Two Essays

Instructions for Practicing Assertion Skills

Once you have reviewed the material and have become familiar with the process of assertive communication covered in Chapters 8 through 10 of the People Skills book, find an opportunity to practice using an assertion message, using the guidelines from People Skills (Chapters 8 through 10) and the handout.  (This could be anything from trying to get better service in a restaurant, to talking to a roommate or family member about ways to improve your relationship, to getting up the courage to ask for a raise at work.)  Before you experiment, think about how you might communicate your needs (being specific, non-judgmental, etc.) and how you might handle a defensive response.  Then give it a try!  (Pay attention to your nonverbal communication as well.) 

Assertion skills to practice:

• Preparing and using a three-part assertion message (either Bolton, Rosenberg or Ellison version)
• Handling defensive responses by recycling the process (if needed)
• Paying attention to nonverbal cues in your delivery

WRITING THE PAPER

Content of your paper - 

 In writing about your experiences:

• Describe the situation(s).
• Discuss in detail which specific skills that you used and why.  
• Analyze how the use of these skills impacted the dynamics of the situation and how your use of these skills impacted both you and the other person.  
• What challenges did you face in this situation and how did you handle them?
• What was the outcome?
• Discuss which skills were the most valuable in this situation.
• Reflect upon your experiences, what was most difficult, what was easiest, and what you've learned.

Format - 

Papers should be typed, double-spaced.   Use a 12-point font that is easily readable (Times New Roman is recommended, but not required).  Use 1 inch margins on all sides.    Use page numbering.   The title of the paper,  your name and the class and semester should appear at the top of the first page as follows:

 Practice/Reflection Paper - Assertion

 Student Name (replace this with your name)

 Intro to Conflict Management - Spring 2017

Length - 

There is not a specific length requirement for these papers, though a reasonable expectation would be that at least two pages would be written about each skills practice (probably more).   You could easily write more, depending on the complexity of the situation and the thoroughness of your discussion and analysis.  An IN-DEPTH discussion and analysis is expected.  You will be expected to provide all of the information requested for the assignment, present sufficient detail that I can understand what was happening in each situation (names can be changed to protect the innocent or guilty if need be), and demonstrate a good understanding and analysis of each situation and how the concepts we’ve been studying apply in that situation.  

Expectations -

The goal of these assignments is for you to practice your awareness, listening, assertion and principled negotiation skills, and to be able to identify which skills are most valuable in a given situation.   

Your papers should clearly explain the situation(s), accurately identify the skills used, and assess the impact of those skills.  Papers will be evaluated on your demonstrated understanding of and ability to apply what we’ve learned, the thoroughness of your analysis, insights, and the quality of your presentation of the information

How to Do Well on This Assignment -

Follow instructions!  Make a sincere effort to actually practice the skills.  (It’s even okay if they didn’t work, as long as you can reflect upon the experience and figure out why they didn’t work or what could have been done differently.)  Include all of the information requested in the instructions — that’s what I’ll be looking for.  Do some in-depth analysis of how things went, and demonstrate what you learned from the experience.

Instructions for Practicing Principled Negotiation Skills

Life presents us with numerous opportunities to negotiate.  These opportunities don’t necessarily always involve conflict, and aren’t always over something major like buying a house or a car or your salary.   Maybe you need to negotiate with friends or family about what you’re doing over the weekend, or who gets to use the car this week, or who should do the household chores.  You may need to negotiate to get a day off work, or how you’re going to pay your electric bill.   Or maybe you want to get your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse to do something for you.  Look for situations where you can use the principled negotiation skills you’ve learned in Getting to Yes, try them out and see how they work for you.  Use the four principles, think about your BATNA, and if you run into a difficult situation, try some of the suggestions for handling those difficult negotiations.    

Principled negotiation skills to practice:

• Utilizing the four principles (discuss each of the four principles individually in your paper)
• Developing a BATNA
• If necessary, dealing with difficult issues (such as power disparities, positional bargainers, or dirty tricks)

WRITING THE PAPER

Content of your paper - 

 In writing about your experiences:

• Describe the situation(s).
• Discuss in detail which specific skills that you used and why.  
• Analyze how the use of these skills impacted the dynamics of the situation and how your use of these skills impacted both you and the other person.  
• What challenges did you face in this situation and how did you handle them?
• What was the outcome?
• Discuss which skills were the most valuable in this situation.
• Reflect upon your experiences, what was most difficult, what was easiest, and what you've learned.

Format - 

Papers should be typed, double-spaced.   Use a 12-point font that is easily readable (Times New Roman is recommended, but not required).  Use 1 inch margins on all sides.    Use page numbering.   The title of the paper,  your name and the class and semester should appear at the top of the first page as follows:

 Practice/Reflection Paper - Negotiation

 Student Name (replace this with your name)

 Intro to Conflict Management - Spring 2017

Length - 

There is not a specific length requirement for these papers, though a reasonable expectation would be that at least two pages would be written about each skills practice (probably more).   You could easily write more, depending on the complexity of the situation and the thoroughness of your discussion and analysis.  An IN-DEPTH discussion and analysis is expected.  You will be expected to provide all of the information requested for the assignment, present sufficient detail that I can understand what was happening in each situation (names can be changed to protect the innocent or guilty if need be), and demonstrate a good understanding and analysis of each situation and how the concepts we’ve been studying apply in that situation.  

Expectations -

The goal of these assignments is for you to practice your awareness, listening, assertion and principled negotiation skills, and to be able to identify which skills are most valuable in a given situation.   

Your papers should clearly explain the situation(s), accurately identify the skills used, and assess the impact of those skills.  Papers will be evaluated on your demonstrated understanding of and ability to apply what we’ve learned, the thoroughness of your analysis, insights, and the quality of your presentation of the information

How to Do Well on This Assignment -

Follow instructions!  Make a sincere effort to actually practice the skills.  (It’s even okay if they didn’t work, as long as you can reflect upon the experience and figure out why they didn’t work or what could have been done differently.)  Include all of the information requested in the instructions — that’s what I’ll be looking for.  Do some in-depth analysis of how things went, and demonstrate what you learned from the experience.