English

First Draft Worksheet

Instructions: Copy and paste the following text into a document or create a document that contains the same information.

Using your essay in response to the unit's writing prompt, complete the following steps to improve your essay.

Introduction

Insert your introductory paragraph. Include any revisions your instructor asked you to make.
From “fact sheets” by the University of Washington, did you know there is a connection between mental illness and violence being promoted by social media? The mentally incomapcitated society have been demoralized for a plethora of years. Social media has had a caustic relationship with the mentally ill for a myriad of years. We need to help the mentally challenged society to improve their lives. We need to quit discriminating against the handicapped society. We must quit thinking of them as dangerous because we do not understand them. We have to stand together so there is no more discrimination, no more provide healthcare, provide jobs.

Idea Development

Write the body and conclusion of your essay in the space below.
Mental illness is like a disease and we have to stand together and figure out the best ways to care for the people that have it. We need to get them working in the world with job programs. The “MentalHealthWork.com” is a good way for people with mental disabilities to get jobs. People need jobs in order to stay active in the community to provide their services. It is a good social zone for the mentally challenged because it provides a experience they might have never known.
Discrimination is big part of why it is so hard for them to find jobs. There have been many cases were job employers discriminate against a Pearson due to their mental state. From “HR hub.com” article “The jury awards 13 million in disability discrimination case.” It states “The jury found that Chuck E. Cheese violated the employment provisions of the ADA by discriminating against Donald Perkle when they fired him due to his disability, mental retardation.” This shows even today people with disabilities are being targeted and losing jobs.
We have to figure out a way to provide health care to the mentally challenged community. We need to create programs so they can contribute and feel part of the family. A program that helps the mentally incapacitated get a job is “MentalHealthWork.com”. This site helps mentally challenged people find good jobs to be more active in the community. Once they have job they can afford their own health care accept the one that is provided for them. For example medicate is provided for the mentally disabled.
Highlight each paragraph according to the stoplight approach:
- Green = Topic sentence
- Yellow = Example, reason, detail, or fact
- Red = Explanation of example, reason, detail, or fact
Based on your highlighting, what are the areas of your essay that need development?

I would work on the second paragraph in the yellow area.

Incorporate two additional or different examples to better support the controlling idea of this essay. Paste the examples below and identify your revisions by underlining.
We need to create programs so they can contribute and feel part of the family. A program that helps the mentally incapacitated get a job is “MentalHealthWork.com”. This site helps mentally challenged people find good jobs to be more active in the community. If they are more active in the community they will feel better about themselves.

. From “HR hub.com” article “The jury awards 13 million in disability discrimination case.” It states “The jury found that Chuck E. Cheese violated the employment provisions of the ADA by discriminating against Donald Perkle when they fired him due to his disability, mental retardation.” Discrimination is still around and it is causing people with disabilities to lose their job.

Choose two examples and improve the explanations of them. Be sure your explanations show how the examples prove the points of their paragraphs. In the space below, paste your paragraphs and identify your explanation revisions by underlining.
Discrimination is big part of why it is so hard for them to find jobs. There have been many cases were job employers discriminate against a Pearson due to their mental state. From “HR hub.com” article “The jury awards 13 million in disability discrimination case.” It states “The jury found that Chuck E. Cheese violated the employment provisions of the ADA by discriminating against Donald Perkle when they fired him due to his disability, mental retardation.” This shows even today people with disabilities are being targeted and losing jobs.
We have to figure out a way to provide health care to the mentally challenged community. We need to create programs so they can contribute and feel part of the family. A program that helps the mentally incapacitated get a job is “MentalHealthWork.com”. This site helps mentally challenged people find good jobs to be more active in the community. Once they have job they can afford their own health care accept the one that is provided for them. For example medicate is provided for the mentally disabled.

Idea Development

Paste all of your revised body paragraphs and conclusion in the space below. Bold the transitions (link to transition list). Remember, transitions are ued between examples and between examples and explanations.
Discrimination is big part of why it is so hard for them to find jobs. There have been many cases were job employers discriminate against a Pearson due to their mental state. From “HR hub.com” article “The jury awards 13 million in disability discrimination case.” It states “The jury found that Chuck E. Cheese violated the employment provisions of the ADA by discriminating against Donald Perkle when they fired him due to his disability, mental retardation.” This shows even today people with disabilities are being targeted and losing jobs. If they are more active in the community they will feel better about themselves.

We have to figure out a way to provide health care to the mentally challenged community. We need to create programs so they can contribute and feel part of the family. A program that helps the mentally incapacitated get a job is “MentalHealthWork.com”. This site helps mentally challenged people find good jobs to be more active in the community. Once they have job they can afford their own health care accept the one that is provided for them. For example medicate is provided for the mentally disabled. Discrimination is still around and it is causing people with disabilities to lose their job.

Identify what you have done to synthesize your message throughout this essay, especially in your conclusion.
I have refined my conclusion by adding details and quotes. I have included articles.
Include your works cited information below, in MLA format.

NULLIS, CLARE Associated Press Writer” “World Health Organization urges more attention to
mental health problems.” BillingsGazette, http://billingsgazette.com/lifestyles/health-med-fit/world-health-organization-urges-more-attention-to-mental-health-problems/article_fd916646-88f6-50ff-9f20-ade4f05e1c92.html. Accessed 25 March 2017.

“Mental Health Conditions.” NAMI: National Association Of Mental Illness,

https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-Conditions. Accessed 25 March 2017.
“Mental Health Reporting: Fact Sheets” School Of Social Work, University Of Washington.
- http://depts.washington.edu/mhreport/facts_violence.php. Accessed 25 March 2017.