you will have to write 300 words only and watch a video and i provide you a word file to help you. In order to complete this assignment, you must start by viewing the Vimeo vidoe entitled "This is Wat

https://youtu.be/eC7xzavzEKY 

It is not uncommon for people to use the words hearing and listening interchangeably. This is because they are often thought to be the same thing, which could not be further from the truth. Hearing is the ear’s physical reception of sound waves. Listening, on the other hand, is the brain’s reception and interpretation of surrounding stimuli. While hearing is purely concerned with auditory or verbal stimuli, listening can encompass stimuli from all five senses. For example, when you are listening with your nose, you might smell a sweet apple aroma coming from your mother’s kitchen. You would then interpret this to mean that your mother was baking apple pie. Listening, therefore, is where meaning is created. In order to understand these two functions better, let us begin with a closer look at how the hearing process works.

We just discussed that hearing is the physical phenomenon that occurs when our ears receive sound waves. This happens as a result of various parts of the ear working together not only to receive but also to transform and transmit auditory stimuli. These parts include the outer ear, the middle ear, the inner ear, and the central auditory pathways, labeled 1, 2, 3, and 4 respectively in the image below.

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The outer ear is the fleshy part of the ear that is comprised of the Pinna and external ear canal. The Pinna acts as a funnel collecting sounds and tunneling them down through this canal, which is composed of cartilage and bone, to the middle ear. At the end of the canal, the middle ear begins with the eardrum and ends with the cochlea. The eardrum is a thin membrane, known as the tympanic membrane, which acts as a barrier between this canal and the rest of the middle ear. Vibrations are created on this membrane from sound traveling through the ear canal, causing the eardrum in turn to transmit patterns via vibrations to the tensor tympani, a small muscle in the ear, and onto the malleus, the incus, and the stapes. These are three small bones that are interconnected and move simultaneously to transmit these sound vibrations to the inner ear, which is made up of one division dedicated to hearing and another dedicated to balance. The division responsible for hearing is made up of the cochlea and the auditory nerve. The vibrations transmitted from the middle ear reach the cochlea, a snail-shaped structure made of bone, where chemicals are released from tiny hair cells to be carried to the central auditory pathways along the auditory nerve. These pathways, located in the brain, work like circuits transferring signals that our brain picks up as sounds.³ When people are unable to perceive these vibrations as sounds, they are said to be suffering from deafness. There are some people who can still make out the sounds but only in moderation, which is referred to as partial deafness.

Now that we have a better idea of how the hearing process works, let’s take a look at how listening occurs.

Depending on where you look, there are different models outlining the listening process. Some contain four steps while others contain seven or eight. Despite which model you follow, they all generally have the same steps, just broken down a little differently. For the purposes of this text, we will be examining the listening process in seven steps: receipt of stimuli, filter out stimuli, focus on stimuli, grasp stimuli, remember stimuli, consider stimuli, and respond to stimuli.⁴

• Step 1: Receipt of stimuli – This is the part of the listening process where the link is made between hearing and listening. The first step, receiving stimuli, is when we actually hear the auditory stimuli that are present.

• Step 2: Filter out stimuli – During the second step of the listening process, we filter out the stimuli around us. For example, when your mother is trying to give you instructions for what to do while she is away on vacation while you are watching videos on YouTube and the radio is on in the background, your brain is filtering out the various stimuli around you.

• Step 3: Focus on stimuli – The third step of the listening process, focusing on stimuli, is when we focus in on particular stimuli around us. In the previous example, you might decide to focus in on what is being said on the radio because you are awaiting news of a big concert announcement.

• Step 4: Grasp stimuli – This is the step when we grasp messages being sent to us and give meaning to them. It would be that moment when you hear the DJ making the concert announcement, and you subsequently receive the message and interpret its meaning.

• Step 5: Remember stimuli – The fifth step to the listening process is when we remember the message that was just conveyed to us. This might seem like a rather silly step, but it is one of the most important. If we cannot remember the message that we received then the listening process is not complete, and it is as if we never heard anything at all. Sadly, this is the step that many people overlook because they are trying to take in too much information at one time, causing them to fail to remember everything they have heard.

• Step 6: Consider stimuli – When we consider the stimuli, we are at the step where we contemplate what we are to do with the message that we have received. In the case of the concert announcement, we might decide to make a mental note to check online later for event details, or we might decide to call our friends to let them know what you have heard, which leads us to the seventh and final step of the listening process.

• Step 7: Respond to stimuli – Once we have considered the stimuli and decided what course of action we are going to take, we respond accordingly. Our response might be to send a text message to our friends notifying them of the news or to post a message on Facebook. There are countless ways that we can choose to respond to stimuli. How we respond is not as important to the listening process as much as the fact that we respond to it at all.

Active and passive listening is just how we engage in listening. However, there are countless different types of listening that we partake in on any given day, including: discriminative listening, comprehension listening, critical listening, biased listening, appreciative listening, sympathetic listening, empathetic listening, and dialogic listening.⁷

• Discriminative Listening – This is the most basic type of listening that we often engage in without even realizing it. Discriminative listening is when we listen for differences in sounds and signs. For example, when we are listening to a friend talk and notice that the voice is shaky, we are able to discriminate through listening between the normal sound of the voice and the voice currently being used. Similarly, when you see that your daisy is drooping in its pot, which is a sign that it needs water, you are able to discriminate that its healthy appearance is gone due to its thirst.

• Comprehension Listening – This is the type of listening where we make sense of or understand the message being sent to us. In order to engage in this type of listening, there must be a shared understanding between you and the sender. For example, when you are in a foreign country and do not speak the language, you cannot comprehend what the people around you are saying. This type of listening is also known as content listening and informative listening.

• Critical Listening – When we listen in order to judge, criticize, or evaluate something, we are said to be engaged in critical listening. This type of listening requires a bit more work than the previous two because we are trying to take in all the information from the sender in order to form an opinion about the message. This is also known as evaluative listening.

• Biased Listening – Listening to hear what we want to hear or listening based on preconceived notions and stereotypes is known as biased listening. This is a dangerous type of listening because it allows our own prejudices and opinions to get in the way of what the message truly is.

• Appreciative Listening – When we are listening to hear information that will satisfy our own needs, isolating that information that meets our requirements, we are engaged in appreciative listening. For example, when we are listening to music to help lift our spirits after a break-up, appreciative listening is being employed, looking for those messages within the music that will meet our need to be uplifted.

• Sympathetic Listening – When we are genuinely concerned for or care about another person, we will engage in sympathetic listening. This type of listening allows us to connect to the other person in both happy and sad times and express our own emotions out of our concern.

• Empathetic Listening – This is the type of listening when we go above listening sympathetically and search for a way to understand someone else’s feelings. Empathetic listening can be extremely helpful and therapeutic because there is a great deal of sharing and understanding involved.

• Dialogic Listening – When we engage another person in conversation and exchange thoughts and ideas, we are involved in dialogic listening. This usually means that we are taking part in a dialogue, which is a discussion where issues are closely looked at and examined, and a shared understanding is reached.

Knowing how we listen and the various types of listening that we engage in is not enough to make us better communicators. For that, we must make a conscientious effort to improve our listening skills. The next section examines ten tips for good listeners to help us better utilize listening as a communicative tool and improve upon our own weaknesses.

TEN TIPS FOR GOOD LISTENING⁸

• Find something interesting in what you are listening to. It is impossible for us to be completely interested in all of the information thrown our way on a daily basis. Despite this, there is a great deal of importance in much of this information. This importance requires us to listen whether we like it or not. In order to make us more receptive of the information and, therefore, better listeners, we must try to find something interesting about whatever it is we are listening to. This is not always the easiest thing to do, but it will pay off in the long run. In order to do this successfully, try to pick out keywords from the sender that interest you and find a way to use those keywords. In doing this we are also achieving Step 5 in the listening process, remembering stimuli.

• Listen and judge based upon the content of the message—not the delivery. This is a hard one because all too often we are quick to judge people based on how they say something and not necessarily what they said. Consider all of the speeches that you have heard given in your lifetime. There were probably quite a few where the message that was being communicated was really important but the way that it was delivered might have been bad due to the speaker’s nerves or attitude at the time. This is no reason to discredit the information itself. Remember that the information and the sender are two different entities. If someone you did not particularly like was screaming that your house was on fire and it was, would you discredit the information strictly based on who was telling you it despite how much you knew it to be true? It is hard to do in some cases, but separating the message and the sender is sometimes vital.

• Make sure to listen to a message in its entirety before providing feedback. How many times have you started to make your case in an argument before the other person has even finished telling you what he or she thought? It is common for us to want to interject our own messages into a conversation before someone else has even finished because we are in such a hurry to be heard or to be finished with the conversation altogether. This can be dangerous because it shows a lack of respect for the other person, which in turn will be shown to you. Make sure that you wait until you have not only heard the entire message but also taken the time to go through the steps of the listening process. This is to make sure that the response you give is the one that you want to be heard.

• Focus on the ideas within the message. When you are in a discussion, it is not uncommon for you to look for a bigger picture or for the tone of the message. This is a bad habit because you are missing out on the details of the message that are important to its overall meaning. make sure to pick out the ideas and then an overall message and meaning can be seen.

• Practice flexibility. Although we have the ability to listen at a rate of 600 to 800 words per minute that does not mean that we actually do. Being a good listener does not mean being able to recall each and every word that someone says to you. It does, however, mean improvising and coming up with new ways to listen, perhaps by taking notes of important words and concepts.

• Listening is work, so work at it. Just like every other aspect of communication, listening takes a great deal of work to be done successfully. Do not let this discourage you from working on it because with a little practice and determination your listening skills can improve a great deal. It is imperative that you realize that this work does take time in order for it to be successful.

• Avoid giving in to the distractions around you. We are living in a highly connected world. Do not let our connections to the world at large impede you from connecting with those people and things in the present. Turning yourself off to the distractions around you can help to improve your listening skills. This also means avoiding the trappings of psychological noise, which is noise that is created internally as a result of intrapersonal communication. When you are sitting in class thinking how hungry you are, you are not able to listen to your professor and comprehend the lecture the way that you should. Focusing on the external stimuli can help you overcome this problem. Just make sure that you are focusing on the stimuli you are supposed to in the first place.

• Flex your mental muscle. Practice makes perfect so make sure to practice listening in order to improve at it. Engaging in listening every day not only helps you to better your listening skills but chances are that it will also broaden your mind intellectually.

• Open your mind and your ears will follow. This tip implies that you should avoid biased listening at all costs. When you listen with a closed mind, the smallest red flag can close off your ability to listen. By remaining open to the complete message, you will not only be more informed but you might also be surprised at what you hear. For example, when you hear the teacher mention homework, your first instinct might be to shut down your brain because you are tired or overwhelmed by your already massive homework load. By doing this, you are failing to hear that the teacher was saying that homework is not due again until after Spring Break, a whole three weeks away. Your engagement in this kind of listening impeded you from getting the full message, which wound up only hurting you in the long run.

• You have the ability to think quickly…capitalize on it! As humans, we have an innate ability to be quick thinkers. Use this ability to your advantage by quickly processing and storing the information that you listen to on a daily basis. In utilizing our brain’s speed, we will be able to listen to and process information more quickly, a talent that will undoubtedly serve you well with the right amount of practice. 

CONCLUSION

Though hearing and listening are two distinct actions, they are intrinsically tied to one another. Despite this connection, we must remember that just because we heard something does not mean that we listened to it. In order to listen we must hear, but we do not have to listen in order to hear. This point is continuously shown by those people who suffer from hearing impairments. Though they are deaf and, therefore, cannot hear, they can listen in a variety of nonverbal ways. This exemplifies why we must pay attention to all stimuli in our environment, both verbal and nonverbal, in order to be good and successful listeners.

Before we begin to talk about interpersonal communication, let us briefly discuss an even more intimate level of communication—the intrapersonal level. As we learned in Chapter 1, intrapersonal communication is the transmission of messages to create meaning within one’s self. If we are not able to communicate successfully with ourselves, it stands to reason that we would not be able to communicate well with others. For instance, if we constantly perpetuate a self-concept that is negative through the use of negative self-talk, then our attitude will most likely be negative, which will be reflected in our relationships with others. Similarly, it is often through intrapersonal messages that we plan out our day, including who we might see and the conversations we may have. If this is negative, then the day we have and the conversations we engage in will follow suit. Although it is a relatively small level of communication, its impact on the other levels can be significant in contrast. For this reason it is important that we take the time to work on our intrapersonal communication skills. By taking the time to sit and unwind and reflect on the day or plan ahead for the next day, we are improving communication with ourselves, which will ultimately spill over into our other relationships. 

In Chapter 1, we defined interpersonal communication as the exchange of messages to create meaning between at least two people. The chapter went on to say that there are two sub-levels of interpersonal communication: dyadic communication and small group communication. In this chapter we are going to be discussing dyadic communication. Small group communication will be discussed in detail in Chapter 5. 

Dyadic communication is communication that occurs between two people, or a dyad. The types of relationships that are fostered from this kind of communication include: friendship, familial, romantic, and professional.2 These relationships can be divided into two groups known as complementary relationships and symmetrical relationships. Complementary relationships occur when each member brings something to the relationship that the other person lacks. Symmetrical relationships, on the other hand, occur when both members of the relationship share highly similar qualities that in some cases mirror each other. 

The benefits of participating in interpersonal relationships are overwhelming. Mathews (1983) writes: 

There are three skills that everyone must possess in order to be successful in their interpersonal relationships. They are: empathy, openness, and flexibility. In order to understand these better, we will look at them individually to see how they aid in interpersonal communication. 

1. Empathy – When people are able to put themselves intellectually and emotionally in another person’s place, they are said to have empathy. By being able to empathize with others, you are allowing yourself to relate to them on a more personal and intimate level, which makes for the forging of a stronger bond in the long run. It is important to keep in mind that empathy is not only expressed when something sad is occurring. On the contrary, an individual can empathize with others through the entire gamut of emotions and various situations. 

2. Openness – By being open in a relationship, you are taking a calculated risk that sharing with another individual will be mutually rewarding. Although it is a gamble, the rewards outweigh any of the risks. Here, it is important to be receptive of the information that others share with you because you would not want to hurt someone’s feelings or ruin a relationship based on some close-minded idealism. 

3. Flexibility – In order to be flexible in a relationship, you must be able to communicate in a variety of ways and situations. One might think that flexibility in this case only means an individual’s ability to morph into several different communicative roles, but it goes much deeper than that. Zimmerman, Owen, and Siebert (1986) comment on this, saying: 

In addition to possessing those interpersonal communication skills, an individual needs to know how to be able to handle the inevitable conflicts, or problems that arise due to an opposition in needs or interests, in a relationship. This can be done in a variety of ways, but we will focus on the six most common ones: accommodating, compromising, avoiding, competing, collaboration, and negotiation. 

• Accommodating – This is the conflict resolution style where one person gives in to let the other person get what they want, smoothing over the conflict. While accommodating can be a successful tool when used from time to time, overuse can lead you to feel like a doormat. On the other hand, when one accommodates about something that one does not have very strong feelings about, one gain’s a bargaining chip to be used in a later conflict. 

• Compromising – When compromising is used, both parties make concessions in order to get an end result that they both can agree on to resolve the conflict. This is a very popular conflict resolution style because it is very reasonable and usually makes both parties relatively happy in the end. 

• Avoiding – This is the conflict resolution style used when an individual withdraws from a situation, refusing to deal with it altogether. Although this might have worked when you were in pre-school, attempting to resolve a conflict like this is pointless as an adult because no headway is ever really made. 

• Competing – When competing is used to resolve a conflict, one person ends up “winning” while the other person “loses.” This is not a good conflict resolution style because it ultimately ends up with one person’s feelings getting hurt. In this case “winning” in the present could mean “losing” in the long run because of the strain put on the relationship. 

• Collaboration – This is the conflict resolution style where both parties come together to agree upon conditions of a solution that meet both of their demands and needs. This is the best way to resolve conflict because no one party has to give up what they want. When people collaborate, the relationship is not only established as being mutually beneficial but it also tends to have a great deal of longevity. 

• Negotiating – When communication is used to reach a mutual agreement, negotiating is said to take place. Compromising and collaborating are both forms of negotiating. It is always best to attempt to negotiate in order to resolve a conflict as this way a greater sense of good is achieved for the relationship and the individuals in it. 

As we saw in Chapter 1, there is a number of things that can affect communication, and since relationships are built with the help of communication, it only makes sense that conflict will arise from time to time. It is important to realize that conflict does not only arise in a relationship as a result of verbal communication. Nonverbal communication can also play a major part in the evolving, cultivating, and conflict of a relationship. In order to understand the role it plays, we must examine nonverbal communication, its rules, and how it works. 

We learned in Chapter 1 that nonverbal communication is the use of facial expressions, body language, and gestures to communicate. This form of communication uses nonverbal codes, or communication codes consisting of symbols that are not words, to deliver messages from a sender to a receiver. There are six functions of nonverbal communication: accentuation, complementation, contradiction, repetition, regulation, and substitution.8 Let us look at each of these individually to get a better idea of how they work. 

• Accentuation — The first function of nonverbal communication that we will look at is accentuation. This occurs when a nonverbal code is used in conjunction with a verbal code to strengthen the message. For example, telling people you are proud of them while high-fiving them creates a much stronger message than just telling them verbally without the nonverbal code. 

• Complementation – This is what happens when nonverbal codes are added to verbal codes in order to add meaning to and expand upon both. In simple terms this is when nonverbal and verbal codes are used together to complement one another. For example, when getting off from a long day of school and work, you might say to your roommate “I’m tired.” Simultaneously, you crash onto the couch and immediately close your eyes as if to fall asleep. These two codes, the verbal and the nonverbal one, are working together and enhance one another and the overall message sent to the receiver. 

• Contradiction – When nonverbal codes conflict with verbal codes, contradiction is the result. In other words, your body is giving one message while your words deliver another one. For example, when you get in an argument with your brother over something that upset you and hurt your feelings, you might tell him that you are fine despite the fact that your body has gone rigid and your eyes look bloodshot and ready to cry. Despite your best efforts to control it, your body and your actions are telling the true story. 

• Repetition – This occurs when the same message is sent using verbal and nonverbal codes. For example, when you need something to drink, you might hold up the empty cup while saying that you are out of water, thus sending the same message two different ways. 

• Regulation – When you use nonverbal codes to monitor and control your interaction with others, this is known as regulation. Consider the earlier example of you fighting with a sibling. In order to avoid a fight, you might walk out of the room to avoid further conflict. Here, your nonverbal actions control your ability to fight further. 

• Substitution – This occurs when nonverbal codes are used in place of verbal codes. For example, when asked if you want ice cream for dessert, you might give the thumbs down signal, indicating that you do not want ice cream. This nonverbal message would, therefore, be taking the place of a verbal response. 

The functions of nonverbal communication certainly make it an invaluable communicative tool. Unfortunately, trouble can arise when people use the same nonverbal code to mean a variety of things. For example, a wink is a nonverbal code that could simply mean that you have something in your eye, that you are flirting with the person sitting across from you, or it could be a sign to a friend that everything is okay. All three of these codes could have very different and very negative effects if they are misunderstood. Similarly, some things have come to have a variety of codes to represent them. Think about how people communicate love. This could be done with physical displays of affection like holding hands, giving hugs and kisses, or sitting and standing close to the person. In order to understand this further, let us examine some different nonverbal codes and how they affect the way that we communicate. 

Kinesics is the first of the nonverbal codes that we will examine. This is the study of how bodily movements communicate messages. There are five kind of bodily movements that are the focus of kinesics. They are: 

• Emblems – These are nonverbal movements that represent a certain word or phrase. Waving your hand to say hello is an example of an emblem. Others include: raising your hand to mean that you have a question, placing your index finger in front of your mouth to mean be quiet, and fanning yourself to mean that you are hot. 

• Illustrators – These are nonverbal movements that are meant to go along with or reinforce a verbal message. Tapping your watch when you tell someone that it is time to go is an example of an illustrator. Others include: rubbing your head when you are saying that you have a headache, yawning while saying that you are tired, and holding your hand up palm out while telling someone to stop. 

• Affect displays – The use of nonverbal movements of the face and body to show emotion is known as affect displays. Frowning when you are sad and smiling when are happy are both examples of the use of affect displays. 

• Regulators – These are nonverbal movements that control the pace of communication. When you look at your watch during a class lecture, you are using a regulator to show that you are bored. Similarly, walking away from a conversation when you feel that you are done with it is also a use of a regulator. 

• Adaptors – These are nonverbal movements that are usually done in order to make you feel better and alleviate tension within your body. For example, playing with your hair when you are nervous or rubbing your head when you have a headache.