Homework for Wendy Lewis

Romantic Attachment Styles

There are three primary romantic attachment styles. One quick way to discover your romantic attachment style is to choose which of the following descriptions best describes you. Take a minute to do this:

Secure attachment style: I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I do not often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting close to me.

Avoidant attachment style: I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others. I find it difficult to trust them completely and difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and often, love partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being.

Anxious/ambivalent attachment style: I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner does not really love me or will not want to stay with me. I want to merge completely with another person, and this desire sometimes scares people away. (Kenrick, Neuberg, & Cialdini, 2007 p.270)

In a 2- to 3-page paper discuss the following:

• • Based on the above descriptions what romantic attachment style best describes you?

• • How has this attachment style affected your past and/or current relationships?

• • How has this attachment style also affected your non-romantic relationships?

• • Is your romantic attachment style similar to the attachment style you had with your parents when you were young?

• • If it is the same why do you think it has not changed? If it is different what experiences as an adult do you think lead to this change?

• • What type of situations might an adult experience that would shift their childhood attachment style to a different adult romantic relationship style?

• •           Secure (as a child) to anxious/ambivalent (as an adult)

•           Avoidant (as a child) to secure (as an adult)

 Your response should be at least two pages long.