wp2------ Analysis - Rhetorical Analysis------at least 1000 words
Mandy Brocklehurst
Professor Burbage
ENG 111 82N
15 February 2015
Cover Letter
Dear Professor Burbage,
I am writing this cover letter to notify you of changes I have made to my final draft of Writing Project 2, Rhetorical Analysis. I received peer feedback from Loretta Cornhill and she addressed that I should shorten my introduction to really “drive home” my thesis statement. Loretta also mentioned that I should reword my second to last sentence of my conclusion as she stated that it read “awkwardly”. I have reviewed my paper and have decide to make a couple of changes.
Personally, I feel that my introduction wasn’t too long. I wanted to start out discussing the importance of the issue by telling my audience that even President Obama has addressed the issue of environment sustainability, which led into my thesis statement that Leyla Acaroglu aims to educate and inspire her audience to think about the factors that contribute to climate change and what the world population can do to decrease the effects of it. I didn’t actually make any changes to the introduction that Loretta suggested because I feel that what led into the thesis statement was used for additional backup to support my thesis statement. I did add a couple examples of products that Acaroglu addresses in my introduction to make my thesis a little stronger, based off of feedback from you. I am not sure that this is what you were looking for, but it was my understanding of what you said.
I did word the second to last sentence of my conclusion differently because, as Loretta stated, it did read awkwardly, and I could see how it could be cause some confusion. I think I felt rushed as the assignment neared its deadline and I didn’t have enough time to go back over my paper.
I read through section 8 of chapter 8 again for revision. I asked myself the questions the textbook offers and feel that I did address and answer each question with the use of supportive citations that do reflect Acaroglu’s purpose. I also reworded some sentences to make them flow more fluidly. As far as voice in my paper is concerned, I feel like the voice I use appropriately expresses the urgency that Leyla Acaroglu’s words need to be heard to make changes in our choices and environment. With that being said, I hope you agree.
Sincerely,
Mandy Brocklehurst
Environmental Sustainability: A Global Concern
Environment sustainability is a well know topic these days. Many political figures, including our current President, Barack Obama, have addressed the issues of the rising levels of pollution, the increasing level of greenhouse gas emissions, “fracking”, and many other environmental “carcinogens” that take a toll on the world around us, as well as the alarming and devastating results of these practices globally. It is such a popular topic that ignoring what is right under our noses is becoming considerably harder to do. So, it really comes as no surprise that someone like Leyla Acaroglu, multiple award-winning educator and sustainable design strategist, would take this opportunity to educate people on the effects of these globally damaging factors and also make the general masses think deeper about their own personal effects on the environment around them through the use of everyday products. In the TED presentation given by Leyla Acaroglu, “Paper Beats Plastic? How to Rethink Environmental Folklore,” filmed in February 2013, Acaroglu dissects the “life cycle stages” of products that are used every day by the majority of consumers, like cellphones and refrigerators, to give us a broader perspective of how our seemingly simple life processes can have unhealthy effects on our environment over time. Her purpose throughout the presentation is to give her audience a look into the research that she encounters daily that proves the need for a more informed society. For instance, simply throwing out an “outdated” cellphone has negative global effects that most consumers are unaware of, and Acaroglu portrays knowledgeable and visual information showing the gruesome details of trashing it, rather than recycling it. She also stresses the need for designers to produce “behavior-changing products” that “solve these problems upfront” (Acaroglu, par. 13). Designing smaller refrigerators to reduce the waste of uneaten foods going to landfills, which creates more greenhouse gases harmful to the environment, and implying that composting could greatly reduce this problem are just a couple topics Acaroglu addresses. In conclusion, by sharing her expert knowledge, Leyla Acaroglu hopes to inform and inspire her audience, from product designers to the average consumer, to think differently about their everyday life and work cycles. She gives very clear reason to make better decisions that leave less of a carbon footprint on the environment.
Leyla Acaroglu is a multi-award winning sustainability educator and creator. Named as one of Melbourne’s Top 100 People of Influence in 2010, Acaroglu is a well-known international speaker at many top Universities and is the founder of two design agencies; Eco Innovators, based in Melbourne, and Disrupt Design in New York. She is also the founder of The Un-School of Disrupt Design and is the creative director of the award-winning educational project ‘The Secret Life of Things.’ Acaroglu is the author of two published works; Good Design Guide and Make Change: a Handbook for creative rebels and change agents. Stepping onto the TED stage, Acaroglu radiates her ethos, or ethical appeals to the audience just by simply being Leyla Acaroglu. In her introduction, Acaroglu establishes her credibility of speaking about environmental sustainability as she tells her audience that she works in design. Acaroglu says, “I advise designers and innovators around sustainability, and everyone always says to me, ‘Oh Leyla, I just want the eco-materials’ “(par.3). This proves to the audience that her opinion is well-respected and shows her intelligence when it comes to sustainable design. The fact that designers want to use eco-materials also establishes the main point that people are aware of negative changes in the environment and want to help make a difference producing better products for it. They are seeking the expertise of advisors like Acaroglu to help them produce environmentally sustainable products. This helps Acaroglu establish a trust with her audience that the topic of sustainable design is an extremely important one.
In the body of her presentation Acaroglu gives many different examples of daily processes and uses mostly logos appeals speaking to her audience in a way that easy to understand. She breaks down the stages of a products life when she discusses what happens when food goes to a landfill as opposed to getting rid of the food in a natural environment such as by composting. Acaroglu states, “When something natural ends up in the natural environment, it degrades normally. Its little carbon molecules that it stored up as it was growing are naturally released back into the atmosphere as carbon dioxide, but this is a net situation. Most natural things don’t actually end up in nature. Most of the things, the waste that we produce, end up in a landfill” (par. 7). Acaroglu explains that a landfill is an “anaerobic” environment meaning that there is no oxygen, and without the oxygen the carbon molecules do not break down the way they are supposed to (par. 7). Instead “those same carbon molecules, they become methane, and methane is a 25 times more potent greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide” (Acaroglu, par.7). As a result, Acaroglu states that the products we use, “if they end up in a landfill, contribute to climate change” (par.7). Here, her explanation from an ethical perspective gives us logical reasoning of the damaging effects to the environment just from a simple act of throwing something away. Most people have heard about climate change in the news, or have noticed in one way or another differences in their own climate over the past recent years. They have seen severe weather patterns happening all over the globe that have wiped out entire cities at a time. The audience should be fairly aware that climate change is not a good thing.
Another thing Acaroglu talks about is the size of the refrigerator today. Using the logos appeal she relates to her audience easily talking about products that nearly everyone has. She explains that refrigerators have grown in size of the past few years. The problem with this, Acaroglu states, is that “they’re so big now, it’s easier for us to buy more food that we can’t eat” (par.8). Acaroglu backs up this statement with U.N. statistics that “40 percent of food purchased for the home is wasted. Half of the world’s produced food is wasted” (par.8). A quick camera shot around the room shows the shocked reaction of the audience in learning these figures. The audience, at this point, can see where Acaroglu is going with this. The act of buying larger refrigerators essentially means more waste, which concludes for them that the waste will end up in the landfill and will further increase changes in the climate. Not only does this speak to the average consumer that cutting down on the amount of food they bring home can reduce waste going to the landfill, it says to them that they can influence the reduction of climate change as well. For the designers in the audience, Acaroglu’s presentation greatly expresses the need for more innovative products designed to curb these problems from the start. “Forty percent food waste is a major problem. Imagine if we designed fridges that halved that,” Acaroglu passively insists to the designers in the room (par.11). Acaroglu consistently mentions in each example she gives that there is a problem that needs to be addressed and each problem ends with the same result. These problems are not just for the designers to figure out. These problems are for everyone to consider when thinking about their own personal impact on the environment.
As the presentation is nearing the end, Acaroglu hits us with the pathos appeal when she brings up the topic of cell phones. Acaroglu brings up the statistics that “ Every single year, 1.5 billion mobile phones roll off production lines,” and the sad fact that “ One-hundred fifty-two million phones were thrown out in the U.S. last year; only 11 percent were recycled” (par. 14). Inside these tossed aside mobile phones there lies gold and other valuable materials. Acaroglu states that “it’s actually cheaper now to get gold out of a ton of old mobile phones than it is out of a ton of gold ore” (par. 14). Because of this fact, Acaroglu insists that “we need to find ways of encouraging disassembly” (par.14). When these mobile phones aren’t recycled, they end up being shipped to other countries like Ghana, India, and China. In these countries, they are disassembled for the gold inside. Acaroglu states in Ghana “electronic waste is reported by the U.N. as being up to 50 million tons trafficked” (par. 14). That’s a huge mount! The way the people of Ghana get the gold out is where Acaroglu now directs our attention because she wants the audience to sympathize with the people of Ghana and the other countries. She states, “They burn the electronic waste in open spaces. These are communities, and this is happening all over the world. And because we don’t see the ramifications of the choices that we make as designers, as businesspeople, as consumers, then these kinds of externalities happen, and these are people’s lives” (par.14). In another article written by Leyla Acaroglu, “Where Do Old Cellphones Go to Die”, published by The New York Times on May 4th, 2013, she touches more on the disturbing trend of burning electronics out in the open. Acaroglu informs that “Greenpeace, the Basel Action Network, and others have posted YouTube videos of young children inhaling the smoke that rises from burned phone casings as they identify and separate different kinds of plastics for recyclers” (“Old Cellphones” par. 2). In the same article Acaroglu states that “Most scientists agree that exposure poses serious health risks, especially to pregnant women and children. The World Health Organization reports that even low exposure to lead, cadmium and mercury (all of which can be found in old phones) can cause irreversible neurological damage and threaten the development of a child” (“Old Cellphones” par. 3). Clearly, burning these phones not only affects the environment, but also affects the health of millions of people worldwide. If more people knew of these happenings, it might make them think twice about tossing that old phone in the trash. And this is what Leyla Acaroglu intends to make her audience think about when she breaks down the stages of a products life. The horrible outcomes that stem from the simple choices we make can all be decreased by tweaking our daily habits just ever so slightly. Designers can help by giving us problem-solving products to use. We can all do our part a bit more with the necessary information that Acaroglu gives. And I think because of this presentation, I have become more aware of the things I do and how my choices impact the environment.
In conclusion, I feel that Leyla Acaroglu’s presentation affected her audience in a positive way that really got them thinking. Her language and choice of words were easy for anyone to understand. I don’t think she could’ve relayed the message any better to get it across to all mediums. She speaks mostly in second person throughout her presentation which makes her very relatable to the audience in that ”we” are just like her, we just think about things in a different way. But as long as Leyla Acaroglu has a stage to stand on and a voice to be heard, we will be that much closer to thinking the same. We will be that much closer to making a change.
Works Cited
Acaroglu, Leyla. “Paper Beats Plastic? How to Rethink Environmental Folklore.”
Ted. Com. TED, Feb. 2013 Web 24 Jan. 2015
Acaroglu, Leyla. “Where Do Old Cellphones Go to Die?” The New York Times. 4 May 2013. 15 February 2013.
