Is it a possibility that I can have this done by today

The Writing Process CHAPTER PREVIEW Prewriting • Technique 1: Freewriting • Technique 2: Questioning • Technique 3: Making a List • Technique 4: Clustering • Technique 5: Preparing a Scratch Outline Writing a First Draft Revising Editing Using Peer Review Review Activities The Writing Process RESPONDING TO IMAGES Everyone approaches writing differently. Some people dive right in. Others wait until the last minute. How would you describe your approach? Think about the steps you follow when asked to write for school. Keep in mind that there is no one right way to get started. CHAPTER lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 19 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 19 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM 20 PA R T 1 Writing: Skills and Process Chapter 1 introduced you to the paragraph form and some basics of writing. This chapter will explain and illustrate the sequence of steps in writing an effective paragraph. In particular, the chapter will focus on prewriting and revising—strategies that can help with every paper that you write.

For many people, writing is a process that involves the following steps: 1. Discovering a point—often through prewriting 2. Developing solid support for the point—often through more prewriting 3. Organizing the supporting material, making an outline, and writing it out in a first draft 4. Revising and then editing carefully to ensure an effective, error-free paper Learning this sequence will help give you confidence when the time comes to write. You’ll know that you can use prewriting as a way to think on paper (or on the screen) and to discover gradually just what ideas you want to develop. You’ll understand that there are four clear-cut goals to aim for in your writing—unity, support, organization, and error-free sen- tences. You’ll realize that you can revise a paper until it is strong and effec- tive. And you’ll be able to edit a paper so that your sentences are clear and errorfree.

Prewriting Like many people, you may have trouble getting started writing. A men- tal block may develop when you sit down before a blank sheet of paper.

You may not be able to think of an interesting topic sentence. Or you may have trouble coming up with relevant details to support a possible topic sentence. And even after starting a paper, you may hit snags— moments when you wonder, “What else can I say?” or “Where do I go next?” The following pages describe five prewriting techniques that will help you think about and develop a topic and get words on paper: (1) freewrit- ing, (2) questioning, (3) making a list, (4) diagramming, and (5) preparing a scratch outline. These techniques help you think about and create material, and they are a central part of the writing process.

Technique 1: Freewri ting Freewriting means jotting down in rough sentences or phrases everything that comes to mind about a possible topic. See if you can write nonstop for ten minutes or more. Do not worry about spelling or punctuating correctly, about erasing mistakes, about organizing material, or about finding exact words. Instead, explore an idea by putting down whatever pops into your head. If you get stuck for words, repeat yourself until more words come.

There is no need to feel inhibited, since mistakes do not count and you do not have to hand in your freewriting. lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 20 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 20 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM CHAPTER 2 The Writing Process 21 Copyright © 2013 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Freewriting will limber up your writing muscles and make you famil- iar with the act of writing. It is a way to break through mental blocks about writing. Since you do not have to worry about mistakes, you can focus on discovering what you want to say about a subject. Your initial ideas and impressions will often become clearer after you have gotten them down on paper, and they may lead to other impressions and ideas. Through contin- ued practice in freewriting, you will develop the habit of thinking as you write. And you will learn a technique that is a helpful way to get started on almost any paper.

Freewriting: A Student Model Diane Woods’s paragraph “The Hazards of Moviegoing” on page 6 was developed in response to an assignment to write about some annoyance in everyday life. Diane began by doing some general freewriting and think- ing about things that annoy her. At first, she was stuck for words; she had writer ’s block, a common experience for writers. However, Diane pushed through and just kept putting words on the page. Even writing “stuck, stuck, stuck!” helped her stay focused, and eventually, good ideas began to emerge. Here is her freewriting: T h e r e a r e l ot s of things I get annoyed by. One of them that comes to mind is politishans, in fact I am so annoyed by them that I don’t want to say anything about them the last thing I want is to write about them. Stuck, stuck, stuck! . . wh at else annoys me?? (bes ides this ass ignment)—now I’m wh ining again. That’s annoying. OK— Anot her thing that bot hers me are people wh o keep complaining about everything. If you’re having trouble, do somet hing about it just don’t keep complaining and just talking. I am really annoyed by traffi c. There are too many cars in our block and its not surprising. Everyone has a car, the parents have cars and the parents are just too induljent and the kids have cars, and theyre all coming and going all the time and oft en driving too fast. Speeding up and down the street . We need a speed limit sign but here I am back with politiks again. I am really bot hered wh en I have to drive to the movie theater all the conges tion along the way plus there are just so many cars there at the mall. No space even though the parking lot is huge it just fi lls up with cars. continued lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 21 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 21 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM 22 PA R T 1 Writing: Skills and Process At this point, Diane read over her notes and, as she later commented, “I realized that I had several potential topics. I said to myself, ‘What point can I make that I can cover in a paragraph? What do I have the most information about?’ I decided that maybe I could narrow my topic down to the annoyances involved in going to the movies. I figured I would have more details for that topic.” Diane then did more focused freewriting to accumulate details for a paragraph on problems with moviegoing: Movies are a bot her anyway bec ause the people can be annoying wh o are sitt ing there in the theater with you, talking on their cell phones and dropp ing popcorn tubs and acting like they’re at home wh en they’re not . I really fi nd it annoying to go see movies anymore. Even though I love fi lms, Traffi c to Cinema Si is awful. I hate looking for a parking place, the lot isn’t big enough for the theaters and ot her stores . You just keep driving to fi nd a parking space and hoping someone will pull out and no one else will pull in ahead of you. Then you don’t want there to be a long line and to wind up in one of the fi rst rows with this huge screen right in fr ont of you. Then I’m in the theater with the smell of popcorn all around. Sitt ing there smelling it trying to ignore it and just wanting to pour a wh ole bucket of popcorn with melted butt er down my throat. I can’t stop thinking about the choclate bars either. I love the stuff but I don’t need it. The people wh o are there somet imes drive me nuts. Talking and laughing, kids running around, packs of teens hollaring, wh o can list en to the movie? And I might run into my old boy fr iend—the last thing I need. Also sitt ing thru all the previews and commercals. If I arrive late enough to miss that junk the movie may be selled out. l an11285_ch02_019-051.indd 22 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 22 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM CHAPTER 2 The Writing Process 23 Copyright © 2013 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Notice that there are errors in spelling, grammar, and punctuation in Diane’s freewriting. Diane is not worried about such matters, nor should she be. At this stage, she just wants to do some thinking on paper and get some material down on the page. She knows that this is a good first step, a good way of getting started, and that she will then be able to go on and shape the material. You should take the same approach when freewriting: explore your topic without worrying at all about being “correct.” Figuring out what you want to say and getting raw material down on the page should be your primary focus at this early stage of the writing process. ACTIVITY 1 a. To get a sense of the freewriting process, take a sheet of paper and freewrite about some of the everyday annoyances in your life. See how much mate- rial you can accumulate in ten minutes. And remember not to worry about “mistakes”; you’re just thinking on paper. b. Read over the material that you generated and decide which annoyance you have the most information about. Then do more focused freewriting on that specific annoyance. Technique 2: Questioning In questioning, you generate ideas and details by asking questions about your subject. Such questions include Who? What? Where? When? Why? and How? Ask as many questions as you can think of. Here are some questions that Diane Woods might have asked while developing her paragraph. Questioning: A Student Model continued Questions Answers Why don’t I like to go to a movie? Just too many problems involved. What annoys me about going to the movies ? Everything! Gett ing to the theater, waiting for the movie to start, eating snacks that I shouldn’t be eating, and putt ing up with ot hers during the movie. l an11285_ch02_019-051.indd 23 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 23 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM 24 PA R T 1 Writing: Skills and Process Technique 3: Making a List In making a list, also known as brainstorming, you collect ideas and details that relate to your subject. Pile these items up, one after another, without trying to sort out major details from minor ones, or trying to put the details in any special order. Your goal is just to make a list of everything about your subject that occurs to you. When is going to the movies a problem? Could be any time—wh en a movie is popular, the theater is too crowded; wh en traffi c is bad, the trip is a drag. Where are problems with moviegoing? On the highway, in the parking lot , at the concess ion stand, in the theater itself. Who creates the problems? I do by wanting to eat too much. The patrons do by creating dist urbances . The theater owners do by not having enough parking space and showing too many commercials. How can I deal with the problem? I can stay home and watch movies on DVD or cable TV. TIP Asking questions can be an effective way of getting yourself to think about a topic from different angles. The questions can help you generate details about a topic. To get a sense of the questioning process, use a sheet of paper to ask yourself and answer a series of questions about a specific recent experience you’ve had involving your everyday annoyance. What happened? Why did the situation annoy you? How did you respond? See how many details you can accumulate in ten minutes. And remember again not to be concerned about “mistakes,” because you are just thinking on paper. ACTIVITY 2 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 24 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 24 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM CHAPTER 2 The Writing Process 25 Copyright © 2013 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. After Diane did her freewriting about moviegoing, she made up the following list of details. Making a List: A Student Model T r a ffi c is bad bet ween my house and theater Noisy patrons Don’t want to run into Jeremy Hard to be on a diet Kids running in aisles I’m crowded into seats bet ween strangers wh o push me off armres ts Not enough parking Parking lot needs to be expanded Too many previews Can’t pause or fast-forward as you can with a DVD Long lines High ticket prices Too many temptatons at snack stand Commercials for food on the screen Can prepare healthy snacks for myself at home Tubs of popcorn with butt er Huge choclate bars Candy has always been my downfall Movie may be sold out People talking on their cell phones People coughing and sneezing lcky stuff on fl oor Teenagers yelling and showing off One detail led to another as Diane expanded her list. Slowly but surely more details emerged, some of which she could use in developing her paragraph. By the time she was done with her list, she was ready to plan an outline of her paragraph and then to write her first draft. lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 25 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 25 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM 26 PA R T 1 Writing: Skills and Process Technique 4: Clustering Clustering, also known as diagramming or mapping, is another strategy that can be used to generate material for a paper. This method is helpful for people who like to do their thinking in a visual way. In clustering, you use lines, boxes, arrows, and circles to show relationships among the ideas and details that occur to you. Begin by stating your subject in a few words in the center of a blank sheet of paper. Then, as ideas and details come to you, put them in boxes or circles around the subject and draw lines to connect them to each other and to the subject. Put minor ideas or details in smaller boxes or circles, and use connecting lines to show how they relate as well. Keep in mind that there is no right or wrong way of clustering or dia- gramming. It is a way to think on paper about how various ideas and de- tails relate to one another. Below is an example of what Diane might have done to develop her ideas. Clustering: A Student Model Traffic getting to theater Line at box office Specific detail Main idea Might see old boyfriend Noisy people Adults Talking on cell phones Coughing and sneezing Teenagers Showing off Yelling Temptatons Choclate bars Popcorn Too many people Supporting point Moviegoing To get a sense of list-making, list on a sheet of paper all the details that you can think of about your particular everyday annoyance. ACTIVITY 3 T I P In addition to helping generate material, clustering often suggests ways to organize ideas and details. lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 26 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 26 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM CHAPTER 2 The Writing Process 27 Copyright © 2013 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Technique 5: Preparing a Scratch Outline A scratch outline is an excellent sequel to the first four prewriting techniques. A scratch outline often follows freewriting, questioning, list-making, or dia- gramming; or it may gradually emerge in the midst of these strategies. In fact, trying to make a scratch outline is a good way to see if you need to do more prewriting. If you cannot come up with a solid outline, then you know you need to do more prewriting to clarify and support your main point. In a scratch outline, you think carefully about the point you are mak- ing, the supporting items for that point, and the order in which you will arrange those items. The scratch outline is a plan or blueprint to help you achieve a unified, supported, well-organized composition.

Scratch Outline: A Student Model As Diane was working on her list of details, she suddenly realized what the plan of her paragraph could be. She could organize many of her details into one of three supporting groups: (1) annoyances in going out; (2) too many tempting snacks; and (3) other people. She then went back to the list, crossed out items that she now saw did not fit, and numbered the items according to the group where they fit. Here is what Diane did with her list: Use clustering (diagramming) to organize the list of details that you created for the previous activity (page 26). ACTIVITY 4 1 T r a ffi c is bad bet ween my house and the theater 3 Noisy patrons Don’t want to run into Jeremy 2 Hard to be on a diet 3 Kids running in aisles 3 I’m crowded into seats bet ween strangers wh o push me off armres ts 1 Not enough parking 1 Parking lot needs to be expanded 1 Too many previews Can’t pause or fast forward as you can with a DVD 1 Long lines 1 High ticket prices 2 Too many temptatons at snack stand Commercials for food on the screen continued l an11285_ch02_019-051.indd 27 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 27 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM 28 PA R T 1 Writing: Skills and Process Under the list, Diane was now able to prepare her scratch outline: 2 Can prepare healthy snacks for myself at home 2 Tubs of popcorn with butt er 2 Huge choclate bars Candy has always been my downfall 1 Movie may be sold out 3 People talking on their cell phones 3 People coughing and sneezing 1 Icky stuff on fl oor 2 Teenagers yelling and showing off Going to the movies off ers some real problems. 1. Inconvenience of going out 2. Tempting snacks 3. Other moviegoers After all her prewriting, Diane was pleased. She knew that she had a prom- ising paragraph—one with a clear point and solid support. She saw that she could organize the material into a paragraph with a topic sentence, supporting points, and vivid details. She was now ready to write the first draft of her paragraph, using her outline as a guide. TIP Chances are that if you do enough pr ewr iting and thinking on paper, you will eventually discover the point and support of your paragraph. Create a scratch outline that could serve as a guide if you were to write a para- graph about your particular annoyance. ACTIVITY 5 Writing a First Draft When you write a first draft, be prepared to put in additional thoughts and details that did not emerge during prewriting. And don’t worry if you hit a snag. Just leave a blank space or add a comment such as “Do later” and press on to finish the paragraph. Also, don’t worry yet about grammar, punctuation, or spelling. You don’t want to take time correcting words or sentences that you may decide to remove later. Instead, make it your goal to state your main idea clearly and develop the content of your paragraph with plenty of specific details. lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 28 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 28 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM CHAPTER 2 The Writing Process 29 Copyright © 2013 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Writing a First Draft: A Student Model Here is Diane’s first draft: Although I love movies, there are just too many problems involved in going to the movies. Although I love movies, I’ve found that there are drawbacks to moviegoing. One problem is just the inconveneince of it all. To get to the theater you have to drive for at least 15 minutes, or more if traffic is bad. Because of a nearby supermarket and restaurants, it can take forever to find a parking spot and then I have to walk across a huge parking lot to the theater. There I deal with lines that are long, sold-out shows, and ever-increasing prices. I hate sitting with my feet sticking to the floor because of other people’s spilled snacks. Another problem is my lack of self-control, I often stuff myself with snacks unhealthy, calorie-laden snacks. My choices might include a bucket of popcorn, a box of junior mints, a giant soda, or all three.

My friends are as bad as I am. The worst problem is some of the other moviegoers. Little kids run up and down the aisle. Teenagers laugh and shout at the screen. Other people drop food and soda cups on the floor. They are also talking a lot and doing other stuff—bms! I would rather stay home and wait to see the latest movies On Demand in the comfort of my own living room. See if you can fill in the missing words in the following explanation of Diane’s first draft. ACTIVITY 6 1. Diane presents her _____________________ in the first sentence and then crosses it out and revises it right away to make it read smoothly and clearly. 2. There are some misspellings—for example, _______________________ . Diane doesn’t worry about spelling at this point. She just wants to get down as much of the substance of her paragraph as possible. TIP After Diane finished the first draft, she was able to put it aside until the next day. You will benefit as well if you can allow some time between finish- ing a draft and starting to revise. lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 29 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 29 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM 30 PA R T 1 Writing: Skills and Process 3. There are various punctuation errors, especially the run-on near the (beginning, middle, end) of the paragraph. Again, Diane is focusing on content; she knows she can attend to punctuation and grammar later. 4. Notice that she continues to accumulate specific supporting details as she writes the draft. For example, she crosses out and replaces “snacks” with the more specific _________________________ . 5. Near the end of her draft, Diane can’t think of added details to insert so she simply puts the letters “ ___________________” at that point to remind herself to “be more specific” in the next draft. She then goes on to finish her first draft. Use the prewriting that you generated in this chapter to write a paragraph about a particular annoyance in everyday life. Provide three reasons why you consider your topic an annoyance, and give plenty of details to support each of your three reasons. ACTIVITY 7 Revising Revising is as much a stage in the writing process as prewriting, outlin- ing, and doing the first draft. Revising means rewriting a paper, building on what has already been done, in order to make it stronger. One writer has said about revision, “It’s like cleaning house—getting rid of all the junk and putting things in the right order.” But it is not just “straightening up”; instead, you must be ready to roll up your sleeves and do whatever is needed to create an effective paper. Too many students think that the first draft is the paper. They start to become writers when they realize that revising a rough draft three or four times is often at the heart of the writing process.

Here are some quick hints that can help make revision easier. First, set your first draft aside for a while. A few hours will do, but a day or two would be better. You can then come back to the draft with a fresh, more objective point of view. Second, work from typed or printed text. You’ll be able to see the paper more impartially in this way than if you were just looking at your own familiar handwriting. Next, read your draft aloud.

Hearing how your writing sounds will help you pick up problems with meaning as well as with style. Finally, as you do all these things, add your thoughts and changes above the lines or in the margins of your paper. Your written comments can serve as a guide when you work on the next draft.

There are three stages to the revision process: • Revising content • Revising sentences • Editing in a writer’s words “ It would be crazy to begin revising immediately after f inishing the f irst draft, and counter to the way the mind likes to create. You’re exhausted. You deserve a vacation. ” ––Kenneth Atchity lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 30 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 30 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM CHAPTER 2 The Writing Process 31 Copyright © 2013 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Revising Content To evaluate and revise the content of your paragraph, ask these questions: 1. Is my paragraph unified ? • Do I have a clear, single point in the first sentence of the paragraph? • Does all my evidence truly support and back up my main idea? 2. Is my paragraph supported ? • Are there separate supporting points for the main idea? • Do I have specific evidence for each supporting point? • Is there plenty of specific evidence for the supporting point? 3. Is my paragraph organized ? • Do I have a clear method of organizing my paragraph? • Do I use transitions and other connecting words? Chapters 3 and 4 will give you practice in achieving unity, support, and organization in your writing. Revising Sentences To evaluate and revise sentences in your paragraph, ask yourself: 1. Do I use parallelism to balance my words and ideas? 2. Do I have a consistent point of view? 3. Do I use specific words? 4. Do I use active verbs? 5. Do I use words effectively by avoiding slang, clichés, pretentious language, and wordiness? 6. Do I vary my sentences? Chapter 4 will give you practice in revising sentences. Editing After you have revised your paragraph for content and style, you are ready to edit —check for and correct—errors in grammar, punctuation, and spell- ing. Students often find it hard to edit their writing carefully. They have put so much, or so little, work into their writing that it’s almost painful for them to look at it one more time. You may simply have to will yourself to perform this important closing step in the writing process. Remember that eliminat- ing sentence-skills mistakes will improve an average paragraph and help ensure a strong grade on a good paper. Further, as you get into the habit of checking your work, you will also get into the habit of using the sentence skills consistently. They are an integral part of clear and effective writing. Chapter 4 and Part 5 of this book will serve as a guide while you are editing your paragraphs for mistakes in sentence skills. lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 31 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 31 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM 32 PA R T 1 Writing: Skills and Process An Illustration of the Revising and Editing Processes Revising with a Second Draft: A Student Model Since Diane Woods was using a word-processing program on a com- puter, she was able to print out a double-spaced version of her paragraph about movies, leaving her plenty of room for revisions. Here is her revised paragraph: Although I love movies, I’ve found that there are drawbacks to moviegoing. One problem is just the inconveneince of it all. To get to the theater you have to drive for at least 15 minutes, or more if traffic is bad. Because of a nearby supermarket and restaurants, it can take forever to find a parking spot and then I have to walk across a huge parking lot to the theater. There I deal with lines that are long, sold-out shows, and ever-incresing prices. I hate sitting with my feet sticking to the floor because of other people’s spilled snacks. Another problem is my lack of self-control, I often stuff myself with unhealthy, calorie-laden snacks. My choices might include a bucket of popcorn, a box of junior mints, a giant soda, or all three. My friends are as bad as I am. The worst problem is some of the other moviegoers. Little kids run up and down the aisle, Teenagers laugh and shout at the screen. Other people drop food and soda cups and talk on their cell phones. I would rather stay home and wait to see the latest movies On Demand in the comfort of my own living room. I I long lines dripp ing with butt er large coke Finally As People of all ages popcorn tubs Diane made her changes in longhand as she worked on the second draft. As you will see when you complete the activity below, her revision serves to make the paragraph more unified, better supported, and better organized. 1. To achieve better organization, Diane sets off the third supporting point with the word “ __________________ .” 2. In the interest of (unity, support, coherence) __________________ , Diane crosses out the sentence “ _________________________ .” She real- izes this sentence is not a relevant detail, but really another topic. Fill in the missing words. ACTIVITY 8 , lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 32 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 32 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM CHAPTER 2 The Writing Process 33 Copyright © 2013 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 3. To add more (unity, support, coherence) __________________ , Diane changes “giant soda” to “ __________________ ”; she changes “food” to “ __________________ ”; and she adds “ __________________ ” after “bucket of popcorn.” 4. To eliminate wordiness, she removes the words “ __________________ _______________________” from the fourth sentence. 5. In the interest of parallelism, Diane changes “lines that are long” to “ __________________ .” 6. For greater sentence variety, Diane combines two short sentences, be- ginning the first sentences with the subordinating word “ __________ .” 7. To create a consistent point of view, Diane changes “you have to drive” to “ __________________ .” 8. Finally, Diane replaces the somewhat vague “other people” with the more precise “ __________________ .” Editing: A Student Model After typing into her word-processing file all the changes in her second draft, Diane printed out another clean draft of the paragraph. The para- graph required almost no more revision, so Diane turned her attention mostly to editing changes, illustrated below. Although I love movies, I’ve found that there are drawbacks to moviegoing. One problem is just the inconveneince of it all. To get to the theater I have to drive for at least 15 minutes, or more if traffic is bad. It can take forever to find a parking spot and then I have to walk across a huge parking lot to the theater. There I deal with long lines, sold-out shows, and ever-incresing prices. I hate sitting with my feet sticking to the floor because of other people’s spilled snacks. Another problem is my lack of self-control. I often stuff myself with unhealthy, calorie-laden snacks. My choices might include a bucket of popcorn dripping with butter, a box of junior mints, a large coke, or all three.

Finally the worst problem is some of the other moviegoers. As little kids continued inconvenience , fi ft een , ever-increasing . J MC , l an11285_ch02_019-051.indd 33 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 33 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM 34 PA R T 1 Writing: Skills and Process ACTIVITY 9 Once again, Diane makes her changes in longhand right on the printout of her paragraph. To note these changes, complete the activity below. run up and down the aisle, teenagers laugh and shout at the screen. People of all ages drop popcorn tubs and soda cups and talk on their cell phones. I would rather stay home and wait to see the latest movies On Demand in the comfort of my own living room. 1. As part of her editing, Diane checked and corrected the ______________ of two words, inconvenience and ever-increasing. 2. She added __________________ to set off an introductory phrase (“To get to the theater”) and an introductory word (“Finally”) and also to connect the two complete thoughts in the fourth sentence. 3. She realized that “junior mints” is a brand name and added __________ ____________ to make it “Junior Mints.” 4. She realized that a number like “15” should be __________________ as “fifteen.” 5. And since revision can occur at any stage in the writing process, in- cluding editing, she makes one of her details more vivid by adding the descriptive words “ __________________.” Fill in the missing words.

Write a paragraph about the everyday annoyance you’ve been prewriting about throughout this chapter. Draft your work, and then revise and edit it, using the guidelines on the previous pages. You might want to work with a partner to revise and edit even more effectively. ACTIVIT Y 10 Using Peer Review In addition to having your instructor as an audience for your writing, you will benefit from having another student in your class as an audience. On the day a paper is due, or on a day when you are writing papers in class, your instructor may ask you to pair up with another student. That student will read your paper, and you will read his or her paper.

Ideally, read the other paper aloud while your peer listens. If that is not practical, read it in a whisper while your peer looks on. As you read, both you and your peer should look and listen for spots where the paper does not read smoothly and clearly. Check or circle the trouble spots where your reading snags.

Your peer should then read your paper, marking possible trouble spots.

Then each of you should do three things. , cough and burp, lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 34 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 34 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM CHAPTER 2 The Writing Process 35 Copyright © 2013 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 1. Identification At the top of a separate sheet of paper, write the title and author of the paper you have read. Under it, write your name as the reader of the paper. 2. Scratch Outline “X-ray” the paper for its inner logic by making up a scratch outline. The scratch outline need be no more than twenty words or so, but it should show clearly the logical foundation on which the paragraph or essay is built. It should identify and summarize the overall point of the paper and the three areas of support for the point.

Your outline can look like this: Point:

Support:

(1) (2) (3) For example, here is a scratch outline of the paragraph on moviegoing on page 6: Point:

Support:

(1) (2) (3) 3. Comments Under the outline, write a heading, “Comments.” Here is what you should comment on: • Look at the spots where your reading of the paper snagged. Are words missing or misspelled? Is there a lack of parallel structure?

Are there mistakes with punctuation? Is the meaning of a sentence confused? Try to figure out what the problems are and suggest ways to fix them. • Are there spots in the paragraph or essay where you see problems with unity, support, or organization? (You’ll find it helpful to refer to the checklist on page 31.) If so, offer comments. For example, you might say, “More details are needed,” or, “Some of the supporting details don’t really back up your point.” • Finally, note something you really liked about the paper, such as good use of transitions or an especially realistic or vivid specific detail. l an11285_ch02_019-051.indd 35 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 35 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM 36 PA R T 1 Writing: Skills and Process After you have completed your evaluation of the paper, give it to your peer. Your instructor may give you the option of rewriting a paper in light of the feedback you get. Whether or not you rewrite, be sure to hand in the peer-evaluation form with your paper.

You now have a good overview of the writing process, from prewriting to first draft to revising to editing. The chapters in Part Two will deepen your sense of the four goals of effective writing: unity, support, organiza- tion or coherence, and sentence skills. Review Activities To reinforce much of the information about the writing process that you have learned in this chapter, you can now work through the following activities: • Taking a writing inventory • Prewriting • Outlining • Revising Taking a Writing Inventory REVIEW ACTIVITY 1 1. When you start work on a paragraph, do you typically do any prewriting? Y e s Sometimes No 2. If so, which prewriting techniques do you use? Freewriting Diagramming Questioning Scratch outline List-making Other (please describe on the lines below) 3. Which prewriting technique or techniques work best for you, or which do you think will work best for you? 4. Many students say they find it helpful to handwrite a first draft and then type that draft on a computer. They then print out the draft and Answer the questions below to evaluate your approach to the writing process. Think about the writing you have done for other classes. This activity is not a test, so try to be as honest as possible. Becoming aware of your writing habits will help you realize changes that may be helpful. l an11285_ch02_019-051.indd 36 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 36 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM CHAPTER 2 The Writing Process 37 Copyright © 2013 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. revise it by hand. Describe the way you proceed in drafting and revis- ing a paragraph. 5. After you write the first draft of a paragraph, do you have time to set it aside for a while so that you can come back to it with a fresh eye? Yes No 6. How many drafts of a paragraph do you typically write? 7. When you revise, are you aware that you should be working toward a paragraph that is unified, solidly supported, and clearly organized?

Has this chapter given you a better sense that unity, support, and orga- nization are goals to aim for? 8. Do you revise a paragraph for the clarity and quality of its sentences as well as for its content? Yes No 9. Do you typically do any editing of the almost-final draft of a para- graph, or do you tend to “hope for the best” and hand it in without careful checking? Edit Hope for the best 10. What (if any) information has this chapter given you about prewriting that you will try to apply in your writing? 11. What (if any) information has this chapter given you about revising that you will try to apply in your writing? 12. What (if any) information has this chapter given you about editing that you will try to apply in your writing? lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 37 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 37 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM 38 PA R T 1 Writing: Skills and Process On the following pages are examples of how the five prewriting techniques could be used to develop the topic “Problems of Combining Work and College.” Identify each technique by writing F (for freewriting), Q (for questioning), L (for list-making), C (for clustering), or SO (for the scratch outline) in the answer space. REVIEW ACTIVITY 2 Pr ewrit ing Never enough time Miss campus parties Had to study (only two free hours a night) Give up activities with friends No time to rewrite papers Can’t stay at school to hang out with or talk to friends Friends don’t call me to go out anymore Sunday no longer relaxed day—have to study Missing sleep I should be getting Grades aren’t as good as they could be Can’t watch favorite TV shows Really need the extra money Tired when I sit down to study at 9 o’clock What are some of the problems of combining work and school? Schoolwork suffers because I don’t have time to study or rewrite papers.

I’ve had to give up things I enjoy, like sleep and touch football. I can’t get into the social life at college, because I have to work right after class. How have these problems changed my life? My grades aren’t as good as they were when I didn’t work. Some of my friends have stopped calling me.

My relationship with a girl I liked fell apart because I couldn’t spend much time with her. I miss TV. What do I do in a typical day? I get up at 7 to make an 8 a.m. class. I have classes till 1:30, and then I drive to the supermarket where I work.

I work till 7 p.m., and then I drive home and eat dinner. After I take a shower and relax for a half hour, it’s about 9. This gives me only a couple of hours to study—read textbooks, do math exercises, write essays. My eyes start to close well before I go to bed at 11. Why do I keep up this schedule? I can’t afford to go to school without working, and I need a degree to get the accounting job I want. If I invest my time now, I’ll have a better future. lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 38 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 38 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM CHAPTER 2 The Writing Process 39 Copyright © 2013 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Juggling a job and college has created major difficulties in my life. 1. Little time for studying a. Not reading textbooks b. No rewriting papers c. Little studying for tests 2. Little time for enjoying social side of college a. During school b. After school 3. No time for personal pleasures a. Favorite TV shows b. Sunday football games c. Sleeping late No Monday night football No sleeping late No rewriting of papers No textbook reading None during school No outside friends Little personal time Little study time Work and College Little social time It’s hard working and going to school at the same time. I never realized how much I’d have to give up. I won’t be quitting my job because I need the money. And the people are friendly at the place where I work. I’ve had to give up a lot more than I thought. We used to play touch football games every Sunday. They were fun and we’d go out for drinks afterwards. Sundays now are for catch-up work with my courses. I have to catch up because I don’t get home every day until 7, I have to eat dinner first before studying.

Sometimes I’m so hungry I just eat cookies or chips. Anyway, by the time I take a shower it’s 9 p.m. or later and I’m already feeling tired. I’ve been up since 7 a.m. Sometimes I write an English paper in twenty minutes and don’t even read it over.

I feel that I’m missing out on a lot in college. The other day some people I like were sitting in the cafeteria listening to music and talking. I would have given anything to stay and not have to go to work. I almost called in sick. I used to get invited to parties, I don’t much anymore. My friends know I’m not going to be able to make it, so they don’t bother. I can’t sleep late on weekends or watch TV during the week. lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 39 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 39 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM 40 PA R T 1 Writing: Skills and Process Outlining As already mentioned (see page 27), outlining is central to writing a good paragraph. An outline lets you see, plan out, and work on the bare bones of a paper, without the distraction of cluttered words and sentences. It devel- ops your ability to think clearly and logically. Outlining provides a quick check on whether your paper will be unified. It also suggests right at the start whether your paper will be adequately supported. And it shows you how to plan a paper that is well organized. The following series of exercises will help you develop the outlining skills so important to planning and writing a solid paragraph. EXPLANATION : It is true that the specific ideas are all symptoms, but they have in common something even more specific—they are all symptoms of the common cold. Therefore, answer b is too broad; the correct answer is a. Answer c is too narrow because it doesn’t cover all the specific ideas; it covers only the final item in the list (“sore throat”). One key to effective outlining is the ability to distinguish between general ideas (or main points) and specific details that fit under those ideas. Read each group of specific details below. Then circle the letter of the general idea that tells what the specific details have in common. Note that the general idea should not be too broad or too narrow. Begin by trying the example item, and then read the explanation that follows. REVIEW ACTIVITY 3 EXAMPLE Specific details: runny nose, coughing, sneezing, sore throat The general idea is: a. cold symptoms. b. symptoms. c. throat problems. HINT Remember that the general idea is the main point. 1 . Specific details: leaking toilet, no hot water, broken window, roaches The general idea is: a. problems. b. kitchen problems. c. apartment problems. 2 . Specific details: count to ten, take a deep breath, go for a walk The general idea is: a. actions. b. ways to calm down. c. ways to calm down just before a test. l an11285_ch02_019-051.indd 40 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 40 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM CHAPTER 2 The Writing Process 41 Copyright © 2013 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 3 . Specific details: Mark Twain, Kate Chopin, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Toni Morrison The general idea is: a. famous people. b. authors. c. American authors. 4 . Specific details: going to bed earlier, eating healthier foods, reading for half an hour each day, trying to be nicer to my mother The general idea is: a. resolutions. b. problems. c. solutions. 5 . Specific details: money problems, family problems, relationship prob- lems, health problems The general idea is: a. poor grades. b. causes of poor grades. c. effects of poor grades. In each of the following items, specific ideas (details) are given but a general idea is unstated. Fill in each blank with a general heading that accurately describes the list provided. REVIEW ACTIVITY 4 EXAMPLE General idea: Specific ideas: washing dishes preparing meals taking out trash dusting furniture 1. General idea: Specific ideas: convenient work hours short travel time to job good pay considerate boss 2 . General idea: Specific ideas: greed cowardice selfishness dishonesty 3 . General idea: Specific ideas: the invitations get the bride’s gown rent the tuxedos hire a photographer Household Chores l an11285_ch02_019-051.indd 41 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 41 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM 42 PA R T 1 Writing: Skills and Process Major and minor ideas are mixed together in the two paragraphs outlined below. Put the ideas in logical order by filling in the outlines. REVIEW ACTIVITY 5 1 . Topic sentence: People can be classified by how they treat their cars. Seldom wax or vacuum car Keep every mechanical item in top shape Protective owners Ignore needed maintenance Indifferent owners Wash and polish car every week Never wash, wax, or vacuum car Abusive owners Inspect and service car only when required by state law (1) a . b. (2) a . b. (3) a . b. 2 . Topic sentence: Living with an elderly parent has many benefits. Advantages for elderly person Live-in caretaker Learn about the past Advantages for adult children Serve useful role in family 4 . General idea: Specific ideas: “Your cologne stinks.” “You look terrible.” “You’ve got no common sense.” “Your writing sucks.” 5 . General idea: Specific ideas: “I love your hair.” “You look great in red.” “You’re so smart.” “Your writing is outstanding.” l an11285_ch02_019-051.indd 42 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 42 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM CHAPTER 2 The Writing Process 43 Copyright © 2013 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Help with household tasks Advantages for grandchildren Stay active and interested in young people More attention from adults (1) a . b. (2) a . b. (3) a . b. Again, major and minor ideas are mixed together. In addition, in each outline one of the three major ideas is missing and must be added. Put the ideas in logical order by filling in the outlines that follow (summarizing as needed) and adding a third major idea. REVIEW ACTIVITY 6 1 . Topic sentence: Extending the school day would have several advantages. Help children academically Parents know children are safe at the school More time to spend on basics Less pressure to cover subjects quickly More time for extras like art, music, and sports Help working parents More convenient to pick up children at 4 or 5 p.m.

Teachers’ salaries would be raised (1) a . b. (2) a . b . (3) a . b. lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 43 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 43 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM 44 PART 1 Writing: Skills and Process 2 . Topic sentence: By following certain hints about food, exercise, and smoking, people can increase their chances of dying young Don’t ever walk if there is a ride available Choose foods such as bacon and lunch meats that are laced with nitrites and other preservatives Be very selective about what foods are eaten Keep smoking, even if it causes coughing or shortness of breath Don’t play an outdoor sport; open a beer instead and head for a La-Z- Boy recliner Resist the urge to exercise Choose foods from one of four essential groups: fat, starch, sugar, and grease Smoke on a regular basis (1) a . b . (2) a . b. (3) a . b. Read the following two paragraphs. Then outline each one in the space pro- vided. Write out the topic sentence in each case and summarize in a few words the supporting points and details that fit under the topic sentence. REVIEW ACTIVITY 7 Why I’m a Stay-at-Home Baseball Fan I’d much rather stay at home and watch ball games on television than go to the ballpark. First, it’s cheaper to watch a game at home. I don’t have to spend twenty-five dollars for a ticket and another ten dollars for a parking space. If I want some refreshments, I can have what’s already in the refrigerator instead of shelling out another six dollars for a limp, lukewarm hot dog and a watery Coke. Also, it’s more comfortable at home. I avoid a bumper-to bumper drive to the ballpark and pushy crowds who want to go through the same gate I do. I can lie quietly on my living-room sofa instead of sitting on a hard stadium seat with noisy people all around me. Most of all, watching a game on television is more informative. Not only do I see all the plays that I might miss from 1. Personal l an11285_ch02_019-051.indd 44 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 44 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM CHAPTER 2 The Writing Process 45 Copyright © 2013 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Topic sentence: (1) a . b . (2) a . b. (3) a . b. my twenty-five-dollar seat, but I see some of them two and three times in instant replay. In addition, I get each play explained to me in glorious detail. If I were at the ballpark, I wouldn’t know that the pitch our third baseman hit was a high and inside slider or that his grand-slam home run was a record-setting seventh in his career. The other fans can spend their money; put up with traffic, crowds, and hard seats; and guess at the plays. I’ll take my baseball lying down—at home. Good Employees Employers are always looking for great employees who are conscientious, focused, and analytical. First, conscientious employees are people who take pride in their work and want to do their best. These employees make sure they contribute the best work possible and meet set deadlines. If they run into a problem, they first try to solve the problem on their own, but if they cannot solve the problem, they seek the help necessary to complete the task. Second, focused employees are people who don’t waste time. They arrive on time and use the time at work to do work. They don’t unnecessarily talk to their friends or family on the phone, they don’t surf the Internet for amusing YouTube videos, and they don’t stand around chatting with other employees for long periods of time.

Finally, analytical employees are people who see a problem and work to solve the problem. They strive to make things better. If they see a better way that something could be done, they try to implement it. Employees who have these three qualities will always be in demand. 2. Work lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 45 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 45 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM 46 PA R T 1 Writing: Skills and Process Topic Sentence : (1) a . b . (2) a . b. (3) a . b. Revising Listed in the box below are five stages in the process of composing a para- graph titled “Dangerous Places.” REVIEW ACTIVITY 8 1. Prewriting (list) 2. Prewr iting (fre ewriting, questioning list, and scratch outline) 3. First draft 4. Revising (second draft) 5. Revising (final draft) The five stages appear in scrambled order below and on the next page. Write the number 1 in the blank space in front of the first stage of develop- ment and number the remaining stages in sequence. There are some places where I never feel safe. For example, public rest rooms. The dirt and graffiti dirt on the floors and the graffiti scrawled on the walls make the room seem dangerous create a sense of danger. I’m also afraid in parking lots. Late at night, I don’t like walking in the lot After class, I don’t like the parking lot. When I leave my night class or the shopping mall late the walk to the car is scary. Most parking lots have large lights which make me feel at least a little better. I feel least safe in our laundry room. . . . It is a depressing place . . . Bars on the windows, . . . pipes making noises, . . . cement steps the only way out. . . . lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 46 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 46 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM CHAPTER 2 The Writing Process 47 Copyright © 2013 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Dangerous Places Highways Cars—especially parking lots Feel frightened in our laundry room Big crowds—concerts, movies Closed-in places Bus and train stations Airplane Elevators and escalators Dangerous Places There are some places where I never feel completely safe. For example, I seldom feel safe in public rest rooms. I worry that I’ll suddenly be alone there and that someone will come in to attack me. The ugly graffiti often scrawled on the walls, along with the grime and dirt in the room and crumpled tissues and paper towels on the floor, add to my sense of unease and danger. I also feel unsafe in large, dark parking lots. When I leave my night class a little late, or I am one of the few leaving the mall at 10  P.M., I dread the walk to my car. I am afraid that someone may be lurking behind another car, ready to attack me. And I fear that my car will not start, leaving me stuck in the dark parking lot. The place where I feel least safe is the basement laundry room in our apartment building.

No matter what time I do my laundry, I seem to be the only person there. The windows are barred, and the only exit is a steep flight of cement steps. While I’m folding the clothes, I feel trapped. If anyone unfriendly came down those steps, I would have nowhere to go. The pipes in the room make sudden gurgles, clanks, and hisses, adding to my unsettledness. Places like public rest rooms, dark parking lots, and the basement laundry room give me the shivers. There are some places where I never feel completely safe. For example, I never feel safe in public rest rooms. If I’m alone there, I worry that someone will come in to rob and attack me. The dirt on the floors and the graffiti scrawled on the walls create a sense of danger. I feel unsafe in large, dark parking lots. When I leave my night class a little late or I leave the mall at 10 P.M., the walk to the car is scary. I’m afraid that someone may be behind a car.

Also that my car won’t start. Another place I don’t feel safe is the basement laundry room in our apartment building. No matter when I do the laundry, I’m the only person there. The windows are barred and there are steep steps. I feel trapped when I fold the clothes. The pipes in the room make frightening noises such as hisses and clanks. Our laundry room and other places give me the shivers. l an11285_ch02_019-051.indd 47 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 47 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM 48 PA R T 1 Writing: Skills and Process Some places seem dangerous and unsafe to me. For example, last night I stayed till 10:15 after night class and walked out to parking lot alone. Very scary. Also, other places I go to every day, such as places in my apartment building. Also frightened by big crowds and public rest rooms. Why was the parking lot scary? Dark Only a few cars No one else in lot Could be someone behind a car Cold What places in my building scare me?

Laundry room (especially) Elevators Lobby at night sometimes Outside walkway at night 2 Parking lots 3 Laundry room 1 Public rest rooms The author of “Dangerous Places” in Review Activity 8 made a number of ed- iting changes between the second draft and the final draft. Compare the two drafts and, in the spaces provided below, identify five of the changes. REVIEW ACTIVITY 9 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 48 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 48 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM CHAPTER 2 The Writing Process 49 Copyright © 2013 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. EXPLORING WRITING ONLINE In this chapter, you learned how to cluster or diagram your ideas. Use your fa- vorite search engine, such as Google, to discover other ways to visually organize your ideas. Do a search for the words “graphic organizers” to find the many dif- ferent types of printable organizers available. Find at least three that you would like to use during prewr iting. lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 49 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 49 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM What Do Sociologists Do? Sociologists are scientists who study people in groups and look at what happens in those groups. They may look at ethnic groups and the things that people in those groups do. They may look at groups defined by age and how people in those groups behave. They may look at families and study what happens in those families. Across Disciplines As a college student, you will be asked to write in many of your classes. The writing that you do in these classes will often involve making a point and supporting that point with reasons and details. Keep this in mind when you read the first draft of the paragraph below written by Jennifer for an introductory sociology course, and then answer the questions that follow.

Collaborative Activity Jennifer, the writer of the above paragraph, provided three reasons to sup- port her opening point, but not much else. With a classmate, together com- plete the outline below by providing two specific supporting details for each of Jennifer ’s three reasons. Title: What Do Sociologists Do? Topic sentence: Sociologists are scientists who study people in groups and look at what happens in those groups. 1. They may look at ethnic groups and the things that people in those groups do. a. b. 2. They may look at groups defined by age and how people in those groups behave. a. b. lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 50 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 50 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM Copyright © 2013 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. 3. They may look at families and study what happens in those families. a. b. Explore Writing Further Using your outline, revise Jennifer ’s paragraph. CHAPTER 2 The Writing Process 51 l an11285_ch02_019-051.indd 51 lan11285_ch02_019-051.indd 51 9/4/12 12:50 PM 9/4/12 12:50 PM