“The Wedding Fight” Background Kyle and Kelly have been dating for three years. They’ve recently become engaged, and they are planning their upcoming wedding, which is one month away. Kelly: Hey

“The Wedding Fight”

Background

Kyle and Kelly have been dating for three years. They’ve recently become engaged, and they are planning their upcoming wedding, which is one month away.

Kelly: Hey, guess what! We got our wedding invitations today. We can write up our final guest list and mail them out this weekend.

Kyle: I thought you were doing that.

Kelly: You thought I was doing that? You always say that you’re going to help, but when it actually comes down to it, you don’t. Or should I say, won’t.

Kyle: You know it’s finals, and I have to study. I just don’t have the time.

Kelly: So what do you think I’ve been doing, sitting on my backside? Besides, since when did you decide to become such a serious student?

Kyle: (under his breath) Here we go again. More like my mother every day.

Kelly: Why don’t you say it loud enough so that I can hear it? What exactly is that supposed to mean anyway? Maybe I wouldn’t have to act like your mother if you didn’t act like such a child!

Kyle: Well, somebody’s got to relax around here. You’re so uptight, and I don’t just mean about the wedding invitations.

Kelly: What do you mean, uptight?

Kyle: Cold, totally disconnected.

Kelly: How am I cold?

Kyle: Like it takes a genius to figure it out.

Kelly: You don’t care about this wedding at all. Do you even care about me at all?

Kyle: That’s ridiculous. You’re right—I couldn’t care less about the wedding. It’s the wedding night that I’m worried about.

Kelly: Oh my God, I can’t believe this is about sex! I’m talking about invitations, and you’re talking about sex. That’s all you care about. Well, sex and football. I don’t know if I’m mad about the wedding or the stupid football games we go to every single week, Mr. Serious College Student. You sure have plenty of time for the football games!

Kyle: What do you mean? We haven’t gone to a football game for the last two weekends because of all this wedding planning!

Kelly: (sarcastically) Well, aren’t you the perfect martyr. You’ve given up so much for me. I’m impressed!

Kyle: (exasperated, but resigned) You know what—just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. I’ll write the stupid invitations.

Kelly: You could start by picking out your tux.

Kyle: I did. You didn’t like it. Big shocker there.

Kelly: What do you expect me to say about a white tux—nobody wears white tuxes anymore.

Kyle: Well, I like it, and that’s what I’m going to wear.

Kelly: Oh, come on. You’re not really going to wear that. Even your Mom said you should wear something more serious. Black would be better.

Kyle: Are we planning for a wedding or a funeral?

Discussion Questions

After reading the dialogue out loud, ask students to analyze the conflict with respect to the questions given below. Have the students work in dyads or small groups. Have the students share their analyses with their group members. Then, have one person from each group present its report to the entire class. Facilitate the class discussion, incorporating as many student responses as possible. Incorporate the terminology from the chapter, and clarify students’ questions as much as possible.

1 Discuss the role of anger in this conversation. a.Evaluate Kelly’s expression of anger. How could she have expressed her anger more effectively? b. Evaluate Kyle’s reception of Kelly’s anger. Describe the strategies that Kyle could have used to manage the conflict more productively.

1. Give one example of how you could help either Kyle or Kelly reframe his or her interpretation of the other.

Individual Submission: Respond to the two questions above and submit your personal responses in a Word document. Be sure to write the question and then your response in complete sentences. Each response should be no more than 5-7 sentences.