In Chapter 7 of your textbook and in the overview, you began to explore the helping process. Consider a time when you helped a friend or family member. Describe how your process of understanding the p

The five steps to helping someone are Preparation, when the client arrives, exploring the problem, Intervention Strategies, and ending client services. These steps are for more of a clinical point of view and most of them are hard to do in real life.

Well in real life you really can't get prepared for someone to need our help unless you know its coming. But most of the time you cant tell. I know when I needed help getting away from my ex-husband there was no preparation. We got into a big fight and he kicked me and my daughter out of the house.

Not knowing what to do I called my aunt and she stepped in to help me and my daughter. She came and helped me get mine and my daughter's things out of the house when he was at work one day. I have been living with her scents that that day and now are able to go to school full time and watch my daughter grow up in a very healthy environment.

Growing up my mom stayed home with us kids. I watched her be abused mentally and physically by my step dad. When they divorced she had not an ounce of self confidence. Somehow she managed topics up the pieces left with literately nothing and continue to provide us a future. She always put herself last.

Once I became older I always questioned her why she didn't finish her education. She said she was to old to go back excuse after excuse. Once I started to finish my education I told her she needed a career. One she could make a decent living from. She had no confidence to enroll so I did it for her. I went to her orientation etc. She finished with her phlebotomy tech license after a couple months. She said she felt like she actually did something important for herself for once.

Today she has developed so much more confidence in her self and it shows. She's mentioned a couple times why couldn't I have been older when she was going through a divorce.

I was once stuck in a rut and I knew I had the choice to stay there or build my self back. I chose to build myself and when I did I knew then I wanted to help people possibilities out there for themselves. So many people are quick to stay in their comfort zone and settle with what has been chose for them. I chose to chose my own future for me and my children.

I can think of a specific time that I helped out my brother in law with a substance abuse problem. My sister was nine months pregnant with my nephew and I just knew something was going on with my brother in law. He had a history of substance abuse but had gotten clean off and on for a few years. I noticed a drop in weight, a difference in skin tone, and a nervousness of both him and my sister when I was around. I finally got my brother in law by himself and asked him if everything was okay. At first he tried to act as if everything was fine but then after about fifteen minutes of us talking about my nephew being born and my concerns and hopes for their new family, he spilled the beans. He told me that he had relapsed 3 months prior and had gone through a majority of their savings due to his habit. Instead of being upset, which was very challenging, I asked him what he thought his next steps should be. He told me that he needed help, but he couldn't ask his grandmother for money again as she had been helping them financially since he relapsed. I asked him what he thought would be most beneficial for him and his new family. He said that getting into rehab and letting my sister completely take over finances, take control of his phone for accountability would be helpful. I then had him contact the rehab he had been to before, Charleston Recovery Center, and speak to the intake director on how they could help him get in and if they could do a payment plan or help with funding. The intake director was amazing and helped my brother in law get in the next day under a grant, with the condition that if he left the facility he would have to pay back the money. My sister ended up having my nephew while my brother in law was in treatment and they let him leave for the birth but he returned right after. I attended meetings with him regularly to show my support and got my sister in Al Anon which is a support group for family members of addicts and helps with co-dependency and enabling issues. My brother in law finished treatment after 90 days, my sister had complete control of finances and of his incoming and outgoing calls and my brother in law was able to get a job after a few months with a large corporation in Charleston, SC. I am super proud of him and thankful that I was able to support him and lead him towards the right direction for not only him, but his family. I feel that the four steps of helping are vital in personal and professional use. In professional use, you would need to be more direct but also maintain a personal feel in the relationship to gain trust. In a personal setting, you have a little more wiggle room, but the outcome should remain similar.

Stages of helping: Preparation, Arrival, Exploring the problem, Intervention strategies, and ending services.

In real life there is rarely preparation when someone come to you for help. Most of the time we all are blind sided by someone who needs are help. But none the less we still offer our help. Well most of us do, well actually I can only truly say I do. In the last few days I have experienced something I wished I have never had to. My step-ish son had a pregnancy scare with his girlfriend. Instead of coming to me for help he chose to run away with his girlfriend. Being the type of parent I am I already was aware of the pregnancy scare however I felt it was not my place to step in. I pressured his father to take action and be the parent his son needed him to be right now. My gut was telling me to keep pushing because something wasn't right with boy. Then I got the call from his bio-mom that he ran away. I was prepared for this my mama instinct already told me this was going to happen, but his father wasn't ready for this at all. Of course being the mama bear I am I gave his dad the choice to go find our boy or to go find his own house. Not my finest moment but it was very needed.

Hours later dad found our boy and wasn't very happy with him which is understandable however there was another child with him. This child had no one looking for no one caring if she was ok or not. She had no one to talk to and my amazing other half just left this child alone to fend for herself. He didn't ask her if she was ok he didn't ask her if she was or wasn't pregnant. He didn't even offer her a ride home, I ask myself how in the hell am I with this person?!?!?! But that really is the difference between a mother and a father. Men are the hunters they go for the kill and provide and protect their families.

This is what I did being the awesome mom that I am :) An hour away from where the kids were found I called my sister and had her go check on my sons girlfriend. She found her I had her bring her to me before they got to my house I already purchased pregnancy test. My boyfriend and son had no idea what I was doing, but to me there wasn't just one kid on the road that day there was two possibly three. Number three could've of been my first grandbaby and there was no way in hell I would ever leave one of my children on the road and you can bet I would never leave my grand child either.

They made it to my house and I was there alone of course she was scared to get out of the car she was terrified. She wasn't prepared and neither was I and all I could do was hug her and hold her and tell her she is not alone. She is not pregnant thankfully, however I wasn't prepared for what I was about to take in. Needless to say I'm not sure how much help I am to her my job now is to protect her. A child I met in brief passing during picking up my son from his monthly visits to his mom. Never had a conversation with her not a real one she has always been very quite. Now 5 days later she will not leave my side and was terrified of me going back to work today.

I wish this was a professional setting, I wish I could legally help her and fix all the problems in her messed up life. I know eventually I will have to hand her over to someone who is qualified and able to help her but right now I just want this child to be comfortable in her own skin again. If hugging her and brushing her hair gets her to the point that she will talk to someone then that is what I will continue to do.

Real life is very different from helping someone on a professional level. Preparation is something that can make any part of your life easier. So when helping someone else being prepared for what is about to come your way can make that experience so much more comfortable for both parties involved.