Week 10 Final Project

Running Head: Family Interview

Comparison of Structural Family Therapy and Solution-Focused Therapy

Introduction to Marriage, Couple, and Family Counseling

COUN-6201F-3

February 8, 2015

Family Profile

The family I interviewed is the Smith and Brooks family. This family consists of Jason Smith a 22 year old African American male, his girlfriend Carly Brooks a 22 year old Native American/Caucasian female, their five month old daughter Ellie Smith, who live with Carly’s parents Cherly Brooks a 47 year old Native American/Caucasian female and Joe Brooks a 56 year old Caucasian male. Jason and Carly were best friends for four years before they started dating two years ago and Cherly and Joe have been married for 24 years. This family also have two cats (Pepper and Posy), a dog (May), and a horse (Ava Rain). Although this family is somewhat diverse, how they relate with one another is uniquely special. Based on my observations during the interview, this family truly enjoys each other’s company, being around each other and spending quality time.

Significant Changes in the Family

Within the past two years there have been some significant changes within the family dynamics. One of the significant changes is that almost two years ago Cherly’s mother (Carmen) past away. According to the family Carmen was the glue of the family. She was someone who could make any conflicts in the family disappear as quickly as it begun, as well as having the ability to put a smile on anyone’s face regardless of their mood. When Carmen got sick, it took a toll on the family and caused a bit of stress due to the uncertainty of her health. Carmen spent a week in the hospital before she was moved back home (against the wishes of certain family members), where within a couple of days she passed away peacefully in her sleep in the comforts of her own bed. Another significant change for the family was when Cherly and Joe’s daughter started dating Jason, Carly’s pregnancy, and Jason moving in. When Jason and Carly started dating, Cherly and Joe were not too happy with their daughter dating someone who was African American. Carly had no biases about who she dated and had her share of boyfriends who were of different races, which displeased her parents. Jason and Carly have been friends for five years before they decided to date each other. Because Carly’s parents already knew Jason from his friendship with their daughter, and already had love and respect for him, as well as knowing what type of person he was, they accepted the relationship and welcomed Jason into their family. After a year of Jason and Carly dating, she became pregnant. Telling her parents about the pregnancy was one of the most difficult things she ever had to tell her parents, but to Carly’s surprise her parents welcomed the news, and of all people her father suggested that Jason move into their home to be closer to Carly for support and helping her out with the pregnancy. Jason was welcomed into the home and is treated like a son.

Smith/Brooks Typical Day

The typical day for this family is much like other families where the individuals in the household leave the home for work. Jason is a supervisor in the produce department of their local supermarket and has been working for the same store for over 5 years. He leaves the house about 6:30 AM and works until 3:30 PM. Since Carly is a new mother, as for now she stays home with Ellie. She feels strongly against putting her daughter in daycare and letting someone else raise her child based on her own experiences as a daycare teacher and viewed how long the children remained at the school due to the work hours of the parents. Cherly is a Special Education teacher and works with various grades and age groups and has been working for the county school department for over twenty years. She leaves the house around 8:00 Am and arrives home around 3 PM. Lastly, Joe is a refrigeration technician and has been with the same company for 30 years. Joe typically leaves the house around 5 AM, specifically when his job takes him throughout his state of residence. Joe’s job also takes him throughout the country to various businesses in need of his services. Depending on how far his job takes him, Joe is typically home about 4 PM. Once everyone has made it home for the evening, the family has dinner together, and when finished they get prepare for the next day.

How Decisions are made in the Family

Most decisions within this family are made together, with the exception of financial decisions. This family discusses everything to make decisions, and although Jason is not a biological member of the family, he is also included in the decision making process. One example of a family decision, which was a major decision to be made was the decision that Joe and Cherly made to sell their home of 23 years. Although the decision is really for Joe and Cherly to make, they included Carly and Jason in that process since it affects them as well. They made the decision to purchase a new house that was bigger and that would accommodate everyone better. They planned on buying a home that was big enough so that Jason, Carly, and Ellie would basically have their side of the house and Joe and Cherly would have their side, as well as making sure that Ellie had her own room.

Things done as a Family

As a family, the Smith/Brooks go camping quite often at least once per month April to November (weather permitting). Camping is the main activity they do as a family, as well as fishing when on the camp site. Everyone goes on these camping trips including May (the dog). Another activity they do as a family is go to the barn and visit Ava Rain. What makes this family activity so special is that Ava Rain was a rescue horse. When they got her she was underweight, malnutrition, and was abused. Because of the love and attention from the family, Ava Rain has come a long way. She is now at a healthy weight, trained, and does tricks. Ava Rain has also developed a special bond with Ellie that is somewhat protective. The other activity the family does together is going out to dinner once per week. They enjoy this because it gives them the opportunity to relax and enjoy conversations about their day. Since Jason and Carly are young new parents, to keep their relationship fresh, Cherly watches Ellie so the young couple can go out and have some time alone, additionally, Jason and Carly take Ellie out with them. They enjoy taking Ellie to see Jason’s mother so she can spend some quality time with her other grandmother. Additionally, Joe and Cherly go out to dinner alone, as well as take trips together to places like Virginia Beach and Myrtle Beach. Although this family enjoys their time together, they realize how important it is to have their space to keep the harmony in the home.

Individual/Shared Interest

With this family, they have both individual and shared interest. Jason likes to play video games and watch football, while Carly likes to ride and groom her horse, Cherly likes to go to the barn, cook, and relax by the pool, and Joe likes to relax, bowl, and fish. Their shared interest are camping, traveling, relaxing by the pool, and visiting the horse. Although it is important for each member of this family to have their own individual interest, it is equally important for those interests to be supported by the other family members. These interested are supported by letting each member of the family have their time to complete those activities at their leisure.

Family Crisis

Recently Joe’s mother (Sarah) had a stroke and they were not sure she was going to make. Joe and Cherly would go to the hospital every day after work and sit with his mother for several hours. Fortunately, the stroke was not as damaging as first expected. Sarah was then moved to a rehabilitation center to help her build back up her strength and motor skills. After two weeks in the hospital and a month in rehab, Sarah was moved to an assisted living facility, but is 90% back to her normal self.

Cultural/Ethnic Influences

Ethnic backgrounds, religious connections, and other causes merge to generate a point of view that informs the method in which parents formulate decisions. The role of culture does not need to be predictable. According to Gladding (2015) “the ethnic backgrounds of families influences their concept of life cycles and their behaviors in regard to life events.” Since the Smith/Brooks family has a diverse ethnic background, they have incorporated influences from their Native American, Anglo, and African American background. This family has no specific influences in how they raised/will raise their children. Their parenting style is more about individualism. Although in most Anglo cultures, parents tend to highlight their children’s individualism, and include uniqueness, self-expression, and courage, Jason who is African American was raised the exact same way by his single mother. He was raised to follow “the beat of his own drum” and to never follow the crowd. Gladding (2015) defines culture as “all of the dimensions of diversity, including but not limited to race, ethnicity, nationality, class, gender, sexual orientation, religion, age, and ability.” Carly has adapted many of the cultures of Native Americans into who she is and how she views animals, especially the wolf, which is held in high regard and the hawk, which symbolizes the power to see clearly. Carly also uses dream catchers which are utilized to catch the bad dreams while you sleep. Multiethnic families have become more ordinary in the United States and are anticipated to grow. Thus far parenting approaches may not be influenced when parents from diverse cultures raise their children jointly. This is perhaps because partners from diverse cultures have already worked out their cultural differences so as to preserve their relationship as a couple. Inconsistencies in parenting approaches may diminish the longer a couple has worked collectively to raise their children. When parents have extensively conflicting parenting approaches, however, this can negatively persuade their children (TCALL, 2005). As with Jason and Carly, although their daughter is quite young, they have discussed how their daughter will be raised; for example, Ellie will not be spanked as a form of discipline, she will also not be sent to daycare.

Spiritual/Religious Background

The Smith/Brooks family is more spiritual than religious. Although they believe there is a higher power, they do not attend church or any other religious service. They are more about spirituality, karma, treating others how they want to be treated. Ironically, although they are not religious, they do ask for prayers when times seem tough. Gladding (2015) states that “spiritual beliefs and practices help families to cope and be resilient, as well as to find meaning and moral principles by which to live.” An example of this would be when Joe’s mother was in the hospital after having a stroke, the family was asking for their family to be kept in the prayers of family and friends.

Family Strengths

One of the main strengths of this family is communication and working through any issues. Because of the respect they have for each other, they take into consideration that they are all different with their own unique perspective on various subjects. Whenever there is an issue, they sit down and discuss it and work out a solution that will benefit everyone. Although the active listening model or validation model is a process theory that is geared typically for married couples, this family incorporates the techniques of this model in their everyday interactions by listening, paraphrasing, and empathize with the feelings of the other (Gottman, 1998). Since the family has been utilizing this technique, it has only made their relationship stronger.

Concepts Related to Wellness

Based on my interview with the Smith/Brooks family, according to the family there are no issues that interfere with their wellness. However, based on some of the information they shared, I would have to disagree, and feel that their stress may be on a subconscious level. One significant issue that can interfere with the family’s wellness and cause stress is the health issues Joe’s mother is dealing with. Wellness is defined as the active process by which individuals become conscious of, and formulate alternatives toward, a more successful way of life (Myers, 2008). It is important for individuals and families to take the necessary steps for wellness. One way this family could incorporate wellness steps; whether as a family or individually; they should do something that they enjoy and relieves stress; Joe is most relaxed when he is fishing or Carly who feels relaxed and stress free when getting a manicure and pedicure. These simple steps can be the difference between being well and mental and health issues.

Current Life Cycle

In every individual there is a comparison, which is everyone at some point in their existence is exposed to the life cycle of their family. “Family life cycle is the term used to describe developmental trends within the family over time” (Gladding, 2015). The family life cycle for the Smith/Brooks family covers stages one, six, and seven. Stage one is the trust vs. mistrust which is the first year of life and highlights satisfying essential physical and emotional needs, stage six is intimacy vs. isolation which is years eighteen through thirty-five and emphasizes on attaining intimate interpersonal relationships, and stage seven is generativity vs. stagnation which is years thirty-five through sixty-five and highlights assisting the next generation and on being useful (Gladding, 2015). In stage one Ellie is developing and learning to trust and relying on her parents to provide her with the basic needs of every child. Carly and Jason fit in stage six and are building an intimate relationship with each other and rely on Joe and Cherly which is stage seven. Joe and Cherly in this stage are helping their daughter and Jason because they are a young family starting out. According to Erikson (1968), as stated in Gladding(2015) “as individuals grow into adulthood, they are challenged and tested by new conflicts that must be mastered. These conflicts come in the form of interactions with others in the family, leisure, and work settings.” For instance, in most families there is some intergenerational ambivalence, namely the coexistence of mixed sentiments between the pressure that parents feel to help adult children and the desire to be freed from their demands and the desire of adult children to be independent and yet accept needed assistance” (Gladding, 2015). Although there are no conflicts as of yet with this family, Joe and Cherly feel the need to help Carly and Jason, but also look for their time together in the home without the young family.

Family Functioning, Styles, Patterns, and Quality

Standards of behavior are developed by families based on what they consider is and is not acceptable within the context of the family. These standards are strengthened by routine family interactions. Reinforcing certain forms of behavior is vital, such as those pertaining to physical risk (e.g., telling a child not to touch something hot). Other family behaviors may need to be modified or altered over time to meet varying family circumstances (Goldbenberg, 2004). Research signifies that families who are flexible can acclimatize to shifting family circumstances have improved relationships. Rigid families have more complicatedness in adjusting to situations that are stressful to the family and are more apt to have conflict or to cause umbrage among members of the family. Families function at varying levels of emotional health. One approach of assessing the well-being of family relationships is the Beavers Scale of Family Functioning. Families are systems of emotional connections and the Beavers scale classifies five developmental stages and models of connecting within the family. They are the Family in Pain, the Borderline Family, the Rule-Bound Family, the Adequate Family, and the Optimal Family (Goldenberg, 2004).

Of these stages, the Smith/Brooks fit into both the Adequate Family and Optimal Family, which are level two and one. These both share many of the same characteristics and symbolize the uppermost progresses in family growth. These systems both are egalitarian arrangements and the ability to listen assiduously to contributions from all members of the family. The difference between the two lies principally in a matter of scale and in their probability for proper personal encounters amongst members of a family (Goldenberg, 2004). In the Adequate Family system, rules are clear but not written in stone. Their purpose is understood as serving the best interest of individuals, which is top priority. Therefore, rules are subject to alterations when pragmatic circumstances or real-life challenges them. In the Optimal Family is able to adapt better than all previous levels to changes in family and its life cycle events. This is mainly due to a deep sense of security and trust in the emotional connection between members of the family. Essentially, the Optimal Family experiences genuine pleasure in one another’s company (Goldenberg, 2004). The Smith/Brooks family has the ability to adapt to change, as well as having the best interest of the other family members. Additionally, the family is able to work out their conflicts in a constructive way that is surrounded by respect.

References

Gladding, S. T. (2015). Family Therapy: History, Theory, and Practice. (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Pearson

Goldberg, I., Goldberg, H. (2004). Family Therapy: An Overview (6th ed.). Pacific Grove, CA: Brooks/Cole

Gottman, J. M., Coan, J. Carrere, S., & Swanson, C. (1998). Predicting marital happiness and stability from newlywed interactions. Journal of Marriage and Family, 60(1), 5–22.

Myers, J. E., & Sweeney, T. J. (2008). Wellness counseling: The evidence base for practice. Journal of Counseling & Development, 86(4), 482–493.

Texas Center for the Advancement of Literacy & Learning. (2005). Parenting Styles, Cultures, and the Classroom. 9;2

Thakar, D. (2008). Parenting Style Discrepancies: A Comparison of Inter-ethnic and Intra-ethnic Couples. University of Massachusetts, Amherst, MA