i need a tutor to read this rough draft and answer 10 questions based on what you read in the essay
How does parental pressure affect students and/or adolescents?
Growing up in a caribbean household I've experienced parental pressure which has been mentally destroying us as students or adolescents; whether or not they want to believe it’s out of love this has been affecting us in many ways. Parental pressure can have negative effects on students’ mental health and academics. Throughout this research paper I'll be able to expose different ways us students and/or adolescents have been affected through parental pressure.
In most households, before a child is even born they are already expected to be the best; the best doctors, lawyers, engineers. Like I asked my mother the meaning of my name, and she responded “I went to school with this brilliant girl named Schnaidine, she was great in math.” i was still confused, how does that define my name, she went on “she’s now a doctor”. I mean I would love to meet this unknown doctor friend of hers. This example is to show you that the pressure starts at home at a very young age.
The big question is, how is that affecting students? Parental pressure intervention and pressure may create an atmosphere where mental and addiction are more likely to occur. According to the article entitled “The Danger of Putting too Much Pressure on Kids,” by Amy Morin, LCSW, kids who feel like they’re under constant pressure can experience constant anxiety. High amounts of stress can also place children at a greater risk of developing depression or other mental conditions. I know parents don’t want to hear the effect pressure has on students or maybe they don’t understand the effect of pressure on students. As it was said by Sorte from the article “Press Releases Parental Pressure and Behavior May put Teens at Risk for Substance Used and Abuse say Experts from Caron Treatment Centers,” “while it may come as a surprise to many parents that they are the largest inf;uence of external pressure for their adolescent and young adult…” said Sorte. “Parents can wield outsized influence to impact their children through healthy dialogue about risk factors, stress and young danger of drug and alcohol use.
In many cases, parental pressure affects students academically (decision to college as well as their major). When it was time for me to apply to college, that was the most stressful moment of my life. Not just because college essays, SAT or anything a senior in high school could get stress over. I was stressed and depressed and I couldn't apply to the school I truly wanted to go to. I had my mother in Haiti telling me, becoming a doctor is what’s best for me. I had to deal with my father here convinced that going away for college is not the right thing to do. I agreed to stay home for school, but it was the moment I had a conversation with my parents, “at the end of the day, it’s about what I see myself doing for the rest of my life, I don't want to be miserable doing something I have no passion for. Please allow me to decide what I want, not what my parents would want me to be.” According to the article “Study shows that parental pressure affects students’ decisions for college,” by Jessica May, “young adults are facing the pressures of social expectations, brand influence and the prestige of college, on top of parents that are breathing down their neck”. The author also stated that “some students on college campuses are losing sight of what they want for their future and are instead of picking what they think will make their parents most proud.” So many students go to college and have no clue what they want because either future was already decided for them.
When it comes to parental pressure, we often hear this sentence “it’s out of love.” They always fantasize about their children attending the best colleges and landing a well-paying career in modern society.
Is the paper organized around the thesis? Meaning, does every paragraph or idea return to the thesis in a way that progresses their argument? Though there is only a few pages at this point, you should still be able to see how it is being organized? If not have a conversation with your partner about it.
2. Are there any sentences that are confusing? If there are, help your partner by rewriting them more clearly.
3. Does the author back up their reasoning with examples from their research? Do the examples make sense to the argument they are writing about?
4. Are these examples adequately analyzed? Do they adequately support the thesis? What are some ways they can go deeper into the analysis
5. Are there any areas that seem out of place? Are there any quotes that seem to be simply placed for no apparent reason?
6. Does the author use proper MLA format? If not please correct them directly on the paper. Remember I will be taking off points on the final if this is not done adequately in all future papers.
7. Are there any ideas that are explained too much? Are there any ideas that need to be explained more fully? (Remember if you write about something that is common knowledge you do not have to explain it fully.)
8. Proofread their paper and point out run-on sentences and fragments.
9. Ask your partner where they will be taking their paper for the next rough draft. If they are unclear have a conversation about where they could take it. Use this part as a place to bounce your ideas off one another. It will help with future assignments.
10.Finally, what have you learned through this process about writing? Is there anything positive that their paper does that yours does not? How will you incorporate this in your writing for the final paper?
