1050 work paper

Overheard from a student before class: I’ve had it with all this cultural diversity and gender stuff. It seems like every textbook in every class is obsessed with it. My music appreciation class is trying to force the music of other cultures down my throat. What’s wrong with Bach, Beethoven, and Brahms? In English lit, all we’re reading is stuff by people from different countries. And it seems my history prof talks only about obscure people I’ve never heard of before. I’m tired of all this politically correct nonsense. I mean, we’re all Americans, aren’t we? We’re not going off to live in Africa, China, or India. Why don’t they just teach us what we need to know and cut all this diversity garbage? Have you heard this kind of sentiment expressed before? Perhaps you’ve encountered such a “diversity backlash” among some of your classmates, or you may harbor this attitude yourself. Some people may find it unsettling that school curricula and textbooks have increased their focus on issues of culture and gender differences. But these changes are not motivated by an irrational desire to be politically correct. We’ll see in this chapter that they are taking place because diversity is increasing in the United States and many other parts of the world. School textbooks and courses are reflecting the change, not initiating it. To live comfortably in the 21st century, we must learn ways to appreciate and understand human differences rather than ignore them, suffer because of them, or wish they would disappear. One of life’s unprofound principles with profound implications for human communication is this: We each have different backgrounds and experiences.1 Your employers, teachers, religious leaders, best friends, or romantic partners may have grown up with cultural traditions different from your own. And the not-so-startling fact that people are different from one another provides the context for discussion of our final Communication Principle for a Lifetime: Effective communicators appropriately adapt their messages to others. Figure 6.1 presents our now-familiar model, which includes this final principle of appropriately adapting messages to others. Figure 6.1 Communication Principles for a Lifetime We introduce this principle last because often people learn how to adapt only after they have learned the other communication principles. Being able to adapt to others requires a relatively sophisticated understanding of the communication process. The ability to adapt suggests that you already have a sense of who you are and a consciousness of the presence of others—self-awareness and other-awareness, the components of the first principle we presented.2 Studies in developmental communication suggest that the ability to appropriately adapt our behavior to others evolves after we have become aware that there is a “me,” after we have learned to use verbal and nonverbal symbols to communicate, and after we have developed an ability to hear and listen to others, all skills that we begin to develop as infants and refine throughout our lives. The goals of this chapter are to identify human differences that may inhibit communication with others and to suggest adaptive strategies that can improve the quality and effectiveness of our communication with others. To frame our discussion of diversity and communication, we’ll note differences in gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, and age and the implications these differences have for communication. Some of these differences are learned, and some are based on biology—or, in the case of age differences, simply how long someone has lived—but they all have an effect on how we perceive and interact with others. As you read in Chapter 2, each of us perceives the world differently. To some degree, we are each estranged from others. Following our discussion of some of the classic ways we are diverse, we’ll turn our attention to cultural differences and then note how human differences create communication barriers. But simply understanding that there are differences is not enough to improve communication; it is important to learn how to use effective communication skills to adapt to those differences. The phrase “survival of the fittest” is attributed to evolution theorist Charles Darwin, but what Darwin actually said was, “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.”3 We think that Darwin was correct: The ability to adapt is a quintessential communication principle that will serve you well for a lifetime.4 The goal of being able to appropriately adapt your communication to other people does not mean you have to abandon your own traditions and preferences. It does suggest that appropriately using communication strategies to understand and bridge differences that exist among people can enhance human understanding. So we’ll conclude the chapter by identifying strategies to enhance the quality of communication with others by appropriately adapting to our differences. Understanding Diversity 6.1 Describe how differences of gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, and age influence communication. As we begin this chapter, we’ll see that communication researchers have found that differences in our gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, and age affect the way we interact with one another. Some of these differences among groups of people are learned, and some are based on biology—or, in the case of age differences, simply how long someone has lived—but they all have an effect on how we perceive and interact with others. As we study these group differences, however, keep in mind that groups are made up of individual people, and as we’ve noted every single person has different experiences. As C. S. Lewis observed in the quotation that opens this chapter, there are no ordinary people—which implies that each of us is unique. Although you may have some things (such as your gender, age, skin color, where you grew up, or your language) in common with a larger group of people, you nonetheless are a unique individual. And so is everybody else. Sex and Gender Perhaps the most obvious form of human diversity is gender—the division of human beings into female and male. As we pointed out in Chapter 2, a person’s sex is determined by biology. Gender is the culturally constructed and psychologically based perception of one’s self as feminine, masculine, androgynous (having both feminine and masculine traits) or transgender (biologically born one gender while psychologically and culturally living as the other gender). One’s gender is learned and is socially reinforced by others as well as by one’s life experience and genetics. androgynous Exhibiting both masculine and feminine characteristics. transgender Biologically being born one gender while psychologically and culturally living as the other gender. Being transgender is independent from one’s sexual orientation. At one time or another, you have probably thought, “Why doesn’t that person act like people of my sex?” You may not think of yourself as stereotyping others on the basis of their sex or gender, but there is evidence that many of us do make snap judgments about someone’s behavior on the basis of their sex. You may also have heard (or said), “Vive la différence”—a French expression that celebrates that men and women are different. Why celebrate? Because that difference makes us fascinating and mysterious, and it keeps the world from being awfully dull. Whatever your view of the relationship between the sexes, your day-to-day interaction with members of both sexes is a fact of life (unless you’re a hermit). Women and men work, live, and play together, so it’s important to explore the effects of gender on communication to improve our ability to relate to one another. John Gray, author of the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, would have us believe that the sexes are so different that we approach life from two distinct “planets,” or spheres of perspective.5 Although communication scholars have challenged several of Gray’s conclusions because they are not supported by research, there are some research-documented differences in the ways men and women communicate.6 Deborah Tannen, author of several books on the behavior of the sexes, views men and women as distinctly different cultural groups.7 She suggests that female–male communication is cross-cultural communication, with all the challenges inherent in exchanging messages with persons of very different backgrounds and value systems. Have you ever been in a social situation like the one pictured here, in which friends, relatives, or loved ones seem to self-segregate according to gender? What does this common social phenomenon reveal about the nature of gender and communication? How can you appropriately adapt messages to others across gender lines? BananaStock/SuperStock Perhaps these viewpoints are a bit extreme and the sexes are actually more alike than different. Research using multiple methods and originating in various disciplines consistently shows that differences in men’s and women’s communication have more to do with why we communicate than with how we communicate. Research reveals that men tend to approach communication from a content orientation. They view the purpose of communication as primarily goal oriented and tend to talk to accomplish something or complete a task. You talk when you have something to say. This is consistent with the tendency for men to base their relationships, especially their male friendships, on sharing activities rather than talking. Women, research suggests, tend to use communication for the purpose of relating or connecting to others, of extending themselves to other people to know them and be known by them. What you talk about is less important than that you’re talking, because talking implies a relationship. One study found that when interrupted, women are more likely to simply smile, agree, politely nod, and laugh, actions that suggest, according to the researchers, a greater effort, even when interrupted, to maintain a positive relationship and facilitate the flow of conversation.8 To summarize this difference: Men often communicate to report; women often communicate to establish rapport.9 So the point of difference isn’t in the way the sexes actually communicate but in the motivations or reasons for communicating.10 Our instrumental and expressive orientations to the world translate into our communication behavior. To bridge the gap, here’s what we suggest you do: • First, work to understand the differences that may exist. • Second, make an insightful examination of your own behavior in light of the differences discussed and then determine how you conform to and differ from the description of members of your sex. • Third, be a gender researcher yourself. Note differences as well as similarities between you and members of the opposite sex. Be careful not to ascribe differences in communication only to gender. Be sure to consider other reasons such as age, personality, or culture, too. • Finally, make a conscious effort to adapt your behavior appropriately; be mindful of how you interact with others to enhance the quality of your relationships with them. In a conversation with a member of the opposite sex, try to assess the person’s communication motivation: What does the other person view as the purpose for the conversation? Sometimes it’s wise simply to ask the person what he or she wants. Then adjust your response accordingly. Just because you’re female doesn’t mean that you have to take an expressive approach to every interaction; just because you’re male doesn’t mean that conversations are always about information exchange. By developing the ability to accomplish both content and relational approaches to communication, you broaden what you can do. Your communication skill increases. RECAP Gender-Based Approaches to Communication Masculine Approach Feminine Approach • More instrumental; often characterized by assertiveness and getting things done • More expressive; often characterized by an emphasis on connecting with others and fostering harmonious relationships • Usually more emphasis on the content of messages and the information being exchanged (the what) rather than on relational elements (the how) in the message • Usually more emphasis on the relational elements of messages • More attention given to verbal than nonverbal messages • More attention given to nonverbal elements, how something is said rather than what is said Sexual Orientation The lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) communities are important groups within the larger U.S. culture. Although we are using the terms lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (a term that communicates a liberation from labels about sexual orientation), Facebook has announced that there are at least fifty-six ways of describing one’s gender and sexual orientation on your Facebook page.11 So rather than thinking about a person’s gender and sexual orientation in terms of just a few rigid categories, it’s more accurate to consider a wide range of gender and sexual orientation identities. Regardless of the label, sexual orientation has become a source of pride for some people but remains socially stigmatized for others. Although 92 percent of LGBTQ individuals in a recent survey said that society is becoming more accepting of them, there is evidence that LGBTQ individuals continue to be judged negatively solely on the basis of their sexual orientation.12 Research has found that a heterosexual person who knows someone who is gay or lesbian is more inclined to be accepting of gays or lesbians and more likely to support same-sex marriage. Still, about 40 percent of LGBTQ individuals report that at some point in their lives they were rejected by a family member or close friend because of their sexual orientation.13 In addition, people who hold negative attitudes toward gays and lesbians are less likely to communicate with them than are those with more accepting views. Research further suggests that heterosexuals who have negative perceptions of gay and lesbian people are more likely to have rigid views about gender roles and will assume that their peers also hold such rigid views and negative impressions of gays and lesbians.14 Perhaps related to such perceptions, homophobia, fear or aversion toward gay and lesbian people, often accompanied by the fear of being labeled or perceived as LGBTQ, continues to exist among many people. homophobia Fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against gays or lesbians. It is because of the persistence of these negative attitudes toward gays and lesbians, as well as antigay violence and harassment, that some gays and lesbians continue to live “in the closet,” concealing their sexual orientations.15 For example, research has found that LGBTQ individuals are frequent communicators via social media; 80 percent report that they have used Facebook or Twitter, compared to 58 percent of the general public. Yet only 16 percent of LGBTQ people indicate that they regularly discuss LGBTQ issues online.16 An effective and appropriate communicator is aware of and sensitive to issues and attitudes about sexual orientation in contemporary society. Just as you have been taught to avoid racially biased expressions that degrade someone’s race or ethnicity, it is equally important to avoid using language that demeans a person’s sexual orientation. Telling stories and jokes whose point or punch line relies on ridiculing a person because of his or her sexual orientation lowers perceptions of your credibility not only among LGBTQ people, but also among people who dislike bias against gays and lesbians. What seems helpful is to create a communication climate in which LGBTQ individuals can be themselves and comfortably talk about who they are without fearing rejection or discrimination. Creating a climate of openness and acceptance is important for any human relationship. Family members who have a gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or queer member report more overall relational satisfaction if their family doesn’t avoid a discussion of sexual orientation. In addition, there is less anxiety and negativity if issues of sexuality, specifically sexual orientation, are discussed openly and appropriately. Many universities offer training courses, known as ally training, to help faculty and staff members create safe, accepting relationships. Participants are informed about LGBTQ culture and taught how to provide appropriate support. A faculty or staff member who has completed ally training may post a sign on his or her door to indicate that it’s safe to be yourself in that person’s office or classroom.17 Sometimes we unintentionally offend someone through subtle use or misuse of language. For example, gays and lesbians typically prefer to be referred to as gay or lesbian, rather than as homosexual,18 and the term sexual orientation is preferred over sexual preference in describing a person’s sexual orientation. The key point is this: It is important to be aware of the range of human sexual expression and to be sensitively other oriented as you interact with those whose sexual orientation is different from your own. Age Because different generations have experienced different cultural and historical events, they often view life differently. If your grandparents or great-grandparents experienced the Great Depression of the 1930s, they may have different attitudes about bank savings accounts than you or even your parents do. Today’s explicit song lyrics may shock older Americans who grew up with such racy lyrics as “makin’ whoopee.” The generation gap is real and has implications for how we communicate with others. There is considerable evidence that people hold stereotypical views of others based on others’ perceived age.19 You may see someone with graying or thinning hair and wrinkles and make assumptions about that person’s preferences in music, food, or even politics. Similarly, older people who see someone with tattoos, piercings, and wildly colored hair may make stereotypical assumptions about a host of preferences of the younger person. (Even our example of old and young draws on stereotypes and runs the risk of reinforcing those stereotypical images.) Regardless of the accuracy of the assumptions we make about others on the basis of perceived age, a person’s age has an influence on his or her communication with others, including how messages are processed. For example, one study found that older adults have greater difficulty in accurately interpreting the nonverbal messages of others than do younger people.20 Older adults don’t like to be patronized or talked down to (who does?).21 And younger people seem to value social support, empathic listening, and being mentored more than older people do.22 Table 6.1 Summary of Generation Characteristics24 Generation Name Birth Years Typical Characteristics Matures 1925–1942 • Work hard • Have a sense of duty • Are willing to sacrifice • Have a sense of what is right • Work quickly Baby boomers 1943–1960 • Value personal fulfillment and optimism • Crusade for causes • Buy now/pay later • Support equal rights for all • Work efficiently Generation X 1961–1981 • Live with uncertainty • Consider balance important • Live for today • Save • Consider every job as a contract Millennials 1982–2002 • Are close to their parents • Feel “special” • Are goal and team oriented • Frequently use social media • Focus on achievement Authors Neil Howe and William Strauss, researchers who have investigated the role of age and generation in society, define a generation as “a society-wide peer group, born over a period roughly the same length as the passage from youth to adulthood, who collectively possess a common persona.”23 Table 6.1. summarizes the labels and common characteristics and values of several generational types. Baby boomers is the label for one such generation, of people born between 1943 and 1960. Perhaps your parents or grandparents are “boomers.” Generation X is the term used for people born between 1961 and 1981. If you were born between 1982 and 2002, you and other members of your generation have been labeled millennials. Researchers Howe and Strauss suggest that, as a group, “Millennials are unlike any other youth generation in living memory. They are more numerous, more affluent, better educated, and more ethnically diverse. More importantly, they are beginning to manifest a wide array of positive social habits that older Americans no longer associate with youth, including a focus on teamwork, achievement, modesty, and good conduct.”25 Millennials are more comfortable with technology than people in other age groups because the Internet, cell phones, and personal computers have always been part of their lives.26 According to research by the Pew Research Center, millennials are also less likely to be tied to a specific religious institution and more likely to build their own personal networks using social media. Although recent economic trends have left many millennials financially stressed, as a group, they still feel optimistic about the future.27 The newest generation—people born since 2002—has been labeled postmillennials. Because postmillennials are just emerging, there is less research that identifies the specific attributes of this generation. One clear observation is that postmillennials view technology as an even more seamless method of interacting with others than do millennials. For postmillennials, technological tools to connect socially have always been a way of relating to others. Your generation of origin has important implications for communication, especially as you relate to others in both family and work situations. Each generation has developed its own set of values, anchored in social, economic, and cultural factors stemming from the times in which the generation has lived. Our values—core conceptualizations of what is fundamentally good or bad and right or wrong—color our way of thinking about and responding to what we experience. Generational and age differences may create barriers and increase the potential for conflict and misunderstanding. For example, one team of researchers, after investigating the role of generations in the workforce, suggests that Generation X workers are paradoxically both more individualistic (self-reliant) and more team oriented than boomers.28 In contrast, boomers are more likely to have a sense of loyalty to their employers, expect long-term employment, value a pension plan, and experience job burnout from overwork. Generation Xers, by contrast, seek a more balanced approach between work and personal life, expect to have more than one job or career, value working conditions over other job factors, and have a greater need to feel appreciated.29 This research suggests that if you have a boomer boss and you are a Generation Xer, your boss may not understand why you want to take extra vacation time just to “clear your head” when there is a lot of work that needs to be done. Of course, these broad generalizations do not apply to all people in these categories. Ethnicity Ethnicity is a social classification based on a variety of factors, such as nationality, religion, and language, as well as biological ancestral heritage (race), that are shared by a group of people with a common geographic origin. Simply stated, an ethnic group is a group of people who have identified themselves as such, based on a variety of factors that may or may not include ancestral heritage or biological characteristics such as skin color. ethnicity A social classification based on factors, such as nationality, religion, and language as well as biological ancestral heritage, that are shared by a group of people with a common geographic origin. Ethnicity fosters common bonds that affect communication patterns. Although ethnic groups bring vitality and variety to American society, members of these groups may experience persecution or rejection by members of other groups in our society. A concept closely related to ethnicity is race, which is based on the genetically transmitted physical characteristics of a group of people who are also classified together because of a common history, nationality, or geographical location.30 A person’s racial classification is typically based on phenotypes, which are such visible physiological attributes as skin color and other physical features, including body type, hair color and texture, and facial attributes. Skin color and other physical characteristics affect our responses and influence the way people of different races interact. race Genetically transmitted physical characteristics of a group of people. Although it may seem easy to classify individuals genetically as belonging to one race or another, it’s not quite that simple. One geneticist has concluded that there is much more genetic variation within a given racial category than between one race and another.31 There really aren’t vast genetic differences between the people assigned to two racial categories.32 However, some scholars point out that, in practice, many of us think of race as a category that includes not only biological or genetic characteristics, but also such factors as cultural, economic, social, geographic, and historical elements.33 The term race therefore is a fuzzy, somewhat controversial way of classifying people. Communication scholar Brenda Allen emphasizes that ethnicity refers in large part to the common culture shared by people who identify with an ethnic group. Ethnicity may include race, but race is a separate category based on more genetic or biological factors that are not clear-cut.34 A key distinction between race and ethnicity is that ethnicity is a socially constructed category that emphasizes culture (learned behaviors, attitudes, beliefs, values, and norms shared by a group of people) and factors other than racial or genetic background.35 Not all Asians (race), for example, have the same socially constructed cultural background (ethnicity). Nationality and geographical location are especially important in defining an ethnic group. People of Irish ancestry are usually referred to as an ethnic group rather than as a race. The same could be said of Britons, Norwegians, and Spaniards. One of the most significant problems stemming from attempts to classify people by racial or ethnic type is the tendency to discriminate and unfairly, inaccurately, or inappropriately ascribe stereotypes to racial or ethnic groups. Discrimination is the unfair or inappropriate treatment of people based on their group membership. One of the goals of learning about diversity and becoming aware of both differences and similarities among groups is to eliminate discrimination and stereotypes that cause people to rigidly and inappropriately prejudge others. discrimination The unfair or inappropriate treatment of people based on their group membership. Culture and Communication 6.2 Define culture, and compare and contrast cultural contexts and cultural values. You need not travel the world to encounter people who are different from you; the world is traveling to you. The Communication & Diversity feature documents how diverse the United States is already, as well as providing evidence that the trend toward greater diversity will continue.36 Communication & DIVERSITY Diversity Almanac 1. Two-thirds of the immigrants on this planet come to the United States.37 For example, 60 percent of the residents of Miami, Florida, are foreign-born.38 2. “About one in three U.S. residents is a minority,” said U.S. Census Bureau Director Louis Kincannon. “To put this into perspective, there are more minorities in this country today than there were people in the United States in 1910. In fact, the minority population in the U.S. is larger than the total population of all but eleven countries.”39 3. By 2050, more than 50 percent of the U.S. population will be nonwhite; whites will no longer be a majority.40 Even earlier, by the year 2023, nearly half of all young adults in this country will come from minority groups, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.41 4. One in seven U.S. marriages occurs between spouses of different races or ethnicities.42 5. It is estimated that more than 40 million U.S. residents learned something other than English as their first language, including 18 million people whose first language is Spanish.43 One of every eight U.S. residents speaks a language other than English at home, and one-third of children in urban U.S. public schools speak a first language other than English.44 6. By 2050, two of every five children under age 5 in the United States will be Hispanic.45 7. In 2010, over half of U.S. doctoral degrees granted were earned by women.46 8. Estimates of gay and lesbian populations in the United States vary from 1 to 9 percent of the general male population and from 1 to 5 percent of the general female population.47 9. There are more millennials (people born between 1982 and 2002) than any other age group in the U.S. The 2003 population included 100 million millennials, 44 million Generation Xers (1961–1981), and 78 million baby boomers (1943–1960).48 Globalization, the integration of economics and technology that is contributing to a worldwide, interconnected business environment, is changing the way we work and relate to people around the world.49 For example, when you call to get technical assistance with your computer or advice on fixing your TV, you are more likely to talk to someone in India than in Indiana. One statistician notes that if the world were a village of 1,000 people, the village would have 590 Asians, 122 Africans, 96 Europeans, 84 Latin Americans, 55 members of the former Soviet Union, and 53 North Americans.50 Clearly, globalization has increased the probability that you will communicate with someone today who has a cultural background different from your own. Although some people suggest that because of globalization and the merging of cultural traditions, the concept of a “national culture” is obsolete, nonetheless cultural differences do exist. To ignore the range of human cultural differences is to ignore a significant factor, which can mean the difference between effective communication and ineffective communication. globalization The integration of economics and technology that is contributing to a worldwide, interconnected business environment. Defining Culture Culture is a learned system of knowledge, behavior, attitudes, beliefs, values, and norms that is shared by a group of people and shaped from one generation to the next.51 Communication and culture, says anthropologist Edward T. Hall, are inseparable—you can’t talk about one without the other.52 There is ample evidence that documents the influence of culture on how we work and live.53 In the broadest sense, culture includes how people think, what they do, and how they use things to sustain their lives. Researcher Geert Hofstede says culture is the “mental software” that helps us understand our world.54 Like the software and operating system in a computer, our culture provides the framework within which we interpret the data and information that enter our life. culture A learned system of knowledge, behavior, attitudes, beliefs, values, and norms that is shared by a group of people and shaped from one generation to the next. Cultures are not static; they change as new information and new technologies modify them.55 We no longer believe that bathing is unhealthy or that we should use leeches as the primary medical procedure to make us healthy. Through research, we have changed our cultural assumptions and values about personal hygiene and medical care. Some groups of individuals can best be described as a co-culture—a cultural group within a larger culture. Examples of co-cultures include people with physical disabilities, different age groups, and various religious groups. Different Christian denominations, such as the Amish or members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons), have distinct traditions and cultural norms. A person’s gender places her or him in one of the co-cultures that researchers have used to analyze and investigate the influence of communication on our relationships with others. Gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people constitute another example of an important co-culture in our society. co-culture A culture that exists within a larger cultural context (e.g., GLBT cultures, Amish culture). Intercultural communication occurs when individuals or groups from different cultures communicate. The transactional process of listening and responding to people from different cultural backgrounds can be challenging; the greater the difference in culture between two people, the greater the potential for misunderstanding and mistrust. There is evidence that studying the role of culture in our lives can help us adapt when we encounter cultural differences—whether those differences occur in our hometown or when we are living in a culture different from our own.56 Understanding the nature of culture and cultural differences helps us develop strategies to make connections and adapt to others with different “mental software.”57 intercultural communication Communication between people who have different cultural traditions. When you encounter a culture that has little in common with your own, you may experience culture shock, a sense of confusion, anxiety, stress, and loss.58 If you are visiting or actually living in the new culture, your uncertainty and stress may take time to subside as you learn the values and message systems that characterize the culture. Research has found that one of the ways we seek to adapt to a new culture is by using various social media. International exchange students, for example, often use Skype or Facebook to make them feel closer to their friends and family back home and feel less stress when in a new culture. Research has found that students were more likely to Skype with family and close friends.59 culture shock Feelings of confusion, loss, stress, and anxiety that a person may experience when encountering a culture different from his or her own. Communication & TECHNOLOGY Adapting to Differences When Making E-Connections As we have noted, it is increasingly likely that you communicate with people who are far from where you work and live. It’s not unusual to e-mail or text people from another culture. With the advent of Facebook and other social media, as well as Skype and other easy-to-use videoconference methods, it’s also not surprising to see and hear the person you’re talking with. According to a Business Week survey, most people believe that they will be working with someone in an international location by 2017.60 A team of communication researchers points out that when we communicate via e-mail or phone, it takes a bit longer to interpret information about relationships, because often there are fewer nonverbal cues available.61 Evidence also shows that, because of the limited cues, we are more likely to inaccurately stereotype others, especially on the basis of gender, when interacting via electronic channels than we are when communicating face to face.62 Given the importance and prevalence of e-communication and the increased potential for misunderstanding, how can you enhance the quality of your relationships online? Consider these suggestions: • If you are using a “lean” communication channel, such as e-mail or texting, to interact with a person who is from a high-context culture, you may need to provide more explicit references to your feelings and emotions by telling your partner how you feel or using emoticons. • When appropriate, consider asking more questions to clarify meanings. • Consciously make more small talk about the weather or other topics that may not directly be related to the task at hand. Such interaction helps connect you to others, makes the interaction less task oriented, and provides a balance of relational information that humanizes the communication. • Use paraphrasing to confirm that you understand what others are saying. • Finally, you simply may need to be more patient with others; relationships may take longer to develop because of the diminished nonverbal cues. Be mindful of the differences and consciously develop other-oriented skills. Our culture and life experiences determine our worldview—the general cultural perspective that shapes how we perceive and respond to what happens to us. A culture’s worldview, according to intercultural communication scholar Carley Dodd, encompasses “how the culture perceives the role of various forces in explaining why events occur as they do in a social setting.”63 These beliefs shape our thoughts, language, and actions. Your worldview permeates all aspects of how you interact with society; it’s like a lens through which you observe the world. Since, as we noted in Chapter 1, communication is how we make sense of the world and share that sense with others, our worldview is one of the primary filters that influence how we make sense out of the world. Two frameworks for describing how culture influences our worldview are cultural contexts and cultural values. worldview A perspective shared by a culture or group of people about key beliefs and issues, such as death, God, and the meaning of life, that influences interaction with others; the lens through which people in a given culture perceive the world around them. Cultural Contexts The cultural context of any communication consists of the nonverbal cues that surround and give added meaning to the message. In this sense, all nonverbal cues are part of a cultural context. Some cultures give more weight to the surrounding nonverbal context than to the explicit verbal message in interpreting the overall meaning of a message. Other cultures place less emphasis on the nonverbal context and greater emphasis on what someone says. cultural context Additional information about a message that is communicated through nonverbal and environmental cues rather than through language. For example, when you interview for a job, you may be scanning the face of your interviewer and looking for nonverbal messages to provide cues about the impression you are making on the interviewer. These contextual cues (in this case, the nonverbal messages) give meaning to help you interpret the message of your interviewer. Edward T. Hall helped us understand the importance of cultural context when he categorized cultures as either high- or low-context.64 HIGH-CONTEXT CULTURES In high-context cultures, nonverbal cues are extremely important in interpreting messages. Communicators rely heavily on the context of subtle information such as facial expression, vocal cues, and even silence in interpreting messages—hence the term high-context cultures, to indicate the emphasis placed on the context. Asian, Arab, and southern European peoples are more likely to draw on context for message interpretation. high-context culture A culture in which people derive much information from nonverbal and environmental cues and less information from the words of a message. LOW-CONTEXT CULTURES People in low-context cultures rely more explicitly on language and the meaning of words and use fewer contextual cues to send and interpret information. Individuals from low-context cultures, such as North Americans, Germans, and Scandinavians, may perceive people from high-context cultures as less attractive, knowledgeable, and trustworthy because they violate unspoken low-context cultural rules of conduct and communication. Individuals from low-context cultures often are less skilled in interpreting unspoken contextual messages.65 Figure 6.2 describes differences in communication style between high-context and low-context cultures. low-context culture A culture in which people derive much information from the words of a message and less information from nonverbal and environmental cues. Cultural Values Ancient Egyptians worshiped cats. The Druids of England believed they could tap into spiritual powers in the shadow of the mysterious rock circle of Stonehenge at the summer solstice. Some would say contemporary Americans place a high value on accumulating material possessions and making pilgrimages to sports arenas on weekends. By paying attention to what a culture values, we can get important clues about how to respond to communication messages, establish relationships, and avoid making embarrassing errors when interacting with people from a given culture. Identifying what a particular group of people values or appreciates can give us insight into the behavior of an individual raised within that culture. Although there are considerable differences among the world’s cultural values—clearly, not all cultures value the same things—Geert Hofstede has identified five categories for measuring values that are important in almost every culture.66 These generalizations are based on several surveys that he developed and administered to more than 100,000 people. Even though his data were collected more than thirty-five years ago and sampled only employees (predominantly males) who worked at IBM—a large international company with branch offices in many countries—Hofstede’s research remains one of the most comprehensive studies to help us describe what people from a culture may value. cultural values Whatever a given group of people values or appreciates. Figure 6.2 A Scale of High-Context and Low-Context Cultures According to Hofstede’s research, every culture establishes values relating to (1) individualism versus collectivism, (2) distribution of power (either centralized or shared), (3) avoidance of uncertainty versus tolerance for uncertainty, (4) masculine or feminine cultural perspectives, and (5) long-term and short-term orientation to time. An overview of Hofstede’s research conclusions for several countries is included in Table 6.2 at the end of this section, but first we’ll consider each of these five categories of values in more detail. As we discuss the five cultural values, keep in mind that we are applying generalizations to a cultural group. There are vast differences within a culture as well as between cultural groups; certainly not all the people within the cultural group will hold the cultural values we will discuss. Think of these values as explaining cultural group differences viewed from an anthropological perspective rather than individual differences viewed from a psychological perspective.67 Using Hofstede’s five cultural values to describe a given culture or geographic region is a bit like flying over a country at 35,000 feet; at that height, you can’t see the details and notice nuances of difference, but you can gain a broad overview of the landscape. INDIVIDUALISTIC AND COLLECTIVISTIC CULTURAL VALUES Which of the following two sayings better characterizes your culture: “All for one and one for all” or “I did it my way”? If you chose the first one, your culture is more likely to value group or team collaboration—it is what researchers call a collectivistic culture. Collectivistic cultures champion what people do together and reward group achievement. In contrast, the “I did it my way” phrase emphasizes the importance of the individual over the group.68 A culture that celebrates individual achievement and in which individual recognition is important is an individualistic culture. collectivistic culture A culture that places a high value on collaboration, teamwork, and group achievement. individualistic culture A culture that values individual achievement and personal accomplishments. Traditionally, North Americans place a high value on individual achievements. The United States—with its Academy Awards; its reality TV shows in which contestants vie for the title of “American Idol” or try to be the lone “Survivor”; its countless sports contests; and its community awards to firefighters for dedicated service, to winners of spelling bees, to chefs for their barbecue recipes—perhaps epitomizes the individualistic culture. Hofstede summed up the American value system this way: Chief among the virtues claimed . . . is self-realization. Each person is viewed as having a unique set of talents and potentials. The translation of these potentials into actuality is considered the highest purpose to which one can devote one’s life.69 People from Asian cultures are more likely to value collective or group achievement. In a collectivistic culture, people strive to accomplish goals for the benefit of the group rather than the individual. As one communication author describes, Kenya is another country with a culture that emphasizes group or team collaboration: Nobody is an isolated individual. Rather, his [or her] uniqueness is a secondary fact. . . . In this new system, group activities are dominant, responsibility is shared and accountability is collective. . . . Because of the emphasis on collectivity, harmony and cooperation among the group tend to be emphasized more than individual function and responsibility.70 Some researchers believe that the values of individualism and collectivism are the most important values of any culture—they determine the essential nature of every other facet of how people behave.71 Other researchers, however, caution that cultures are complex and that it is dangerous to label an entire culture as individualistic or collectivistic.72 We agree—as we’ve pointed out, not everyone in a given culture fits a single label. But in trying to understand the role of culture and its effect on human communication, we believe that Hofstede’s concept of cultural values, with special emphasis on individualism and collectivism, can help to explain and predict how people may send and interpret communication.73 DECENTRALIZED AND CENTRALIZED APPROACHES TO POWER AND CULTURAL VALUES Some cultures are more comfortable with a broad distribution of power than other cultures. People from such cultures prefer a decentralized approach to power. Leadership is not vested in just one person. Decisions in a culture that values decentralized power distribution, as found in countries such as Australia and Ireland, are more likely to be made by consensus in a parliament or congress rather than by decree from a monarch or dictator. Awards for individual achievements are one indicator of how much North American cultures tend to value individualism. FOX/Getty Images Cultures that place a high value on centralized power, such as those found in Indonesia, India, and the Philippines, are more comfortable with a more structured form of government and with managerial styles that feature clear lines of authority. Hierarchical bureaucracies are common, and the general assumption is that some people will have more power, control, and influence than others. UNCERTAINTY AND CERTAINTY AND CULTURAL VALUES “Why don’t they tell me what’s going on?” exclaims an exasperated student. “I don’t know what my grades are. I don’t know what my SAT score is. I’m in a complete fog.” Many people like to know “what’s going on.” They like to avoid uncertainty and to have a general sense of what’s going to happen. Too much uncertainty makes them uncomfortable. Others tolerate more ambiguity and uncertainty. Cultures in which people need certainty to feel secure are likely to develop and enforce more rigid rules for behavior and establish more elaborate codes of conduct. People from cultures with a greater tolerance for uncertainty have more relaxed, informal expectations for others. “It will sort itself out” and “Go with the flow” are phrases that characterize their attitudes.74 Again, we remind you that although there is evidence for the existence of the general cultural value of uncertainty avoidance, not all people in a given culture or country find this cultural value equally important. There is considerable variation within a culture as to how people respond to uncertainty. MASCULINE AND FEMININE CULTURAL VALUES Some cultures emphasize traditional “male” values such as getting things done and being assertive; other cultures place greater emphasis on traditional “female” values such as building relationships and seeking peace and harmony with others. These values are not really about biological sex differences but about general assumptions that underlie the values of interacting with others. People from masculine cultures also tend to value more traditional roles for men and women. People (both men and women) from masculine cultures value achievement, heroism, material wealth, and making things happen. Men and women from feminine cultures tend to value such things as caring for the less fortunate, being sensitive toward others, and enhancing the overall quality of life.75 Later in this chapter, we will discuss how gender contributes to the development of a culture, but for now it is enough to realize that whole cultures can be typified by whether they identify with or emphasize masculine or feminine values. masculine culture A culture that values achievement, assertiveness, heroism, material wealth, and traditional male and female roles. feminine culture A culture that values being sensitive toward others and fostering harmonious personal relationships with others. We caution you once more to avoid making sweeping generalizations about every person in any cultural group. Just as there are differences between and among cultures, there are differences within a cultural group. For centuries, most countries have had masculine cultures. Men and their conquests are featured in history books and all aspects of society more than women are. But today’s cultural anthropologists see some shift in these values. There is some movement toward the middle, with greater equality between masculine and feminine roles. LONG-TERM AND SHORT-TERM TIME ORIENTATION AND CULTURAL VALUES A culture’s orientation to time falls on a continuum between long-term and short-term.76 People from a culture with a long-term orientation to time place an emphasis on the future and tend to value perseverance and thrift because these are virtues that pay off over a long period of time. A long-term time orientation also implies a greater willingness to subordinate oneself for a larger purpose, such as the good of society or the group. In contrast, a culture that tends to have a short-term time orientation values spending rather than saving (because of a focus on the immediate time rather than the future), tradition (because of the value placed on the past), and preserving face of both self and others (making sure that an individual is respected and that his or her dignity is upheld) and has an expectation that results will soon follow the actions and effort expended on a task. Short-term cultures also place a high value on social and status obligations. Table 6.2 Five Categories of Cultural Values Cultural Value Countries Where People Scored Higher on This Cultural Value Countries Where People Scored Lower on This Cultural Value Individualism: Societies with higher individualism scores generally value individual accomplishment rather than the collective or collaborative achievement valued by societies with lower scores. United States, Australia, Great Britain, Canada, Netherlands, New Zealand, Italy, Belgium, Denmark, Sweden, France Guatemala, Ecuador, Panama, Venezuela, Colombia, Indonesia, Pakistan, Costa Rica, Peru, Taiwan, South Korea Power Distribution: Societies with higher power distribution scores generally value greater power differences between people; they are generally more accepting of fewer people having authority and power than are those with lower scores on this cultural dimension. Malaysia, Guatemala, Panama, Philippines, Mexico, Venezuela, Arab countries, Ecuador, Indonesia, India Australia, Israel, Denmark, New Zealand, Ireland, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Switzerland, Great Britain Uncertainty Avoidance: Societies with higher uncertainty avoidance scores generally prefer to avoid uncertainty; they like to know what will happen next. Societies with lower scores are more comfortable with uncertainty. Greece, Portugal, Guatemala, Uruguay, Belgium, Japan, Peru, France Singapore, Jamaica, Denmark, Sweden, Hong Kong, Ireland, Great Britain, Malaysia, India, Philippines, United States Masculinity: Societies with higher masculinity scores value high achievement, men in more assertive roles, and more clearly differentiated sex roles than people with lower scores on this cultural dimension. Japan, Australia, Venezuela, Italy, Switzerland, Mexico, Ireland, Jamaica, Great Britain Sweden, Norway, Netherlands, Denmark, Costa Rica, Finland, Chile, Portugal, Thailand Orientation to Time: Societies with higher scores have a longer-term orientation to time; they tend to value perseverance and thrift. Societies with lower scores have a shorter-term orientation to time; they value the past and present, respect for tradition, saving face, and spending rather than saving. China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Japan, Vietnam, South Korea, Brazil, India, Thailand, Hungary, Singapore, Denmark, Netherlands Pakistan, Czech Republic, Nigeria, Spain, Philippines, Canada, Zimbabwe, Great Britain, United States, Portugal, New Zealand SOURCE: Adapted with permission from Geert Hofstede, Gert Jan Hofstede, and Michael Minkov, Cultures and Organizations, Software of the Mind, Third Revised Edition (New York: McGraw Hill, 2010). ISBN 0-07-166418-1 © Geert Hofstede BV. As shown in Table 6.2, cultures or societies with a long-term time orientation include many Asian cultures, such as China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Japan. Cultures with a short-term time orientation include Pakistan, the Czech Republic, Nigeria, Spain, and the Philippines. Both Canada and the United States are closer to the short-term time orientation than the long-term time orientation, which suggests an emphasis on valuing quick results from projects and greater pressure toward spending rather than saving, as well as a respect for tradition.77 RECAP Cultural Values Individualistic vs. Collectivistic • Individualistic cultures value individual accomplishments and achievement. • Collectivistic cultures value group and team collaboration. Decentralized vs. Centralized Power • Centralized power cultures value having power in the hands of a smaller number of people. • Decentralized power cultures favor more equality and a more even distribution of power in government and organizations. Uncertainty vs. Certainty • Cultures that value certainty do not like ambiguity and value feeling secure. • Cultures with a greater tolerance for uncertainty are comfortable with ambiguity and less information. Masculine vs. Feminine • Masculine cultures value achievement, assertiveness, heroism, material wealth, and more traditional sex roles. • Feminine cultures value relationships, caring for the less fortunate, overall quality of life, and less traditional distinctions between sex roles. Long-Term vs. Short-Term Orientation to Time • Cultures with a long-term orientation to time tend to be future oriented and value perseverance and thrift. • Cultures with a short-term orientation to time tend to value the past and present, respecting tradition, preserving face, and fulfilling social obligations. Barriers to Bridging Differences and Adapting to Others 6.3 Illustrate four barriers that inhibit communication between individuals. Now that we’ve paid attention to some of the ways people are different from one another, let’s identify barriers that increase the differences that exist between people. Differences, whether based in culture or gender, often breed misunderstanding, which can lead to feelings of distrust, suspicion, and even hostility. The headlines continue to chronicle the prevalence of terrorism, war, and conflict around the globe, which are due, in part, to different cultural perspectives. Is it possible to develop effective relationships with people who are different from ourselves? The answer is “Of course.” Although almost every relationship experiences some degree of conflict, most of the world’s people do not witness annihilating destruction each day. Bridging culture and gender differences is possible. To develop effective strategies to adapt to others who are different from ourselves, we’ll examine some of the barriers that often separate us from one another. Assuming Superiority One of the most powerful barriers to adapting to others is the belief that one’s own culture or gender is better than that of others. Ethnocentrism is the attitude that our own cultural approaches are superior to those of other cultures.78 Extreme ethnocentrism is the opposite of being other oriented. When fans from two rival high schools at a Friday night football game scream, “We’re number one!” they are hardly establishing high-quality communication. Competition is, of course, expected in sports; but when the mind-set of unquestioned superiority is created through cultural or religious identification, the resulting mistrust and suspicion are breeding grounds for conflict. Ethnocentrism and cultural snobbery create a barrier that inhibits rather than enhances communication. ethnocentrism The belief that one’s own cultural traditions and assumptions are superior to those of others. It would probably be impossible to avoid feeling most comfortable with our own culture and people who are like us. In fact, some degree of ethnocentrism can play a useful role in perpetuating our own cultural traditions; we form communities and groups based on common traditions, beliefs, and values. A problem occurs, however, if we become so extremely biased in favor of our own cultural traditions that we fail to recognize that people from other cultural traditions are just as comfortable with their approach to life as we are with ours. And when we mindlessly attack someone else’s cultural traditions (which may be a prelude to physical aggression), we erect communication barriers. A person who assumes superiority may also assume greater power and control over others. Conflicts are often about power—who has it and who wants more of it. Differences in power are therefore breeding grounds for mistrust and conflict. Nineteenth-century British scholar Lord Acton said that absolute power corrupts absolutely; although this may not always be the case, an ethnocentric mind-set that assumes superiority may add to the perception of assumed power over others. It’s true that there are cultural differences in attitudes toward power (whether power is centralized or decentralized), but world history documents that people who are consistently pushed and pulled and pummeled eventually revolt and seek greater equity of power. Assuming Similarity We’ve all done it. On meeting a new acquaintance, early in the conversation we usually explore what we may have in common. “Do you watch ‘The Simpsons’?” “Oh, you’re from Buckner. Do you know Mamie Smith?” The search for similarities helps us develop a common framework for communication. But even when we find a few similarities, it’s a mistake to make too many assumptions about our new friend’s attitudes and perceptions. Because of our human tendency to develop categories and use words to label our experiences, we may lump people into a common category and assume similarity where no similarity exists. Even if they appear to be like you, people do not all behave the same way.79 As an ancient Greek proverb tells us, “Every tale can be told in a different way.” Anthropologists Clyde Kluckhohn and Henry Murray suggested that every person is, in some respects, (1) like all other people, (2) like some other people, and (3) like no other people.80 Our challenge when meeting another person is to sort out how we are alike and how we are unique. Focusing on superficial factors such as appearance, clothing, and even a person’s occupation can lead to false impressions. Instead, we must take time to explore the person’s background and cultural values before we can determine what we really have in common. Our cultural worldview has a profound effect on how we describe ourselves and people in other cultures. Each of us perceives the world through our own frame of reference. We not only see the world differently, but also express those differences in the way we talk, think, and interact with others. For example, research has found that English-speaking people describe themselves and others by identifying individual personality traits (“Matt is friendly”) rather than merely describing behavior (“Matt brings snacks to the meeting”).81 If we fail to be mindful of others’ cultural values and individual worldviews, we may take communication shortcuts, use unfamiliar words, and assume that our communication will be more effective than it is. Assuming Differences Although it may seem contradictory to say so, given what we just noted about assuming similarities, another barrier that may keep you from bridging differences between yourself and someone else is to automatically assume that the other person will be different from you. It can be just as detrimental to communication to assume that someone is essentially different from you as it is to assume that someone is just like you. The fact is, human beings do share common experiences and characteristics despite their differences. So we suggest that although you don’t want to assume that everyone is just like you, it also hinders communication to assume that you have nothing in common with others. We are all members of the human family. If we don’t seek to connect with those factors that make us all human, we may miss opportunities for bridging the real differences that exist. The words communication and common resemble each other. We communicate effectively and appropriately when we can connect to others based on discovering what we hold in common. Identifying common cultural issues and similarities can also help you establish common ground with your listeners when speaking before an audience. How are we all alike? Cultural anthropologist Donald Brown has compiled a list of hundreds of “surface” universals of behavior.82 According to Brown, people in all cultures: • Have beliefs about death. • Have a childhood fear of strangers. • Have a division of labor by sex. • Experience certain emotions and feelings, such as envy, pain, jealousy, shame, and pride. • Use facial expressions to express emotions. • Experience empathy. • Value some degree of collaboration or cooperation. • Experience conflict and seek to manage or mediate conflict. Of course, not all cultures have the same beliefs about death or the same way of dividing labor according to sex, but all cultures address these issues. Communication researcher David Kale believes that the dignity and worth of other people are universal values. Therefore, he suggests that all people can identify with the struggle to enhance their own dignity and worth, although different cultures express it in different ways.83 Another common value that Kale notes is world peace. Intercultural communication scholars Larry Samovar and Richard Porter assert that there are other elements that cultures share.84 They note that people from all cultures seek physical, emotional, and psychological pleasure and seek to avoid personal harm. It’s true that each culture and each person decides what is pleasurable or painful; nonetheless, Samovar and Porter argue, all people operate somewhere on this pleasure-pain continuum. Another advocate for common human values was Oxford and Cambridge professor and widely read author C. S. Lewis. In his book The Abolition of Man, Lewis argued for the existence of universal, natural laws, which he called the Tao, that serve as benchmarks for all human values.85 Lewis identified such common values as do not murder; be honest; hold parents, elders, and ancestors with special honor; be compassionate to those who are less fortunate; keep your promises; and honor the basic human rights of others. What are the practical implications of trying to identify common human values or characteristics? If you find yourself disagreeing with another person about a particular issue, identifying a larger common value such as the value of peace and prosperity or the importance of family can help you find common ground so that the other person will at least listen to your ideas. Discovering how we are alike can provide a starting point for human understanding. Communication effectiveness is diminished when we assume that we’re all different from one another in every aspect, just as communication is hindered if we assume that we’re all alike. We’re more complicated than that. People from many different cultures similarly value close, happy families, but they may have different ideas about what makes a family close and happy. How can you discover the similarities and differences in your values when you communicate with someone from another culture? Jane September/Shutterstock Stereotyping and Prejudice Closely related to ethnocentrism and feelings of cultural and gender superiority is the barrier of making a rigid judgment against a class or type of people. All Russians like vodk

All men like to watch wrestling. All Asians are good at math. All women like to go shopping. These statements are stereotypes. They are all inaccurate. To stereotype someone is to place him or her in an inflexible, all-encompassing category. The term stereotype started out as a printing term to describe a process in which the typesetter uses the same type to print text again and again. When we stereotype, we “print” the same judgment over and over again, failing to consider the uniqueness of individuals, groups, or events. Such a “hardening of the categories” becomes a barrier to effective communication and inhibits our ability to adapt to others. stereotype To place a person or group of persons into an inflexible, all-encompassing category. Communication & ETHICS Can Stereotyping Others Ever Be a Good Idea? Reaching conclusions about someone before you get to know him or her can hinder communication and result in a dishonest relationship. Most people are taught not to be prejudiced toward others. Yet might stereotypes sometimes serve a useful purpose, especially when a quick decision is needed and you have only partial information? Imagine, for example, that you are driving your car late at night and have a flat tire in a neighborhood that’s known to have a high crime rate. While wondering what to do, you see two people who have observed your plight and are moving toward you. Do you hop out of your car and seek their help? Or do you lock your doors and be thankful that you have your cell phone to call for assistance? Could a case be made that the ability to respond stereotypically may be useful in times of stress when quick thinking is needed? We never know all the facts about a situation, and we sometimes (maybe even often) have to respond with only the partial information we have at hand. Malcolm Gladwell, author of Blink: The Power of Thinking without Thinking, describes how people often make snap decisions and argues that sometimes these “thin-sliced,” momentary decisions can be quite accurate.86 Of course, snap judgments can also sometimes be way off base. What do you think? Is it ever appropriate to hold stereotypical views of others and to make judgments about them without knowing all the facts? Why or why not? When do stereotypical evaluations hinder communication? When is it preferable to avoid stereotypical decisions? RECAP Barriers to Bridging Differences and Adapting to Others Assuming Superiority Becoming ethnocentric—assuming that one’s own culture and cultural traditions are superior to those of others Assuming Similarity Assuming that other people respond to situations as we respond; failing to acknowledge and consider differences in culture and background Assuming Differences Assuming that other people are always different from ourselves; failing to explore common values and experiences that can serve as bridges to better understanding Stereotyping and Prejudice Rigidly categorizing others and prejudging others on the basis of limited information A related barrier, prejudice, is a judgment based on the assumption that we already have all the information we need to know about a person. To prejudge someone as inept, inferior, or incompetent on the basis of that person’s ethnicity, race, sexual orientation, gender, or some other factor is a corrosive practice that can raise significant barriers to effective communication. Some prejudices are widespread. Although there are more women than men in the world, one study found that even when a man and a woman held the same type of job, the man’s job was considered more prestigious than the woman’s.87 Even though it is illegal in the United States to discriminate because of a person’s gender, race, or age in offering employment or promotions, women and members of minority groups may still be discriminated against. Stereotyping and prejudice are still formidable barriers to communicating effectively with others. prejudice A judgment of someone based on an assumption that you already know relevant facts or background information about the person. Mark Twain once said, “It is discouraging to try and penetrate a mind such as yours. You ought to get out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it.” Learning how to break rigid stereotypes and overcome prejudice is an important part of the process of learning how to adapt to others. Adapting to Others Who Are Different from You 6.4 Describe six strategies that will help bridge differences between people and help them adapt to differences. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “We have to face the fact that either we, all of us, are going to die together or we are going to live together, and if we are to live together we have to talk.”88 In essence, she was saying that we need effective communication skills to overcome our differences. It is not enough just to point to the barriers we have identified and say, “Don’t do that.” Identifying the causes of misunderstanding is a good first step, but most people need more concrete advice with specific strategies to help them overcome these barriers.89 Aim for Intercultural Communication Competence To have intercultural communication competence is to be able to adapt your behavior toward another person in ways that are appropriate to the other person’s culture. As we’ve stressed, intercultural competence involves more than merely being aware of what is appropriate or being sensitive to cultural differences.90 The interculturally competent person behaves appropriately toward others. Research has found that people who are interculturally competent do these three things: (1) They prepare by doing things such as learning the language and studying cultural traditions of others, (2) they thoughtfully engage in conversations with others, and (3) they evaluate and periodically reflect on their interactions with others.91 intercultural communication competence The ability to adapt one’s behavior toward another person in ways that are appropriate to the other person’s culture. One team of intercultural communication researchers has developed a framework for describing the stages of interpersonal communication competence. Before we are able to behave appropriately toward others, we need to have knowledge about other cultures and the motivation to adapt or modify our behavior.92 This framework has six stages, progressing from least to most competent behavior.93 Stage One: Denial In this stage, a person believes that there is only one real, authentic culture: his or her own culture. The interculturally incompetent person, characterized by extreme ethnocentrism, denies that there are other ways of doing things or other ways of behaving. Stage Two: Defense In this stage, a person acknowledges the presence of other cultures but still believes that his or her culture has the best way of doing things and that other culturally based views are wrong. So the person defends his or her own culture as the best culture. Stage Three: Minimization In this stage, a person recognizes that there are other cultural perspectives but minimizes them, suggesting that there are no real differences in the way people behave and interact. He or she simply doesn’t see the nuances or the major differences reflected in culture. Stage Four: Acceptance In this stage, the person’s ethnocentrism (perception of cultural superiority) is diminished, and he or she recognizes and accepts cultural differences. Stage Five: Adaptation In this stage, intercultural competence emerges in full blossom. A person consciously seeks to adapt his or her behavior appropriately in response to cultural differences. Stage Six: Integration At this highest stage of intercultural competence, a person moves freely in and out of his or her own cultural mind-set while adapting to others. The person skillfully modifies his or her behavior to appropriately adapt to other cultures because the person’s focus on his or her own cultural identity is minimized; instead, the focus is on others. The first three stages of this six-stage framework reflect an ethnocentric cultural perspective, in which a person assumes that her or his own culture is superior to all other cultures. Ethnocentric people believe that their appearance (for example whether or not they have tattoos and piercings), the style of music they listen to, or the specific holidays they celebrate are superior to (rather than just different from) those of other cultures. ethnocentric cultural perspective The view that one’s own culture is superior to all other cultures. The last three stages of cultural competence reflect a more ethnorelative cultural perspective. This perspective requires an appreciation for and sensitivity to cultural differences; one’s own cultural perspective is not viewed as always superior to other cultural perspectives.94 An ethnorelative person understands that there are wide ranges of perceptions about what is stylish or beautiful, that other people listen to a variety of musical genres, and that holidays other people celebrate may be different from theirs. You need not abandon your own preferences, tastes, and cultural traditions; but it is important to acknowledge that other people act, speak, and think in ways that are different from—and just as good as—your own ways. ethnorelative cultural perspective An appreciation for and sensitivity to cultural differences. To become competent at any task, you need three things: knowledge, motivation, and skill. The remaining portion of this chapter presents the following specific strategies to help you develop your intercultural communication competence:95 To increase your knowledge about others, • Seek information about a culture. • Ask questions and listen to the responses. To motivate yourself to adapt when communicating with others who are different from you, • Be patient. • Strive to tolerate ambiguity and uncertainty. • Become mindful of differences. To develop your communication skill set, • Become other oriented. • Learn appropriate ways to adapt your communication. A good way to understand people from other cultures is to learn all you can about their culture. If you were planning a visit to another country, how would you find out about its culture and people? Image Source/Getty Images Seek Information Philosopher André Gide said, “Understanding is the beginning of approving.” Prejudice often is the result of ignorance. Learning about another person’s values, beliefs, and culture can help you understand that person’s messages and their meaning. Researchers have found, not surprisingly, that if you have increased contact and experience interacting with someone from another culture, you will be more sensitive, mindful, and other oriented when communicating with that person.96 The more you know about someone and can comfortably anticipate how he or she will respond, the more interculturally competent you are likely to be. As you speak to a person from another culture, think of yourself as a detective, watching for implied, often unspoken messages that provide information about the values, norms, roles, and rules of that person’s culture. You can also prepare yourself by studying other cultures. If you are going to another country, start by reading a travel guide or another general overview of the culture. You may then want to learn more detailed information by studying the history, art, or geography of the culture. The Internet offers a wealth of information about the cultures and traditions of others. In addition, talk to people from other cultures. If you are trying to communicate with someone closer to home who is from a different background, you can learn about the music, food, and other aspects of the culture. Given the inextricable link between language and culture, the more skilled you become at speaking another language, the better you will understand the traditions and customs of the culture where it is spoken.97 Ask Questions and Listen Communication, through the give-and-take process of listening, talking, and asking questions, helps reduce the uncertainty present in any relationship. When you meet people for the first time, you are typically not certain about their likes and dislikes, including whether they like or dislike you. When you communicate with a person from another culture or co-culture, the uncertainty level escalates. When you talk with people who are different from you, you may feel some discomfort and uncertainty. This is normal. We are more comfortable talking with people we know and who are like us. However, as you begin to talk with this person, you exchange information that helps you develop greater understanding. If you continue to ask questions, eventually you will feel less anxiety and uncertainty. You will be more able to predict how the person will behave. When you meet a person who is different from you, ask thoughtful questions and then pause to listen.98 This is a simple technique for gathering information and confirming the accuracy of your expectations and assumptions. Just asking questions and sharing information about yourself is not sufficient to remove communication barriers and bridge differences in culture and background, but it is a good beginning. The skills of stopping (focusing on the message of the other person), looking (observing nonverbal cues), and listening (noting both details and major ideas) that we presented in Chapter 5 will serve you well in enhancing communication with people from cultural traditions different from your own. Tolerate Ambiguity Many people become uncomfortable when faced with uncertainty and ambiguity—especially if they are from a low-context culture such as those in North America. As we discussed earlier in the chapter, people from low-context cultures prefer a more direct approach to getting information. North Americans, for example, often say things like “Tell it to me straight,” “Don’t beat around the bush,” or “Just tell me what you want.” Communicating with someone from a culture that does not value such directness produces uncertainty. It may take time and several exchanges to clarify a message. If you are from a cultural tradition that values certainty and you are uncomfortable with uncertainty, you may have to acknowledge the cultural difference. Be patient and work at tolerating more ambiguity. Don’t be in a hurry to have all the details nailed down. Remind yourself that the other person does not have the same attitudes about knowing the future or appreciating details. Develop Mindfulness To be mindful is to be aware of how you communicate with others. A mindful communicator puts into practice the first communication principle presented in this book: Be aware of your communication with yourself and others. To be a mindful communicator, you should constantly remind yourself that other people are not like you. Also, you should be aware that other people do not use different communication strategies to offend or to be rude; they just have different culturally based strategies of interacting with others. Intercultural communication scholars William Gudykunst and Young Kim suggest that being mindful is one of the best ways to approach any new cultural encounter.99 Mindfulness is a conscious state of mind, a realization of what is happening to you at a given moment. If you are not mindful, you are oblivious to the world around you. You are on mental cruise control.100 mindful Aware of what you are doing and how you are communicating with others. How can you cultivate the skill of being mindful? You can become more mindful through self-talk, something discussed earlier in the book. Self-talk consists of messages you tell yourself to help you manage your discomfort, emotions, or negative thoughts about situations. For example, acknowledging cultural differences through self-talk, rather than emotionally and mindlessly becoming offended, can help you maintain your composure and communicate in a manner appropriate to the circumstances. There is also evidence that mindfully reflecting on different cultural experiences that you have can also improve your intercultural competence.101 Consider keeping a journal of your thoughts and reactions to cultural differences you experience as a tool to help you reflect. self-talk Inner speech; communication with the self; the process of mentally verbalizing messages that help a person become more aware or mindful of how he or she is processing information and reacting to life situations. Become Other Oriented Other-oriented communication is communication in which we take into account the needs, motives, desires, and goals of our communication partners while still maintaining our own integrity. Most of us are egocentric—focused on ourselves.102 Our first inclination is to focus on meeting our own needs before addressing the needs of others.103 Scholars of evolution might argue that our tendency to look out for number one is what ensures the continuation of the human race. But as we noted earlier, assuming superiority is a major barrier to communicating with others. If we focus exclusively on ourselves, it is very unlikely that we will be effective communicators. other-oriented communication Communication in which we focus on the needs and concerns of others while maintaining our personal integrity; achieved through the processes of socially decentering and being empathic. egocentric Focused on oneself and one’s importance. We should consider the thoughts and feelings of others when forming messages and selecting the time and place to deliver them. If we fail to adapt our message to listeners, especially listeners who are different from us (and isn’t everyone different from you?), it is less likely that we will achieve our communication goal. As we noted earlier, adapting messages to others doesn’t mean that we tell others only what they want to hear. That would be unethical, manipulative, and ineffective. Nor does being considerate of others mean we abandon all concern for our own interests. How do you become other oriented? We suggest a two-stage process, using skills discussed previously. The first stage, which we previewed in Chapter 5, is called social decentering—consciously thinking about another’s thoughts and feelings. The second stage is developing empathy, a set of skills we also discussed in Chapter 5. To empathize is to respond emotionally to another’s feelings and actions. We’ll discuss each of these two stages in more detail. SOCIAL DECENTERING Social decentering is a cognitive process through which we take into consideration another person’s thoughts, values, background, and perspectives. It is seeing the world from the other person’s point of view. To socially decenter is not to be a mind reader but to use past experiences and the ability to interpret the clues of others to understand what they may be thinking or how they may be perceiving issues or situations. According to Mark Redmond, a scholar who has extensively studied the process of social decentering, there are three ways to socially decenter.104 social decentering A cognitive process through which we take into account another person’s thoughts, values, background, and perspectives. 1. Consider how you have responded in the past. Develop an understanding of the other person based on how you have responded when something similar has happened to you.105 For example, when someone you know says that he or she feels frazzled because he or she was late for a major meeting, you can think about what would be going through your mind if the same thing happened to you. 2. Consider how the other person has responded in the past. Base your understanding of what another person might be thinking on your knowledge of how that person has responded in similar situations. In communicating with someone who is different from you, the more direct experience you have interacting with that person, the better able you usually are to make predictions about how that person will react and respond. For example, suppose that you have never known a particular friend to be late for a meeting; you know that this friend is generally punctual. You can therefore guess that your friend would be quite frustrated by being late for a meeting. 3. Consider how most people respond to similar situations. The more you can learn about others’ cultural or gender perspectives, the more accurate you can become in socially decentering. If your friend is from Germany and you have some general idea of the high value many Germans place on punctuality, your ideas about how most German people would react to being late for a meeting might help you understand how your friend feels. It is important, however, not to develop inaccurate, inflexible stereotypes and labels for others or to base your perceptions of others only on generalizations. DEVELOPING EMPATHY Socially decentering involves attempting to understand what another person may be thinking. Developing empathy, a second strategy for becoming other oriented, is feeling the emotional reaction that the other person may be experiencing. When we feel empathy, we feel what another person feels. empathy An emotional reaction that is similar to the reaction being experienced by another person. Empathy is also different from sympathy. When you sympathize, you acknowledge someone’s feelings or let the person know that you recognize the way he or she feels. When you empathize, however, you experience an emotional reaction that is similar to the other person’s; as much as possible, you strive to feel what he or she feels. Emotional intelligence, which includes accurately assessing the emotions of others, is essential to both sympathy and empathy, which in turn help us establish high-quality relationships with others, especially when there are cultural differences.106 sympathy An acknowledgment that someone is feeling a certain emotion, often grief; compassion. As we discussed in Chapter 5, you develop the ability to empathize by being sensitive to your own feelings, assessing how you feel during certain situations, and then projecting those feelings onto others.107 The late author and theologian Henri J. M. Nouwen suggested that empathy lies at the heart of enhancing the quality of our relationships with others. As Nouwen phrased it, to bridge our differences, we need to “cross the road for one another”: We become neighbors when we are willing to cross the road for one another. There is so much separation and segregation: between black people and white people, between gay people and straight people, between young people and old people, between sick people and healthy people, between prisoners and free people, between Jews and Gentiles, Muslims and Christians, Protestants and Catholics, Greek Catholics and Latin Catholics. There is a lot of road crossing to do. We are all very busy in our own circles. We have our own people to go to and our own affairs to take care of. But if we could cross the road once in a while and pay attention to what is happening on the other side, we might indeed become neighbors.108 RECAP How to Become Other Oriented Socially Decenter View the world from another person’s point of view. • Develop an understanding of someone based on your own past experiences. • Consider what someone may be thinking, based on your previous association with the person. • Consider how most people respond to the situation at hand. Develop Empathy Consider what another person may be feeling. • Stop: Avoid focusing only on your own ideas or emotions. • Look: Determine the emotional meaning of messages by observing nonverbal messages. • Listen: Focus on what the other person says. • Imagine: Consider how you would feel in a similar situation. • Paraphrase: Summarize your understanding of the other person’s thoughts and feelings. Ethically Adapt to Others After you have thought about how you may be different from others and have identified your own potential barriers to communication, you reach this question: So now what do you do? What you do is appropriately and ethically adapt. To adapt is to adjust your behavior in response to the other person or people you are communicating with. Adapting to others gets to the bottom line of this chapter. You don’t just keep communicating in the same way you always did. Instead, make an effort to change how you communicate, to enhance the quality of communication. Whether you are in an interpersonal interaction, a group, or a presentational speaking situation, adapting your message to others makes common sense. Even so, being sensitive to others and wisely adapting behaviors to others are often not common. adapt To adjust behavior in response to someone else. Adapting to others does not mean that you do or say only what others expect or that your primary goal in life is always to please others. You don’t have to abandon your own ethical principles and positions. In fact, it would be unethical to change your opinions and point of view just to avoid conflict and keep the peace—like a politician who tells audiences only what they want to hear.109 As President Harry Truman said, “I wonder how far Moses would have gone if he’d taken a poll in Egypt?”110 When we encourage you to adapt your messages to others, we are not recommending that you become a spineless jellyfish. We are suggesting that you be sensitive and mindful of how your comments may be received by others. Today’s technology can help you adapt your communication. Your phone can translate your words or show a map when you don’t speak the local language, for example. But you must still be aware of what adaptations are appropriate and ethical. Image Source/Getty Images We do not advocate adapting communication in any way that is false or manipulative. You have a responsibility to ethically adapt your messages to others. To be ethical is to be truthful and honest while also observing the rights of others. Ethical communication is responsible, honest, and fair; enhances human dignity; and maintains listener options rather than coerces or forces someone to behave against his or her will. Ideally, both (or all) parties’ goals are met. We adapt messages to others for several reasons: to enhance their understanding of the message, to help us achieve the goal or intended effect of our communication, to ensure that we are ethical in our communication with others, and to establish and develop satisfying relationships. Your goal can help you choose from among the following adaptation strategies. To . . . You may need to . . . Enhance understanding • Slow down or speed up your normal rate of speech. • Use more examples. • Speak in a very structured, organized way. Meet your own communication goals • Use evidence that is most valuable to your listener; statistics may prove your point to some listeners, but others may be more moved by a story that poignantly illustrates your point. Ensure ethical communication • Give your partner choices and identify options rather than coercing the person or making demands. • Tell the truth, without withholding information. Establish and develop relationships • Use communication that generates positive feelings. • Clearly demonstrate your regard for others. It is not possible to prescribe how to adapt to others in all situations, but you can draw on the other four Communication Principles for a Lifetime presented in this book: 1. Be aware of your communication with yourself and others. You will be more effective in adapting to others if you are aware of your own cultural traditions and gender-related behavior and how they are different from those of other people. 2. Effectively use and interpret verbal messages. To be able to interpret spoken information accurately is a linchpin of competence in adapting to others. 3. Effectively use and interpret nonverbal messages. Being able to “listen with your eyes” to unspoken messages will increase your ability to adapt and respond to others. 4. Listen and respond to others thoughtfully. The essential skills of listening and responding to others are key competencies in being able to adapt to others—to be oriented toward others. Can the skills and principles we have suggested here make a difference in your ability to communicate with others? The answer is a resounding “yes.”111 Several research studies document the importance and value of skillfully being able to adapt your communication behavior.112 Communication researcher Lori Carrell found, for example, that students who had been exposed to lessons in empathy as part of their study of interpersonal and intercultural communication improved their ability to empathize with others.113 There is also evidence that if you master these principles and skills, you will be rewarded with greater ability to communicate with others who are different from you—which means everyone.114 RECAP Adapting to Others Develop Knowledge Seek Information Learn about a culture’s worldview. Ask Questions and Listen Reduce uncertainty by asking for clarification and listening to the answer. Develop Motivation Tolerate Ambiguity Take your time and expect some uncertainty. Develop Mindfulness Be consciously aware of cultural differences rather than ignoring the differences. Develop Skill Become Other Oriented Put yourself in the other person’s mental and emotional frame of mind; socially decenter and develop empathy. Adapt to Others Listen and respond appropriately. STUDY GUIDE: Review, Apply, and Assess Your Knowledge and Skill Review Your Knowledge Understanding Diversity 6.1 Describe how differences of gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, and age influence communication. Human differences result in the potential for misunderstanding and miscommunication. Differences in gender, sexual orientation, age, and ethnicity contribute to the challenges of communicating with others. To overcome these challenges, you must employ Communication Principle Five: Effective communicators appropriately adapt their messages to others. Culture and Communication 6.2 Define culture, and compare and contrast cultural contexts and cultural values. Culture is a system of knowledge that is shared by a group of people. Because of the powerful role culture plays in influencing our values, culture and communication are clearly linked. Cultural values reflect how individuals regard stereotypically masculine perspectives (such as achieving results and being productive) and stereotypically feminine perspectives (such as consideration for relationships), their tolerance of uncertainty or preference for certainty, their preference for centralized or decentralized power structures, the value they place on individual or collective accomplishment, and their long-term or short-term orientation to time. Barriers to Bridging Differences and Adapting to Others 6.3 Illustrate four barriers that inhibit communication between individuals. By doing the following, we create barriers that inhibit our communication with others: • Assuming superiority. When one culture or gender assumes superiority or is ethnocentric, communication problems often occur. • Assuming similarity. It is not productive when individuals or groups from different backgrounds or cultures assume that others behave with responses similar to their own. • Assuming differences. Don’t automatically assume that other people are different from you. • Stereotyping and being prejudice. We stereotype by placing a group or person into an inflexible, all-encompassing category. Stereotyping and prejudice can keep us from acknowledging others as unique individuals and therefore can hamper effective, open, and honest communication. Adapting to Others Who Are Different from You 6.4 Describe six strategies that will help bridge differences between people and help them adapt to differences. You develop intercultural communication competence when you are able to adapt your behavior toward another person in ways that are appropriate to the other person’s culture. Specific strategies for becoming interculturally competent include the following: • Seek information. • Ask questions and listen. • Tolerate ambiguity. • Be mindful. • Become other oriented by socially decentering and empathizing with others. • Appropriately and ethically adapt your communication to others