Write a 3 page conclusion for my Communication paper

Sydkne Rackley

Professor Truet

Intro Communication Theory

March 3, 2017

Growing up, I’ve always asked myself “Who do you want to be?” I never struggled with finding that out, because my parents made it easy for me and my siblings. They may tell you their opinion on the subject, but they’ll always support us. Family is very important to me, we support each other, and it’s a very loving home. I think that’s why it’s so easy for me to try something new or be a little adventurous because I was taught not to be afraid of new things or the unknown. Which were one of the many things that helped build my character and make me who I am and get me to where I want to be. Communications is a broad field and there are so many ways of communication it is berserk. In this essay I’m going to take what we’ve learned from class and apply it to myself to truly get to know who I am.

Within many different micro cultures, they have values and symbols that are important to this specific group that they belong to. For example, Punk subcultures are defined by wearing darker clothes, maybe makeup, they have specific music subscribed to them, as well as having others around them that enjoy the same micro culture as them. Symbolic Interaction Theory centers on the relationship between symbols and interactions. It also views individuals as active, reflective participants in their social context. Some themes of the theory are the importance of meanings for human behavior, the importance of self-concept, and the relationship between the individual and society. By using the concepts within this theory, I can easily describe myself within this theory. I can say that I am a ‘vibes’ person if I feel like the interaction between myself and another person was off it would definitely alert me that maybe I shouldn’t really engage in conversation with them anymore. I’m all for meeting new people and small talk, I don’t mind truly getting to know a person but if the conversation is forced I never am one to force a conversation. I’ll just keep a mental note about our previous discussion and then judge people based from that. Self-concept is very important to me, after every conversation that I have, I reflect on it to see if it was negative or positive and based from what I’m told I take it as a good characteristic in myself or a bad one. For example, I work at Red Robins and I’m often told that I’m a great server and that I am a hard worker from coworkers, and managers to guests. People often compliment me on those qualities, so I try to uphold myself to the same standard anytime I go into work. That’s a part of my looking glass self, sometimes I feel like I may care what others think too much and it can impact me negatively as well because it’s always easy to remember the negative things said about you and people will often try to improve themselves especially if others view them in an unfavorable way. For instance, at work one of my tables were mad because the food was taking a while, I was trying my best to keep them entertained with fries and dipping sauces. But they were ready for the main course which I wouldn’t be able to pull out of a hat for them. I told them about the wait and they flipped out on me and demanded to speak to a manager, going on to say that I was rude. To my knowledge I didn’t think that I was rude but the way that they perceived my actions made them think otherwise and they announce it to my manager. After that experience I tried to work on my facial expressions and tone of voice so that people wouldn’t mistake me for being someone who is rude. I’m always known for being nice, funny, and confidential person, if you trust me with your personal business I’d never tell anyone else. I like to be real and down to earth with my family and friends, even to people whom I just meet. I feel like a lot of people can sense that about me and I have a magnet that always attracts me to small talk or making new friends. Just like any parents they set standards for their kids and expect their offspring to withhold certain values and reach their goals. My father is undeniably the reason for my Pygmalion Self. He sees all the talent within his kids and really hold us to certain values, I like to sing and he looked up auditions for Broadway shows, Xfactor, and even American idol. He says all the time “My kids have so much talent and do nothing with it” so I try to practice singing more and even plan on to start going to some tryouts this summer. I try to always push myself because I know that he worked hard to be as successful as he is and he just wants the same for us so when he’s gone he knows we’ll be okay. My parents are always suggesting that we try new activities and new things keeping us active and aware. It pushes me to do better and helps me understand the definition of determination. Another example would be that growing up my parents never checked mine nor my siblings’ homework they trusted that we were doing what were supposed to without having to be told. Which created a Pygmalion Self to always make sure that I do my homework and strive for more now so that I will be able to use my education to it’s full extent.

Like I’ve stated before, I like meeting new people and I’m good at making small talk and getting to know someone. I hate the feeling of a conversation being awkward or feeling uncomfortable speaking on certain things. I always try to avoid that feeling, that feeling is called Cognitive Dissonance Theory, it is the feeling of discomfort resulting from inconsistent attitudes, thoughts, and behaviors. People are motivated to reduce dissonance and will ignore the opposing view point, change their beliefs to match their actions, or seek reassurance. Being dissonant is something that I try to avoid because no one likes to be around people whose views are opposed to theirs, so I never ignore the opposing viewpoint I always try to change my beliefs or seek reassurance. One time my friend asked me if I wanted to get Cuban food in Montclair, she’s been to the restaurant before but I hadn’t and she knows that I’m not too fond of trying new food so we argued about it and I eventually gave in and looked up the menu to see if there’s anything that I would like. She gave me some recommendations but I’m always skeptical when it comes to her food choices, because she will eat ANYTHING! She also has a big food pallet so she never finds certain food gross and she eats things that I don’t. Which made me dissonant about going because I didn’t want to try food and not like it, but I agreed to go and I ended up really liking it. So afterwards I changed my mind about the restaurant and we go back all the time now. CDT shows the platforms that people will take to avoid different opinions on subjects or conversations. I’m personally like that I don’t like the feeling of feeling like an outcast but my dad and brother don’t care about dissonance I think they prefer it that way, they love to debate and beat their opinions into your head. This theory is based from persuading others and decisions; the selection process is a basis for avoiding dissonant information. I often use selective interpretation when meeting someone new, even if I haven’t met them yet and other people are telling me negative things about someone I’ll tend to ignore it until I find out for myself. I never like basing my opinion of someone from someone else’s opinion, seeing that I perceive things differently in my brain than the person telling me does. I can plainly see the CDT within myself being that I never like to be on the outside of groups, or having disagreements do bring me discomfort because I’m not that type of person. Even within my family, whenever someone has an argument or disagreement with someone in the house they come to me for whatever reason and they’ll talk about the disagreement and ask me do I agree or to pick a side. But I never do, I like to mediate everyone else I never get into the conflict. Dissonance makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable especially within my group of friends, I hate when they argue because it’s like they’re telling you to pick a side without even saying it, It can be frustrating sometimes.

Another Theory that we’ve learned about so far would be the Expectancy Violations Theory, which is a theory of communication that analyzes how individuals respond to unanticipated violations of social norms and expectations. The theory was developed from the Nonverbal expectancy violation model by Burgoon which described the personal space possessed by a person and how people responded to its violation. Expectancies are thoughts and behaviors anticipated in conversations, they can be verbal or nonverbal. There are two types of expectancies Pre-interactional which is what you think before you meet them and interactional which is your thoughts after meeting them. If I’m not at school than I’m usually at work and the proxemics zones are typically the same, at school and work I keep a personal distance from people. Sometimes I find it hard to not invade others privacy at work when I must put something down on the table or maybe clearing plates off the table. I try to make sure that they’re done before I reach into their personal space or ‘intimate space’ because some people find that rude or disrespectful. Other than that, I never get in anyone’s personal bubble because I know it can be annoying. In my first-grade class, there was a boy named Matt we were really good friends but he would talk to me so close to my face I can smell what he just ate, and I never really told him to back up because I didn’t see a problem with it. But one day as I was saying goodbye to my friends she noticed Matt was closer than all the other kids when we spoke and she asked me why does he stand so close I told her that I didn’t know and she told me not to let him talk to me so closely, to politely ask him to take a couple steps back. But children don’t have any boundaries when it comes to things like that until we get older and began to realize we shouldn’t be talking with our faces this close to each other. After that one experience, I learned about personal space, Expectancy violation theory emphasizes an individual’s perception of the interaction in a particular situation. People while communicating will create an expectation of how the other will react. Violation to this expectation can cause to a perception that will be positive or negative. People behave differently according to the cultural values they grow up in and this influences the reaction of the people considerably. Expectancy in people are determined by three factors, interactant characteristics, interpersonal characteristics, and the environment. They all come into play when speaking about EVT. When I was younger maybe six or seven years old like every little kid you give me some markers, or crayons and leave me in the room alone I’ll most likely write on something. Which I did, I wrote my name all over the room with a sharpie, not only on the walls but my desk as well. My mom walked in and saw the walls I was expecting the worse punishment possible, but she didn’t yell she told me I was doing a good job writing my name but I was writing my S’s backwards. I was so shocked I didn’t know what to say back. Then later that day we went to the store to get paint for my room as well as some letter tracing coloring books, and my mom handed them to me and said if I do it again, I’ll feel the pain. I never wanted to find out what kind of pain so I never did it again, but that was definitely as time that I encountered EVT and luckily didn’t get reprimanded. Some aspects of the theory that help describe me would be the three characteristics of EVT. Especially the interactant characteristics like, age, sex, personality traits, as well as the environment setting that we’re in. It refers to the cultural influence as well as the social situation in which we’re in at that moment and all these factors lead to an expectation in behavior to which I can conceive the violation from the expected behavior as positive or negative. Definitions of myself using the Expectancy Violation Theory would have to be usually predictive, because I’m in contact with the same people everyday, my days are kind of routinized. Especially when I’m at work if I see someone’s drink getting low, or maybe they’re down to their last three fries, I will assume that they’d like more and bring out more. Sometimes I’m right and sometimes I’m wrong but it’s just an expectation that I know is more than likely going to come so I try to prevent myself from having to run back and forth like a mad scientist. Another definition of myself using EVT would be that I definitely value my own personal space but sometimes I touch people when I laugh or talk which sometimes bothers others so I try not to because I know that I wouldn’t want anybody to do it to me. I’m usually always in a public space because I’m usually at home, or work.

While taking the Kiersey Temperament test I had received the result of an Idealist Champion, we were described as people who love to take on new things but once we’ve gotten it down packed we’re ready to move on to the next project. Which is very true, I get bored easily and once I do whatever was holding my attention before doesn’t hold the same attention anymore so I’ll often go find a new hobby or adventure to partake in. Another characteristic of a champion are that, they’re good with people and usually have a wide range of personal relationships. Which is also very true for me, I am an automatic engaging person, strangers will often walk up to me and have a five to ten-minute conversation about their personal lives. I am a good listener and I think that’s what people value the most, I’ll give me opinion if it was requested, but other than that I’ll never force my opinion on anyone. Like I said before, everyone in my house always comes to me to vent and I always stay neutral. I hate negativity and if I feel like you’re that kind of person I’ll stay away from you. I’m the kind of person who can tell right off of the bat if I can befriend you and if I feel like I can’t I won’t force it, I’ll just keep my distance from you. There was this girl that I knew since ninth grade and all my friends liked her, but I didn’t there was just something about her that I didn’t like. So, whenever we all hung out I’d just talk to everyone else and not engage in conversation with her. Eventually later into our high school careers all my friends that used to like her didn’t even talk to her anymore because she just wasn’t a good person and they finally saw it. But I picked it up right away from the jump that I shouldn’t engage with her and I was right. I always like to trust my gut feeling even because whenever I don’t I regret it. The drive of a champion makes us the most vivacious and inspiring of all the other types. We are passionately individualistic, Champions strive toward personal authenticity, and the intention to always be themselves. At the same time, Champions have outstanding natural powers and can tell what is going on inside of others, reading hidden emotions and giving special significance to words or actions. In fact, Champions are constantly scanning the social environment, far more than the other Idealists, Champions are keen and probing observers of the people around them, and are capable of intense concentration on another individual. Their attention is rarely passive or casual. Furthermore, Champions tend to be extra sensitive and alert, always ready for emergencies, always on the lookout for what's possible. I believe that these aspects of an Idealist champion are bestowed in me. Even though my temperament type is rare, we can inspire people with our enthusiasm and idealism.