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QUESTION

Editing, revising

Please revise this paper. It needs to be fixed and cleaned up a lot!

The classroom was unremarkable. I remember the smell of freshly sharpened pencils

and new paper, the desk were the originals from were that little rural school was build

around 1970. The green chalkboard was carefully decorated with at the top with colorful

flowers ,butterflies and letters .The doors remain open during class and you could feel a

light breeze coming through .There was a big pine tree in front of the classroom. The

sound of that breeze flowing through the pine needles was relaxing and comforting. I

close my eyes and can still hear that sound , very peaceful. The teacher√Ęs desk decorated

with wild flowers that students will bring ,using a old beverage glass bottle as a vase. Mrs

Velazquez . Her hair was always neatly comb into a side ponytail, the detail that I

remember about Mrs Velazquez our Spanish teacher. She took our writing and reading

skills very seriously , she instilled in us her love for the literature, the importance of

having good writing and reading skills ,she was a devoted teacher and wanted the best for

her students, she wanted her students to be succesfull.

Being in the class of Mrs.

Velazquez was one of the most important moments of my literacy skills because I learned

more about reading and writing (Supporting point 1), supporting point2, and supporting

point3.

(Discussion of the supporting point should be in the first body paragraph). Our class

was after lunch break. I sat in the front row ,eager to learn and made her proud. We read

out loud , we were taught to re read our writings , there was no room for grammar errors

with her. It was supposed to be perfect. We were assign to learn the prepositions for the

next day, and as a young child and doing what kids would do I went home after school

and set my backpack in a corner chair until the next morning, As I walk into the

classroom the next day and open my note book I realized the missing assignment and

went into a panic mode .I did not wanted to disappoint my favorite teacher. Luckily my

turn to step up to the front of the classroom and recite the prepositions was towards the

end, This gave me enough time to memorized them . Good job she said , you did very

well. I felt a big relieve but still my worries were spinning around my head. What if I

wouldn√Ęt learned them ,I would of fail. I did not wanted to look unprepared and

unknowledgeable in front of the classroom and in front of my teacher. Oh what a relief.

From that experience I learned to be more responsible and to keep feeding my love for

the literacy.We read our books and learn to write a short review of the stories, always

emphasizing the importance of writing correctly .She knew this was going to be a

lifetime benefit for her students. Then by third grade we learn the cursive method .She

would analyze it very meticulously and was able to observe if we had lift our pencils

before finishing the word, we were expected to write a word without lifting the pencil and

making extra attachment in between letters. The learning experience with her I never

forget. She was our teacher from second grade to six grade, until we graduated from that

little school .

(Discussion of the second supporting point should be in the second body paragraph)As

I went into the big city for middle school I was in a mixed of emotions stage, I was afraid

of all the people there. There was near four hundred students VS ninety students at the

previous school. One thing I knew for sure. I was prepared . Always hear stories from the

bigger kids talking about how you have to read so many books and all this endless pages

of writing, for sure I was prepare and proud of it. I always took pride of my writing skills

and this is one of the most important moments in my literacy development because of my

career as a nurse, we have to do a lot of documentation and although English was not the

language that I was though into , I still consider my writing skills to be as good as I could

do in my language and I take pride on it. As I was taught by her I re read my writings and

my nursing notes before they are submitted .In conclusion I truly believe that literacy

should be given more importance than what is really given now days . I have school age

children now and I can see how the perfection of the grammar is not emphasize enough

as an important part of the class learning curriculum .

(Discussion of the third supporting point should be in the third body paragraph)

Conclusion paragraph should restate thesis and summarize the main points

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