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Adams 6

John Adams

Professor John Quincy Adams

ENC 1102

3 July 2018

Fathers in Sons in Verse and Lyric

The topic of love and relationships is ever-present in our lives. Love songs can weave a moving tale of undying admiration, or love can be written into a poem that reminds us of how complete we feel when we are with that special someone. Love, however, can take many other forms. An often overlooked aspect of love is that which is shared between a father and son. This type of love may be passed over in our minds because it takes on much different aspects. The father-son relationship is often, at its core, defined through struggle. Two excellent examples of this type of love can be seen in the poem “Those Winter Sundays” by Robert Hayden and in the song “Cat’s in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin. Both works deal with the love between a father and son, and give us insight into how these relationships evolve from the hardships experienced from duty, the resulting indifference, and the revelation of underlying respect.

Robert Hayden’s poem “Those Winter Sundays” manages to encompass the evolution of the father-son relationship in fourteen lines of short lyric. In an analysis of this poem, David Peck writes, “The second word of the first line, ‘too,’ in fact, assumes actions that have gone before—that the father got up early on other days as well as Sundays to help his family.” This poem depicts that father rising “. . . in the blueblack cold . . .” (Hayden 559, line 2) to prepare for the day, his family still asleep. These actions clearly illustrate one of the themes of Hayden’s work—how fathers display love for their families by performing selfless acts of duty. A father’s acts of selflessness are often met with indifference from their sons, however. The son in this poem states of his father that “No one ever thanked him” (Hayden 559, line 5). The son also clearly addresses his apathy by stating that he “[speaks] indifferently to him, who had driven out the cold . . .” (Hayden 559, lines 10-11). A son’s indifference is a relatable experience that we all share when reflecting on the father-son relationship. As we age, we gain a worldlier perspective. At some point, sons realize that the small tasks performed by their fathers were done so out of love. Hayden’s character expresses this revelation when he reflects, “What did I know of love’s austere and lonely offices” (Hayden 559, lines 13-14). He can use the wisdom that only age can grant to reflect on his father’s sacrifice. By doing so, Hayden’s speaker rediscovers his love for his father, a love that is based on respect.

The main themes of fatherly love resurface eight years after Hayden’s poem in the form of Harry Chapin’s song “Cat’s in the Cradle.” Similarly, Chapin’s work begins with the idea of fatherly duty. The speaker in this song is the father, who states that “My child arrived just the other day, he came into the world in the usual way. But there were planes to catch and bills to pay, he learned to walk when I was away” (Chapin). In this case, the father’s duty takes the form of his absence from his son’s life; he wants to play a larger part but cannot due to his fatherly obligations. In the progression of the father-son relationship, the father’s sacrifices are again met with indifference. The son in Chapin’s song responds to his father’s interest in the relationship with the response, “What I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the keys. See you later, can I have them please?” (Chapin). This act is symbolic of the teenage years of all our lives. Love for our fathers is not openly displayed during this time and echoes the thanklessness described in Hayden’s poem. Resolution is again found in adulthood, with love that is based on respect. Later in his son’s life, the father states that “Well, he came from college just the other day, so much like a man I just had to say, ‘Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while?’” (Chapin). Chapin may also allude to this feeling of love in his last verse. The father in his song attempts to reconnect with his son after his retirement, but is declined due to his son’s work and family responsibilities. Instead of feeling frustration, Chapin’s speaker thoughtfully reflects that “As I hung up the phone it occurred to me, he’d grown up just like me. My boy was just like me” (Chapin).

We see that the love shared by a father and a son is much different than what first appears in our minds’ eye when pondering the word “love.” It can be tumultuous and rooted in internal conflict. Perhaps it may be so because it is from our fathers that we learn how to be men. Our social constructs dictate that we must be manly, reserved in our emotions. It may seem, superficially, that work is the focus of a father, preferring to busy himself with tasks rather than to focus on family relationships. The song “Cat’s in the Cradle” began as a poem by Sandy Chapin. During an interview about her work, she reflects, “The whole point of the story is that we learn our lessons in life by making mistakes, by trial and error, by experience. It would be great if we could learn about the future ahead of time, but we have to learn the hard way. It’s like the old saying—too old too soon, too wise too late” (qtd. in Grayeb). Fathers may not be perfect, but we hopefully learn from mistakes and do the best we can. The effort is what truly gives us a window into the love of a father for his son, and it is precisely this that Hayden alludes to when he gives us the line, “Sundays, too, [he worked]” (559, line 1). Although the love shared between a father and son may not be ideal, it nevertheless appears in songs and poems to remind us that it is real and strong. Through verse and lyric, writers illuminate this point by focusing on the themes that appear during the evolution of the father-son relationship: the hardships that result from duty, the resulting indifference, and the revelation of underlying respect.

Works Cited

Chapin, Harry. “Cat’s in the Cradle.” The Harry Chapin Archive, Dominion Musical Services,

2009, http://www.harrychapin.com/music.cats.shtml. Accessed 3 Jul. 2028.

Grayeb, Mike. “Behind the Song: Cat’s in the Cradle.” Circle! Inspiring Chapin Fans and

Friends to Make a Difference, Freeport Publications, 2004, http://harrychapin.com/circle/winter04/behind.htm. Accessed 3 Jul. 2028.

Hayden, Robert. “Those Winter Sundays.” The Norton Introduction to Literature, editor Kelly

J. Mays, portable 12th edition, Norton, 2017, p. 559.

Peck, David. “Those Winter Sundays.” Masterplots II: Poetry, Revised Edition, January 2002,

pp. 1-3. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=lkh&AN=103331POE2280051000308&site=lrc-plus. Accessed 3 Jul. 2028.