Art History 4-5 page paper

I had one page introductory paragraph and thesis statement summitted. 

You will need to edit my paragraph according to the teacher's feekback.

The topic will be about Frans Janszoon Post's artwork A Brazilian Landscape. (Disscussing his work)

You only need to write 4 more pages.

Format: 4-5 pages, double spaced, 12 point type, citations in end note form (these do not count toward length), images at the end (these also o not count toward length).

Using sources that your TA has approved, build on and develop the perspective on the object at hand using your research. Try to stay close to the thesis statement (double check every paragraph to be sure it is consistent with the thesis statement objective). Try reading just the topic sentences of the paragraphs (the first sentence should set up the subject matter of each paragraph). Be sure these give you a schematic overview of the paper.

Tips: Try to think of the experience of the reader. Consider having a friend, family member, or classmate read the paper and ask them to circle what is awkward, unclear, repetitive, or seems to depart too far from your thesis statement. Try reading the paper out loud to see what your ear catches as awkward or wordy. Try to find the pleasure in descriptive writing as something that can evoke the vitality of these objects. 

RUBRIC

240 Points Total

1. The introductory paragraph as an opening line that invites the reader to continue reading. May take any form, but is not likely to work if it just names the work and its dates! 10 points 

2. Introductory paragraph introduces the fundamentals of the object and its audience. 10 points

3. The thesis statement is clear. It states an opinion about the objects that can be proven using expert research. 20 points.

4. A sequence of three to five paragraphs that tie back to the thesis statement in way builds up to an argument. These should contain historic information that addresses the context and audience for the object. This is where you use the research citations named above. 60 points

5. Every paragraph has a topic sentence that indicates what the subject matter is of the paragraph. 20 points.

6. A concluding paragraph that restates the thesis in terms that show you have proven your point. If possible, in the conclusion you may indicate where the argument would go if the paper were longer or how you would improve the paper if you had a semester to expand it. 20 points

7. Catchy title: Should give general sense of the topic. Can be serious, humorous, literary, descriptive. 20 points

8. Grammar: 20 points (minus two points per -- clearly careless -- grammatical error). Hint: Run a grammar check.

9. Spelling: 20 points (minus two points per spelling error). Hint: Run a spell check.

10. RESEARCH RULES: Using the sources that your TA has approved, build on and develop the perspective on the object at hand using your research. Quotes should not exceed two lines each, so only use the part of a text that supports or complicates your argument. If you are tempted to use a quote for a listing of data, don't! Reword the data and be sure to cite   the  source of the data (so you don't get in trouble for plagiarizing someone's hard work assembling it).  You must cite all quotes and paraphrasing. For citation format, follow the Chicago Manual of Style Guidelines at: http://www.chicagomanualofstyle.org/tools_citationguide.html.:  40 points