Argumentative Essay

A comma would be unnecessary in this instance.

This is a good start to your thesis, but remember that for this assignment your thesis must state a problem, propose a logical solution, and include the positive/negative ethical outcomes of the solution. You do a great job of introducing the problem at hand in your introduction, but you might consider taking some time to explain to the reader why this problem is significant to them. Why should we care? page 3 / 9 Proofed Paper: ntp212117 - Tue Apr 11 1:00:05 EDT 2017 You bring up some good points in these paragraphs, but you should consider developing your them with greater detail. Keep in mind that all of your paragraphs should be at least 5 sentences long. Try to avoid ending your paragraphs with citations.

You should always try to end your paragraphs in your own words by wrapping up your thoughts from the current paragraph, and introducing the topic of the next paragraph with a transition sentence.

A comma would be necessary in this instance.

Refer to my previous statement about ending your paragraphs with a citation. page 4 / 9 Proofed Paper: ntp212117 - Tue Apr 11 1:00:05 EDT 2017 This sentence seemed a little confusing to read, consider rephrasing it to add clarity to your point.

Did you mean to use the word ¨change¨ here?

A comma would be unnecessary in this instance. page 5 / 9 Proofed Paper: ntp212117 - Tue Apr 11 1:00:05 EDT 2017 Consider adding a sentence to this paragraph that wraps up the ideas presented in this paragraph, and gives a general introduction to the topic of the next paragraph in a natural way.

You do a great job of using plenty of citations from scholarly resources in this section of your paper, but you should consider supplementing these citations with more personal analysis in your own words. page 6 / 9 Proofed Paper: ntp212117 - Tue Apr 11 1:00:05 EDT 2017 This is a good start to your conclusion, but keep in mind your conclusion should somewhat resemble your introduction paragraph. It should summarize all the thoughts brought up in this paper, restate your thesis, and leave the reader with one last memorable statement. Make sure that you include sections in this essay that cover the ethical implications of your proposed solution and an evaluation of your sources. Both of these sections are necessary to complete this assignment. Refer to my previous statement about paragraph development. Keep in mind that all of your paragraphs should be at least 5 sentences long. page 7 / 9 Proofed Paper: ntp212117 - Tue Apr 11 1:00:05 EDT 2017 Consider reviewing the guidelines for the reference page in APA format. Make sure that you are including all of the necessary information required for each of your references. page 8 / 9 Proofed Paper: ntp212117 - Tue Apr 11 1:00:05 EDT 2017