Memo and letter Rewrite

Graded Memo Rewrite/Makeover –

Please rewrite this Memo using correct writing style, format, tone, grammar mechanics, etc. Include your analysis of the changes needed/errors you found on a separate page.

Many employees have complained about the new work hours of 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. You made this decision because of the complaints shared by clientele about their not being able to make personal calls from their workplace until after 5 p.m. They would call our office and get a recording to leave a message. Many of them needed answers to questions quickly. Your employees used to work 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. and naturally missed getting calls from these clients. You don’t want to lose clientele. You have to get them to see the need for this mandated change. Here is what you hurriedly wrote below:

To: All Staff

Subject: New Work Hours

From: Your Name, Supervisor

Date: June 29, 2017

Many of you have complained about the new work hours of 9 to 6 p.m. Please know that we are in business because of our clientele and we must accommodate their concerns. I know some of you had to change child care services, etc. but you must abide if you want to keep your jobs.

Unless you have prior permission to be late you are expected to come to work at 9 a.m. Monday through Friday and leave at 6 p.m. Anyone not abiding by this directive will be written up by me. Some of you may have elder care issues or therapy treatment needs; you can probably rearrange them if you try.

I expect a change in morale so we can continue the business of serving our clientele who are important to our survival.

Thanks and do adhere to this directive.

Sincerely

Your Name

BCOM 5203

Graded Letter Rewrite/Makeover

Please rewrite this Letter using correct writing style, format, tone, grammar mechanics, etc. Include your analysis of the changes needed/errors you found on a separate page. Construct a letterhead.

As the Public Relations Director of Damsel Corporation, 12 Hill Top Drive, Cummings, GA 30078; you organized an annual golf outing for 90 golfers at the Golden Mountain Golf Retreat, 2345 Boulder Creek, Stone Mountain Georgia 30038. This was an all day event for $10,000 which included greens fees, range balls, and golf carts for the 90 golfers; the Retreat‘s Club pro was available for a one-hour practice session. Lunch was served in the Club pavilion; it was catered by Little Della’s Deli. Door prizes totaling $2,000 were given out as well at the luncheon. All had a good time and the $10,000 was the total invoiced price for this event which was paid in advance.

You just know this is an error and called several times only to be told that was the outstanding balance for this all day event. You paid the $2000 but now know that was incorrect; you want your money back. You decided to write the letter below.

June 29, 2017

Golden Mountain Golf Retreat

Stone Mountain, GA

Dear Sir

My firm, Damsel Corporation, had a great time at our golf outing event at your Retreat. I paid an invoice for $10,000 for this all day event; however, you sent me an invoice for another $2000 which I paid in error. This is not correct. The invoice stated $10,000 was due. See my canceled checks and my invoice #20111 enclosed.

Although I have call you several time, you keep telling me that I owed an additional $2000 but this is not true. Can you check your records or find the paid invoice because it does not say I owe any more money or have a balance.

This situation has been most annoying for me to receive this invoive which I paid in error when I know I do not owe any more money. Please check into this and send me a paid in full invoice and a check for $2000.

I want to here from you by July 10 to resolve this matter as I do not want to resort to a lawyer. I hope to schedule another golf outing at your Retreat next year.

Regards

Your Name, Director

Inc.