Overview This semester you have discussed and analyzed multiple perspectives on several topics. You have seen how all writing exists in connection to others’ perspectives on a topic to create an ongoi

INTRODUCTIONS:

Your introductory hooks are effective. Katie launches into a personal story, and Kayleigh opens with a history lesson. Bri opens with a strong shared assumption about American freedom, and Stephanie makes a simple statement about bullying. You may decide to ask a question, share a relevant quote, or define the problem.

If you're struggling with your hook, consider introducing your topic with a story or example. Make sure that your introductions are practically perfect with respect to grammar and punctuation. Consider using more short, simple sentences in the first paragraph to get your point across. Create a great first impression. Several essays begin with awkward sentences. Read your first paragraph aloud. (If you have time, read your entire essay aloud and listen for awkward phrasing.)

THESIS STATEMENTS:

Most essays contain a fairly clear argumentative thesis statement in the first paragraph. Take a moment to read your thesis aloud. Is it mechanically correct? Is it simple and clear? Take yourself out of your thesis ("I have determined," "my research shows," etc.) You may refer to yourself (I, me, my, mine) in the rest of your essay, but your thesis will be stronger and more persuasive if you avoid distracting first-person references.

Please be sure to read my outline feedback in Discussion 5.1. You may open the essay with a question, but avoid phrasing your thesis as a question. Instead of offering to share your thoughts on both sides of a topic, make your position known. Take a stand. Look at your thesis statement, which is usually in the last sentence of the first paragraph, and ask yourself: "Am I taking one side of an argument? Is this argument clear to readers? Is this an argument at all?"

This is Kara's thesis statement:
In areas that have the resources to enforce regulations, hunting is a useful conservation tool that benefits wildlife and hunters. (Kara, I moved some words around.)

Readers will expect the essay to contain more information about the benefits of hunting as well as the limitations of "resources to enforce these rules." Kara hints at counterarguments and concessions in her thesis, and that is fine. A simpler thesis, "Problem X can be solved with Solution Y" is acceptable, too. Be sure that you can easily visualize an opposing argument: "Solution Y will never work." Address the opposing side in your counterargument section.

Be persuasive. Your efforts to educate readers must align with your need to persuade.

BODY: Continue to use stories and examples to illustrate your points. If your essay is too short, consider adding some kind of case study or example to further illustrate your points.

A couple of writers present unsupported arguments. You should include your opinions, but you should also cite them. Check each paragraph for unsupported opinions.

COUNTERARGUMENT: Don't forget to include a counterargument. Most students are presenting well-cited counterarguments. Be sure that you include an opposing source. Jordan's essay contains a good example of a counterargument paragraph; he cites a source (please do this) and refutes the opposition. Please do not introduce the opposing side and fail to refute it. Disagreement is not the same as rebuttal.

QUOTATIONS: Avoid over-quoting. Around 75% of the essay should be in your own words. Use quotation marks when you quote your sources, and provide citations. Format long quotes properly: https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/mla_style/mla_formatting_and_style_guide/mla_formatting_quotations.html

Please cite every quotation, and please use signal phrases! I spotted several un-cited, un-signaled quotations.

Make sure that the source of paraphrases is clear; cite when the source is not clear.

CONCLUSION: Avoid saying, "in conclusion" or "to conclude." Avoid adding new information in the closing paragraph. This is the place to reiterate your argument.

You have a variety of options for your closing paragraph. If your subject warrants it, add a little pathos to the conclusion. Depending on your topic, you might make a prediction (positive or negative). Reaffirm your position. You may want to warn your readers or shout a call to action. Your conclusion should inspire readers to think deeply and reconsider their positions. Try to turn your conclusion outward--toward your readers. Focus on your audience at the end. If your topic is sensitive or divisive, doubling down may not be the right approach. Is there any way to offer an olive branch? Can the problem be solved in a non-traditional way?

IN-TEXT CITATIONS: BE SURE TO CITE ALL OF YOUR WORKS CITED SOURCES throughout the body of the essay.
-Cite every fact, quote and expert opinion.
-Cite paraphrases (if the source is not already clear through a signal phrase). Avoid writing paraphrases that are too close to the original: this is plagiarism.
-Make your in-text citation match the first few words of your works cited entry, whether it's an author's last name or the title of the article.
-Avoid putting URLs or publishers in your in-text citations.
-Quote article names.
-Do not include paragraph numbers or years in your in-text citations.

It should be easy for me to see which works cited entries you are referencing.