Proposal CritiqueOverviewIn this assignment, you will be rewriting and critiquing the proposal provided in the document, A Proposal Template [DOCX] attached. There are at least six improvements to be

Assignment 8: Proposal critique

Nathan Bieganski

Professor Christopher Swindell

ENG 316

9/4/2019

Proposal for Office Improvement

To: Mason Office Center Suite Manager

From: Nathan Bieganski, Green Thumb Planting Proprietor

Date: 9/4/2019

Subject: Proposal for Plant Service

Mason Office Center is a lovely Georgian building containing four offices. However, the interior is not attractive or inviting for clients and employees. The off-white walls throughout the complex seem dull and boring, adjectives the tenants do not want associated with their businesses. In addition, the air in the building is musty and unpleasant at times.

Green Thumb Planting can provide and maintain a beautiful plantscape in the building that will attract visitors and employees as well as purify the air and introduce more oxygen. Research shows that people respond positively to interiors with at least two plants per room. The attractive customized pots and green foliage add a comforting and distraction-free splash of color. These changes can be made in an unobtrusive, cost-effective manner.

Installing plantings in Mason Office Center will give visitors and employees a more appealing and cleaner environment, producing positive feelings and greater productivity. Indoor air quality will be noticeably improved by the presence of the plants we have selected.

I have been in the interior plant maintenance business for 32 years and have earned a Bachelor of Science degree in landscape design. I have owned and operated Green Thumb Planting for the last 7 years. All associates with Green Thumb Planting take pride in their work, and Green Thumb is happy to provide references. In addition, all personnel have undergone thorough background and criminal checks and are bonded. Your satisfaction with Green Thumb’s plantings and employees is guaranteed.

Within two weeks of your signing a contract, our design team will interview you and produce a plan showing installation, including the number and types of plants, color and design of containers, and placement. The team will adjust the plan according to your preference.

Furthermore, Green Thumb is concerned about the environment and thus uses only organic methods. No harmful chemicals are used in its plantscapes.

Based on Green Thumb’s design formula, the building could use 31 large and 14 medium-sized low-light plants. Green Thumb’s service agreement provides plants and pots, weekly maintenance, and monthly replacement of weak plants.

When a plan is agreed upon, Green Thumb will schedule installation within one week. Installation can be accomplished during the evening hours to avoid interrupting your tenants’ business activities. All soil and materials will be brought into the building in specially designed trolleys to prevent spillage and damage to floors. I anticipate being able to complete the job in two nights. Once the plantscape is installed, Green Thumb Planting staff will visit Mason Office Center once a week to maintain the plants.

. In addition, all personnel have undergone thorough background and criminal checks and are bonded. Your satisfaction with Green Thumb’s plantings and employees are guaranteed.

The installation cost is $980.40, and the monthly maintenance fee is $75.00 per month. You will incur no other charges to have an inviting, attractive, clean, and green environment in Mason Office Building.

Installation costs include the following:

31 large 6 braided ficus trees at $25 each $150.00

6 chamaedorea palms at $20 120.00

10 herb topiaries at $20 200.00

9 Chinese evergreens at $25 225.00

14 medium

5 moth orchids at $15 $ 75.00

9 angel ivy at $15 135.00

First month maintenance $ 75.00

SUBTOTAL $980.00

Tax 8% 78.40

TOTAL $1,058.40

For an effortless, inexpensive, attractive, and clean environment at Mason Office Center, accept Green Thumb’s proposal. Please send a memorandum of acceptance to:

Green Thumb Planting

101 Sienna Way

Ayden, NC 28513-7101.

Improvements:

The first task was addressing the spellcheck concerns. I choose to leave the potential error of “plantscapes” in the text. While spellcheck might not recognize it as a valid word, it is likely an industry term and frequently used to describe the finished product.

The first actual change I made was to the title of the proposal. The original title was likely a placeholder that was never updated to a proper title. I also replaced the empty places in the introduction with the “to” and “from” information.

The second change was separating the problem and solution into two separate headers. I created a new collapsible header and moved the solution into its own section. I did this because it seemed like there was enough information to create two separate sections.

For my third improvement, I added information to the objectives about the improvement of air quality that plants bring. This was alluded to within problems section and mentioning it as an objective of the solution is a logical step.

The fourth improvement was to merge the background and qualifications sections. They both contained similar information about the owner and the employees. Merging them was an easy way to reduce redundancy and improve brevity within the proposal.

The fifth improvement was correcting some factual errors within the budget totals. The stated total for installation charges did not match the stated total at the end of the itemized list that followed it. I corrected the dollar amounts and also included the first month’s maintenance costs in the itemized list. All of this required me to re-calculate the tax and final total to provide the client with an accurate price estimation in the proposal.

The last improvement where some general grammar corrections and nitpicking on the terms used. I changed written numbers to numerals and added conjunctions where needed in the budget and conclusion paragraphs. I also re-arranged the address information included in the conclusion to match the expected layout for an address in the United States.

Possible Solution to Your Turn 15

Proposals

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