2200-3000 words free to use pic and research and i had draft plz write follow my draft and teacher comment i will post it under What is the academic conversation that you are entering with this essay

2200-3000 words free to use pic and research and i had draft plz write follow my draft and teacher comment i will post it under 

What is the academic conversation that you are entering with this essay? What is the need to write this essay? What is your argumentative claim and overall argument throughout the essay? I like this idea of it being necessary to grow up. But that's been said before. What can you back up with a little bit of research? I thought you were going to write about the unique experiences of international students. Is that still the plan? There's only a little of that in this draft. Unlike your open letter, you are really vague in this and generalize unnecessarily and unhelpfully. Generalizing always misses something, that's why it's important to be specific. I would do some searching on scholar.google.com about the maturity level of international students. How does being an international student affect them in various ways: medically, psychologically, academically, etc? 

and the file is the require and my draft 

its due on monday at 8AM