Do the peer critique of attached file named Chen zhao the attached file named idea pitch critique is the sample.

March 06, 2022

Peer Critique Score Sheet for the Business Pitch

	Needs Improvement 1	Average 2	Excellent 3	Rating
Construct a succinct statement indicating the product or service and its purpose	Presenter’s thoughts were not very well organized, and the pitch was not easy to follow.	Presenter’s pitch was organized and not too difficult to follow, but it was not convincing	There was a clear message that was memorable, and the presenter was engaging,	2
Identifies the consumer need	Presenter did not clearly explain the consumer need	Presenter did discuss this but at times it was not entirely clear or believable	The consumer need was clear and compelling	2
Statement includes demographic and psychographic information	Presenter’s given data were not very accurate	Presenter’s given the data in support of statement but was not entirely convincing	The statement is clear, and data is easily achievable	1
Indicates the target market(s)	The target market was not defined and or too limiting or too general	The target market was identified but I am not sure most people would agree with this	The target market was identified and clear	2
identifies business viability from social and financial perspective	Presenter was not able to identify the social benefits or the financial advantages of the business	The social and financial benefits were identified but not supported with evidence	The social and financial benefits of the business are very clear and viable	2
Provides convincing evidence of the potential for business growth	Presenter did not provide ample evidence of the potential for business growth	The presenter did address business growth, but the evidence was not totally convincing	There is clear evidence that business growth is likely	2
Demonstrate good organization, including a strong introduction and conclusion	There was no memorable statement	Overall, the content of the pitch was good, but the delivery needs to be changed to be more memorable	The pitch was engaging, well-organized, and easy to follow.	1

TOTAL				12

Observation of a pitch statement

Based on the Critique Score Sheet, we assign an overall score of 12. After analyzing the entire pitch, I believe that most of the sections need to be improved. To begin, I believe the presenter's ideas were disorganized, and the pitch was tough to understand. They are providing the same product in an affordable price “which will be profitable for the company as we are mainly targeting on the kids, teenagers and adults and many people cannot afford brands”. However, they went on to say, “that opening a new business of manufacturing shoes from the recycled materials is not that feasible”. So, the statement is a little difficult to understand. Instead of listing each description in each paragraph, I believe she should properly define the product or service and provide all key details. That is why, in the first point, we assign them a score of two.

In the entire pitch, she did not mention any financial figures. The only thing she stated was that " we sell it at $89.90 but the cost of one shoe including transportation varies from $34 - $40 per shoe, so we do make more than 50% of the profit margin per shoe," I don't think someone is going to spend $89.90 on products when they can get a lot of them on same price because majority of the average shoe prices is same in many platforms. we don't see any financial benefits. Overall, what we believe is they are correct theoretically but when it comes in practically, it becomes hard to convince on their data given based on their revenue. They should provide proper revenue and gross margin information, as well as additional information.

She did not provide enough proof of the company's development potential. They support their future growth potential by become environmentally friendly which is easy to understand but when it comes to company’s future, I don’t even understand the scope of her company's expansion potential. Yes, they can work on sports products it seems like they have shifted the trend of their target market from age bias to sprots category. Basically, they need to conduct research and find more relevant facts to analyze the market's potential for growth. Apart from that, I don't think there was a memorable statement. Because I believe their ideas are disorganized and her pitch is hard to understand. I believe they could make this much better. So that the reader can understand it better.

Recommendations

I think she should start the pitch with a simple greeting followed by a catchy tagline to grab the interest of the investors. Then continue by describing the scope with comparison from other companies like Nike. Moreover, they need to use the relevant figures and statistics to convince investors in evidence of company’s future. People are also spending a lot of time in stores looking for a certain item. After that describe the solution to the problem and explain clearly how the concept works. Must consider some real-life solutions like how customers may contact your company, such as via an app or a phone call. Then state how you'll deliver the products to them. Also, Explain the solid plan to generate revenue and target market. And mention the plan to expand. For example, collaborating with shoes companies or partnering with local or big firms to provide additional services to the customers.

Activity/Competencies Demonstrated	% of Final Grade
Content
a. Construct a succinct statement indicating the product or service and its purpose	10/15
b. Identifies the consumer need	14/15
c. Statement includes demographic and psychographic information	13/15
d. Indicates the target market(s)	12/15
e. identifies business viability from social and financial perspective f. Provides convincing evidence of the potential for business growth g. Demonstrate good organization, including a strong introduction and conclusion	11/15 10/15 9/20
Total	79/100

Conclusion

In conclusion, I have seen a great group work. There are few financial figures which makes it difficult to understand. Theoretically they have explained very well and have seen a good effort for relating the data but when it comes to practically, we need more graphical or some accurate data. Thesis statement is fine but in conclusion, whole thing starts going differently like in whole report they mentioned about the needs as per the age of the shoes. But at the end, they shift their target market to sports market which we seem like the biggest flaw of the report.