh in e lik e silv er, lik e a ra in bow . H e w ill r is e , V ic to r, h e w ill r is e .” Vic to r s m ile d .

“I w as p la n nin g o n d oin g th e sa m e th in g w ith m y h alf ,” Vic to r sa id . “ B ut I d id n’t im ag in e m y fa th er lo okin g a n yth in g lik e a sa lm on. I th ought it’ d be lik e cle an in g th e attic or so m eth in g. L ik e le ttin g th in gs g o a fte r th ey ’v e sto pped h av in g an y u se .” “N oth in g s to ps, c o usin ,” T hom as s a id . “ N oth in g s to ps.” Thom as B uild s-th e-F ir e g ot o ut o f t h e p ic k up a n d w alk ed u p his driv ew ay. V ic to r sta rte d th e pic k up an d beg an th e driv e hom e.

“W ait,” T hom as y elle d s u dden ly f ro m h is p orc h . “ I ju st g ot to a sk o ne f a v or.” Vic to r sto pped th e pic k up, le an ed out th e w in dow , an d sh oute d b ack . “ W hat d o y ou w an t? ” “Ju st o ne tim e w hen I’m te llin g a sto ry so m ew here , w hy don’t y ou s to p a n d l is te n ?” T hom as a sk ed .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “Ju st o nce?” “Ju st o nce.” Vic to r w av ed h is a rm s t o l e t T hom as k now t h at t h e d eal w as good. I t w as a f a ir t r a d e, a n d t h at w as a ll V ic to r h ad e v er w an te d fro m h is w hole lif e . S o V ic to r d ro ve h is f a th er’s p ic k up to w ard hom e w hile T hom as w en t in to h is h ouse , c lo se d th e d oor b eh in d him , an d heard a new sto ry co m e to him in th e sile n ce afte rw ard s.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" TH E F U N H OUSE I N T H E T R A IL ER B Y T sh im ik ain C re ek w here m y co usin s an d I u se d to g o c ra zy in th e m ud, m y a u nt w aite d . S he s e w ed to p ass t h e tim e, m ad e beau tif u l buck sk in outf its th at no one co uld a ff o rd , a n d o nce s h e m ad e a f u ll- le n gth b ead ed d re ss t h at w as t o o h eav y f o r a n yone t o w ear.

“It’s ju st lik e th e sw ord in th e sto ne,” sh e sa id . “ W hen a w om an c o m es a lo ng w ho c an c arry th e w eig ht o f th is d re ss o n h er b ack , t h en w e’ll h av e f o und t h e o ne w ho w ill s a v e u s a ll.” One m orn in g s h e s e w ed w hile h er s o n a n d h usb an d w atc h ed t e le v is io n. It was so quie t th at when her so n re le ase d a t r e m en dous f a rt, a m ouse , s ta rtle d f ro m h is h id in g p la ce b en eath m y a u nt’ s s e w in g c h air , r a n s tr a ig ht u p h er p an t l e g .

She p ulle d h er b ody in to th e a ir, re ach ed d ow n h er p an ts , u nbutto ned th em , tr ie d to p ull th em o ff , b ut th ey s tu ck a ro und t h e h ip s.

“Je su s, J e su s,” s h e c rie d w hile h er h usb an d a n d s o n ro lle d w ith l a u ghte r o n t h e f lo or.

“G et it o ut, g et it o ut,” sh e y elle d so m e m ore w hile h er h usb an d r a n o ver a n d s m ack ed h er l e g s i n a n e ff o rt t o s m ash t h e m ouse d ead .

" * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" “N ot t h at w ay ,” s h e c rie d a g ain a n d a g ain .

All th e n ois e a n d la u ghte r a n d te ars frig hte n ed th e m ouse ev en m ore , a n d h e r a n d ow n m y a u nt’s p an t l e g , o ut t h e d oor a n d in to t h e f ie ld s.

In th e afte rm ath , m y au nt hik ed her pan ts back up an d cu rs e d h er s o n a n d h usb an d.

“W hy d id n’t y ou h elp m e?” s h e a sk ed .

Her s o n c o uld n’t s to p l a u ghin g.

“I bet w hen th at m ouse ra n up your pan t le g , he w as th in kin g, What in th e h ell k in d o f m ouse tr a ps d o th ey g ot n ow ?

” her h usb an d s a id .

“Y eah ,” h er s o n a g re ed . “ W hen h e g ot u p t h ere , h e p ro bab ly sa id t o h im se lf , That’ s t h e u glie st m ouse tr a p I ’v e e ver s e en !

” “S to p it, y ou tw o,” s h e y elle d . “ H av en ’t y ou g ot a n y s e n se le ft? ” “C alm d ow n,” m y u ncle s a id . “ W e’re o nly t e asin g y ou.” “Y ou’re ju st a co uple o f u ngra te fu l sh its ,” m y au nt sa id .

“W here w ould y ou b e i f I d id n’t c o ok, i f m y f ry b re ad d id n’t f ill your s to m ach s e v ery d am n n ig ht? ” “M om ma,” h er s o n s a id . “ I d id n’t m ean i t.” “Y eah ,” s h e s a id . “ A nd I d id n’t m ean to g iv e b ir th to y ou.

Look a t y ou. T hir ty y ears o ld a n d n o jo b e x cep t g ettin g d ru nk.

What g ood a re y ou?” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “T hat’ s e n ough,” h er h usb an d y elle d .

“It’s n ev er e n ough,” m y a u nt s a id a n d w alk ed o uts id e, s to od in t h e s u n, a n d s e arc h ed t h e s k y f o r p re d ato rs o f a n y v arie ty . S he hoped s o m e f a lc o n o r o w l w ould f in d th e m ouse a n d s h e h oped so m e p te ro dacty l w ould g ra b h er h usb an d a n d s o n.

Bir d f e ed , s h e t h ought. They’d m ake g ood b ir d f e ed .

In th e d ark m y a u nt a n d h er h usb an d w ere d an cin g. T hir ty y ears ag o an d th ey tw o-s te p ped in an In dia n co w boy b ar. S o m an y In dia n s i n o ne p la ce a n d i t w as b eau tif u l t h en . A ll t h ey n eed ed t o su rv iv e w as t h e d riv e h om e a fte r c lo sin g t im e.

“H ey, N ezzy,” a voic e crie d out to m y au nt. “Y ou still ste p pin g o n t o es? ” My a u nt sm ile d a n d la u ghed . S he w as a b eau tif u l d an cer, had g iv en le sso ns a t th e A rth ur M urra y D an ce S tu dio to p ay h er way th ro ugh c o m munity c o lle g e. S he h ad a ls o d an ced to ple ss in a S eattle b ar t o p ut f o od i n h er c h ild ’s s to m ach .

There a re a ll k in ds o f d an cin g.

“D o y ou l o ve m e?” m y a u nt a sk ed h er h usb an d.

He s m ile d . H e h eld h er c lo se r, t ig hte r. T hey k ep t d an cin g.

Afte r c lo sin g t im e, t h ey d ro ve h om e o n t h e b ack r o ad s.

“B e care fu l,” m y au nt to ld h er h usb an d. “Y ou d ra n k to o much t o nig ht.” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" He s m ile d . H e p ut h is fo ot to th e fir e w all a n d th e p ic k up sta g gere d d ow n th e d ir t ro ad , w en t o n tw o w heels o n a sh arp co rn er, f lip ped , a n d s lid i n to t h e d itc h .

My a u nt c ra w le d o ut o f t h e w re ck , f a ce f u ll o f b lo od, a n d s a t on th e r o ad sid e. H er h usb an d h ad b een th ro w n o ut o f th e p ic k up an d l a y c o m ple te ly s till i n t h e m id dle o f t h e r o ad .

“D ead ? K nock ed o ut? P asse d o ut? ” m y a u nt a sk ed h ers e lf .

Afte r a w hile , an oth er car arriv ed an d sto pped . They wra p ped an old sh ir t aro und m y au nt’s head an d lo ad ed her husb an d i n to t h e b ack se at.

“Is h e d ead ?” m y a u nt a sk ed .

“N ah , h e’ll b e a ll r ig ht.” They d ro ve t h at w ay t o t h e t r ib al h osp ita l. M y a u nt b le d i n to th e s h ir t; h er h usb an d s le p t th ro ugh h is s lig ht c o ncu ssio n. T hey kep t h im o vern ig ht fo r o bse rv atio n, a n d m y a u nt s le p t o n a c o t besid e h is b ed . S he l e ft t h e t e le v is io n o n w ith t h e v olu m e t u rn ed off.

At s u nris e m y a u nt s h ook h er h usb an d a w ak e.

“W hat? ” h e a sk ed , c o m ple te ly s u rp ris e d . “ W here a m I ? ” “In t h e h osp ita l.” “A gain ?” “Y eah , a g ain .” Thir ty years la te r an d th ey still had n’t paid th e bill fo r "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" se rv ic es r e n dere d .

My au nt w alk ed d ow n h er d ir t ro ad u ntil sh e w as d iz zy. S he walk ed u ntil sh e sto od o n th e b an k o f T sh im ik ain C re ek . T he wate r w as b ro w n, s m elle d a little o f d ead a n im al a n d u ra n iu m .

My c o usin s a n d I d ove i n to t h ese w ate rs y ears a g o t o p ull c o lo re d sto nes fro m th e m uddy b otto m a n d c o lle ct th em in p ile s b esid e th e cre ek . M y au nt sto od besid e one of th ose ord in ary monum en ts t o c h ild hood a n d s m ile d a l ittle , c rie d a l ittle .

“O ne d um b m ouse te ars a p art th e w hole d am n h ouse ,” s h e sa id . T hen sh e str ip ped o ff h er c lo th es, k ep t h er sh oes o n fo r sa fe ty , an d dove nak ed in to th e cre ek . S he sp la sh ed aro und, sc re am ed i n j o y a s s h e w ad ed t h ro ugh. S he c o uld n’t s w im b ut t h e cre ek w as s h allo w , o nly ju st p ast h er h ip s. W hen s h e s a t d ow n th e s u rfa ce re ste d ju st b elo w h er c h in , s o w hen ev er s h e m oved sh e s w allo w ed a m outh fu l o f w ate r.

“I’ll p ro bab ly g et sic k ,” sh e sa id a n d la u ghed ju st a s h er husb an d a n d s o n a rriv ed a t t h e c re ek , o ut o f b re ath .

“W hat t h e h ell a re y ou d oin g?” h er h usb an d a sk ed .

“S w im min g.” “B ut y ou d on’t k now h ow t o s w im .” “I d o n ow .” “G et out of th ere befo re you dro w n,” her husb an d sa id .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “A nd g et s o m e c lo th es o n.” “I’m n ot c o m in g o ut u ntil I w an t t o ,” m y a u nt s a id , a n d s h e flo ate d u p o n h er b ack f o r t h e f ir s t t im e.

“Y ou c an ’t d o t h at,” h er s o n y elle d n ow . “ W hat i f s o m eb ody se es y ou?” “I d on’t c are ,” m y a u nt s a id . “ T hey c an a ll g o to h ell, a n d you t w o c an d riv e t h e b use s t h at g et t h em t h ere .” Her h usb an d an d so n th re w th eir h an ds u p in su rre n der, walk ed a w ay .

“A nd c o ok y our o w n d am n d in ner,” m y a u nt y elle d a t th eir back s.

She flo ate d o n th e w ate r lik e th at fo r h ours , u ntil h er s k in wrin kle d a n d h er e ars f ille d w ith w ate r. S he k ep t h er e y es c lo se d an d co uld b are ly h ear w hen h er h usb an d an d so n cam e b ack ev ery s o o fte n t o p le ad w ith h er.

“O ne d um b m ouse to re a p art th e w hole d am n h ouse . O ne dum b m ouse to re a p art th e w hole d am n h ouse ,” s h e c h an te d a t th em , sa n g it lik e a n urs e ry rh ym e, lik e a re se rv atio n M oth er Goose .

The d eliv ery ro om w as a m ad house , a fu n h ouse . T he In dia n Health S erv ic e d octo r k ep t s h outin g a t t h e n urs e s.

“G oddam n it,” he yelle d . “I’v e nev er done th is befo re .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" You’v e g ot t o h elp m e.” My a u nt w as c o nsc io us, to o f a r in to d eliv ery f o r d ru gs, a n d sh e w as s c re am in g a l ittle b it l o uder t h an t h e d octo r.

“S hit, s h it, fu ck ,” s h e y elle d a n d g ra b bed o nto th e n urs e s, th e d octo rs , k ic k ed a t h er s tir ru ps. “ It h urts , i t h urts , i t h urts !” Her s o n s lid o ut o f h er th en a n d n early s lip ped th ro ugh th e docto r’s h an ds. T he d octo r c au ght h im b y a n a n kle a n d h eld o n tig htly .

“It’ s a b oy,” h e s a id . “ F in ally .” A n urs e to ok th e b ab y, h eld it u psid e d ow n a s s h e c le are d his m outh , w ip ed his body alm ost cle an . M y au nt to ok her upsid e-d ow n so n w ith only one questio n: Will h e lo ve to ea t pota to es?

While m y a u nt h eld h er b ab y c lo se to h er c h est, th e d octo r tie d h er tu bes, w ith th e p erm is sio n s lip m y a u nt s ig ned b ecau se th e hosp ita l ad m in is tr a to r lie d an d sa id it pro ved her In dia n sta tu s f o r t h e B IA .

“W hat a re y ou g oin g to n am e it? ” a n urs e a sk ed m y a u nt.

“P ota to es,” s h e s a id . “ O r m ay be A lb ert.” When th e su n w en t d ow n a n d th e n ig ht g ot to o c o ld , m y a u nt fin ally s u rre n dere d t h e w ate r o f T sh im ik ain C re ek , p ut c lo th es o n her d am p a n d tir e d b ody, a n d w alk ed u p h er r o ad to w ard h om e.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" She lo oked a t th e b rig ht lig hts s h in in g in th e w in dow s, lis te n ed to t h e d ogs b ark s tu pid ly , a n d k new t h at t h in gs h ad t o c h an ge.

She w alk ed i n to t h e h ouse , d id n’t s a y a w ord t o h er s tu nned husb an d a n d s o n, a n d p ulle d t h at h eav ie st o f b ead ed d re sse s o ver her h ead . H er k nees b uck le d a n d s h e a lm ost f e ll f ro m t h e w eig ht; th en s h e d id f a ll.

“N o,” s h e s a id to h er h usb an d a n d s o n a s th ey r o se to h elp her.

She s to od, w eak ly . B ut s h e h ad t h e s tr e n gth t o t a k e t h e f ir s t ste p , t h en a n oth er q uic k o ne. S he h eard d ru m s, s h e h eard s in gin g, sh e d an ced .

Dan cin g th at w ay, sh e knew th in gs w ere beg in nin g to ch an ge.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" ALL I W ANTED T O D O WAS D ANCE V IC TO R W AS D ANCIN G W IT H a L ak ota w om an i n a M onta n a b ar. H e h ad n o id ea w hy h e w as th ere ; h e c o uld n’t e v en r e m em ber h ow h e a rriv ed . A ll h e k new w as th at h e w as d an cin g w ith th e o ne h undre d th I n dia n w om an in th e o ne h undre d d an cin g d ay s s in ce t h e w hite w om an h e lo ved h ad le ft h im . T his d an cin g w as h is c o m pen sa tio n, h is c o nfe ssio n, l a rg est s in , a n d p en an ce.

“Y ou’re b eau tif u l,” h e s a id t o t h e L ak ota w om an .

“A nd y ou’re d ru nk,” s h e s a id . B ut s h e w as b eau tif u l, w ith h air an d ey es so dark an d lo ng. H e im ag in ed sh e w as a r e se rv atio n e clip se . F ull. H e n eed ed sp ecia l g la sse s to lo ok a t h er; h e c o uld b are ly s u rv iv e h er r e fle ctio n.

“Y ou’re a c o nste lla tio n,” h e s a id .

“A nd y ou’re r e ally d ru nk,” s h e s a id .

Then sh e w as g one a n d h e w as la u ghin g, d an cin g th ro ugh t h e b ar a ll b y h im se lf . H e w an te d t o s in g b ut h e c o uld n’t t h in k o f a n y ly ric s. H e w as d ru nk, b ru is e d b y w his k ey, b ru ta l. H is h air w as e le ctr ic ity .

“I s ta rte d W orld W ar I ,” h e s h oute d . “ I s h ot L in co ln .” He w as u nderw ate r d ru nk, s ta rin g u p a t t h e f a ces o f h is p ast.

" * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" He re co gniz ed N eil A rm str o ng a n d C hris to pher C olu m bus, h is moth er a n d fa th er, Ja m es D ean , S al M in eo , N ata lie W ood. H e sta g gere d , fe ll ag ain st oth er dan cers , fo und him se lf in th e back se at of a Gra ssh opper as it tr a v ele d uneasily dow n re se rv atio n d ir t r o ad s.

“W here a re w e?” h e a sk ed th e F la th ead d riv er w ith in sa n e bra id s.

“H ead in g b ack to A rle e, co usin . Y ou sa id y ou w an te d a rid e.” “S hit, a ll I w an te d t o d o w as d an ce.” By th e riv er. S he w as sta n din g b y th e riv er. S he w as d an cin g with out m ovin g. B y th e r iv er. S he w asn ’t b eau tif u l e x actly ; s h e was lik e a sh im mer in th e dis ta n ce. She w as so w hite his re se rv atio n e y es s u ffe re d .

“H ey ,” V ic to r a sk ed . “ H av en ’t y ou e v er h eard o f C uste r? ” “H av e y ou e v er h eard o f C ra zy H ors e ?” s h e a sk ed h im .

In h is m em ory s h e w as a ll k in ds o f c o lo rs , b ut th e o nly o ne th at r e ally m atte re d w as w hite . T hen s h e w as g one, a n d a b se n ce has n o c o lo r. S om etim es h e l o oked i n t h e m ir ro r, r u bbed h is f a ce, pulle d a t h is e y elid s a n d s k in . H e c o m bed h is h air i n to b ra id s a n d fo rg av e h im se lf . A t n ig ht h is le g s a ch ed a n d h e re ach ed d ow n under th e co vers an d to uch ed his th ig hs, fle x ed m usc le s. H e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" open ed h is e y es b ut a ll h e c o uld s e e in th e d ark w as th e d ig ita l clo ck o n th e m ilk c arto n b esid e th e b ed . I t w as la te , e arly in th e morn in g. H e k ep t h is e y es o pen u ntil th ey g re w a ccu sto m ed to th e d ark , u ntil h e c o uld s e e v ag ue im ag es o f th e b ed ro om . T hen he lo oked a t th e c lo ck a g ain . F if te en m in ute s h ad p asse d a n d it was c lo se r t o s u nris e a n d h e s till h ad n’t s le p t a t a ll.

He m easu re d in so m nia by m in ute s. T en min ute s , h e to ld him se lf . I’ll b e a sle ep in te n m in ute s. I f n ot, I ’ll g et u p a nd tu rn on t h e l ig ht. R ea d a b ook m ayb e .

Ten m in ute s passe d an d he m ad e m ore pro m is e s. It’ s hopele ss. I f I ’m n ot a sle ep in h alf a n h our, I ’ll g et u p a nd m ake so m e b re a kfa st. I ’ll w atc h t h e s u nris e . V acu um .

When d aw n f in ally a rriv ed , h e l a y a w ak e f o r a f e w m in ute s, ra n h is to ngue o ver h is te eth . H e re ach ed o ut a n d to uch ed th e oth er h alf o f h is b ed . N o o ne w as s u ppose d to b e th ere ; h e ju st str e tc h ed h is a rm s. T hen h e r o se q uic k ly , s h ow ere d , s h av ed , a n d sa t a t th e k itc h en ta b le w ith h is c o ff e e a n d n ew sp ap er. H e re ad head lin es, a f e w H elp W an te d a d s, a n d c ir c le d o ne w ith a p en cil.

“G ood m orn in g,” he sa id alo ud, th en lo uder. “G ood morn in g.” “P eo ple c h an ge,” sh e to ld V ic to r. H e w atc h ed h er fa ce a s sh e sp oke a n d w atc h ed h er h an ds w hen s h e t o uch ed h is a rm .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “I w ould n’t k now a b out t h at,” h e s a id . H er h an ds w ere w hite an d sm all. H e re m em bere d h ow w hite an d sm all th ey lo oked ag ain st h is b ro w n s k in a s th ey la y to geth er, w ra p ped in s h eets .

She fe ll asle ep easily an d he w atc h ed her, lis te n ed to her bre ath in g, u ntil h is b re ath fe ll in to th e sa m e rh yth m , u ntil h e sle p t.

“I m is s w atc h in g y ou s le ep ,” h e s a id .

“L is te n , t h in gs a re j u st c ra zy r ig ht n ow . I w en t t o a p arty t h e oth er n ig ht a n d so m eo ne h ad so m e c o cain e, y ou k now ? It w as th ere a n d I l ik ed i t.” “Y ou m ean y ou s n orte d i t? ” “N o, n o. I j u st l ik ed i t b ein g t h ere . I d an ced , t o o. T here w as music , a n d p eo ple w ere d an cin g o ut b y t h e p ool. S o I d an ced .” He sta re d at h er th en . S he sm ile d an d to uch ed h er fa ce, bru sh ed h air a w ay f ro m h er e y es.

“G od,” s h e s a id . “ I c o uld r e ally g et a d dic te d t o c o cain e, y ou know ? I c o uld r e ally l ik e i t.” Vic to r s ip ped h is c o ff e e c are fu lly e v en th ough it w as lu kew arm .

He sta re d o ut o ver th e cu p, th ro ugh th e w in dow in to th e su n ris in g. H e fe lt d iz zy a n d d id n’t s ta n d u p fo r fe ar o f fa llin g. H is ey es w ere h eav y, a ch ed .

“T oday ,” h e s a id t o h is c o ffe e, “ I’m g oin g t o r u n.” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" He i m ag in ed p ullin g o n a p air o f s h orts a n d h is t e n nis s h oes, str e tc h in g h is m usc le s o n th e b ack p orc h b efo re h e s e t o ut in to th e e arly m orn in g. T w o, m ay be th re e m ile s o ut a n d th en b ack to th e h ouse . A f e w s it- u ps, p ush -u ps, to c o ol d ow n a n d a p ie ce o f dry t o ast t o s e ttle h is s to m ach . I n ste ad , h e f in is h ed h is c o ff e e a n d sw itc h ed o n th e te le v is io n, f lip ped th ro ugh a f e w s ta tio ns b efo re he f o und a f a ce h e lik ed . A p re tty b lo nd w om an w as r e ad in g th e lo cal n ew s, b ut h e tu rn ed th e v olu m e a ll th e w ay d ow n, w atc h ed her m outh w ork in g s ile n tly .

Soon s h e w as re p la ced b y o th er fa ces, tir e d re p orte rs w ith win dblo w n h air, a fo re st fir e , a n oth er w ar. It w as a ll th e s a m e.

Once, he ow ned a bla ck -a n d-w hite te le v is io n. He th ought ev ery th in g w as m uch c le are r th en . C olo r c o m plic ate d e v en th e sm alle st ev en ts . A co m merc ia l fo r a new can dy bar w as so brig ht, s o l a y ere d , h e r a n t o t h e b ath ro om a n d t h re w u p.

Still, h e d ra n k h is c o ff e e s tr a ig ht to day. I n o th er y este rd ay s he p oure d v odka in to h is cu p b efo re th e co ff e e w as fin is h ed bre w in g.

“S hit,” h e s a id a lo ud. “ N oth in g m ore h opele ss th an a s o ber In dia n .” Vic to r w as fa n cy dan cin g. E ig ht, m ay be n in e y ears o ld a n d h e was fa n cy dan cin g in th e s a m e o utf it h is fa th er w ore a s a c h ild .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" The fe ath ers w ere g en etic ; th e frin ge w as p asse d d ow n lik e th e cu rv e o f h is f a ce.

Dru m s.

He lo oked in to th e c ro w d f o r a p pro val, s a w h is m oth er a n d fa th er. H e w av ed a n d th ey w av ed b ack . S m ile s a n d I n dia n te eth .

They were both dru nk. Every th in g fa m ilia r an d welc o m e.

Every th in g b eau tif u l.

Dru m s.

Afte r th e d an ce, b ack a t c am p, h e a te fry b re ad w ith to o much b utte r a n d d ra n k a P ep si ju st p ulle d fro m th e c o ole r. T he Pep si w as p artly f ro zen a n d t h e l ittle p ie ces o f i c e h urt h is t e eth .

“D id y ou s e e J u nio r d an cin g?” h is m oth er a sk ed e v ery one i n cam p. S he w as l o ud, d ru nk, s ta g gere d .

They all nodded head s in ag re em en t; th is oth er kin d of dan cin g w as noth in g new . H is fa th er passe d out ben eath th e pic n ic t a b le , a n d a fte r a w hile h is m oth er c ra w le d u nder, w ra p ped her arm s aro und her husb an d, an d passe d out w ith him . O f co urs e , t h ey w ere i n l o ve.

Dru m s.

Vic to r w as d ru nk a g ain .

A n ig ht in th e w ooden -flo or b ar a n d s h e w an te d to d an ce, but h e w an te d t o d rin k a n d e ase t h at t u g i n h is t h ro at a n d g ut.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “C om e o n, y ou’v e h ad e n ough,” s h e s a id .

“Ju st o ne m ore b eer, s w eeth eart, a n d t h en w e’ll g o h om e.” It h ap pen ed th at w ay. H e th ought o ne m ore b eer c o uld s a v e th e w orld . O ne m ore b eer a n d e v ery c h air w ould b e c o m fo rta b le .

One m ore b eer a n d th e lig ht b ulb in th e b ath ro om w ould n ev er burn o ut. O ne m ore b eer a n d h e w ould lo ve h er fo re v er. O ne more b eer a n d h e w ould s ig n a n y t r e aty f o r h er.

At h om e, in th e d ark , th ey fo ught a n d k ic k ed a t s h eets , a t each o th er. S he w aite d f o r h im t o p ass o ut. H e d ra n k s o m uch b ut he w ould n ev er p ass o ut. H e c rie d .

“G oddam n i t,” h e s a id . “ I h ate t h e f u ck in g w orld .” “G o t o s le ep .” He c lo se d h is e y es; h e p la y ed th e s te re o a t f u ll v olu m e. H e punch ed t h e w alls b ut n ev er h ard e n ough t o h urt h im se lf .

“N oth in g w ork s. N oth in g w ork s.” Morn in gs a fte r, h e w ould p re te n d s le ep w hile s h e d re sse d , le ft fo r w ork a n d h er o w n h om e. M orn in gs a fte r, s h e p au se d a t th e d oor b efo re l e av in g, a sk ed h ers e lf i f t h is w as f o r g ood.

One m orn in g, i t w as.

Som etim es V ic to r w ork ed .

He dro ve a garb ag e tr u ck fo r th e BIA ; he co oked ham burg ers at th e T rib al C afe . O n p ay day, h is w alle t stu ff e d "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" with m oney, h e w ould sta n d in fro nt o f th e b eer c o ole r in th e Tra d in g P ost.

“H ow lo ng has he been sta n din g th ere ?” Phyllis ask ed Sey m our.

“S om e s a y h e’s b een t h ere f o r h ours . T hat w om an o ver t h ere with th e m usic case sa y s V ic to r has been sta n din g th ere his whole l if e . I t h in k h e’s b een t h ere f o r f iv e h undre d y ears .” Once, V ic to r b ought a c ase o f C oors L ig ht a n d d ro ve fo r mile s w ith th e b ottle s b esid e h im o n th e se at. H e w ould o pen one, to uch th e c o ld g la ss to h is lip s, a n d fe el h is h eart s ta g ger.

But h e c o uld n ot d rin k, a n d o ne b y o ne h e t o sse d t w en ty -fo ur f u ll bottle s o ut t h e w in dow .

The sm all ex plo sio ns, th eir sh atte rin g, w as th e w ay he measu re d t im e.

Vic to r w atc h ed th e m orn in g a rriv e a n d le av e. H is h an ds w ere co ld . H e p re sse d th em a g ain st th e w in dow g la ss a n d w aite d fo r so m e warm th to tr a n sla te . He’d been back hom e on th e re se rv atio n f o r o ne h undre d d ay s a fte r b ein g l o st i n t h e d ese rt f o r fo rty y ears . B ut h e w asn ’t g oin g t o s a v e a n yone. M ay be n ot e v en him se lf .

He o pen ed h is f ro nt d oor to w atc h th e w orld r e v olv in g. H e walk ed o nto h is fro nt p orc h a n d fe lt th e c o ld a ir. T om orro w h e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" would r u n. H e w ould b e s o m eb ody’s h ero . T om orro w .

He c o unte d h is c o in s. E nough fo r a b ottle o f A nnie G re en Sprin gs W in e in th e T ra d in g P ost. H e w alk ed d ow n th e h ill a n d in to th e s to re , g ra b bed th e b ottle w ith out h esita tio n, p aid fo r it with n ic k els a n d p en nie s, a n d w alk ed i n to t h e p ark in g l o t. V ic to r pulle d t h e w in e f ro m i ts p ap er b ag , c ra ck ed t h e s e al, a n d t w is te d th e c ap o ff.

Je su s, h e w an te d t o d rin k s o m uch h is b lo od c o uld m ak e t h e en tir e t r ib e n um b.

“H ey , c o usin , y ou g ot t o l e t i t b re ath e.” An In dia n s tr a n ger ju m ped fro m a p ic k up, w alk ed o ver to Vic to r, a n d s m ile d .

“W hat d id y ou s a y ?” V ic to r a sk ed h im .

“I s a id y ou g ot t o l e t i t b re ath e.” Vic to r l o oked a t h is o pen b ottle , o ff e re d i t t o t h e s tr a n ger i n an i n te rtr ib al g estu re .

“Y ou w an t t h e f ir s t d rin k, c o usin ?” “D on’t m in d i f I d o.” The str a n ger d ra n k lo ng a n d h ard , h is th ro at w ork in g lik e gears . W hen h e w as d one, h e w ip ed t h e b ottle c le an a n d h an ded i t back t o V ic to r.

“L is te n u p,” t h e s tr a n ger s a id . “ T oday i s m y b ir th day .” “H ow o ld a re y ou?” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “O ld e n ough.” And t h ey l a u ghed .

Vic to r lo oked a t th e b ottle a g ain a n d o ff e re d it a g ain to th e str a n ger i n a p ers o nal g estu re .

“H av e a b ir th day d rin k.” “S hit, y ou’re a g en ero us d ru nk, e n it? ” “G en ero us e n ough.” And t h ey l a u ghed .

The I n dia n s tr a n ger d ra n k h alf th e b ottle w ith o ne s w allo w .

He s m ile d w hen h e h an ded t h e w in e b ack t o V ic to r.

“W hat t r ib e a re y ou, c o usin ?” V ic to r a sk ed h im .

“C hero kee.” “R eally ? S hit, I ’v e n ev er m et a r e al C hero kee.” “N eith er h av e I .” And t h ey l a u ghed .

Vic to r lo oked a t th e b ottle fo r a th ir d tim e. H e h an ded it back t o t h e I n dia n s tr a n ger.

“K eep i t,” h e s a id . “ Y ou d ese rv e i t m ore .” “T han ks, c o usin . M y t h ro at i s d ry , y ou k now ?” “Y eah , I k now .” Vic to r to uch ed th e In dia n str a n ger’s h an d, sm ile d h ard a t him , a n d w alk ed a w ay. H e lo oked a t th e su n to d ete rm in e th e tim e a n d t h en c h eck ed h is w atc h t o b e s u re .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “H ey, c o usin ,” th e In dia n s tr a n ger y elle d . “ Y ou k now h ow to t e ll t h e d if fe re n ce b etw een a r e al I n dia n a n d a f a k e I n dia n ?” “H ow ?” “T he r e al I n dia n g ot b lis te rs o n h is f e et. T he f a k e I n dia n g ot blis te rs o n h is a ss.” And th ey la u ghed . A nd V ic to r k ep t la u ghin g a s h e w alk ed .

And h e w as w alk in g d ow n th is ro ad an d to m orro w m ay be h e would b e w alk in g d ow n a n oth er ro ad a n d m ay be to m orro w h e would b e d an cin g. V ic to r m ig ht b e d an cin g.

Yes, V ic to r w ould b e d an cin g.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" TH E T R IA L O F T H OM AS BU IL D S-T H E-F IR E Som eo ne m ust h ave b een t e llin g l ie s a bout J o se p h K ., f o r with out havin g d one a nyth in g w ro ng h e w as a rre ste d o ne f in e morn in g.

—Fra n z K afk a T HOM AS BU IL D S-T H E-F IR E W AIT ED A LO NE in th e Spokan e tr ib al h old in g cell while BIA off ic ia ls dis c u sse d his fu tu re , th e i m med ia te p re se n t, a n d o f c o urs e , h is p ast.

“B uild s-th e-F ir e h as a h is to ry o f th is k in d o f b eh av io r,” a m an in a B IA su it sa id to th e oth ers . “A sto ry te llin g fe tis h a cco m pan ie d b y a n e x tr e m e n eed t o t e ll t h e t r u th . D an gero us.” Thom as w as in th e h old in g c ell b ecau se h e h ad o nce h eld t h e r e se rv atio n p ostm aste r h osta g e f o r e ig ht h ours w ith th e id ea o f a g un a n d h ad a ls o th re ate n ed to m ak e s ig nif ic an t c h an ges in t h e tr ib al vis io n. B ut th at cris is w as re so lv ed years ag o as T hom as s u rre n dere d v olu nta rily a n d a g re ed to re m ain s ile n t. In f a ct, T hom as h ad n ot sp oken in n early tw en ty y ears . A ll h is s to rie s re m ain ed in te rn al; he w ould not ev en se n d le tte rs or " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" Chris tm as c ard s.

But r e cen tly T hom as h ad b eg un t o m ak e s m all n ois e s, f o rm sy lla b le s th at c o nta in ed m ore e m otio n a n d m ean in g th an e n tir e se n te n ces co nstr u cte d by th e BIA . A nois e th at so unded so m eth in g lik e ra in h ad g iv en E sth er c o ura g e e n ough to le av e her h usb an d, tr ib al c h air m an D av id W alk sA lo ng, w ho h ad b een tr ib al polic e ch ie f at th e tim e of Thom as B uild s-th e-F ir e ’s orig in al crim e. W alk sA lo ng w alk ed alo ng w ith B IA p olic y so willin gly th at h e to ok to c allin g h is w if e a s a va ge in p oly este r pants . S he p ack ed h er b ag s th e d ay a fte r s h e lis te n ed to T hom as sp eak ; T hom as w as a rre ste d t h e d ay a fte r E sth er l e ft.

Now T hom as s a t q uie tly in h is c ell, c o untin g c o ck ro ach es an d s ilv erfis h . H e c o uld n’t s le ep , h e d id n’t f e el l ik e e atin g. O fte n he c lo se d h is e y es a n d s to rie s c am e t o h im q uic k ly , b ut h e w ould not s p eak . H e n odded a n d l a u ghed i f t h e s to ry w as f u nny; c rie d a little w hen th e sto rie s w ere sa d ; p ounded h is fis ts a g ain st h is mattr e ss w hen t h e s to rie s a n gere d h im .

“W ell, t h e t r a v elin g j u dge i s c o m in g i n t o m orro w ,” o ne g uy in a B IA s u it s a id to th e o th ers . “ W hat c h arg es s h ould w e b rin g him u p o n?” “In citin g a rio t? K id nap pin g? E xto rtio n? M ay be m urd er? ” an oth er g uy i n a B IA s u it a sk ed , a n d t h e o th ers l a u ghed .

“W ell,” th ey a ll a g re ed . “ It h as to b e a fe lo ny c h arg e. W e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" don’t n eed h is k in d a ro und h ere a n ym ore .” Late r th at nig ht, Thom as la y aw ak e an d co unte d sta rs th ro ugh t h e b ars i n h is w in dow . H e w as g uilty , h e k new t h at. A ll th at w as varia b le on an y re se rv atio n w as how th e co nvic te d would b e p unis h ed .

The fo llo w in g re p ort is adapte d fr o m th e orig in al co urt tr a nsc rip t .

“M r. B uild s-th e-F ir e ,” th e ju dge sa id to T hom as. “B efo re w e beg in t h is t r ia l, t h e c o urt m ust b e c erta in t h at y ou u nders ta n d t h e ch arg es a g ain st y ou.” Thom as, w ho w ore his best rib bon sh ir t an d decid ed to re p re se n t h im se lf , s to od a n d s p oke a c o m ple te s e n te n ce fo r th e fir s t t im e i n t w o d ecad es.

“Y our H onor,” h e s a id . “ I d on’t b elie v e t h at t h e e x act n atu re of an y ch arg es ag ain st m e hav e been re v eale d , le t alo ne deta ile d .” There w as a h ush i n t h e c ro w d, f o llo w ed b y e x cla m atio ns o f jo y, sa d ness, e tc . E ve F ord , th e fo rm er re se rv atio n p ostm aste r held h osta g e b y T hom as y ears e arlie r, s a t q uie tly i n t h e b ack r o w an d t h ought t o h ers e lf , He h asn ’t d one a nyth in g w ro ng .

“W ell, M r. B uild s-th e-F ir e ,” th e ju dge sa id . “I can only in fe r b y y our s u dden w illin gness to c o m munic ate th at y ou d o in "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" fa ct u nders ta n d t h e p urp ose o f t h is t r ia l.” “T hat’ s n ot t r u e.” “A re y ou a ccu sin g th is c o urt o f d is h onesty , M r. B uild s-th e- Fir e ?” Thom as s a t d ow n, t o r e g ain h is s ile n ce f o r a f e w m om en ts .

“W ell, M r. B uild s-th e-F ir e , w e’re g oin g to d is p en se w ith open in g r e m ark s a n d p ro ceed t o t e stim ony. A re y ou r e ad y t o c all your f ir s t w itn ess? ” “Y es, I am , Y our H onor. I call m yse lf as fir s t an d o nly witn ess to all th e crim es I’m accu se d o f an d, ad ditio nally , to brin g a tte n tio n t o a ll t h e m itig atin g c ir c u m sta n ces.” “W hate v er,” th e ju dge sa id . “R ais e your rig ht han d an d pro m is e m e y ou’ll t e ll t h e w hole t r u th a n d n oth in g b ut t h e t r u th .” “H onesty i s a ll I h av e l e ft,” T hom as s a id .

Thom as B uild s-th e-F ir e s a t in th e w itn ess s ta n d, c lo se d h is ey es, a n d s p oke t h is s to ry a lo ud:

“It a ll s ta rte d o n S ep te m ber 8 , 1 858. I w as a y oung p ony, str o ng an d quic k in ev ery m ovem en t. I re m em ber th is . S till, th ere w as so m uch to fe ar o n th at d ay w hen C olo nel G eo rg e Wrig ht to ok m e a n d 7 99 o f m y b ro th ers c ap tiv e. Im ag in e, 8 00 beau tif u l p onie s sto le n at o nce. It w as th e w ors t k in d o f w ar crim e. But Colo nel W rig ht th ought w e w ere to o m an y to tr a n sp ort, th at w e w ere a ll d an gero us. In fa ct, I still c arry h is "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" le tte r o f t h at d ay w hic h j u stif ie d t h e c o m in g s la u ghte r” :

Dear S ir :

As I re p orte d in m y c o m munic atio n o f y este rd ay th e cap tu re o f 8 00 h ors e s o n th e 8 th in sta n t, I h av e n ow to a d d th at t h is l a rg e b an d o f h ors e s c o m pose d t h e e n tir e w ealth o f th e Spokan e ch ie f Til- c o -a x . This m an has ev er been hostile ; fo r th e la st tw o years he has been co nsta n tly se n din g h is y oung m en in to th e W alla W alla v alle y, an d ste alin g h ors e s an d cattle fro m th e se ttle rs an d fro m th e govern m en t. H e b old ly a ck now le d ged th ese fa cts w hen h e met C olo nel S te p to e, in M ay la st. R etr ib utiv e ju stic e h as now overta k en him ; th e blo w has been se v ere but w ell merite d . I f o und m yse lf e m barra sse d w ith t h ese 8 00 h ors e s.

I c o uld n ot h azard th e e x perim en t o f m ovin g w ith su ch a num ber o f a n im als ( m an y o f t h em v ery w ild ) a lo ng w ith m y la rg e t r a in ; s h ould a s ta m ped e t a k e p la ce, w e m ig ht n ot o nly lo se o ur cap tu re d an im als , b ut m an y o f o ur o w n. U nder th ose c ir c u m sta n ces, I d ete rm in ed to k ill th em a ll, sa v e a fe w in se rv ic e in th e quarte rm aste r’s dep artm en t an d to re p la ce bro ken -d ow n an im als . I deep ly re g re tte d killin g th ese p oor c re atu re s, b ut a d ir e n ecessity d ro ve m e to it.

This w ork o f s la u ghte r h as b een g oin g o n s in ce 1 0 o ’c lo ck "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" of y este rd ay, a n d w ill n ot b e c o m ple te d b efo re t h is e v en in g, an d I s h all m arc h f o r t h e C oeu r d ’A le n e M is sio n t o m orro w .

Very r e sp ectf u lly , y our o bed ie n t s e rv an t, G. W RIG HT, C olo nel 9 th I n fa n tr y , C om man din g.

“S om eh ow I w as lu ck y e n ough to b e s p are d w hile h undre d s o f my bro th ers an d sis te rs fe ll to geth er. It w as a nig htm are to witn ess. T hey w ere ro unded in to a c o rra l a n d th en la sso ed , o ne by o ne, a n d d ra g ged o ut to b e s h ot in th e h ead . T his la ste d fo r hours , an d all th at dark nig ht m oth ers crie d fo r th eir dead ch ild re n . T he n ex t d ay, th e s u rv iv ors w ere r o unded in to a s in gle mass a n d s la u ghte re d b y c o ntin uous r if le f ir e .” Thom as o pen ed h is e y es a n d f o und th at m ost o f th e I n dia n s in th e co urtr o om w ep t an d w an te d to ad m it defe at. H e th en clo se d h is e y es a n d c o ntin ued t h e s to ry :

“B ut I w as n ot g oin g to s u bm it w ith out a s tr u ggle . I w ould co ntin ue th e w ar. A t f ir s t I w as p assiv e, le t o ne m an s a d dle m e an d r id e f o r a w hile . H e la u ghed a t th e illu sio n o f m y w eak ness.

But I s u dden ly ro se u p a n d b uck ed h im o ff a n d b ro ke h is a rm .

Anoth er m an tr ie d to rid e m e, b ut I th re w h im an d so m an y oth ers , u ntil I w as l a th ere d w ith s w eat a n d b lo od f ro m t h eir s p urs an d r if le b utts . I t w as g lo rio us. F in ally t h ey g av e u p, q uit, a n d l e d me t o t h e b ack o f t h e t r a in . T hey c o uld n ot b re ak m e. S om e m ay "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" hav e w an te d to k ill m e fo r m y a rro gan ce, b ut o th ers re sp ecte d my an ger, m y re fu sa l to ad m it d efe at. I liv ed th at d ay, ev en esc ap ed C olo nel W rig ht, a n d g allo ped i n to o th er h is to rie s.” Thom as o pen ed h is ey es an d sa w th at th e In dia n s in th e co urtr o om s a t u p s tr a ig ht, c o m bed t h eir b ra id s g ra cefu lly , s m ile d with I n dia n a b an don.

“M r. B uild s-th e-F ir e ,” t h e j u dge a sk ed . “ Is t h at t h e e x te n t o f your t e stim ony?” “Y our H onor, if I m ay c o ntin ue, th ere is m uch m ore I n eed to s a y . T here a re s o m an y m ore s to rie s t o t e ll.” The ju dge lo oked a t T hom as B uild s-th e-F ir e f o r a n in sta n t, decid ed to le t h im c o ntin ue. T hom as c lo se d h is e y es, a n d a n ew sto ry w as r a is e d f ro m t h e a sh o f o ld er s to rie s:

“M y n am e w as Q ualc h an a n d I h ad b een fig htin g fo r o ur peo ple , f o r o ur la n d. I t w as h orre n dous, h id in g in th e d ir t a t th e very m outh of th e S pokan e R iv er w here m y fe llo w w arrio r, Mose s, f o und m e a fte r h e e sc ap ed f ro m C olo nel W rig ht’s c am p.

Qualc h an , he sa id to m e. Yo u m ust sta y a w ay fr o m W rig ht’s ca m p. H e m ea ns to h ang y o u . B ut W rig ht h ad ta k en m y fa th er hosta g e a n d th re ate n ed to h an g h im if I d id n ot c o m e in . W rig ht pro m is e d h e w ould tr e at m e fa ir ly . I b elie v ed h im a n d w en t to th e c o lo nel’s c am p a n d w as i m med ia te ly p la ced i n c h ain s. I t w as th en I s a w th e h an gm an ’s n oose a n d m ad e th e fig ht to e sc ap e.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" My w if e a ls o f o ught b esid e m e w ith a k nif e a n d w ounded m an y so ld ie rs b efo re s h e w as s u bdued . A fte r I w as b eate n d ow n, th ey dra g ged m e t o t h e n oose a n d I w as h an ged w ith s ix o th er I n dia n s, in clu din g E pse al, w ho h ad n ev er ra is e d a h an d in a n ger to a n y white o r I n dia n .” Thom as o pen ed h is e y es a n d s w allo w ed a ir h ard . H e c o uld bare ly b re ath e a n d t h e c o urtr o om g re w d is ta n t a n d v ag ue.

“M r. B uild s-th e-F ir e ,” t h e j u dge a sk ed a n d b ro ught T hom as back to a tte n tio n. “ W hat p oin t a re y ou tr y in g to m ak e w ith th is sto ry ?” “W ell,” T hom as s a id . “ T he C ity o f S pokan e i s n ow b uild in g a g olf c o urs e n am ed a fte r m e, Q ualc h an , lo cate d in th at v alle y where I w as h an ged .” The c o urtr o om b urs t in to m otio n a n d e m otio n. T he ju dge ham mere d h is g av el a g ain st h is b en ch . T he b ailiff h ad t o r e str a in Eve F ord , w ho h ad m ad e a s u dden le ap o f f a ith a cro ss th e r o om to w ard T hom as.

“T hom as,” s h e y elle d . “ W e’re a ll l is te n in g.” The b ailiff h ad h is h an ds f u ll a s E ve s lu gged h im t w ic e a n d th en p ush ed h im to th e g ro und. E ve s to m ped o n th e b ailiff ’s b ig belly u ntil t w o t r ib al p olic em en t a ck le d h er, h an dcu ff e d h er, a n d le d h er a w ay .

“T hom as,” s h e y elle d . “ W e h ear y ou.” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" The ju dge w as re d -fa ced w ith an ger; he alm ost lo oked In dia n . H e p ounded h is g av el u ntil i t b ro ke.

“O rd er in th e co urt,” he sh oute d . “O rd er in th e fu ck in g co urt.” The tr ib al p olic em en g re w in n um ber. M an y w ere In dia n s th at th e o th ers h ad n ev er s e en b efo re . T he p olic em en s w elle d in siz e a n d f o rc ed th e o th ers o ut o f th e c o urtr o om . A fte r th e c o urt was c le are d a n d o rd er r e sto re d , th e ju dge p ulle d h is r e p la cem en t gav el f ro m b en eath h is r o be a n d c o ntin ued t h e t r ia l.

“N ow ,” t h e j u dge s a id . “ W e c an g o a b out t h e a d m in is tr a tio n of j u stic e.” “Is th at re al ju stic e o r th e id ea o f ju stic e?” T hom as a sk ed him , a n d t h e j u dge f le w b ack i n to a n ger.

“D efe n se te stim ony is o ver,” h e s a id . “ M r. B uild s-th e-F ir e , you w ill n ow b e c ro ss-e x am in ed .” Thom as w atc h ed th e pro se cu tin g atto rn ey ap pro ach th e witn ess s ta n d.

“M r. B uild s-th e-F ir e ,” h e sa id . “ W here w ere y ou o n M ay 16, 1 858?” “I w as in th e v ic in ity o f R osa lia , W ash in gto n, a lo ng w ith 799 o th er w arrio rs , r e ad y to b attle w ith C olo nel S te p to e a n d h is so ld ie rs .” “A nd c o uld y ou e x pla in e x actly w hat h ap pen ed th ere th at "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" day ?” Thom as c lo se d h is e y es a n d t o ld t h is s to ry :

“M y n am e w as W ild C oyote a n d I w as j u st s ix te en y ears o ld an d w as f rig hte n ed b ecau se t h is w as t o b e m y f ir s t b attle . B ut w e were co nfid en t becau se S te p to e’s so ld ie rs w ere so sm all an d weak . T hey tr ie d to n eg otia te a p eace, b ut o ur w ar c h ie fs w ould not s e ttle f o r a n yth in g s h ort o f b lo od. Y ou m ust u nders ta n d t h ese were d ay s o f v io le n ce a n d c o ntin ual lie s fro m th e w hite m an .

Ste p to e s a id h e w an te d p eace b etw een w hite s a n d I n dia n s, b ut h e had c an nons a n d h ad lie d b efo re , s o w e re fu se d to b elie v e h im th is tim e. I n ste ad , w e a tta ck ed a t d aw n a n d k ille d m an y o f th eir so ld ie rs a n d lo st o nly a f e w w arrio rs . T he s o ld ie rs m ad e a s ta n d on a h illto p a n d w e s u rro unded th em , a m azed a t th eir te ars a n d crie s. B ut y ou m ust u nders ta n d th ey w ere a ls o v ery b ra v e. T he so ld ie rs fo ught w ell, b ut th ere w ere to o m an y In dia n s fo r th em on th at d ay. N ig ht f e ll a n d w e r e tr e ate d a little a s w e a lw ay s d o durin g d ark . S om eh ow th e s u rv iv in g s o ld ie rs e sc ap ed d urin g th e nig ht, a n d m an y o f u s w ere h ap py f o r th em . T hey h ad f o ught s o well t h at t h ey d ese rv ed t o l iv e a n oth er d ay .” Thom as open ed his ey es an d fo und th e pro se cu tin g atto rn ey ’s l o ng n ose j u st i n ch es f ro m h is o w n.

“M r. B uild s-th e-F ir e , h ow m an y so ld ie rs d id y ou k ill th at day ?” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Thom as c lo se d h is e y es a n d t o ld a n oth er s to ry :

“I k ille d o ne s o ld ie r r ig ht o ut w ith a n a rro w t o t h e c h est. H e fe ll o ff h is h ors e a n d d id n’t m ove a g ain . I s h ot a n oth er s o ld ie r an d h e fe ll o ff h is h ors e , to o, a n d I ra n o ver to h im to ta k e h is sc alp but he pulle d his re v olv er an d sh ot m e th ro ugh th e sh ould er. I still h av e th e sc ar. It h urt so m uch th at I le ft th e so ld ie r a n d w en t a w ay t o d ie . I r e ally t h ought I w as g oin g t o d ie , an d I s u ppose th e s o ld ie r p ro bab ly d ie d la te r. S o I w en t a n d la y dow n i n t h is t a ll g ra ss a n d w atc h ed t h e s k y. I t w as b eau tif u l a n d I was r e ad y to d ie . I t h ad b een a g ood f ig ht. I la y th ere f o r p art o f th e d ay a n d m ost o f th e n ig ht u ntil o ne o f m y f rie n ds p ic k ed m e up a n d s a id th e s o ld ie rs h ad e sc ap ed . M y frie n d tie d h im se lf to me a n d w e r o de a w ay w ith t h e o th ers . T hat i s w hat h ap pen ed .” Thom as o pen ed h is e y es a n d f a ced t h e p ro se cu tin g a tto rn ey .

“M r. B uild s-th e-F ir e , you do ad m it, w illin gly , th at you murd ere d t w o s o ld ie rs i n c o ld b lo od a n d w ith p re m ed ita tio n?” “Y es, I k ille d th ose s o ld ie rs , b ut th ey w ere g ood m en . I d id it w ith s a d h eart a n d h an d. T here w as n o w ay I c o uld e v er s m ile or la u gh a g ain . I’m n ot so rry w e h ad to fig ht, b ut I a m so rry th ose m en h ad t o d ie .” “M r. B uild s-th e-F ir e , p le ase a n sw er th e q uestio n. D id y ou or d id y ou n ot m urd er th ose tw o s o ld ie rs in c o ld b lo od a n d w ith pre m ed ita tio n?” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “I d id .” Artic le f r o m t h e S pokesm an -R ev ie w , Octo ber 7 , 1 9 —.

Build s-th e-F ir e t o S m old er i n P ris o n WELLPIN IT , W ASH IN GTO N— Thom as Build s-th e- Fir e , th e se lf -p ro cla im ed v is io nary o f th e S pokan e T rib e, was se n te n ced to day to tw o co ncu rre n t lif e te rm s in th e Walla W alla S ta te P en ite n tia ry . H is m an y s u pporte rs b attle d with p olic e f o r o ver e ig ht h ours f o llo w in g t h e v erd ic t.

U.S . D is tr ic t J u dge J a m es W rig ht a sk ed , “ D o y ou h av e an yth in g you w an t to sa y now , M r. Build s-th e-F ir e ?” Build s-th e-F ir e s im ply s h ook h is h ead n o a n d w as le d a w ay by p ris o n o ffic ia ls .

Wrig ht to ld Build s-th e-F ir e th at th e new fe d era l se n te n cin g guid elin es “re q uir e th e im positio n of a lif e se n te n ce fo r ra cia lly m otiv ate d m urd er.” There is no possib ility fo r paro le , sa id U.S . Pro se cu tin g A tto rn ey, Adolp h D . J im , a n e n ro lle d m em ber o f th e Y ak im a In dia n Natio n.

“T he o nly a p peal I h av e i s f o r j u stic e,” B uild s-th e-F ir e re p orte d ly s a id a s h e w as tr a n sp orte d a w ay fro m th is s to ry an d i n to t h e n ex t.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Thom as B uild s-th e-F ir e s a t q uie tly a s th e b us tr a v ele d d ow n th e hig hw ay to w ard W alla W alla S ta te P en ite n tia ry . T here w ere s ix oth er p ris o ners : f o ur A fric an m en , o ne C hic an o, a n d a w hite m an fro m t h e s m alle st t o w n i n t h e s ta te .

“I k now w ho y ou a re ,” t h e C hic an o s a id t o T hom as. “ Y ou’re th at I n dia n g uy d id a ll t h e t a lk in g.” “Y eah ,” one of th e Afric an m en sa id . “Y ou’re th at sto ry te lle r. T ell u s s o m e s to rie s, c h ie f, g iv e u s t h e s c o op.” Thom as l o oked a t t h ese f iv e m en w ho s h are d h is s k in c o lo r, at t h e w hite m an w ho s h are d t h is b us w hic h w as g oin g t o d eliv er th em i n to a n ew k in d o f r e se rv atio n, b arrio , g hetto , l o ggin g-to w n tin sh ack . H e th en lo oked out th e w in dow , th ro ugh th e ste el gra te s o n th e w in dow s, a t th e f re ed om ju st o uts id e th e g la ss. H e sa w w heat fie ld s, b odie s o f w ate r, a n d b odie s o f d ark -s k in ned work ers p ullin g f ru it f ro m t r e es a n d s w eat f ro m t h in a ir .

Thom as c lo se d h is e y es a n d t o ld t h is s to ry .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" DIS T A NCES A ll In dia ns m ust dance, every w here , keep on dancin g. P re tty s o on i n n ext s p rin g G re a t S pir it c o m e. H e b rin g b ack a ll g am e o f e very k in d. T he g am e b e t h ic k e very w here . A ll d ea d I n dia ns c o m e b ack a nd liv e a gain . O ld b lin d In dia n s e e a gain a nd g et y o ung a nd h ave fin e tim e. W hen G re a t S pir it c o m es th is w ay, th en a ll t h e In dia ns g o to m ounta in s, h ig h u p a w ay fr o m w hite s. W hite s c a n’t h urt In dia ns th en . T hen w hile In dia ns w ay u p h ig h b ig f lo od c o m es lik e w ate r a nd a ll w hite p eo ple d ie , g et d ro w ned .

A fte r th at, wate r go aw ay and th en nobody but In dia ns e very w here a nd g am e a ll kin ds th ic k. T hen m ed ic in e m an te ll I n dia ns to s e n d w ord to a ll In dia ns to k eep u p d ancin g a nd th e g ood t im e w ill c o m e. I n dia ns w ho d on’t d ance, w ho d on’t b elie ve i n t h is w ord , w ill g ro w l ittle , j u st a bout a f o ot h ig h, a nd s ta y t h at w ay. S om e o f t h em w ill b e t u rn ed i n to w ood a nd h unte d i n f ir e .

—Wovoka, t h e P aiu te G host D an ce M essia h A FT ER T H IS H APPE N ED , a fte r i t b eg an , I d ecid ed C uste r c o uld h av e, m ust h av e, p re sse d th e b utto n, c u t d ow n a ll th e tr e es, o pen ed u p h ole s in th e o zo ne, flo oded th e e arth . S in ce m ost o f th e w hite m en d ie d a n d m ost o f th e In dia n s liv ed , I d ecid ed o nly C uste r " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" co uld hav e done so m eth in g th at back w ard . O r m ay be it w as becau se t h e G host D an ce f in ally w ork ed .

Last nig ht w e burn ed an oth er house . T he T rib al C ouncil has ru le d th at a n yth in g to d o w ith th e w hite s h as to b e d estr o yed .

Som etim es w hile w e a re c arry in g f u rn itu re o ut o f a h ouse to b e burn ed , a ll o f u s n ak ed , I h av e t o l a u gh o ut l o ud. I w onder i f t h is is h ow i t l o oked a ll t h ose y ears a g o w hen w e s a v ag e I n dia n s w ere sla u ghte rin g t h ose h elp le ss s e ttle rs . W e m ust h av e b een f re ezin g, burie d b y c o ld t h en , t o o.

I f o und a little tr a n sis to r r a d io in a c lo se t. I t’s o ne o f th ose yello w w ate rp ro of ra d io s th at ch ild re n alw ay s u se d to h av e. I know th at m ost o f th e e le ctr ic al c ir c u itr y w as d estr o yed , a ll th e batte rie s d ead , a ll th e w ir e s sh orte d , a ll th e d am s b urs t, b ut I wonder if th is ra d io s till w ork s. It w as h id den a w ay in a c lo se t under a p ile o f o ld q uilts , s o m ay be it w as p ro te cte d . I w as to o sc are d to tu rn it o n, th ough. W hat w ould I h ear? F arm re p orts , sp orts s c o re s, s ile n ce?

There ’s t h is w om an I l o ve, T re m ble D an cer, b ut s h e’s o ne o f t h e Urb an s. U rb an s a re t h e c ity I n dia n s w ho s u rv iv ed a n d m ad e t h eir way o ut t o t h e r e se rv atio n a fte r i t a ll f e ll a p art. T here m ust h av e been o ver a h undre d w hen th ey fir s t a rriv ed , b ut m ost o f th em hav e d ie d sin ce. N ow th ere a re o nly a d ozen U rb an s le ft, a n d "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" th ey ’re all sic k . T he re ally sic k o nes lo ok lik e th ey are fiv e hundre d y ears o ld . T hey lo ok lik e th ey h av e liv ed fo re v er; th ey lo ok l ik e t h ey ’ll d ie s o on.

Tre m ble D an cer is n ’t s ic k y et, b ut s h e d oes h av e b urn s a n d sc ars a ll o ver h er l e g s. W hen s h e d an ces a ro und t h e f ir e a t n ig ht, sh e s h ak es fro m th e p ain . O nce w hen s h e fe ll, I c au ght h er a n d we lo oked h ard a t e ach o th er. I th ought I c o uld s e e h alf o f h er lif e , so m eth in g I co uld re m em ber, so m eth in g I co uld nev er fo rg et.

The S kin s, In dia n s w ho liv ed o n th e re se rv atio n w hen it hap pen ed , c an n ev er m arry U rb an s. T he T rib al C ouncil m ad e t h at ru le b ecau se o f th e s ic k ness in th e U rb an s. O ne o f th e o rig in al Urb an s w as p re g nan t w hen sh e a rriv ed o n th e re se rv atio n a n d gav e b ir th to a m onste r. T he T rib al C ouncil d oesn ’t w an t th at to hap pen a g ain .

Som etim es I r id e m y c lu m sy h ors e o ut t o N oah C hir a p kin ’s t ip i.

He’s th e o nly S kin I k now th at h as tr a v ele d o ff th e re se rv atio n sin ce i t h ap pen ed .

“T here w as n o s o und,” h e t o ld m e o nce. “ I r o de f o r d ay s a n d day s b ut t h ere w ere n o c ars m ovin g, n o p la n es, n o b ulld ozers , n o tr e es. I w alk ed th ro ugh a c ity th at w as e m pty , w alk ed f ro m o ne sid e t o t h e o th er, a n d i t t o ok m e a s e co nd. I j u st b lin ked m y e y es "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" an d t h e c ity w as g one, b eh in d m e. I f o und a s in gle p la n t, a b la ck flo w er, in th e sh ad ow o f L ittle F alls D am . It w as fo rty y ears befo re I f o und a n oth er o ne, g ro w in g b etw een th e w alls o f a n o ld house o n t h e c o ast.” Last n ig ht I d re am ed a b out t e le v is io n. I w oke u p c ry in g.

The w eath er is c h an ged , c h an gin g, b eco m in g n ew . A t n ig ht it is co ld , s o c o ld th at fin gers c an fre eze in to a fa ce th at is to uch ed .

Durin g t h e d ay, o ur s u n h old s u s t ig ht a g ain st t h e g ro und. A ll t h e old p eo ple d ie , c h oosin g to d ro w n in th eir o w n w ate r r a th er th an die o f t h ir s t. A ll t h eir b odie s a re e v il, t h e T rib al C ouncil d ecid ed .

We b urn th e b odie s o n th e fo otb all fie ld , o n th e fif ty -y ard lin e one w eek , i n a n e n d z o ne t h e n ex t. I h ear r u m ors t h at r e la tiv es o f th e d ead m ig ht b e k ille d a n d b urn ed , to o. T he T rib al C ouncil decid ed it’s a w hite m an ’s dis e ase in th eir blo od. It’s a wris tw atc h th at h as f a lle n b etw een th eir r ib s, s lo w in g, s to ppin g.

I’m h ap py m y g ra n dpare n ts a n d p are n ts d ie d b efo re a ll o f th is hap pen ed . I ’m h ap py I ’m a n o rp han .

Som etim es T re m ble D an cer w aits f o r m e a t t h e t r e e, a ll w e h av e le ft. W e ta k e o ff o ur c lo th es, lo in clo th , b ox d re ss. W e c lim b th e bra n ch es o f t h e t r e e a n d h old e ach o th er, w atc h in g f o r t h e T rib al Council. S om etim es h er sk in w ill fla k e, fa ll o ff , flo at to th e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" gro und. S om etim es I ta ste p arts o f h er b re ak in g o ff in to m y mouth . I t i s t h e t a ste o f b lo od, d ust, s a p , s u n.

“M y le g s a re le av in g m e,” T re m ble D an cer to ld m e o nce. “ T hen it w ill b e m y a rm s, m y e y es, m y f in gers , t h e s m all o f m y b ack .

“I a m je alo us o f w hat y ou h av e,” s h e to ld m e, p oin tin g a t th e p arts o f m y b ody a n d t e llin g m e w hat t h ey d o.

Last n ig ht w e b urn ed a n oth er h ouse . I sa w a p ain tin g o f Je su s Chris t l y in g o n t h e f lo or.

He’s w hite . J e su s i s w hite .

While th e h ouse w as b urn in g, I c o uld se e fla m es, c o lo rs , ev ery co lo r but w hite . I don’t know w hat it m ean s, don’t unders ta n d f ir e , t h e b urn s o n T re m ble D an cer’s l e g s, t h e a sh l e ft to c o ol a fte r t h e h ouse h as b een r e d uced .

I w an t t o k now w hy J e su s i s n ’t a f la m e.

Last n ig ht I d re am ed a b out t e le v is io n. I w oke u p c ry in g.

While I lie in m y tip i p re te n din g to b e a sle ep u nder th e h alf - bla n kets o f d og a n d c at s k in , I h ear th e h ors e s e x plo din g. I h ear th e s c re am s o f c h ild re n w ho a re t a k en .

The O th ers h av e co m e fro m a th ousa n d y ears ag o, th eir bra id s g ra y a n d b ro ken w ith a g e. T hey h av e c o m e w ith a rro w , "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" bow , s to ne a x , l a rg e h an ds.

“D o y ou re m em ber m e?” th ey sin g ab ove th e n ois e , o ur nois e .

“D o y ou s till fe ar m e?” th ey s h out a b ove th e s in gin g, o ur sin gin g.

I r u n f ro m m y tip i a cro ss th e g ro und to w ard th e tr e e, c lim b th e b ra n ch es to w atc h th e O th ers . T here is o ne, ta lle r th an th e clo uds, w ho d oesn ’t r id e a p ony, w ho r u ns a cro ss t h e d ust, f a ste r th an m y m em ory .

Som etim es t h ey c o m e b ack . T he O th ers , c arry in g s a lm on, w ate r.

Once, th ey to ok N oah C hir a p kin , tie d h im d ow n to th e g ro und, poure d w ate r d ow n h is t h ro at u ntil h e d ro w ned .

The ta lle st O th er, th e g ia n t, to ok T re m ble D an cer aw ay, bro ught h er b ack w ith a b ig b elly . S he s m elle d o f s a lt, o ld b lo od.

She g av e b ir th , s a lm on f lo pped f ro m h er, s a lm on g ro w in g l a rg er.

When s h e d ie d , h er h an ds b le d s e aw ate r f ro m t h e p alm s.

At t h e T rib al C ouncil m eetin g l a st n ig ht, J u das W ild S hoe g av e a watc h h e f o und t o t h e t r ib al c h air m an .

“A w hite m an a rtif a ct, a sin ,” th e c h air m an sa id , p ut th e watc h i n h is p ouch .

I re m em ber w atc h es. They m easu re d tim e in se co nds, min ute s, h ours . T hey m easu re d tim e e x actly , c o ld ly . I m easu re "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" tim e w ith m y b re ath , t h e s o und o f m y h an ds a cro ss m y o w n s k in .

I m ak e m is ta k es.

Last n ig ht I h eld m y t r a n sis to r r a d io i n m y h an ds, g en tly , a s i f i t were a liv e. I e x am in ed i t c lo se ly , s e arc h in g f o r s o m e f la w , s o m e obvio us d am ag e. B ut th ere w as n oth in g, n o im perfe ctio n I c o uld se e. If th ere w as so m eth in g w ro ng, it w as n ot ev id en t b y th e sm ooth , h ard p la stic o f t h e o uts id e. A ll t h e m is ta k es w ould b e o n th e i n sid e, w here y ou c o uld n’t s e e, c o uld n’t r e ach .

I h eld th at ra d io an d tu rn ed it o n, tu rn ed th e v olu m e to max im um , u ntil a ll I c o uld h ear w as th e in a n d o ut, in a g ain , o f my b re ath .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" JE SU S C H RIS T ’S H ALF- B R O TH ER I S A LIV E A ND W ELL O N T H E S P O KANE IN DIA N R ESE R VATIO N 1966 R OSE M ARY M ORN IN GDOVE G AVE B IR TH t o a b oy t o day a n d s e ein g a s h ow it w as n early C hris tm as a n d s h e k ep t te llin g e v ery one s h e w as s till a v irg in e v en t h ough F ra n k M an y H ors e s s a id i t w as h is w e a ll ju st f ig ure d it w as a n a ccid en t. A nyhow s h e g av e b ir th to h im b ut h e c am e o ut a ll b lu e a n d t h ey c o uld n’t g et h im t o b re ath e f o r a lo ng tim e b ut h e fin ally d id a n d R ose m ary M orn in gD ove n am ed h im — — w hic h i s u npro nounceab le i n I n dia n a n d E nglis h b ut it m ean s: He W ho C ra w ls S ile n tly T hro ugh th e G ra ss w ith a S m all B ow a nd O ne B ad A rro w H untin g f o r E nough D eer t o F eed t h e W hole T rib e.

We j u st c all h im J a m es.

1967 " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" Fra n k M an y H ors e s an d Leste r Falls A part an d I w ere drin kin g b eers in th e B re ak aw ay B ar p la y in g p ool a n d ta lk in g sto rie s w hen w e h eard t h e s ir e n s. I n dia n s g et a ll e x cite d w hen w e hear sir e n s becau se it m ean s fir e s an d it m ean s th ey need fir e fig hte rs to put out th e fir e s an d it m ean s w e get to be fir e fig hte rs an d it m ean s w e g et p aid to b e fir e fig hte rs . H ell so m eb ody a lw ay s s ta rts a f ir e d ow n a t th e I n dia n b uria l g ro unds an d it w as ab out tim e fo r th e T hir te en th A nnual A ll- In dia n Buria l G ro unds F ir e s o F ra n k a n d L este r a n d I ra n d ow n to th e fir e s ta tio n e x pectin g t o g et h ir e d b ut w e s e e s m oke c o m in g f ro m Com modity V illa g e w here a ll th e r e ally p oor I n dia n s liv e s o w e ru n d ow n th ere in ste ad an d it w as R ose m ary M orn in gD ove’s house th at w as o n f ir e . I n dia n s g ot b uck ets o f w ate r b ut th is f ir e was w ay to o b ig an d w e co uld h ear a b ab y cry in g an d F ra n k Man y H ors e s g ets a ll e x cite d e v en th ough it’s L illia n M an y’s bab y r ig ht n ex t to u s. B ut F ra n k k now s J a m es is in th e h ouse s o he g oes r u nnin g i n b efo re a n y o f u s c an s to p h im a n d p re tty s o on I s e e F ra n k le an in g o ut th e u psta ir s w in dow h old in g J a m es a n d th ey ’re b oth a little o n fir e an d F ra n k th ro w s Ja m es o ut th e win dow a n d I ’m r u nnin g m y a ss o ver t o c atc h h im b efo re h e h its th e g ro und m ak in g lik e a h ig h s c h ool fo otb all h ero a g ain b ut I mis s h im ju st b are ly s lip pin g th ro ugh m y f in gers a n d J a m es h its th e g ro und h ard a n d I p ic k h im u p r ig ht a w ay a n d s la p t h e f la m es "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" out w ith m y h an ds a ll th e w hile e x pectin g J a m es to b e d ead b ut he’s j u st l o okin g a t m e a lm ost n orm al e x cep t t h e t o p o f h is h ead lo oks a ll d en te d i n l ik e a b eer c an .

He w asn ’t c ry in g.

1967 I w en t d ow n to th e re se rv atio n h osp ita l to s e e h ow J a m es an d F ra n k a n d R ose m ary w ere d oin g a n d I g ot d ru nk j u st b efo re I wen t s o I w ould n’t b e s c are d o f a ll t h e w hite w alls a n d t h e s o und of a rm s a n d le g s g ettin g s a w ed o ff d ow n in th e b ase m en t. B ut I heard th e sc re am s an yw ay an d th ey w ere In dia n sc re am s an d th ose c an t r a v el f o re v er l ik e a ll a ro und t h e w orld a n d s o m etim es fro m a h undre d y ears a g o s o I c lo se m y e ars a n d h id e m y e y es an d ju st lo ok d ow n a t th e c le an c le an flo ors . O h Je su s I’m so dru nk I w an t t o p ra y b ut I d on’t a n d b efo re I c an c h an ge m y m in d ab out c o m in g h ere M ose s M orn in gD ove p ulls m e a sid e to te ll me F ra n k a n d R ose m ary h av e d ie d a n d s in ce I s a v ed J a m es’s l if e I sh ould be th e one w ho ra is e s him . M ose s sa y s it’s In dia n tr a d itio n but so m eh ow sin ce M ose s is goin g on ab out tw o hundre d y ears o ld a n d still d rin kin g a n d sc re w in g lik e h e w as tw en ty I fig ure h e’s ju st tr y in g to g et o ut o f h is g ra n dfa th erly dutie s. I d on’t r e ally w an t a n y o f i t a n d I ’m s ic k a n d t h e h osp ita l "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" is m ak in g m e s ic k er a n d m y h eart is s h ak in g a n d c o nfu se d lik e when th e n urs e w ak es y ou u p in th e m id dle o f th e n ig ht to g iv e you a s le ep in g p ill b ut I k now J a m es w ill e n d u p s o m e I n dia n k id at a w elf a re h ouse m ak in g b ask ets a n d w earin g i tc h y c lo th es a n d I’m o nly tw en ty m yse lf b ut I ta k e o ne lo ok a t J a m es a ll lu m py an d pota to lo okin g an d I lo ok in th e m ir ro r an d se e m yse lf hold in g h im a n d I t a k e h im h om e.

Tonig ht t h e m ir ro r w ill f o rg iv e m y f a ce.

1967 All d ark to nig ht an d Ja m es co uld n’t sle ep an d ju st k ep t lo okin g a t th e c eilin g so I w alk o n d ow n to th e fo otb all fie ld carry in g J a m es s o w e c an b oth w atc h th e s ta rs lo okin g d ow n a t th e r e se rv atio n. I p ut J a m es d ow n o n t h e f if ty -y ard l in e a n d I r u n an d r u n a cro ss th e f ro zen g ra ss w is h in g th ere w as s n ow e n ough to m ak e a tr a il an d le t th e w orld know I w as th ere in th e morn in g. T hin kin g I c o uld s p ell o ut m y n am e o r J a m es’s n am e or e v ery n am e I c o uld th in k o f u ntil I s te p ped o n e v ery p ie ce o f sn ow o n th e f ie ld lik e it w as e v ery p ie ce o f th e w orld o r a t le ast ev ery p ie ce o f th is r e se rv atio n th at h as s o m an y p ie ces it m ig ht ju st b e th e w orld . I w an t to w alk c ir c le s a ro und Ja m es g ettin g clo se r a n d c lo se r to h im in a n ew d an ce a n d a b ette r k in d o f "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" healin g w hic h c o uld m ak e J a m es ta lk a n d w alk b efo re h e le arn s to c ry . B ut h e’s n ot c ry in g a n d h e’s n ot w alk in g a n d h e’s n ot ta lk in g a n d I s e e h im s o m etim es lik e a n o ld m an p asse d o ut in th e b ack o f a r e se rv atio n v an w ith s h it i n h is p an ts a n d a b atte re d watc h i n h is p ock et t h at a lw ay s s h ow s t h e s a m e d am n t im e. S o I pic k J a m es u p f ro m th e c o ld a n d th e g ra ss th at w aits f o r s p rin g an d t h e s u n t o c h an ge i ts w orld b ut I c an o nly w alk h om e t h ro ugh th e co ld w ith an oth er fu tu re o n m y b ack an d Ja m es’s fu tu re tu ck ed in m y p ock et lik e a n e m pty w alle t o r a n ew sp ap er th at fe ed s t h e f ir e a n d n ev er g ets r e ad .

Som etim es a ll o f t h is i s h om e.

1968 The w orld c h an gin g th e w orld c h an gin g th e w orld . I d on’t watc h th e T V a n ym ore s in ce it e x plo ded a n d le ft a h ole in th e wall. T he w oodpile d on’t d re am o f m e n o m ore . I t s its th ere b y th e ax an d th ey ta lk ab out th e co ld th at w aits in co rn ers an d su rp ris e s y ou o n a w arm a lm ost s p rin g d ay. T oday I s to od a t th e win dow f o r h ours a n d th en I to ok th e b ask etb all f ro m in sid e th e wood s to ve a n d s h ot b ask ets a t th e h oop n aile d to a p in e tr e e in th e y ard . I sh ot a n d sh ot u ntil th e c o ld m ean t I w as p ro te cte d becau se m y s k in w as to o w arm to f e el a n y o f it. I s h ot a n d s h ot "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" until m y f in gertip s b le d a n d m y f e et a ch ed a n d m y h air s tu ck to th e sk in o f m y b are b ack . Ja m es w aite d b y th e p orc h w ith h is han ds in th e d ir t a n d h is f e et s tu ck in to le ath er s h oes I f o und in th e d um p u nder a w ash in g m ach in e. I c an ’t b elie v e th e d eta ils I am f o rc ed t o r e m em ber w ith e ach d ay t h at J a m es c o m es c lo se r t o ta lk in g. I c h an ge h is c lo th es a n d h is d ir ty p an ts a n d I w ash h is fa ce a n d t h e c re v ic es o f h is l ittle b ody u ntil h e s h in es l ik e a n ew ch eck .

This i s m y r e lig io n.

1968 Seem s lik e th e c o ld w ould n ev er g o a w ay a n d w in te r w ould be l ik e t h e b otto m o f m y f e et b ut t h en i t i s g one i n o ne n ig ht a n d in its p la ce c o m es th e s u n s o la rg e a n d la u ghab le . J a m es s ittin g up i n h is c h air s o y oung a n d h e w on’t t a lk a n d t h e d octo rs a t t h e In dia n c lin ic s a y i t’s w ay t o o e arly f o r h im t o b e t a lk in g a n yhow but I s e e i n h is e y es s o m eth in g a n d I s e e i n h is e y es a v oic e a n d I se e in h is ey es a w hole n ew se t o f w ord s. It ain ’t In dia n o r Englis h a n d i t a in ’t c ash r e g is te r a n d i t a in ’t t r a ff ic l ig ht o r s p eed bum p a n d it a in ’t w in dow o r d oor. L ate o ne d ay Ja m es a n d I watc h th e s u n f ly a cro ss th e s k y lik e a b ask etb all o n f ir e u ntil it fa lls d ow n c o m ple te ly a n d l a n ds i n B en ja m in L ak e w ith a s p la sh "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" an d s h ak es t h e g ro und a n d e v en w ak es u p L este r F alls A part w ho th ought i t w as h is f a th er c o m e b ack t o s la p h is f a ce a g ain .

Sum mer c o m in g l ik e a c ar f ro m d ow n t h e h ig hw ay .

1968 Ja m es m ust k now h ow to c ry b ecau se h e h asn ’t c rie d y et an d I k now h e’s w aitin g f o r th at o ne m om en t to c ry lik e it w as fiv e h undre d y ears o f te ars . H e a in ’t w alk ed a n yw here a n d th ere are n o b lis te rs o n h is s o le s b ut th ere a re d re am s w orn c le an in to his r ib c ag e a n d it s h ak es a n d s h ak es w ith e ach b re ath a n d I s e e he’s tr y in g to ta lk w hen h e g ra b s a t th e a ir b eh in d h is h ead o r sta re s u p a t t h e s k y s o h ard . A ll o f t h is t e m pera tu re r is in g h ot a n d I s e t J a m es d ow n in th e s h ad e b y th e b ask etb all c o urt a n d I p la y an d I p la y u ntil th e s w eat o f m y b ody m ak es it r a in e v ery w here on th e r e se rv atio n. I p la y a n d I p la y u ntil th e m usic o f m y s h oes ag ain st p av em en t s o unds lik e e v ery d ru m . T hen I ’m h om e a lo ne an d I w atc h t h e c o ck ro ach es l iv e t h eir c o m plic ate d l iv es.

I h old J a m es w ith o ne a rm a n d m y b ask etb all w ith t h e o th er arm a n d I h old e v ery th in g e ls e i n sid e m y w hole b ody.

1969 I t a k e J a m es t o t h e I n dia n c lin ic b ecau se h e a in ’t c ry in g y et "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" an d becau se all he does so m etim es is sta re an d sta re an d so m etim es h e’ll w ra p h is arm s aro und th e str a y d ogs an d le t th em c arry h im a ro und th e y ard . H e’s s tr o ng e n ough to h old h is body o ff th e g ro und b ut h e a in ’t s tr o ng e n ough to lif t h is to ngue fro m th e b otto m o f h is m outh to u se th e w ord s f o r lo ve o r a n ger or h unger o r g ood m orn in g. M ay be h e’s o nly a f e w y ears o ld b ut he’s g ot e y es th at a re a n cie n t a n d o ld a n d d ark lik e a c astle o r a la k e w here th e tu rtle s g o to d ie an d so m etim es ev en to liv e.

May be h e’s g oin g t o h ow l o ut t h e w ord s w hen I l e ast e x pect i t o r wan t i t a n d h e’ll y ell o ut a c u ss w ord i n c h urc h o r a p ra y er i n t h e mid dle o f a g ro cery sto re . T oday I m oved th ro ugh to w n an d walk ed a n d w alk ed p ast th e p eo ple w ho h ad n’t se en m e in so lo ng m ay be fo r m onth s a n d th ey a sk ed q uestio ns a b out m e a n d Ja m es a n d n o o ne b oth ere d t o k nock o n t h e d oor a n d l o ok f o r t h e an sw ers . I t’s j u st m e a n d J a m es w alk in g a n d w alk in g e x cep t h e’s on m y b ack a n d h is e y es a re lo okin g p ast th e p eo ple w ho a re lo okin g p ast u s fo r th e c o yote o f o ur s o ul a n d th e w olv erin e o f our h eart a n d t h e c ra zy c ra zy m an t h at t o uch es e v ery I n dia n w ho sp en ds t o o m uch t im e a lo ne. I s ta n d i n t h e T ra d in g P ost t o uch in g th e c an ned g oods a n d h opin g fo r a v is io n o f a ll th e m ile s u ntil Sey m our c o m es in w ith a tw en ty -d olla r b ill a n d b uys a c o uple case s o f b eer a n d w e d rin k a n d d rin k a ll n ig ht lo ng. J a m es g ets han ded f ro m w om an to w om an a n d f ro m m an to m an a n d a f e w "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" ch ild re n h old t h is c h ild o f m in e w ho d oesn ’t c ry o r r e co gniz e t h e hum an b ein g in h is o w n b ody. A ll th e d ru nks h ap py to s e e m e dru nk a g ain a n d b ack fro m th e w ag on a n d I fe ll o ff th at w ag on an d b ro ke m y a ss a n d d re am s a n d I w ak e u p t h e n ex t m orn in g i n a f ie ld w atc h in g a c o w w atc h m e. W ith p is s in m y p an ts I m ak e th e lo ng w alk h om e p ast th e H UD h ouse s a n d a b an doned c ars an d p ast th e p ow wow g ro unds a n d th e A sse m bly o f G od w here th e sin le ss sin g lik e th ey c o uld fo rg iv e u s a ll. I g et h om e a n d Ja m es i s t h ere w ith S uzy S ong f e ed in g h im a n d r o ck in g h im l ik e a b oat o r a t h re e-le g ged c h air .

I s a y n o a n d I t a k e J a m es a w ay a n d p ut h im i n h is c rib a n d I move in to S uzy ’s a rm s a n d le t h er r o ck a n d r o ck m e a w ay f ro m my s to m ach a n d t h in s k in .

1969 Long d ay s a n d n ig hts m ean th e s k y lo oks th e s a m e a ll th e tim e a n d J a m es h as n o w ord s y et b ut h e d re am s a n d k ic k s in h is sle ep a n d s o m etim es k ic k s h is b ody a g ain st m y b ody a s h e s le ep s in m y a rm s. N obody d re am s a ll th e tim e b ecau se it w ould h urt to o m uch but Ja m es keep s dre am in g an d sle ep in g th ro ugh a su m mer r a in sto rm a n d h eat lig htn in g r e ach in g d ow n a h an d a n d th en a f is t to te ar a tr e e in h alf a n d th en to te ar m y e y es in h alf "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" with th e lig ht. W e h ad v en is o n fo r d in ner. W e a te d eer a n d its wild ta ste sh ook m e up an d dow n m y sp in e. Ja m es sp it his mouth fu l o ut o n t h e f lo or a n d t h e d ogs c am e t o f in is h i t u p a n d I ate a n d a te a n d t h e d ogs a te a n d a te w hat t h ey c o uld f in d a n d t h e deer g re w in m y s to m ach . T he d eer g re w h orn s a n d h ooves a n d sk in a n d e y es t h at p ush ed a t m y r ib c ag e a n d I a te a n d a te u ntil I co uld n ot f e el a n yth in g b ut m y s to m ach e x pan din g a n d s tr e tc h ed fu ll.

All m y lif e th e d ay s I re m em ber m ost w ith ev ery d eta il sh arp a n d c le ar a re t h e d ay s w hen m y s to m ach w as f u ll.

1969 We p la y ed o ur f ir s t b ask etb all g am e o f t h e s e aso n t o nig ht i n th e c o m munity c en te r a n d I h ad S uzy S ong w atc h J a m es w hile I pla y ed a n d a ll o f u s w arrio rs r o arin g a g ain st th e a ir a n d th e n ets an d t h e c lo ck t h at d id n’t w ork a n d o ur m em orie s a n d o ur d re am s an d th e tw en tie th -c en tu ry h ors e s w e c alle d o ur le g s. W e p la y ed so m e N ez P erc é te am a n d th ey ra n lik e th ey w ere s till ru nnin g fro m th e c av alr y a n d th ey w ere k ic k in g th e s h it o ut o f u s a g ain when I s u dden ly s te al th e b all f ro m th eir h alf -w hite p oin t g uard an d d riv e a ll t h e w ay t o t h e b uck et. I j u m p i n t h e a ir p la n nin g t o dunk i t w hen t h e h alf -w hite p oin t g uard r u ns u nder m e k nock in g "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" my a ss to th e f lo or a n d w hen I la n d I h ear a c ru nch a n d m y le g ben ds in h alf th e w ro ng w ay. T hey ta k e m e to th e re se rv atio n hosp ita l a n d l a te r o n t h ey t e ll m e m y l e g h as e x plo ded a n d I c an ’t pla y b all f o r a l o ng t im e o r m ay be f o re v er a n d w hen S uzy c o m es by w ith J a m es a n d th ey a sk m e if th is is m y w if e a n d s o n a n d I te ll th em y es a n d J a m es s till d oesn ’t m ak e a n ois e a n d s o th ey ask m e h ow o ld h e is . I te ll th em h e’s a lm ost f o ur y ears o ld a n d th ey s a y h is p hysic al d ev elo pm en t is s lo w b ut th at’s n orm al f o r an I n dia n c h ild . A nyhow I h av e to h av e a n o pera tio n a n d a ll b ut sin ce I d on’t h av e th e m oney o r th e s tr e n gth o r th e m em ory a n d it’s n ot c o vere d b y In dia n H ealth I ju st g et u p a n d w alk h om e alm ost c ry in g b ecau se m y le g a n d lif e h urt s o b ad . S uzy s ta y s with m e t h at n ig ht a n d i n t h e d ark s h e t o uch es m y k nee a n d a sk s me h ow m uch it h urts a n d I te ll h er it h urts m ore th an I c an ta lk ab out s o s h e k is se s a ll m y s c ars a n d s h e h uddle s u p c lo se to m e an d s h e’s w arm a n d s h e t a lk s i n to m y e ar c lo se . S he i s n ’t a lw ay s ask in g questio ns an d so m etim es sh e has th e an sw ers . In th e morn in g I w ak e u p b efo re h er a n d I h obble in to th e k itc h en a n d mak e s o m e c o ffe e a n d f ix a c o uple o f b ow ls o f c o rn fla k es a n d w e sit in bed eatin g to geth er w hile Ja m es lie s still in his crib watc h in g t h e c eilin g s o S uzy a n d I w atc h t h e c eilin g t o o.

The o rd in ary c an b e l ik e m ed ic in e.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" 1970 Early sn ow th is y ear a n d Ja m es a n d I sit a t h om e b y th e sto ve b ecau se I c an ’t w alk a n yw here w ith m y b ad k nee a n d s in ce it i s s n ow in g s o h ard o uts id e n obody c o uld d riv e o ut t o g et u s b ut I k now so m eb ody m ust b e th in kin g ab out u s b ecau se if th ey were n ’t w e’d ju st d is a p pear ju st lik e th ose In dia n s w ho u se d to clim b th e pueb lo s. T hose In dia n s dis a p peare d w ith fo od still co okin g i n t h e p ot a n d a ir w aitin g t o b e b re ath ed a n d t h ey t u rn ed in to b ir d s o r d ust o r t h e b lu e o f t h e s k y o r t h e y ello w o f t h e s u n.

There t h ey w ere a n d s u dden ly t h ey w ere f o rg otte n f o r j u st a se co nd a n d f o r j u st a s e co nd n obody t h ought a b out t h em a n d t h en th ey w ere g one.

1970 I t o ok J a m es d ow n t o t h e r e se rv atio n h osp ita l a g ain b ecau se he w as a lm ost f iv e y ears o ld a n d s till h ad n’t b oth ere d t o t a lk y et or c ra w l o r c ry o r e v en m ove w hen I p ut h im o n th e flo or a n d once I e v en d ro pped h im a n d h is h ead w as b le ed in g a n d h e d id n’t mak e a s o und. T hey lo oked h im o ver a n d s a id th ere w as n oth in g wro ng w ith h im a n d th at h e’s ju st a little s lo w d ev elo pin g a n d th at’s w hat th e d octo rs a lw ay s s a y a n d th ey ’v e b een s a y in g th at "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" ab out I n dia n s f o r f iv e h undre d y ears . J e su s I s a y d on’t y ou k now th at J a m es w an ts to d an ce a n d to s in g a n d to p ound a d ru m s o hard it h urts y our e ars a n d h e a in ’t e v er g oin g to d ro p a n e ag le fe ath er a n d h e’s a lw ay s g oin g to b e r e sp ectf u l to e ld ers a t le ast th e I n dia n e ld ers a n d h e’s g oin g t o c h an ge t h e w orld . H e’s g oin g to d ynam ite M ount R ush m ore o r h ija ck a p la n e a n d m ak e i t l a n d on th e re se rv atio n h ig hw ay. H e’s g oin g to b e a fa th er an d a moth er a n d a so n a n d a d au ghte r a n d a d og th at w ill p ull y ou fro m a r a g in g r iv er.

He’ll m ak e g old o ut o f c o m modity c h eese .

1970 Hap py bir th day Ja m es an d I’m in th e B re ak aw ay B ar drin kin g to o m an y beers w hen th e V ie tn am W ar co m es on te le v is io n. T he w hite p eo ple a lw ay s w an t to fig ht s o m eo ne a n d th ey a lw ay s g et th e d ark -s k in ned p eo ple to d o th e f ig htin g. A ll I know a b out th is w ar is w hat S ey m our to ld m e w hen h e c am e back f ro m h is t o ur o f d uty o ver t h ere a n d h e s a id a ll t h e g ooks h e kille d lo oked lik e u s an d S ey m our sa id ev ery sin gle g ook h e kille d lo oked e x actly lik e s o m eo ne h e k new o n th e re se rv atio n.

Anyhow I g o t o a C hris tm as p arty o ver a t J a n a W in d’s h ouse a n d le av e J a m es w ith m y a u ntie s o I c o uld g et r e ally d ru nk a n d n ot "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" hav e to w orry a b out c o m in g h om e fo r a fe w d ay s o r m ay be fo r th e re st o f m y lif e . W e a ll g et re ally d ru nk a n d J a n a’s o ld m an Ray c h alle n ges m e t o a g am e o f o ne-o n-o ne s in ce h e s a y s I ’m f o r sh it n ow a n d w as n ev er a n y g ood a n yw ay b ut I te ll h im I c an ’t sin ce m y k nee i s s c re w ed u p a n d b esid es t h ere ’s t w o f e et o f s n ow on t h e g ro und a n d w here a re w e g oin g t o p la y a n yhow ? R ay s a y s I’m c h ic k en sh it s o I te ll h im c o m e o n a n d w e d riv e o ver to th e hig h s c h ool to th e o uts id e c o urt a n d th ere ’s tw o f e et o f s n ow o n th e c o urt a n d w e c an ’t p la y b ut R ay s m ile s a n d p ulls o ut a b ottle of k ero se n e a n d p ours it a ll o ver th e c o urt a n d lig hts it u p a n d pre tty so on th e sn ow is all m elte d d ow n alo ng w ith m ost o f Leste r F alls A part’s p an ts s in ce h e w as s ta n din g to o c lo se to th e co urt w hen R ay lit th e fir e . A nyhow th e c o urt is c le ar a n d R ay an d I g o a t it a n d m y k nee o nly h urts a little a n d e v ery one w as ch eerin g u s o n a n d I c an ’t re m em ber w ho w on s in ce I w as to o dru nk a n d s o w as e v ery one e ls e . L ate r I h ear h ow R ay a n d J o se p h got a rre ste d fo r b eatin g s o m e w hite g uy h alf to d eath a n d I s a y th at R ay a n d J o se p h a re ju st k id s b ut S uzy s a y s n obody o n th e re se rv atio n is ev er a kid an d th at w e’re all born gro w n up an yw ay. I lo ok a t J a m es a n d I th in k m ay be S uzy is w ro ng a b out In dia n k id s b ein g b orn a d ults a n d th at m ay be Ja m es w as b orn th is w ay an d w an ts to sta y th is w ay lik e a b ab y b ecau se h e doesn ’t w an t t o g ro w u p a n d s e e a n d d o e v ery th in g w e a ll d o?

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" There a re a ll k in ds o f w ars .

1971 So m uch t im e a lo ne w ith a b ottle o f o ne k in d o r a n oth er a n d Ja m es a n d I r e m em ber n oth in g e x cep t th e la st d rin k a n d a d ru nk In dia n is lik e th e th in ker sta tu e ex cep t nobody puts a dru nk In dia n in a s p ecia l p la ce in fro nt o f a lib ra ry . F or m ost In dia n s th e o nly sp ecia l p la ce in fro nt o f a lib ra ry m ig ht b e a h eatin g gra te o r a p ie ce o f s u n-w arm ed c em en t b ut t h at’s a n o ld j o ke a n d I u se d to sle ep w ith m y b ooks in p ile s all o ver m y b ed an d so m etim es th ey w ere th e only th in g keep in g m e w arm an d alw ay s t h e o nly t h in g k eep in g m e a liv e.

Books a n d b eer a re t h e b est a n d w ors t d efe n se .

1971 Je sse W ild S hoe d ie d la st n ig ht a n d to day w as th e fu nera l an d u su ally th ere ’s a w ak e b ut n one o f u s h ad th e p atie n ce o r en erg y to m ourn f o r d ay s s o w e b urie d J e sse r ig ht a w ay a n d d ug th e hole deep becau se Je sse co uld fa n cy dan ce lik e G od had to uch ed h is f e et. A nyhow w e d ug th e h ole a ll d ay a n d s in ce th e gro und w as s till a little f ro zen w e k ep t d oin g th e k ero se n e tr ic k an d m eltin g t h e i c e a n d f ro st a n d w hen w e t h re w a m atc h i n to t h e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" botto m o f t h e g ra v e i t l o oked l ik e I s u ppose h ell m ust l o ok a n d i t was sc ary . T here w e w ere te n little In dia n s m ak in g a h ell o n earth f o r a f a n cy dan cer w ho a lr e ad y h ad e n ough o f th at s h it a n d pro bab ly w ould n’t w an t to hav e an y m ore of it an d I kep t wonderin g if m ay be w e s h ould ju st ta k e h is b ody h ig h u p in th e mounta in s an d bury him in th e sn ow th at nev er goes aw ay.

May be w e ju st so rt o f fre eze h im so h e d oesn ’t h av e to fe el an yth in g a n ym ore a n d e sp ecia lly n ot s o m e c ra zy i d eas o f h eav en or h ell. I d on’t k now a n yth in g a b out r e lig io n a n d I d on’t c o nfe ss my sin s to a n ybody e x cep t th e w alls a n d th e w ood sto ve a n d Ja m es w ho fo rg iv es e v ery th in g lik e a ro ck . H e a in ’t ta lk in g o r cry in g a t a ll a n d s o m etim es I s h ak e h im a little to o h ard o r y ell at h im o r le av e h im in h is c rib f o r h ours a ll a lo ne b ut h e n ev er mak es a so und. O ne nig ht I get so dru nk I le av e him at so m eb ody’s h ouse a n d fo rg et a ll a b out h im a n d c an y ou b la m e me? T he t r ib al p olic e d ra g m e i n to t h e c ell f o r a b an donm en t a n d I’m a sk in g th em w ho th ey ’re g oin g to a rre st f o r a b an donin g m e but th e w orld is s p in nin g a n d tu rn in g b ack o n its e lf lik e a s n ak e eatin g its o w n ta il. L ik e a sn ak e m y T V d in ner ris e s fro m th e ta b le th e n ex t d ay a n d s n ap s a t m y e y es a n d w ris ts a n d I a sk th e tr ib al c o p h ow l o ng I ’v e b een d ru nk a n d h e t e lls m e f o r m ost o f a year a n d I d on’t r e m em ber a n y o f i t. I ’v e g ot t h e D T’s s o b ad a n d th e w alls a re N azis m ak in g la m psh ad es o ut o f m y s k in a n d th e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" to ile t is a w hite m an in a w hite hood rid in g m e dow n on hors e b ack a n d t h e f lo or i s a s k in ny m an w ho w an ts t o t e ach m e a tr ic k h e’s le arn ed to d o w ith a k nif e a n d m y sh oes sq ueal a n d kic k a n d p ull m e d ow n in to th e d ead p ig p it o f m y im ag in atio n.

Oh J e su s I w ak e u p o n th e b otto m o f th at m ass g ra v e w ith th e bones o f g en era tio ns o f s la u ghte r a n d I c ra w l a n d d ig m y w ay u p th ro ugh la y ers a n d y ears o f th e lu nch sp ecia l. I d ig fo r h ours th ro ugh th e s k in a n d e y es a n d th e fre sh b lo od s o on e n ough a n d pull m yse lf t h ro ugh t h e e y e o f a s o w a n d p lu ck t h e m ag gots f ro m my h air a n d I w an t t o s c re am b ut I d on’t w an t t o o pen m y m outh an d t a ste a n d t a ste a n d t a ste .

Lik e t h e h ero in a d dic t s a id I j u st w an t t o b e p ure .

1971 Been in A .A . f o r a m onth b ecau se th at w as th e o nly w ay to keep J a m es w ith m e a n d m y a u ntie a n d S uzy S ong b oth m oved in to th e h ouse w ith m e to m ak e s u re I d on’t d rin k a n d to h elp ta k e c are o f J a m es. T hey s h ow th e s a m e o ld m ovie s in A .A . a n d it’s a lw ay s th e s a m e w hite g uy w ho a lm ost d estr o ys h is lif e a n d his w if e an d h is ch ild re n an d h is jo b b ut fin ally re aliz es th e alc o hol is k illin g h im a n d h e q uits o vern ig ht a n d s p en ds th e r e st of th e m ovie a n d th e re st o f h is w hole lif e a t a p ic n ic w ith h is "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" fa m ily a n d frie n ds a n d b oss a ll la u ghin g a n d sa y in g w e d id n’t ev en re co gniz e y ou b ack th en B ob a n d w e’re g la d to h av e y ou back D ad dy a n d w e’ll h ir e y ou b ack a t tw ic e th e s a la ry y ou o ld dog y ou. Y este rd ay I g et th is p ostc ard f ro m P in e R id ge a n d m y co usin s a y s a ll th e In dia n s th ere a re g one a n d d o I k now w here th ey w en t? I w rite b ack a n d t e ll h im t o l o ok i n t h e A .A . m eetin g an d t h en I a sk h im i f t h ere a re m ore b ir d s w ith e y es t h at l o ok l ik e his a n d I a sk h im i f t h e s k y i s m ore b lu e a n d t h e s u n m ore y ello w becau se th ose a re th e c o lo rs w e a ll b eco m e w hen w e d ie . I te ll him to s e arc h h is d re am s f o r a m an d re sse d in r e d w ith a r e d tie an d re d s h oes a n d a h aw k h ead . I te ll h im th at m an is fe ar a n d will e at y ou lik e a s a n dw ic h a n d w ill e at y ou lik e a n ic e c re am co ne an d w ill nev er be fu ll an d he’ll co m e fo r you in your dre am s lik e h e w as a b ad m ovie . I te ll h im to tu rn h is te le v is io n to w ard th e w all an d to stu dy th e w alls fo r im perfe ctio ns an d th ose c o uld b e h is m oth er a n d f a th er a n d th e s ta in o n th e c eilin g co uld b e h is s is te rs a n d m ay be th e w arp ed f lo orb oard s q ueak in g an d s q ueak in g i s h is g ra n dfa th er t a lk in g s to rie s.

May be t h ey ’re a ll h id in g o n a s h ip i n a b ottle .

1972 Been so ber so lo ng it’s lik e a dre am but I fe el bette r "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" so m eh ow a n d A untie w as s o p ro ud o f m e s h e t o ok J a m es a n d m e in to th e c ity f o r J a m es’s c h eck up a n d J a m es s till w asn ’t ta lk in g but A untie a n d Ja m es a n d I a te a g re at lu nch a t W oolw orth ’s befo re w e h ead ed b ack to th e re se rv atio n. I g ot to d riv e an d Auntie ’s u ra n iu m m oney C ad illa c is a h ell o f a c ar a n d it w as ra in in g a l ittle a n d h ot s o t h ere w ere r a in bow s r a in bow s r a in bow s an d th e p in e tr e es lo oked lik e w is e m en w ith w et b eard s o r a t le ast I th ought th ey d id . T hat’s h ow I d o th is lif e s o m etim es b y mak in g t h e o rd in ary j u st l ik e m ag ic a n d j u st l ik e a c ard t r ic k a n d ju st lik e a m ir ro r a n d ju st lik e th e d is a p pearin g. E very In dia n le arn s how to be a m ag ic ia n an d le arn s how to m is d ir e ct atte n tio n a n d th e d ark h an d is a lw ay s q uic k er th an th e w hite e y e an d n o m atte r h ow c lo se y ou g et t o m y h eart y ou w ill n ev er f in d out m y s e cre ts a n d I ’ll n ev er t e ll y ou a n d I ’ll n ev er s h ow y ou t h e sa m e t r ic k t w ic e.

I’m t r a v elin g h eav y w ith i llu sio ns.

1972 Every d ay I’m tr y in g n ot to d rin k a n d I p ra y b ut I d on’t know w ho I ’m p ra y in g t o a n d i f i t’s t h e b ask etb all g ath erin g a sh on t h e s h elf o r t h e b la n k w alls c ru sh in g m e i n to t h e h ouse o r t h e te le v is io n th at only pic k s up public ch an nels . I’v e se en only "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" pain te rs a n d f is h erm en a n d I t h in k t h ey ’re b oth t h e s a m e k in d o f men w ho m ad e a d iff e re n t c h oic e o ne tim e in th eir liv es. T he fis h erm an h eld a r o d i n h is h an d a n d s a id y es a n d t h e p ain te r h eld a b ru sh in h is h an d a n d s a id y es a n d s o m etim es I h old a b eer in my h an d a n d s a y y es. A t th ose m om en ts I w an t to d rin k s o b ad th at it ach es an d I cry w hic h is a str a n ge n ois e in o ur h ouse becau se J a m es r e fu se s t e ars a n d h e r e fu se s w ord s b ut s o m etim es he hold s a han d up ab ove his head lik e he’s re ach in g fo r so m eth in g. Y este rd ay I n early tr ip o ver L este r F alls A part ly in g dru nk a s a s k unk in f ro nt o f th e T ra d in g P ost a n d I p ic k h im u p an d h e s ta g gers a n d tr e m ble s a n d fa lls b ack d ow n. L este r I s a y you g ot to s ta n d u p o n y our o w n a n d I p ic k h im u p a n d h e f a lls dow n a g ain .

Only a s a in t w ould h av e t r ie d t o p ic k h im u p t h e t h ir d t im e.

1972 The s tr e etlig ht o uts id e m y h ouse s h in es o n to nig ht a n d I ’m watc h in g it lik e it c o uld g iv e m e v is io n. J a m es a in ’t ta lk ed e v er an d h e l o oks a t t h at s tr e etlig ht l ik e i t w as a w ord a n d m ay be l ik e it w as a v erb . J a m es w an te d t o s tr e etlig ht m e a n d m ak e m e b rig ht an d b eau tif u l s o a ll th e m oth s a n d b ats w ould c ir c le m e lik e I was th e c en te r o f th e w orld a n d h eld s e cre ts . L ik e J o y s a id th at "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" ev ery th in g b ut h um an s k eep s s e cre ts . T oday I g et m y m ail a n d th ere ’s a lig ht b ill a n d a p ostc ard f ro m a n o ld lo ve f ro m S eattle who a sk s m e i f I s till l o ve h er l ik e I u se d t o a n d w ould I c o m e t o vis it?

I s e n d h er m y l ig ht b ill a n d t e ll h er I d on’t e v er w an t t o s e e her a g ain .

1973 Ja m es t a lk ed t o day b ut I h ad m y b ack t u rn ed a n d I c o uld n’t be s u re it w as re al. H e s a id p ota to lik e a n y g ood In dia n w ould becau se th at’s a ll w e e at. B ut m ay be h e s a id I lo ve y ou b ecau se th at’s w hat I w an te d h im to sa y o r m ay be h e sa id g eo lo gy o r math em atic s o r c o lle g e b ask etb all. I p ic k h im u p a n d a sk h im ag ain a n d a g ain w hat d id y ou s a y ? H e j u st s m ile s a n d I t a k e h im to th e c lin ic a n d th e d octo rs s a y it’s a b out tim e b ut a re y ou s u re you d id n’t im ag in e h is v oic e? I s a id J a m es’s v oic e s o unded lik e a b eau tif u l g la ss fa llin g o ff th e sh elf a n d la n din g sa fe ly o n a th ic k s h ag c arp et.

The d octo r s a id I h ad a v ery g ood i m ag in atio n.

1973 I’m s h ootin g h oops a g ain w ith th e y ounger I n dia n b oys a n d "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" ev en s o m e I n dia n g ir ls w ho n ev er m is s a s h ot. T hey c all m e o ld man a n d e ld er a n d g iv e m e a l ittle b it o f r e sp ect l ik e n ot r u nnin g to o fa st o r h ard a n d e v en le ttin g m e sh oot a fe w m ore th an I sh ould . I t’s b een a lo ng tim e s in ce I p la y ed b ut th e o ld f e elin gs an d o ld m oves a re th ere in m y h eart a n d in m y fin gers . I se e th ese I n dia n k id s a n d I k now th at b ask etb all w as in ven te d b y a n In dia n lo ng befo re th at N ais m ith guy ev er th ought ab out it.

When I p la y I d on’t fe el lik e d rin kin g so I w is h I c o uld p la y tw en ty -fo ur h ours a d ay s e v en d ay s a w eek a n d th en I w ould n’t wak e u p sh ak in g a n d q uak in g a n d n eed in g ju st o ne m ore b eer befo re I sto p fo r g ood. Ja m es k now s it to o a n d h e sits o n th e sid elin e c la p pin g w hen m y te am s c o re s a n d c la p pin g w hen th e oth er te am sc o re s to o. H e’s g ot a g ood h eart. H e a lw ay s ta lk s when ev er I’m n ot in th e ro om o r I’m n ot lo okin g a t h im b ut nev er w hen a n ybody e ls e m ig ht h ear s o t h ey a ll t h in k I ’m c ra zy.

I a m c ra zy. H e s a y s t h in gs l ik e I c an ’t b elie v e. H e s a y s E = M C 2 an d t h at’s w hy a ll m y c o usin s d rin k t h em se lv es t o d eath . H e s a y s th e e arth i s a n o val m arb le t h at n obody c an w in . H e s a y s t h e s k y is n ot b lu e a n d t h e g ra ss i s n ot g re en .

He s a y s e v ery th in g i s a m atte r o f p erc ep tio n.

1973 "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Chris tm as a n d J a m es g ets h is p re se n ts a n d h e g iv es m e th e best p re se n t o f a ll w hen h e ta lk s rig ht a t m e. H e s a y s s o m an y th in gs a n d th e o nly th in g th at m atte rs is th at h e sa y s h e a n d I don’t h av e th e r ig ht to d ie f o r e ach o th er a n d th at w e s h ould b e liv in g fo r e ach o th er in ste ad . H e s a y s th e w orld h urts . H e s a y s th e f ir s t t h in g h e w an te d a fte r h e w as b orn w as a s h ot o f w his k ey.

He s a y s a ll th at a n d m ore . H e te lls m e to g et a jo b a n d to g ro w my b ra id s. H e s a y s I b ette r l e arn h ow t o s h oot l e ft- h an ded i f I ’m goin g to k eep p la y in g b ask etb all. H e sa y s to o pen a fir e w ork s sta n d.

Every day now th ere are little ex plo sio ns all over th e re se rv atio n.

1974 Today i s t h e W orld ’s F air i n S pokan e a n d J a m es a n d I d riv e to S pokan e w ith a fe w c o usin s o f m in e. A ll th e c o untr ie s h av e ex hib itio ns lik e art fro m Ja p an an d p otte ry fro m M ex ic o an d mean -lo okin g p eo ple t a lk in g a b out G erm an y. I n o ne l ittle c o rn er th ere ’s a s ta tu e o f a n I n dia n w ho’s s u ppose d t o b e s o m e c h ie f o r an oth er. I p re ss a little b utto n a n d th e s ta tu e ta lk s a n d m oves its arm s o ver an d o ver in th e sa m e m otio n. T he sta tu e te lls th e cro w d w e h av e t o t a k e c are o f t h e e arth b ecau se i t i s o ur m oth er.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" I k now th at a n d J a m es s a y s h e k now s m ore . H e s a y s th e e arth is our g ra n dm oth er a n d t h at t e ch nolo gy h as b eco m e o ur m oth er a n d th at th ey b oth h ate e ach o th er. Ja m es te lls th e c ro w d th at th e riv er j u st a f e w y ard s f ro m w here w e s ta n d i s a ll w e e v er n eed t o belie v e i n . O ne w hite w om an a sk s m e h ow o ld J a m es i s a n d I t e ll her h e’s s e v en a n d s h e te lls m e th at h e’s s o s m art f o r a n I n dia n boy. J a m es h ears t h is a n d t e lls t h e w hite w om an t h at s h e’s p re tty sm art fo r a n o ld w hite w om an . I k now th is is h ow it w ill a ll beg in a n d h ow th e r e st o f m y lif e w ill b e. I k now w hen I a m o ld an d s ic k a n d r e ad y t o d ie t h at J a m es w ill w ash m y b ody a n d t a k e care of m y waste s. He’ll carry m e fro m HUD house to sw eath ouse a n d h e w ill c le an m y w ounds. A nd h e w ill ta lk a n d te ach m e s o m eth in g n ew e v ery d ay .

But a ll t h at i s s o f a r a h ead .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" A T R AIN I S A N O RDER O F O CCURREN CE D ESIG NED TO L EA D T O S O M E RESU LT th ere i s s o m eth in g a bout tr a in s, d rin kin g, a nd b ein g an i n dia n w ith n oth in g t o l o se .

—Ray Y oung B ear “ B RO OM , D UST PA N, SW EEP, T R A SH can ,” S am uel B uild s-th e-F ir e c h an te d a s h e s h ow ere d a n d s h av ed , c o m bed h is h air i n to b ra id s.

S am uel w as a m aid a t a m ote l o n T hir d A ven ue. H e w an te d t o b e e arly to w ork th is m orn in g b ecau se it w as h is b ir th day. B ut h e d id n’t e x pect a n y p re se n ts o r p arty f ro m h is c o -w ork ers , f ro m t h e m an ag em en t. B ein g r e ally e arly t o w ork t h at m orn in g w as a k in d o f g if t t o h im se lf .

The w alk fro m h is stu dio ap artm en t o n H osp ita l R ow to d ow nto w n only to ok fiv e m in ute s on a su nny day an d fo ur m in ute s o n a r a in y d ay, b ut S am uel l e ft h om e n early h alf a n h our " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" befo re h e w as s u ppose d t o c lo ck i n . “ E arly , e arly , r e al e arly ,” h e ch an te d . I t w as a g ood d ay : s u n, l ig ht w in d, a n d s m all n ois e s l ik e la u ghte r f ro m o pen c ar w in dow s a n d f a st- fo od r e sta u ra n ts .

All th e pre v io us w eek , S am uel had open ed his m ailb ox ex pectin g to fin d a card or le tte r fro m his ch ild re n . Happy Bir th day f ro m G allu p; Best W is h es fro m A nch ora g e; I L ove Y o u fro m F ort B lis s, T ex as. N oth in g h ad a rriv ed , t h ough, a n d S am uel was h urt s o m e. B ut h e u nders to od th at h is c h ild re n w ere b usy , busy , b usy .

“G ot th eir o w n f ry b re ad c o okin g in th e o ven . G ot a w hole lo t o f fe ath ers in th eir w arb onnets ,” S am uel s a id a s h e w alk ed in to t h e m ote l.

“O h, Sam uel,” th e m ote l m an ag er sa id . “Y ou’re early .

Good. W e n eed t o t a lk .” Sam uel fo llo w ed th e m an ag er in to th e b ack o ff ic e. T hey both sa t dow n at th e big desk , S am uel on one sid e an d th e man ag er o n t h e o th er.

“S am uel,” th e m an ag er s a id . “ I d on’t k now e x actly h ow to te ll y ou t h is . B ut I ’m g oin g t o h av e t o l e t y ou g o.” “E xcu se m e, sir ? ” S am uel sa id . H e w as su re th e m an ag er had s a id s o m eth in g e n tir e ly d if fe re n t.

“S am uel, t h is d am n r e cessio n i s h urtin g e v ery one. I n eed t o cu t b ack o n e x pen se s, t r im t h e s a ils . Y ou u nders ta n d, d on’t y ou?” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Sam uel u nders to od. H e p ic k ed u p h is s e v era n ce c h eck a n d head ed f o r t h e d oor.

“S am uel,” th e m an ag er s a id . “ A s s o on a s th in gs g et b ette r, you’ll b e th e fir s t o ne I c all. I g uara n te e th at. Y ou’v e b een a n outs ta n din g e m plo yee.” “T han k y ou, sir,” S am uel sa id a s h e w alk ed o ut th e d oor.

Half w ay d ow n th e b lo ck to w ard h om e, h e s to pped . H e re aliz ed he h ad fo rg otte n to te ll th e m an ag er it w as h is b ir th day. F or a mom en t, S am uel w as c o nvin ced th at w ould c h an ge e v ery th in g.

But n o, S am uel k new it w as o ver. T he T hir d A ven ue M ote l’s ro om s n um bers o ne th ro ugh tw en ty -s e v en w ould n ev er b e c le an , not cle an lik e S am uel k new h ow to m ak e th em . H ell, h e re - cre ate d t h ose r o om s f o r e ach n ew g uest.

Sam uel B uild s-th e-F ir e w as fa th er to S am uel B uild s-th e- Fir e , J r., w ho w as f a th er t o T hom as B uild s-th e-F ir e . T hey a ll h ad th e g if t o f s to ry te llin g, c o uld p ic k u p th e p ie ces o f a s to ry f ro m th e str e et an d ch an ge th e w orld fo r a fe w m om en ts . W hen Sam uel w as y ounger, b efo re h e w as e v en a h usb an d a n d fa th er, he w ould w in bets by te llin g sto rie s co nstr u cte d by ra n dom obje cts . O nce, he w alk ed w ith frie n ds in R iv erfro nt P ark in Spokan e a n d th ey a ll sa w a d uck sw oop d ow n a n d p ic k u p a n ab an doned h ot d og. A t th e s a m e tim e, a w hite m oth er p ulle d h er so n f ro m t h e e d ge o f t h e r iv er.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “T ell u s a s to ry a b out a ll t h at,” h is f rie n ds s a id . “ A nd i f i t’s good, w e’ll g iv e y ou t e n b uck s.” “T w en ty ,” S am uel s a id .

“D eal.” “R eal d eal,” S am uel s a id a n d c lo se d h is e y es f o r a m om en t.

“T his y oung I n dia n b oy, t ir e d a n d h ungry , s te als a h ot d og f ro m a sid ew alk ven dor. H e ru ns aw ay an d th e ven dor ch ase s him th ro ugh th e p ark . T he In dia n b oy d ro ps th e h ot d og a n d ju m ps in to t h e r iv er. H e c an not s w im , t h ough, a n d d ro w ns q uic k ly . T he ven dor se es w hat h e h as c au se d b y h is g re ed , c h an ges h im se lf in to a d uck , g ra b s t h e h ot d og, a n d f lie s a w ay. M ean w hile , a l ittle white b oy w atc h es a ll t h is h ap pen a n d l e an s o ver t h e w ate r t o s e e th e I n dia n b oy’s b ody w ait a t t h e b otto m o f t h e r iv er. H is m oth er re fu se s to b elie v e h im , th ough, a n d ta k es h im a w ay, k ic k in g a n d sc re am in g, i n to t h e e n d o f t h e s to ry .” Sam uel o pen ed h is e y es a n d h is frie n ds c h eere d , g av e h im th e t w en ty b uck s a n d s o m e e x tr a c h an ge.

“S om e g ood o ld p ock et m oney,” S am uel sa id a n d b ought each o f h is f rie n ds a h ot d og.

“W hat w as G od b ut th is p la n et’s m aid ?” S am uel a sk ed h im se lf as h e f o und h im se lf w alk in g t o t h e M id w ay T av ern , w here a ll t h e In dia n s d ra n k i n e ig ht- h our s h if ts . S am uel h ad n’t e v er b een f ir e d "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" fro m a jo b a n d h e h ad n ev er b een in a b ar, e ith er. H e h ad n ev er dru nk. A ll h is lif e h e h ad w atc h ed h is b ro th ers a n d s is te rs , m ost of h is t r ib e, f a ll i n to a lc o holis m a n d s u rre n dere d d re am s.

But to day S am uel sa t d ow n a t th e b ar, u nsu re o f h im se lf , frig hte n ed .

“H ey, p artn er,” th e b arte n der sa id to S am uel. “ A in ’t se en you i n h ere b efo re .” “Y eah ,” S am uel s a id . “ Ju st g ot i n to t o w n, y ou k now ?” “W here y ou f ro m ?” “A l o ng w ay f ro m h ere . D oubt y ou e v er h eard o f i t.” “O h, I k now a ll a b out t h at p la ce,” t h e b arte n der s a id a n d s e t a c o ck ta il n ap kin i n f ro nt o f S am uel. “ S o, w hat y ou a re d rin kin g, old -tim er? ” “I’m n ot s u re . D o y ou h av e a m en u?” The b arte n der la u ghed a n d la u ghed . E m barra sse d , S am uel wan te d to g et u p a n d ru n h om e. B ut h e s a t s till, w aite d fo r th e la u ghte r t o e n d.

“H ow a b out I ju st g iv e y ou a b eer? ” th e b arte n der a sk ed th en , a n d S am uel q uic k ly a g re ed .

The b arte n der s e t t h e b eer i n f ro nt o f S am uel; t h e b arte n der la u ghed a n d h ad th e u rg e to c all th e lo cal n ew sp ap er. Yo u g ot to get a p hoto gra pher h ere . T his In ju n is g oin g to ta ke h is fir st drin k .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Sam uel l if te d t h e g la ss. I t f e lt g ood a n d c o ld i n h is h an d. H e dra n k. C oughed . S et t h e g la ss d ow n f o r a s e co nd. L if te d i t a g ain .

Dra n k. D ra n k. H eld th e g la ss a w ay fro m h is m outh . B re ath ed .

Bre ath ed . H e d ra n k. E m ptie d t h e g la ss. S et i t d ow n g en tly o n t h e bar.

I u ndersta nd e very th in g , S am uel t h ought. H e k new a ll a b out how i t b eg in s; h e k new h e w an te d t o l iv e t h is w ay n ow .

With e ach g la ss o f b eer, S am uel g ain ed a fe w o unces o f wis d om , c o ura g e. B ut a fte r a w hile , h e b eg an to u nders ta n d to o much a b out fe ar a n d fa ilu re , to o. A t th e h alf w ay p oin t o f a n y dru nken n ig ht, th ere is a m om en t w hen an In dia n re aliz es h e can not tu rn b ack to w ard tr a d itio n an d th at h e h as n o m ap to guid e h im t o w ard t h e f u tu re .

“S hit,” S am uel s a id . I t w as q uic k ly h is f a v orite w ord .

Sam uel h ad alw ay s th ought alc o hol w ould co rru pt h is sto rie s, re n der th em u se le ss, fla t. H e k new h is s to rie s h ad th e p ow er to te ach , to s h ow h ow th is lif e s h ould b e liv ed . H e w ould o fte n te ll his ch ild re n an d th eir frie n ds, an d th en h is g ra n dch ild re n an d th eir frie n ds, th ose sto rie s w hic h c o uld m ak e th eir w orld s in to so m eth in g b ette r. A t th e v ery le ast, h e c o uld te ll fu nny s to rie s th at w ould m ak e e ach d ay l e ss p ain fu l.

“L is te n ,” S am uel s a id . “ C oyote , w ho is th e c re ato r o f a ll o f "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" us, w as s ittin g o n h is c lo ud th e d ay a fte r h e c re ate d th e I n dia n s.

Now , h e lik ed th e In dia n s, lik ed w hat th ey w ere d oin g. This is good , h e k ep t s a y in g to h im se lf . B ut h e w as b ore d . H e th ought an d t h ought a b out w hat h e s h ould m ak e n ex t i n t h e w orld . B ut h e co uld n’t th in k o f a n yth in g s o h e d ecid ed to c lip h is to en ails . H e clip ped h is r ig ht t o en ails a n d h eld t h e c lip pin gs i n h is r ig ht h an d.

Then h e c lip ped h is l e ft t o en ails a n d a d ded t h ose c lip pin gs t o t h e ones a lr e ad y in h is r ig ht h an d. H e lo oked a ro und a n d a ro und h is clo ud fo r so m ew here to th ro w aw ay his clip pin gs. B ut he co uld n’t fin d a n yw here a n d h e g ot m ad . H e s ta rte d ju m pin g u p an d d ow n b ecau se h e w as s o m ad . T hen h e a ccid en ta lly d ro pped his to en ail c lip pin gs o ver th e s id e o f th e c lo ud a n d th ey fe ll to th e e arth . T he c lip pin gs b urro w ed in to th e g ro und lik e s e ed s a n d gre w u p to b e th e w hite m an . C oyote , h e lo oked d ow n a t h is new est c re atio n a n d s a id , Oh, s h it .” “T he w hite s a re c ra zy, th e w hite s a re c ra zy,” th e c h ild re n would c h an t a n d d an ce a ro und S am uel i n c ir c le s.

“A nd s o m etim es s o a re t h e I n dia n s,” S am uel w ould w his p er to h im se lf .

Afte r Sam uel had ta u ght his ch ild re n ev ery th in g he co uld , ev ery th in g h e k new , th ey le ft h im a lo ne. Ju st lik e w hite k id s.

Sam uel liv ed o n th e re se rv atio n, a lo ne, fo r a s lo ng a s h e c o uld , "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" with out m oney o r c o m pan y. A ll h is f rie n ds h ad d ie d a n d a ll th e younger peo ple on th e re se rv atio n had no tim e fo r sto rie s.

Sam uel f e lt l ik e t h e h ors e m ust h av e f e lt w hen H en ry F ord c am e alo ng.

When S am uel f in ally d id m ove i n to S pokan e, h e c o uld o nly fin d a s m all s tu dio a p artm en t. B ut i t w as m ore t h an e n ough. T he fir s t th in g h e d id w as to fill th e fo ur c o rn ers o f th e ro om w ith pla ste r, to m ak e th em ro und. H e p ain te d a b la ck c ir c le in th e mid dle o f th e c eilin g th at lo oked lik e th e s m oke h ole o f a tip i.

His l ittle s tu dio l o oked l ik e t h e i n sid e o f a t ip i. I t f e lt l ik e h om e.

Som eth in g c lo se t o h om e, a t l e ast.

He w en t d ow n to th e T hir d A ven ue M ote l fir s t th in g a n d ap plie d f o r a j o b a s a d esk c le rk . B ut t h e m an ag er s a id h e n eed ed a m aid .

“I h ear y ou In dia n m en d o g ood h ouse w ork ,” th e m an ag er sa id .

“W ell,” S am uel s a id . “ I d on’t k now a b out o th er I n dia n s b ut I k now h ow t o k eep a c le an h ouse .” “G ood,” th e m an ag er s a id . “ I c an ’t p ay y ou m uch , th ough.

Ju st m in im um w ag e.” “G ood e n ough.” When S am uel fir s t sta rte d w ork , th e T hir d A ven ue M ote l was s e m ir e sp ecta b le . B y t h e t im e h e w as f ir e d , i t w as a h om e f o r "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" dru g d eale rs a n d p ro stitu te s.

“W hy d o y ou le t th ose p eo ple in h ere ?” S am uel a sk ed th e man ag er m ore t h an o nce.

“T hey p ay t h eir b ills ,” t h e m an ag er a lw ay s s a id .

Som etim es a n In dia n w om an w ould w ork o ut o f th e m ote l an d th at a lw ay s h urt S am uel m ore th an a n yth in g h e c o uld e v er im ag in e. I n h is d re am s, h e w ould s e e h is o w n d au ghte r’s f a ce in th e f a ces o f t h e p ro stitu te s.

On p ay day s, S am uel w ould g iv e th e In dia n p ro stitu te s a little m oney .

“D on’t w ork t o day ,” h e w ould s a y . “ Ju st f o r t o day .” Som etim es th e In dia n w om en w ould ta k e h is m oney an d work an yw ay. But, once in a w hile , one of th ose In dia n pro stitu te s w ould t a k e t h e m oney a n d g o d rin k c o ff e e i n D en ny’s all d ay i n ste ad o f w ork in g. T hose w ere g ood d ay s f o r S am uel.

A y ear b efo re h e w as fir e d , S am uel fo und a y oung In dia n boy d ead i n r o om s ix te en . D ru g o verd ose . S am uel s a t i n t h e r o om an d stu die d th e boy’s fa ce until th e polic e arriv ed . Sam uel wan te d t o k now w hat t r ib e t h e b oy w as a n d c o uld n’t b e s u re . H is ey es w ere Y ak im a but his nose w as L ak ota . M ay be he w as mix ed -b lo od.

When th e p olic e c am e a n d lif te d th e In dia n b oy fro m th e bed w ith a te arin g an d str e tc h in g so und th at nearly bro ke "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Sam uel’s e ard ru m s, th e s to rie s w aitin g to b e to ld le ft a n d n ev er re tu rn ed . A ll S am uel c o uld d o a fte r t h at w as h um a n d s in g s o ngs he a lr e ad y k new o r s o ngs t h at m ad e n o s e n se .

At c lo sin g tim e, S am uel w as p ush ed o ut th e d oor in to th e s tr e et.

He s ta g gere d f ro m l o ck ed d oor t o l o ck ed d oor, b elie v in g t h at a n y open d oor m ean t h e w as h om e. H e p is se d h is p an ts . H e c o uld n’t belie v e h e l o st h is j o b. H e c lim bed u p a n e m ban km en t a n d s to od on th e U nio n P acif ic R ailr o ad tr a ck s th at p asse d th ro ugh an d over t h e m id dle o f t h e c ity .

Sam uel w as e le v ate d e x actly f o urte en f e et a n d s e v en i n ch es ab ove t h e r e st o f t h e w orld .

He h eard th e w his tle in th e d is ta n ce; it s o unded lik e h ors e s sta m ped in g. “ I’m y our h ors e i n t h e n ig ht,” S am uel s a n g t h at G al Costa s o ng. H e s a n g, “ I’m y our h ors e i n t h e n ig ht.” The w his tle g re w l o uder, a n gry .

Sam uel tr ip ped o n a r a il, f e ll f a ce d ow n o n th e tr a ck s. T he whis tle . T he w his tle . T he tr a ck s v ib ra te d , r a ttle d lik e b ones in a stic k gam e. Is it hid den in th e le ft hand or th e rig ht hand?

Sam uel c lo se d h is h an ds a n d h is e y es.

Som etim es it’s c alle d p assin g o ut a n d so m etim es it’s ju st pre te n din g t o b e a sle ep .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" A G OOD S T O RY TH E Q UIL TIN G A QUIE T S A TU RD AY R ESE RVATIO N A FT ER N OON a n d I p re te n d s le ep o n th e c o uch w hile m y m oth er p ie ces to geth er a n oth er q uilt o n t h e l iv in g r o om f lo or.

“Y ou k now ,” s h e s a y s. “ T hose s to rie s y ou te ll, th ey ’re k in d o f s a d , e n it? ” I k eep m y e y es c lo se d .

“Ju nio r,” sh e sa y s. “D on’t y ou th in k y our sto rie s are to o s a d ?” My e ffo rts t o i g nore h er a re u se le ss.

“W hat d o y ou m ean ?” I a sk .

She puts dow n her sc is so rs an d fa b ric , lo oks at m e so s tr a ig ht t h at I h av e t o s it u p a n d o pen m y e y es.

“W ell,” sh e sa y s. “A in ’t nobody crie s th at m uch , you k now ?” I p re te n d to ru b th e s le ep fro m m y e y es, s tr e tc h m y a rm s a n d l e g s, m ak e s m all n ois e s o f i r rita tio n.

“I g uess,” I s a y. “ B ut a in ’t n obody la u ghs a s m uch a s th e p eo ple i n m y s to rie s, e ith er.” " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" “T hat’ s t r u e,” s h e s a y s.

I s ta n d u p, s h ak e m y p an ts l o ose , a n d w alk t o t h e k itc h en t o gra b a D ie t P ep si w ith c o ld , c o ld i c e.

Mom q uilts s ile n tly f o r a w hile . T hen s h e w his tle s.

“W hat? ” I a sk h er, k now in g t h ese s ig nals f o r a tte n tio n.

“Y ou k now w hat y ou s h ould d o? Y ou s h ould w rite a s to ry ab out s o m eth in g g ood, a r e al g ood s to ry .” “W hy?” “B ecau se peo ple sh ould know th at good th in gs alw ay s hap pen t o I n dia n s, t o o.” I ta k e a b ig d rin k o f D ie t P ep si, se arc h th e c u pboard s fo r pota to c h ip s, p ean uts , a n yth in g.

“G ood th in gs hap pen ,” sh e sa y s an d goes back to her quiltin g.

I th in k fo r a m om en t, put m y D ie t P ep si dow n on th e co unte r.

“O kay ,” I s a y . “ If y ou w an t t o h ear a g ood s to ry , y ou h av e t o lis te n .” TH E S T O RY Uncle M ose s s a t in h is s a n dw ic h c h air e atin g a s a n dw ic h .

Betw een b ite s, h e h um med a n it- is -a -g ood-d ay so ng. H e sa t in "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" fro nt o f th e h ouse h e b uilt h im se lf f if ty y ears b efo re . T he h ouse sa t d ow n a t r a n dom a n gle s to th e g ro und. T he f ro nt r o om le an ed to th e w est, th e b ed ro om to th e e ast, a n d th e b ath ro om s im ply fo ld ed i n o n i ts e lf .

There w as n o fo undatio n, n o h id den clo se t, n oth in g b uilt in to th e th in w alls . O n th e w hole , it w as th e k in d o f h ouse th at would s ta n d e v en y ears a fte r M ose s d ie d , h eld u p b y th e tr ib al im ag in atio n. D riv in g b y, th e I n dia n s w ould lo ok a cro ss th e f ie ld to w ard th e house an d hold it uprig ht with th eir ey es, re m em berin g Mose s l iv ed t h ere .

It w ould b e j u st e n ough t o e n su re s u rv iv al.

Uncle M ose s g av e n o th ought to h is p assin g o n m ost d ay s.

In ste ad , h e u su ally fin is h ed h is sa n dw ic h , h eld th e la st b ite o f bre ad a n d m eat i n h is m outh l ik e t h e l a st w ord o f a g ood s to ry .

“Y a-h ey,” h e c alle d o ut t o t h e m ovem en t o f a ir, t h e u nse en .

A su m mer b efo re , U ncle M ose s lis te n ed to h is n ep hew , Jo hn- Jo hn, ta lk in g a s to ry . J o hn-J o hn w as b ack f ro m c o lle g e a n d to ld Mose s t h at 9 9 p erc en t o f t h e m atte r i n t h e u niv ers e i s i n vis ib le t o th e h um an e y e. E ver sin ce, M ose s m ad e su re to g re et w hat h e co uld n ot s e e.

Uncle M ose s sto od, p ut h is h an ds o n h is h ip s, a rc h ed h is back . M ore an d m ore , he heard his sp in e pla y in g stic k gam e th ro ugh h is s k in , s in gin g o ld d usty w ord s, th e w ord s o f a ll h is "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" years . H e l o oked a t t h e p ositio n o f t h e s u n t o d ete rm in e t h e t im e, ch eck ed h is w atc h to b e s u re , a n d lo oked a cro ss th e f ie ld f o r th e ch ild re n w ho w ould s o on c o m e.

The I n dia n c h ild re n w ould c o m e w ith h alf -b ra id s, c u rio sity en dle ss a n d e sse n tia l. T he c h ild re n w ould c o m e fro m th ro w in g sto nes i n to w ate r, f ro m b ask etb all a n d b ask etr y , f ro m t h e a rm s o f th eir m oth ers a n d f a th ers , f ro m t h e v ery b eg in nin g. T his w as t h e gen era tio n of HUD house , of car wre ck an d can cer, of co m modity c h eese a n d b eef. T hese w ere t h e c h ild re n w ho c arrie d dre am s in th e b ack p ock ets o f th eir b lu e je an s, p ulle d th em o ut easily , t r a d ed b ack a n d f o rth .

“D re am s lik e b ase b all c ard s,” U ncle M ose s s a id to h im se lf , sm ile d h ard w hen h e s a w th e f ir s t c h ild r u nnin g a cro ss th e f ie ld .

It w as A rn old , of co urs e , pale -s k in ned boy w ho w as alw ay s te ase d b y t h e o th er c h ild re n .

Arn old ra n s lo w ly , h is g re at b elly s h ak in g w ith th e e ff o rt, ey es n arro w ed in c o ncen tr a tio n. A fu ll- b lo od S pokan e, A rn old was so m eh ow b orn w ith p ale , p re tty sk in a n d e y es w ith c o lo r co ntin ually c h an gin g fro m g ra y to b ro w n. H e lik ed to s it in th e sa n dw ic h c h air a n d w ait fo r U ncle M ose s to m ak e h im a g ood sa n dw ic h .

It to ok A rn old fiv e m in ute s to ru n a cro ss th e fie ld , a n d a ll th e w hile M ose s w atc h ed h im , s tu die d h is m ovem en ts , th e w ay "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Arn old ’s h air r e ach ed o ut i n a ll d ir e ctio ns, u nco m bed , s o c lo se t o ele ctr ic ity , c lo se r to lig htn in g. H e d id n ot w ear b ra id s, c o uld n ot sit l o ng e n ough f o r h is m oth er.

Be still, be still , sh e w ould sa y betw een her te eth , but Arn old l o ved h is b ody t o o m uch t o r e m ain s till.

Big a s h e w as, A rn old w as s till g ra cefu l in h is m ovem en ts , in h is h an ds w hen h e to uch ed h is f a ce lis te n in g to a g ood s to ry .

He w as a ls o th e b est b ask etb all p la y er in th e re se rv atio n g ra d e sc h ool. U ncle M ose s s o m etim es w alk ed t o t h e p la y gro und j u st t o watc h A rn old p la y a n d w onder a t th e s tr a n ge, o fte n im pro bab le gif ts a p ers o n c an r e ceiv e.

We a re a ll g iv en s o m eth in g t o c o m pen sa te f o r w hat w e h ave lo st . M ose s f e lt t h ose w ord s e v en t h ough h e d id n ot s a y t h em .

Arn old a rriv ed , b re ath in g h ard .

“Y a-h ey , L ittle M an ,” U ncle M ose s s a id .

“H ello , U ncle ,” A rn old r e p lie d , e x te n din g h is h an d i n a h alf - sh y, half -a d ult w ay, a ch ild ’s gre etin g, th e aff ir m atio n of frie n dsh ip .

“W here are th e oth ers ? ” Uncle M ose s ask ed , ta k in g Arn old ’s h an d i n h is o w n.

“T here w as a fie ld tr ip ,” A rn old a n sw ere d . “ A ll th e o th ers wen t t o a b ase b all g am e i n S pokan e. I h id u ntil t h ey l e ft.” “W hy?” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “B ecau se I w an te d t o s e e y ou.” Mose s s m ile d a t A rn old ’s u npla n ned k in dness. H e h eld th e ch ild ’s h an d a l ittle t ig hte r a n d p ulle d h im u p c lo se .

“L ittle M an ,” h e s a id . “ Y ou h av e d one a g ood t h in g.” Arn old sm ile d , pulle d his han d aw ay fro m M ose s, an d co vere d h is s m ile , s m ilin g e v en h ard er.

“U ncle M ose s,” h e s a id t h ro ugh h is f in gers . “ T ell m e a g ood sto ry .” Uncle M ose s s a t d ow n in th e s to ry c h air a n d to ld th is v ery sto ry .

TH E F IN IS H IN G My m oth er s its q uie tly , rip s a s e am , b eg in s to h um a s lo w so ng t h ro ugh h er s k in ny l ip s.

“W hat y ou s in gin g?” I a sk .

“I’m s in gin g a n i t- is -a -g ood-d ay s o ng.” She s m ile s a n d I h av e t o s m ile w ith h er.

“D id y ou l ik e t h e s to ry ?” I a sk .

She k eep s s in gin g, s in gs a l ittle l o uder a n d s tr o nger a s I t a k e my D ie t P ep si o uts id e a n d w ait i n t h e s u n. I t i s w arm , s o on t o b e co ld , b ut t h at’s i n t h e f u tu re , m ay be t o m orro w , p ro bab ly t h e n ex t day a n d a ll th e d ay s a fte r th at. T oday, n ow , I d rin k w hat I h av e, "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" will e at w hat is le ft in th e c u pboard , w hile m y m oth er fin is h es her q uilt, p ie ce b y p ie ce.

Belie v e m e, th ere is ju st b are ly e n ough g oodness in a ll o f th is .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" T H E F IR ST A NNUAL A LL- IN DIA N H ORSE SH OE PIT C H A ND B A RBEC UE S OM EB O DY F O RG OT T H E C H ARCO AL ; b la m e t h e B IA .

I’v e nev er heard an y In dia n pla y th e pia n o until V ic to r b ought a s e co ndhan d b ab y g ra n d a t a fle a m ark et a n d h au le d it o ut to th e re se rv atio n in th e b ack o f a B IA p ic k up. A ll th at s u m mer th e pia n o co lle cte d sp id ers an d w arm ra in , until it s w elle d lik e a g ood tu m or. I a sk ed h im o ver a n d o ver, “ V ic to r, w hen y ou g oin g to p la y th at th in g?” H e w ould sm ile , m um ble s o m e u nin te llig ib le p ra y er, a n d t h en w his p er t o m e c lo se , “ T here i s a g ood d ay to d ie a n d th ere is a g ood d ay to p la y th e p ia n o.” J u st b efo re th e b arb ecu e V ic to r p ush ed th e p ia n o h alf w ay a cro ss t h e re se rv atio n, up ag ain st a pin e tr e e, fle x ed his m usc le s, c ra ck ed h is k nuck le s, s a t d ow n a t t h e k ey s, a n d p ounded o ut B éla B artó k. In th e lo ng s ile n ce a fte r V ic to r fin is h ed h is p ie ce, a fte r t h e beau tif u l dis so nan ce an d im plie d su rv iv al, th e Spokan e I n dia n s w ep t, s tu nned b y t h is s tr a n ge a n d f a m ilia r m usic .

“W ell,” L este r F alls A part s a id . “ It a in ’t H an k W illia m s b ut I k now w hat i t m ean s.” " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" Then N ad in e s a id , “ Y ou c an te ll s o m uch a b out a f a m ily b y wheth er t h eir p ia n o i s i n o r o ut o f t u ne.” There is so m eth in g beau tif u l ab out th e co ol gra ss ben eath a pic n ic ta b le . I w as th ere , a lm ost a sle ep , w hen m y lo ve c ra w le d under, w ra p ped h er a rm s a ro und m e, a n d s a n g in to m y e ar. H er bre ath s w eet a n d d am p w ith K ool- A id a n d a h ot d og, musta rd b ut no c a ts u p, p le a se . T he s u nlig ht s q ueezed t h ro ugh s p aces b etw een wood, f e ll d ow n k noth ole s, b ut j u st e n ough t o w arm m y f a ce.

There is s o m eth in g b eau tif u l a b out a n I n dia n b oy w ith h air so b la ck i t c o lle cts t h e s u nlig ht. H is b ra id s g ro w h ot t o t h e t o uch an d h is sk in sh in es w ith re se rv atio n sw eat. H e is sk in ny an d doesn ’t k now h ow t o s p it. I n t h e f o ot r a ce w ith o th er I n dia n b oys he w in s a b lu e rib bon, an d in th e w re stlin g m atc h h e w in s a med allio n w ith an eag le etc h ed in ch eap m eta l. There are photo gra p hs t a k en ; I u se t h em n ow a s e v id en ce o f h is s m ile .

There i s s o m eth in g b eau tif u l a b out b ro ken g la ss a n d t h e t in y vis io ns i t c re ate s. F or i n sta n ce, t h e g la ss f ro m t h at s h atte re d b eer bottle t o ld m e t h ere w as a t w en ty -d olla r b ill h id den i n t h e c en te r of a n a n t p ile . I b urie d m y a rm s e lb ow -d eep in th e a n ts b ut a ll I fo und w as a n ote th at s a id Som e p eo ple w ill b elie ve in a nyth in g .

And I l a u ghed .

There i s s o m eth in g b eau tif u l a b out a n o rd in ary c arn iv al.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Sim on w on th e h ors e sh oe p itc h w ith a d ouble -rin ger th at w as s o perfe ct w e a ll k new h is g ra n dch ild re n w ould s till b e te llin g th e sto ry , a n d S im on w on t h e s to ry te llin g c o nte st w hen h e t o ld u s t h e sa lm on u se d t o s w im s o t h ic k i n t h e S pokan e R iv er t h at a n I n dia n co uld w alk a cro ss t h e w ate r o n t h eir b ack s.

“Y ou d on’t t h in k J e su s C hris t w as w alk in g o n j u st f a ith ?” h e ask ed u s a ll.

Sim on w on th e co yote co nte st w hen he to ld us th at bask etb all s h ould b e o ur n ew r e lig io n.

He sa id , “A ball bouncin g on hard w ood so unds lik e a dru m .” He sa id , “A n all- s ta r ja ck et m ak es y ou o ne o f th e S hir t Weare rs .” Sim on w on th e o ne-o n-o ne b ask etb all to urn am en t w ith a ju m p s h ot f ro m o ne h undre d y ears o ut.

“D o you th in k it’s an y co in cid en ce th at bask etb all w as in ven te d ju st o ne y ear a fte r th e G host D an cers fe ll a t W ounded Knee?” h e a sk ed m e a n d y ou.

And th en Sey m our to ld Sim on, “W in nin g all th ose co nte sts mak es y ou ju st a b out a s fa m ous a s th e w orld ’s b est x ylo phone pla y er.” All th e In dia n s w ere ru nnin g; th ey w ere ru nnin g. T here w as n o "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" fe ar, n o p ain . I t w as th e p le asu re o f b are f o ot in sid e te n nis s h oe; it w as t h e p le asu re o f t e n nis s h oe o n r e d d ir t.

That S kin w ith th e lo ng h air le an in g a g ain st th e p in e tr e e, yes, th at o ne , is in lo ve w ith th at o th er S kin s ittin g a t th e p ic n ic ta b le d rin kin g a P ep si. N eith er h as t h e w ord s t o d esc rib e t h is b ut th ey k now h ow t o d an ce, yes, t h ey k n ow h ow t o d ance .

Can y ou h ear t h e d re am s c ra ck lin g l ik e a c am pfir e ? C an y ou hear th e d re am s s w eep in g th ro ugh th e p in e tr e es a n d tip is ? C an you h ear th e d re am s la u ghin g in th e s a w dust? C an y ou h ear th e dre am s s h ak in g ju st a little b it a s th e d ay g ro w s lo ng? C an y ou hear t h e d re am s p uttin g o n a g ood j a ck et t h at s m ells o f f ry b re ad an d s w eet s m oke? C an y ou h ear t h e d re am s s ta y u p l a te a n d t a lk so m an y s to rie s?

And f in ally th is , w hen th e s u n w as f a llin g d ow n s o b eau tif u l w e did n’t h av e tim e to g iv e it a n am e, sh e h eld th e c h ild b orn o f white m oth er a n d re d fa th er a n d s a id , “ B oth s id es o f th is b ab y are b eau tif u l.” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" IM AG IN IN G T H E RESE R VATIO N We h ave t o b elie ve i n t h e p ow er o f i m agin atio n beca use i t’ s a ll w e h ave, a nd o urs i s s tr o nger th an t h eir s.

—Law re n ce T horn to n I M AGIN E CRA ZY H ORSE in ven te d th e ato m bom b in 1876 an d d eto nate d i t o ver W ash in gto n, D .C . W ould t h e u rb an I n dia n s s till b e sp ra w le d aro und th e one-ro om ap artm en t in th e cab le t e le v is io n re se rv atio n? Im ag in e a lo af o f b re ad c o uld fe ed th e e n tir e t r ib e. D id n’t y ou k now J e su s C hris t w as a S pokan e I n dia n ?

I m ag in e C olu m bus la n ded in 1 492 an d so m e tr ib e o r an oth er d ro w ned him in th e ocean . W ould L este r F alls A part still be s h oplif tin g i n t h e 7 -1 1?

I a m i n t h e 7 -1 1 o f m y d re am s, s u rro unded b y f iv e h undre d y ears o f c o nven ie n t lie s. T here a re m en h ere w ho ta k e in ven to ry , s c an t h e ais le s fo r m in ute ch an ges, in sis t on sm all bills . O nce, I w ork ed th e g ra v ey ard sh if t in a S eattle 7 -1 1 , u ntil th e n ig ht a m an lo ck ed m e in th e c o ole r a n d s to le a ll th e m oney o ut o f th e " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" cash r e g is te r. B ut m ore t h an t h at, h e t o ok t h e d olla r b ill f ro m m y walle t, pulle d th e bask etb all sh oes off m y fe et, an d le ft m e waitin g f o r r e sc u e b etw een th e e x pir e d m ilk a n d b ro ken e g gs. I t was t h en I r e m em bere d t h e s to ry o f t h e h obo w ho h opped a t r a in head in g w est, fo und h im se lf lo ck ed in a re frig era to r car, an d fro ze to d eath . H e w as d is c o vere d w hen th e tr a in a rriv ed a t its fin al d estin atio n, h is b ody ic e c o ld , b ut th e re frig era to r c ar w as nev er tu rn ed o n, th e te m pera tu re in sid e n ev er d ro pped b elo w fif ty d eg re es. I t h ap pen s t h at w ay : t h e b ody f o rg ets t h e r h yth m o f su rv iv al.

Surv iv al = A nger × I m ag in atio n. I m ag in atio n i s t h e o nly w eap on on t h e r e se rv atio n.

The r e se rv atio n d oesn ’t s in g a n ym ore b ut th e s o ngs s till h an g in th e air. E very m ole cu le w aits fo r a d ru m beat; ev ery ele m en t dre am s ly ric s. T oday I am w alk in g b etw een w ate r, tw o p arts hydro gen , o ne p art o xygen , a n d th e e n erg y e x pelle d is n am ed Forg iv en ess .

The I n dia n c h ild h ears m y v oic e o n th e te le p hone a n d h e k now s what co lo r sh ir t I’m w earin g. A fe w day s or years ag o, m y bro th er a n d I t o ok h im t o t h e b ar a n d h e r e ad a ll o f o ur f u tu re s b y to uch in g h an ds. H e to ld m e th e tw en ty -d olla r b ill h id den in m y "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" sh oe w ould c h an ge m y l if e . Im agin e , h e s a id . B ut w e a ll l a u ghed , old M ose s e v en s p it h is fa ls e te eth in to th e a ir, b ut th e In dia n ch ild to uch ed an oth er han d, an oth er, an d an oth er, until he to uch ed e v ery S kin . Who d o y o u th in k y o u a re ?

S ey m our a sk ed th e In dia n ch ild . Yo u a in ’t so m e m ed ic in e m an co m e b ack to ch ange o ur liv es . B ut th e I n dia n c h ild to ld S ey m our h is m is sin g dau ghte r w as in co m munity co lle g e in S an F ra n cis c o an d h is mis sin g w ed din g r in g w as i n a c an o f c o m modity b eef h ig h u p i n his k itc h en . T he I n dia n c h ild to ld L este r h is h eart w as b urie d a t th e b ase o f a p in e t r e e b eh in d t h e T ra d in g P ost. T he I n dia n c h ild to ld m e t o b re ak e v ery m ir ro r i n m y h ouse a n d t a p e t h e p ie ces t o my b ody. I f o llo w ed h is v is io n a n d th e I n dia n c h ild la u ghed a n d la u ghed w hen h e s a w m e, r e fle ctin g e v ery l a st w ord o f t h e s to ry .

What do you belie v e in ? Does ev ery In dia n dep en d on Holly w ood fo r a tw en tie th -c en tu ry v is io n? L is te n : w hen I w as young, l iv in g o n t h e r e se rv atio n, e atin g p ota to es e v ery d ay o f m y lif e , I im ag in ed th e p ota to es g re w la rg er, fille d m y sto m ach , re v ers e d th e e m ptin ess. M y s is te rs s a v ed u p a fe w q uarte rs a n d bought fo od co lo rin g. F or w eek s w e ate re d pota to es, gre en pota to es, b lu e p ota to es. I n th e d ark , “ T he T onig ht S how ” o n th e te le v is io n, m y fa th er an d I te llin g sto rie s ab out th e fo od w e wan te d m ost. W e im ag in ed o ra n ges, P ep si- C ola , c h oco la te , d eer "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" je rk y. W e i m ag in ed t h e s a lt o n o ur s k in c o uld c h an ge t h e w orld .

Ju ly 4 th a nd a ll i s h ell . A dria n , I a m w aitin g f o r s o m eo ne to te ll th e tr u th . T oday I a m c ele b ra tin g th e In dia n b oy w ho b le w h is fin gers o ff w hen a n M 80 e x plo ded i n h is h an d. B ut t h an k G od f o r mir a cle s, he has a th um b le ft to oppose his fu tu re . I am cele b ra tin g T ony S w ag gard , s le ep in g in th e b ase m en t w ith tw o th ousa n d d olla rs ’ w orth o f f ir e w ork s w hen s o m e s p ark o f f la m e or h is to ry t o uch ed i t a ll o ff . D riv in g h om e, I h eard t h e e x plo sio n an d th ought it w as a n ew s to ry b orn . B ut, A dria n , it’s th e s a m e old sto ry , w his p ere d past th e sa m e fa ls e te eth . H ow can w e im ag in e a n ew la n guag e w hen th e la n guag e o f th e e n em y k eep s our d is m em bere d t o ngues t ie d t o h is b elt? H ow c an w e i m ag in e a new a lp hab et w hen th e o ld ju m ps o ff b illb oard s d ow n in to o ur sto m ach s? A dria n , w hat d id y ou s a y ? I w ant to r a sp in to s o ber cry p to lo gy a nd s a y s o m eth in g d yn am ic b ut t o nig ht i s m y l a undry nig ht . H ow do w e im ag in e a new lif e w hen a pock etf u l of quarte rs w eig hs o ur p ossib ilitie s d ow n?

There a re s o m an y p ossib ilitie s in th e r e se rv atio n 7 -1 1 , s o m an y meth ods o f s u rv iv al. I m ag in e e v ery S kin o n t h e r e se rv atio n i s t h e new l e ad g uita ris t f o r t h e R ollin g S to nes, o n t h e c o ver o f a r o ck - an d-ro ll m ag azin e. I m ag in e f o rg iv en ess is s o ld 2 f o r 1 . I m ag in e ev ery In dia n is a vid eo gam e w ith bra id s. D o you belie v e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" la u ghte r c an s a v e u s? A ll I k now is th at I c o unt c o yote s to h elp me sle ep . D id n’t you know ? Im ag in atio n is th e politic s of dre am s; im ag in atio n tu rn s ev ery w ord in to a bottle ro ck et.

Adria n , im ag in e ev ery d ay is In dep en den ce D ay an d sa v e u s fro m tr a v elin g th e riv er c h an ged ; s a v e u s fro m h itc h hik in g th e lo ng ro ad hom e. Im ag in e an esc ap e. Im ag in e th at your ow n sh ad ow o n th e w all is a p erfe ct d oor. Im ag in e a so ng str o nger th an p en ic illin . Im ag in e a s p rin g w ith w ate r th at m en ds b ro ken bones. Im ag in e a d ru m w hic h w ra p s its e lf aro und y our h eart.

Im ag in e a s to ry t h at p uts w ood i n t h e f ir e p la ce.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" T H E A PPR O XIM ATE S IZ E O F M Y F A VO RIT E T U M OR A FT ER T H E A RG UM EN T T H AT I h ad lo st b ut p re te n ded to w in , I s to rm ed o ut o f t h e H UD h ouse , j u m ped i n to t h e c ar, a n d p re p are d t o d riv e o ff in v ic to ry , w hic h w as a ls o k now n a s d efe at. B ut I r e aliz ed th at I h ad n’t g ra b bed m y k ey s. A t th at k in d o f m om en t, a p ers o n b eg in s to re aliz e h ow h e can b e fo ole d b y h is o w n g am es. A nd a t t h at k in d o f m om en t, a p ers o n b eg in s t o f o rm ula te a n ew g am e t o c o m pen sa te f o r t h e f a ilu re o f t h e f ir s t.

“H oney, I’m hom e,” I yelle d as I w alk ed back in to th e h ouse .

My w if e ig nore d m e, g av e m e a m om en ta ry s to ic lo ok th at i m pre sse d m e w ith its re se m bla n ce to g en era tio ns o f te le v is io n I n dia n s.

“O h, w hat i s t h at? ” I a sk ed . “ Y our T onto f a ce?” She f lip ped m e o ff, s h ook h er h ead , a n d d is a p peare d i n to t h e b ed ro om .

“H oney,” I c alle d a fte r h er. “ D id n’t y ou m is s m e? I ’v e b een g one s o l o ng a n d i t’ s g ood t o b e b ack h om e. W here I b elo ng.” I c o uld h ear d re sse r d ra w ers o pen a n d c lo se .

“A nd lo ok at th e kid s,” I sa id as I patte d th e head s of " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" im ag in ed c h ild re n . “ T hey ’v e g ro w n s o m uch . A nd t h ey h av e y our ey es.” She w alk ed o ut o f th e b ed ro om in h er f a v orite r ib bon s h ir t, hair w ra p ped in h er b est tie s, a n d w earin g a p air o f c o m e-h ere boots . Y ou k now , th e k in d w ith th e c u rle d to e th at lo oks lik e a fin ger gestu rin g Com e h ere , co w boy, co m e o n o ver h ere . B ut th ose b oots w ere n ’t m ean t f o r m e: I ’m a n I n dia n .

“H oney,” I a sk ed . “ I ju st g et b ack f ro m th e w ar a n d y ou’re le av in g a lr e ad y? N o k is s f o r t h e r e tu rn in g h ero ?” She p re te n ded to ig nore m e, w hic h I e n jo yed . B ut th en s h e pulle d o ut h er c ar k ey s, c h eck ed h ers e lf i n t h e m ir ro r, a n d h ead ed fo r th e d oor. I ju m ped in fro nt o f h er, k now in g sh e m ean t to beg in h er o w n w ar. T hat s c are d t h e s h it o ut o f m e.

“H ey,” I s a id . “ I w as j u st k id din g, h oney. I ’m s o rry . I d id n’t mean a n yth in g. I ’ll d o w hate v er y ou w an t m e t o .” She p ush ed m e a sid e, a d ju ste d h er d re am s, p ulle d o n h er bra id s fo r a ju m psta rt, a n d w alk ed o ut th e d oor. I fo llo w ed h er an d s to od o n th e p orc h a s s h e ju m ped in to th e c ar a n d s ta rte d it up.

“I’m g oin g d an cin g,” s h e s a id a n d d ro ve o ff i n to t h e s u nse t, or at le ast sh e dro ve dow n th e tr ib al hig hw ay to w ard th e Pow wow T av ern .

“B ut w hat a m I g oin g t o f e ed t h e k id s? ” I a sk ed a n d w alk ed "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" back i n to t h e h ouse t o f e ed m yse lf a n d m y i llu sio ns.

Afte r a d in ner o f m acaro ni a n d c o m modity c h eese , I p ut o n my b est s h ir t, a n ew p air o f b lu e je an s, a n d s e t o ut to h itc h hik e dow n th e tr ib al h ig hw ay. T he su n h ad g one d ow n a lr e ad y so I decid ed th at I w as rid in g o ff to w ard th e g re at u nknow n, w hic h was actu ally th e sa m e Pow wow Tav ern w here m y lo ve had esc ap ed t o a n h our e arlie r.

As I sto od on th e hig hw ay w ith m y big , bro w n, an d beau tif u l th um b sh ow in g m e th e w ay, S im on p ulle d u p in h is pic k up, s to pped , o pen ed t h e p asse n ger d oor, a n d w hooped .

“S hit,” h e y elle d . “ If i t a in ’t l ittle J im my O ne-H ors e ! W here you g oin g, c o usin , a n d h ow f a st d o y ou n eed t o g et t h ere ?” I h esita te d a t th e o ff e r o f a r id e. S im on w as w orld f a m ous, at le ast fa m ous o n th e S pokan e In dia n R ese rv atio n, fo r d riv in g back w ard . H e a lw ay s o bey ed p oste d s p eed lim its , tr a ff ic s ig nals an d sig ns, ev en m in ute su ggestio ns. B ut h e d ro ve in re v ers e , usin g th e re arv ie w m ir ro r a s h is g uid e. B ut w hat c o uld I d o? I tr u ste d t h e m an , a n d w hen y ou t r u st a m an y ou a ls o h av e t o t r u st his h ors e .

“I’m h ead ed fo r th e P ow wow T av ern ,” I s a id a n d c lim bed in to S im on’s rig . “ A nd I n eed to b e th ere b efo re m y w if e fin ds hers e lf a d an ce p artn er.” “S hit,” S im on s a id . “ W hy d id n’t y ou s a y s o m eth in g s o oner?

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" We’ll be th ere befo re sh e hears th e fir s t note of th e fir s t goddam ned s o ng.” Sim on ja m med th e car in to his only gear, re v ers e , an d ro are d d ow n th e h ig hw ay. I w an te d to h an g m y h ead o ut th e win dow lik e a d og, le t m y b ra id s f la p lik e a to ngue in th e w in d, but g ood m an ners p re v en te d m e f ro m ta k in g th e lib erty . S till, it was s o t e m ptin g. A lw ay s w as.

“S o, little Jim my Six te en -a n d-O ne-H alf -H ors e s,” Sim on ask ed m e a fte r a b it. “ W hat d id y ou d o to m ak e y our w if e ta k e off t h is t im e?” “W ell,” I s a id . “ I to ld h er th e tr u th , S im on. I to ld h er I g ot can cer e v ery w here i n sid e m e.” Sim on sla m med on th e bra k es an d bro ught th e pic k up slid in g t o a q uic k b ut d ecid ed ly c in em atic s to p.

“T hat a in ’t n oth in g t o j o ke a b out,” h e y elle d .

“A in ’t j o kin g a b out t h e c an cer,” I s a id . “ B ut I s ta rte d j o kin g ab out d yin g a n d t h at p is se d h er o ff.” “W hat’ d y ou s a y ?” “W ell, I to ld h er th e d octo r s h ow ed m e m y X -ra y s a n d m y fa v orite tu m or w as ju st a b out th e s iz e o f a b ase b all, s h ap ed lik e one, t o o. E ven h ad s titc h m ark s.” “Y ou’re f u ll o f s h it.” “N o, re ally . I to ld her to call m e B ab e R uth . O r R oger "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Maris . M ay be ev en H an k A aro n ’c au se th ere m ust h av e b een ab out 7 55 d am n t u m ors i n sid e m e. T hen , I t o ld h er I w as g oin g t o Coopers to w n a n d s it r ig ht d ow n i n t h e l o bby o f t h e H all o f F am e.

Mak e m yse lf a n ew e x hib it, y ou k now ? P in m y X -ra y s to m y ch est a n d p oin t o ut th e tu m ors . W hat a d ed ic ate d b ase b all fa n !

What a s a crif ic e f o r t h e n atio nal p astim e!” “Y ou’re a n a ssh ole , l ittle J im my Z ero -H ors e s.” “I k now , I k now ,” I sa id a s S im on g ot th e p ic k up ro llin g ag ain , d ow n th e h ig hw ay to w ard a n u ncerta in f u tu re , w hic h w as, as u su al, s im ply c alle d t h e P ow wow T av ern .

We ro de th e re st o f th e w ay in s ile n ce. T hat is to s a y th at neith er o f u s h ad a n yth in g a t a ll to s a y. B ut I c o uld h ear S im on bre ath in g an d I’m su re h e co uld h ear m e, to o. A nd o nce, h e co ughed .

“T here y ou g o, c o usin ,” h e sa id fin ally a s h e sto pped h is pic k up in f ro nt o f th e P ow wow T av ern . “ I h ope it a ll w ork s o ut, you k now ?” I s h ook h is h an d, o ff e re d h im a f e w e x ag gera te d g if ts , m ad e a c o uple p ro m is e s th at h e k new w ere ju st p ro m is e s, a n d w av ed wild ly a s h e d ro ve o ff , b ack w ard s, a n d a w ay f ro m t h e r e st o f m y lif e . T hen I w alk ed in to th e ta v ern , sh ook m y b ody lik e a d og sh ak in g o ff w ate r. I’v e a lw ay s w an te d to w alk in to a b ar th at way .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “W here t h e h ell i s S uzy B oyd?” I a sk ed .

“R ig ht here , assh ole ,” Suzy an sw ere d quic k ly an d su ccin ctly .

“O kay , S uzy ,” I a sk ed . “ W here t h e h ell i s m y w if e ?” “R ig ht here , assh ole ,” m y w if e an sw ere d quic k ly an d su ccin ctly . T hen sh e p au se d a se co nd b efo re sh e a d ded , “ A nd quit c allin g m e yo ur w ife . I t m ak es m e s o und lik e I ’m a f u ck in g bow lin g b all o r s o m eth in g.” “O kay, o kay, N orm a,” I sa id an d sa t d ow n b esid e h er. I ord ere d a D ie t P ep si fo r m e a n d a p itc h er o f b eer fo r th e n ex t ta b le . T here w as n o o ne sittin g at th e n ex t ta b le . It w as ju st so m eth in g I a lw ay s d id . S om eo ne w ould c o m e a lo ng a n d d rin k i t.

“N orm a,” I sa id . “ I’m so rry . I’m so rry I h av e c an cer a n d I’m s o rry I ’m d yin g.” She to ok a lo ng d rin k o f h er D ie t P ep si, s ta re d a t m e f o r a lo ng t im e. S ta re d h ard .

“A re you goin g to m ak e an y m ore jo kes ab out it? ” sh e ask ed .

“Ju st o ne o r tw o m ore , m ay be,” I s a id a n d s m ile d . It w as ex actly t h e w ro ng t h in g t o s a y . N orm a s la p ped m e i n a n ger, h ad a lo ok o f c o ncern f o r a m om en t a s s h e w ondere d w hat a s la p c o uld do t o a p ers o n w ith t e rm in al c an cer, a n d t h en l o oked a n gry a g ain .

“If y ou s a y a n yth in g fu nny e v er a g ain , I’m g oin g to le av e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" you,” N orm a s a id . “ A nd I ’m f u ck in g s e rio us a b out t h at.” I lo st m y s m ile b rie fly , r e ach ed a cro ss th e ta b le to h old h er han d, a n d s a id s o m eth in g i n cre d ib ly f u nny. I t w as m ay be t h e b est one-lin er I h ad e v er u tte re d . M ay be t h e m om en t t h at w ould h av e mad e m e a s ta r a n yw here e ls e . B ut i n t h e P ow wow T av ern , w hic h was j u st a f ro nt f o r r e ality , N orm a h eard w hat I h ad t o s a y, s to od up, a n d l e ft m e.

Becau se N orm a le ft m e, it’s e v en m ore im porta n t to k now h ow sh e a rriv ed i n m y l if e .

I w as sittin g in th e P ow wow T av ern o n a S atu rd ay n ig ht with m y D ie t P ep si a n d m y s e co nd-fa v orite c o usin , R ay m ond.

“L ook it, lo ok it,” h e s a id a s N orm a w alk ed in to th e ta v ern .

Norm a w as o ver s ix fe et ta ll. W ell, m ay be n ot s ix fe et ta ll b ut sh e w as t a lle r t h an m e, t a lle r t h an e v ery one i n t h e b ar e x cep t t h e bask etb all p la y ers .

“W hat t r ib e y ou t h in k s h e i s ? ” R ay m ond a sk ed m e.

“A m azo n,” I s a id .

“T heir re se rv atio n dow n by San ta Fe, en it? ” R ay m ond ask ed , a n d I la u ghed s o h ard th at N orm a c am e o ver to fin d o ut ab out t h e c o m motio n.

“H ello , little b ro th ers ,” sh e sa id . “ S om eb ody w an t to b uy me a d rin k?” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “W hat y ou h av in g?” I a sk ed .

“D ie t P ep si,” sh e sa id a n d I k new w e w ould fa ll in lo ve.

“L is te n ,” I to ld h er. “ If I s to le 1 ,0 00 h ors e s, I ’d g iv e y ou 5 01 o f th em .” “A nd w hat oth er w om en w ould get th e oth er 499?” sh e ask ed .

And w e la u ghed . T hen w e la u ghed h ard er w hen R ay m ond le an ed i n c lo se r t o t h e t a b le a n d s a id , “ I d on’t g et i t.” Late r, a fte r th e ta v ern c lo se d , N orm a a n d I s a t o uts id e o n my c ar a n d s h are d a c ig are tte . I s h ould s a y th at w e p re te n ded to sh are a c ig are tte s in ce n eith er o f u s s m oked . B ut w e b oth t h ought th e o th er d id a n d w an te d t o h av e a ll t h at m uch m ore i n c o m mon.

Afte r an hour or tw o of co ughin g, ta lk in g sto rie s, an d la u ghte r, w e en ded u p at m y H UD h ouse , w atc h in g la te -n ig ht te le v is io n. R ay m ond w as p asse d o ut i n t h e b ack se at o f m y c ar.

“H ey ,” s h e s a id . “ T hat c o usin o f y ours a in ’t t o o s m art.” “Y eah ,” I s a id . “ B ut h e’s c o ol, y ou k now ?” “M ust b e. B ecau se y ou’re s o g ood t o h im .” “H e’s m y c o usin , y ou k now ? T hat’ s h ow i t i s .” She k is se d m e th en . S oft a t fir s t. T hen h ard er. O ur te eth clic k ed t o geth er l ik e i t w as a j u nio r h ig h k is s. S till, w e s a t o n t h e co uch a n d k is se d u ntil th e te le v is io n s ig ned o ff a n d b ro ke in to white n ois e . I t w as t h e e n d o f a n oth er b ro ad cast d ay .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “L is te n ,” I s a id t h en . “ I s h ould t a k e y ou h om e.” “H om e?” s h e a sk ed . “ I t h ought I w as a t h om e.” “W ell, m y t ip i i s y our t ip i,” I s a id , a n d s h e l iv ed t h ere u ntil th e d ay I t o ld h er t h at I h ad t e rm in al c an cer.

I h av e to m en tio n th e w ed din g, th ough. It w as a t th e S pokan e Trib al L onghouse a n d a ll m y c o usin s a n d h er c o usin s w ere t h ere .

Nearly tw o h undre d p eo ple . E very th in g w en t s m ooth ly u ntil m y se co nd-fa v orite c o usin , R ay m ond, d ru nk a s a s k unk, s to od u p in th e m id dle o f t h e c ere m ony, o bvio usly c o nfu se d .

“I re m em ber J im my re al g ood,” R ay m ond s a id a n d s ta rte d in to h is e u lo gy f o r m e a s I s to od n ot t w o f e et f ro m h im . “ Jim my was a lw ay s q uic k w ith a j o ke. M ak e y ou l a u gh a ll t h e d am n t im e.

I r e m em ber o nce a t m y g ra n dm oth er’s w ak e, h e w as s ta n din g b y th e c o ff in . N ow , y ou g ot t o r e m em ber h e w as o nly s e v en o r e ig ht years o ld . A nyw ay, h e s ta rts ju m pin g u p a n d d ow n, y ellin g, She moved , s h e m oved .” Every one at th e w ed din g la u ghed becau se it w as pre tty much t h e s a m e c ro w d t h at w as a t t h e f u nera l. R ay m ond s m ile d a t his n ew ly d is c o vere d p ublic s p eak in g a b ility a n d c o ntin ued .

“Jim my w as alw ay s th e o ne to m ak e p eo ple fe el b ette r, to o,” h e s a id . “ I r e m em ber o nce w hen h e a n d I w ere d rin kin g a t th e P ow wow T av ern w hen all of a su dden L este r F alls A part "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" co m es r u nnin g i n a n d s a y s t h at t e n I n dia n s j u st g ot k ille d i n a c ar wre ck o n F ord C an yon R oad . Ten S kin s?

I a sk ed L este r, a n d h e sa id , Yea h, t e n . A nd t h en J im my s ta rts u p s in gin g, One l ittle , t w o little , th re e little I n dia ns, fo ur little , fiv e little , s ix little I n dia ns, se ven l ittle , e ig ht l ittle , n in e l ittle I n dia ns, t e n l ittle I n dia n b oys .” Every one in th e w ed din g la u ghed so m e m ore , but als o lo oked a little te n se a fte r th at s to ry , s o I g ra b bed R ay m ond a n d le d h im b ack to h is s e at. H e s ta re d in cre d ulo usly a t m e, tr ie d to re co ncile h is r e cen t e u lo gy w ith m y s u dden a p peara n ce. H e ju st sa t th ere until th e pre ach er ask ed th at m ost rh eto ric al of questio ns:

“A nd if th ere is an yone h ere w ho h as o bje ctio ns to th is unio n, s p eak n ow o r f o re v er h old y our p eace.” Ray m ond s ta g gere d a n d s tu m ble d t o h is f e et, t h en s ta g gere d an d s tu m ble d u p t o t h e p re ach er.

“R ev ere n d,” R ay m ond sa id . “I hate to in te rru pt, but m y co usin i s d ead , y ou k now ? I t h in k t h at m ig ht b e a p ro ble m .” Ray m ond p asse d o ut a t t h at m om en t, a n d N orm a a n d I w ere marrie d w ith h is b ody d ra p ed u ncere m onio usly o ver o ur f e et.

Thre e m onth s a fte r N orm a le ft m e, I la y in m y h osp ita l b ed in Spokan e, ju st b ack fro m an oth er stu pid an d u se le ss ra d ia tio n tr e atm en t.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “Je su s,” I s a id t o m y a tte n din g p hysic ia n . “ A f e w m ore z ap s an d I ’ll b e S uperm an .” “R eally ?” th e d octo r s a id . “ I n ev er r e aliz ed th at C la rk K en t was a S pokan e I n dia n .” And w e la u ghed , y ou k now , b ecau se so m etim es th at’s a ll tw o p eo ple h av e i n c o m mon.

“S o,” I a sk ed h er. “ W hat’ s m y l a te st p ro gnosis ? ” “W ell,” s h e s a id . “ It c o m es d ow n t o t h is . Y ou’re d yin g.” “N ot a g ain ,” I s a id .

“Y up, J im my, y ou’re s till d yin g.” And w e l a u ghed , y ou k now , b ecau se s o m etim es y ou’d r a th er cry .

“W ell,” t h e d octo r s a id . “ I’v e g ot o th er p atie n ts t o s e e.” As s h e w alk ed o ut, I w an te d to c all h er b ack a n d m ak e a n urg en t c o nfe ssio n, to a sk f o rg iv en ess, to o ff e r tr u th in r e tu rn f o r sa lv atio n. B ut s h e w as o nly a d octo r. A g ood d octo r, b ut s till j u st a d octo r.

“H ey , D r. A dam s,” I s a id .

“W hat? ” “N oth in g,” I s a id . “ Ju st w an te d t o h ear y our n am e. I t s o unds lik e d ru m s t o t h ese h eav ily m ed ic ate d I n dia n e ars o f m in e.” And s h e l a u ghed a n d I l a u ghed , t o o. T hat’ s w hat h ap pen ed .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Norm a w as th e w orld c h am pio n f ry b re ad m ak er. H er f ry b re ad was p erfe ct, l ik e o ne o f t h ose d re am s y ou w ak e u p f ro m a n d s a y, I d id n’t w ant t o w ake u p .

“I th in k th is is y our b est f ry b re ad e v er,” I to ld N orm a o ne day . I n f a ct, i t w as J a n uary 2 2.

“T han k y ou,” s h e s a id . “ N ow y ou g et t o w ash t h e d is h es.” So I w as w ash in g th e d is h es w hen th e p hone ra n g. N orm a an sw ere d i t a n d I c o uld h ear h er h alf o f t h e c o nvers a tio n.

“H ello .” “Y es, t h is i s N orm a M an y H ors e s.” “N o.” “N o!” “ No!

” N orm a y elle d a s s h e th re w th e p hone d ow n a n d ra n outs id e. I pic k ed th e re ceiv er up care fu lly , afra id of w hat it mig ht s a y t o m e.

“H ello ,” I s a id .

“W ho a m I s p eak in g t o ?” t h e v oic e o n t h e o th er e n d a sk ed .

“Jim my M an y H ors e s. I ’m N orm a’s h usb an d.” “O h, M r. M an y H ors e s. I h ate to b e th e b eare r o f b ad n ew s, but, u h, a s I ju st to ld y our w if e , y our m oth er- in -la w , u h, p asse d aw ay t h is m orn in g.” “T han k y ou,” I s a id , h ung u p t h e p hone, a n d s a w t h at N orm a had r e tu rn ed .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “O h, J im my,” s h e s a id , t a lk in g t h ro ugh t e ars .

“I c an ’t b elie v e I ju st sa id th ank y o u to th at g uy,” I sa id .

“W hat d oes th at m ean ? T han k y ou th at m y m oth er- in -la w is dead ? T han k y ou th at y ou to ld m e th at m y m oth er- in -la w is dead ? T han k y ou t h at y ou t o ld m e t h at m y m oth er- in -la w i s d ead an d m ad e m y w if e c ry ?” “Jim my,” N orm a s a id . “ S to p. I t’ s n ot f u nny.” But I d id n’t s to p. T hen o r n ow .

Still, y ou h av e t o r e aliz e t h at l a u ghte r s a v ed N orm a a n d m e f ro m pain , to o. H um or w as a n a n tis e p tic th at c le an ed th e d eep est o f pers o nal w ounds.

Once, a W ash in gto n S ta te p atr o lm an s to pped N orm a a n d m e as w e d ro ve to S pokan e to s e e a m ovie , g et s o m e d in ner, a B ig Gulp a t 7 -1 1.

“E xcu se m e, o ffic er,” I a sk ed . “ W hat d id I d o w ro ng?” “Y ou fa ile d to m ak e p ro per s ig nal fo r a tu rn a fe w b lo ck s back ,” h e s a id .

That w as in te re stin g b ecau se I h ad b een d riv in g d ow n a str a ig ht h ig hw ay fo r o ver fiv e m ile s. T he o nly tu rn s p ossib le were d ow n d ir t ro ad s to w ard h ouse s w here n o o ne I e v er k new had liv ed . B ut I k new to p la y a lo ng w ith h is g am e. A ll y ou c an hope fo r in th ese little w ars is to m in im iz e th e am ount of "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" dam ag e.

“I’m s o rry a b out t h at, o ff ic er,” I s a id . “ B ut y ou k now h ow i t is . I w as l is te n in g t o t h e r a d io , t a p pin g m y f o ot. I t’s t h ose d ru m s, you k now ?” “W hate v er,” th e tr o oper sa id . “ N ow , I n eed y our d riv er’s lic en se , r e g is tr a tio n, a n d p ro of o f i n su ra n ce.” I h an ded h im t h e s tu ff a n d h e b are ly l o oked a t i t. H e l e an ed dow n i n to t h e w in dow o f t h e c ar.

“H ey , c h ie f,” h e a sk ed . “ H av e y ou b een d rin kin g?” “I d on’t d rin k,” I s a id .

“H ow a b out y our w om an t h ere ?” “A sk h er y ours e lf ,” I s a id .

The t r o oper l o oked a t m e, b lin ked a f e w s e co nds, p au se d f o r dra m atic e ff e ct, a n d s a id , “ D on’t y ou e v en t h in k a b out t e llin g m e what I s h ould d o.” “I d on’t d rin k, e ith er,” N orm a s a id q uic k ly , h opin g t o a v oid an y f u rth er c o nfro nta tio n. “ A nd I w asn ’t d riv in g a n yw ay .” “T hat don’t m ak e an y diff e re n ce,” th e tr o oper sa id .

“W ash in gto n S ta te h as a n ew l a w a g ain st r id in g a s a p asse n ger i n an I n dia n c ar.” “O ff ic er,” I s a id . “ T hat a in ’t n ew . W e’v e k now n a b out th at one f o r a c o uple h undre d y ears .” The tr o oper sm ile d a little , b ut it w as a h ard sm ile . Y ou "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" know t h e k in d.

“H ow ev er,” h e sa id . “I th in k w e can m ak e so m e k in d o f arra n gem en t s o n one o f t h is h as t o g o o n y our r e co rd .” “H ow m uch i s i t g oin g t o c o st m e?” I a sk ed .

“H ow m uch d o y ou h av e?” “A bout a h undre d b uck s.” “W ell,” th e tr o oper sa id . “ I d on’t w an t to le av e y ou w ith noth in g. L et’ s s a y t h e f in e i s n in ety -n in e d olla rs .” I g av e h im a ll t h e m oney, t h ough, f o ur t w en tie s, a t e n , e ig ht dolla r b ills , a n d t w o h undre d p en nie s i n a s a n dw ic h b ag .

“H ey,” I sa id . “ T ak e it a ll. T hat e x tr a d olla r is a tip , y ou know ? Y our s e rv ic e h as b een e x celle n t.” Norm a w an te d to la u gh th en . S he c o vere d h er m outh a n d pre te n ded to c o ugh. H is fa ce tu rn ed re d . I m ean re d der th an it alr e ad y w as.

“In f a ct,” I s a id a s I l o oked a t t h e t r o oper’s b ad ge. “ I m ig ht ju st s e n d a l e tte r t o y our c o m man din g o ff ic er. I ’ll j u st w rite t h at Wash in gto n S ta te P atr o lm an D . N ola n , b ad ge n um ber 1 3746, w as polite , c o urte o us, a n d a b ove a ll, l e g al a s a n e ag le .” Norm a l a u ghed o ut l o ud n ow .

“L is te n ,” th e tr o oper s a id . “ I c an ju st ta k e y ou b oth in r ig ht now . F or r e ck le ss d riv in g, r e sis tin g a rre st, th re ate n in g a n o ff ic er with p hysic al v io le n ce.” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “If y ou d o,” N orm a s a id a n d ju m ped in to th e f u n, “ I’ll ju st te ll e v ery one h ow re sp ectf u l y ou w ere o f o ur N ativ e tr a d itio ns, how m uch y ou u nders to od a b out th e s o cia l c o nditio ns th at le ad to th e crim in al acts of so m an y In dia n s. I’ll sa y you w ere sy m path etic , c o ncern ed , a n d i n te llig en t.” “F uck in g In dia n s,” th e tr o oper sa id as he th re w th e sa n dw ic h b ag o f p en nie s b ack in to o ur c ar, s e n din g th em f ly in g all o ver t h e i n te rio r. “ A nd k eep y our d am n c h an ge.” We w atc h ed h im w alk b ack to h is cru is e r, clim b in , an d driv e o ff , b re ak in g f o ur o r f iv e la w s a s h e f lip ped a U -tu rn , le ft ru bber, c ro sse d th e c en te r lin e, b ro ke th e sp eed lim it, a n d ra n th ro ugh a s to p s ig n w ith out l ig hts a n d s ir e n .

We la u ghed a s w e p ic k ed u p th e s c atte re d p en nie s f ro m th e flo or o f th e c ar. It w as a g ood th in g th at th e tr o oper th re w th at ch an ge b ack a t u s b ecau se w e fo und ju st e n ough g as m oney to get u s h om e.

Afte r N orm a le ft m e, I’d occasio nally get postc ard s fro m pow wow s a ll o ver th e c o untr y . S he m is se d m e in W ash in gto n, Ore g on, Id ah o, M onta n a, N ev ad a, U ta h , N ew M ex ic o , an d Calif o rn ia . I ju st s ta y ed o n th e S pokan e In dia n R ese rv atio n a n d mis se d h er f ro m t h e d oorw ay o f m y H UD h ouse , f ro m t h e l iv in g ro om w in dow , w aitin g f o r t h e d ay t h at s h e w ould c o m e b ack .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" But th at’s h ow N orm a o pera te d . S he to ld m e o nce th at s h e would l e av e m e w hen ev er t h e l o ve s ta rte d t o g o b ad .

“I a in ’t g oin g to w atc h th e w hole th in g c o lla p se ,” s h e s a id .

“I’ll g et o ut w hen t h e g ettin g i s g ood.” “Y ou w ould n’t e v en t r y t o s a v e u s? ” I a sk ed .

“It w ould n’t b e w orth s a v in g a t t h at p oin t.” “T hat’ s p re tty c o ld .” “T hat’ s n ot c o ld ,” s h e s a id . “ It’ s p ra ctic al.” But d on’t g et m e w ro ng, eith er. N orm a w as a w arrio r in ev ery s e n se o f t h e w ord . S he w ould d riv e a h undre d m ile s r o und- tr ip t o v is it t r ib al e ld ers i n t h e n urs in g h om es i n S pokan e. W hen one o f th ose eld ers d ie d , N orm a w ould w eep v io le n tly , th ro w books a n d f u rn itu re .

“E very o ne o f o ur e ld ers w ho d ie s ta k es a p ie ce o f o ur p ast aw ay,” s h e s a id . “ A nd t h at h urts m ore b ecau se I d on’t k now h ow much o f a f u tu re w e h av e.” And o nce, w hen w e d ro ve u p o n a r e ally h orrib le c ar w re ck , sh e h eld a d yin g m an ’s h ead in h er la p a n d s a n g to h im u ntil h e passe d a w ay. H e w as a w hite g uy, to o. R em em ber th at. S he k ep t th at m em ory s o c lo se t o h er t h at s h e h ad n ig htm are s f o r a y ear.

“I a lw ay s d re am t h at i t’s y ou w ho’s d yin g,” s h e t o ld m e a n d did n’t l e t m e d riv e t h e c ar f o r a lm ost a y ear.

Norm a, s h e w as a lw ay s a fra id ; s h e w asn ’t a fra id .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" One th in g th at I n otic ed in th e h osp ita l a s I c o ughed m yse lf u p an d d ow n t h e b ed : A c lo ck , a t l e ast o ne o f t h ose o ld -s ty le c lo ck s with h an ds a n d a f a ce, lo oks ju st lik e s o m eb ody la u ghin g if y ou sta re a t i t l o ng e n ough.

The h osp ita l re le ase d m e b ecau se th ey d ecid ed th at I w ould b e much m ore co m fo rta b le at h om e. A nd th ere I w as, at h om e, writin g l e tte rs t o m y l o ved o nes o n s p ecia l r e se rv atio n s ta tio nery th at r e ad : FR O M T H E D EA TH B ED O F J A M ES M ANY H ORSE S , III .

But in r e ality , I s a t a t m y k itc h en ta b le to w rite , a n d DEA TH TA BLE ju st d oesn ’t h av e th e n ecessa ry m usic . I’m a ls o th e o nly Ja m es M an y H ors e s, b ut th ere is a c erta in d ig nity to a n y k in d o f artif ic ia l t r a d itio n.

Anyw ay, I s a t th ere a t th e d eath ta b le , w ritin g le tte rs fro m my d eath b ed , w hen t h ere w as a k nock o n t h e d oor.

“C om e in ,” I yelle d , know in g th e door w as lo ck ed , an d sm ile d w hen i t r a ttle d a g ain st t h e f ra m e.

“It’s l o ck ed ,” a f e m ale v oic e s a id a n d i t w as a f e m ale v oic e I r e co gniz ed .

“N orm a?” I a sk ed a s I u nlo ck ed a n d o pen ed t h e d oor.

She w as beau tif u l. S he had eith er gain ed or lo st tw en ty pounds, o ne b ra id h ung d ow n a little lo nger th an th e o th er, a n d sh e h ad i r o ned h er s h ir t u ntil t h e c re ase s w ere s h arp .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “H oney ,” s h e s a id . “ I’m h om e.” I w as s ile n t. T hat w as a r a re e v en t.

“H oney ,” s h e s a id . “ I’v e b een g one s o l o ng a n d I m is se d y ou so m uch . B ut n ow I ’m b ack . W here I b elo ng.” I h ad t o s m ile .

“W here a re t h e k id s? ” s h e a sk ed .

“T hey ’re a sle ep ,” I s a id , r e co vere d ju st in tim e to c o ntin ue th e jo ke. “ P oor little g uys tr ie d to s ta y a w ak e, y ou k now ? T hey wan te d to b e u p w hen y ou g ot h om e. B ut, o ne b y o ne, th ey dro pped o ff , fe ll a sle ep , a n d I h ad to c arry th em o ff in to th eir little b ed s.” “W ell,” N orm a s a id . “ I’ll ju st g o in a n d k is s th em q uie tly .

Tell th em h ow m uch I lo ve th em . F ix th e s h eets a n d b la n kets s o th ey ’ll b e w arm a ll n ig ht.” She s m ile d .

“Jim my,” s h e s a id . “ Y ou l o ok l ik e s h it.” “Y eah , I k now .” “I’m s o rry I l e ft.” “W here ’v e y ou b een ?” I a sk ed , th ough I d id n’t r e ally w an t to k now .

“In A rle e. L iv ed w ith a F la th ead c o usin o f m in e.” “C ousin a s in c o usin ? O r c o usin a s in I-w as-fu ck in g-h im - but- d on’t- w an t- to -te ll- y ou-b ecau se -y ou’re -d yin g?” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" She s m ile d e v en t h ough s h e d id n’t w an t t o .

“W ell,” sh e sa id . “I guess you’d call him m ore of th at se co nd k in d o f c o usin .” Belie v e m e: n oth in g e v er h urt m ore . N ot e v en m y tu m ors whic h a re t h e a p pro xim ate s iz e o f b ase b alls .

“W hy’d y ou c o m e b ack ?” I a sk ed h er.

She lo oked a t m e, tr ie d to s u ppre ss a g ig gle , th en b ro ke o ut in to f u ll- fle d ged l a u ghte r. I j o in ed h er.

“W ell,” I a sk ed h er a g ain a fte r a w hile . “ W hy’d y ou c o m e back ?” She tu rn ed sto ic , g av e m e th at b eau tif u l T onto fa ce, an d sa id , “ B ecau se h e w as s o f u ck in g s e rio us a b out e v ery th in g.” We la u ghed a little m ore a n d th en I a sk ed h er o ne m ore tim e, “ R eally , w hy’d y ou c o m e b ack ?” “B ecau se s o m eo ne n eed s t o h elp y ou d ie t h e r ig ht w ay,” s h e sa id . “ A nd w e b oth k now th at d yin g a in ’t so m eth in g y ou e v er done b efo re .” I h ad t o a g re e w ith t h at.

“A nd m ay be,” sh e sa id , “b ecau se m ak in g fry bre ad an d help in g p eo ple d ie a re t h e l a st t w o t h in gs I n dia n s a re g ood a t.” “W ell,” I s a id . “ A t l e ast y ou’re g ood a t o ne o f t h em .” And w e l a u ghed .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" IN DIA N E D UCATIO N FIR ST G RADE M Y H AIR W AS T O O s h ort a n d m y U .S . G overn m en t g la sse s w ere h orn -rim med , u gly , a n d a ll th at fir s t w in te r in s c h ool, th e o th er I n dia n b oys c h ase d m e f ro m o ne c o rn er o f th e p la y gro und to th e o th er. T hey p ush ed m e d ow n, b urie d m e in th e sn ow u ntil I c o uld n’t b re ath e, t h ought I ’d n ev er b re ath e a g ain .

They s to le m y g la sse s a n d t h re w t h em o ver m y h ead , a ro und m y outs tr e tc h ed han ds, ju st bey ond m y re ach , until so m eo ne t r ip ped m e a n d s e n t m e f a llin g a g ain , f a ced ow n i n t h e s n ow .

I w as a lw ay s f a llin g d ow n; m y I n dia n n am e w as J u nio r F alls D ow n. S om etim es i t w as B lo ody N ose o r S te al- H is -L unch . O nce, i t w as C rie s-L ik e-a -W hite -B oy, e v en t h ough n one o f u s h ad s e en a w hite b oy c ry .

Then it w as a F rid ay m orn in g re cess a n d F re n ch y S iJ o hn t h re w s n ow balls a t m e w hile th e r e st o f th e I n dia n b oys to rtu re d s o m e o th er to p-y o gh-y a ught k id , a n oth er w eak lin g. B ut F re n ch y w as c o nfid en t e n ough to to rm en t m e a ll b y h im se lf , a n d m ost d ay s I w ould h av e l e t h im .

But th e little w arrio r in m e ro are d to lif e th at day an d " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" knock ed F re n ch y to th e g ro und, h eld h is h ead a g ain st th e s n ow , an d p unch ed h im s o h ard th at m y k nuck le s a n d th e s n ow m ad e sy m metr ic al b ru is e s o n h is fa ce. H e a lm ost lo oked lik e h e w as wearin g w ar p ain t.

But h e w asn ’t th e w arrio r. I w as. A nd I c h an te d It’s a g ood day to die , it’s a good day to die , all th e w ay dow n to th e prin cip al’ s o ffic e.

SE C O ND G RADE Betty T ow le , m is sio nary t e ach er, r e d head ed a n d s o u gly t h at no o ne e v er h ad a p uppy c ru sh o n h er, m ad e m e s ta y i n f o r r e cess fo urte en d ay s s tr a ig ht.

“T ell m e y ou’re s o rry ,” s h e s a id .

“S orry f o r w hat? ” I a sk ed .

“E very th in g,” sh e sa id an d m ad e m e sta n d str a ig ht fo r fif te en m in ute s, e ag le -a rm ed w ith b ooks i n e ach h an d. O ne w as a math b ook; th e o th er w as E nglis h . B ut all I le arn ed w as th at gra v ity c an b e p ain fu l.

For H allo w een I d re w a p ic tu re o f h er r id in g a b ro om w ith a sc ra w ny cat o n th e b ack . S he sa id th at h er G od w ould n ev er fo rg iv e m e f o r t h at.

Once, s h e g av e t h e c la ss a s p ellin g t e st b ut s e t m e a sid e a n d "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" gav e m e a t e st d esig ned f o r j u nio r h ig h s tu den ts . W hen I s p elle d all th e w ord s r ig ht, s h e c ru m ple d u p th e p ap er a n d m ad e m e e at it.

“Y ou’ll l e arn r e sp ect,” s h e s a id .

She s e n t a l e tte r h om e w ith m e t h at t o ld m y p are n ts t o e ith er cu t m y b ra id s o r k eep m e h om e f ro m c la ss. M y p are n ts c am e in th e n ex t d ay a n d d ra g ged t h eir b ra id s a cro ss B etty T ow le ’s d esk .

“In dia n s, in dia n s, in dia n s.” She sa id it with out cap ita liz atio n. S he c alle d m e “ in dia n , i n dia n , i n dia n .” And I s a id , Yes, I a m . I a m I n dia n. I n dia n, I a m .

TH IR D G RADE My tr a d itio nal N ativ e A m eric an a rt c are er b eg an a n d e n ded with m y v ery fir s t p ortr a it: Stic k In dia n Ta kin g a P is s in M y Backya rd .

As I c ir c u la te d t h e o rig in al p rin t a ro und t h e c la ssro om , M rs .

Sch lu te r i n te rc ep te d a n d c o nfis c ate d m y a rt.

Cen so rsh ip , I m ig ht cry now . Fre ed om of exp re ssio n , I would w rite i n e d ito ria ls t o t h e t r ib al n ew sp ap er.

In t h ir d g ra d e, t h ough, I s to od a lo ne i n t h e c o rn er, f a ced t h e wall, a n d w aite d f o r t h e p unis h m en t t o e n d.

I’m s till w aitin g.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" FO URTH G RADE “Y ou s h ould b e a d octo r w hen y ou g ro w u p,” M r. S ch lu te r to ld m e, e v en th ough h is w if e , th e th ir d g ra d e te ach er, th ought I was c ra zy b ey ond m y y ears . M y e y es a lw ay s lo oked lik e I h ad ju st h it- a n d-ru n s o m eo ne.

“G uilty ,” s h e s a id . “ Y ou a lw ay s l o ok g uilty .” “W hy s h ould I b e a d octo r? ” I a sk ed M r. S ch lu te r.

“S o y ou c an c o m e b ack a n d h elp th e tr ib e. S o y ou c an h eal peo ple .” That w as th e y ear m y f a th er d ra n k a g allo n o f v odka a d ay an d th e s a m e y ear th at m y m oth er s ta rte d tw o h undre d d iff e re n t quilts b ut n ev er f in is h ed a n y. T hey s a t i n s e p ara te , d ark p la ces i n our H UD h ouse a n d w ep t s a v ag ely .

I r a n h om e a fte r s c h ool, h eard t h eir I n dia n t e ars , a n d l o oked in th e m ir ro r. D octo r V ic to r, I calle d m yse lf , in ven te d an ed ucatio n, ta lk ed to my re fle ctio n. Docto r Vic to r to th e em erg en cy r o om .

FIF T H G RADE I p ic k ed u p a b ask etb all f o r t h e f ir s t t im e a n d m ad e m y f ir s t sh ot. N o. I m is se d m y fir s t s h ot, m is se d th e b ask et c o m ple te ly , "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" an d th e b all la n ded in th e d ir t a n d s a w dust, s a t th ere ju st lik e I had s a t t h ere o nly m in ute s b efo re .

But i t f e lt g ood, t h at b all i n m y h an ds, a ll t h ose p ossib ilitie s an d a n gle s. I t w as m ath em atic s, g eo m etr y . I t w as b eau tif u l.

At th at sa m e m om en t, m y co usin S te v en F ord sn iff e d ru bber cem en t f ro m a p ap er b ag a n d l e an ed b ack o n t h e m erry -g o-ro und.

His e ars ra n g, h is m outh w as d ry , a n d e v ery one s e em ed s o fa r aw ay .

But it f e lt g ood, th at b uzz in h is h ead , a ll th ose c o lo rs a n d nois e s. I t w as c h em is tr y , b io lo gy. I t w as b eau tif u l.

Oh, d o y ou r e m em ber th ose s w eet, a lm ost in nocen t c h oic es th at th e I n dia n b oys w ere f o rc ed t o m ak e?

SIX TH G RADE Ran dy, th e new In dia n kid fro m th e white to w n of Sprin gdale , g ot i n to a f ig ht a n h our a fte r h e f ir s t w alk ed i n to t h e re se rv atio n s c h ool.

Ste v ie F le tt c alle d h im o ut, c alle d h im a s q uaw m an , c alle d him a p ussy , a n d c alle d h im a p unk.

Ran dy a n d S te v ie , a n d th e re st o f th e In dia n b oys, w alk ed out i n to t h e p la y gro und.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “T hro w t h e f ir s t p unch ,” S te v ie s a id a s t h ey s q uare d o ff.

“N o,” R an dy s a id .

“T hro w t h e f ir s t p unch ,” S te v ie s a id a g ain .

“N o,” R an dy s a id a g ain .

“T hro w th e f ir s t p unch !” S te v ie s a id f o r th e th ir d tim e, a n d Ran dy re are d back an d pitc h ed a knuck le fa stb all th at bro ke Ste v ie ’s n ose .

We a ll s to od t h ere i n s ile n ce, i n a w e.

That w as R an dy, m y s o on-to -b e fir s t a n d b est frie n d, w ho ta u ght m e th e m ost v alu ab le le sso n ab out liv in g in th e w hite world : Alw ays t h ro w t h e f ir st p unch .

SE V EN TH G RADE I le an ed th ro ugh th e b ase m en t w in dow o f th e H UD h ouse an d k is se d t h e w hite g ir l w ho w ould l a te r b e r a p ed b y h er f o ste r- pare n t fa th er, w ho w as als o w hite . T hey both liv ed on th e re se rv atio n, t h ough, a n d w hen t h e h ead lin es a n d s to rie s f ille d t h e pap ers l a te r, n ot o ne w ord w as m ad e o f t h eir c o lo r.

Ju st In dia ns bein g In dia ns , so m eo ne m ust hav e sa id so m ew here a n d t h ey w ere w ro ng.

But o n t h e d ay I l e an ed t h ro ugh t h e b ase m en t w in dow o f t h e HUD h ouse a n d k is se d th e w hite g ir l, I f e lt th e g ood-b yes I w as "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" sa y in g to m y e n tir e tr ib e. I h eld m y lip s tig ht a g ain st h er lip s, a dry , c lu m sy , a n d u ltim ate ly s tu pid k is s.

But I w as s a y in g g ood-b ye t o m y t r ib e, t o a ll t h e I n dia n g ir ls an d w om en I m ig ht h av e l o ved , t o a ll t h e I n dia n m en w ho m ig ht hav e c alle d m e c o usin , e v en b ro th er.

I k is se d t h at w hite g ir l a n d w hen I o pen ed m y e y es, s h e w as gone fro m th e re se rv atio n, a n d w hen I o pen ed m y e y es, I w as gone fro m th e re se rv atio n, liv in g in a fa rm to w n w here a beau tif u l w hite g ir l a sk ed m y n am e.

“Ju nio r P ola tk in ,” I s a id , a n d s h e l a u ghed .

Afte r th at, n o o ne sp oke to m e fo r an oth er fiv e h undre d years .

EIG HTH G RADE At t h e f a rm t o w n j u nio r h ig h, i n t h e b oys’ b ath ro om , I c o uld hear voic es fro m th e gir ls ’ bath ro om , nerv ous w his p ers of an ore x ia an d bulim ia . I co uld hear th e w hite gir ls ’ fo rc ed vom itin g, a s o und s o fa m ilia r a n d n atu ra l to m e a fte r y ears o f lis te n in g t o m y f a th er’s h an govers .

“G iv e m e y our lu nch if y ou’re ju st g oin g to th ro w it u p,” I sa id t o o ne o f t h ose g ir ls o nce.

I s a t b ack a n d w atc h ed t h em g ro w s k in ny f ro m s e lf -p ity .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Back on th e re se rv atio n, m y m oth er sto od in lin e to get us co m moditie s. W e c arrie d th em h om e, h ap py to h av e fo od, a n d open ed t h e c an ned b eef t h at e v en t h e d ogs w ould n’t e at.

But w e a te i t d ay a fte r d ay a n d g re w s k in ny f ro m s e lf -p ity .

There i s m ore t h an o ne w ay t o s ta rv e.

NIN TH G RADE At t h e f a rm t o w n h ig h s c h ool d an ce, a fte r a b ask etb all g am e in a n o verh eate d g ym w here I h ad sc o re d tw en ty -s e v en p oin ts an d p ulle d d ow n th ir te en re b ounds, I p asse d o ut d urin g a s lo w so ng.

As m y w hite f rie n ds r e v iv ed m e a n d p re p are d t o t a k e m e t o th e em erg en cy ro om w here docto rs w ould la te r dia g nose m y dia b ete s, t h e C hic an o t e ach er r a n u p t o u s.

“H ey,” h e s a id . “ W hat’s th at b oy b een d rin kin g? I k now a ll ab out t h ese I n dia n k id s. T hey s ta rt d rin kin g r e al y oung.” Sharin g d ark s k in d oesn ’t n ecessa rily m ak e t w o m en b ro th ers .

TEN TH G RADE I passe d th e w ritte n te st easily an d nearly flu nked th e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" driv in g, b ut s till r e ceiv ed m y W ash in gto n S ta te d riv er’s lic en se on t h e s a m e d ay t h at W ally J im k ille d h im se lf b y d riv in g h is c ar in to a p in e t r e e.

No tr a ces o f a lc o hol in h is b lo od, g ood jo b, w if e a n d tw o kid s.

“W hy’d h e d o i t? ” a sk ed a w hite W ash in gto n S ta te t r o oper.

All t h e I n dia n s s h ru gged t h eir s h ould ers , l o oked d ow n a t t h e gro und.

“D on’t k now ,” w e a ll s a id , b ut w hen w e lo ok in th e m ir ro r, se e th e h is to ry o f o ur tr ib e in o ur e y es, ta ste fa ilu re in th e ta p wate r, a n d s h ak e w ith o ld t e ars , w e u nders ta n d c o m ple te ly .

Belie v e m e, e v ery th in g lo oks lik e a n oose if y ou s ta re a t it lo ng e n ough.

ELEV EN TH G RADE Last n ig ht I m is se d tw o f re e th ro w s w hic h w ould h av e w on th e g am e a g ain st th e b est te am in th e s ta te . T he f a rm to w n h ig h sc h ool I p la y fo r is n ic k nam ed th e “ In dia n s,” a n d I’m p ro bab ly th e o nly a ctu al I n dia n e v er t o p la y f o r a t e am w ith s u ch a m asc o t.

This m orn in g I pic k up th e sp orts pag e an d re ad th e head lin e: IN DIA NS L O SE A GAIN .

Go a h ead a n d te ll m e n one o f th is is s u ppose d to h urt m e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" very m uch .

TW ELFT H G RADE I w alk d ow n th e a is le , v ale d ic to ria n o f th is f a rm to w n h ig h sc h ool, an d m y cap doesn ’t fit becau se I’v e gro w n m y hair lo nger th an it’s ev er b een . L ate r, I sta n d as th e sc h ool b oard ch air m an r e cite s m y a w ard s, a cco m plis h m en ts , a n d s c h ola rs h ip s.

I tr y to r e m ain s to ic f o r th e p hoto gra p hers a s I lo ok to w ard th e f u tu re .

Back h om e o n t h e r e se rv atio n, m y f o rm er c la ssm ate s g ra d uate : a fe w c an ’t re ad , o ne o r tw o a re ju st g iv en a tte n dan ce d ip lo m as, most l o ok f o rw ard t o t h e p artie s. T he b rig ht s tu den ts a re s h ak en , frig hte n ed , b ecau se t h ey d on’t k now w hat c o m es n ex t.

They s m ile fo r th e p hoto gra p her a s th ey lo ok b ack to w ard tr a d itio n.

The tr ib al n ew sp ap er r u ns m y p hoto gra p h a n d th e p hoto gra p h o f my f o rm er c la ssm ate s s id e b y s id e.

PO ST SC RIP T : C LA SS R EU NIO N Vic to r sa id , “ W hy sh ould w e o rg an iz e a re se rv atio n h ig h "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" sc h ool re u nio n? M y gra d uatin g cla ss has a re u nio n ev ery week en d a t t h e P ow wow T av ern .” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" T H E L O NE R ANG ER A ND TO NTO F IS T FIG HT I N HEA VEN T OO H OT T O S L EEP s o I w alk ed d ow n t o t h e T hir d A ven ue 7 -1 1 f o r a C re am sic le an d th e co m pan y o f a g ra v ey ard -s h if t cash ie r. I k now th at g am e. I w ork ed g ra v ey ard fo r a S eattle 7 -1 1 a n d g ot r o bbed o nce t o o o fte n . T he l a st t im e t h e b asta rd l o ck ed m e i n t h e c o ole r. H e e v en t o ok m y m oney a n d b ask etb all s h oes.

The gra v ey ard -s h if t w ork er in th e Thir d A ven ue 7-1 1 l o oked l ik e t h ey a ll d o. A cn e s c ars a n d a b ad h air c u t, w ork p an ts t h at s h ow ed o ff h is w hite s o ck s, a n d t h ose c h eap b la ck s h oes t h at h av e n o s u pport. M y a rc h es s till a ch e f ro m m y y ear a t t h e S eattle 7 -1 1.

“H ello ,” h e a sk ed w hen I w alk ed in to h is s to re . “ H ow y ou d oin g?” I g av e h im a h alf -w av e a s I h ead ed b ack to th e f re ezer. H e l o oked m e o ver so h e c o uld d esc rib e m e to th e p olic e la te r. I k new t h e l o ok. O ne o f m y o ld g ir lf rie n ds s a id I s ta rte d t o l o ok a t h er th at w ay, to o. S he le ft m e n ot lo ng a fte r th at. N o, I le ft h er a n d d on’t b la m e h er f o r a n yth in g. T hat’s h ow i t h ap pen ed . W hen " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" one p ers o n s ta rts t o l o ok a t a n oth er l ik e a c rim in al, t h en t h e l o ve is o ver. I t’ s l o gic al.

“I d on’t t r u st y ou,” s h e s a id t o m e. “ Y ou g et t o o a n gry .” She w as w hite a n d I liv ed w ith h er in S eattle . S om e n ig hts we fo ught s o b ad th at I w ould ju st g et in m y c ar a n d d riv e a ll nig ht, o nly s to p t o f ill u p o n g as. I n f a ct, I w ork ed t h e g ra v ey ard sh if t to sp en d a s m uch tim e a w ay fro m h er a s p ossib le . B ut I le arn ed a ll a b out S eattle t h at w ay , d riv in g i ts b ack w ay s a n d d ir ty alle y s.

Som etim es, t h ough, I w ould f o rg et w here I w as a n d g et l o st.

I’d d riv e f o r h ours , s e arc h in g f o r s o m eth in g f a m ilia r. S eem s l ik e I’d sp en t m y w hole lif e th at w ay, lo okin g fo r an yth in g I re co gniz ed . O nce, I e n ded u p in a n ic e r e sid en tia l n eig hborh ood an d so m eb ody m ust hav e been w orrie d becau se th e polic e sh ow ed u p a n d p ulle d m e o ver.

“W hat a re y ou d oin g o ut h ere ?” t h e p olic e o ff ic er a sk ed m e as h e l o oked o ver m y l ic en se a n d r e g is tr a tio n.

“I’m l o st.” “W ell, w here a re y ou s u ppose d to b e?” h e a sk ed m e, a n d I knew t h ere w ere p le n ty o f p la ces I w an te d t o b e, b ut n one w here I w as s u ppose d t o b e.

“I g ot in a fig ht w ith m y g ir lf rie n d,” I sa id . “I w as ju st "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" driv in g a ro und, b lo w in g o ff s te am , y ou k now ?” “W ell, y ou sh ould b e m ore c are fu l w here y ou d riv e,” th e off ic er s a id . “ Y ou’re m ak in g p eo ple n erv ous. Y ou d on’t fit th e pro file o f t h e n eig hborh ood.” I w an te d t o t e ll h im t h at I d id n’t r e ally f it t h e p ro file o f t h e co untr y b ut I k new i t w ould j u st g et m e i n to t r o uble .

“C an I h elp y ou?” th e 7 -1 1 c le rk a sk ed m e lo udly , s e arc h in g f o r so m e re sp onse th at w ould re assu re h im th at I w asn ’t a n a rm ed ro bber. H e k new th is d ark s k in a n d lo ng, b la ck h air o f m in e w as dan gero us. I h ad p ote n tia l.

“Ju st g ettin g a C re am sic le ,” I s a id a fte r a lo ng in te rv al. It was a sic k tw is t to p ull o n th e g uy, b ut it w as la te a n d I w as bore d . I g ra b bed m y C re am sic le a n d w alk ed b ack to th e c o unte r slo w ly , s c an ned t h e a is le s f o r e ff e ct. I w an te d t o w his tle l o w a n d men acin gly b ut I n ev er l e arn ed t o w his tle .

“P re tty hot out to nig ht? ” he ask ed , th at old rh eto ric al weath er b ulls h it q uestio n d esig ned t o p ut u s b oth a t e ase .

“H ot e n ough to m ak e y ou g o c ra zy,” I s a id a n d s m ile d . H e sw allo w ed hard lik e a w hite m an does in th ose situ atio ns. I lo oked h im o ver. S am e o ld g re en , r e d , a n d w hite 7 -1 1 j a ck et a n d th ic k g la sse s. B ut h e w asn ’t u gly , ju st m is p la ced a n d m ark ed b y lo nelin ess. I f h e w asn ’t w ork in g t h ere t h at n ig ht, h e’d b e a t h om e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" alo ne, flip pin g th ro ugh ch an nels an d w is h in g h e co uld aff o rd HBO o r S how tim e.

“W ill th is b e a ll? ” h e a sk ed m e, in th at c o m pan y e ff o rt to mak e m e d o s o m e i m puls e s h oppin g. L ik e a d din g a c la u se o nto a tr e aty . We’ll ta ke W ash in gto n a nd O re g on a nd y o u g et s ix p in e tr e es a nd a b ra nd-n ew C hry sle r C ord oba . I k new h ow to m ak e an d b re ak p ro m is e s.

“N o,” I s a id a n d p au se d . “ G iv e m e a C herry S lu sh ie , t o o.” “W hat s iz e?” h e a sk ed , r e lie v ed .

“L arg e,” I s a id , a n d h e tu rn ed h is b ack to m e to m ak e th e drin k. H e re aliz ed h is m is ta k e b ut it w as to o la te . H e s tiff e n ed , re ad y f o r th e g unsh ot o r th e b lo w b eh in d th e e ar. W hen it d id n’t co m e, h e t u rn ed b ack t o m e.

“I’m s o rry ,” h e s a id . “ W hat s iz e d id y ou s a y ?” “S m all,” I s a id a n d c h an ged t h e s to ry .

“B ut I t h ought y ou s a id l a rg e.” “If y ou k new I w an te d a la rg e, th en w hy d id y ou a sk m e ag ain ?” I ask ed h im an d la u ghed . H e lo oked at m e, co uld n’t decid e i f I w as g iv in g h im s e rio us s h it o r j u st g oofin g. T here w as so m eth in g a b out h im I lik ed , e v en if it w as th re e in th e m orn in g an d h e w as w hite .

“H ey,” I s a id . “ F org et t h e S lu sh ie . W hat I w an t t o k now i s i f you k now a ll t h e w ord s t o t h e t h em e f ro m ‘ T he B ra d y B unch ’? ” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" He l o oked a t m e, c o nfu se d a t f ir s t, t h en l a u ghed .

“S hit,” h e s a id . “ I w as h opin g y ou w ere n ’t c ra zy. Y ou w ere sc arin g m e.” “W ell, I ’m g oin g t o g et c ra zy i f y ou d on’t k now t h e w ord s.” He la u ghed lo udly th en , to ld m e to ta k e th e C re am sic le f o r fre e. H e w as th e gra v ey ard -s h if t m an ag er an d th ose little dem onstr a tio ns o f p ow er tic k le d h im . A ll s e v en ty -fiv e c en ts o f it. I k new h ow m uch e v ery th in g c o st.

“T han ks,” I s a id to h im a n d w alk ed o ut th e d oor. I to ok m y tim e w alk in g h om e, l e t t h e h eat o f t h e n ig ht m elt t h e C re am sic le all o ver m y h an d. A t th re e in th e m orn in g I c o uld a ct ju st a s young a s I w an te d to a ct. T here w as n o o ne a ro und to a sk m e to gro w u p.

In S eattle , I b ro ke la m ps. S he a n d I w ould a rg ue a n d I ’d b re ak a la m p, ju st pic k it up an d th ro w it dow n. A t fir s t sh e’d buy re p la cem en t la m ps, e x pen siv e a n d b eau tif u l. B ut a fte r a w hile sh e’d b uy la m ps fro m G oodw ill o r g ara g e s a le s. T hen s h e ju st gav e u p t h e i d ea e n tir e ly a n d w e’d a rg ue i n t h e d ark .

“Y ou’re ju st lik e y our b ro th er,” s h e’d y ell. “ D ru nk a ll th e tim e a n d s tu pid .” “M y b ro th er d on’t d rin k t h at m uch .” She a n d I n ev er tr ie d to h urt e ach o th er p hysic ally . I d id "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" lo ve h er, a fte r a ll, a n d s h e lo ved m e. B ut th ose a rg um en ts w ere ju st a s d am ag in g a s a fis t. W ord s c an b e lik e th at, y ou k now ?

When ev er I g et in to a rg um en ts n ow , I r e m em ber h er a n d I a ls o re m em ber M uham mad A li. H e k new th e p ow er o f h is fis ts b ut, more im porta n tly , h e k new th e p ow er o f h is w ord s, to o. E ven th ough h e o nly h ad a n I Q o f 8 0 o r s o , A li w as a g en iu s. A nd s h e was a g en iu s, to o. S he k new e x actly w hat to s a y to c au se m e th e most p ain .

But d on’t g et m e w ro ng. I w alk ed th ro ugh th at r e la tio nsh ip with an ex ecu tio ner’s h ood. O r m ore ap pro pria te ly , w ith w ar pain t an d sh arp arro w s. S he w as a k in derg arte n te ach er an d I co ntin ually i n su lte d h er f o r t h at.

“H ey, sc h oolm arm ,” I ask ed . “D id your kid s te ach you an yth in g n ew t o day ?” And I a lw ay s h ad c ra zy d re am s. I a lw ay s h av e h ad t h em , b ut it s e em ed t h ey b ecam e n ig htm are s m ore o fte n i n S eattle .

In o ne d re am , sh e w as a m is sio nary ’s w if e an d I w as a min or w ar c h ie f. W e f e ll in lo ve a n d tr ie d to k eep it s e cre t. B ut th e m is sio nary c au ght u s fu ck in g in th e b arn a n d s h ot m e. A s I la y d yin g, m y tr ib e le arn ed o f th e sh ootin g an d atta ck ed th e white s all acro ss th e re se rv atio n. I die d an d m y so ul drif te d ab ove t h e r e se rv atio n.

Dis e m bodie d , I co uld se e ev ery th in g th at w as h ap pen in g.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" White s k illin g I n dia n s a n d I n dia n s k illin g w hite s. A t f ir s t it w as sm all, ju st m y tr ib e a n d th e f e w w hite s w ho liv ed th ere . B ut m y dre am g re w , in te n sif ie d . O th er tr ib es arriv ed o n h ors e b ack to co ntin ue th e s la u ghte r o f w hite s, a n d th e U nite d S ta te s C av alr y ro de i n to b attle .

The m ost v iv id im ag e o f th at d re am s ta y s w ith m e. T hre e mounte d s o ld ie rs p la y ed p olo w ith a d ead I n dia n w om an ’s h ead .

When I fir s t d re am ed it, I th ought it w as ju st a p ro duct o f m y an ger a n d i m ag in atio n. B ut s in ce t h en , I ’v e r e ad s im ila r a cco unts of th at kin d of ev il in th e old W est. E ven m ore te rrif y in g, th ough, i s t h e f a ct t h at t h ose k in ds o f b ru ta l t h in gs a re h ap pen in g to day i n p la ces l ik e E l S alv ad or.

All I k now f o r s u re , th ough, is th at I w oke f ro m th at d re am in te rro r, p ack ed u p a ll m y p osse ssio ns, a n d le ft S eattle in th e mid dle o f t h e n ig ht.

“I lo ve y ou,” s h e s a id a s I le ft h er. “ A nd d on’t e v er c o m e back .” I d ro ve th ro ugh th e n ig ht, o ver th e C asc ad es, d ow n in to th e pla in s o f cen tr a l W ash in gto n, an d b ack h om e to th e S pokan e In dia n R ese rv atio n.

When I fin is h ed th e C re am sic le th at th e 7 -1 1 c le rk g av e m e, I held t h e w ooden s tic k u p i n to t h e a ir a n d s h oute d o ut v ery l o udly .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" A c o uple lig hts fla sh ed o n in w in dow s a n d a p olic e c ar c ru is e d by m e a f e w m in ute s la te r. I w av ed to th e m en in b lu e a n d th ey wav ed b ack a ccid en ta lly . W hen I g ot h om e i t w as s till t o o h ot t o sle ep s o I p ic k ed u p a w eek -o ld n ew sp ap er fro m th e flo or a n d re ad .

There was an oth er civ il war, an oth er te rro ris t bom b ex plo ded , an d one m ore pla n e cra sh ed an d all ab oard w ere pre su m ed d ead . T he crim e ra te w as ris in g in ev ery city w ith popula tio ns la rg er th an 1 00,0 00, a n d a fa rm er in Io w a s h ot h is ban ker a fte r f o re clo su re o n h is 1 ,0 00 a cre s.

A k id f ro m S pokan e w on th e lo cal s p ellin g b ee b y s p ellin g th e w ord rh in ocero s .

When I g ot b ack to th e r e se rv atio n, m y f a m ily w asn ’t s u rp ris e d to s e e m e. T hey ’d b een e x pectin g m e b ack s in ce t h e d ay I l e ft f o r Seattle . T here ’s an o ld In dia n p oet w ho sa id th at In dia n s can re sid e i n t h e c ity , b ut t h ey c an n ev er l iv e t h ere . T hat’s a s c lo se t o tr u th a s a n y o f u s c an g et.

Mostly I w atc h ed te le v is io n. F or w eek s I flip ped th ro ugh ch an nels , se arc h ed fo r an sw ers in th e gam e sh ow s an d so ap opera s. M y m oth er w ould c ir c le t h e w an t a d s i n r e d a n d h an d t h e pap er t o m e.

“W hat a re y ou g oin g to d o w ith th e re st o f y our lif e ?” s h e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" ask ed .

“D on’t k now ,” I sa id , a n d n orm ally , fo r a lm ost a n y o th er In dia n in th e co untr y , th at w ould hav e been a perfe ctly fin e an sw er. B ut I w as s p ecia l, a f o rm er c o lle g e s tu den t, a s m art k id . I was o ne o f th ose In dia n s w ho w as s u ppose d to m ak e it, to ris e ab ove th e re st of th e re se rv atio n lik e a fu ck in g eag le or so m eth in g. I w as t h e n ew k in d o f w arrio r.

For a fe w m onth s I d id n’t e v en lo ok a t th e w an t a d s m y moth er c ir c le d , j u st l e ft t h e n ew sp ap er w here s h e h ad s e t i t d ow n.

Afte r a w hile , t h ough, I g ot t ir e d o f t e le v is io n a n d s ta rte d t o p la y bask etb all a g ain . I’d b een a g ood p la y er in h ig h s c h ool, n early gre at, a n d a lm ost p la y ed a t th e c o lle g e I a tte n ded fo r a c o uple years . B ut I ’d b een t o o o ut o f s h ap e f ro m d rin kin g a n d s a d ness t o ev er b e g ood a g ain . S till, I l ik ed t h e w ay t h e b all f e lt i n m y h an ds an d t h e w ay m y f e et f e lt i n sid e m y s h oes.

At fir s t I ju st s h ot b ask ets b y m yse lf . It w as s e lf is h , a n d I als o w an te d to le arn th e gam e ag ain befo re I pla y ed ag ain st an ybody els e . S in ce I h ad b een g ood b efo re an d em barra sse d fe llo w tr ib al m em bers , I k new th ey w ould w an t to ta k e r e v en ge on m e. F org et a b out th e c o w boys v ers u s In dia n s b usin ess. T he most in te n se c o m petitio n o n a n y re se rv atio n is In dia n s v ers u s In dia n s.

But o n th e n ig ht I w as r e ad y to p la y f o r r e al, th ere w as th is "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" white g uy a t t h e g ym , p la y in g w ith a ll t h e I n dia n s.

“W ho i s t h at? ” I a sk ed J im my S ey le r.

“H e’s t h e n ew B IA c h ie f’s k id .” “C an h e p la y ?” “O h, y eah .” And h e c o uld p la y. H e p la y ed In dia n b all, fa st a n d lo ose , bette r t h an a ll t h e I n dia n s t h ere .

“H ow l o ng’s h e b een p la y in g h ere ?” I a sk ed .

“L ong e n ough.” I str e tc h ed m y m usc le s, an d ev ery body w atc h ed m e. A ll th ese In dia n s w atc h ed o ne o f th eir o ld a n d d usty h ero es. E ven th ough I h ad p la y ed m ost o f m y b all a t th e w hite h ig h s c h ool I wen t to , I w as s till a ll In dia n , y ou k now ? I w as In dia n w hen it co unte d , a n d th is B IA k id n eed ed to b e b eate n b y a n I n dia n , a n y In dia n .

I j u m ped i n to t h e g am e a n d p la y ed w ell f o r a l ittle w hile . I t fe lt g ood. I h it a fe w sh ots , g ra b bed a re b ound o r tw o, p la y ed en ough d efe n se to k eep th e o th er te am h onest. T hen th at w hite kid to ok over th e gam e. H e w as to o good. L ate r, he’d pla y co lle g e b all b ack E ast a n d w ould n early m ak e t h e K nic k s t e am a co uple y ears o n. B ut w e d id n’t k now a n y o f th at w ould h ap pen .

We j u st k new h e w as b ette r t h at d ay a n d e v ery o th er d ay .

The n ex t m orn in g I w oke u p tir e d a n d h ungry , s o I g ra b bed "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" th e w an t a d s, f o und a jo b I w an te d , a n d d ro ve to S pokan e to g et it. I ’v e b een w ork in g a t th e h ig h s c h ool e x ch an ge p ro gra m e v er sin ce, ty pin g a n d a n sw erin g p hones. S om etim es I w onder if th e peo ple o n th e o th er e n d o f th e lin e k now th at I ’m I n dia n a n d if th eir v oic es w ould c h an ge i f t h ey d id k now .

One d ay I p ic k ed u p th e p hone a n d it w as h er, c allin g f ro m Seattle .

“I g ot y our n um ber fro m y our m om ,” s h e s a id . “ I’m g la d you’re w ork in g.” “Y eah , n oth in g l ik e a r e g ula r p ay ch eck .” “A re y ou d rin kin g?” “N o, I ’v e b een o n t h e w ag on f o r a lm ost a y ear.” “G ood.” The c o nnectio n w as g ood. I c o uld h ear h er b re ath in g in th e sp aces b etw een o ur w ord s. H ow d o y ou ta lk to th e re al p ers o n whose g host h as h au nte d y ou? H ow d o y ou te ll th e d iff e re n ce betw een t h e t w o?

“L is te n ,” I s a id . “ I’m s o rry f o r e v ery th in g.” “M e, t o o.” “W hat’s g oin g to h ap pen to u s? ” I a sk ed h er a n d w is h ed I had t h e a n sw er f o r m yse lf .

“I d on’t k now ,” s h e s a id . “ I w an t t o c h an ge t h e w orld .” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" These d ay s, liv in g a lo ne in S pokan e, I w is h I liv ed c lo se r to th e riv er, to th e fa lls w here g hosts o f s a lm on ju m p. I w is h I c o uld sle ep . I p ut d ow n m y p ap er o r b ook a n d t u rn o ff a ll t h e l ig hts , l ie quie tly i n t h e d ark . I t m ay t a k e h ours , e v en y ears , f o r m e t o s le ep ag ain . T here ’s n oth in g s u rp ris in g o r d is a p poin tin g i n t h at.

I k now h ow a ll m y d re am s e n d a n yw ay .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" FA M IL Y P O RTR AIT T HE TELEV IS IO N WAS ALW AY S lo ud, to o lo ud, until ev ery c o nvers a tio n w as d is to rte d , f ra g m en te d .

“D in ner” s o unded l ik e “ L eav e m e a lo ne.” “I l o ve y ou” s o unded l ik e “ In ertia .” “P le ase ” s o unded l ik e “ S acrif ic e.” Belie v e m e, th e te le v is io n w as a lw ay s to o lo ud. A t th re e in t h e m orn in g I w oke fro m ord in ary nig htm are s to hear th e t e le v is io n p oundin g t h e c eilin g a b ove m y b ed . S om etim es i t w as j u st w hite nois e , th e en d of an oth er bro ad castin g day. O th er t im es it w as a bad m ovie m ad e w ors e by th e la te hour an d i n te rru pte d s le ep .

“D ro p y our w eap ons a n d c o m e o ut w ith y our h an ds a b ove y our head ” so unded to o m uch lik e “T ru st m e, th e w orld is y ours .” “T he a lie n s a re c o m in g! T he a lie n s a re c o m in g!” s o unded t o o m uch l ik e “ Ju st o ne m ore b eer, s w eeth eart, a n d t h en w e’ll g o h om e.” “Ju nio r, I lo st th e m oney ” s o unded to o m uch lik e “ Y ou’ll n ev er h av e a d re am c o m e t r u e.” I d on’t k now w here a ll t h e y ears w en t. I r e m em ber o nly t h e " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" te le v is io n in d eta il. A ll th e o th er m om en ts w orth re m em berin g becam e s to rie s th at c h an ged w ith e ach te llin g, u ntil n oth in g w as ab orig in al o r r e co gniz ab le .

For in sta n ce, in th e s u m mer o f 1 972 o r 1 973 o r o nly in o ur min ds, th e r e se rv atio n d is a p peare d . I r e m em ber s ta n din g o n th e fro nt porc h of our HUD house , pra ctic in g on m y pla stic sa x ophone, w hen t h e r e se rv atio n d is a p peare d .

Fin ally , I re m em ber th in kin g, b ut I w as six y ears o ld , o r se v en . I d on’t k now f o r s u re h ow o ld ; I w as I n dia n .

Ju st lik e th at, th ere w as n oth in g th ere b ey ond th e b otto m ste p . M y old er bro th er to ld m e he’d giv e m e a quarte r if I ju m ped i n to t h e u nknow n. M y t w in s is te rs c rie d e q ual t e ars ; t h eir bic y cle s h ad b een p ark ed o ut b y t h e p in e t r e es, a ll o f i t v an is h ed .

My m oth er c am e o ut t o i n vestig ate t h e n ois e . S he s ta re d o ut past t h e b otto m s te p f o r a l o ng t im e, b ut t h ere w as n o e x pre ssio n on h er f a ce w hen s h e w en t b ack t o w ash t h e p ota to es.

My fa th er w as hap pily dru nk an d he stu m ble d off th e botto m s te p b efo re a n y o f u s c o uld s to p h im . H e c am e b ack y ears la te r w ith d ia b ete s a n d a p ock etf u l o f q uarte rs . T he s e ed s in th e cu ff s o f h is p an ts d ro pped t o t h e f lo or o f o ur h ouse a n d g re w i n to ora n ge t r e es.

“N oth in g is p ossib le w ith out V ita m in C ,” m y m oth er to ld us, b ut I k new sh e m ean t to sa y, “D on’t w an t ev ery th in g so "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" much .” Ofte n th e sto rie s c o nta in p eo ple w ho n ev er e x is te d b efo re o ur co lle ctiv e i m ag in atio ns c re ate d t h em .

My b ro th er a n d I r e m em ber o ur s is te rs s c ra p ed a ll th e f o od th at d ro pped o ff o ur p la te s d urin g d in ner i n to a p ile i n t h e c en te r of th e ta b le . T hen th ey p la ced th eir te eth a g ain st th e e d ge o f th e ta b le a n d s c ra p ed a ll t h e f o od i n to t h eir o pen m outh s.

Our p are n ts d on’t r e m em ber th at h ap pen in g, a n d o ur s is te rs cry o ut, “ N o, n o, w e w ere n ev er t h at h ungry !” Still, m y b ro th er a n d I c an not d en y th e tr u th o f o ur s to ry .

We w ere t h ere . M ay be h unger i n fo rm s o ur l iv es.

My fa m ily te lls m e sto rie s of m yse lf , sm all ev en ts an d cata str o phic dis e ase s I don’t re m em ber but accep t as th e beg in nin g o f m y s to ry .

Afte r s u rg ery t o r e lie v e f lu id p re ssu re o n m y b ra in , I s ta rte d to d an ce.

“N o,” m y m oth er t e lls m e. “ Y ou h ad e p ile p tic s e iz u re s.” “N o,” m y f a th er t e lls h er. “ H e w as d an cin g.” Durin g “ T he T onig ht S how ” I p re te n ded s le ep o n th e c o uch while m y f a th er s a t i n h is c h air a n d w atc h ed t h e t e le v is io n.

“It w as D oc’s t r u m pet t h at m ad e y ou d an ce,” m y f a th er t o ld me.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “N o, it w as g ra n d m al s e iz u re s p unctu ate d b y m om en ts o f ex tr e m e p erc ep tio n,” m y m oth er t o ld h im .

She w an te d to b elie v e I c o uld s e e th e fu tu re . S he s e cre tly knew th e docto rs had in se rte d an oth er org an in to m y sk ull, tr a n sp la n te d a t w en tie th -c en tu ry v is io n.

One w in te r sh e th re w m e outs id e in m y underw ear an d re fu se d to le t m e back in to th e house until I an sw ere d her questio ns.

“W ill m y c h ild re n l o ve m e w hen I ’m o ld ?” s h e a sk ed , b ut I knew s h e w an te d t o a sk m e, “ W ill I r e g re t m y l if e ?” Then th ere w as m usic , s c ra tc h ed 4 5’s a n d e ig ht- tr a ck ta p es.

We tu rn ed th e v olu m e to o h ig h f o r th e s p eak ers , u ntil th e m usic was tin ny a n d d is to rte d . B ut w e d an ced , u ntil m y o ld est sis te r to re h er o nly p air o f n ylo ns a n d w ep t v io le n tly . B ut w e d an ced , until w e s h ook d ust d ow n f ro m t h e c eilin g a n d c h ase d b ats o ut o f th e a ttic in to th e d ay lig ht. B ut w e d an ced , in o ur m is m atc h ed clo th es a n d b ro ken s h oes. I w ro te m y n am e in M ag ic M ark er o n my s h oes, m y f ir s t n am e o n t h e l e ft t o e a n d m y l a st n am e o n t h e rig ht to e, w ith m y tr u e n am e so m ew here in b etw een . B ut w e dan ced , w ith em pty sto m ach s an d noth in g fo r din ner ex cep t sle ep . A ll nig ht w e la y aw ak e w ith sw eat on our back s an d blis te rs o n o ur so le s. A ll n ig ht w e fo ught w ak in g n ig htm are s until sle ep cam e w ith n ig htm are s o f its o w n. I re m em ber th e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" nig htm are a b out th e th in m an in a b ig h at w ho to ok th e In dia n ch ild re n a w ay fro m th eir p are n ts . H e c am e w ith s c is so rs to c u t hair a n d a lo ck ed b ox to h id e a ll th e a m puta te d b ra id s. B ut w e dan ced , under w ig s an d betw een unfin is h ed w alls , th ro ugh bro ken p ro m is e s a n d a ro und e m pty c u pboard s.

It w as a d an ce.

Still, w e c an b e s u rp ris e d .

My s is te r to ld m e s h e c o uld re co gniz e m e b y th e s m ell o f my c lo th es. S he s a id s h e c o uld c lo se h er e y es a n d p ic k m e o ut o f a c ro w d b y j u st t h e s m ell o f m y s h ir t.

I k new s h e m ean t t o s a y I l o ve y o u .

With all th e sy ste m s of m easu re m en ts w e had av aila b le , I re m em ber t h e d eg re e o f s u nlig ht m ost. I t w as t h ere c o ntin uously , win te r o r s u m mer. T he c o ld c am e b y a ccid en t, t h e s u n b y d esig n.

Then th ere w as th e s u m mer o f s n iff in g g as. M y s is te rs b en t th eir h ead s a t im possib le a n gle s to re ach th e g as ta n ks o f B IA veh ic le s. E very th in g so brig ht an d pre cis e , it hurt th e bra in .

Eard ru m s p ounded b y th e slig hte st n ois e ; a d og b ark in g c o uld ch an ge t h e s h ap e o f t h e e arth .

I re m em ber m y b ro th er s tr e tc h ed o ut o ver th e la w nm ow er, his m outh p re sse d tig htly to th e m outh o f th e g as ta n k. I t w as a str a n ge k is s, h is f ir s t k is s, h is lip s b urn t a n d c lo th es f la m mab le .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" He tr ie d to dan ce aw ay, he nam ed ev ery bla d e of gra ss he cru sh ed w hen h e fe ll o n h is a ss. E very th in g u nder w ate r, lik e walk in g a cro ss th e b otto m o f B en ja m in L ak e, p ast d ead h ors e s an d ab an doned tir e s. L eg s ta n gle d in se aw eed , dan ce, dan ce ag ain , k ic k th e f e et u ntil y ou b re ak f re e. S ta re u p a t th e s u rfa ce, su nlig ht filte re d th ro ugh w ate r lik e fin gers , lik e a h an d fille d with th e pro m is e of lo ve an d oxygen . WARN IN G : In te n tio nal mis u se b y d elib era te ly c o ncen tr a tin g a nd in halin g th e c o nte n ts ca n b e h arm fu l o r f a ta l .

How m uch d o w e re m em ber o f w hat h urts u s m ost? I’v e been th in kin g a b out p ain , h ow e ach o f u s c o nstr u cts o ur p ast to ju stif y w hat w e f e el n ow . H ow e ach s u ccessiv e p ain d is to rts th e pre ced in g. L et’s s a y I re m em ber s u nlig ht a s a m easu re m en t o f th is s to ry , h ow it c h an ged th e s h ap e o f th e fa m ily p ortr a it. M y fa th er s h ie ld s h is e y es a n d m ak es h is f a ce a s h ad ow . H e c o uld b e an yone th en , but m y ey es are clo se d in th e photo . I can not re m em ber w hat I w as t h in kin g. M ay be I w an te d t o s ta n d, s tr e tc h my le g s, ra is e m y a rm s a b ove m y h ead , o pen m y m outh w id e, an d f ill m y l u ngs. Bre a th e, b re a th e . M ay be m y h air i s s o b la ck i t co lle cts a ll t h e a v aila b le l ig ht.

Sudden ly i t i s w in te r a n d I ’m t r y in g t o s ta rt t h e c ar.

“G iv e i t m ore g as,” m y f a th er s h outs f ro m t h e h ouse .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" I p ut m y fo ot to th e fir e w all, fe el th e e n gin e sh udder in re sp onse . M y h an ds g rip t h e s te erin g w heel t ig htly . T hey a re n ot min e t h is m orn in g. T hese h an ds a re t o o s tr o ng, t o o n ecessa ry f o r ev en th e s m alle st g estu re s. I c an m ak e f is ts a n d th ro w m y a n ger in to w alls an d pla ste rb oard . I can pic k up a to oth bru sh or a pis to l, to uch th e f a ce o f a w om an I lo ve. Y ears a g o, th ese h an ds mig ht h av e h eld th e sp ear th at h eld th e sa lm on th at h eld th e dre am o f th e tr ib e. Y ears a g o, th ese h an ds m ig ht h av e to uch ed th e h an ds o f t h e d ark -s k in ned m en w ho t o uch ed m ed ic in e a n d t h e mag ic o f o rd in ary g ods. N ow , I p ut m y h an d to g ears h if t, m y heart t o t h e c o ld w in d.

“G iv e i t m ore g as,” m y f a th er y ells .

I p ut th e c ar in to D riv e a n d th en I a m g one, d ow n th e r o ad , care fu lly , to uch in g th e b ra k e lik e I to uch m y d re am s. O nce, m y fa th er a n d I d ro ve t h is s a m e r o ad a n d h e t o ld t h e s to ry o f t h e f ir s t te le v is io n h e e v er s a w .

“T he te le v is io n w as in th e w in dow of a sto re in C oeu r d’A le n e. M e a n d a ll th e g uys w ould w alk d ow n th ere a n d w atc h it. J u st o ne c h an nel a n d a ll i t s h ow ed w as a w om an s ittin g o n t o p of a t e le v is io n t h at s h ow ed t h e s a m e w om an s ittin g o n t o p o f t h e sa m e te le v is io n. O ver a n d o ver u ntil it h urt y our e y es a n d h ead .

That’s t h e w ay I r e m em ber i t. A nd s h e w as a lw ay s s in gin g s o m e so ng. I t h in k i t w as ‘ A G ir l o n T op o f t h e W orld .’ ” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" This is how w e fin d our his to ry , how w e sk etc h our fa m ily portr a it, how w e sn ap th e photo gra p h at th e pre cis e m om en t when so m eo ne’s m outh is o pen an d re ad y to ask a q uestio n.

How ?

There is a g ir l o n to p o f th e w orld . S he is o w ld an cin g w ith my f a th er. T hat i s t h e s to ry b y w hic h w e m easu re a ll o ur s to rie s, until w e u nders ta n d t h at o ne s to ry c an n ev er b e a ll.

There i s a g ir l o n t o p o f t h e w orld . S he i s s in gin g t h e b lu es.

That is th e s to ry b y w hic h w e m easu re h eartb re ak . M ay be s h e is my s is te r o r m y o th er s is te r o r m y o ld est s is te r d ead i n t h e h ouse fir e . M ay be s h e is m y m oth er w ith h er h an ds in th e fry b re ad .

May be s h e i s m y b ro th er.

There is a g ir l o n to p o f th e w orld . S he is te llin g u s h er sto ry . T hat i s t h e s to ry b y w hic h w e m easu re t h e b eg in nin g o f a ll of o ur liv es. Lis te n , lis te n , w hat c a n b e c a llin g?

S he is w hy w e hold e ach o th er t ig ht; s h e i s w hy o ur f e ar r e fu se s n am in g. S he i s th e f a n cy dan cer; s h e i s f o rg iv en ess.

The te le v is io n w as a lw ay s lo ud, to o lo ud, u ntil e v ery e m otio n was m easu re d b y th e h alf h our. W e h id o ur f a ces b eh in d m ask s th at s u ggeste d o th er h is to rie s; w e t o uch ed h an ds a ccid en ta lly a n d our s k in s p ark ed l ik e a p ers o nal r e v olu tio n. W e s ta re d a cro ss t h e ro om at each oth er, waite d fo r th e co nvers a tio n an d th e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" co nvers io n, watc h ed wasp s an d flie s batte rin g ag ain st th e win dow s. W e w ere ch ild re n ; w e w ere open m outh s. O pen in hunger, i n a n ger, i n l a u ghte r, i n p ra y er.

Je su s, w e a ll w an t t o s u rv iv e.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" S O M EBO DY K EPT S A YIN G PO W WOW I KNEW N ORM A B EFO RE sh e ev er m et h er h usb an d-to -b e, Ja m es M an y H ors e s. I k new h er b ack w hen t h ere w as g ood f ry b re ad t o b e e ate n a t th e p ow wow , b efo re th e o ld w om en d ie d a n d to ok t h eir re cip es w ith th em . T hat’s h ow it’s g oin g. S om etim es it f e els lik e o ur tr ib e is d yin g a p ie ce o f b re ad at a tim e. B ut N orm a, sh e w as alw ay s tr y in g to sa v e it, sh e w as a cu ltu ra l l if e g uard , w atc h in g o ut fo r th ose o f u s th at w ere so clo se to d ro w nin g.

She w as r e ally y oung, to o, n ot a ll th at m uch o ld er th an m e, b ut ev ery body calle d her gra n dm oth er an yw ay, as a sig n of r e sp ect.

“H ey, g ra n dm oth er,” I s a id w hen s h e w alk ed b y m e a s I s a t a t a n oth er t e rrib le f ry b re ad s ta n d.

“H i, J u nio r,” s h e s a id a n d w alk ed o ver t o m e. S he s h ook m y h an d, lo ose ly , lik e In dia n s d o, u sin g o nly h er fin gers . N ot lik e t h ose tig ht g rip s th at w hite p eo ple u se to p ro ve s o m eth in g. S he t o uch ed m y h an d l ik e s h e w as g la d t o s e e m e, n ot l ik e s h e w an te d t o b re ak b ones.

“A re y ou d an cin g t h is y ear? ” I a sk ed .

" * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" “O f c o urs e . H av en ’t y ou b een d ow n t o t h e d an ce h all? ” “N ot y et.” “W ell, y ou s h ould g o w atc h t h e d an cin g. I t’ s i m porta n t.” We ta lk ed fo r a w hile lo nger, to ld so m e sto rie s, a n d th en sh e w en t o n a b out h er p ow wow a g en da. E very body w an te d to ta lk to N orm a, to sh are so m e tim e w ith h er. I ju st lik ed to sit with her, put m y re se rv atio n an te n nas up an d ad ju st m y re cep tio n. D id n’t you know th at In dia n s are born w ith tw o an te n nas t h at r is e u p a n d f ie ld e m otio nal s ig nals ? N orm a a lw ay s sa id t h at I n dia n s a re t h e m ost s e n sitiv e p eo ple o n t h e p la n et. F or th at m atte r, In dia n s are m ore se n sitiv e th an an im als , to o. W e don’t ju st w atc h th in gs h ap pen . W atc h in g a u to m atic ally m ak es th e w atc h er p art o f t h e h ap pen in g. T hat’ s w hat N orm a t a u ght m e.

“E very th in g m atte rs ,” s h e s a id . “ E ven t h e l ittle t h in gs.” But it w as m ore th an ju st so m e b ulls h it N ativ e re lig io n, so m e f o dder f o r th e c ry sta l- h ap py. N orm a liv ed h er lif e lik e w e sh ould a ll d o. S he d id n’t d rin k o r s m oke. B ut s h e c o uld s p en d a nig ht in th e P ow wow T av ern a n d d an ce h ard . S he c o uld d an ce In dia n a n d w hite . A nd th at’s a m ean f e at, s in ce th e tw o m eth ods of d an cin g are m utu ally ex clu siv e. I’v e se en In dia n s w ho are ch am pio n fa n cy dan cers tr ip all over th em se lv es w hen Pau la Abdul is o n th e ju keb ox in th e b ar. A nd I’v e s e en In dia n s w ho co uld d o a ll th is M TV C lu b d an cin g, e le ctr ic s lid es a n d s h it, a ll "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" over th e pla ce an d th en lo ok lik e a w hite pers o n stu m blin g th ro ugh t h e s a w dust o f a p ow wow .

One n ig ht I w as in th e P ow wow T av ern a n d N orm a a sk ed me to d an ce. I’d n ev er d an ced w ith h er b efo re , h ad n’t re ally dan ced m uch a t a ll, I n dia n o r w hite .

“M ove y our a ss,” s h e s a id . “ T his a in ’t B ro w nin g, M onta n a.

It’ s L as V eg as.” So I m oved m y a ss, s h ook m y s k in ny b ro w n b utt u ntil th e whole b ar w as la u ghin g, w hic h w as g ood. E ven if I w as th e o ne bein g la u ghed a t. A nd N orm a a n d I la u ghed a ll n ig ht lo ng a n d dan ced to geth er a ll n ig ht lo ng. M ost n ig hts , b efo re J a m es M an y Hors e s sh ow ed up, N orm a w ould dan ce w ith ev ery body, not ch oosin g a n y f a v orite s. S he w as a d ip lo m at. B ut s h e o nly d an ced with m e th at n ig ht. B elie v e m e, it w as a n h onor. A fte r th e b ar clo se d , sh e ev en dro ve m e hom e sin ce ev ery body els e w as head ed t o p artie s a n d I w an te d t o g o t o s le ep .

“H ey,” sh e sa id o n th e w ay h om e. “ Y ou c an ’t d an ce v ery good b ut y ou g ot t h e h eart o f a d an cer.” “H eart o f t h e d an cer,” I s a id . “ A nd f e et l ik e t h e b uffa lo .” And w e l a u ghed .

She d ro pped m e a t h om e, g av e m e a g ood n ig ht h ug, a n d th en d ro ve o n to h er o w n H UD h ouse . I w en t in to m y h ouse a n d dre am ed a b out h er. N ot lik e y ou th in k. I d re am ed h er a h undre d "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" years a g o, rid in g b are b ack d ow n o n L ittle F alls F la ts . H er h air was u nbra id ed a n d s h e w as y ellin g s o m eth in g to m e a s s h e r o de clo se r to w here I sto od. I co uld n’t unders ta n d w hat sh e w as sa y in g, t h ough. B ut i t w as a d re am a n d I l is te n t o m y d re am s.

“I d re am ed a b out y ou th e o th er n ig ht,” I s a id to N orm a th e nex t t im e I s a w h er. I t o ld h er a b out t h e d re am .

“I don’t know w hat th at m ean s,” sh e sa id . “I hope it’s noth in g b ad .” “M ay be i t j u st m ean s I h av e a c ru sh o n y ou.” “N o w ay,” sh e sa id an d la u ghed . “I’v e se en y ou h an gin g aro und w ith th at N ad in e M ose s w om an . Y ou m ust h av e b een dre am in g a b out h er.” “N ad in e d on’t k now h ow t o r id e a h ors e ,” I s a id .

“W ho sa id an yth in g ab out h ors e s? ” N orm a sa id , an d w e both l a u ghed f o r a g ood l o ng t im e.

Norm a c o uld r id e h ors e s l ik e s h e d id l iv e o ne h undre d y ears ag o. S he w as a ro deo q ueen , b ut n ot o ne o f th ose rh in esto ne wom en . S he w as a r o per, a b re ak er o f w ild p onie s. S he w re stle d ste ers d ow n to th e g ro und a n d d id th at g oofy o ld th re e-le g ged knot d an ce. N orm a ju st w asn ’t q uite a s f a st a s s o m e o f th e o th er In dia n c o w boys, t h ough. I t h in k, i n t h e e n d, s h e w as j u st h av in g a good tim e. S he’d h an g w ith th e c o w boys a n d th ey ’d s in g s o ngs fo r her, 49er so ngs th at ech oed bey ond th e ev en in g’s la st "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" cam pfir e .

Norm a, I w ant t o m arry y o u Norm a, I w ant t o m ake y o u m in e And w e’ll g o d ancin g, d ancin g, d ancin g until t h e s u n s ta rts t o s h in e.

Way y a h h i y o , W ay y a h h i y o !

Som e n ig hts N orm a to ok a n I n dia n c o w boy o r a c o w boy I n dia n back t o h er t ip i. A nd t h at w as g ood. S om e p eo ple w ould h av e y ou belie v e it’s w ro ng, b ut it w as tw o p eo ple sh arin g so m e b ody med ic in e. I t w asn ’t l ik e N orm a w as o ut s n ag gin g f o r m en a ll t h e tim e. M ost n ig hts s h e ju st w en t h om e a lo ne a n d s a n g h ers e lf to sle ep .

Som e p eo ple s a id th at N orm a to ok a w om an h om e w ith h er once in a w hile , to o. Y ears a g o, h om ose x uals w ere g iv en s p ecia l sta tu s w ith in th e tr ib e. T hey h ad p ow erfu l m ed ic in e. I th in k it’s ev en m ore t r u e t o day, e v en t h ough o ur t r ib e h as a ssim ila te d i n to hom ophobia . I m ean , a p ers o n h as to h av e m ag ic to a sse rt th eir id en tity w ith out r e g ard t o a ll t h e b ulls h it, r ig ht?

Anyhow , o r a s w e s a y a ro und h ere , a n yhoo, N orm a h eld o n to h er s ta tu s w ith in th e tr ib e d esp ite a ll th e ru m ors , th e s to rie s, th e lie s a n d je alo us g ossip . E ven a fte r sh e m arrie d th at Ja m es Man y H ors e s, w ho to ld s o m an y jo kes th at h e e v en m ad e o th er "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" In dia n s g et t ir e d o f h is j o kin g.

The f u nny th in g is th at I a lw ay s th ought N orm a w ould e n d up m arry in g V ic to r s in ce s h e w as s o g ood a t s a v in g p eo ple a n d Vic to r n eed ed m ore sa v in g th an m ost an ybody b esid es L este r Falls A part. B ut s h e a n d V ic to r n ev er g ot a lo ng, m uch . V ic to r w as kin d o f a b ully i n h is y ounger d ay s, a n d I d on’t t h in k N orm a e v er fo rg av e h im . I d oubt V ic to r e v er f o rg av e h im se lf f o r i t. I t h in k h e sa id I’m s o rry m ore t h an a n y o th er h um an b ein g a liv e.

I re m em ber o nce w hen N orm a an d I w ere sittin g in th e Pow wow T av ern a n d V ic to r w alk ed i n , d ru nker t h an d ru nk.

“W here ’s t h e p ow wow ?” V ic to r y elle d .

“Y ou’re i n t h e P ow wow ,” s o m eb ody y elle d b ack .

“N o, I d on’t m ean th is g oddam n b ar. I m ean , w here ’s th e pow wow ?” “In y our p an ts ,” s o m eb ody e ls e y elle d a n d w e a ll l a u ghed .

Vic to r s ta g gere d u p t o o ur t a b le .

“Ju nio r,” h e a sk ed . “ W here ’s t h e p ow wow ?” “T here a in ’t n o p ow wow g oin g o n,” I s a id .

“W ell,” V ic to r s a id . “ S om eb ody o ut in th e p ark in g lo t k ep t sa y in g pow wow . A nd you know I lo ve a good goddam n pow wow .” “W e a ll l o ve a g ood p ow wow ,” N orm a s a id .

Vic to r s m ile d a d ru nk s m ile a t h er, o ne o f t h ose s m ile s o nly "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" possib le t h ro ugh i n to xic atio n. T he l ip s f a ll a t o dd a n gle s, t h e l e ft sid e of th e fa ce is slig htly para ly zed , an d sk in sh in es w ith alc o hol s w eat. N oth in g r e m ote ly a p pro ach in g b eau ty .

“I’m g oin g to g o fin d th e g oddam n p ow wow ,” V ic to r s a id th en a n d s ta g gere d o ut th e d oor. H e’s o n th e w ag on n ow b ut h e use d t o g et s o d ru nk.

“G ood l u ck ,” N orm a s a id . T hat’s o ne o f t h e s tr a n gest t h in gs ab out th e tr ib al tie s th at s till e x is ts . A s o ber In dia n h as in fin ite patie n ce w ith a d ru nk I n dia n , e v en m ost o f t h e I n dia n s w ho h av e co m ple te ly q uit d rin kin g. T here a in ’t m an y w ho d o s ta y s o ber.

Most sp en d tim e in A lc o holic s A nonym ous m eetin gs, an d ev ery body gets to know th e ro utin es an d use th em on all occasio ns, n ot j u st a t A .A . m eetin gs.

“H i, m y n am e is J u nio r,” I u su ally s a y w hen I w alk in to a bar o r p arty w here I n dia n s h av e c o ngre g ate d .

“H i, J u nio r,” a ll t h e o th ers s h out i n a n i r o nic u nis o n.

A f e w o f th e r e ally s m art- a sse s a b out th e w hole A .A . th in g carry aro und little m ed als in dic atin g how lo ng th ey ’v e been co ntin uously d ru nk.

“H i, m y n am e is L este r F alls A part, a n d I ’v e b een d ru nk f o r tw en ty -s e v en s tr a ig ht y ears .” Norm a d id n’t m uch g o f o r th at k in d o f h um or, th ough. S he la u ghed w hen it w as fu nny but sh e did n’t sta rt an yth in g up.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Norm a, sh e k new all ab out In dia n b elly la u ghte r, th e k in d o f la u ghte r th at m ad e In dia n s sq ueeze th eir e y es u p so tig ht th ey lo oked C hin ese . M ay be t h at’s w here t h ose r u m ors a b out c ro ssin g th e B erin g B rid ge sta rte d . M ay be so m e of us In dia n s ju st la u ghed o ur w ay o ver t o C hin a 2 5,0 00 y ears a g o a n d j u m psta rte d th at c iv iliz atio n. B ut w hen ev er I s ta rte d i n o n m y c ra zy t h eo rie s, Norm a w ould p ut h er f in ger t o m y l ip s r e ally g en tly .

“Ju nio r,” s h e w ould s a y w ith g en tle n ess a n d p atie n ce. “ S hut th e f u ck u p.” Norm a a lw ay s w as a g en iu s w ith w ord s. S he u se d to w rite sto rie s fo r th e tr ib al new sp ap er. She w as ev en th eir sp orts re p orte r fo r a w hile . I s till g ot th e n ew s c lip pin g o f a s to ry s h e wro te a b out th e b ask etb all g am e I w on b ack in h ig h s c h ool. In fa ct, I k eep i t t u ck ed i n m y w alle t a n d i f I g et d ru nk e n ough, I ’ll pull i t o ut a n d r e ad f ro m i t a lo ud, l ik e i t w as a g oddam n p oem o r so m eth in g. B ut th e w ay N orm a w ro te , I g uess it w as s o m eth in g clo se t o a p oem :

Ju nio r’s J u m psh ot J u st E nou gh f o r R ed sk in W in With t h re e s e co nds l e ft o n t h e c lo ck l a st S atu rd ay n ig ht an d th e S prin gdale C harg ers in p osse ssio n o f th e b all, it lo oked lik e e v en th e W ellp in it R ed sk in s m ig ht h av e to c all in t h e U nite d S ta te s C av alr y t o h elp t h em w in t h e f ir s t g am e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" of t h is j u st- a -b ab y b ask etb all s e aso n.

But Ju nio r Pola tk in tip i- c re ep ed th e Charg ers by ste alin g th e in bounds p ass a n d th en s te alin g th e g am e a w ay when h e h it a t h re e-th ousa n d-fo ot j u m per a t t h e b uzzer.

“I d oubt w e’ll b e f ilin g a n y c h arg es a g ain st J u nio r f o r th eft,” T rib al C hie f o f P olic e D av id W alk sA lo ng s a id . “ T his was c erta in ly a c ase o f s e lf -d efe n se .” Peo ple w ere g ossip in g a ll a ro und t h e r e z a b out J u nio r’s tr u e i d en tity .

“I t h in k h e w as C ra zy H ors e f o r j u st a s e co nd,” s a id a n an onym ous an d may be-ju st- a -little -c ra zy -th em se lv es so urc e.

This r e p orte r t h in ks J u nio r h ap pen ed t o b e a l ittle l u ck y so h is n ew In dia n n am e w ill b e L uck y S hot. S till, lu ck o r not, J u nio r h as e arn ed a c o uple p oin ts m ore o n th e W arrio r Scale .

When ev er I p ull t h at c lip pin g o ut w ith N orm a a ro und, s h e a lw ay s th re ate n s t o t e ar i t u p. B ut s h e n ev er d oes. S he’s p ro ud o f i t, I c an te ll. I ’d b e p ro ud, t o o. I m ean , I ’m p ro ud I w on t h at g am e. I t w as th e o nly g am e w e w on t h at y ear. I n f a ct, i t w as t h e o nly g am e t h e Wellp in it R ed sk in s w on i n t h re e y ears . I t w asn ’t l ik e w e h ad b ad te am s. W e a lw ay s h ad tw o o r th re e o f th e b est p la y ers in th e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" le ag ue, b ut w in nin g w asn ’t a lw ay s a s im porta n t a s g ettin g d ru nk afte r t h e g am e f o r s o m e a n d f o r g oin g t o t h e w in te r p ow wow s f o r oth ers . S om e g am es, w e’d o nly h av e f iv e p la y ers .

I a lw ay s w is h ed w e c o uld h av e s u ite d N orm a u p. S he w as ta lle r th an a ll o f u s a n d a b ette r p la y er th an m ost o f u s. I d on’t re ally re m em ber h er p la y in g in h ig h s c h ool, b ut p eo ple s a y s h e co uld h av e p la y ed c o lle g e b all if s h e w ould ’v e g one to c o lle g e.

Sam e o ld s to ry . B ut th e re se rv atio n p eo ple w ho s a y th in gs lik e th at h av e n ev er b een o ff t h e r e se rv atio n.

“W hat’s it lik e o ut th ere ?” N orm a a sk ed m e w hen I c am e back fro m co lle g e, fro m th e city , fro m cab le te le v is io n an d deliv ere d p iz za.

“It’s l ik e a b ad d re am y ou n ev er w ak e u p f ro m ,” I s a id , a n d it’s t r u e. S om etim es I s till f e el l ik e h alf o f m e i s l o st i n t h e c ity , with its fo ot w ed ged in to a s te am g ra te o r s o m eth in g. S tu ck in one o f t h ose r e v olv in g d oors , g oin g r o und a n d r o und w hile a ll t h e white peo ple are la u ghin g. Sta n din g co m ple te ly still on an esc ala to r th at w ill n ot m ove, b ut I d id n’t h av e th e c o ura g e to clim b th e s ta ir s b y m yse lf . S tu ck in a n e le v ato r b etw een flo ors with a w hite w om an w ho k eep s w an tin g t o t o uch m y h air .

There a re s o m e t h in gs t h at I n dia n s w ould ’v e n ev er i n ven te d if g iv en t h e c h an ce.

“B ut t h e c ity g av e y ou a s o n,” N orm a s a id , a n d t h at w as t r u e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" en ough. S om etim es, th ough, it fe lt lik e h alf a so n b ecau se th e city h ad h im d urin g th e w eek an d ev ery o th er w eek en d. T he re se rv atio n o nly g ot h im f o r s ix d ay s a m onth . V is ita tio n r ig hts .

That’ s h ow t h e c o urt d efin ed t h em . V is ita tio n r ig hts .

“D o y ou e v er w an t k id s? ” I a sk ed N orm a.

“Y eah , o f c o urs e ,” s h e s a id . “ I w an t a d ozen . I w an t m y o w n tr ib e.” “Y ou’re k id din g.” “K in d o f. D on’t k now if I w an t to ra is e k id s in th is w orld .

It’s gettin g uglie r by th e se co nd. And not ju st on th e re se rv atio n.” “I k now w hat y ou m ean ,” I s a id . “ Y ou s e e w here t w o p eo ple got s h ot i n t h e b us s ta tio n i n S pokan e l a st w eek ? I n S pokan e! I t’s gettin g t o b e l ik e N ew Y ork C ity .” “N ew Y ork C ity e n ough.” Norm a w as th e k in d o f p ers o n w ho m ad e y ou h onest. S he was s o c o m ple te ly h onest h ers e lf t h at y ou c o uld n’t h elp i t. P re tty so on I ’d b e t e llin g h er a ll m y s e cre ts , t h e b ad a n d g ood.

“W hat’ s t h e w ors t t h in g y ou e v er d id ?” s h e a sk ed m e.

“P ro bab ly th at tim e I w atc h ed V ic to r b eat th e sh it o ut o f Thom as B uild s-th e-F ir e .” “I re m em ber th at. I’m th e o ne w ho b ro ke it u p. B ut y ou were j u st a k id . M ust b e s o m eth in g w ors e t h an t h at.” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" I t h ought a b out i t a w hile , b ut i t d id n’t t a k e m e l o ng t o f ig ure out w hat t h e w ors t t h in g I e v er d id w as.

It w as a t a b ask etb all g am e w hen I w as in c o lle g e. I w as with a b unch o f g uys f ro m m y d orm ito ry , a ll w hite g uys, a n d w e were d ru nk, r e ally d ru nk. T he o th er t e am h ad t h is p la y er w ho j u st got o ut o f p ris o n. I m ean , th is g uy w as a b out tw en ty -e ig ht a n d had a to ugh lif e . G re w u p in in ner- c ity L os A ngele s a n d f in ally mad e it o ut, m ad e it to c o lle g e a n d w as p la y in g a n d stu dyin g hard . I f y ou th in k a b out it, h e a n d I h ad a w hole lo t in c o m mon.

Much m ore in c o m mon th an I h ad w ith th ose w hite b oys I w as dru nk w ith .

Anyw ay, when th at pla y er co m es out, I don’t ev en re m em ber h is n am e o r m ay be I d on’t w an t t o r e m em ber i t, w e a ll sta rt ch an tin g at h im . R eally aw fu l sh it. H ate fu l. W e all h ad th ese b ig c ard s w e m ad e to lo ok lik e th ose GET O UT O F J A IL F R EE card s i n M onopoly . O ne g uy w as r u nnin g a ro und i n a b la ck -a n d- white c o nvic t s h ir t w ith a f a k e b all- a n d-c h ain . I t w as a r e ally b ad sc en e. T he l o cal n ew sp ap er h ad a b ig w rite -u p. W e e v en m ad e i t in to a Peo ple M ag azin e a rtic le . I t w as a b out t h at p la y er a n d h ow much h e’d g one th ro ugh a n d h ow h e s till h ad to fig ht s o m uch ig nora n ce a n d h ate . W hen t h ey a sk ed h im h ow i t f e lt d urin g t h at gam e w here w e a ll w en t c ra zy , h e s a id , It h urt .

Afte r I t o ld N orm a t h at s to ry , s h e w as q uie t f o r a l o ng t im e.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" A l o ng t im e.

“If I d ra n k,” s h e s a id , “ I w ould b e g ettin g d ru nk r ig ht a b out now b ecau se o f t h at o ne.” “I’v e g otte n d ru nk o n i t a f e w t im es.” “A nd if it still b oth ers y ou th is m uch n ow ,” N orm a sa id , “th en t h in k h ow b ad t h at g uy f e els a b out i t.” “I t h in k a b out h im a ll t h e t im e.” Afte r I t o ld N orm a t h at s to ry , s h e t r e ate d m e d iff e re n tly f o r ab out a y ear. S he w asn ’t m ean o r d is ta n t. Ju st d iff e re n t. B ut I unders to od. P eo ple c an d o t h in gs c o m ple te ly a g ain st t h eir n atu re , co m ple te ly . It’s lik e so m e tin y earth quak e co m es ro arin g th ro ugh y our b ody a n d s o ul, a n d it’s th e o nly e arth quak e y ou’ll ev er fe el. B ut it d am ag es so m uch , cra ck s th e fo undatio ns o f your l if e f o re v er.

So I ju st f ig ure d N orm a w ould n’t e v er f o rg iv e m e. S he w as lik e th at. S he w as p ro bab ly th e m ost c o m passio nate p ers o n o n th e re se rv atio n b ut s h e w as a ls o th e m ost p assio nate . T hen o ne day i n t h e T ra d in g P ost s h e w alk ed u p t o m e a n d s m ile d .

“P ete R ose ,” s h e s a id .

“W hat? ” I a sk ed , c o m ple te ly c o nfu se d .

“P ete R ose ,” s h e r e p eate d .

“W hat? ” I a sk ed a g ain , e v en m ore c o nfu se d .

“T hat’ s y our n ew I n dia n n am e,” s h e s a id . “ P ete R ose .” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “W hy?” “B ecau se y ou t w o g ot a w hole l o t i n c o m mon.” “H ow ?” “L is te n ,” N orm a sa id . “P ete R ose pla y ed m ajo r le ag ue base b all i n f o ur d iff e re n t d ecad es, h as m ore h its t h an a n ybody i n his to ry . H ell, th in k a b out it. G oin g b ack to L ittle L eag ue a n d hig h s c h ool a n d a ll th at, h e’s p ro bab ly b een s m ack in g th e b all aro und f o re v er. N oah p ro bab ly p itc h ed h im a f e w o n t h e A rk . B ut afte r a ll th at, a ll th at g re atn ess, h e’s o nly re m em bere d fo r th e bad s tu ff.” “G am blin g,” I s a id .

“T hat a in ’t r ig ht,” s h e s a id .

“N ot a t a ll.” Afte r t h at, N orm a t r e ate d m e t h e s a m e a s s h e d id b efo re s h e fo und o ut w hat I d id in c o lle g e. S he m ad e m e tr y to fin d th at bask etb all p la y er, b ut I d id n’t h av e a n y l u ck . W hat w ould I h av e to ld h im if I d id f in d h im ? W ould I ju st te ll h im th at I w as P ete Rose ? W ould h e h av e u nders to od t h at?

Then , on one str a n ge, str a n ge day w hen a pla n e had to em erg en cy l a n d o n t h e r e se rv atio n h ig hw ay, a n d t h e c o ole r i n t h e Tra d in g P ost b ro ke d ow n a n d th ey w ere g iv in g a w ay ic e c re am becau se it w ould ’v e b een w aste d , a n d a b ear fe ll a sle ep o n th e ro of of th e C ath olic ch urc h , N orm a ra n up to m e, nearly "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" bre ath le ss.

“P ete R ose ,” s h e s a id . “ T hey ju st v ote d to k eep y ou o ut o f th e H all o f F am e. I ’m s o rry . B ut I s till l o ve y ou.” “Y eah , I k now , N orm a. I l o ve y ou, t o o.” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" W IT N ESSE S, S E C RET A ND NO T I N 1 979 I W AS ju st le arn in g h ow to b e th ir te en . I d id n’t k now th at I ’d h av e to k eep th in kin g ab out it u ntil I w as tw en ty -fiv e. I t h ought t h at o nce I f ig ure d o ut t h ir te en , t h en i t w as h is to ry , j u nk f o r t h e a rc h aeo lo gis ts t o f in d y ears l a te r. I t h ought i t w ould k eep w ork in g th at w ay, fig urin g out each year as it cam e, th en d is c ard in g it w hen th e n ew o ne c am e a lo ng. B ut th ere ’s m uch m ore to th e w hole th in g. I m ean , I h ad to fig ure o ut w hat it m ean t t o b e a b oy, a m an , t o o. M ost o f a ll, I h ad t o f in d o ut w hat i t m ean t to b e In dia n , a n d th ere a in ’t n o s e lf -h elp m an uals fo r t h at l a st o ne.

And o f c o urs e , I h ad to u nders ta n d w hat it m ean t w hen m y f a th er g ot a p hone c all o ne n ig ht o ut o n t h e r e se rv atio n.

“W ho’s th is ? ” m y fa th er a sk ed w hen h e p ic k ed th e p hone u p. A nd it w as th e S ecre t W itn ess P ro gra m callin g h im fro m S pokan e. G uess so m eb ody tu rn ed m y fa th er’s n am e in to th e p olic e. S aid m y fa th er m ig ht k now s o m eth in g a b out h ow J e rry V in cen t d is a p peare d a b out t e n y ears e arlie r.

So w e h ad to d riv e in to S pokan e th e n ex t d ay, a n d a ll th e w ay I w as a sk in g h im q uestio ns l ik e I w as t h e f a m ily p olic e.

" * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" “W hat h ap pen ed t o J e rry V in cen t? ” I a sk ed h im .

“H e j u st d is a p peare d . N obody k now s f o r s u re .” “If n obody k now s w hat h ap pen ed , th en w hy d o th e p olic e wan t t o t a lk t o y ou?” “I w as i n t h e b ar t h e n ig ht J e rry d is a p peare d . W as p arty in g a little b it w ith h im . G uess t h at’ s w hy.” “W ere y ou f rie n ds? ” “I g uess. Y eah , w e w ere f rie n ds. M ostly .” We d ro ve th at w ay, w ith m e a sk in g th ose q uestio ns, lik e how Je rry lo oked , how he ta lk ed , th e w ay his clo th es w ere wrin kle d a ll t h e t im e. M y f a th er t o ld m e a ll t h ose k in d o f t h in gs.

About J e rry ’s w if e , h is k id s. A bout b ein g d is a p peare d .

“H e w asn ’t t h e f ir s t o ne t o d is a p pear l ik e t h at. N o w ay,” m y fa th er s a id .

“W ho e ls e ?” I a sk ed .

“Ju st ab out ev ery body at o ne tim e o r an oth er. A ll th ose re lo catio n p ro gra m s se n t re se rv atio n In dia n s to th e c itie s, a n d so m etim es t h ey j u st g ot s w allo w ed u p. H ap pen ed t o m e. I d id n’t se e o r t a lk t o a n ybody f ro m h om e f o r a c o uple y ears .” “N ot e v en M om ?” “I d id n’t k now h er b ack th en . A nyw ay, o ne d ay I co m e hitc h hik in g b ack to th e r e se rv atio n a n d e v ery body te lls m e th ey heard I w as d ead , h eard I ’d d is a p peare d . J u st l ik e t h at.” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “Is t h at w hat h ap pen ed t o J e rry ?” “N o, n o. B ut I th in k e v ery body w an te d it to b e th at w ay.

Every body w an te d it th at w ay becau se of th e w ay it re ally hap pen ed .” “W hat d o y ou m ean ?” My fa th er p ut b oth h an ds o n th e ste erin g w heel. A g ood th in g, t o o. J u st t h en w e w en t i n to a s lid e o n t h e i c y r o ad . A m ean slid e, a 3 60-d eg re e s lid e a ro und th e w ors t c o rn er in th e R eard an Can yon. W hy i s i t t h at c ar a ccid en ts t a k e s o l o ng t o h ap pen ? A nd th ey se em to g et slo w er as y ou g ro w o ld er? I’d b een in o ne accid en t o r a n oth er e v ery y ear o f m y lif e . J u st a fte r I w as b orn , my m oth er r a n a r e d l ig ht a n d w as h it b ro ad sid e. I g ot t h ro w n o ut of th e c ar a n d la n ded in a n o pen d um pste r. E ver s in ce th at, m y lif e h as b een p unctu ate d b y m ore a ccid en ts , a ll u gly a n d lu ck y.

And a ll s o s lo w .

Anyw ay, t h ere w e w ere , m y f a th er a n d I , s ile n t a s h ell w hile th e car fa n cy dan ced acro ss th e ic e. A t ag e th ir te en , nobody th in ks th ey ’re g oin g to d ie , so th at w asn ’t m y w orry . B ut m y fa th er w as f o rty -o ne a n d th at’s a b out th e a g e th at I f ig ure a m an sta rts t o t h in k a b out d yin g. O r s ta rts t o a ccep t i t a s i n ev ita b le .

My fa th er’s han ds nev er le ft th e w heel an d he sta re d str a ig ht ah ead , as if th e w orld outs id e th e w in dow w asn ’t co m ple te ly re v olv in g. H e m ig ht as w ell hav e been w atc h in g "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" te le v is io n o r a b ask etb all g am e. I t w as h ap pen in g. T hat’s a ll m y fa th er a llo w ed h im se lf t o t h in k.

But w e d id n’t w re ck . S om eh ow th e c ar tu rn ed c o m ple te ly aro und a n d w e k ep t d riv in g s tr a ig ht d ow n t h e r o ad a s i f t h e s lid e nev er to ok p la ce. W e d id n’t ta lk a b out it r ig ht a fte rw ard a n d w e don’t t a lk a b out i t n ow . D oes i t e x is t? I t’s l ik e t h at i d io t q uestio n ab out t h e t r e e f a llin g i n t h e w oods. I ’m a lw ay s a sk in g m yse lf i f a near- a ccid en t is a n a ccid en t, if s ta n din g rig ht n ex t to a d is a ste r mak es y ou p art o f t h e d is a ste r o r j u st a n eig hbor.

We j u st k ep t d riv in g. A nd t a lk in g.

“W hat h ap pen ed t o J e rry V in cen t? ” I a sk ed .

“H e g ot s h ot i n t h e h ead i n t h e a lle y b eh in d t h e b ar a n d t h ey burie d h is b ody u p i n M an ito P ark .” “R eally ? D o t h e p olic e k now t h at? ” “Y eah . I’v e to ld th em q uite a fe w tim es. I g et calle d in ab out o nce a y ear, y ou k now ? A nd I a lw ay s te ll th em th e s a m e th in g. Y es, I w as w ith J e rry th at n ig ht. Y es, h e w as a liv e w hen I sa w h im la st. Y eah , I k now h e w as s h ot in th e h ead in th e a lle y beh in d th e bar an d th ey burie d his body up in M an ito P ark so m ew here . N o, I d on’t k now w ho s h ot h im , I j u st k now t h e s to ry becau se e v ery In dia n k now s th e s to ry . N o, I d on’t k now w here th e b ody i s b urie d . N o, I d id n’t s h oot h im o r b ury h im . I j u st h ad a f e w b eers w ith h im th at n ig ht. H ad q uite a f e w b eers w ith h im "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" over t h e y ears . T hat’ s a ll.” “Y ou g ot t h e w hole t h in g m em oriz ed , d on’t y ou?” “T hat’ s h ow i t w ork s.” We k ep t d riv in g lik e th at, d riv in g th at w ay, ta lk in g, a sk in g questio ns, g ettin g a n sw ers . I t w as s n ow in g a l ittle . T he r o ad s i c y an d d an gero us.

Fro m th e re se rv atio n to S pokan e is a b out a n h our, th ro ugh fa rm in g c o untr y , p ast F air c h ild A ir F orc e B ase , a n d d ow n in to th e v alle y. B ecau se o f th e g eo gra p hy, S pokan e h as a lo t o f th ose air in vers io ns, w here th is la y er o f f ilth h an gs a b ove th e c ity a n d keep s e v ery th in g t r a p ped b en eath i t. T he s a m e b it o f o xygen g ets bre ath ed o ver a n d o ver, p asse d th ro ugh a h undre d p air o f lu ngs.

It’s p re tty h orrib le , w ors e e v en th an L os A ngele s, I g uess. O n th at d ay w e d ro ve in to S pokan e, th e a ir w as b ro w n a n d I d on’t mean it lo oked b ro w n. It w as ju st b ro w n, lik e b re ath in g d ir t dir e ctly . L ik e w ork in g i n a c o al m in e.

“I’v e g ot m ud i n m y m outh ,” I s a id .

“M e, t o o,” m y f a th er s a id .

“It’ d t a ste l ik e t h is i f I w as b urie d a liv e, r ig ht? ” “I d on’t k now . T hat’ s a p re tty s ic k t h ought, e n it? ” “S ic k e n ough. W hat w ould i t b e l ik e t o d ie ?” “D on’t k now . A in ’t e v er d ie d b efo re .” “M ust b e k in d o f lik e d is a p pearin g,” I s a id . “ A nd y ou d id "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" dis a p pear o nce.” “M ay be,” m y f a th er s a id . “ B ut d is a p pearin g a in ’t a lw ay s s o bad . I k new o ne g uy w ho t r a v ele d t o s o m e i s la n ds w ay o ut i n t h e Pacif ic an d g ot tr a p ped th ere fo r tw o y ears b ecau se o f so m e weir d tid es. T here w ere n o te le p hones, n o ra d io s, n o w ay o f co nta ctin g a n ybody. E very one b ack h om e th ought h e h ad d ie d .

The lo cal n ew sp ap er e v en r a n a n o bitu ary . T hen o ne d ay h e g ets off th e is la n d, f lie s b ack h om e, a n d w alk s in th e f ro nt d oor ju st lik e t h at.” “R eally ?” “R eally . A nd h e sa id it w as lik e sta rtin g o ver. E very body was s o g oddam n h ap py to s e e h im th ey f o rg ot a ll a b out th e b ad th in gs h e d id in th e p ast. H e sa id it w as lik e b ein g a n ew born bab y w ith e v ery body m ak in g f u nny n ois e s i n h is f a ce.” We d ro ve th ro ugh c ity s tr e ets , fa m ilia r w ith th em a ll. W e sa w th ose In dia n s p asse d o ut in d oorw ay s, s ta g gerin g d ow n th e sid ew alk . W e k new m ost o f t h em b y s ig ht, h alf o f t h em b y n am e.

“H ey,” m y fa th er s a id a s w e p asse d b y a n o ld In dia n m an .

“T hat w as J im my S hit P an ts .” “A in ’t se en h im o ut o n th e re se rv atio n in a lo ng tim e,” I sa id .

“H ow l o ng?” “A l o ng t im e.” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" We d ro ve a ro und th e c o rn er a n d c am e b ack to J im my. H e wasn ’t q uite d ru nk, a f e w s ip s f ro m i t a ctu ally . H e h ad o n a l ittle re d co at th at co uld n’t h av e b een w arm en ough fo r a S pokan e win te r. B ut h e h ad so m e g ood b oots . P ro bab ly g ot th em fro m Goodw ill o r S alv atio n A rm y.

“Y a-h ey , J im my,” m y f a th er s a id . “ N ic e b oots .” “N ic e e n ough,” J im my s a id .

“W hat’ s b een g oin g o n?” m y f a th er a sk ed .

“N ot m uch .” “B een d rin kin g t o o h ard ?” “H ard e n ough.” “H ey, J im my,” I a sk ed . “ W hy h av en ’t y ou b een o ut o n th e re se rv atio n?” “D on’t k now . Y ou g ot f iv e b uck s I c an b orro w ?” I r e ach ed i n to m y p ock et a n d p ulle d o ut a d olla r. I t w as a ll I had b ut I g av e i t u p. T hin k a b out i t t h is w ay. I t w as j u st a c o m ic book a n d a D ie t P ep si fo r m e. T hat a in ’t n oth in g c o m pare d to what i t m ean t t o J im my. M y f a th er g av e J im my a f e w b uck s, t o o.

Ju st e n ough f o r a j u g.

We dro ve off th en an d le ft Jim my to m ak e his ow n decis io ns. T hat’s h ow it is . O ne I n dia n d oesn ’t te ll a n oth er w hat to d o. W e ju st w atc h th in gs h ap pen a n d th en m ak e c o m men ts .

It’ s a ll a b out r e actio n a s o ppose d t o a ctio n.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “W hat tim e a re y ou s u ppose d to b e a t th e p olic e s ta tio n?” I ask ed m y f a th er.

“A bout a n h our.” “W an t t o g et s o m eth in g t o e at? ” “Y eah .” “H ow a b out a h am burg er a t D ic k ’s ? ” “S ounds g ood, e n it? ” “G ood e n ough.” So w e d ro ve o n o ver to D ic k ’s , th e g re asy fa st- fo od p la ce with ex tr a -c h eap ham burg ers . W e ord ere d w hat w e alw ay s ord ere d : a W ham my b urg er, la rg e frie s, an d a B ig B uy D ie t Pep si. W e o rd er D ie t sin ce m y fa th er a n d I a re b oth d ia b etic .

Gen etic s, y ou k now ?

Som etim es it d oes fe el lik e w e a re a ll d efin ed b y th e fo od we e at, th ough. M y fa th er a n d I w ould b e p otte d m eat p ro duct, co rn ed b eef h ash , fry b re ad , a n d h ot c h ili. W e w ould b e p ota to ch ip s, h ot d ogs, an d frie d b olo gna. W e w ould b e co ff e e w ith gro unds s tic k in g i n o ur t e eth .

Som etim es th ere w as n o fo od in th e h ouse . I calle d m y fa th er H unger a n d h e c alle d m e P an g. Y ou k now h ow th at is , don’t y ou?

Anyw ay, th ere w e w ere , e atin g b ad fo od a n d ta lk in g m ore sto rie s.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “H ey,” I a sk ed m y fa th er. “ If y ou k new w ho k ille d Je rry Vin cen t, w ould y ou t e ll t h e p olic e?” “D on’t t h in k s o .” “W hy n ot? ” “B ecau se I d on’t th in k th ey c are m uch a n yw ay. J u st m ak e more t r o uble f o r I n dia n s i s a ll.” “H av e y ou e v er k ille d a n yone?” I a sk ed .

My f a th er t o ok a b ig d rin k o f h is D ie t P ep si, a te a f e w f rie s, bit in to h is b urg er. In th at o rd er. T hen h e to ok a n oth er b ig ger drin k o f h is D ie t P ep si.

“W hy d o y ou w an t t o k now ?” h e a sk ed .

“D on’t k now . J u st c u rio us, I g uess.” “W ell, I n ev er k ille d a n ybody o n p urp ose .” “Y ou m ean y ou k ille d s o m eb ody a ccid en ta lly ?” “T hat’ s h ow i t w as.” “H ow d o y ou k ill s o m eb ody a ccid en ta lly ?” “I g ot in a h ead -o n w re ck w ith a n oth er c ar. K ille d th e o th er driv er. H e w as a w hite m an .” “D id y ou g o t o j a il? ” “N o. I g ot l u ck y. H e h ad a lc o hol i n h is b lo od.” “Y ou m ean h e w as d ru nk?” I a sk ed .

“Y eah . A nd e v en t h ough t h e w re ck w as m ostly m y f a u lt, h e got th e b la m e. I w as so ber an d th e co ps co uld n’t b elie v e it.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" They ’d n ev er h eard o f a s o ber I n dia n g ettin g i n a c ar w re ck .” “L ik e R ip le y ’s B elie v e I t o r N ot? ” “S om eth in g l ik e t h at.” We f in is h ed o ur lu nch a n d d ro ve o ver to th e p olic e s ta tio n.

Spokan e is a s m all c ity . T hat’s a ll th ere is to s a y a b out th at. W e mad e it to th e p olic e s ta tio n in a fe w m in ute s, e v en th ough m y fa th er d riv es v ery s lo w ly . H e d riv es th at w ay b ecau se h e’s tir e d of accid en ts . A nyw ay, w e p ull in to th e p ark in g lo t an d p ark .

That’ s w hat y ou’re s u ppose d t o d o.

“A re y ou s c are d ?” I a sk ed m y f a th er.

“A l ittle b it.” “S hould I c o m e w ith y ou?” “N o. W ait o ut h ere i n t h e c ar.” I watc h ed m y fa th er walk to w ard th e polic e sta tio n.

Wearin g o ld j e an s a n d a r e d T -s h ir t, h e l o oked v ery o bvio us n ex t to t h e p olic e u nif o rm s a n d t h re e-p ie ce s u its . H e l o oked a s I n dia n as y ou c an g et. I c o uld s p en d m y w hole lif e o n th e re se rv atio n an d n ev er o nce w ould I se e a frie n d o f m in e an d th in k h ow In dia n h e l o oked . B ut a s s o on a s I g et o ff t h e r e se rv atio n, a m ong all th e w hite p eo ple , e v ery I n dia n g ets e x ag gera te d . M y f a th er’s bra id s lo oked th re e m ile s lo ng a n d b la ck a n d s h in y a s a p olic e- is su e re v olv er. H e tu rn ed b ack a n d w av ed to m e ju st b efo re h e dis a p peare d i n to t h e s ta tio n.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" I im ag in ed th at h e w alk ed u p to th e r e cep tio nis t a n d a sk ed fo r d ir e ctio ns.

“E xcu se m e,” h e m ig ht h av e s a id . “ I h av e a n a p poin tm en t with D ete ctiv e M oore .” “D ete ctiv e M oore i s o ut,” s h e s a id .

“W ell,” m y f a th er s a id . “ H ow a b out D ete ctiv e C la y to n?” “L et m e c h eck .” I im ag in ed th at th e re cep tio nis t le d m y fa th er b ack to th e dete ctiv e’s d esk , s a t h im d ow n, a n d g av e h im th at lo ok r e se rv ed fo r c rim in als a n d p iz za d eliv ery m en . Y ou k now e x actly w hat I mean .

“D ete ctiv e C la y to n w ill b e w ith y ou i n a f e w m in ute s.” I im ag in ed th at m y fa th er w aite d fo r h alf a n h our. I k now th at I s a t in th e c ar f o r h alf a n h our b efo re I f in ally g ot o ut a n d walk ed u p to th e p olic e s ta tio n. I w an dere d a ro und th e b uild in g until I f in ally s tu m ble d u pon m y f a th er, s ittin g a lo ne a n d q uie t.

“I t o ld y ou t o w ait i n t h e c ar,” h e s a id .

“It’ s t o o c o ld .” He n odded h is h ead . H e u nders to od. H e a lm ost a lw ay s d id .

“W hy’s i t t a k in g s o l o ng?” I a sk ed .

“D on’t k now .” Ju st t h en a w hite m an i n a s u it w alk ed u p t o u s.

“H ello ,” h e s a id . “ I’m D ete ctiv e C la y to n.” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" The d ete ctiv e o ff e re d h is h an d to m y fa th er a n d m y fa th er to ok it. T hey sh ook h an ds q uic k ly , fo rm ally . T he d ete ctiv e sa t dow n b eh in d t h e d esk , r u ff le d t h ro ugh a f e w s h eets o f p ap er, a n d lo oked h ard at b oth o f u s. L ooked at m e as if I m ig ht h av e an sw ers . O f c o urs e , I d id n’t. B ut h e g av e m e a l o ok u p a n d d ow n, ju st i n c ase . O r m ay be h e a lw ay s l o oked a t p eo ple t h at w ay, w ith th ose d ete ctiv e e y es. I w ould n’t w an t t o b e h is s o n. J u st a s m uch as I w ould n’t w an t m y fa th er to b e a n u nderta k er o r a str o nau t.

The u nderta k er’s e y es a lw ay s lo ok lik e th ey ’re m easu rin g y ou fo r a c o ff in a n d th e a str o nau t’s e y es a re a lw ay s lo okin g u p in to th e s k y. M y f a th er w as m ostly u nem plo yed . H is e y es h ad s to rie s writte n a cro ss t h em .

Anyw ay, th e dete ctiv e lo oked at his pap ers so m e m ore .

Then h e c le are d h is t h ro at.

“I’m s u re y ou k now w hy y ou’re h ere ,” h e s a id t o m y f a th er.

“It’ s a b out J e rry V in cen t.” “Y es, i t i s . A nd I s e e h ere t h at y ou’v e b een q uestio ned a b out th is b efo re .” “A nnually ,” m y f a th er s a id .

“D o y ou h av e a n yth in g n ew t o a d d?” “I’v e to ld you guys ev ery th in g I know ab out what hap pen ed .” “A nd noth in g has ch an ged ? You hav en ’t re m em bere d "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" so m eth in g d if fe re n t, s o m e d eta il y ou m ay h av e f o rg otte n ?” “N oth in g.” The d ete ctiv e w ro te f o r a w hile , h is t o ngue p okin g o ut o f h is mouth a l ittle . L ik e a l ittle k id . L ik e I d id w hen I w as s ix , s e v en , an d e ig ht y ears o ld . I l a u ghed .

“W hat’s s o fu nny?” th e d ete ctiv e a n d m y fa th er a sk ed m e.

They w ere b oth s m ilin g.

I s h ook m y h ead a n d la u ghed h ard er. S oon a ll th re e o f u s were l a u ghin g, a t m ostly n oth in g. M ay be w e w ere a ll n erv ous o r bore d . O r b oth . T he d ete ctiv e o pen ed h is d esk d ra w er, p ulle d o ut a p ie ce o f h ard c an dy, a n d h an ded i t t o m e.

“T here y ou g o,” h e s a id .

I lo oked a t th e c an dy f o r a w hile a n d g av e it to m y f a th er.

He lo oked at it fo r a w hile , to o, an d han ded it back to th e dete ctiv e.

“I’m s o rry , D ete ctiv e C la y to n,” m y f a th er s a id . “ B ut m y s o n an d I a re d ia b etic s.” “O h, so rry ,” th e d ete ctiv e sa id a n d lo oked a t u s w ith sa d ey es. E sp ecia lly a t m e. J u ven ile d ia b ete s. A to ugh lif e . I le arn ed how t o u se a h ypoderm ic n eed le b efo re I c o uld r id e a b ik e. I l o st more of m y ow n blo od to glu co se te sts th an I ev er did to ch ild hood a ccid en ts .

“N oth in g to be so rry fo r,” m y fa th er sa id . “It’s under "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" co ntr o l.” The d ete ctiv e l o oked a t u s b oth l ik e h e d id n’t b elie v e i t. A ll he k new w as crim in als an d h ow th ey w ork ed . H e m ust h av e fig ure d d ia b ete s w ork ed lik e a c rim in al, b re ak in g a n d e n te rin g.

But h e h ad it w ro ng. D ia b ete s is ju st lik e a lo ver, h urtin g y ou fro m th e in sid e. I w as c lo se r to m y d ia b ete s th an to a n y o f m y fa m ily o r frie n ds. E ven w hen I w as a ll a lo ne, q uie t, th in kin g, wan tin g n o c o m pan y a t a ll, m y d ia b ete s w as th ere . T hat’s th e tr u th .

“W ell,” th e d ete ctiv e sa id . “ I d on’t th in k I h av e a n yth in g els e to a sk y ou. B ut if y ou re m em ber a n yth in g e ls e , m ak e s u re you c o nta ct m e.” “O kay,” m y f a th er s a id a n d w e s to od u p. T he d ete ctiv e a n d my f a th er s h ook h an ds a g ain .

“W as J e rry V in cen t y our f rie n d?” t h e d ete ctiv e a sk ed .

“H e s till i s ,” m y f a th er s a id .

My fa th er a n d I w alk ed o ut o f th e p olic e sta tio n, fe elin g guilty . I k ep t w onderin g i f t h ey k new I s h oplif te d a d eck o f c ard s fro m S ears w hen I w as t e n y ears o ld . O r i f t h ey k new t h at I o nce beat u p a little k id f o r th e f u n o f it. O r if th ey k new I s to le m y co usin ’s b ik e a n d w re ck ed i t o n p urp ose . K ep t w re ck in g i t u ntil i t was u se le ss.

Anyw ay, m y f a th er a n d I w alk ed t o t h e c ar, c lim bed i n , a n d "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" pulle d o ut o f t h e p ark in g l o t.

“R ead y t o h ead h om e?” h e a sk ed .

“B een r e ad y.” There w asn ’t m uch to sa y durin g th e driv e back to th e re se rv atio n. I m ean , J e rry V in cen t w as g one. W hat m ore c o uld I ask m y f a th er a b out h im ? A t w hat p oin t d o w e ju st r e -c re ate th e peo ple w ho hav e dis a p peare d fro m our liv es? Je rry V in cen t mig ht h av e b een a m ean d ru nk. H e m ig ht h av e h ad s tin ky fe et an d a b ad h air c u t. N obody ta lk s a b out th at k in d o f s tu ff . H e w as alm ost a h ero n ow , J e rry V in cen t, w ho p ro bab ly g ot s h ot in th e head a n d m ig ht b e b urie d s o m ew here i n M an ito P ark . S om etim es it s e em s l ik e a ll I n dia n s c an d o i s t a lk a b out t h e d is a p peare d .

My fa th er g ot c o m ple te ly o ut o f c o ntr o l o nce b ecau se h e lo st t h e c ar k ey s. E xpla in t h at t o a s o cio lo gis t.

It w as d ark b y th e tim e w e g ot h om e. M om h ad fry b re ad an d c h ili w aitin g f o r u s. M y s is te rs a n d b ro th ers w ere a ll h om e, watc h in g te le v is io n, p la y in g card s. B elie v e m e. W hen w e g ot hom e e v ery body w as t h ere , e v ery body. M y f a th er s a t a t t h e t a b le an d n early c rie d i n to h is f o od. T hen , o f c o urs e , h e d id c ry i n to h is fo od a n d w e a ll w atc h ed h im . A ll o f u s.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" FL IG HT J O HN-J O HN H AD B EEN SA V IN G dolla r bills to w ard a dre am an d w hen h e h ad a s h oeb ox f u ll o f b ills h e s a t d ow n to c o unt o ut h is f u tu re . “ O ne, tw o, th re e,” h e c o unte d , a ll th e w ay u p to te n to m ak e a n eat s ta ck o n t h e f lo or, a n d s o on h e h ad t w o h undre d n eat s ta ck s i n e x act r o w s a n d c o lu m ns.

How m uch i s e n ough?

Jo hn-J o hn p ack ed a s u itc ase w ith h is d olla r b ills , a c h an ge o f underw ear, a to oth bru sh , an d a photo gra p h of his old er b ro th er, J o se p h. T he p hoto gra p h w as f o ld ed , s p in dle d , m utila te d .

J o se p h, th e je t p ilo t, sa t in fu ll m ilita ry d re ss in fro nt o f an A m eric an f la g .

Dea r M r. a nd M rs._ ______, w e re g re t to in fo rm y o u th at y o ur s o n,_ _______, w as s h ot d ow n a nd ta ken p ris o ner by th e e n em y d urin g a ro utin e m ilita ry o pera tio n. A t th is tim e, w e a re d oin g e very th in g w ith in o ur p ow er to a ssu re th e i m med ia te a nd s a fe r e le a se o f y o ur s o n.

Sin cere ly , t h ey s a id .

J o hn-J o hn re m em bere d th e w orld b efo re , re m em bere d th e fo ur w alls a n d o ne w in dow o f th e H UD h ouse o n th e r e se rv atio n. S o " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" most I n dia n s h ad n o j o b a n d t h ey c o unte d c h an ge t o b uy t h e n ex t bottle o f w in e. M ay be th e w ells w en t d ry ev ery su m mer an d may be a n y w ate r s till l e ft w as t o o r a d io activ e t o d rin k.

“U ra n iu m h as a h alf -lif e o f o ne h undre d th ir ty -fiv e m illio n years ,” s o m eb ody to ld J o se p h, a n d h e s a id , “ S hit, I c an te ll y ou sto rie s t h at w ill l a st l o nger t h an t h at.” Then t h ere w as m usic .

Jo se p h sa n g in a v oic e so p ure e v en th e d ru nkest In dia n s th re w th eir b ottle s d ow n. H e s a n g in a v oic e s o s h arp e v en th e old est I n dia n s c o uld h ear h im c le arly . H e s a n g i n a v oic e s o d eep ev en t h e w hite st I n dia n s r e m em bere d t h e w ord s.

Som etim es, h e d an ced .

Jo se p h h ad b ig f e et a n d h e s tu m ble d , o fte n lo st th e r h yth m of d ru m s. B ut h e s m ile d a n d p ic k ed h im se lf u p f ro m th e g ro und afte r h e f e ll. H e w his tle d . H e s la p ped h is t h ig hs. H e c ro w -h opped an d s p ra in ed h is a n kle . H e d an ced .

Jo se p h p aid t h e r e n t.

Afte r J o se p h w as t a k en a s a p ris o ner o f w ar, J o hn-J o hn w aite d a t th e w in dow f o r y ears . H e a te a n d d ra n k a t th at w in dow ; h e s le p t with h is e y es o pen . Jo hn-J o hn’s frie n ds g re w u p, g ra d uate d o r dro pped out of sc h ool, m arrie d , had ch ild re n , got dru nk to o "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" much , b ut h e s to od t h ere a t t h e w in dow a n d w aite d .

Jo hn-J o hn re m em bere d : th e sk y an d gro und dis a p peare d in to t h e h oriz o n, t h at i m ag in ary l in e f o re v er r o llin g a w ay. S now .

Ic e. C old w in d. J o se p h in b lu e p ark a a n d m ilita ry -s u rp lu s b oots .

Afte r C hris tm as but befo re N ew Y ear’s E ve. E very one w as so ber. S ta n din g in s o m e a n onym ous f ie ld w hile h is C hev y s a t a fe w f e et a w ay o n t h e o th er s id e o f a f e n ce, J o se p h r a is e d h is a rm s an d sa id , Som ed ay, th e w orld w ill b e m in e . M ay be h e ju st s a id , Goddam n, I n eed a d rin k . Jo se p h h ad a lr e ad y d ug th ro ugh th e ash tr a y, in th e g lo ve c o m partm en t, u nder se ats . T here w as n o money le ft in th e w orld . N ot e v en lo ose c o in s. We a in ’t g ot g as and I ’m o ut o f m ir a cle s , J o se p h s a id a n d w alk ed f if te en m ile s f o r help .

Now J o hn-J o hn s to od o n th e f ro nt p orc h w ith h is s u itc ase , a k ey han gin g o n a s tr in g a ro und h is n eck . N o lo ck , n o d oor. T he k ey was j u st a s m all m yste ry . I t d id n’t f it a n y l o ck o n t h e r e se rv atio n.

May be it o pen ed a g ara g e d oor in S eattle ; m ay be it s ta rte d a c ar in S pokan e.

Jo hn-J o hn w atc h ed th e sk y fo r sig ns, re ad th e su n fo r th e co rre ct t im e, a n d c h eck ed h is w atc h t o b e s u re . It’s t im e t o g o , h e th ought j u st a s t h e j e t r ip ped t h ro ugh t h e s o und b arrie r a n d s h ook th e air. Jo hn-J o hn tu m ble d dow n th e sta ir s , la n ded on his "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" ta ilb one. H e s to od u p, ru bbed h is a ss, a n d s e arc h ed th e s k y fo r ev id en ce. H e c o uld s e e v ap or t r a ils s tr e tc h ed a cro ss t h e s k y.

Jo hn-J o hn ra n fo r th e fo otb all fie ld , d ow n th e re se rv atio n hig hw ay, th re e m ile s o f sm ooth , sm ooth p av em en t It h ap pen s th at w ay : th e tr ib e h ad a g overn m en t g ra n t to f ix th e r o ad s, b ut half th e In dia n s o n th e re se rv atio n still liv ed o n c o m moditie s.

Jo hn-J o hn ra n u ntil h is c h est h urt a n d le g s tr e m ble d . H e ra n to th e e n d o f th e h ig hw ay a n d s ta re d b ack to w ard h is h ouse , a t th e je t a p pro ach in g, t h en l a n din g w ith a c o ncu ssio n o f n ois e .

The je t ta x ie d dow n th e hig hw ay, tu rb in es slo w in g, an d cam e t o a s to p a f e w f e et f ro m J o hn-J o hn. P ow er. H eat. N ois e . I t all fe lt a n d so unded lik e p ossib ilitie s; it w as th e m ach in ery o f dre am s. Jo hn-J o hn sta re d at th e je t until it gre w bey ond his vis io n. H is e y es w ate re d , a ch ed . H e ru bbed a t th em w ith fis ts until th ey g re w o ut o f p ro portio n. M in ute s w en t b y u ntil th e je t was s ile n t i n t h e s ile n ce i ts a rriv al c re ate d .

Has C hris to pher C olu m bus c o m e b ack?

Jo hn-J o hn w alk ed to w ard th e je t, slo w ly , care fu lly . H is ste p s w ere m easu re d a n d p re cis e . S te p o n a c ra ck , b re ak y our moth er’s b ack . A b ala n ce b eam is o nly fo ur in ch es w id e; th e re se rv atio n is o nly h alf th at w id th . Jo hn-J o hn re ach ed o ut a n d to uch ed t h e j e t w ith a f in gertip . H ot a n d c o ld . H e j u m ped b ack a s th e c o ck pit o pen ed a n d a v oic e c alle d o ut.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “S ir, ace je t pilo t Jo se p h V ic to r, co de nam e G ero nim o, re p ortin g f o r d uty , s ir !” A ta ll m an clim bed d ow n fro m th e co ck pit an d sto od at atte n tio n. H is unbra id ed hair fe ll out fro m under his flig ht helm et, re ach ed d ow n to th e sm all o f h is b ack . T he ta ll m an sa lu te d J o hn-J o hn, t h en w heele d a n d s a lu te d t h e c ro w d o f I n dia n s quic k ly g ath erin g. H e t u rn ed b ack t o J o hn-J o hn.

“S ir , m ay I h av e p erm is sio n t o r e m ove m y h elm et, s ir ? ” Jo hn-J o hn w as s tu nned . H e ra is e d h is a rm in a h alf -s a lu te , th e h eels o f h is t e n nis s h oes c lic k ed t o geth er.

“Jo se p h, i s t h at y ou?” “S ir , y es, s ir . M ay I p le ase r e m ove m y h elm et, s ir ? ” “Y eah , g o a h ead .” Jo se p h re m oved h is h elm et, le an ed it a g ain st a h ip , s till a t atte n tio n. H is fa ce w as sc arre d , batte re d . The purp le sc ar betw een h is e y es w as s h ap ed lik e a c ig ar b utt; th e s y m metr ic al sc ars u p a n d d ow n h is c h eek s l o oked l ik e g ills .

“Jo se p h, y our f a ce. W hat h ap pen ed ?” Jo hn-J o hn m oved clo se r to his bro th er, re ach ed out an d to uch ed t h e s c ars , t h e s k in . H ot a n d c o ld . B oth c lo se t o t e ars .

“S ir, i t’s b een a l o ng a n d g lo rio us w ar b ut I a m h ap py t o b e hom e, s ir .” “B ut y our f a ce. W hat d id t h ey d o t o y ou?” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “S ir, I am pro ud to sa y I w ith sto od th eir to rtu re s w ith co ura g e a n d s tr e n gth . I o nly g av e t h em m y n am e, r a n k, a n d s e ria l num ber, s ir .” Jo hn-J o hn c rie d th en , to ok h is b ro th er’s h an d. S w olle n a n d sc ra tc h ed , J o se p h’s h an d f e lt l ik e f e ar a n d f a ilu re . H e h ad l o st h is le ft rin g fin ger, h is n ails w ere to rn , so m e m is sin g alto geth er.

Cru de i n itia ls w ere c arv ed i n to h is p alm s.

“Jo se p h, d on’t y ou re co gniz e m e? It’s y our b ro th er Jo hn- Jo hn.” Jo se p h s ta re d a t h is b ro th er in te n tly , s e arc h ed h is m em ory .

He s a w th ose e y es c u rv ed lik e a b ow , c o lo re d lik e th e c en te r o f th e e arth ; t h at h air s h ort a n d s till u nta m ed , b la ck ; t h at m outh , t o o sm all f o r t h e f a ce; t h ose t e eth y ello w ed a n d h ealth y; t h ose h an ds, th at h an d n ow h old in g h is , so lo ng an d fo rg iv in g, sk in lik e a wom an ’s .

Who a re y o u? W ho a re y o u?

“S ir, I d on’t re m em ber. I’m s o rry . I ju st d on’t re m em ber, sir .” Mem ory , lik e a c o in tr ic k , lik e th e F re n ch d ro p w ith o ne han d p assin g o ver th e o th er, q uarte r d ro ppin g o ut o f s ig ht, th en out o f e x is te n ce. It w as t h ere ! I t w as t h ere !

T he l ittle I n dia n b oys sc re am in g at th e su dden re co gnitio n of th eir fir s t m eta p hor.

Mem ory lik e a n a b an doned c ar, ru stin g a n d fo rg otte n th ough it "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" sits in pla in vie w fo r decad es. Dogs hav e litte rs th ere ; gen era tio ns of sp id ers liv e a te rrib le his to ry . A ll of it goes unnotic ed a n d n o o ne b oth ers t o t e ll t h e s to ry .

This is n ot th e s to ry J o hn-J o hn te lls h im se lf ju st b efo re h e f a lls asle ep . In h is sto ry , Jo se p h co m es b ack o n a b us, o n a tr a in , hitc h hik in g. In h is sto ry , Jo se p h’s fe et n ev er le av e th e g ro und ag ain . B ut th at k in d o f v is io n is c o stly ; it r ip s s w eat f ro m J o hn- Jo hn’s s le ep a n d s k in . H e w ak es u p w ith a th ir s t th at is s o la rg e th at n oth in g can b e fo rg iv en . H e w ak es u p w ith th e so und o f Jo se p h’s v oic e i n h is n ose . R ev erb era tio n.

“H ey , J o hn-J o hn, w hy d o y ou g ot t w o f ir s t n am es? ” “’C uz y ou h av e t o s a y a n yth in g t w ic e t o m ak e i t t r u e?” “N o, t h at a in ’t i t.” “’C uz o ur p are n ts r e ally m ean t i t w hen t h ey n am ed m e?” “I d on’t t h in k s o .” “M ay be i t’ s j u st a m em ory d ev ic e?” “W ho k now s? ” Jo se p h sittin g at th e kitc h en ta b le as th ey re p la y th is co nvers a tio n, th is w ay o f g re etin g, e ach d ay. E ver sin ce Jo hn- Jo hn c o uld f o rm a s e n te n ce, J o se p h b eg an th e m orn in g w ith th e sa m e q uestio n.

“H ey , J o hn-J o hn, w hy d o y ou g ot t w o f ir s t n am es? ” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “’C uz I ’m s u ppose d t o b e t w in s? ” “N o, m an , t h at’ s t o o e asy .” “’C uz M oth er a lw ay s h ad a s tu tte r? ” Lau gher. T hen m ore la u ghte r. T hen co ff e e an d butte re d to ast. S om etim es, a d ay -o ld d oughnut. T he s u n c am e in th ro ugh th e w in dow s. I t w as th ere , ju st a s m uch a s th e ta b le clo th o r th e sa lt a n d p ep per s h ak ers .

Hey, J o hn-J o hn, w hy d o y o u g ot t w o f ir st n am es?

Now Jo hn-J o hn w aitin g at th e w in dow . W atc h in g. T ellin g th e gla ss h is s to rie s, w his p erin g to th e p an e, h is b re ath fo ggin g th e world . H is h ouse , h is fa m ily ’s h ouse , c lo se d in a ll a ro und h im .

Too m an y photo gra p hs. Too m an y str a y pap ers an d ta tte re d mag azin es. T he c arp et h as f le as.

There h ave b een s m alle r d is a ste rs .

Moth er a n d fa th er, sis te r a n d sis te r, ru sh , ru sh . F um ig ate , ble ach an d v in eg ar in th e la u ndry , o ld b la n kets d riv en to th e dum p. T he d og, lo nely a n d c o nfu se d , c h ain ed to a s p are tir e in th e y ard .

“Jo hn-J o hn,” h is m oth er s a y s. “ Y ou h av e to le av e. I m ean , we a ll h av e t o l e av e t h e h ouse f o r a f e w h ours . I t’ ll b e t o xic f o r a while , y ou k now ?” He i s d ra g ged f ro m t h e w in dow , s a t d ow n b esid e t h e d og o n "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" th e l a w n. T hey b oth h ow l.

Once, Jo hn-J o hn d re am ed o f flig ht. H e im ag in ed a c ra zed ru n in to th e f o re st, in to th e p in e. M ay be th en th ey w ould s e arc h f o r him , s e arc h f o r J o se p h o ut t h ere i n t h e d ark . J o hn-J o hn w an te d t o build fir e s w ith n o fla m e o r sm oke. H e w an te d to h id e in th e bru sh w hile se arc h ers w alk ed b y, in ch es a w ay, c allin g o ut h is nam e. H e w an te d h elic o pte rs w ith s p otlig hts , a ll- te rra in v eh ic le s, th e l o cal n ew s. T ogeth er, t h ey w ould l if t s to nes a n d f in d J o se p h; th ey w ould s h ak e t r e es a n d J o se p h w ould f a ll t o t h e g ro und; t h ey would drin k Jo se p h fro m th eir can te en s; th ey w ould ta k e photo gra p hs o f J o se p h c ra w lin g l ik e a b ear a cro ss s n ow , s tu nned by w in te r. T he re sc u e te am w ould fin d Jo hn-J o hn an d Jo se p h huddle d to geth er lik e o ld m en , lik e ch ild re n , lik e sm all b ir d s te n sin g t h eir b odie s f o r f lig ht.

Jo hn-J o hn s its a t h is w in dow . W aits . W atc h es. H is f a ce to uch es th e g la ss. H ot an d co ld . H is ey es fo llo w th e v ap or tr a ils th at ap pear i n t h e r e se rv atio n s k y. T hey a re o rd in ary a n d m ag ic al.

Next t im e , J o hn-J o hn t h in ks. Next t im e, i t w ill b e J o se p h .

May be it is win te r ag ain . M ay be it is ju st su m mer dis g uis e d . T here i s n o o ne l e ft t o n otic e. D ust. C old w in d. N ois e .

Jo hn-J o hn h ears i t a ll i n h is h ead . H e c o unts h is d olla r b ills , one , tw o , t h re e , a ll t h e w ay u p t o t e n b efo re h e s ta rts a g ain . H e w aits ; "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" he w atc h es.

He w an ts t o e sc ap e.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" JU NIO R P O LA TK IN ’S WIL D W EST S H OW I N T H E D REA M H E so m etim es h ad , Ju nio r P ola tk in w ould b e a g unfig hte r. A gunfig hte r w ith bra id s an d a rib bon sh ir t. H e w ould n’t sp eak E nglis h , ju st w his p er Spokan e as he gunned d ow n W ild B ill H ic k ok, B at M aste rs o n, ev en B illy th e K id .

J u nio r dre am ed his nam e w ould be Sonny Six -G un an d he d re am ed th at w hite a n d In dia n p eo ple w ould s in g b alla d s a b out h im .

But Ju nio r a lw ay s h ad to w ak e u p, sta g ger fro m b ed , a n d m ak e h is w ay t o h is f ir s t c la ss a t G onzag a U niv ers ity i n S pokan e, W ash in gto n. Ju nio r w as th e o nly In dia n at G onzag a, a sm all J e su it s c h ool o rig in ally f o unded t o e d ucate t h e l o cal t r ib es. N ow , i t c ate re d to u pper- m id dle -c la ss w hite k id s ru nnin g a w ay fro m t h eir pare n ts . Hard ly an ybody was actu ally fro m aro und S pokan e. T he s tu den ts w ere f ro m C alif o rn ia , M onta n a, H aw aii.

“E very w here but here ,” Ju nio r sa id to him se lf ofte n .

“ A nyw here b ut h ere .” As h e s a t in h is h is to ry c la ss o n th e f ir s t d ay o f D ecem ber, J u nio r w atc h ed th e b eau tif u l b lo nd w om an w ho s a t in th e fro nt r o w . N ow , Ju nio r w ould n ev er h av e c alle d h er b eau tif u l. T hat " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" was a w ord h e c o uld n’t re ally re la te to . N o, h e w ould ’v e c alle d her p re tty , n ic e-lo okin g, m ay be e v en a ttr a ctiv e. B ut m ore th an her lo oks, J u nio r lik ed th e w ay s h e ta lk ed , h ow s h e c o ntin ually ch alle n ged th e p ro fe sso r’s le ctu re p oin ts . E very one e ls e in th e cla ss g ru m ble d w hen th e b lo nde ra is e d h er h an d to sp eak , b ut Ju nio r l e an ed f o rw ard t o b e s u re t o h ear e v ery w ord s h e s a id .

“Y es, L ynn.” T he p ro fe sso r r e co gniz ed th e b lo nde a n d to ok a d eep b re ath .

“D on’t y ou th in k w e sp en d to o m uch tim e m yth olo giz in g th e W est? I m ean , lo ok at how it re ally w as. D ir ty , vio le n t, illite ra te . I t w asn ’t a n a g e f o r h ero es, t h at’ s f o r s u re .” The pro fe sso r ig nore d Lynn’s co m men ts an d pro ceed ed with h is le ctu re . Ju nio r n early fe ll in lo ve a t th at m om en t. A t le ast, h e fe ll in lo ve w ith th e id ea o f fa llin g in lo ve w ith L ynn, an d t h at’ s p ow erfu l m ed ic in e i n i ts e lf . J u nio r s p en t t h e r e st o f t h e cla ss w atc h in g L ynn a n d d re am in g.

Afte r c la ss, h e f o llo w ed L ynn to th e c afe te ria , s ta y ed ju st a fe w ste p s b eh in d h er. H e th ought h e w as b ein g a g ood In dia n , sn eak y a n d a ll, b ut s h e s u dden ly tu rn ed a ro und a n d c o nfro nte d him .

“W hat t h e f u ck d o y ou w an t? ” L ynn a sk ed .

Ju nio r c o uld n’t th in k o f a th in g to sa y, h ad n o q uic k a n d cle v er r e sp onse , n o w ord s th at w ould c o nvey w hat h e f e lt. H e’d "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" waite d f o r t h is m om en t f o r m ost o f t h e s e m este r, h ad d re am ed o f it, h ad n early l iv ed i t i n h is i m ag in atio n, a n d n ow h e w as s ile n t.

“W ell,” L ynn a sk ed a g ain . “ W hat t h e f u ck d o y ou w an t? ” Ju nio r se arc h ed h is m in d a n d p ock ets , tr ie d to re m em ber so m e s tu nnin g p ie ce o f p oetr y f ro m h is E nglis h c la ss o r a l in e o f dia lo gue f ro m a r o m an tic m ovie . H e lic k ed h is lip s, c le are d h is th ro at.

“C off e e,” h e sa id an d ex hale d h eav ily , as if h e h ad ju st ch an ged t h e w orld .

“W hat? ” L ynn a sk ed , s u rp ris e d .

“Ju st co ff e e,” Ju nio r sa id , th en am en ded him se lf . “Ju st goin g, c afe te ria , c o ffe e.” Lynn lo oked h ard a t J u nio r, d is m is se d h im a s a th re at, a n d co ntin ued h er w alk t o t h e c afe te ria . J u nio r w aite d u ntil s h e w as a good d is ta n ce a h ead a n d fo llo w ed h er, w ondere d if th ere w as a big ger a ssh ole i n t h e w orld t h an h e w as.

“N ope, I’m th e b ig gest,” h e sa id to h im se lf a s h e w alk ed in to th e c afe te ria a n d to ok a s e at a s fa r a s p ossib le fro m w here Lynn s a t.

“C an I h elp y ou?” th e w aite r a sk ed , s u dden ly a p pearin g, a s good w aite rs w ill d o.

“C offe e,” J u nio r s a id . “ Ju st c o ffe e.” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Over C hris tm as bre ak , Ju nio r liv ed in th e dorm s becau se he did n’t w an t to g o b ack to h is r e se rv atio n a n d e n dure th e in su lts th at w ould b e c o ntin ually h urle d a t h im . I n ste ad , h e s ta y ed i n t h e dorm s by him se lf an d re ad books. N early a book a day. O n Chris tm as, Ju nio r re ad tw o b ooks, sw itc h ed b ack a n d fo rth b y ch ap te rs . O ne b ook w as a ch eap w este rn an d th e o th er w as a ch ild re n ’s b ook. H e p re te n ded it w as o ne b ig b ook, a str a n ge book, a m ultip le -p ers o nality b ook. A fte r a w hile , h e sw itc h ed back a n d f o rth b y p ara g ra p h:

Jo hnny S ta r sta re d o ut o ver th e e d ge o f th e c liff a n d watc h ed B ull S te ed ham r id e h is b eau tif u l h ors e . That m an i s to o u gly to h ave a h orse th at p re tty , J o hnny th ought a s h e bala n ced h is s ix -g un o n h is le ft f o re arm , to ok a im a t B ull’s hat, a n d p ulle d t h e t r ig ger.

It w as a r a in y d ay o n B obby’s s tr e et. I t w as a r a in y d ay.

Bobby p ut o n h is y ello w ra in slic k er a n d h is y ello w ra in boots a n d w en t o ut in to th e ra in to p la y. It ra in ed a ll d ay.

Bobby sp la sh ed th ro ugh puddle s an d pre te n ded to be a sa ilo r. I t w as a r a in y, r a in y d ay a n d B obby p re te n ded t o s a il aw ay .

Ju nio r re ad h is b ooks a n d s ta re d o ut h is w in dow in to th e s n ow .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" He w atc h ed cars p ass b y an d w ondere d if w hite p eo ple w ere hap pie r th an I n dia n s. H e f ig ure d th at e v en w hite p eo ple c an ’t b e hap py a ll t h e t im e b ut t h ey m ust b e h ap pie r m ost o f t h e t im e. A t le ast, t h ey m ust s p en d m ore t im e b ein g h ap py t h an I n dia n s d o.

Ju nio r c h eck ed h is m ail t h re e t im es a d ay a lth ough t h e m ail was o nly d eliv ere d a t te n in th e m orn in g. T here w ould b e le tte rs fro m h is fa m ily o ut o n th e re se rv atio n. M erry C hris tm as a n d a Hap py N ew Y ear. That kin d of th in g. Ju nio r alw ay s half - ex pecte d a little m ir a cle in th e m ail. A fte r a ll, it w as th e s e aso n fo r m ir a cle s. B ut n oth in g e v er h ap pen ed u ntil D ecem ber 2 9, a day t h at i s m ark ed b y n oth in g.

On th at d ay, J u nio r w en t to c h eck h is m ail fo r th e s e co nd tim e an d d is c o vere d L ynn, th e w om an fro m h is h is to ry cla ss, ch eck in g h er m ail.

“H ey ,” s h e a sk ed . “ W ere n ’t y ou i n m y h is to ry c la ss? ” “Y eah ,” J u nio r s a id a n d w ondere d if s h e r e m em bere d th eir brie f c o nvers a tio n o uts id e t h e c afe te ria .

“W hat d id y ou t h in k?” s h e a sk ed .

“It w as a ll r ig ht.” “D id y ou g et a g ood g ra d e?” “It w as a ll r ig ht.” She s m ile d a n d lo oked a t J u nio r, h oped h e w ould c o ntin ue th e c o nvers a tio n, in tr o duce a n ew to pic , te ll a jo ke, s o m eth in g.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" She h ad b een a l ittle l o nely , l iv in g i n t h e d orm o ver t h e h olid ay s.

“In dia n ,” J u nio r s u dden ly s a id w ith g re at p assio n, a s if h e were r u nnin g f o r o ffic e.

“W hat? ” L ynn a sk ed a n d l a u ghed .

“In dia n ,” J u nio r r e p eate d . “ I’m I n dia n .” “Y eah , I k now ,” s h e s a id .

Ju nio r lo oked d ow n a t h is s h oes, tu gged a t h is s h ir t, r a n h is fin gers th ro ugh h is h air. L ynn s ta re d a t h im , s m ile d , b ut J u nio r co uld n’t m ain ta in e y e c o nta ct.

“Y ou’re p re tty q uie t,” s h e s a id .

“Y eah , s o m etim es, b ut n ot a lw ay s.” “W hat’ s y our n am e?” “P ola tk in . J u nio r P ola tk in .” “I’m C ase y . L ynn C ase y . P le ase d t o m eet y ou.” They s h ook h an ds, th en , s ta n din g b y th e m ailb oxes. J u nio r sta rte d to fe el m ore co m fo rta b le an d Lynn did m ost of th e ta lk in g a n yw ay, s o th ey m oved th e c o nvers a tio n fro m th e d orm to th e s tu den t lo unge, a n d th en e n ded u p a t a r e sta u ra n t ju st o ff cam pus.

“S o, w hat’ s i t l ik e b ein g t h e o nly I n dia n h ere ?” L ynn a sk ed .

“It g ets p re tty l o nely , y ou k now ? I ’v e g ot f rie n ds b ut I d on’t ev er f e el l ik e I f it i n .” “D o y ou d rin k m uch ?” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “W hat d o y ou m ean ?” “W ell,” L ynn sa id . “ I’v e se en y ou b efo re . A t p artie s a n d stu ff. Y ou s e em t o d rin k a l o t.” “Y eah , I g uess. M ay be I d rin k a l o t.” Ju nio r c o uld n’t b elie v e s h e w as a sk in g h im th ese p ers o nal questio ns. She hard ly knew him but it did n’t se em w ro ng.

Som eh ow o r o th er, J u nio r t r u ste d L ynn i m med ia te ly .

“W ell, I’m n ot p assin g ju dgm en t o r a n yth in g,” L ynn s a id .

“I’m ju st c u rio us. I re m em ber y ou fro m c la ss, to o. Y ou w ere alw ay s l a te .” “I d on’t l ik e w ak in g u p m uch .” “Y eah , m e n eith er.” Ju nio r a n d L ynn s h are d a n o rd er o f fre n ch frie s a n d ta lk ed fo r h ours . J u nio r h ad p ro bab ly s e en to o m an y m ovie s in h is lif e , so h e i m ag in ed t h eir c o nvers a tio n w as a m ovie . H e i m ag in ed t h at Mel G ib so n w ould p la y h im a n d K im B asin ger w ould p la y L ynn.

But h e c h an ged h is m in d. H e w an te d th is m ovie to b e c la ssic , to be th e b est m ovie p ut to f ilm . I t w ould s ta r R obert D e N ir o a n d Mery l S tr e ep . A nd i n a r e al c h ara cte r s tr e tc h , D e N ir o w ould p la y Lynn an d M ery l w ould pla y him , co m ple te w ith re se rv atio n accen t.

“W hat a re y ou la u ghin g a b out? ” L ynn a sk ed J u nio r a n d h e to ld h er h is p la n s f o r c astin g t h e m ovie .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “D e N ir o ?” L ynn ask ed . “Y ou th in k D e N ir o co uld p la y me?” “D e N ir o c an p la y a n ybody.” J u nio r s a id .

“Y ou k now w hat? I th in k it s h ould b e m ad e in to a w este rn , sta rin g C lin t E astw ood a n d S ig ourn ey W eav er.” “H ey ,” J u nio r s a id . “ I t h ought y ou d id n’t l ik e w este rn s.” Lynn la u ghed a n d lo oked a t J u nio r, s tu die d h is f e atu re s. H e had lo ng h air, n ot a s lo ng a s s o m e I n dia n s, b ut d efin ite ly lo nger th an th e h air o f a ll th e n ic e C ath olic b oys a t G onzag a. H e h ad a nic e, o pen f a ce. N ot h an dso m e, r e ally , b ut d efin ite ly n ot p la in . I t was h is h an ds th at w ere b eau tif u l. H e m ad e s tr a n ge, u nex pecte d gestu re s w hen h e t a lk ed , u se d h is h an ds l ik e a m ag ic ia n w ould .

“Y our h an ds a re b eau tif u l,” L ynn s a id .

“R eally ?” Ju nio r ask ed , su rp ris e d . H e lo oked at h is o w n han ds a s if th ey b elo nged to s o m eo ne e ls e . T hey h ad n ev er b een more t h an t o ols t o h im . N ow m ay be t h ey w ere b eau tif u l t o ols .

“H i,” Ju nio r sa id in ste ad of th an kin g Lynn fo r her co m plim en t. H e b ecam e v ery n erv ous.

“H i,” L ynn s a id .

They s a t t h ere f o r a l ittle w hile l o nger i n s ile n ce. T hen L ynn paid f o r t h e f o od a n d l e d J u nio r o ut t h e d oor.

“L is te n ,” sh e sa id an d k is se d Ju nio r. Ju st lik e th at, th ey kis se d . Ju nio r h ad n ev er k is se d a w hite w om an b efo re a n d h e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" use d h is to ngue a lo t, re ach ed fo r e v ery p art o f h er m outh , a n d tr ie d t o f in d o ut i f s h e t a ste d d if fe re n t.

“Iris h ,” L ynn b ro ke t h e k is s a n d s a id , a s i f s h e r e ad J u nio r’s min d. “ I’m I ris h .” Ju nio r d re am ed o f th e w este rn th at sta rre d L ynn a s L ynn a n d Ju nio r a s h im se lf . D urin g t h e l o ve s c en es, t h e c am era w ould f a d e out j u st a s t h ey f e ll i n to e ach o th er’s a rm s. B ut i n r e al l if e , J u nio r an d L ynn fe ll o nto th e b ed , d re w c ir c le s o n e ach o th er’s n ak ed bodie s, a n d c o unte d m ole s.

Ju nio r ra n th ro ugh h is v ocab ula ry in h is m in d: m ak e lo ve, se x , do it, fu ck . H e w an te d to clim b out of bed an d fin d a th esa u ru s. H e w an te d L ynn t o w his p er s y nonym s i n h is e ar.

Lynn to uch ed J u nio r’s b ro w n s k in a n d s m ile d . S he r e aliz ed th at a ll t h ose s e x ual s te re o ty pes a b out I n dia n s w ere b oth t r u e a n d fa ls e , but th en sh e als o re aliz ed th at th ere w ere no se x ual ste re o ty pes a b out I n dia n s. S he t o uch ed h er b elly a n d w ondere d i f sh e h ad g otte n p re g nan t. T hey h ad u se d a r u bber b ut w ho k now s ab out th ose th in gs, rig ht? She ru bbed her belly a little an d wondere d w hat th eir im ag in ary b ab y w ould lo ok lik e. S he w as alm ost sc are d . She had n’t m ean t th is to hap pen , sh e’d ju st wan te d so m e co m pan y. S he’d n ev er b een alo ne at C hris tm as.

Ju nio r w as S an ta C la u s w ith b ra id s, m ay be.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “W hat i f I ’m p re g nan t? ” “Y ou’re n ot.” “M ay be I a m .” “M ay be n ot.” But L ynn m is se d h er n ex t p erio d a n d th en h er n ex t b efo re sh e w en t t o s tu den t h ealth t o c o nfir m t h e n ew s. J u nio r w aite d f o r her o uts id e, i n t h e s n ow a n d c o ld .

“I’m p re g nan t,” s h e s a id .

“W hat d o y ou w an t t o d o?” She s h ru gged h er s h ould ers .

“G et m arrie d ?” J u nio r a sk ed .

“N o,” s h e s a id . “ I d on’t l o ve y ou. I t w as j u st o ne n ig ht.” “A bortio n?” “N o w ay , I ’d g o t o h ell f o r s u re . I ’m C ath olic , r e m em ber? ” “A doptio n?” “I co uld n’t g iv e m y b ab y aw ay afte r carry in g it all th at tim e.” “O ur b ab y,” J u nio r s a id . “ O ur b ab y.” Lynn s ta rte d t o c ry a n d J u nio r s o on j o in ed h er. T hey w alk ed fo r h ours , t a lk ed v ery l ittle .

“O h, G od, w hat’s h e g oin g t o b e?” L ynn s a id . “ W hat s h ould we n am e h im ?” “S he,” J u nio r s a id . “ M ay be i t’ ll b e a s h e.” "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Sean C ase y w as a h ealth y b ab y, w ith d ark sk in a n d b lu e e y es, web bed to es. H e c o uld ta lk b y th e tim e h e w as o ne a n d r e ad b y th e tim e he w as th re e. B ut Ju nio r only le arn ed th ose deta ils th ro ugh t h e m ail, b y r a n dom p hone c alls a n d t im ed v is its . H e h ad nev er p re sse d L ynn fo r a n yth in g o th er th an m in im al v is ita tio n rig hts a n d L ynn l o ved h im f o r t h at s m all a ct, i f n oth in g e ls e .

Lynn’s p are n ts r e fu se d t o a ccep t S ean C ase y ’s I n dia n b lo od an d, in fa ct, ex hib ite d a kin d of den ia l th at was nearly path olo gic al i n i ts i n te n sity . B ut L ynn c o ntin ually r e m in ded S ean of h is h erita g e, re ad h im b ooks a b out In dia n s in th e w om b a n d crib , g av e h im I n dia n b ooks to r e ad w hen h e f in ally c o uld d o it him se lf .

Lynn ta u ght Sean th e Spokan e word fo r lo ve, quen co m anch e , but Sean co uld nev er get his to ngue aro und th e sy lla b le s. B ut h e a lw ay s t r ie d .

Lynn e v en tu ally re tu rn ed to G onzag a a fte r d ro ppin g o ut to hav e th e b ab y. J u nio r a lw ay s im ag in ed th at in th eir m ovie , s h e would h av e a o ne-p ara g ra p h d esc rip tio n o f th e re st o f h er lif e ju st b efo re t h e c lo sin g c re d its r o lle d :

LY NN C A SE Y re tu rn ed to c o lle g e a n d e arn ed h er d eg re e in A m eric an H is to ry . S he gra d uate d w ith honors an d is cu rre n tly p urs u in g h er m aste r’s in h is to ry , fo cu sin g o n th e "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Am eric an W est. H er th esis p ap er, “O f B ulle ts an d B an d- Aid s: R ep air in g th e M yth olo gy o f D odge C ity ,” is b ein g publis h ed in th e Jo urn al o f A pplie d H is to ry a nd L ite ra tu re , Sum mer 1 986. L ynn an d h er so n, S ean , liv e in S pokan e, Wash in gto n.

Ju nio r s ta y ed in s c h ool a n oth er y ear, e v en to ok a n oth er h is to ry cla ss fro m th e p ro fe sso r w ho’d ta u ght th at c o urs e w here L ynn an d J u nio r h ad m et. A lth ough J u nio r h ad d one f a ir ly w ell in th e fir s t c la ss, h e w an te d to d o e v en b ette r th e n ex t tim e a ro und. H e stu die d h ard , s a crif ic ed h is g ra d es i n o th er c o urs e s, e v en s k ip ped oth er c la sse s to s tu dy h is to ry . A nd ju st lik e L ynn h ad d one, h e ch alle n ged t h e p ro fe sso r o n e v ery p oin t. E very d eta il.

“B ut d on’t y ou th in k th e g unfig hte r w as ju st a s y m bol th at ju stif ie d t h e v io le n t n atu re o f w hite m en ?” J u nio r a sk ed .

The p ro fe sso r i g nore d J u nio r a n d c o ntin ued w ith h is l e ctu re .

Ju nio r le an ed back in his ch air an d dre am ed of bein g a gunfig hte r. H e d re w h is p is to l a n d f ir e d , o nce, t w ic e, t h re e t im es.

He n ev er m is se d .

“B ut don’t you th in k th e weste rn movie is ju st a co nte m pora ry m easu re o f A m eric a’s fo ndness fo r w ar? ” J u nio r ask ed .

“O kay, o kay,” t h e p ro fe sso r s a id . “ E nough l e ctu re . T im e f o r "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" a p op q uiz . A nd y ou c an a ll t h an k M r. P ola tk in f o r i t.” The c la ss g ro an ed a n d str u ggle d w ith th e te st. Ju nio r ra n th ro ugh th e te st, an sw ere d m ost q uestio ns co rre ctly , m is se d a co uple . H e c arrie d t h e t e st u p t o t h e p ro fe sso r.

“C orre ct t h is ,” J u nio r s a id .

“I’ll g iv e i t b ack t o y ou n ex t c la ss,” t h e p ro fe sso r s a id .

“N o, c o rre ct i t n ow .” The p ro fe sso r g ra b bed th e te st f ro m J u nio r, h oped it w as a fa ilu re . B ut J u nio r d id w ell e n ough t o g et a n A .

“H ap py n ow ?” t h e p ro fe sso r a sk ed .

“N o,” J u nio r s a id . H e to ok th e te st p ap er b ack a n d th re w it in th e g arb ag e a s h e w alk ed o ut th e c la ssro om d oor a n d o ut o f co lle g e. H e h itc h hik ed b ack to th e r e se rv atio n, s to pped a t a p ay phone, a n d m ad e a c o lle ct c all t o L ynn.

“H ello , L ynn, t h is i s J u nio r. I l e ft s c h ool.” “Ju nio r, you can ’t do th at. Y ou can ’t go back to th e re se rv atio n. Y ou’ll d ie o ut t h ere .” “W ell, I ’m d yin g a t s c h ool, to o. S o I g uess it’s a m atte r o f ch oosin g m y o w n g ra v e.” “L is te n , J u nio r, d o y ou n eed a n yth in g?” “C an I t a lk t o m y s o n?” “S ure , h old o n.” Ju nio r w aite d f o r S ean C ase y ’s v oic e.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" “H ello ?” “H i, S ean , i t’ s D ad dy.” “D ad dy.” “I l o ve y ou, S ean .” “ Quen c o m anch e , D ad dy.” “Y eah , S ean , quen c o m anch e .” Ju nio r h ung u p th e p hone an d w alk ed d ow n th e h ig hw ay to w ard th e re se rv atio n. H e w an te d to im ag in e th at he w as walk in g o ff in to th e su nse t, in to a h ap py e n din g. B ut h e k new th at a ll a lo ng th e r o ad h e tr a v ele d , th ere w ere r e se rv atio n d riv e- in s, e ach s h ow in g a n ew a n d p ain fu l s e q uel t o t h e f ir s t a ct o f h is lif e .

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" A B io gra p hy o f S herm an Ale x ie S herm an A le x ie w as b orn in O cto ber 1 966. A S pokan e/C oeu r d ’A le n e I n dia n , h e g re w u p o n t h e S pokan e I n dia n R ese rv atio n i n W ellp in it, W ash in gto n, a b out f if ty m ile s n orth w est o f S pokan e.

Ale x ie w as born hydro cep halic — mean in g his bra in w as o verp ro ducin g c ere b ra l s p in al f lu id — an d u nderw en t a n o pera tio n a t th e a g e o f s ix m onth s, w hic h h e w as n ot e x pecte d to s u rv iv e.

W hen h e c am e th ro ugh, h is d octo rs w arn ed th at h e w ould liv e w ith s e v ere m en ta l d am ag e. H ow ev er, A le x ie b eat th e o dds a n d p ro ved h im se lf s o m ew hat o f a p ro dig y. D esp ite s u ff e rin g fro m s e iz u re s th ro ughout h is ch ild hood, h e le arn ed to re ad b y ag e t h re e, an d h ad d ev oure d su ch n ovels as Jo hn S te in beck ’s The G ra pes o f W ra th b y a g e f iv e, t h ough h e s a y s, “ I c erta in ly m is se d p le n ty o f n uan ce. B ein g p re co cio usly lite ra te is n ot th e s a m e a s b ein g l ite ra ry .” While s tu dyin g a t th e W ellp in it s c h ool, A le x ie w as h an ded a te x tb ook th at had his m oth er’s nam e in it. R ealiz in g th e b le ak ness o f e d ucatio n o n th e r e se rv atio n a n d f e elin g o str a ciz ed b y h is p eers , A le x ie b ecam e d ete rm in ed to b re ak a w ay. S hortly t h ere afte r, h e m ad e u p h is m in d t o a tte n d R eard an H ig h S ch ool, a " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" sc h ool o ff th e re se rv atio n a n d th ir ty m ile s so uth o f W ellp in it, whic h pro m is e d to sa tis fy his cra v in g fo r a new an d bette r ex perie n ce.

The only In dia n th ere , ex cep t fo r th e sc h ool m asc o t, he ex celle d i n a cad em ic s a n d b ecam e t h e s ta r o f t h e b ask etb all t e am —whic h , in cid en ta lly , in sp ir e d h is fir s t y oung a d ult n ovel, The Abso lu te ly T ru e D ia ry o f a P art- T im e I n dia n.

Upon g ra d uatin g fro m R eard an H ig h in 1 985, A le x ie w en t on to a tte n d G onzag a U niv ers ity , a n d tr a n sfe rre d a fte r tw o y ears to W ash in gto n S ta te U niv ers ity , w here h e in itia lly p la n ned to stu dy m ed ic in e … befo re fa in tin g se v era l tim es in hum an an ato m y c la sse s. I t w as, c le arly , t im e f o r a c h an ge.

Stu m blin g in to a p oetr y w ork sh op le d b y A le x K uo ( a u th or of Lip stic k a nd O th er S to rie s ), A le x ie r e aliz ed th at h e h ad f o und his t r u e p assio n. H e g ra d uate d f ro m W SU w ith a B A i n A m eric an stu die s, an d re ceiv ed th e W ash in gto n S ta te A rts C om mis sio n Poetr y F ello w sh ip in 1 991, a s w ell a s th e N atio nal E ndow m en t fo r th e A rts P oetr y F ello w sh ip in 1 992. T he s a m e y ear, h is f ir s t tw o poetr y co lle ctio ns, The B usin ess of F ancyd ancin g an d I Would S te a l H orse s, w ere p ublis h ed .

This p ro ved t o b e t h e b eg in nin g o f a l o ng a n d s to rie d c are er, la n dm ark ed b y n um ero us p re stig io us a w ard s, i n clu din g a S pecia l Cita tio n fo r th e P E N /H em in gw ay A w ard fo r B est F ir s t B ook o f "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Fic tio n, a Lila W alla ce– R ead er’s D ig est W rite rs ’ A w ard , a Natio nal Book Aw ard fo r Young Peo ple ’s Lite ra tu re , th e PE N /F au lk ner A w ard , t h e P E N /M ala m ud A w ard , a n d a f o ur- tim e World H eav yw eig ht P oetr y C ham pio n t itle . A le x ie a ls o v en tu re d in to film , w ritin g a n d p ro ducin g th e c ritic ally a ccla im ed Sm oke Sig nals , w hic h w as re le ase d a t th e S undan ce F ilm F estiv al a n d won th e A udie n ce A w ard a s w ell a s th e F ilm mak er’s T ro phy.

Subse q uen tly pic k ed up an d dis tr ib ute d by M ir a m ax Film s, Sm oke Sig nals was Ale x ie at his best, desc rib ed as “u npre te n tio us, fu nny an d so ulf u l” by th e San Fra ncis c o Chro nic le .

Desp ite h is s u ccess, A le x ie ’s s e n se o f s o cia l c o nsc io usn ess nev er le ft him . H e is a vora cio us public sp eak er on eth nic to le ra n ce, in so m nia , an d alc o holis m , all of whic h hav e in flu en ced h im a t d iff e re n t p oin ts in h is lif e . C urre n tly , A le x ie liv es i n S eattle w ith h is w if e a n d t w o s o ns.

"* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Sherm an A le x ie ’s g ra ndfa th er ( a t r ig ht) in 1 944.

" * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" Sherm an A le x ie ’s f a th er, S herm an A le x ie S r., a s t h e “ In dia n C ow boy Toddle r.” " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" Sherm an A le x ie S r. in h is y outh .

" * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" Sherm an A le x ie S r. a s h e m atr ic u la te d in c a th olic s c h ool.

" * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" Sherm an A le x ie S r. d onnin g f u ll r eg alia a t a ge s ix te en in 1 956.

" * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" The a uth or’s p aren ts ( a t le ft) in t h eir e a rly t w en tie s w it h t h e “ Jam es Dea n I n dia n” a nd t h e “ L os L obos I n dia n.” " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" A w ig -w ea rin g A le x ie ( a t le ft) w it h h is b ig b ro th er, A rn old , in 1 967.

" * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" Sherm an A le x ie ( a t b ack , le ft) w it h h is t w in s is te rs, b ig b ro th er, a nd d ad (p artia lly h id den ) in 1 969.

" * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" Pic tu red in S an F ra ncis c o , t h e a uth or ( a t m id dle , r ig ht) w it h h is f a m ily in 1974.

" * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" Sherm an A le x ie ’s f a th er o n h is w ay t o a m id -1 970s d is c o C hris tm as party .

" * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" Sherm an A le x ie b efo re h is f o urth -g ra de C hris tm as s h ow in 1 975.

" * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" Sherm an A le x ie ’s p ate rn al g rea t-g ra ndm oth er in t h e m id -1 970s.

" * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" Sherm an A le x ie w ea rin g b ig , g overn m en t-is su ed g la sse s in 1 976.

" * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" Six th -g ra der S herm an A le x ie in 1 977.

" * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" A ll r ig hts r e se rv ed , in clu din g w ith out lim ita tio n th e r ig ht to r e p ro duce th is e b ook o r a n y p ortio n th ere o f in a n y f o rm o r b y a n y m ean s, w heth er e le ctr o nic o r m ech an ic al, n ow k now n o r h ere in afte r in ven te d , w ith out th e e x pre ss w ritte n p erm is sio n o f th e p ublis h er.

T his is a w ork o f f ic tio n. N am es, c h ara cte rs , p la ces, e v en ts , a n d in cid en ts e ith er a re t h e p ro duct o f th e a u th or’s im ag in atio n o r a re u se d f ic titio usly . A ny r e se m bla n ce to a ctu al p ers o ns, liv in g o r d ead , b usin esse s, c o m pan ie s, e v en ts , o r lo cale s is e n tir e ly c o in cid en ta l.

G ra te fu l a ck now le d gm en t is m ad e to th e f o llo w in g jo urn als , w here s o m e o f th ese s to rie s o rig in ally a p peare d , in s lig htly d if fe re n t f o rm : Hangin g L oose :

“ C ra zy H ors e D re am s” a n d “ F am ily P ortr a it” ; Blu e M esa R evie w : “ Im ag in in g th e R ese rv atio n”; L actu ca :

“ A m use m en ts ” ; Esq uir e :

“ T his I s W hat I t M ean s to S ay P hoen ix , A riz o na.” C opyrig ht © 1 993, 2 005 b y S herm an A le x ie N ew P ro lo gue C opyrig ht © 2 013 b y S herm an A le x ie a n d J e ss W alte r C over d esig n b y C onnie G ab bert 9 78-1 -4 804-5 716-4 T his e d itio n p ublis h ed in 2 013 b y O pen R oad I n te g ra te d M ed ia , I n c.

3 45 H udso n S tr e et N ew Y ork , N Y 1 0014 w ww.o pen ro ad m ed ia .c o m " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" EA RLY B IR D B O OKS FR ESH E BO OK D EA LS, D ELIV ER ED D AIL Y BE T H E F IR ST T O K NO W A BO UT FR EE A ND D IS C O UNTED E BO OKS NEW D EA LS H ATC H E V ER Y D AY!

" * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" EB O OKS B Y S H ER M AN ALE XIE FR O M O PEN R O AD M ED IA " * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" Ava ila ble w here ve r e books a re s o ld "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******" Open R oad In te g ra te d M ed ia is a d ig it a l p ublis h er a nd mult im edia c o nte nt c o m pany. O pen R oad c re ate s co nnectio ns b etw een a uth ors a nd th eir a udie nce s b y mark e tin g it s e books th ro ugh a n ew p ro prie ta ry o nlin e pla tfo rm , w hic h u se s p re m iu m v id eo c o nte nt a nd s o cia l media .

Vid eo s, A rc h iv al D ocu m en ts , an d N ew Rele ases Sig n u p fo r th e O pen R oad M edia n ew sle tte r a nd g et new s d eliv e re d s tr a ig ht to y o ur in box.

Sig n u p n ow a t www.o penro adm edia .c o m /n ew sle tte rs FIN D O UT M ORE A T WWW.O PEN RO ADM ED IA .C O M FO LLO W U S:

" * *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- c o nverte r.c o m *******" @open ro ad m ed ia a n d Faceb ook.c o m /O pen R oad M ed ia "* *****eb ook c o nverte r D EM O - w ww.e b ook- co nverte r.c o m *******"